Dear Disabled Me

Discoverying how to function after becoming disabled- Brain injury, Hemiplegic Migraine and other brain complications

[dear-disabled-me]

I need this reminder daily, maybe even hourly many days if I'm honest... to not beat myself up for "missing out" or not doing "enough". I need to prioritize loving and caring for me. The WHOLE me because no one else will. Its been engrained in me to be independent never ask for help because no one can do it like me. Very toxic I know, nevertheless, thats still rooted in my psycie. Dont mind my typos I call numerous brain illnesses on this one so forgive me or move on. Ok back to what I was saying... eh er um yea perfection can kick rocks. I'm tired blah-dy blah listen to your body and not the bully in your head. Peace and love -Disabled me

[dear-disabled-me]

[dear-disabled-me]

[dear-disabled-me]

[dear-disabled-me]

Its being held hostage in your own body

[dear-disabled-me]

[dear-disabled-me]

[dear-disabled-me]

How do you survive life when sound makes everything unbearable

[dear-disabled-me]

It's beyond me how sound can be weaponized. You have to respect the brain, when its off baby its OFF and everything suffers Period.

[dear-disabled-me]

[dear-disabled-me]

My gosh the whispering because talking hurts this hits home so hard. Trying to hang on to any ounce of communication before the Aphasia completely takes over and I can't talk at all. The horror it is to lose language.. imagine your 3yr old neice so happy to show you something and you cant respond. Speech is everything

[dear-disabled-me]

[dear-disabled-me]

Things I wish people would have shared with me earlier on☝🏾

[dear-disabled-me]

[dear-disabled-me]

[dear-disabled-me]

I have all except pain with touch at least so far and for that I am greatful. These symptoms alone so severe keep me unable to function well in any environment. Even though I come guarded up as if for war against them more often than not I can't leave home and/or need ridiculous amounts of breaks or more of my reality is I must leave. I've left places literally after seconds of stepping foot into their establishment, 8minutes the longest another try which triggered a flare and deep depression for the rest of that week. No one but a fellow sufferer understands feeling like they no longer belong in the world because everything hurts so bad you end up clutching your head praying for mercy in a fetal position that a vein in your head wont pop because of the intensity of the pressure and ungodly pain you're certain will kill you if it doesnt let up taking rescue meds and again praying ferverent mercy prayers that you don't have to die this painful death. Only a fellow sufferer understands the hell we live that we wish for quick death and arent afraid of it anymore because the alternative a more severe debilitating cognitive functioning or lack of functioning on top of isolation just doesnt seem worth it. Like what quality of life do I even have? Now pile on more uhhh my God I wish there was a way to have people understand and this isn't even including my specific and rare migraine symptoms or the other neurological crap I must face daily. 💔

[dear-disabled-me]