More Than Just A Name

Name:Jane Ethnicity: Filipino Occupation: Struggling student Main Hobby: Photography (amateur) Other Comments: I have seriously random trains of thought.

[dear-jane]

Rough night when reality pulls so hard it won't let you lose yourself to any of your imaginary worlds

[dear-jane]

most of the time when I’m down and  want to txt or call you I don’t... because it’s more likely that I’ll just get sadder because there won’t be a response

It already seems like I still attempt to reach out daily... but that’s not even half of the times I would like to have

I’ve been able to smother ALL my other expectations...but this last one is the hardest

It’s almost gone though... because I really am honestly surprised any time I get some sort of communication

ugh... it just needs to go away

[mysharona1987]

[dear-jane]

one day..

[dear-jane]

I guess I’ll just call them episodes... because I don’t think they’d be deemed normal by society so they ought to be labeled to distinguish them

these episodes have been becoming more frequent and more confusing

in today’s latest episode the question ‘what makes you happy?’ was asked... with no immediate answer, staring at the wall, muscles with no motivation to move and a heavy chest  the response was just to sleep until there was something that had to be done (take the dog out in the afternoon)

[dear-jane]

These weekend makes it feel like relapsing would be an easy and comfortable route to take. Walls and bridges have so much upkeep. I feel like I’m missing my little cave. I guess it’s the closest thing to “home” that I’ve got. Thinking about my cave seems so relaxing actually… Yea… Tomorrow I’ll go home, it’s been a while

[dear-jane]

It seems I’ve hit some random wall of wanting to give up everything... it must be time to sleep... i should prolly schedule a cry night, it’s been a while since a big emotion purge, i keep smothering them when they try to pop up

[bambubrand]

This is all I have left in stock. Should I do more giveaways?

[dear-jane]

of the hoodies n crewnecks I have, the ones from this store are my fav <3

...one day I'll have more ^_^ *crosses fingers for reprints*

[dear-jane]

my posts with the most feels stay in my drafts... i don't remember the last time i looked at them, i think it was over a year ago

so i looked over and saw, 21 drafts? what the heck do i have in there. and when the page loaded the first post literally scared me.  it was so angry that it felt like someone was in my face screaming at me

i scrolled through some real fast, not really reading any details and decided... nope... nope, can't be here right now

i'm not gonna get rid of them cuz it's stuff that happened... and i'm not gonna totally run away from it.  but for now, ima live in ignorance of those emotions

[4gifs]

[thecunningfire-deactivated20180]

This is just so pleasing to watch. 

[allthingshyper]

THE WITCHCRAFT i COULD DO WITH THIS CANDLE

[pandragolot-deactivated20160710]

two types of people

[dear-jane]

this is better than connecting candles with paper strips

... wonder if i can make one..

[dear-jane]

I guess I spend too much time worrying about stuff that shouldn't matter, or doesn't matter.... And I can't figure out why it does to me. But luckily I guess, when I realize this then I can just kick in my childhood learning... Lock n key.. Lock n key. It has gotten me this far, so it works right?

[dear-jane]

well... it was a good day...

good hard work and skype date with an old friend <3

...and now, maybe I'll just go to bed

[kingjaffejoffer]

[prettyboyshyflizzy]

Ingenuity.

I AM DONE

[dear-jane]

Been a while

It's been quite some time since I posted much on here XD

Today marks the end of my summer vacay and the start of my Fall term outta state.  I've been incredibly spoiled this past week, it's been a long time since I've been able to spend so much time with the bf.  We've done week stays before but this time we didn't go out with anyone else, so it was really just the two of us.  Makes me ache for the future when we can come home from work and just bum it out together on the couch.

Before heading outta state we moved my stuff to my new place for Spring.  It's a beautiful house just outside of town with a gorgeous view of the mountain side and a huge plot we can use for gardening.

Not much traffic at all heading outta state.  We had the house to ourselves for the first few days because of the holiday.  But even then it seemed that way the whole week since my co-worker was usually at work or out with friends or out running.  

I brought him to the resort, which was awesome.  We spent pretty much the whole time in the arcade room and ironically didn't even go into the water park XD.  We won a ton of tickets though.  Putt-putt and mini bowling was fun and the hot tub was super relaxing.  We even finally got photobooth pictures ^_^  although I did get sick... but I should have known better than to eat bbq even though it was super yummy :D and I didn't even pack any antacid tablets for the trip >.<

The rest of the week was the best kind of lazy.  Sleeping in, staying up late, watching anime, cooking together... it was like a dream <3

I didn't start unpacking or fixing my room until Friday :P and I still haven't finished unpacking but I've got most of it done.  He was also able to get my microphone to start working again!! <3 so I can stop crying over that now XD ... as well as updated all my laptop security stuffs.  Saturday we watched the game together, and even though I'm not all that in tune with sports it was fun to watch.  But also he was super hyped about it so that's always cute.

He went back home this morning on a 6:30 flight. so now I have even less motivation to get anything done today... but I'll prolly attempt at unpacking another box or so.  Didn't get up until noon and took an afternoon nap on top of that.

We both have a lotta work ahead of us this semester, both school and work.  We're not expecting to see each other till at least January and with the schedules we'll be working it'll mostly be email communication between us.  And even though it's gonna be super frustrating we each have work to do on ourselves outside of work and school.  We've made preliminary agreements on reception stuff and we've set goals for ourselves to get healthier.

Regardless... I'm a little sad but still super excited for everything we've planned.  So far away but a lot of fun times still between then and now.

<3 <3

[dear-jane]

I've let my emotions venture outside of my imaginary worlds for too long now ... it's time to change the locks

[theblogthatneversleeps]

Barack Obama has attained a level of sassiness one can only dream of.

[editorincreeps-deactivated20180]

Holy shit it’s real.

[glitchedpuppet]

So it turns out that even if I say no, if a company doesn’t like my answer, they’ll do it anyway. A big “fuck you” to poprageous, who I contacted last year, received a reply that essentially said “no I won’t pay you,” and then did it anyway 12 months later (I suppose she hoped I would forget about her?).

Before I replied to her first scummy email where she only says that she’d send me a FREE PAIR (oh WOW), I made a blog post

I had recently undergone other companies trying to do the same thing and her email reply to me was just nothing short of incredibly shitty. After seeing my post (which didn’t mention her company or anything) she thought it would be a good idea to send me an email trying to make ME feel bad that I didn’t just ASK for money for using my artwork. That it was on ME to ask about royalties, not about her fucking company to actually fairly pay artists or anything.

"I saw your post - what do u want to get paid? Let’s work out a royalty.  jeeeez all u had to do was ask."

Like seriously?

All I had to do was ask? That’s pretty hilarious, considering she asked, I said no, and she went ahead with it anyway.

Regardless, this is shit. Companies shouldn’t act like this. People using creator’s works just because they exist and feel like they should be able to is just absolutely bullshit.

The most appalling thing about this is seriously the fact that I said no and she did it anyway. I said no and she did it anyway.

This is how little most companies respect and regard artists. Thanks a lot, Cher Park.

Feel free to let her know that it’s not acceptable to pull this bullshit with her company email, [email protected] - please don’t be rude or anything, but this is definitely not okay and she needs to not do this to other artists in the future.

[glitchedpuppet]

Oh yes, let me not forgot to mention: she has no trace of credit on the image, this time. She posted an instagram earlier a year ago with credit to my name, but it seems she’d rather remove it so that I not find out, I guess.

Good job, Cher Park.

[photojojo]

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[dear-jane]

.... :O

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