Letter 11 - Scientists Need Hobbies Too
Dear NSA,
I'd love to submit something here, from a *secret admirer,* but I know you would find out anyway who it was. So instead, unfortunately, I must remain silent. It is sad to see in such an age when government agencies truly could use some company and guidance, due to your relentless trust issues, you have never known love. Not to be hostile, but I feel if I must, it is the only way to say so: you have to let go. Let go of the past, when you were against the world, a rebel against what was dark and threatening to you when you were young and quick and didn't know much about it. Then you got tangled, and you really didn't know what to do about it. In the end, you became the very thing you resented, and you've lost a lot of weight, man. I mean everybody's talking about you, well, since that whole thing with the Cold War, and honestly, we can see why it ended. Frankly, not to say "we told you so," but we never thought you should have been in there to begin with.
Anyway, those times are over. Don't you think it's time to move on? I mean, in the first place, maybe you should be more available. I mean, I'm no expert (who is?), but maybe a healthy relationship is founded on more than admiration and obedience. Maybe it has to do with space to think and develop independent of one another. That way your time together is that much more honest and devoted.
You don't want to spend all your time looking over your shoulder, rooting through texts, casting doubt, frowning at every emoji of loyalty--just because someone has friends other than you, it doesn't mean they don't care about you or think what you do isn't important. Anyway, what sort of life could you have together? The best you could hope for is a codependence of necessity, not of love or happiness, but of fear and resentment, over your inability to cope without a partner you judge and mistrust. Remember, this is equal parts--you need to do your part, but then you need to step back.
You can't control everything, especially people. The best thing to do would be to take up a hobby--maybe volunteer? Look at your cousins PBS and NPR. And you're way stronger than they are! I mean you've never been much in English or Social Studies, but you're a scientist, man--I mean, a mathematician, a fucking professor! ... I know you have to spend weekends with the Joint Chiefs at the Pentagon, and how can you even sleep, with all the FBI and CIA jamming in the background? I know it's tough now, growing up, but one day I'm confident you will find your way, and you'll see just how bright and beautiful the world can be, even in the midst of all this confusing adult stuff. Who knows? You may even hear from a *secret admirer.* Perhaps then you'll be ready.
When and if you overcome these difficulties you're facing, I hope you will let us all know, open up a little bit--it'll do you a world of good; I know we'd all like to see you out more often with the rest of us.
Be easy.
Yrs Truly,
(NOT the secret admirer)
germansingergirl
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