Dear Sade, @dearsade-blog - Tumblr Blog

Your handcrafted list for you to visit whenever things get foggy.

Beloved, Birthdays are a wishing time for children everywhere, but parents make wishes too as they watch their children grow. And even though you’re older now with children of your own, I still keep making wishes, and my hopes for you this birthday Sadé are the same as long ago. I want you to be happy, and I want you to be healthy. I want you to be proud of who you are and what you do. I want you to have moments when you're overcome with wonder and times when you just can't believe how good God is to you. But the biggest wish I have— the one I make with all my heart— is the simple hope that you will go through each and every day knowing you're a daughter who's not only loved but treasured, and knowing you have two dads who will always feel that way— on earth and in heaven. HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! 🎉🎉💫✨💝✨💫

#Happy Birthday

Things To Know About The Man God Has For You (7 of 7)

7. He Will Want All Of Your Love, Not Just A Piece Of It

A whole man wants a whole woman. Let that marinate for a second....matter of fact let me repeat that for you. A whole man wants a whole woman. You desire a man that is well rounded and well put together, so what do you think he wants? You want a man who can be open, honest, and give you all of his love. Well what do you think he will want? You would love to have a man who doesn't come with a heap load of baggage and issues that will only have a negative impact on a relationship. Well have you checked your bags at the door?

There is a piece of advice that you may have heard before. It says that you should find a man who loves you more than you love him. If you agree with this piece of advice, then I want you to sincerely know that you have lost your ever-loving mind. Ok, maybe that's too harsh, but you have certainly been misled and bamboozled. This is some of the worst advice ever told (no shade to those who have given it). Again, a whole man wants a whole woman. The only reason you would be looking for someone who loves you more, is because you are still damaged from the one who hurt you. The only way you could even attempt to quantify that someone loves you more than you love them, is if you're not truly in love with them at all. So you see, all of this would mean you were not a whole woman, and you would simply be trying to entertain an incomplete relationship.

So again I ask, have you checked your bags at the door? The man God has for you wants every bit of you. He wants to give you his all, and wants the same in return. You say you want that kind of love, but are you truly, and I mean truly, prepared to give it? Are you asking "God Where Is My Boaz?" but in reality love scares you, and "Boaz" can't save you. You may have your walls up so high, that you wouldn't be able to see the man God has for you when he comes into your life. You may be thinking that you will bring those walls down when that man finally comes. Well read this carefully; No man can heal you, no man can make you whole. You complete yourself first, and then you will be able to bring and embrace that whole man into your life.

Now I need to tell you something, and this is very important for you to understand. All of these things I mentioned are needed for you to move forward with a man and have a long lasting, fulfilling, and amazing relationship. However, this does not mean that you may not meet this man or become aware of him before he has truly grown into his position of being with you. You could come across a scenario where it's the right person, but the wrong time. You both could need more time for growth, and God knows when it would be best for you to move forward. This is why it is so important to pray, and ask God before you try to make things happen with any man. You don't need to date his potential, and you don't need to be with him with the belief that he will eventually become the man you need. You seek God's guidance, and you take His directions on how to proceed. This will save you a lot of headaches, and set you up nicely for great success.

What God has for you is something amazing, but that doesn't mean the path to receiving your blessing is going to be an easy one. Yes, you are a great woman. However, there is work you have to put in, and that work starts with you.

#real talk

Things To Know About The Man God Has For You (6 of 7)

6. He Will Love God

There is no perfect man; therefore, there is no perfect man of God. Many may try to present themselves as such, but everyone has their flaws. The reality is God isn't telling you the man he has for you will get it all right, but he will be a man who strives for better. Why? Because he will love God, which in turn will equip him with a great foundation to be able to truly love you.

There is no point in God giving you a man who has no desire to put Him first. That would already show his priorities aren't in order, and it will throw off the entire relationship. He may know who God is, he may be able to quote scripture, or even claim God told him you're his wife. However, if his actions do not show a man with his heart in God, then he isn't the man or isn't ready to be the man to be given the honor of holding on to your heart.

He may be in the church, but that doesn't mean he truly has a relationship with God. Again, it isn't about him being perfect because he will certainly have his flaws. However, there is a difference between a man who loves God but struggles with his flesh versus a man who loves his flesh and struggles with embracing God. One can acknowledge he has weaknesses and humble himself in understanding that he needs to do better. The other will try to validate and excuse his flaws while dismissing the need for any correction. "By their fruit you will recognize them" ~ Matthew 7:16. Not simply the words he speaks. There are men who can scream Hallelujah, but only have intentions to bring you hell.

You may be thinking, "Well what if he just isn't there yet? Maybe I'm supposed to help him get to God?" True, but that can be accomplished as a friend, not while giving him girlfriend/wife benefits. It isn't your job to "save him" through a romantic relationship. God loves you, and he hasn't called you to take on that responsibility in that way. Trust that the process must be handled differently, and that God wouldn't want you to take that next step until this man loves Him enough to be trusted with handling the blessing of being with you.

#real talk

Things To Know About The Man God Has For You (5 of 7)

5. You Will Experience A Genuine Connection With Him

In life you're going to come across a lot of men who catch your eye. You're going to meet and talk to several guys you like. You may even have a few situations where you think you love this man. However, you're not going to experience a deep and genuine connection with all of them. To be honest, a lot of people don't experience a special connection with more than one person; however there are some exceptions to that rule. One way or another, having a genuine connection is a special experience. It doesn't happen with most people. Which is why a special connection is a strong indicator of a man being the one God has for you.

There was a 22 year old woman named Michelle who reached her breaking point. She was frustrated with her lack of a relationship, and with feeling all of the guys she met were only after sex. She was ready to swear off dating and relationships, and to simply focus on her career. Before she took that step, she decided to pray one last time and ask God to finally bless her with the man for her. She felt she was a good woman and deserved to receive a good man.

Two days later she happened to go to a networking event. While she was there she met a handsome, well put together man. He was exactly her style at about 6'1, strong frame, and a very nice smile. They spoke at the event and got along very well. It lead to exchanging numbers and her going home a very happy woman. She was excited and praised God. She felt this just might be "the one”.

Well, time progressed. They went from dating to being in a relationship. During this time she spoke to me about her situation and the potential for it to turn into marriage. I was happy for her, but couldn't help but pick up on the vibe that something wasn't right. I asked her more questions about their relationship. It became clear that though they got along, they didn't really have a genuine and deep connection. They both like what each other brought to the table, but that doesn't mean they truly enjoy sitting and eating at the table together. Think about what I just said. They like all the hype and surface benefits of this relationship. However, take that away, and there isn't much else going on here.

To make a long story short, this relationship eventually failed, and never made it to marriage (thank God). He was not the man God had for her. The proof was in their lack of a genuine connection. Without it a relationship will not have long term success. Without it, you can be assured this is not the man for you. To have a connection, it's like two spirits recognizing its counterpart. It isn't driven by what you see on the surface or what you break down logically in your mind. It will be born from within. It will occur naturally. This is what God has waiting for you. This is something to be mindful of when determining which man to embrace in your life.

#real talk

Things To Know About The Man God Has For You (4 of 7)

4. He Is Looking For A Helpmate, Not A Playmate

Boys always want to play and men are always ready to work. Boys look for playmates, and men desire a helpmate. Do you see where I'm going with this? The man God has for you is looking for something more than someone to play with. He isn't about all the games and child's play. He is a much more focused individual who has a grasp of what he wants to accomplish in his life and in a relationship. Lies, unwillingness to commit, disrespect, and other negative behaviors are not signs of a man who is serious about you. They are signs of a man who is only looking to play with you.

You may be thinking, "maybe he isn't ready to commit now, but if I stay in his life long enough then when he's ready he'll pick me to be with". You see, now he isn't playing you, you're just playing yourself. Sure it's possible, but how many women have you seen try this only to end up empty handed or watch him go be with another woman? Don't worry I'll answer that for you...too dang many, that's how much! It's a flawed approach, and you should not consider it going forward. If you don't want to end up being a man's playmate then you shouldn't play games either.

A man that is God approved to be with you is a man who is trying to work with you. He has built himself up to this point, but now he wants to build greater things with you. The last thing he is trying to do is play you, and he is only interested in making you feel more secure about being with him. The boys will bring you confusion and chaos. The men desire to provide you with clarity and peace. So if necessary, go make yourself a sign that reads, "No boys, no games, just men." Make sure you adhere to it.

#real talk

Things To Know About The Man God Has For You (3 of 7)

3. You Will Not Have To Make Him Into A Man

God has a man for you, not a boy you have to mold into a man. This idea that you need to grow with a man who has yet to first come into his own, is misguided. Yes you can be the source of inspiration and motivation. Yes you can be loving and supportive. Yes you can pour into him in ways that contribute to his growth. HOWEVER! all of this can be done while you are his FRIEND! Like actual friends, not the acting like your his girlfriend, and giving him some booty friends. God didn't call you to be in a relationship with a boy who has yet to become a man.

You run a lot of risks trying to be in a relationship with a man's "potential". In most cases you will find yourself making a huge investment of time and energy, only to end up feeling cheated by the lack of return on your investment. While you think you're building him up, all you're really doing is making things convenient for him. You're providing all of these benefits when he has yet to become qualified for the job. Not only is he not qualified at the moment, but he isn't putting in the extra work, yet you continue to give him all he could ask for. Do you really think this will push him to higher levels, or do you see how someone can easily become content and complacent in this position?

Forget him for a second, let's talk about you. While you're busy trying to "build a man", you're not pouring enough into yourself. Avoid getting so consumed by this guy, that you have forgotten about the things God wants you to focus on in your life. You are a great woman, but there is still work for you to do while becoming and continuing to be the woman God wants you to be. It's not your responsibility to make a boy into a man, unless that boy is your own child. You were not made to be anyone's crutch, you were designed to be a man's partner and helper.

#real talk

Things To Know About The Man God Has For You (2 of 7)

2. He Will Love & Cherish You, Not Mistreat & Disrespect You

I know what you may be thinking. You're thinking this is an obvious one. Or that this is "common sense". You're thinking women should already know this. Well, common sense isn't always so common, and it's really easy for someone to get blinded when engaged in an unhealthy attachment. You or a friend of yours can find yourself in, or be in a situation like this, but you're not seeing it for what it is. What is obvious disrespect to one person, may be viewed differently by another. What is a blatant lack of love and attention to one person, may simply be exactly what their parents had, so it all seems normal to the person who is in it. One person's perceived reality is not another person's perceived reality, but it all still only has one truth at the end of the day.

Everybody makes mistakes, but consistent negative behavior is not a mistake. It is proof of deeper issues that if left unaddressed, will go on to wreak havoc in your life. That principle is true of your issues, but in this case we are talking about the men you choose to romantically entertain in your life. If he isn't willing to work on his issues, then he isn't the man for you. If he isn't willing to hear you out and try to embrace how you feel, then he isn't the man for you. If he is abusive verbally and/or physically, then he is not the man for you. Don't look for ways to give a pass to destructive behavior and to ignore the red flags slapping you in the face. You are not here to be any man's verbal, physical, or emotional punching bag.

You are God's child. You are His daughter. A good father only wants the best for his daughter, and would not ask for you to be with a man who isn't willing to love and cherish you as you deserve. He would want that man to be an extension of him, a man that he knows has only good intentions, and wants to protect your mind, body, and spirit. There is no father greater than God, so you better believe He only wants you to have a great relationship filled with love and positive energy. It's not that He expects perfection, but the man should have a genuine desire to honor God blessing him with you in his life.

#real talk

Things To Know About The Man God Has For You (1 of 7)

1. You Will Be Attracted To Him

You know what they say, "God don't like ugly!" Ok, I know that quote isn't referring to looks, but have you ever sat down and thought about what God thinks about the issue of attraction? Do you really think God is expecting you to be with someone you have no physical attraction to? Are you someone who believes "looks don't matter", and that it's only what's on the inside that counts?

Everyone is beautiful in their own way and in the eyes of God. However, don't be fooled into thinking God is trying to set you up for a romantic relationship that lacks a physical attraction. The reality is that a physical attraction is what takes a relationship from platonic to romantic. Think about it...Do you know what a relationship without physical attraction is? It's called a friendship. When you find two people who get along great and you ask one of them why they aren't trying to be in a relationship with the other, the most popular answer you get is "I'm not attracted to him/her". Attraction is the missing ingredient and God is fully aware of this dynamic.

What's on the inside is what truly counts, but that doesn't mean what's on the outside gets completely dismissed. However, let's not confuse "looks" with "attraction". You see, the man God has for you may come in a package you never expected. He may not have the "looks" that you feel you want in a man. He may not be as tall as you dream about, he may have a different build, and a completely different style. The possibilities are wide open, but what he will have is the fact that you are "attracted" to him. Despite what a person's preferences may be, everyone has come across people that fell outside that profile, yet they still found themselves attracted to that person. You shouldn't get so stuck on a certain look, but nobody should expect you to bypass a lack of attraction just for the sake of being with someone who is a "good guy". It's typically a setup for disaster, and that isn't what God wants for you.

But wait, looks will fade, so isn't it shallow to embrace superficial desires? NO! Again, looks is one thing, attraction is another. There are plenty of elderly couples who don't look like what they did when they were younger, but do not get it twisted, because they can still be ATTRACTED to their partner. They still have that twinkle in their eye, and they still see beauty when they look at each other. There is a big difference between naturally aging, and letting yourself go. Many who have let themselves go have seen attraction fade, but many who have gracefully aged have not had to struggle the same.

Ultimately God wants to be glorified in all that he blesses you with. The reality is that if He only gave you a good guy that you're not attracted to, then the glory would fall short. Why? Because you wouldn't be as excited and into it. Have you seen a woman who is with a man she isn't attracted to? If you have, then I'm sure you have noticed her lack of energy, excitement, and desire with that man. That is not ideal, and God only wants the best for you. The man God has for you may not come in the package you expected, but he will be able to provide you with exactly what you needed. This includes love AND attraction.

#real talk

Because so many wonderful things are gathered so beautifully in you. Happy Mother’s Day Beloved!

#happy mothers day #happymothersday #motherhood #mothersday #mothers day #mamahood

A Living List of Things We Can Do Together in NYC

Get rush tickets for a popular Broadway show

Take in the gorgeous views of Manhattan from the Brooklyn Heights Promenade

Walk the Brooklyn Bridge at sunrise

Take a graffiti walking tour in the Bronx

Grab a spot in Bryant Park for a film screening

Brooklyn Flea Market - part vintage bazaar, part hipster hang, part charming town square, and part food bonanza

See a free summer concert at Celebrate Brooklyn!

Walk the full length of Houston Street from the Hudson River to the East River

Appreciate live jazz at the Village Vanguard

Welcome spring with the cherry blossoms at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden

Get our chill on at the Ace Hotel

Join the crowds at a massive concert in Central Park

Find a bargain $1 book or a signed/rare edition classic on Strand Book Store’s shelves

Stroll the High Line - running from Gansevoort Street in the Meatpacking District (at the Whitney Museum of Art) to West 34th St

Spend the first Saturday night of the month at Brooklyn Museum

Picnic in Sheep Meadow in Central Park

Enjoy grilled corn, Cuban sandwiches, and smoothies from an eco-friendly bike-powers blender at Habana Outpost, BK.

Ride a bike along the Hudson River Park

Walk around the cobbled streets of DUMBO and enjoy the amazing views of the Brooklyn and Manhattan bridges, from underneath.

Do you have any other additional suggestions? What else would you add to this list?

#nyc #newyork

On my way to see Taylor McFerrin perform tonight in Williamsburg, BK. Give this track a listen and let me know what you think. This is my favorite track on his latest album, Early Riser featuring Emily King.

#alex elle #quotes #self love #worthy

Ten of the apartments will be reserved for New Yorkers who make less than 40% of the AMI, or $36,240 for a family of four.

One of Brooklyn’s newest residential buildings has opened a lottery registration for its affordable units through the city’s NYC Housing Connect portral.

The lottery is for 181 below market-rate units at 461 Dean St., a 32-story modular tower adjacent to the Barclays Center that is expected to open this fall.

The other 100 affordable units will be designated for those making less than the area median income, as low as $20,675 per year. The window for applying to the 461 Dean St. lottery is open for 60 days (since April 26th) and more affordable housing lotteries are slated to open as development rolls out across Pacific Park.

Get it? Got it? Good.

#health is wealth

#gym #encouragement

How to Treat Anemia and Iron Deficiency Naturally

Adjust your diet. For borderline problems you can start by increasing the green leafy vegetables in your diet, also red cabbage, parsley (yes, it’s edible), beets, alfalfa, watercress, wheat grass, spinach, vegetable tops, cucumbers, tomato juice, fish, coconuts, eggs, black strap molasses, black cherry and blackberry juice are all high in iron.

Consider supplementation. If your level of iron is known to be low, most likely you’ll need an iron supplement. Iron in the form of ferrous fumarate seems to work best. Make sure your iron supplement contains folic acid (folate). A deficiency in folic acid presents the same symptom picture as anemia. High quality supplements will also contain B12. Check the label for the amount of "elemental" iron, not the total iron content. Elemental (iron in the salt form) is the only type we can absorb. One bottle that advertises 200 mg of iron may, by closer observation, have only 10 mg of elemental iron. If the label doesn’t list the elemental iron, you can always check to see what percent of the RDA it furnishes. The RDA is 8 mg per day for all men and for women over the age of 51, and 18 mg per day for women under the age of 51 (or who have yet to go through menopause).

Take digestive enzymes. To maximize the benefit of an iron supplement, you may need a digestive enzyme. You can almost bet on needing one if you have problems with calcium or protein digestion.

Avoid contraindications with foods. Don’t take iron at the same time you take vitamin E or with eggs—both will reduce your absorption capabilities. Coffee and tea also interfere with iron assimilation. On the other side of the coin, citrus juice and vitamin C can increase absorption rates tremendously.

Finally, know that iron can be constipating to some people. If you’re bothered with this, a good stool softener (not laxative) will help. Some iron supplements now contain softeners.

#anemia #holistic medicine #diet #supplements #supplementation #iron #iron supplement #digestive enzymes #iron assimilation

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Dear Sade,