letters to you.

[dearwhc]

dear whc,

Once again I’ve slacked on writing!! Who could’ve thought LOL. It’s September 15th. We’ve been living (surviving each other) together for a year now, and as of today, we get married in ONE week! I genuinely can’t believe we’ve gone from being two awkward people getting to know each other to being almost husband and wife. I’m so excited for this day and spending the rest of our lives together. I can’t really put into words what it means to be able to marry you. I’ve dreamed for years about who I’d marry, and I truly could not have had someone more attuned to me had I been hand picked myself! I hope we can both soak in this last week of engagement and enjoy every single moment of the wedding and honeymoon. I just love ya!

[dearwhc]

dear whc,

When I started this I had the intention of writing in it all the time. As we both know I’m bad at committing to things like that haha

We’ve been living together for two months now and I’ve gotta say... it still feels like we’re paying house! But thats alright. I love playing house with you. We just got back from Raleigh and I swear every time we go down there, especially during the winter/fall months, I never want to leave! Just brings back all the great memories from when we first met and I’m the most nostalgic person we know so of course that makes me emotional. That’s part of the reason why I love this time of year so much. It brings me back to the very beginning of our relationship. What great times those were. Hard to believe we’re planning a WEDDING now! I’m going to attempt to write more now but it seems like the closer the wedding gets the less I do of anything that isn’t planning related. Hell this is part of one of my gifts to you and I still can’t manage to be on top of it.

Love you most in the world, my best bly.

[dearwhc]

dear whc,

I’m OFFICIALLY moving in with you in ~10 days. We have wanted this for so long and oh my god I’m just so excited and scared and EXCITED. Hopefully we won’t kill each other hahah. I just love you so much I’m so incredibly excited to take this next step. Ahhhhhh, I can’t wait for the next few days. I’m going to be pretty sad to leave my apartment so close to work and downtown, but gah. Living with the love of my life. Can’t get better than that! I love you <3 

[because-the-sun-also-rises]

i love talking to will on skype, its so much easier than talking on just the phone and definitely better than texting. he’s so sweet and perfect and i literally do not know how i’ve been so lucky to have this person just fall out of the sky and into my lap. he is so wonderful and i’m absolutely not sorry that i can’t shut up about him ever.

[dearwhc]

Feb 9. 2014

[because-the-sun-also-rises]

i know i sound like such a whiney baby when i rant like this but i miss will so much. i can’t tell you how many times i’ve been tempted to up and leave raleigh one day, hop on i40 until i reach asheville, and show up at biltmore winery like i own the place and sweep him off his feet and out for the day.

i just miss him and sometimes talking on the phone just makes me miss him more. i’m not sorry about complaining either.

[dearwhc]

Jan 27. 2014

[because-the-sun-also-rises]

we’re arguing over text about something stupid that had to do with music and at the end he says his piece and adds on “ annnnnnndd you’re beautiful. just so you know” totally out of the blue. how did i get so lucky with this boy.

[dearwhc]

Jan 28, 2014

[because-the-sun-also-rises]

it was our first morning together on your last trip here. i woke up out of a peaceful slumber to find that it was raining, with bit of low rolling thunder. the wonderful soft early summer morning kind that wakes you up gently and lulls you back to sleep. my first thought was of you and how well my head fits in the space below your shoulder. you stirred ever so slightly; few things are more blissful than how warm and comfortable i was in that moment. i looked up at you and you looked back down at me with your sleepy grin. sometimes i think i could look at you forever. you kissed my forehead. and then my nose. and we let the soft thunder take us back to our dreams. when i think of my favorite moments with you, that little one sticks with me the most. 

[dearwhc]

March 10, 2014. I miss this.

[because-the-sun-also-rises]

good night. i really hope that i dream about you.

-my fucking actual boyfriend to me. just now. i’m typing this from a puddle. (via because-the-sun-also-rises)

[because-the-sun-also-rises]

its okay, you don’t have to say it. you love me. i know. you say it with your actions, and your face, and the way you put your hand on my back walking through a crowd, and the way you squeeze my arm when something exciting happens and when you laugh at my cheesy jokes even though you’ve been fake laughing with your customers all day and the way you empathize with anything i’m feeling and when you compliment me and when you’re so overcome with affection that all you can manage is a “hey babe? i like you.” i know. you love me.

[dearwhc]

I wrote this over 3 years ago. And I’m just so glad we’ve come this far. I had an idea, but who could have known we’d be getting MARRIED!

[dearwhc]

dear whc,

Laying next to you fast asleep on a Tuesday night. Our engagement party is this Saturday and it’s still so incredibly weird to think we’re finally planning a wedding! I was just thinking back to when we first met and how I really just wanted you to get out of my house the next morning but you had to be weird and awkward enough for me to begrudgingly give you my number. I’m so fucking glad I did. It’s weird to remember the various guys I had crushes on and occasionally hung out with in college and you just came out of nowhere and pretty much turned my world upside down. It’s always an adventure with you. I just can’t fathom what my life would be like if you didn’t tag along to that party. Gonna have to get Jill/Taylor/Paige to all make a speech at the wedding just to claim the glory of getting us together (cause it’s fucking glorious). I just love you so much! What in the world would I do without my bly.

[dearwhc]

dear whc,

WOW I really wish I had the time to write here more often. Life gets a bit crazy as you know. But the biggest change in the last few months is that WE. ARE. FINALLY. ENGAGED!!!! Holy shittoli. I am so incredibly excited to get to marry you. I mean I think I always knew that I would. Or at least I knew pretty early on but wow, to have it official is just nuts! I don’t know how I could possibly love you any more but somehow I do day after day. I realize now that I also missed our THREE YEAR ANNIVERSARY! What! Gahd I’m so bad at writing down anything anymore. As of December 5th we’ve known each other for 3 years, and well I pretty much consider the 19th the day we really officially decided to be the only one for each other. I mean who in their right mind decides to say “yep, just met you but I’m about to move back to my hometown 4 hours away and I’d love to obsess over you from afar and constatly be in touch!” well apparently we do. And I’m eternally grateful you gave me that chance <3. But who could forget the day you F I N A L L Y asked me to be your girlfriend?! I’d been waiting for so long and naturally you kept me waiting even longer. “Would it be okay if I started calling you my girlfriend?” I used to think I needed glitz and drama and heartfelt sincerity until I realized that heartfelt sincerity doesn’t always come in glitzy and dramatic packages. Sometimes its just you sitting in the lap of someone you can’t get enough of, in the most comfortable green papasan chair, quietly and carefully discussing your feelings, and deciding to make the stumbling mess of fun you’ve been having into something official. Man. I am so incredibly lucky and blessed to be able to spend my days with you. My sweetest, most considerate and caring and loving every single inch and flaw of me, best in the entire world, WHC. Truly there is nothing better in the world than being the one who gets to call you mine. I absolutely cannot wait to marry you. I love you, the most. 

[dearwhc]

dear whc,

I really thought I’d have so much time to write to you. But wow is life crazy! And for both of us. I’m so happy I get to see you daily and that we’re only 20 minutes apart at most. I love being in your beautiful city and living with you in these mountains. I’m so excited for our future.

We bought the engagement ring today (!!!!!!!) and I could scream! I wish I could gush to everyone I know, but I’ll have to wait for that I know. I feel so comfortable knowing that we are going through this process together. I honestly don’t know how we would have it any other way; this is just us. You make me the happiest in the whole world. I’m so excited for what’s to come!

Love you most in the world.

PS- Happy 2 years and 9 months!

[dearwhc]

Dear whc,

Life is so crazy. But I love nothing more than doing this life with you. I’ve been in heaven being able to see you every day, even if its just for a moment. I just love you more and more every day. We’ve been talking a little bit more seriously about getting engaged and I get the biggest butterflies every time it comes up. Thinking about you just makes me the happiest and being with you is even better. I wish I could put into words how much I love you, but I’ll just tell you over and over and over again. You are the best person I know. 

PS- I’ll try to be better about writing here.

[dearwhc]

Dear whc,

It's hard to believe how much life has taken off since I wrote last. I can't believe I've found a JOB in this city and we've been here together for a month and a half now. It's been such an adjustment. But I've realized exactly how much I love having you down the street now that I do. It's still not enough time but it's such a nice change from once every few weeks. I love you so much. Every time I think about you I just feel so warm inside it makes me want to squeeze you. I'm so excited about our future together. I love you most.

[dearwhc]

dear whc,

Timehop is interesting. I get to see all the things we’ve done in the past 2+ years. But I also have to see the embarrassing things that I said or posted back when I was dating Brandon. I hate that I still get such strong (negative) feelings when he comes up but I just can’t help it. I resent him so much. But he does make me that much more thankful for you. I mean looking back, I absolutely hated who I was when I was dating him. I was a jealous, mean, and petty person. He brought out the absolute worst in me and I’ll never forgive myself for dating him that long. He treated me so badly, but it was so subtle that not even I knew I was being treated badly. Maybe he didn’t either. Regardless I was the way I was because of the way he made me feel so inferior and like I was never good enough. I feel so absolutely blessed and thankful to have a real live angel in my life with you. Seriously I could not have come up with a better partner for myself had I been given the divine power to do so. Don’t get me wrong If I had it my way you wouldn’t have eczema or other health issues that inconvenience you, but you get what i mean (: 

I love you so much. You complete me in all the ways that I was not whole, and I know that I do the same for you. I feel more secure than I ever have, even though the rest of my life is very up in the air at this point. I feel at home with you. In the same way that you give me such security, I know that I’ve helped you to open up as well. The you that is now, is hugely different from the you that was. I’m so glad we can grow together like this. I could not be any more lucky that I am with you. I love you so much. Never forget that.

[dearwhc]

dear whc,

Today has been a pretty shit day. I decided last night when we were at the Tourists game that I would come home today. I mean I’m glad I did. I really missed home and my parents and my cats. But I miss you so so so much. After finding out that I didn’t get the “perfect” job that I wanted more than anything, all I want to do is lay in bed with you and cry about it. I know we’ve been together pretty much non-stop for a few weeks now but even being away from you for a day is tough. Long distance relationships must do that to people... Once you’re finally together you never want to be apart again. I definitely don’t want to be apart from you. I can’t wait until I can FINALLY get a job so we don’t have to be apart. I miss you. I love you.

[dearwhc]

dear whc,

So your prom date from your senior year got engaged over the weekend. She had only been dating her boyfriend since September I think, but I swear I think I just knew that was going to happen soon. BUT UGH I was also hoping that we could be engaged first... I know ~it’s not a race~ but I’m just ready. I also feel stupid because I am hardly an adult yet and I feel like I might look stupid and silly if I got engaged before I could even find a real job. But that’s a whole other story/frustration of mine.

I was afraid when I moved here that we might begin to hate each other. Which is why I wanted to have my own place rather than move in with you. But even with me staying at your house for the past almost two months, I still feel like I could stay forever and not get sick of you. Granted I’m still going to get my own place (and I could NEVER live with your annoying roommate and his annoying girlfriend who’s here 24/7 when she has her own place but again that’s another story), but you know what I mean. Anyways this is becoming more rambly than I wanted it since I’m procrastinating going to the gym, ugh. But I love you so much. You’re the absolute love of my life.