We're on a new platform with a totally different audience...we have to prove ourselves all over again...convince a totally new group of people to think we're funny and worth your attention....so allow me to drop some of my "A" material....the funniest thing I got.......here goes.......
jeef berky
Whether it's intentional or not, CRK writers have this weird habit of having the narrative validate their characters' unhealthy mindsets
Lily who was too ready to sacrifice herself and thought she deserved/needed to die in order to make up for her mistakes only for her to actually sacrifice herself for the happy ending as "character development"
Mystic Flour who thought that everything including her own life was meaningless after her power was taken advantage of by countless people finally "returns to flour" (in other words, dies)
Eternal Sugar who was so scared of the world outside of her garden to the point of borderline kidnapping people so they can be "happy" and "safe" with her gets set on fire, betrayed, and killed when she does finally step outside
Pure Vanilla who hated himself and thought he was a useless king who didn't deserve his title due to a mistake made during a traumatic event abdicates to show the audience his "humility" (despite the narrative never showing us that inequality was even a problem in his kingdom during his reign)
Burning Spice who sought out someone/something that could destroy him due to pure boredom with the repetition of the cycle of change actually gets destroyed (killed)
Silent Salt who thought that he deserved only the worst for losing his virtue and overall lost faith in cookiekind kills himself so his souljam wouldn't be exploited
"Who needs the goddess's power if I use her son's femur? Born from... her power?"
This perfect self-awareness just made me remember Miklan's mother was Adrestian !
I smell Susan's working extra time here, but nonetheless, "if only Sylvain didn't have a crest either, then I wouldn't have been forced to try to kill him :("
Or is Miklan regretting that if Sylvain had no crust, he could be the big brother and heir and abuse him, but with the correct status this time?
Miklan pissing on chivalry is a taken, given how his mother was Adrestian! Maybe she told him bedtime stories about how stupid Matthias' values were?
"They protect their people, what a bunch of fools!"
"Those who acknowledged my strength", he means the women he had a hotpot with, or the victims of his pillages and banditry? Or his fellow bandits?
It reminds me of something...
When humanity stands strong and people reach out for each other...
there's no need for gods (and especially not the vessel of the goddess who is the only reason why I succeed in this route, or uncle's experiments using the goddess' blood on me to make me powerful enough to fight against the goddess' daughter!).
Miklan bragging about his own strength and dissing crusts and Sothis when he stole the remains of Sothis' child to fight is peak Adrestia Standard, dare I say, double headed eagle standard.
And thus a new headcanon was born : Miklan's maternal's grandmother was an unacknowledged bastard from the Imperial family, thus making Miklan distantly related to the Hresvelgs!
Otherwise, how can you explain this double headed eagle standard of self-awareness?
If the crust system never existed, he would have been a good and decent guy, we swear! Like, he wouldn't take people's castles for fun! Nope!
"I don't care about the goddess or crests or what not, I just want to grab the shiny weapon made from the Goddess' kin remains! Because it's part of my own strength!"
:')
Can you imagine how overjoyed our Supreme Leader would have been to realise one of her distant relatives was alive and not subjected to Uncle and Solon's scientific projects?
If only they could have talked to each other :(
I wonder what kind of person just came to "laugh" at him for not having a crust.
And we're still back with the sad uwus about him being disinherited for lack of crust, and I get how Fodlan and inheritance laws is a bit wonky on that level - but are we really supposed to cry because primogeniture isn't a thing?
Miklan could still be a noble, a knight even, like Rufus, Gilbert, fuck, even Holst or Ingrid's older brothers... but no, he cannot sit in Daddy's chair, so he throws a tantrum, tries to kill his younger brother (at least Rufus managed to do it!) and... that's it?
Forget primogeniture, he tries to kill the named heir - who had done nothing but exist at this point.
At least Lundgren had the FE7 kickass boss battle music going on for him.
Kuddos though for adding the "maybe I panicked and acted harshly" tiny breadcrumbs of self reflection - because Miklan is half Faerghan I guess - which, even if Nopes didn't frame it like this, might have justified why things went differently in this game than in Houses, but still "I acted harshly" dude, you tried to kill your younger brother multiple times. You can pretend to have acted on emotion and harshly and "it was an accident I didn't mean it" the first time, but afterwards? To the point kid!grid noticed Sylvain's injuries?
"I proved what I could do as my Father's son" wow sure I'm guess everyone praised Matthias when his eldest son became a bandit and started to rape and pillage the people he swore to protect, on top of alienating the support of the Church - which is Faerghus' only ally in the troubled times Rufus put them all in.
GG Miklan, I'm sure daddy would be proud of you!
Huge "I ditched her first, she didn't ditch me!!!" feeling with this one.
But this actually raises the question of Matthias and Sylvain's mom not actually kicking Miklan out earlier, when the first attempts on Sylvain's life started.
"Boys will be boys!"
If we're supposed to buy the "Sylvain is precious because he has a crest", I'd suppose Matthias would want to protect him from, uh, fratricide? But what, are we supposed to believe Kid!grid was more perceptive than Margrave Gautier, or Matthias didn't kick his son away because of his lingering feelings for his first wife and his affection for Miklan, even if it came at the cost of Sylvain's physical integrity?
This always made me raise a brow, especially with Nopes adding how Sylvain's mom always saw Miklan as her son and tried to treat him as much.
The Miklan FEH just gave us could be a peak into what kind of characterisation IS (and KT) could have given to the Elites, we already have Seteth saying one of them had an incurable disease - that was cured with fresh nabatean liver - but imagine Miklan knowing what Flayn is.
Guy was willing to slaughter his kid brother out of jealousy, and became a bandit out of spite and rage.
Would he... miss this opportunity to get a crest and a new relic?
It's not the lance or the world or "society" or Felix's kitten who rejected him, Miklan rejected his family and his duty first.
He could have been a Holst, or a Glenn, or acted like Ingrid's brothers.
But no, he prefered to act like Lundgren or Rufus (from his own verse) and ends up... like them as a result.
All things considered, those lines made me frown and grit my teeth a bit at some of his lines, before remembering he's half Adrestian - even with the breadcrumb of self reflection to explain why he's different in Nopes.
It's still Fodlan writing though : characters have no agency and will blame "society" or "crusts" or fried bananas to justify why they're killing or attacking people, and coupled with FEH's writing being heavy on flanderization, we can't expect too much anyways.
What is this nonsense? Oh!! This is not FByleth, the true canon leth, and she has not been able to reach for her messiah's hand, therefore this Professor does not realize war can bring True Peace!!!
It makes as much sense as Muarim's potion, so let's just assume Tibarn is angry because bad hair day.
"led him to his downfall"
Are we sure it's not his own jealousy and greed and kinslaying tendencies ?
Y'know, seeing it written like this really makes me wonder if some part of Rhea or the nabs weren't particularly vindicative at Miklan : bro was willing to kill and now became a bandit seeking power at "any cost".
Does this remind you of someone ? A group of people ?
As much as I think his nopes addition could have been better integrated, it showed that Miklan, if he takes responsability for what he did and thus doesn't steal the remains of Gun-fu sis, can be something else than an expy of Elite Gautier or Nemesis himself.
"She's so evil taking control of her vessel to protect him !!!"
This is a gun we’re talking about. The projectile is fired using an explosion, not by compressed air of a toy gun or the elastic forces of a sling shot. People would be lucky if they only lost their finger.
The finger won’t block it - the shaft is only there for keeping the bullet straight, all the propulsion happens behind the bullet. The bullet would rip through the finger, not that many would actually fit without the victim being a child, and beyond.
Why the dingleknockers would you even consider sticking your finger in the barrel of a loaded gun?? the amount of force propelling the bullet at that close of range would shatter the finger at the very least; this is a petition for 1,000,000 people to loose the use of their hands. If a bullet explodes the back of a persons skull when they shoot it in their mouth it sure as hell will explode a finger.
You guy who think the bullet would stop at the finger have never shot a gun and can volunteer to it their fingers in the barrel of my 9 mil and I’ll I’ll the trigger and see if it will stop the bullet. Dumdasses
These fuckwits are back again? How’s it going, Nine Finger Nasty? About to turn into an Eight Finger Egghead?
@meatswitch @raptorific this is a US based site. US Americans are known for two things- obsession with guns and incredible stupidity. Had this been anyone else, I’d say they’re trying to fuck with us. But with US Americans, about 70% of them are dead serious about mangling their hands trying to stop a bullet.
….Mythbusters WELDED A METAL SPIKE into the barrel of a gun to obstruct it, something heaps stronger than a human finger (and sealed the barrel better with the filler metal used to fuse the metal spike into place and prevent the explosive gases from escaping) but even that didn’t stop the bullet from doing damage.
theartofmadeline
janainaart
vaporwave
kianamaiart
