I can only hope that you are okay, and that life is well for you.
Hello! I’m not dead, so don’t worry about me. Life has unfortunately been very busy since i last posted. I still get notifications of people liking my stories, so I have decided to keep them up. Alongside that, I have noticed that the Mouthwashing fandom did leave for some time, but around August i’ve seen people coming back and starting to enjoy it again. I love seeing people still talking about it. I know I said I would be back, but unfortunately that will not be the case.
I appreciate you so much for checking on me, and I promise I am well, but my page will not be updated. I won’t go into detail, but mental health has always been tough for me to maintain. It’s been a rough battle but I am getting through it, so don’t worry! I started school again in August, so my schedule has also been pretty busy lol.
Again I am very happy people are still appreciating my work and I will never get rid of my page due to that, but I will not update it either. Thank you for your understanding, and thank you for checking up on me. <3
You doing alright? You haven’t posted anything in a while. Eugghhh I hate saying that—I didn’t mean it as in “why haven’t you posted yet 😡😡” I meant it as in concern because we haven’t heard from you for quite some time. If that makes sense
thank you for checking up on me!!
i’m so sorry i haven’t been posting, i’ve just been focusing on school and balancing personal struggles. i deeply apologize, and i promise in the near future i will be coming back, hopefully in the next couple weeks.
i was honestly thinking of deleting this page as a whole, but i knew you all enjoyed my content so i’ve decided against that. i wouldn’t want it to go to waste, especially if you all loved it.
with that being said, please keep the requests coming. i have a few to write, but it’s nothing that i’m struggling with as of right now. i still write for mouthwashing, and i still write for the five crew members!
i hope you all had an amazing Christmas(if you celebrate), and a wonderful new year! proud to say we finally made it to 2025. <3
- honestly, I don’t see her getting jealous that easily
- like, “oh you’re talking to them? cool!” and moves on with her day
- although, there has been some situations in the past where she’s gotten jealous. But you instantly made it up to her with cuddles and kisses
- in those few times she’s gotten jealous, she wouldn’t tell you what was wrong, even if it was obvious she wasn’t okay
- you’d have to beg her to tell you, otherwise she wouldn’t say anything
- she’s 100% the type to hold in what she’s feeling until she cracks
- once you eventually do get her to tell you, she’s apologizing over and over until you have to forgive her
- cuddle sessions afterwards
- (possibly making out included)
- she does easily overthink though
- not usually, so you barely have to worry about it, but it still happens
- like if you’re getting a little too close to that person, she’s already fidgeting with her hands with her mind swollen with thoughts you wouldn’t dare to do
- again, she wouldn’t tell you until you repeatedly ask her what’s wrong
- she explains how she’s feeling like she’s losing you, which obviously breaks your heart
- someone comfort this poor girl
———
authors note
these were such cute yet sad hc’s to write. i apologize there’s lack of text, though. i couldn’t come up with anything for this one!
Seeing your loved one’s face sliced by the hands of yourself made you sick. You felt saliva gargle in your throat, triggering you to puke on the ground, droplets falling onto your jumper.
You were lucky enough to turn your body, leaning down before letting out the gruesome sound, followed by the liquid. You gasped, staring at the scene in shock. Tears flooded your eyes, rolling down your cheeks and onto the pile of puke.
Your breathing quickened, the tears swallowing your vision. Everything was blurry. You regretted what you had done, but it was necessary. He needed to go, otherwise he would’ve just suffered. Just like Curly.
Your eyes widen more, remembering the man in bandages who laid in the medical room. You instantly gained the strength to stand, ignoring the calls of Swansea behind you.
You ran to the room, your legs shaking as you walked inside. You lifted your hand, hiding the poor black haired woman from your view, settling your eyes on Curly. There he sat, his eye right on you.
Stepping over Anya, you placed your free hand on the side of the medical bed, staring down on him. You looked crazy. Sweat pooling over your forehead, hair matted and sticking out of place. Not to mention the tears, eyes widened and all.
You didn’t say anything, instead lifting the bandaged man in your arms. Although he was only flesh and bones, his body weight was still fairly heavy. You struggled to carry him, grunting as you stepped out of the room.
You needed to get Curly out of there and fast. You couldn’t let Jimmy get to him, knowing what he was capable of. You were too dumb to realize it before. It only took a friend and lover to figure everything out.
As you walked, you stared ahead of you, feeling Curly’s eye watch your every move. “It’s going to be okay.” You repeat to yourself, eyes darting around the hallway. You couldn’t let the brunette man know where you were.
Suddenly, you paused. You glanced down at Curly before grinning, relief washing over your features. “W-..Wait here.” You muttered, setting him down. His body laid flat on the hard metal ground, pain itching his body.
You ran back into the medical room, lowering your body to the bed before pulling out a briefcase. Your memory was a bit faded, but you could still recall the code to get inside.
You accidentally stumbled upon Anya in the medical room one day, who slid a briefcase into a little compartment in the bed. You wouldn’t let her leave until she would tell you the code, complaining that you may need it for safety.
In an instant, you rolled the correct numbers on the lock, hearing a click of the case before it slightly opened the latch. You fully open it to see the same gun that the woman had told you about.
After grabbing the weapon and making sure it was loaded, you ran back towards Curly, seeing him in the same position as before. Your grin softened, shoving the gun into your back pocket before picking up the man once again.
Making your way through the halls, you ended up finding the brunette you really didn’t want to see in the halls beside utility. He held Swansea’s axe in his hand, glaring at you from the other side of the hallway.
You couldn’t take out the gun without dropping Curly first. And you certainly didn’t want to risk his life. So, you stood still, frozen in fear and hesitation. You were almost to the Cryostasis pods. Why did he have to come out now..?
You opened your mouth to speak, but Jimmy cut you off with a chuckle. “Are you that fucking stupid?” His voice was quiet, but you could still hear him clearly. His tone was harsh, almost as an attempt to make you scared.
And it worked a little too well. Almost immediately, you forgot all your fears and held Curly up with one arm, his unbalanced legs barely touching the ground. Your arm wrapped over his chest, holding his upper body.
You grab the gun out of your back pocket, pointing it at the brunette. Yet, he didn’t drop his act. In fact, he got closer, taking light steps towards your figure.
“Go away!” You shout, backing away from the manYou choked back a sob, not ready to kill another person in the span of under a day. “I said go away!” You scream once again. Curly watched the scene in front of him, not know what to think.
Your poor, pathetic self couldn’t shoot the damn guy, yet that same guy was ready to axe your head off with no hesitation. If he could, he would’ve just taken that gun from your hand and shoot him himself.
But, that was only if he still had arms. He could’ve protected you, helping you get away from this whole thing. But that’s not how this story goes. Before his mind could go any further, your voice pulled him out.
“Please, just go!” You shout at the man who now stood a few feet away from you. Suddenly, you felt a slight breeze hit your shoulder. You choked back a sob, taking your eyes off Jimmy and adverting them to the side, wondering what hit you.
You heard an older man’s voice in your right ear, being muffled for a moment before shouting at you. You recognized that voice as Swansea’s.
“Shoot that bastard!” He would cry. “C’mon, just do it!” As he plead with you, your mind suddenly went blank. You couldn’t focus on anything but his voice.
Your breathing became faster, the weapon shaking in your hand, your palm getting sweaty from the pressure. You stepped back once more, finally hitting the metal wall behind you. As the voice of Swansea would continue, you finally pulled the trigger.
Jimmy fell back, the bullet landing in between his eyes. You stood there, staring at him as blood oozed out of his head. You fought the urge to puke once again, glancing down at Curly.
The voice of Swansea finally stopped, your mind becoming fuzzy. Your vision became a blur.
“It’s okay. You’re okay.” You whisper, lowering yourself to the ground, knees to the floor. You cradled his head to your chest, wrapping your arms around his fleshed body. Relief washed through your veins, realizing the man who rose up for hell was finally gone.
He was on the ground, a bullet in his head. He was dead. You were free, but not for long. You didn’t have any food left, not even mouthwash. You sighed, taking one last glance at Curly before lifting him up into your arms.
You step around the body of Jimmy, not bearing a single eye down towards him. You turn to walk into the utility room, ready to end this nightmare. You groan, struggling to open the Cryostasis pod’s door. After a few seconds, you finally got it open.
You widen it with your foot before setting the wounded man in the compartment, leaning forward to do so. You unwrap your arms from him, staring into his one eye as you shut the door. You then turn to the small screen to the side, hesitating before pressing the freeze button.
You heard muffled cries from Curly, causing you to lift your head to him. You watch as the window becomes blurry, his figure fading from your vision. The cries suddenly stop, making you aware that he was gone.
Your hands formed fists before you left the utility room, guilt spreading in your blood like jelly. Your legs shook as you walked back into the lounge area, the air heavy.
The people you cared about were gone. You murdered one of them, the other gone on their own. The monster who started this paid for it, but the guilt couldn’t just be washed away with water.
Tears flooded for eyes for what seems to be the tenth time that day as you dropped to the ground, curling in on yourself. You wrap your arms around yourself, forehead hitting the floor.
Opening your mouth, you screamed. It was raspy, full of emotion. It hurt, but you couldn’t stop. You felt that familiar touch on your shoulder, causing you to scream louder, this time with words.
“No, don’t touch me!” You cried, attempting to shake the hand off. But it wouldn’t let go. You continued to cry, your body trembling from the weight of the hand. “Stop it, go away!” But it wouldn’t. It felt so real.. like someone was really behind you.
The weight of the hand became heavier as if it was trying to cause you pain. You shook your head, tightly shutting your eyes. “It’s okay.” Someone spoke in your ear, attempting to ease your mind.
You recognized that voice as soon as your ears registered it. You opened your eyes, glancing towards the side where the voice came from. There, you saw it. A brunette haired man who had an axe through his face. The same brunette who held a special connection to you.
You stared in shock for a few moments, trying to process what was happening. “Daisuke..?” You whisper, releasing your tight hold on yourself. Your fingers swept the metal ground, cold as ice. Your boyfriend only grinned, causing you to instantly embrace him.
As soon as you did so, he disappeared. Your eyes widened, staring at your hands in disbelief as they sat in your lap. You turned your head back towards the real Daisuke’s body, seeing it still lie on the floor.
“No..” You muttered, your body turning around before you crawl towards him. After a few moments, you sat in front of him, staring at his axe’d face. This time, you were too exhausted to puke or even cry.
You just stared, your breath at a normal pace for the first time in ages. You felt your body become weaker due to starvation. You haven’t drunken the mouthwash for a while now, making your stomach rumble, begging for something.
You glanced over his figure, disgust flowing through your body. You knew what you were about to do. He was dead. He wouldn’t feel it. He’d probably want you to eat him if it meant for your survival. You took a deep breath in before leaning over his forearm.
You held it in your hands, fingers grazing his skin. You opened your mouth before lowering your teeth, biting into his flesh. You softly groaned, closing your eyes. You tried to imagine his skin as meat. After all, it technically is.
But it wouldn’t work. You pulled on his skin, taking a small chunk of it off. You chew, ignoring the way your stomach twisted. After a few seconds you finally swallow, the taste of metal sitting on your tongue.
You lifted your head, staring at the corner of the ceiling. Red liquid spilt out of your mouth, dribbling down your chin. You let out a soft giggle, a bit embarrassed as if the crew was actually beside you, watching you eat Daisuke’s skin.
“I-..I’m sorry.” You chuckle, leaning your upper body on your boyfriend. Your forehead rests on his chest, wishing that his heartbeat was still there. “I don’t know what I just did, but ‘m sorry..” You stumble on your words like a drunk person.
“I’m so, so.. sorry, my sweet b-..” Cutting yourself off, you let out a small whine. You weren’t yourself. This wasn’t supposed to happen.
Your brows turn upwards, tears falling down your cheeks, replacing the dried ones. They drop onto Daisuke’s clothed chest as you snuffle, tightening your grip on his arm. “What the fuck did I do..?!”
Cries spill out from your mouth, gradually getting louder as time passes on. Your body slowly shuts down, feeling the coldness of Daisuke’s arm in the grasp of your fingers. Blood spills out of your mouth, dripping onto his chest.
Your cries slowly calm, feeling the deprivation of sleep take a toll on you. One hand let go of his arm, wrapping your own around his torso. Your breath settled, eyes finally shutting after fighting to stay open for too long.
“I’m sorry..”
______
Those were the last words uttered from your mouth. The beating of your heart slowly withered away, skin decaying as you stayed in your spot beside Daisuke, barely moving.
There was no point in trying to survive anymore. There was no point in trying to escape the aching pain that laid upon you. You had given up. You knew it would end up with you dying in the end, but you never thought it would happen like this.
Your stomach continued to twist in knots as if it were begging you to eat something. But you couldn’t. You were too weak at this point. Licking your chapped lips, you stared at Daisuke.
You imagined he was still there, smiling beside you with his arms wrapped around your waist. But his touch was cold. One that was one warm and loving, now turned rough and cold.
Each day you opened your eyes, it got harder to do so. Day, after day, after day, you were just hoping you suddenly fell limp, heart finally stopping it’s rhythm. After staring at your boyfriend’s body for a few minutes, your eyes felt heavy.
You didn’t fight back this time. As soon as you shut them, the pain stopped. It was like it was never there to begin with. Your heartbeat slowed, your fingers gently curling around your palm.
You felt free for the first time in ages. Free at last, your lover beside you. The only person who understood you. Your body fell limp, letting out one last breath.
If someone were to tell you this is how you would die as you were boarding the space freighter, you would’ve chuckled before they finished their sentence.
You’ve heard many horror stories about people dying in space. Either due to suicidal thoughts or because of their idiotic behavior. You didn’t know which category you fell into, though.
It wasn’t like that mattered anyway. You were free. You were gone from the shitty hellhole called Tulpar.
Maybe in another life, this wouldn’t have happened. Maybe you were living in a mansion with a loving husband. But, not in this universe.
Sometimes, stories don’t have an happy ending. Sometimes you just have to accept your fate, and that’s okay. You did what you could, and that’s what matters.
- Wouldn’t know where to place his hands, no matter the position
- Beside your head? On your back?
- You’d have to guide where his hands sit for the first few times you two have intercourse, but he’ll get the hang of it eventually
- Whimpering mess, no doubt about it
- Even if he tried, he wouldn’t be able to keep himself quiet
- If you were riding him, he’d have to keep his hands on your hips to ensure you wouldn’t move too fast. Otherwise, he’d cross the finish line around 30 seconds after you both started
- Please praise him. Poor guy would be too embarrassed to continue if you didn’t tell him how good he’s doing
- Adores when you make out with him during this time, especially while everyone else is asleep, either at the comfort of his house or on the Tulpar
- Knowing you both could get caught if one moan slips out gets him going
- During his first time though, a moan or two definitely left his lips on accident. Luckily enough, nobody came by to check on you two
nonvirgin!Daisuke..
- Wouldn’t be such a whimpering mess anymore. Although, he does let whines loose once in a while
- Honestly, he wouldn’t be a very kinky guy. I’m not sure what anyone considers normal anymore, but he wouldn’t be into the feet worship kink, or anything like the piss kink
- Some mornings, you’d wake up to him rubbing against you. Morning wood, basically
- At first, he wouldn’t be harsh with you at all unless you wanted him to be (which would take a lot of encouragement)
- But, as you two get closer to finishing, he’d speed things up a bit
- That’s when he really gets noisy
- You’d have to keep him shut by either making out, or just keeping a hand over his mouth to muffle him
- If it were your first time, he’d be extra extra extra cautious with you, your feelings, and body
- He’d continuously ask if you were okay and if you needed a break, to which you always responded no, but he still continued asking a few minutes later
- You know how some people ramble about their day during intercourse? He’d 100% be one of those people
- And if he ever had someone who pissed him off and he got to that part, he would speed his movements up
- Just a tad bit, though
- I feel like his favorite positions would just be the “normal” ones. Missionary, cowgirl, doggy style, etc
- He wouldn’t be a very unique guy in bed, but you still love him!!
aftercare with Daisuke..
- You wouldn’t be getting up from that bed until he cleaned you off
- He’d instantly stand up, put on his boxers, and run to the bathroom to grab a washcloth (not after making sure you knew to stay in place)
- After a few minutes, he’d come back with a cloth soaked in a temperature he knew was right for you
- 100% gives you massages wherever you said felt sore
- He’d appreciate if you massaged him in the areas he was hurting in exchange, but he wouldn’t say anything if you didn’t
- You both fall asleep in the comfort of each others arms
- For further elaboration, your head would be stuffed into his chest, his arms wrapped around your upper half
- One of his hands would be set on your scalp, giving you an extra massage on the head. His other hand would be on your upper back, right below your neck
- Your arms would be wrapped around his torso, fingers trailing against his skin, both of your legs loosely tanged in the blanket
****
authors note
if there are spelling errors, I’m so sorry.. i’m exhausted, but i was too excited to get to writing!!
on another note, there needs to be more daisuke stories.. PLEASE YOU GUYS
i haven’t been feeling very good these past few days. fever, sore throat, headache, stuffy nose, lots of stuff. not to mention it’s finals week, so i’ve been studying for them.
i’m going to need a few days to figure this all out and balance my health with school, but i’ll be back on track this saturday, november 23nd.
i’m so sorry guys, i just need a short break and then i’ll be back on saturday, i promise. i love you all and i hope you guys have an awesome rest of your week<3
You sat on the edge of the exam table, legs dangling off of it, almost touching the ground. Your uniform sleeve was rolled up to your shoulder, silently preparing yourself to get a needle stuck inside your arm. You were lucky to have such a patient girlfriend, otherwise you would be freaking out even more.
“It’ll be over in just a few seconds.” Anya reassured, flicking the syringe, droplets of liquid coming out of it at the impact. You softly whine, not liking the way the needle looked.
You glanced at the ground, gripping the thin paper sheet that sat below you. Your girlfriend stepped in between your legs, her free hand caressing your cheek. “I don’t want to do it..” You mumbled, shaking your head in her grasp.
Anya gave you a soft smile in attempt to ease any discomfort. She leaned forward, grazing her lips against yours. To the side, you could feel the needle starting to poke your skin, yet you couldn’t help but ignore the stinging sensation.
She let her hand drop from your cheek and settle around your waist, giving you a soft peck on the mouth. Your free arm gripped the side of her torso, attempting to get more. And more she did.
You softly moan into the kiss, feeling the needle slide out of your bicep. Once it was fully out, she broke the kiss to set the syringe down on a tray. You hesitantly let go of her, not wanting your small make out session to end.
It felt as if time was on your side today, speeding itself up by your command. She quickly came back, placing herself between your legs once again. She rubbed your bicep as if she were giving a massage, helping soothe the pain.
“See? Only a few seconds.” She murmured, a soft chuckle escaping her throat. You rolled your eyes before wrapping your arms around her neck, pulling her upper half on top of you.
“Just kiss me, Anya..” You pleaded, setting your hands on her shoulders. She obeyed, leaning down and planting kisses along your lips once again.
Her hands run down your sides, tugging at your jumper before starting to unbuttoning her own. You mirror her, doing the same to your uniform, all without breaking the kiss.
Suddenly, the loud sound of the door banging echos within the room, causing Anya to cut the make out session short. You stare at each other, waiting to hear who the person was on the other side.
“Anya? Are you there? I need a bandaid!” Daisuke’s voice rang, causing you to groan as your girlfriend leaned back from her position. You sat up, buttoning your uniform back up as she went to her desk before grabbing a bandaid or two.
The automatic door opened, revealing Anya and her unbuttoned uniform. She hurriedly gave Daisuke the bandaids before the door shuts, leaving the brunette to stare at it in disbelief.
He soon shrugged it off and turned around, struggling to open the wrapping.
~~~
authors note
this isn’t skimmed over at all so i definitely apologize if there’s any spelling errors!! i’m way too tired to read. but i hope you all enjoyed this!!
JSHAHSJDJBDJEISNSBHEHEHAHWAAASHHHHHHHHH ESJSKSNENDMKFKCNENEOPSGUHFNDNSNFHCYJFBDHDJEJDJDJJDJDJ (you're writing is so good what) EJJWNDIDKSNENJDIDNSCOWOOEPFLFNNFKWOSKDNDNIDIXNDUWIEJJIFIFKDKDK (how does one write like that) JSKSNSBSJSNNSKZOEIWNSNNDDNIFOWMENBR (remember to take a break) KSKDNDNSBSJSOIS
i hope you did great on your exams!!
and thank you so much anon! I’ve honestly been into writing my whole life. it just grows with you, really <33
i’m not very burnt out yet, so I’m fine! but thank you for the reminder <3
HELLO!! I WAS READING UR FIC ON WATTPAD AND I WAS WONDERING IF IT WAS OKAY IF I COULD TAKE INSPO FROM UR FIC TO WRITE MY OWN?? it'll be my first time trying to write one and who knows if ill even publish it but ofc if i do, i will SURELY credit you!! (Also tips for writing??? 👀👀👀)
of course you can take inspiration!! I don’t mind, but if you do end up posting it, I’d really appreciate it you’d tag me, and ofc like you said credit me<3 I’d love to see what you write!
honestly, I don’t have much tips when it comes to writing, but I guess there is a few!
1. write what you want. it’s your writing, therefore you can create whatever you want! dont let people bring you down for your writing, especially when you’re just starting out.
there will be people who make fun of your writing, no matter how good others think it is. don’t let them get to you!
2. don’t use words like; angry, sad, or happy. make it unique! instead, say; enthusiastic, somberly, or frustrated. although it isn’t very advanced, it’s not so plain either.
of course it’s okay if you do use those words though! just don’t use them over and over.
3. make sure you know the difference between your and you’re. you’re is short for you are, and your is kinda stating what is yours
(im not sure how to explain “your” if you can’t tell)
EX: you’re crazy for thinking that.
(you are crazy for thinking that.)
EX: this is yours.
OR
EX: this is not yours.
this also implies with there, their, and they’re! make sure you know the difference between them.
4. don’t make your paragraph very long like a rectangle. although that is what most people do for actual books, its not very recommended on wattpad or tumblr or any other social platforms.
5. Don’t Write Like This. Write like this!
(lowercase after first word, unless its a name.)
I’m sure these were already pretty obvious. i’m not good for tips on these things. but nonetheless, have fun writing!! i’m sure you’ll do great <3
After 10 minutes of being away from the medical room, you figured it was time to go back and check on Anya and Curly. You walked up to the door, gently knocking before waiting for an answer. But to your surprise, the black haired woman didn’t respond.
You became confused. You pressed your ear against the door, your skin glazing the metal. You heard breathing. You couldn’t make out whose it was, causing you to continue knocking, hoping for a response.
“Anya? Are you there?” You asked, raising your voice in case she couldn’t hear you. You heard light footsteps behind you, so you turned your head to see Daisuke walking towards you, a confused expression on his face.
“Is Anya okay?” He raised a brow, pressing his hand against the door. “I don’t know.. she isn’t responding.” You replied, voice soft and filled with worry. You keep your eyes on Daisuke, swallowing the bad feeling inside your gut.
“Anya! You okay?” He shouted, banging on the door. The two of you subconsciously stopped breathing, hoping to hear her reply.
“..Yeah.” She whispered, her voice muffled. Your eyes lit up, hearing her speak. “Is the door stuck?” You asked, feeling a knot get tighter in your throat. This was definitely something more than just a jammed door.
You heard a slight sniffle, causing you to slightly purse your lips before speaking once again. “Anya, we’re going to get you out of there.” You promised, glancing over at Daisuke, his face mimicking yours.
That was until his eyes lit up, remembering something that he paid little attention to before. “Oh, I’ll be right back! I saw Jimmy in the lounge just a couple minutes ago. I’ll go grab him!” He hurriedly explained before turning around, ignoring your calls to wait.
If anything, Jimmy would just make things worse for Anya and the two of you. You knew that, but why didn’t he? You quietly groan, turning back towards the door and banging on it once again.
“Please, Anya, I’m not dumb. Come on out, alright? We can talk this over. Just don’t do anything stupid!” You shouted, feeling the corner of your eyes sting with tears. You shook them away, knowing it wasn’t the time.
After a few seconds, you heard the sound of four feet run against the ground. You glanced behind you before stepping off to the side of the metal door, Daisuke settling beside you.
“Anya? I brought Jimmy!” His voice was filled with urgency, not knowing what to do. Hell, you didn’t know either. “We’re here to rescue you, so don’t worry.” He reassured, his hand on the wall. Jimmy takes a step closer to the door, causing you to shuffle your feet to the side even more.
He gently knocks on the door with his knuckles, the side of his face against the metal. “Hey. Heard the locks broken.” He confirmed, keeping his sentence short. Anya doesn’t speak, causing him to shout her name.
You stood off to the side, one hand resting on your forearm. As you did so, Anya finally replied, causing him to let go of a soft sigh. “The rest of our medicine stash is in there too. Damn, this could be bad..” He muttered. “Did you try to really put your back into it?” He asked, his voice raising.
You rolled your eyes before pushing past the man and hammering your fist on the door. “Anya, this isn’t a game. You need to come out!” You plead with her, not wanting this to go on any longer. Daisuke placed his hand on your shoulder in attempt to calm you down.
“Any wrenches laying around? How heavy is the med kit?” He called out, gently pulling you behind him before getting in front of the door, placing his two hands on it. “Anya, is the door stuck?” Jimmy whispered, wondering if she could hear him through the door without raising his tone.
She didn’t reply for a few seconds before muttering a small, “No”. Your blood ran cold. You opened your mouth, but Daisuke cut you off before any words came out.
“What do you mean?” He asked, raising a brow. Anya didn’t have any chance to reply before Jimmy spoke up. “Look, we’re all stressed. But, you can’t go breaking down at every little hardship.” You glanced towards him, seeing his brows furrow, clearly becoming frustrated.
“Open the damn door.” Your leg subconsciously shook, knowing where this was going to go. “You were right. You were right all along.” Anya’s soft voice felt heavy as she spoke. “I should’ve done this from the beginning.” You turned back towards the door, keeping your eyes locked on it.
“I always believed that our worst moments didn’t define us. Didn’t make us beyond repair.” The three of you stayed silent, the only sound being her echoing voice. “You think i wanted this either? Make no mistake. This isn’t my worst moment.. far from it. It’s the best one I’ll ever make.” She chuckled.
You heard the gentle sound of pill bottles being opened, causing you to immediately panic. Before you could even begin to talk, a firm hand gripped your bicep, causing you to back down.
You shook the hand off, not wanting the man to touch you anymore. “Open the door.” He demanded, hands forming fists. You were just glad he wasn’t holding you in his grasp anymore.
“I’ll take care of it.” Anya promised. Suddenly, Daisuke was the one to panic. He banged on the door with his palms, shouting at the woman inside. “What does that mean?!” His voice was shaky. You couldn’t help but just stare at him, feeling hopeless.
“Curly is still in there with her, right?” Jimmy mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. Daisuke turned around, nodding his head. “Yeah. You don’t think-..” He cut himself off, realization creeping into his skull.
Jimmy took a deep breath in. “Daisuke. You and Swansea know the internals of the ship better than anyone. There’s absolutely no other way into Medical?” He started, raising a brow. You turned to him, curious as to where his plan was going.
Daisuke thought for a moment, sounding hesitant. “Swansea said it was strictly off limits..” He stated, fully turning his body around. “Like, super, mega not allowed above all else.” Jimmy’s face twisted to realization. “The utility room.”
Your breath hitched, words getting caught in your throat. “That busted vent in there loops into Medical. But, technically a person could totally fit through it.” The brunette confirmed, causing you to finally budge in, glaring at Jimmy.
“That vent has been busted for a long time now. Someone could get seriously injured if they went inside it.” You warned, taking glances at the two men. “Y/N, if that’s the only way, we’ll make it work.” Your eyes widened, surprised by the boldness of Jimmy.
He then turned his body towards the door, keeping his eye locked on you. “You listening, Anya?” It felt as if the whole ship went silent as you three waited for her reply, but she never spoke. “Fine.” He gave up, relaxing his face. “Come on, Daisuke.”
He motioned for him to follow, causing you to grasp your boyfriend’s arm, making him stop in his tracks. “Daisuke, c’mon. You can’t be serious.” You whispered, keeping your voice low. He was clearly hesitant to go with him, but he gave you a smile nonetheless.
“Trust me, babe. I got this.” He promised. You shook your head, glancing back at the man who waited for the two of you. You slowly let your boyfriend go, resting your arms at your sides. “Fine.” You grumbled. “I’ll stay here, I guess..”
The brunette just chuckled, almost forgetting his task before Jimmy cleared his throat, growing impatient. Daisuke nodded towards him, quickly hurrying towards him, you hesitantly staying back.
If only you fought harder.
______
8 HOURS UNTIL JUDGEMENT
“Jim-.. what the fuck did you do?!” You shout, dragging out his name. As you did so, your voice became louder and more intense. Glancing down, in your arms laid an almost lifeless Daisuke. He gasped in shock, clutching his stomach as you continued panicking.
Jimmy ignored you, staring down at the man in your arms. “Don’t do anything!” He demanded before muttering; “stop” over and over. “I can fix thi-..” He spoke, causing Swansea to cut him off. “Why do you keep fucking saying that?” He asked, hands on his hips.
Daisuke groaned softly, causing the two men to shut up. “I-..I’m s-sorry..” He mumbled, shaking his head in sorrow. You leaned down, hugging his head to your shoulder like he was a baby. “It’s going to be okay, just stay still. I’ve got you, I promise.” You reassured, planting a light kiss on his temple.
“We still have disinfectant, right?” Swansea turned back towards Jimmy, his hands now over his chest. “The one from the extra medical stash?” He asked quite frantically before demanding he grabbed it.
“The cocktail..” Jimmy trailed off, glancing down at Daisuke. “The cocktail?!” Swansea shouted. “What are are blabbering about?” As the two men bickered, you drowned their voices out. You kept your eyes on your boyfriend, watching him squirm in your arms.
“You need to stop moving around!” You cried, almost pleading for him to stop. Jimmy stood up before walking away with Swansea, you being left alone with Daisuke.
______
After about 20 minutes, the two of them came back. Jimmy held a bottle of mouthwash in his hand, causing you to shout at him as he sat down in front of you, taking the bottle cap off. “Are you crazy?” You asked, knowing what he was about to use the blue liquid for.
“It’s the only thing we have.” He replied harshly. He tore the cap off, tossing it to the ground before turning it to the side. You pull Daisuke back, not letting Jimmy touch him. “You can’t!” You plead, shaking your head.
The brunette only glared at you, his grip on the bottle tightening. “Let him go, Y/N.” He demanded. You shook your head once again, not wanting him to touch the man in your arms.
“No..” You mumble, holding Daisuke to your chest. “Godammit, let him go!” He yelled at you, causing tears to flow down your cheeks. Hesitantly, you obeyed. Jimmy let out a deep breath, turning the bottle onto its side once more, letting the liquid fall out and onto Daisuke’s wounds.
It sizzled as you covered your ears with the palm of your hands, hearing your boyfriend’s screams. You hiccup, curling in on yourself.
You just couldn’t bear to listen to his raspy voice cry.
______
3 MONTHS AFTER THE CRASH
You stayed behind, watching the door to medical. There was a chance she could change her mind and unlock the door, making you the first to see her after the incident. You couldn’t help but smile at the thought of her guilty face as she stepped out of the door, accepting your attempt to hug her.
But your thoughts were cut short by a loud scream echoing behind the automatic door. You recognized that scream almost immediately. Your face twisted from pleased to panic in an instant as you gripped the side of the door, your fingernails barely grasping the metal.
As you groaned, you pulled as hard as you could. But to your dismay, it didn’t budge. You silently waited, knowing you couldn’t do anything. The only thing swirling inside your mind was the hope that Daisuke got to the other side of the vent, let alone was still alive.
You heard a grunt before Daisuke spoke up. Your muscles tensed, hearing his voice. It was raspy; sounding like his vocal cords could explode any second now. “Anya..? Wh-..What did you do?” His voice was shaky, hinting that he was crying.
Your breath became faster, anxiety rushing through your veins. “Daisuke, that’s you, right? Baby, I need you to open the door for me right now!” You shouted, banging on the door in hopes he would obey. You heard shuffling inside the room before the click of the door, causing it to automatically open.
The sight in front of you was unbelievable. Curly laid on the medical bed, staring directly at you. Anya sat on the ground beside him, pills scattered around her, making the cause of her death easily visible. Overdosing.
You fought the urge to scream at her to wake up, knowing that if you did, it would only be a waste of time. You then glanced at your feet, seeing your boyfriend with cuts all over him.
You instantly react, lifting his body up by the arms. You drag him out of the room, a light blood trail following. Rough footsteps came from behind you, but you couldn’t bother to turn back, already knowing it was Jimmy.
“What the fuck?” He muttered in shock, causing you to yell at him. “Don’t just stand there, what is wrong with you?! Help me!” You cried, feeling a deep gash on Daisuke’s chest. The older man took him from your arms, carrying him into the lounge.
You stayed close behind, noticing that Daisuke’s blood was all over your arms and hands, and even your jumper. You stared in shock, but you didn’t say anything. You knew panicking wouldn’t do anyone any good.
______
7 HOURS UNTIL JUDGEMENT
After Jimmy used the mouthwash as disinfectant, Daisuke’s wounds didn’t seem to get better. You ended up blowing up at the older man, screaming at him, saying what a shitty job he’s done.
You almost broke skin from your knuckles from smashing the metal floor, trying to let your frustration out.
Swansea was the one who had to comfort you. He didn’t hold you, but he did have his arms loosely wrapped around you, guiding you to sit on the floor as Jimmy kept muttering random words to Daisuke.
He sat you against the wall on the other side of the door, letting you glance over at the wounded brunette whenever you felt like it. You continued sobbing, not caring if you were ugly crying or not. That was the least of everyone’s concerns.
Everything came crashing down on you like a train. You hadn’t registered Anya’s death until now, along with how serious Daisuke’s injuries actually were. You couldn’t believe what was happening. You couldn’t escape this nightmare.
Your body faced Daisuke, your arms wrapping around your own body in attempt to ground yourself from lashing out at Jimmy once again. You hiccuped, feeling Swansea’s hand gently caress your back. He was seated next to you, his body also facing the two men.
“It’s going to be alright.” You heard him mumble. You weren’t sure if he was muttering those words to you or him, but you nodded nonetheless.
You lowered your head into your arms, feeling the dried blood of Daisuke flake off. You snuffled, resting your head against the metal wall.
“I know.” You replied, your voice raspy. It hurt to speak after shouting for a minute straight, but that was the consequence of your own actions. After a few minutes, you felt the tears that fell from your eyes finally dry.
You muffled a sob as Swansea pat your back, giving you one last glance before standing up. He walked back towards Daisuke and Jimmy, leaving you alone with your thoughts.
You quickly decided to follow suit, feeling your legs wobble as you stepped towards your boyfriend. It hurt you to stare down at him, knowing the paining backstory as to how he got so injured.
You sat down in front of Swansea and Jimmy, Daisuke lying in between. You held an expression of someone who’s exhausted, yet still fighting for worth. That’s exactly where you were at now.
Except the only person who made you feel like you were finally worth something was bleeding out in front of you. And you can’t do anything about it.
The three of you stayed silent as the brunette continued groaning in pain. You couldn’t help but feel tears sting the corner of your eyes, wishing you could do something to take his pain away.
Letting out a soft sigh, you lean over and wrap your arms around Daisuke before resting his head to your chest, cradling him like you were doing an hour ago.
You felt his fingers loosely grasp around your clothed skin, causing you to let out a soft whine, trying not to break down again. You hid your face from the two men’s view in Daisuke’s hair, your forehead to the top of his head.
You knew his time would be over soon, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to accept it. And so, you cradled him in your arms like a baby, not ready to let go. Suddenly, you heard Jimmy’s harsh tone of voice.
“I can fix this.” He muttered, his expression calm, yet his body language stated otherwise. He was shaky, twitching out of hesitance.
You lifted your head, watching as he let out a deep sigh. His eyes were set on Daisuke’s stomach, seeing blood continue to flow out of his body.
You then turned your attention towards Swansea, who already had his eyes set on you. Your brows upturned, seeing his saddened expression. He knew what you were thinking.
You gave Daisuke a short lived kiss on the top of his head before placing your chin in that exact spot, careful not to put any pressure. You advert your eyes to the side, ignoring the older man’s stare.
“It’s going to be alright.” You whisper to the man in your arms, repeating what Swansea had said earlier. You felt a lump in your throat, feeling the tears continue to sting your eyes.
“I know it hurts, but p-..please, I can’t do this without you.” Your voice was so soft that Daisuke could barely hear you.
He knew he didn’t have much time left, seeing as blood was gushing out of his chest. But he continued fighting, not ready to leave you alone on this space freighter.
______
6 HOURS UNTIL JUDGEMENT.
“The bleeding won’t stop.” Jimmy’s voice rang through the intense air. Daisuke still laid in your arms, his eyes glancing towards you from time to time. He could see your expression and how dead you looked.
“Just try to stay still, Daisuke. I-..I need a second to think. We can fix this.” The man with stubble on his chin whispered, causing your body to tense up.
He always said the words, “I can fix this”. Most of the time, he always screwed it up. Why was this time any different?
Swansea stared down at the wounded man in your arms, wondering how he could help. At least he was actually doing something instead of mumbling that he could fix this mess.
Then you. You. You caressed Daisuke’s cheek, causing him to glance up at you again. You can see the pain in his eyes, his suffering to keep himself alive. It was draining him, and it was obvious to everyone nearby.
You couldn’t bear staring at him any longer. The men beside you were stalling, not knowing what to do. But you did. You slowly lowered him to the ground, careful not to make any sudden movements.
As you did so, Daisuke began coughing. He wrapped his arms around himself, blood seeping out past his lips. This only drove you further to do what was necessary. You glanced back up at the older man in front of you, leaning over and holding out your arm.
“Give me the axe, Swansea.” You uttered, your other arm resting at your side, hand running through Daisuke’s sweaty hair, almost like an attempt to comfort him. To soothe his pain.
Swansea hesitantly set his axe in your hand, not wanting to believe what he was thinking. But in the back of his mind, he knew exactly what you were planning. And so did Jimmy. He instantly shouted at you to stop. To think about what you were doing.
But you couldn’t.
Not when the only person you ever actually cared for was in pain. Not while he’s lying in front of you helplessly, waiting for the suffering to end.
Your hand parted from Daisuke’s hair to help support the weight of the axe. You glanced at the weapon in your hands, then at your wounded boyfriend, then at the men who sat in front of you.
One held a stern look on his face, the other pleading with you to think about what you were doing. But you knew exactly what you were doing. You lowered your head, lips parting from each other as you spoke, staring at the brunette through a pained expression.
“It’ll be okay, Daisuke.” You muttered, ignoring Jimmy’s words that fled your head.
“I don’t want to make the same mistakes I’ve made with keeping myself here. I don’t want to make you suffer with the consequences of something that isn’t your fault, Daisuke.” You somberly shook your head, keeping your eyes locked on him.
“You deserved a better life, not one that requires going to space to make the people you love proud.” Your voice cracked, tears finally breaking free from the tiny glass wall in front of your eyes once again. The liquid fell down your cheeks, planting themselves onto the hard metal ground.
“You should’ve been out there on earth having fun.. but instead, you got stuck with the people who only put you down when you needed them most. And for that, I say sorry. I say sorry for everyone who ever hurt you. And to that, that includes me.”
You held your shoulders high, lifting the axe in your hands and setting the sharp side beside your head.
“Close your eyes, Daisuke.” He obeyed almost instantly, your voice being the last thing he ever heard before you smashed the axe across his face, ending his life.
(crashing out ASAP as if I didn’t write this entire fic.)
obviously there’s more chapters to come, so be on the look out for that!! chapter eight will be out in a week or two.
like half of this chapter was supposed to be in chapter eight, but I couldn’t stop myself from hitting you all with more angst after each sentence. I got carried away
nonetheless, I hope you all enjoy this chapter! I definitely enjoyed writing it<3
AU where Anya graduates and Curly uses a powerchair.
•••••
You stood off in the stands like everyone else, looking over the railing and searching for the dark haired woman. You groaned loudly, not caring for anyone giving you glares. “Where is she?” You softly whined like a little kid, wanting to see your girlfriend in her beautiful robe.
Daisuke searched for her as well, leaning over the railing with you. He gasped before pointing downwards to the left, chuckling as he spoke. “There she is!” Your head turned to where he was pointing. After a few seconds, your frustrated face twisted into a pleased one.
“Anya, over here, baby!” You shouted, waving your arm in hopes to get her attention. Luckily, she turned her head to the side, giggling as she saw you, Swansea, Daisuke, and Curly in the crowd of parents and friends.
She waved back, a rose colored blush running across her cheeks before turning her attention back over to the stage. Swansea patted you on the back, a small smirk on his face as he leaned over to whisper in your ear.
“Kid, you gotta calm down. We’re getting looks over here.” He muttered, motioning towards the family of four a few feet away from you. You rolled your eyes but obeyed, glancing towards the stage as someone stepped up to the mic.
It felt like hours before one by one, the graduates started getting up from their seat to take their diploma on the stage. You perked up, seeing other students start standing up in Anya’s row. You leaned over to the left, mumbling to the older man beside you.
“She’s about to be called up, right?” You questioned, getting a bit nervous. You felt like a parent for thinking this, but it felt as if it were just yesterday she was crying in your arms each time she failed getting into medical school.
Now, she’s graduating right in front of you. Four years do really pass by fast.
Swansea gently nodded his head, confirming your thoughts. You nervously grin, ready for her name to be called by the speaker with the microphone.
You impatiently fidget with your fingers, preparing yourself to run to your girlfriend following the graduation ceremony. After a few minutes, you heard what you’ve been waiting to hear all day, “Anya Musume!”
The microphone blares, causing you to shout and clap as the black haired woman stood up from her seat, walking towards the stage with a proud grin plastered on her face. As she spoke into the mic, you couldn’t stay still.
You continued to play with your hands, feeling the palms of them get sweaty from being close together. You felt your heartbeat rise in excitement, ready for this to be over so you can feel her warmth as her arms wrap around you.
———
Finally, the person beside the microphone walked away. You instantly ran off as Swansea shouted at you to slow down. But you don’t. You can’t. You rush through the crowd of families, gently pushing them away as some get too close.
You approach the elevators, softly groaning while people shove themselves inside them. As you did so, the three men you were with finally caught up to you. “Y/N, you can’t just do that! What if you got lost?” Swansea scolded, causing you to grumble.
You crossed your arms over your chest, forcing an apology to out of your throat. He only sighed before shaking his head. Suddenly, you lit up. You turned towards Daisuke, knowing the older man wouldn’t like the plan you were about to say aloud.
“What if we use Curly as an excuse to get past all of these people?” You murmur, leaning over to the brunette’s ear. He almost bursted into a fit of giggles before nodding, agreeing to your plan.
You glanced down at Curly, seeing his bright blue eye follow your movements as you leaned over. “Curls, c’mon, we got a plan.” You whispered, a dorky grin covering your mouth. You and Daisuke led him to the front of the line, the older man glaring at the back of your head.
Daisuke tapped a young lady on her shoulder, causing her to turn around to be met with two idiots and a man in a power chair. Your smile weakened before speaking. “Miss, can we cut in front of you? We really need to get going.” You motion to Curly, causing him to start his act.
He honestly played his part well, glancing off to the side. He shifted slightly, nervousness showing across his features. The woman was about to politely decline, but Daisuke stepped up.
“Please, ma’am. Can’t you see our dad is getting overwhelmed?” He somberly muttered, not backing down without a fight. Luckily, he didn’t need to. The woman hesitated before nodding, shuffling around so you three could fit.
Swansea watched this thing go down in disbelief. Although, he was a bit proud, he would never admit it. You mumbled a soft, “thank you” before pushing past her, letting the bandaged man in first.
Once you were all inside the elevator, you pressed the button over ten times to go to the lobby, impatient to see a specific graduate.
After a couple seconds, the door finally opened, revealing all the families with their students. You became nervous staring at them, seeing many people waiting for their loved ones. But what did you expect?
It didn’t bother you much to stand next to them, but trying to find someone in a crowd did. You swallowed a ball of anxiousness, trying to calm yourself down. You kept close to your group, avoiding eye contact with any stranger you pushed past.
“Is that her?” Swansea muttered, pointing towards a woman who looked like Anya from behind. You stared at her for a moment, wondering the same thing. Suddenly, Daisuke shouted her name, causing the girl to turn around, her eyes lighting up at the sight of you four.
“It is.” You grinned, ignoring your nervousness and dodging the people who shoved you around. You heard Swansea call out your name again, but you ignored him and continued your way towards your girlfriend.
“Anya!” You wrapped your arms around her shoulders, shoving your face into the crook of her neck. She giggled, wrapping her arms around your waist and pulling you into a tighter hug.
“Hey, sweetheart.” She mumbled, kissing the top of your head. She lifted her head to see the rest of the group stepping towards them, a smile on each of their faces.
“Hey, guys!” She chuckled, giving them a smile before letting one hand loose from your hug to wave. In an instant, Daisuke embraced her, the hug becoming a group one.
She let out a lighthearted laugh, setting her free arm on his back. Swansea chuckled, motioning to let Curly join the three of you. The short haired male dug into his pockets before pulling out his digital camera. You stifled a laugh, seeing him point it towards you guys.
Anya stood in the middle, her arms wrapped around your and Daisuke’s upper back. Curly sat in front of you and Anya, your free hand resting on his shoulder. “Stay still!” Swansea grumbled before taking the picture.
“It’s, ‘say cheese’! You can’t just say ‘stay still’, Swansea.” Daisuke chuckled, shaking his head. “I can say what I want.” He muttered, closing his camera and shoving it back into his pocket.
You and Anya softly laugh, finding Swansea’s comeback entertaining. Letting Curly’s shoulder go, you glanced at the woman in your grasp, admiring her. You couldn’t help but think one thing; ‘how’d you get so lucky?’
•••••
authors note
i adored this AU, especially with no jimmy in it
but of course the events still happened, but without death. (besides jimmy.)
!not proofread, but skimmed over!
i hope you all like this! i enjoyed writing this a lot. bye for now<3
I’m sorry, I just gotta make y’all suffer with my ideas..
BUT I should mention that on the other platform that this is posted on (wattpad) one user mentioned making bonus parts where the crew interacts with reader outside of the plot. hopefully that’ll make up for the angst?
honestly, i’m thinking of having a small james sunderland and mary moment from silent hill 2. but james is reader and mary is daisuke. do you guys get what i’m hinting to?
(please tell me you do or im gonna sound crazy)
yes, it involves daisuke’s death. yes, it involves reader with the axe. you cannot escape it guys, i’m sorry💔
AND THANK YOU FOR 400 FOLLOWERS!! i love you all SO MUCH<33
