Non Gendered Magic
I remember, being a young witch first starting the path, questioning the male and female energy of everything in Wicca. I found myself feeling vaguely uncomfortable at the constant allusions to sex, genitalia, and binary reproduction. It felt very much to me as the polar opposite of the church I had grown up in, and very much purposeful for that.
That was probably my first hint that I fell on the non-binary spectrum. Of course, I didn’t know it at the time. Now that I have come to terms with my place in the LGBTQ2S+ community, I have been trying to think of ways that I could de-genderize modern practice. I very much strive in my craft to be respectful, inclusive, and to push boundaries. I blame the Aries energy.
So, for anyone who falls within the NB label, or anyone who just wants to de-genderize your own practice, here are my thoughts. Of course, as always, these are suggestions. YMMV.
- most traditional books will talk about there being a “male” and “female” energy. I’ve started to try and break down what that means, and I’ve kind of determined that it breaks it down into the stereotypical traits of male and female. Males are aggressive, and direct, and warm and intelligent. Females are passive and intuitive and nurturing and contemplative. It’s as easy as breaking down those terms and using them instead of male or female. For example, fire is typically a masculine element - why? Fire is aggressive and warm and capricious and transformative. So, instead of saying ‘fire is masculine’, say ‘fire is transformative’ or ‘fire has a very aggressive energy’. Earth is nurturing and warm and solid and reliable. Water is intuitive and has depth, and is emotional and flowing. Air is intelligent and forward thinking and uplifting. Using those subtle changes doesn’t change the meaning of your intention, just the wording of it.
- We often treat our tools as though they are just representations of dicks and pussies, and thus they are automatically classified as masculine and feminine. Our wands and staves and athames are just dick extentions, so ‘traditionally masculine’. Our bowls and cauldrons are just wombs, so ’traditionally feminine’. We can ascribe meaning without making them gendered OR sexual. The athame or wand is the focus of our will. The cauldron is the vessel that holds our intentions.
- Recognize that many things in the natural world fall outside the gender binary. Bearded Dragons, clown fish, banana slugs, some frogs, seahorses, etc. are all examples of animals aren’t necessarily male or female. Recognize that nature is not always binary, and so we can incorporate those variations into our workings.
- Sex is not a bad thing! It is a-okay to talk about or reference sex in your practice! Whatever 2 or more consenting adults want to do in their own practice is their business. Just recognize that when drawing from that energy, those bodies are not always male or female. Think about all the shapeshifting gods who just did not give a fuck about gender - Zeus, Loki, Thor, Hermes… I could go on. Incorporating sex or sexual energy is fine! Focusing on a big, hard erect penis is fine, if that’s what you want. But not everyone who has a penis identifies as a man, ya dig? Talk about or focus on the dick, just don’t focus on the ‘manly’ or ‘masculine’ dick.
Queer people are valid in witchcraft. So many of our gods are queer. Witchcraft is transgressive, and our queer members need to feel the love. If it means making things less gendered and heteronormative for them, so be it. I don’t want to make any heteros upsetero, and if this is your own personal practice, you do what you want. I’m speaking in wider view of the community. As I said, it is your practice. I just have failed to find any resources for myself, and kinda think maybe some others are in the same boat, and so here I am.
I would love to hear from other NB folks or queer folks what they have come up with in their own practices.
