PUBBY CURRY

dont be surprised if you find such a disgusting or kinda ew posts when you scroll down my page. it was my past lol. but now, enjoy my current things that perhaps also gonna be the ew things someday. xx

[deblrrrr]

People who see the beauty of ferris wheel are not in the game They don't feel the excitement to start the game; the uproar when everyone enjoy the vehicle; the fear when looking down while getting higher; the chaos when the machine suddenly stop for a while; the worry free when you can see you almost reach the finish; and the sadness when the game is finally end and the other passengers one by one were just left you there At the end, people from far just see the beauty of it But me.. I enjoy the whole game of this ferris wheel 🎡 (at Grande Roue de Paris)

[deblrrrr]

PUSH!

Pray Until Something Happen

lately I let it all go, I surrender all my burden to God

I just can’t hold it all in my head. though I know I have a big head :p but I just can’t

I ask Him to give me the light

to open the door so I might see the light, because this room was so so dark

then this morning it’s not the alarm that wake me up, but it’s the unknown number that ask me to come overthere

he said “he is here now. you don’t have much time. come here, right now!”

which...whatttt? I just woke up!

but my body respond contrary to my brain

it ran downstairs to have a shower and get ready

and on that time I feel like a super-multi-tasking-lady

I’m printing, powdering (have no time for shampoo :p) and styling my hair, touch up, making a letter, have breakfast, and order ojek at the same time. how cool was that wkwk

afterwards I arrived on that place, do not care to those eyes gazed upon me who runs with messy hair

at the 2nd floor with the heart that could not speed down its beat

I fill the guest form, but I keep making a mistake in writting the date, day, etc. until around 5 times I think

till that unknown number guys yelling and laughing at me “easy Deborah! you still have time. he still on the meeting”

but I’m just be like, sorry but I cannot be calm.

then I finally sat in the waiting room

rolled eyes, staring to each one on the room.

God.......they’re foremost people, I might not be a priority or I even have no time to talk to him.

but I just ignore that thought

thinking that God wouldnt be just “iseng” waking me up trough that unkown number

God must be have something to tell, whether its good or bad news for me

I just prepared my heart to get ready for whatever it is

............I tried to scrolldown my insta feeds, reading the news, playing game. just find something fun to calm my mind. but none of them work.

then I just keep komat kamit and singing Jabez prayer dalam hati

one by one the other guest take turns to meet him in his room

I’m so worry to have no turns, and that’s true!

when he was about to go to his car

the unknown number guys call me and whispered “go to the parking park, meet him there”

have no time to okay-ing them, I just ran directly to the parking park

and yes! precisely I met him at the stairs

I don’t care to those around him, I just tell him my secret mission and he agree to support me!!!

and after that my mom called me with a good news

also the woman from XXX confirmed to say yes

Holy God Almighty Lord! How great You are!

I ask for one clue, He gave me more

I ask for one open door to see the light

He gave me some open doors instead.

Your love never fail me, Lord♥

its almost 3am right now

actually I plan to sleep at 1 but after devotion I saw my green book at the corner of my bed

I read my handwritting at the last pages

those are about; Wordless Groans, Lead by The Spirit, Wait Patiently, Jabez Prayer, Faith of Abe, and Trust The Lord

reading those titles the tears just stream down my face

I was so emotional, what an incredible compassion

when it doesn’t make sense, when people think how crazy I am to keep striving, when the others think its impossible

there is One person that keep strengthen this weak soul

who keep speak through my heart “don’t give up”

His way is always ada-ada saja :)

thank you Lord, thank you Lord, I love youuuuu!

[thepersonalquotes]

[thepersonalquotes]

[deblrrrr]

may I?

2016 - I know I know

it’s been 2 weeks since the fireworks make a fuss in all over the world

but still I want to write how amazing 2016 have been, because why not

I really felt the whole game of ferris wheel (the excitement to start, how does it feel in the low and high position, the anxiety, the sadness, everything. literally everything)

at the beginning it was a very tough time for me

everything messed up

the dissent between me and my friends that ruin our friendship, my daddy was hospitalized for his pancreatitis, the preasure about my study, been in the long distance relationship (a-aw) till we decided to stop

well, the hard thing is not to deal with our distant and time, but our faith

you know what I mean, eh? we’re not a Cathedral and Istiqlal that could always stand together. it’s the longest relationship evah. aham OK skip.

so yaaa but thank God I still have some friends to hangout with

yes, just hangout and spent a time for happy thingy. since I am not an open person about my privato problemo. I used to think I am my own hero #superwomen

till the next month I have to done my school duty, it was to live 2 months in the village

with no proper signal, no proper pathway, no proper electricity, no gadget (well I allowed, but it have no function there) andddd with everything that so different with the city life

at the first I really can’t deal with it. I kept complaining about the weather, the dirty things, the food, the house, I was really unthankful

till the days and the weeks passed

I realized how bad I was. to be disrespectful, not so thankful

the chance to live in that situation taught me about life. how I gain a new perspective about life.

then I have be back to reality

I fall again.

until God really grab my hand

the time when I really felt, He doesn’t let me walk too far from Him

since the moment that I felt the divine sorrow

I have no doubt to step away from my bad life

but fellas, repentance is not an insurance to get the happy life

wheels keep spinning

in the mid-year I was so frustated about my study and can’t stop blamed myself for what happened

but again when I fall, I fall, but my Dad up there never let my face hit the ground

He send me some people who help me to raise

the self-blame, the worries, the unfaithful heart, that were the intimidation from the devil that don’t like me ‘to be back’

also in 2016 I accept Jesus by my own decision

not because I came from Christian family, or the religious thing that obligate me to declare it

what a beautiful feeling to fall in love more each day with that Person

thank you Lord for 2016, the incredible year ever so far

for the double happy vacation I have

for the uncountable go-home ehee (which I usually find it hard to have a time for my family)

for the new mini family in my not-so-little-family

for Your promise that I keep in faith

for the new challenge You gave me for this 2017 :’) oh God strengthen me

for the responsibilty You put on me

for every people who stand by me, who pray for me, who gave me some lessons

JESUS❤❤❤❤❤

thank you for the heart that you made with a new perspective

the heart that always be sure and believe You have prepare everything that is good for me

Father, thank you❤

PS. I’m writing this with no negative purpose (whatever it is)

PPS. hope this could bless you

PPPS. thank you for spent a time for this “pubby curry” haha. cyber hugs!

[worshipgifs]

[worshipgifs]

[emotionalwords]

[thepersonalquotes]

[thepersonalquotes]

[thepersonalquotes]

[worshipgifs]

Mark 9:24

[deblrrrr]

I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I am helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time - waking and sleeping - It doesn't change God - it changes me

C.S. Lewis

[smackmybxtchup]

[stability]

[deblrrrr]

cliche but exaccccctttttly

[lomasdope]

We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all.

Eleanor Roosevelt (via lomasdope)

[thegirlwhocrieswolf]