Amanda (Part 1)
We had an opening at work for a receptionist.Ā The other one that quit was worthless; lazy, gross, unqualified for a job that doesnāt really require a lot of qualifications.Ā We hired a girl named Amanda to replace her.Ā She was cute.Ā Not the kind of looks that make a guy fall out of his chair because she is showing everything off, but the kind of girl that you hope to make eye contact with across a crowded room.Ā A cute smile, nicely kept hair, a figure that would make you take a second look for sure.Ā
We exchanged smiles in the first company meeting.Ā Let me tell you something about myself; I am awkward and unsure about the game of flirting.Ā I am never sure if the lingering smile is JUST a smile, or is it more?Ā Is the eye contact we made JUST eye contact, or was it a deeper connection of some kind?Ā I am not looking for a relationship... actually quite the opposite.Ā I am looking for myself.Ā I need to find out who I am, what I am, what I want.Ā Just leave it at that... leave it as a nice co-worker.Ā Ā Over the next few days we talked a little bit.Ā Exchanged niceties, talked about the weather, or the company.Ā I really do enjoy talking with her.Ā And she is clearly enjoyable to look at.Ā Dark skin.Ā Tight jeans.Ā Low cut shirt, not the kind that looks slutty, but just gives you a little more for your imagination.Ā Ā āA well put-together dameā.Ā Thatās what Iād say if i was a gangster in the 30ā²s.Ā At least thatās what I imagine I would talk like.Ā Thatās a fun thought; tommy gun, trench coat over my what I only imagine to be my well fitted pin-stripe suit, fedora pulled low to keep the rain off my face.Ā Sheād be the girl that stands out a the jazz club.Ā Not the dancers, but the matter-of-fact, sharp talking girl.Ā The kind that slaps you for stealing a kiss, and then lets you kiss her again.Ā That is a fantasy for another time, I digress.
We talk one night after work briefly.Ā Ā My last words before we part are a smoothĀ ātext me if you get boredā.Ā Definitely not 30ā²s gangster.Ā I need to work on that.Ā The worst part is that she must not have been bored; she didnāt text me.
I went out with friends last Friday.Ā As I was driving, she popped in my head.Ā Not for any other reason that I was pitying myself that she didnāt text me.Ā Not a minute later my phone buzzed.Ā Ā āHey, this is Amanda from workā.Ā Apparently she was bored?Ā I guess I didnāt really care why she texted me, but she did.Ā I replied back, again just making small talk.Ā I was ok with small talk though, she thought about me enough to text me.Ā That was a good feeling in of itself.Ā Ā
I was hanging out the the guys that night, but my mind wasnāt really on them.Ā I was really enjoying our text-convo.Ā It was a lot ofĀ āget-to-know-yaā kind of stuff.Ā As I drank a little more I got a little ballsier, however.Ā The conversation started drifting toward that of a sexual nature.Ā We talked about sex positions, sex stories, turn-onās, turn-offās, kinks, fantasies; the works!Ā I was enjoying the conversation enough that I could feel a wet spot on my leg where my dick was.Ā This girl was intriguing, needless to say.Ā What an arousing way to end the week.
I text her Saturday morning, you know, cuz Iām not desperate or anything.Ā *Sarcasm*.Ā In all my infinite wisdom I mustered the courage to say:Ā āheyā.Ā She replied:Ā āheyā.Ā *Great! Iām just gonna walk in front of a fast moving truck*.Ā āHow are youā?Ā *Well sexually frustrated and smooshed by a truck, how are you?*Ā I didnāt know how to take what she said.Ā As a self-conscious guy, I could read into that 2,000,000 ways.Ā *Exaggerations*.Ā I wanted to play safe, so I just replied to her saying I was sorry for how forward I was.Ā I told her I enjoyed getting to know her and Iād love to keep talking, but I felt bad that I was so quick to be sexual.Ā She said she wasnāt bothered by it, which I was relieved to hear.Ā If Iām being honest, I would have rather heard that she was sitting on her bed in her underwear waiting for me, but you know, Iām not looking for a relationship.Ā What a relief... lucked out there, right? *sarcasm*.Ā Ā āSee ya Mondayā was the last text.Ā Now Iāll just sit here all weekend and wonderĀ āWhat the fuck is wrong with meā? Like not just cuz Iām overly sexual, and under confident.Ā But like why do I read into things so much?Ā Just let it be.Ā Be cool.Ā Be 30ā²s gangster cool;Ā ācatch ya later, babeā.Ā Ā
