hollanov + grinning like dopes as they text each other

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hollanov + grinning like dopes as they text each other
Neil: *picks up the phone*
Andrew, annoyed: Kevin threw out my chocolate
Neil: all of it?
Andrew: yes
Neil: and he’s still alive?
Andrew: he’s hiding at Matt’s
Neil: got it
Andrew: that’s it?
Neil: you want me to say more?
Andrew: yes.
Neil: okay...
Neil: shit happens
Neil: I’ll swing by and get you a new one
Andrew: *heavy sigh*
Andrew: how do I make him really suffer?
Neil, in German: his autograph from Jeremy and those newspaper clippings with him are hidden in the history books
[beeping tone from the phone]
Jean: so they finally noticed you’re gone?
Neil: that I went for a walk all the way to California?
Neil: not yet
Jean: what did you say about Jeremy?
Neil: nothing?? I didn’t even mention Jeremy
Neil: why is it always about him with you?
aftg stuff we as a fandom do not talk about or appreciate enough:
neil punching the shit out of riko and wymack having to drag him off
neil repeatedly wanting to hit someone but not allowing himself because he was trying to stay low profile
neil getting back from evermore, realising riko tattooed him, and immediately attempting to carve the tattoo off his face with a knife
neil fantasising about stomping andrews face in at columbia
neil being experienced with guns
neil specifically liking exy because its aggressive and violent
neil grabbing the racket at thanksgiving with the intention of using it as a weapon, then asking for it back after
" "Need anything else?" "A clear shot at Riko and no witnesses," Neil said. Matt grinned like he thought Neil was joking and left. "
Neil steps up behind Andrew and loosely wraps an arm around his waist while Andrew is busy putting things away, lost in his own thoughts. “Hey…” he murmurs against the nape of Andrew’s neck. the kind of deceptive “hey” that immediately tells you a second of affection isn’t going to be enough. but Andrew keeps working, determined not to get distracted by Neil trailing after him, nuzzling against his neck and rubbing the top of his head against his shoulder. eventually, Neil starts leaning more and more of his weight onto him, slowly forcing Andrew to bend forward under the pressure. “It’s not funny. Calm down,” Andrew protests, sounding far too unbothered for someone who supposedly wants Neil to stop. all he gets in return is muffled laughter and the unmistakable curve of a smile against his skin. “What exactly?” comes from behind, unclear and overly dramatic. a second later, Neil finally succeeds in dragging them both down onto the bed, trying to gather Andrew beneath him, fully aware, of course, that Andrew would never let that happen so easily. the next moment, Andrew catches Neil’s wrist and pushes back: their positions shift almost instantly. Neil doesn’t even bother resisting. he lets them tumble through the chaos of it, passing control back and forth in a whirlwind of playful wrestling until Andrew finally catches him for good and pins him down. strong arms wrap around Neil’s waist and chest, holding him firmly in place. Andrew can hear Neil breathing harder beside him, their brief bout of fooling around has left them both a little breathless. then there it is again—a short laugh. Neil tries to twist around so he can look at Andrew, but Andrew only tightens his hold, keeping him exactly where he is. “You still haven’t calmed down,” he says quietly against Neil’s ear. the words are calm enough, but Neil can feel the contradiction pressed against his back: Andrew’s heart is beating far too hard for someone pretending to be unaffected. if Andrew had really wanted him to stop, he could have pushed him away long before Neil managed to bend him in half and drag him toward the bed. or by firmly saying “no”. but Andrew hadn’t. Instead, he’d chosen to stay close. now he keeps Neil tucked against his chest, burying his face in Neil’s hair and pressing a few firm kisses to the nape of his neck, already fully aware that Neil’s entire plan to end up wrapped tightly in Andrew’s arms — had worked perfectly. even if he’d gone about it in the most shameless way possible.
the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad
Andreil study
What most people forget is that when Andrew calls Neil a junkie, he does not mean he's addicted to Exy. By 'junkie', he literally means that Neil chases the adrenaline rush that comes with the close calls and impossible plays, which is also how he 'plays life'.
Aaron's the type of guy to diagnose people in his mind. Like he's learned about neurodivergence and he subconsciously puts diagnoses to people. He recognizes signs of autism in Andrew, and even though they aren't always on the best terms, he wordlessly accommodates him. He sees signs of autism in Kevin as well, so he's more blunt with him. More to the point, because he knows Kevin struggles with social nuance. With Nicky he's started carrying around a fidget to hand him when he's extra all over the place. And it took Nicky months to clock it. And he pretends not to care about Neil, but Neil is important to Andrew so he's important to Aaron. He sees the ADHD and the autism and starts accommodating in little ways. Less eye contact, less comments on how Neil is always moving, more mindful of his volume around Neil when he can see he's already overstimulated. Nothing big, wouldn't want Neil knowing he cares even a little.
sometimes I think about how Wymack made the foxes because he never wanted another kid to go through what he did only for his own son to qualify. and then i stare into the sun
ilya promising children cash if they win knowing he's gonna let them win and then asking shane for money because he doesn't have his wallet. he wasn't even an annoying husband yet but he was letting shane know his potential
let's think of some Bits in the Hollander-Rozanov household because every good relationship needs incomprehensible and insufferable Bits:
the random Russian nouns as pet names, obviously
turning to Anya to arbitrate who won the race/loads the dishwasher correctly/scored a sexier goal etc
Ilya. Ilyusha. Ilyushenka. Ilyushenkechka.
and who won Rookie of the Year????
"I have never said this in my life"
threatening to tell Yuna
"pass me the remote?" — "come and get it" — [wrestling]
butt slapping. at every opportunity.
"we will have to shoot you like lame horse" when one of them gets so much as a papercut
idioms translated literally into the wrong language
"this is not hall of fame behaviour"
"who should I bring as my plus one" and listing random people while the other pouts
If Ilya does ever figure out that Shane's autistic it'll be through something so stupid. Like he's scrolling through TikTok one night because he can't sleep and he comes across this video that's like 'Dear autism community: rate this spoon'. And there's this whole reveal where they unwrap it from a cloth so he's expecting the fanciest spoon he's ever seen and then they reveal it and he's so disappointed to find it's just... a normal fucking spoon.
He thinks this must be a joke so he goes to the comments, and sure enough it's absolutely full of people who not only seem to think this spoon is worthy of rating in the first place, but who seem to have very strong opinions on what makes it a good or bad spoon. To Ilya a spoon is a spoon is a spoon. It's absolutely baffling to him that people seem to think the handle looks like it's not weighty enough, or that the shape of the bowl is wrong, or that it's too flat or too square. He opens the playlist of cutlery rating videos because surely this can't be the norm, and sure enough every single one has a comment section full of very strong opinions about how good or bad this normal fucking fork or knife is.
And then a memory returns to him, as he looks over at his peacefully sleeping husband, of Shane moving in and having to get rid of all his cutlery to replace it with his.
"Sorry, I know it's stupid, but yours are really bad to hold, baby. It's literally all I can think about every time I eat here."
And Ilya didn't mind at the time. So Shane likes his own cutlery better? That's a small compromise when Ilya doesn't have strong feelings about silverware in the first place. But now things are beginning to click, and he's beginning to draw a line between the opinionated spoon people and the day he had to drive his cutlery to the nearest goodwill.
Ilya spends the rest of the night reading about autism and suddenly there's so much more that's beginning to make sense. He doesn't know how he'll bring it up with Shane – if he'll ever bring it up with Shane – but for how it's good to know.
Obsessed with the idea of Shane randomly encountering Bad Bunny at a bar just like he encountered Rose. (Because he has the BEST luck.)
But he doesn't know who Bad Bunny is, and Bad Bunny doesn't know who Shane is... So they're both just making small talk with this hot guy they met at the bar while they wait for their drinks. They're enjoying talking to someone who doesn't know their celebrity status. And Shane is getting a little flustered despite being married, because damn if this guy isn't his type, and Bad Bunny is lowkey flirting with him.
And then Ilya shows up and has a heart attack. Alternating between fanboying over Bad Bunny and wanting to fight him. Just standing there frozen with this bonkers expression on his face.
And Shane is completely oblivious. "Hey, you're back! I ordered you a beer. Oh, and this is Benito. Benito, this is my husband Ilya........... Baby, are you okay? Why do you look like that?"
You guys don't get how Slavic Ilya looks to a person who grew up in Russia, that mf looks like a big chunk of my old classmates and friends. I don't mean his talking because he sounds like he learned Russian as a teenager from old sitcoms.
I mean the fucking pout and frown, the way he's so grumpy despite liking someone, the way he calls shane by his second name because he's scared itll be too personal, the way he can't keep his mouth shut during sex, especially those little bits of hair by the side of his face, like BRO whoever did the casting for Connor storrie did a fucking amazing job (I'll personally eat their ass) because when I first watched the show I was like 'oh second gen russian immigrant, my bro' then I found out that mf is from Texas 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
“This, isn’t worthless.”
“There is no ‘this’. This is nothing.”
“And I am nothing. And as you’ve always said, you want nothing.”
― Nora Sakavic, The King’s Men
remember this post when tbc comes out
(ft this masterpiece that always makes me cry by @feluart)
neil BOSSten