Keep swimming, I guess

-23 summers on this planet -Brazilian🇧🇷 -Pansexual🏳️‍🌈 -She/they -AuDHD -Here just for the fun of it -Currently hyperfixating in AFTG

[flyingkoalaandsloths]

Do you think Kevin relates to Cassandra - cursed to telling the truth but no one to believe him

[iwriteonthisone]

Hey so did you know that these takes can all be true at the same time?

1) Kevin was valid for keeping Neil's secret from Andrew.

2) Andrew was valid for his reaction to that (Neil was in MORTAL DANGER and Andrew was powerless and terrified and grieving and his best friend KNEW ABOUT IT AND DIDN'T TELL HIM *UNTIL* ANDREW WAS SCARED AND PETRIFIED AND POWERLESS AND GRIEVING).

3) Kevin DID NOT deserve that reaction (He has been mourning Neil since the moment he got to know the real him!!! In his mind, there was nothing that he could do against the might of the literal japanese mafia. Nathan Wesninski HIMSELF had fucking cops in the palm of his hands AND the approval of said japanese mafia to take Neil and do WHATEVER. And you think a 20 year old Andrew Minyard would have saved him? They would have died together!!! They had all already lost the fucking battle before it even started, and Kevin was the first to know. If not for Stuart Hatford's coincidental assasination plan, Neil Josten would have been a dead man point blank period).

So like... it's completely valid to say that you would choke someone too if you were in Andrew's place, but also, the someone wouldn't have deserved it. You still would though because feelings are irrational and, being Andrew, you have grown up your entire life knowing, deep to your core, that violence is the only way that people have ever listened to you. Has a "no", or even a "Please no" ever helped?

And being Kevin, this is terrible on all sides. You were powerless from the start. You lost your mother, had only her sport for a token, and instead got raised by vile people who abused you using that sport. And then you left. And then they followed you. And you knew this was it. You knew your best friend could not simply handle this fact, and you knew he would hurt you over it, but you did it anyway because what's better? A dead Andrew who tried or an alive Andrew who's betrayed?

You guys do realise that similar logic was used with Jean right? Kevin knew that Jean was going through fucking hell, but he still wanted an ALIVE Jean. That's why he did it all, even though he knew Jean would hate him for it. "Kevin wasn't there for Jean" Kevin sent Jean to the trojans. What would Jean have done if he stayed with Kevin? Watched him wallow in his own alcoholism? Kevin wasn't equipped to help Jean, and he fucking knew it. He sent him to people who could. And was he wrong?

Basically, the discourse over this scene is fucking insane lmfao like it doesn't need to be had. Both characters were valid, they both had their own points of view, and they both STILL love each other to bits by the way. Why are we fighting over something that has Been coexisting?

[iwriteonthisone]

It's so funny when people get mad at Kevin for not telling Andrew the truth about Neil immediately because like. What did you think would have happened right after that? Andrew goes to rescue Neil? They'd both get killed. Andrew goes to Wymack and they call the cops? The cops were on Nathan's side, remember? "Nathaniel flicked a cool look at the cops, who were studying him with blatant interest and zero remorse. "How much do my father's people pay you to break your oaths?"

"More than the state does," the older officer said. "Don't take it personally."

"I have to," Nathaniel said, voice hoarse with pain and hatred. "It's my life."

Andrew simply just... knowsss the truth now? Not Kevin's place to tell. Also a good way to brew distrust between him and Neil. And you know what Neil does when he doesn't trust someone? He leaves. You know what Neil would have done if he felt like Andrew was now going to potentially put himself in Nathan's way for Neil? He would have left to keep Andrew safe. Andrew is now well-prepared for when Neil gets kidnapped? Again... and then what? He grabs Neil's hand extra tightly? Warns everyone that Nathan's men are coming? Nathan's men come anyway, and they gun Neil's friends down. They literally threatened Neil with doing it. They sent them to the hospital by causing that divergence, and that was them being "nice."

Basically, stop blaming 20 year olds for not being brave enough in the face of the fucking mafia lmfao.

[whatthebleep]

AFTG x Greek Mythology

Descriptions and reasoning can be found HERE and HERE.

[venus-aster]

An AU where Mary Hatford, soon after giving birth, abandon Abram in front of a house in order to protect him form her family and his father’s legacy.

With the baby, A simple letter:

"Don't look for us. It's better if he never knows us. I trust you. Take care of him." With that, a birth date: 19th of January.

Mary Hatford choose the house carefully. She knows the man is far from perfect, but she knows perfection is a lie.

Sometimes, trying is enough.

/ / / / /

David Wymack is an alcoholic, a bad influence and a troublemaker.

He's not someone you will trust with a child.

So why on earth is a baby on his doorstep?!

Wymack doesn't know what to do. It will be better if he calls child protection but, the child's soft noises stops him.

The baby is small, fragile and really calm, but his eyes are so blue. He can't look away.

He takes the small infant in his arms and, with a trembling voice, asks.

"I think 'Neil' can be a good name for you, w-what do you think ?"

The baby looks at him and wiggles with happy noises.

Wymack can't help but smiles.

David Wymack isn't supposed to be a father, yet he will try to be one.

/ / / / / / / /

When Kayleigh Day discovered her pregnancy, she was scared.

Not to be a mother, but to trap the man she loved in fatherhood.

So she lied. She did the journey alone and she became the single mother of a wonderful little boy.

Kevin.

It's being 3 years now.

She hasn't seen David since.

Until they run through each other at the mall.

"Ohw- Sorry"

" No worr- David !"

"Wh- Kay ??"

"What are you doing here ?"

"I-"

"Mommy? Can I see the mister's baby ?" Kayleigh frozes and looks at Kevin, his beautiful 3 years old Kevin, who is next to a stroller. A stroller in David's hand. In the stroller, a baby with auburn hair and blue eyes looks at them with curiosity.

"You have a kid ?" Kayleigh doesn't recognise her own voice.

"Yes... his name's Neil. He's one. To be honest, he was kind of a surprise for me !" David laughs lightly while Kayleigh's whole world was falling apart.

"Who's the mother ?"

"The hell if I know."

"What ?"

"He was on my doorstep. I don't even know if he's related to me." Kayleigh is confused.

"Then, why ?"

David shrugs, then, with an absent smile, affectionately ruffles the hair of Neil, his son.

"I don't know... I think I needed a good reason to become better and, be a father is a good one, no ?"

David looks at her, a sweet, calm smile on his face. Guilt and regret creep into her like poison.

She could have spent the last three years with him, and now she can only blame herself. But she refuses to regret it, because she can still make things right.

She smiles at him.

"An excellent reason."

She can still have David in her life.

Kevin can still have a father, even if it's three years too late.

And when she sees Neil, playing quietly with his stuffed rabbit in his stroller, she thinks that a second child isn't such a bad idea after all.

----

Or, what if Wymack had a chance to be a father and Kayleigh, a chance to give his son one ?

[crushed-oranged-angered]

Neil isn’t trying to be funny and Neil doesn’t know he’s funny

Drugged Andrew is trying to be funny and Drugged Andrew knows he’s funny. Sober Andrew isn’t trying to be funny and Sober Andrew knows he’s funny

Jeremy is trying to be funny and Jeremy isn’t really sure if he’s funny

Jean sometimes tries to be funny and Jean knows he’s funny

Kevin has never tried to be funny in his entire life. Exy isn’t a joke. Step onto the court, what do you see?

[devi-lishly]

Back with more OCD Kevin after talking about it with @spindellilja about this post

To me, Kevin's compulsions don't fit the stereotypical OCD stereotype of being "tidy and meticulous." I think his behavior manifests more as a way for his brain to take patterns, mistakes, routines, and expectations and turn them into rules he feels he must follow.

The repetitive exercises are a prime example. I don't see it simply as "Kevin works hard because he's ambitious." He's obviously ambitious, but there's another dimension to it. I think there are times when stopping would make him uncomfortable. It's as if his brain is telling him he hasn't done enough, that he hasn't properly corrected the mistake, that he hasn't done it right yet. It stops being about improvement and becomes an attempt to silence that feeling that something is unfinished.

I also think many of his compulsions are mental in origin. Kevin is someone who seems to get stuck on things. A mistake, a bad interaction, a decision he made... his brain keeps going over it, trying to figure it out. I don't get the impression that he's someone who can easily say, "That happened, it was awful, but it's over now." I think his mind would still be searching for what he missed or what he could have done differently.

The intrusive thoughts also worry me a lot. I don't think Kevin's OCD is necessarily obvious to those around him because so much of OCD is internal. Someone can appear very calm while their mind is secretly racing. I can easily imagine Kevin having moments when he needs to shut himself off because his thoughts are too overwhelming and he needs time for the anxiety to subside.

As for why I think he has OCD, the truth is it's about many small things that accumulate. It's not "Kevin is a perfectionist, therefore he has OCD," because that's a very simplistic view of OCD. It's more the intensity behind it. The way he can't let go of things. The way mistakes seem to haunt him. The way he needs things done right goes beyond simply wanting to do them well.

I also think his personal history makes this interpretation very interesting. Trauma can certainly affect how OCD symptoms present, and there are trauma-related presentations of OCD that are discussed. Given the environment Kevin grew up in and the amount of pressure and fear he experienced, I think he's very susceptible to developing those kinds of patterns.

And honestly, autistic coding is another important aspect for me. Kevin exhibits very autistic coded behaviors, and OCD and autism often present together. They're not the same thing at all, but there are commonalities, such as getting stuck in patterns, needing things to feel right, difficulty shifting attention away from thoughts, and intense focus. In Kevin's case, I think the combination of his autistic coding, his trauma, and the way his brain seems to hold onto things makes OCD seem like a very natural interpretation.

Basically, I don't see Kevin as "a perfectionist who happens to be anxious." I interpret him as someone whose brain is constantly trying to find certainty and control, and that's something very different

[weralika]

so you know how Andrew likes to do small gestures without really saying anything.

it's five years since Andrew graduated and Neil is still not over Kevin moving to the opposite side of the country half a year ago. And if Neil starts finding newspapers with Kevin Day articles around their shared flat it doesn't actually mean anything. even if he finds exy and foxes themed stickers in his drawer it's... whatever.

there re some new photos attached to their fridge door, shiny selfies Neil s never seen before, some landscape photos, meal snaps. they feel personal, too, like they were meant for someone who specifically asked for them, Kevin's smile on his selfies is always tired but real and familiar.

it's strange that there're two copies of each photograph, as if someone wants the other copy to disappear, because why would you need 2 of each in the same place, it's ridiculous. and for some reason they disappear one by one, so nobody can notice the change. the fridge door looks more empty every morning and Andrew stares at the vacant place with a smile too gentle and satisfied to be fake. whatever.

[nikoco11]

maiden in need of rescue!!! what a horrible terrifying dragon!!!!

[nikoco11]

for anyone curious she is not a princess!!! though she might act like one sometime :3c

[azaablue]

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.

[chaoticgremelin]

Kevin and Andrew, whose mothers were murdered in a car crash. Neil whose mother died while driving.

Andrew, who murdered his own mother. Kevin and Neil whose mothers were murdered.

Neil and Andrew, who in a certain way were freed by their mother's death. Kevin, whose mother died so he could be caged once and for all.

Kevandreil, my beloved

[100493503004422]

growing up I was always afraid of being Found Out. not sure what I was hiding. just my whole self I guess

[cutecipher]

how it feels to be stressed out almost 100% of the time

[chaoticgremelin]

Kevin Day

[ronnyly]

Kevin Day

[weralika]

I mean you can and you should bully Kevin for being weird about his friends, jerking off listening to them getting freaky in the next hotel room to his, but it's actually his friends who keep the window open so the sounds pour through, it's them who keep having the conversation about "what if he hears us" and moaning particularly loud after "wouldn't you like that, huh?"

[exylover32]

while i understand the viewpoint that kevin would have a healthier relationship with someone who wasn't involved in the exy world, i think knowledge of exy is a prerequisite for understanding who kevin is as a person. someone who knows nothing/little about the sport could never truly understand him. and that knowledge could be acquired later, but its absence would create a large barrier to entry into anything more than a surface-level relationship.

[jjmaybe]

i feel like Wings by Iluka is like- Kevin when he finally heals from the nest and Riko. Moreso the chorus and bridge than the verses, but like

"the crowd threw me out for the kill

told me how to dress and how to feel

they held me down but I learned how to heal

look at me, look at what I built"

And

"my wings grew back, and theirs never will"