ok

Casey, 32, NYC, perfect.

[targetedknowledge]

[l-ultimo-squalo]

Digital painting by Cassie Allis

[lakevida]

ok well if i can be vulnerable with you for a moment theres a hole in the floor at work and i dont know if it drains to anywhere but i do know ive been pouring old coffee down it for about three weeks now

[lakevida]

a coworker saw me do it today and her expression was unreadable

[muntzerism-diggerism]

Best part of following this account is that there's a new Ogre Blowjob Hell once every two months

[chillyfeetsteak]

[skeezels]

Chalk is squids road.

[communismlives]

[birdluvr1993]

whip cream

[mono-red-menace]

this is, by far, the most impactful imageset on this website

[antigoneprogone]

[scoffs] You couldn't PAY me to jack off to Brian Griffin! [remembers the state of the economy] Well, you could, but it would have to be a four figure amount. [remembers to be honest to myself] Three figures. [remembers not to devalue my own labor] Four figures.

[slimetony]

I dont knowwww

[pjackk]

Men are alowdd to be ugly since they are all #ExpendableWarriors

[baradragon]

notice how everyones 30 now

[spaghettiwoman46]

Ugh they are always doing this

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Little freaks

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

if i was in an alien movie i'd be luring the xenomorph into a hot wok and adding chili, garlic, ginger, shaoxin wine, scallions, white pepper and sesame oil

[memorycycle]

he stole 1 penny from her hot dog cart and she chased him across the world and her hot dog cart sat there and nobody touched it out of respect

[memorycycle]

the hot dog stand was there for 100 years and nobody touched it out of respect and the rain didnt rain on it and the wind didnt blow it and time didnt decay it and 100 years later when she got her penny back the hot dog stand started coughing and the neighborhoods kids said whats wrong and it started coughing and said i dont have much time left and they said no and the hot dogs started smelling bad and the kids cried and the kids started smelling bad and the candles started smelling gioood

[catboymuqing-moving]

sims 4 patch notes will be like “fixed an issue where harvesting carrots caused toddlers to explode” then you load the game and all your sims are bald

[oasisbreakup]

[earthdad]

ok but give me one good reason why you wouldn’t date Kermit the frog besides that he is a puppet and a frog

[turtlegirl521]

“miss piggy would make it look like an accident”

[unfavorableinstigation]

This keeps going past on my dash and I can’t let it go any longer. It’s time to see the record straight.

Miss Piggy doesn’t have a subtle bone in her floppy felt body. There is no possible way she could ever make it look like an accident.

Miss Piggy would make you into an example.

[frogmood]

500 years from now there’s gonna be some film historian who’s entire career is built off of searching for a copy of goncharov

[rainstormyday]

and they're never gonna find it cuz they fucking took it off poob

[anchovy]

I really like it when horses look like this

[dogpuppy]

mr. beast in 2008