I cannot stand obnoxious couples. You know the ones; they’re all over each other to the point you wanna spritz them with a bottle of water and tell them to heel. Can’t stand them.
But I want that for Chrissy and Eddie.
Chrissy, who’s douche canoe of an ex cared more about appearances than her own feelings. Kisses on the cheek because, cmon babe think about what people will say behind our backs. A strategically placed arm around her shoulders that felt more controlling than loving.
Was it too much to ask for hand holding and hugs?
With Eddie? Oh absolutely not!
Eddie is already obnoxious as it is. But when he and Chrissy start dating? Dial it up to a ten and lets make people even more uncomfortable!
Between each passing period he will run down the hall shouting her name and once he’s in front of her at her locker, ends up with his hands on his knees wheezing. Chrissy, bless her heart, is always concerned for a brief moment before Eddie slides his palms over her cheeks and proclaims loudly for the rest of the student body to hear that he missed her and needs a kiss or he’ll for sure perish this time. Like the last three periods. Chrissy will blush but smiles into the kiss every single time because deep down she likes it.
Eddie does not allow her to hide away at lunch. Practically begs her to sit with him and his friends. She obliges because his friends are actually nice and kind to her but she has nowhere to sit except for Eddie’s lap. Nevermind that there’s always an extra chair at the table but Eddie swears up and down that there’s no more seating and he wouldn’t be a good boyfriend if he didn’t offer his lap as a seat to his darling, beautiful girlfriend. Chrissy obliges to that too because she likes his arms around her waist and the way he playfully whispers in her ear even though his friends are. sitting. right. there. Hello?
When they walk together in the hallways, they’ll hold hands and swing them back and forth in a long arch. Sometimes Eddie will twirl her around just to make her laugh and other times he’ll ask her why she’s hitting herself when he pushes their joined hands toward her hip so that the back of her hand is always hitting her.
And see I want Chrissy to feel emboldened to be a little more obnoxious about her relationship with Eddie as well. Like she’ll come up to him with a huge pout on her lips to remind him he hasn’t given her kisses—even though he makes sure to each passing period—and he’ll gasp dramatically and beg forgiveness by peppering her face with kisses till she’s satisfied.
Or if she’ll see him in passing and call out to him so that once he focuses on her she’ll blow him a loud kiss, a huge mwah out of her mouth, and he’ll swoon and collapse to the ground disrupting the people walking around him.
And like the collective student body is already tired of their obnoxiousness but they don’t care that they’re that couple.
And I want that for them.
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