DelusinalDreamer

Delusional is spelled wrong on purpose, I don’t remember what purpose though… I write fanfics for black butler, its all I ever think about. Occasionally analyze stuff, occasionaly have funny thoughts. That’s pretty much it : D

[delusinaldreamer19]

☆ Intro post ☆

Hello! Welcome to my blog. Here’s a little about me,

General stuff:

I’m cis fem irl, but online I prefer they/them since I don’t feel the need to attach a gender to myself & would like to be viewed more neutrally with my little ghost persona. But don’t be surprised if I say things like “I’m just a girl!”

19 year old college student, who’s energy and motivation are as inconsistent as my grades.

About me:

I have ADHD

I suck at spelling. Auto correct is my biggest opp.

I'm an equestrian 🐴

I yap like a mf

I am a maladaptive daydreamer. Meaning that I have extensive, sometimes (more often then not) compulsive, daydreams that are very vivid and can last for hours on end. That’s what my user name is referring to.

I've been so aggressively hyperfixated on Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji for the past 6 years it's not even funny.

What's on my blog?

A lot of my daydreams revolve around black butler, whether it's the characters interacting or story lines I've come up with. And I've discovered that writing them out helps me from becoming so enwrapped in them, sort of like getting it out of my system. CASE AND POINT I have a few fanfictions :)

Fanfic masterlist

Other then that,

I sometimes have funny thoughts

I sometimes like to make long analytical rants about things in black butler

Announce updates for my works on Ao3

Fanfic Recs

Things of note:

While my blog features some suggestive comments or jokes, I don’t personally post/write smut.

⚠️I do not ship Sebaciel ⚠️ I don’t like it, but I can’t stop those who do from liking or commenting on my posts or following me, I just ask that you don’t bring it into anything I post. ie. no tagging as Sebaciel or rebloging/commenting in favor of it. The same applies to interaction with my fanfics.

[maisiemp3]

god forbid somebody ask what happens in black butler and then i gotta bust out all this

[maisiemp3]

black butler is so damn weird about its storytelling like does that ever hit you

[maisiemp3]

like okay it’s posited as the story of a boy hunting down his family’s killers and yet every single arc has been about stuff that isn’t that. it’s not even on the back burner it’s just straight up not what they do in the show. instead each arc puts said boy into a new situation designed to show the effects of his neuroses for reasons we won’t fully understand until the halfway point of the series. in the meantime enjoy a curry competition and a cricket tournament. there’s also a big scary threat looming over the boy but he’s not the villain he’s actually technically the protagonist and he’s chill for now. none of this has been even tangentially related to seeking his family’s killers. just when you start to really wonder where all this is going BAM a reveal that recontextualizes absolutely everything we thought we knew about the boy. not about the family murders though. btw it turns out the Plot actually kinda started with the zombie titanic because it first laid the narrative groundwork for all This. what is This you ask? well we’ve reached a point where there’s more post-reveal story than pre-reveal story and we still have no idea. coming up on 20 years, a majority of which has been post-world’s-biggest-twist, we have no motive for who we must assume to be the villain of the current decade-long arc, not to be confused with whoever killed the kid’s parents, which is still entirely unexplored. it’s an action show it’s gloomy horror they invented jpop in late victorian britain

[delusinaldreamer19]

Me when I realize I actually did finish the next chapter of Of All the Unexpected and post if after leaving the fanfic for dead for over a year 😶

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

But uh yeah! I’m back from the milk store!

[rottenlamb-13]

a picture of Kuro fandom waiting for Yana Taboso to explain the 181377244629 unresolved mysteries, address multiple plot threads, and the main character’s actual name

[delusinaldreamer19]

Hoping that my fav kuro fanfic author is doing okay 🤍

I’ve been alright! Still alive at least lol, I’ve been slammed with school work as I do my best to be an academic weapon 💪 but as the song goes “there ain’t no rest for the wicked” so I don’t rlly have too much time or energy to write at the moment.

I would love to get back to writing my fanfics for Kuro, however my hmmm “creative juices” have been more in favor of my original story which I haven’t/have yet to post anywhere.

I might post that first, I might finish Of All the Unexpected first, I may drop off the internet before either of those things happen, we’ll just have to see!

[cosmoa]

"Yes my lord"🥀🥀

[rottenlamb-13]

Can't wait to see ciel in the smoking room next chapter

[delusinaldreamer19]

“It contributes to the fuck-ass skanky vibe of their relationship”

- My sister about a post titled ‘why Ciel being a minor is crucial’

[cangrellesteponme]

hello hannah nation. today i offer you two sketches

[delusinaldreamer19]

Me finally updating Of All the Unexpected (WHICH I WILL DO IM WORKING ON IT I SWEAR) will be like that one meme of the lady going “👋hey….hey….how y’all doing” with dramatic music in the back ground.

Also time has skipped I swear to god. It doesn’t register in my brain that I really stopped being active for the most part on Tumblr for the last few months. Back in April I was really hoping the release of the new season would reignite my energy to engage with the fandom, but I was just not in the best place mentally upon its release, so that unfortunately did not playing out. My sensitive brain wires got all tanged and I needed the time to sort them out again.

I’m doing MUCH better now and I’ve been itching to get back to my creative outlets as I’ve been able to set things up for myself very well for the foreseeable future :)

[stardustobserver]

If I promise to write bottom Sebastian with Wolfram, will people pay attention to my writing?

[bull-shit-suji]

**mild** spoilers for 217

i think this exchange will haunt me for the rest of my days. obviously this isn't the first time we've seen nonverbal communication between these two but. BUT. the familiarity. the ease with which ciel ducks behind sebastian, reminiscent of hiding behind his father's legs when he was younger. the little glance and nudge saying "i don't want to/can't deal with this right now, please take over". the way sebastian immediately just gets it and smiles so fucking fondly.

ohhhghgf the DICHOTOMY of the preceding interaction centering ciel's eyepatch, a stranger making light of something he's clearly sensitive about, only for him to instinctively seek safety within the person responsible for the accessory and what lies beneath it. if anyone needs me i'll be writhing on the floor in agony

[bull-shit-suji]

i'll acknowledge that this is more of a personal headcanon but i tend to picture sebastian as someone who at all times is just A Little off-putting. like yeah he can be big and scary when the moment calls for it, but it adds some extra flavor if he can't turn that off all the way.

you know when you meet someone new and kind of. get a Bad Vibe? that's him. he's eloquent and charismatic while being just expressive enough to avoid appearing too stoic or unattainably perfect, and you're like— oh cool what a competent Human Guy with worldly aspirations and flaws and shit.

and then you stare at him for a second too long. you catch his eyes and they're inexplicably empty, not like lights are off no one's home, but empty. there's just nothing there; no glint of sunlight when he smiles, no darkening when he scowls as the gardener uproots a nearby azealia bush. like meeting the gaze of a corpse whose features have been strung and contorted to mimic your own.

and everyone thinks you're crazy because bro what do you MEAN you're not rocking with earl phantomhive's fine ass butler?? he literally saved my cat when it got stuck in a tree AND did a cartwheel last week ?????

[iiuliamak]

bitter rabbit bestie! 🖤

[cangrellesteponme]

sometimes i think about the tension between the fact that the butler-master relationship does put sebastian in a pseudo-parental role for a very vulnerable, traumatised child and the fact that the contract is inherently predatory (and that is made worse by every aspect of its context)

this demon is the necessary toll his vengeance takes, but part of ciel probably has such a hard time not to associate a butler with safety, because it must have been how he was raised. his father's servants were trustworthy and ciel has always been safe at home - danger came from the outside. a master has to trust his servants, but sebastian is a beast that merely took the form of one.

after the unthinkable happened, and ciel came home, he learned to be the earl (and to be a person again), he healed just enough to function, and all of that was with sebastian by his side. sebastian cannot be dissociated from ciel's progress, just as he cannot be dissociated from his trauma.

it has to be hard to keep in mind that sebastian is dangerous (and is, actively, hurting him) when said demon is very much incapable of lying to him, betraying him, or letting any harm come his way. except he often makes it very clear he would do every single one of those if he could, and maybe he only doesn't do it because it's working in its favour for now, because he thinks it's worth it. and he stays true to that, except when he doesn't. except when he straight up tries to eat (betray, harm) his master.

but he obediently steps back into his role if he's satisfied so... not that bad, right? safe-ish? good enough for ciel to be clothed and fed and protected and lulled into a false sense of safety that is believable enough that he can fall asleep knowing someone is watching over him. he's being protected by the thing no one can protect him from. but that's fine.

[almostcoralpizza]

This butler in the tropics🌴