Just Another Day on Olympus...

[dem-sonz]

Dionysus: I may not live to see our glory!

Artemis: Shut up Dionysus you're immortal!

Apollo: *bursts into room* But I will gladly join the fight!

Artemis: Oh gods no.

Ares: *breaks through wall* And when our children tell our story!

Artemis: Stop.

Dionysus, Apollo, and Ares: They'll tell the story of tonight!

Aretmis: .... I hate you all.

[dem-sonz]

Dionysus' Summer Solstice Speech

Dionysus: First and foremost I'd like to thank myself for providing the best damn wine there has ever been- you guys better be grateful- and for the beautiful plays performed here tonight.

Athena: You drunkenly acting out our lives isn't a play.

Dionysus: I'd like to thank Apollo for the musical arrangements and the sun.

Apollo: Damn straight.

Dionysus: I'd like to thank Artemis for the wild boar we feasted on tonight and the moon.

Artemis: ... You're welcome?

Dionysus: I'd like to thank Hephaestus for the many wonderful gifts.

Hephaestus: Anything for my wonderful family.

Dionysus: I'd like to thank Aphrodite and Ares for not running off to go have a quicky every five minutes.

Ares: *mumbling to himself* I tried man, I tried.

Dionysus: I'd like to thank Hermes for delivering all the invitations in a timely manor, and not taking Demeter's bribe to "lose" Hades' invitation... although it was very tempting.

Hermes: I have some decency.

Dionysus: I'd like to thank Demeter for the fruits and grains.... and for letting Persephone actually sit with her husband for once.

Demeter: Look at what I do for all of you.

Dionysus: I'd like to thank Hades for showing up, and doing business as usual. Nice to see you bro.

Hades: Just happy to help. *Thank god I don't have to deal with them all the time, maybe the Underworld isn't so bad after all.*

Dionysus: I'd like to thank Poseidon for the seafood and water features.

Poseidon: Thanks, I worked really hard... and my stuff is better than Athena's right?

Dionysus: Thank you to Athena for the plethora of olive goodies and little words of wisdom in each goody basket.

Athena: ... Most of you could use it.... and the soap too *cough cough* Ares and Poseidon *cough cough*.

Dionysus: I'd like to thank Hera for not throwing a bitch for once.

Hera: ..... I will fight you.

Dionysus: And finally I'd like to thank Zeus- Lord of the Heavens, King of the Gods, Bearer of the Lightning Bolt, and our father- for banging all those women to get us here. Cheers!

[dem-sonz]

Dionysus: Man that was one awesome summer solstice.

Apollo: Best in centuries if I do say so myself.

[dem-sonz]

Hermes: I would just like to let you all know that April Fool's on Olympus was awesome.

Apollo: It was mostly you pranking everyone Hermes.

Hermes: Oh come on, don't lie and try to act all mature. You know I got you and Dionysus in on it too.

Dionysus: And dad, don't forget good old dad.

Hermes: We all obviously get it from Zeus. Hey, do you think Hera is still pissed off about what we did?

Apollo, Dionysus, Zeus: Yes.

[dem-sonz]

Dionysus: It's Valentine's day and love is in the air.

Apollo: Which means Zeus is going to sleep with one or more poor woman.

Artemis: And Hera's going to find out.

Hermes: And we're going to have to save him and the girl from her eternal wrath.

Athena: Yup. It's great being a child of Zeus.

[dem-sonz]

Groundhog's Day

Spring Team: Hera, Demeter, Aphrodite, Dionysus, Poseidon, Apollo, Artemis, Ares

More Winter Team: Zeus, Hades, Persephone, Hermes, Athena, Hephaestus

[dem-sonz]

Persephone: Technically you all can blame the cold weather on my dad. Sure my mom makes the crops die because she's upset, but Zeus makes it cold just for fun.

Zeus: *off on Olympus* hehehehe freeeeeze freeeeeze!

Persephone: He's a big troublemaker. You can all see where Hermes gets it from.

[dem-sonz]

Hades: So happy to have Persephone back. Sorry to all of you who don't like cold weather, but I love being with my wife.

[dem-sonz]

Hades: If you guys have been wondering where Poseidon and Zeus are, they're out making hurricanes while they still can.

Poseidon: *off in the distance* Awww yeaah!

Hades:... and they're way too excited about it.

[dem-sonz]

We three brothers, whom Rhea bore to Cronus, Zeus, myself, and Hades, Lord of the dead, Divided up the universe into equal shares. When we took lots, I got the grey sea As my eternal domain; Hades, the nether gloom; Zeus, the broad sky with clouds and bright air.

[dem-sonz]

Athena: If anyone has ever wondered if Hera and I still hold a grudge against Aphrodite-

Aphrodite: We're all great friends again.

Hera: *whispers* We still hate her.

[dem-sonz]

Hades: It gets kind of lonely down here during the months Persephone isn't here.

Hermes: At least you've got me :D

Hades: ..... I can't wait till Persephone comes back.

[dem-sonz]

Built by Hephaestus, the renowned master craftsman, The burly blacksmith with the soul of an artist.

[dem-sonz]

I am Dionysus of the noisy rites, whom Cademian Semele bore after joining in love with Zeus.

[dem-sonz]

Dionysus: Arty. Arty. Arty. Arty. Arty. Arty. Arty. Arty. Arty.

Artemis: I swear Dionysus, if you don't leave me alone-

Dionysus: Arty. Arty. Arty. Arty. Arty. Arty.

Artemis: *hits Dionysus' goblet of wine out of his hand*

Dionysus: Why would you do that? It was innocent! It died so young! *falls to knees before the spilt wine and cries*

Artemis: *sigh* I'm surrounded by drama queens.

Dionysus: WHHYYYY?

[dem-sonz]

Hermes: I would just like to point out the fact that Apollo commandeered a ship full of Creteans as a dolphin to get his priests at Delphi.

Apollo: You just HAD to tell everyone didn't you?

Hermes: ... Pretty much, you were a dolphin man.

[dem-sonz]

Apollo: You people know that I have hundreds of answers and prophecies ready to give you, all you have to do is ask. Ask me... please?

Artemis: *whispers* He's feeling a little useless... *whispers even more quietly* and being a bit of a whiner.

Apollo: I heard that Artemis! You're such a jerk!

Artemis: *sighs and rolls eyes* See what I mean? Drama Queen.