Dionysus' Summer Solstice Speech
Dionysus: First and foremost I'd like to thank myself for providing the best damn wine there has ever been- you guys better be grateful- and for the beautiful plays performed here tonight.
Athena: You drunkenly acting out our lives isn't a play.
Dionysus: I'd like to thank Apollo for the musical arrangements and the sun.
Dionysus: I'd like to thank Artemis for the wild boar we feasted on tonight and the moon.
Artemis: ... You're welcome?
Dionysus: I'd like to thank Hephaestus for the many wonderful gifts.
Hephaestus: Anything for my wonderful family.
Dionysus: I'd like to thank Aphrodite and Ares for not running off to go have a quicky every five minutes.
Ares: *mumbling to himself* I tried man, I tried.
Dionysus: I'd like to thank Hermes for delivering all the invitations in a timely manor, and not taking Demeter's bribe to "lose" Hades' invitation... although it was very tempting.
Hermes: I have some decency.
Dionysus: I'd like to thank Demeter for the fruits and grains.... and for letting Persephone actually sit with her husband for once.
Demeter: Look at what I do for all of you.
Dionysus: I'd like to thank Hades for showing up, and doing business as usual. Nice to see you bro.
Hades: Just happy to help. *Thank god I don't have to deal with them all the time, maybe the Underworld isn't so bad after all.*
Dionysus: I'd like to thank Poseidon for the seafood and water features.
Poseidon: Thanks, I worked really hard... and my stuff is better than Athena's right?
Dionysus: Thank you to Athena for the plethora of olive goodies and little words of wisdom in each goody basket.
Athena: ... Most of you could use it.... and the soap too *cough cough* Ares and Poseidon *cough cough*.
Dionysus: I'd like to thank Hera for not throwing a bitch for once.
Hera: ..... I will fight you.
Dionysus: And finally I'd like to thank Zeus- Lord of the Heavens, King of the Gods, Bearer of the Lightning Bolt, and our father- for banging all those women to get us here. Cheers!