Hello everyone! I hope you all enjoy the content I write, not only fanfics, but also songs, poems, headcanons, imagines, one-shots and AUs, all based on things I love and maybe you do too <3
Lately I've been writing a lot about (rpf) 5 Seconds of Summer, but I'm also interested in One Direction and Waterparks.
────˖ ݁MASTERLIST 5SOS ݁˖────
My Wattpad: @DemiLukeh
Pinterest boards: here
Playlists: here
Requests are open.ᐟ
I can write about crackships, multiships, fluff, fights/violence, mental problems, toxic relationships—basically the kind of interesting stuff that happens in any indie movie lol.
(no smut, no ships between minors and adults, no religious content, no torture, no heavy NSFW content in general)
Hehe can you write a smutty calum hood talking you through it imagine…..
.𖥔 ݁ ˖BABYDOLL.𖥔 ݁ ˖
︵Calum Hood x afab!reader◌Ⳋ𝅄── by DemiLuke
#|Fanfic #|Smut #|Friends to lovers #|BFM
Summary: You and Calum were close friends, you used to visit him at his house often to "talk about music," but this time you did something very different.
Warnings: NSFW, Smut, rpf, Calum dom, fingering, cock riding, unprotected p in v.
A/N: I don't know if it's very similar to the request, but I hope you like it anyway. Sorry it took so long, my brain works at 4fps.
Word count: 1.5k
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You two were sitting on the sofa in Calum's living room, as you did every Friday when he went to record or practice his songs. Sometimes you ended up doing completely different things. There was a certain level of trust between you, enough to wander through conversations and how you used your time. Sometimes you would start cooking dinner when you stayed overnight at his house, or you would start watching TV because you ended up talking about a really good series that, according to him, you should also watch.
Sometimes you did everything but argue about music, but that was fine because at the end of the day you both felt satisfied, even though they had wasted time together. But this time was different...
That day you arrived at his house and found him in his living room, lying on his sofa. The living room lights were off; only the natural daylight was coming in. For a moment you even thought Calum wasn't home until you approached and recognized his figure among the rumpled sheets above him, taking a nap shirtless and hugging a pillow.
You couldn't deny it, being in his house and seeing him like that made you feel some intimacy between the two of you, maybe because there was some.
You sat down next to him and waited a while; sleepiness was starting to affect you too, it was contagious perhaps, and you would have ended up lying down next to him if he hadn't woken up first.
"What are you doing here, babe?" His voice still sounded husky as he sat up, running a hand over his face, but you could tell he was familiar with the situation.
"I-" The words wouldn't come out. Calum was making you nervous. Of course there was tension between the two of you, even if you wouldn't admit it. This was like throwing gunpowder on a fire that was already burning. "I came because... well, today is Friday." You had already lost sight of the original purpose of the visits; you only did it to see Calum, and he always invited you to see him, simple.
"Seriously...? Damn, I didn't realize what time it was, forgive me, beautiful." He stretched, still sitting, and ran a hand over the back of his neck. He wasn't as affected as you, but he knew exactly what he was doing. "Don't you want to come over for a while? I think it would be a good way to spend the day." He joked, but you seriously considered it.
His relaxed expression was replaced by one of understanding, he didn't mind you "invading" his personal space. Calum never said it, but he wanted you close most of the time.
You were stiff on the edge of the sofa next to his outstretched legs. He took you in both hands and pulled you closer to him, saying nothing; it wasn't necessary for now. He hugged you from behind; he was still warm from being wrapped up for so long. His skin gave you a feeling of tranquility you couldn't explain.
"Sorry... I... I don't think this is a good idea, Calum. First of all, I shouldn't have barged in like I owned the place." Only then did you start using your brain instead of your heart. "And... and don't you think it's weird that, being best friends, you call me 'love', 'darling', "babe'..." Your heartbeat was accelerating, yet Calum didn't move a muscle to let you go.
"If you don't like it, I'll stop." His tone was a little lower, his arms still gently embracing your neck. "But you know it's not just me."
Calum's face drew closer, pressing between your neck and shoulder. His movements weren't meant to be intrusive; they were gentle and comforting, a way of calming you down.
"Tell me the truth, don't you want it too?" Calum's voice was a whisper; part of him didn't want to say it, but on the other hand, he was tired of pretending they were just good friends so he could be with you. Now he had you in his arms and didn't want to let you go.
You tried to think about what was best at that moment, but Calum's hands caressing your arms wouldn't let you do it properly.
Cal positioned you between his legs, and you ended up lying against his chest. "Calum?" One of his arms was still around your neck, muffling your words against his skin.
His other hand slid down to lift your shirt to your collarbone. A blush crept across your face, but you didn't stop him. Soon you felt the liberating sensation of your bra unhooking. Calum removed it and set it aside.
"It's okay if I...?" His hand touched your soft skin, he didn't hold back but you could feel the slight tremor of his fingers as he grabbed one of your boobs.
"Yeah" His warm touch on your skin was intoxicating, but he didn't stop there.
"Then I'm going to slide my hand... and open you up a little." Just as he said, his hand went down to your pants, unbuttoned them, and put his hand all the way down. You felt his fingers warm your pussy; he was right on a sensitive spot, and he didn't hold back from putting three fingers inside you. The movement slowed down as he went deeper.
Your rapid breathing turned into gasps; you definitely hated—in a good way—the way his fingers withdrew from you, making you tremble. Every shred of composure or self-control was killed by the hickeys he left on your neck; his lips sucked as if trying to trap the warmth of your skin, leaving a trail of saliva when he finished.
Calum was entertained watching you twitch on top of him, but his mind was elsewhere, he wanted a piece of the pie too. "Is it too much to ask you to ride me? I know you're a little... 'weak' right now." His tone softened. "But I want to put it inside you and see you give it your all. Can you, babydoll?"
Your breathing was shallow as he withdrew his fingers again; you had heard what he had said, you just needed to catch your breath. Calum loosened his arm around your neck, didn't want to overwhelm you, so he let you relax for a second. Also he carefully readjusted your shirt and finished removing your pants so they wouldn't get in the way.
After a while, as their breathing tried to stabilize, you turned around to look at him. His cheeks were slightly flushed from the heat, a thin layer of sweat covered his entire body, and his eyes were fixed on you. There was no way you wouldn't want to continue, not when he looked so good.
"Kiss me"
"Wha-" Calum was still catching his breath; he hadn't expected your request so soon.
"Kiss me, now."
When you approached him to do what you asked, he didn't refuse, rather, he drew you closer. His left hand, placed on your cheek, slightly ruffled the hair that fell across your face, while his other hand caressed your thigh.
Your breath mingled with his as he moistened your face with each kiss, it was hot, but that wasn't enough, you needed more, especially when it came to Calum.
You heard his moan the moment he lifted you by the hips to mount his cock; he wasn't very careful, his thoughts were somewhat clouded at that moment. When you felt him enter you, a wave of heat washed over you. Cal's hands only gripped you, pulling you down further. You let yourself fall onto his sweaty chest, you needed it 'case u couldn't stay upright as he quickened his pace, lifting you up and then thrusting back in. It was hard for him to go fast because you were somewhat tight, but even so, it wasn't gentle at all.
"What happened, princess? Did you get tired so quickly?" Calum said, pressing his lips to your ear, you could feel his warm breath against your skin. His tone was a mixture of that usual familiarity and a romantic tenderness.
"I'm fine." Lie. You were melting on top of him, he hadn't even tried to stop when he was talking to you, which only made it harder to think of a response.
"No, you're not." He didn't just laugh a little, he planted a kiss on your cheek, almost an apology for what he was about to do.
Cal pressed your hips down, you could hear his breathing become ragged and turn into gasps, he wasn't holding back, he thrust his cock all the way in to fill you up, when he pulled it out again his movements became slower, not by choice but because he felt you trembling and scratching his skin, his cum had left you sticky, the sensation had you numb. You were looking for something to hold on to, but you couldn't quite grab onto his back, so they only ended up being harmless scratches for Calum.
The room filled with the sound of your screams and Calum's moans muffled by your hair. Who the fuck needed to talk about music when you could do something so much better?
Ngl I didn't like how PRETTY QUIET turned out when I finished writing it, but from what I've seen, you guys have DEVOURED it, so I guess I'm just an insecure bitch cuz I haven't liked anything I've written so far.
Also, I'll try to finish some requests today, but I think most of the time I'm going to be celebrating my bday.
Summary: You go out on a special date with Calum, but contrary to what you thought, you changed your plans halfway there.
Warnings: Smut, NSFW, rpf, Calum dom, unprotected p in v, fingering, semi-public sex.
A/N: It has nothing to do with it, but while I was looking for tag references, I came across a fic where the narrator ate his words. You guys don't know how much I love it when an English speaker does that, just hear me out.
And sorry if there are any mistakes, I also wrote this fic quickly. it's rather short so I didn't make a playlist for it.
Word count: 1.8k
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Calum came to pick you up at your house in his car. He doesn't usually use it because he's not in town, but this occasion was special; he wanted to see you.
From the window it seemed that the natural landscape blended with the sky because of the speed at which you were going, the wheels producing a constant sound against the pavement.
The radio was on for a while until you realized that "Moving Along" was playing. You looked at him to see his reaction, but he turned it off before you could say anything. He pretended to look towards the window on his side of the car, but you could see his cheeks turn red. He was embarrassed, and it was too cute.
A sweet smile appeared on your face but you didn't say a word, there was no need, this was all you needed, Calum enjoying the time by your side.
You traveled for a while along the lonely road until you stopped on the side.
The confusion didn't last long when you saw his face come closer to yours and give you a kiss on the jaw. He was gentle, his hand resting confidently on your thigh, giving you that security you were used to.
The shade of the trees in the forest beside the road cast a cool shadow on the car, you could hear them when the wind shook the calm of the day. The green complemented the blue of the clear sky. It was midday and the world kept turning, but inside that car, everything belonged to you.
"Do you really want to eat? 'Cause I really want to eat you right now." His sincerity pierced you like a dagger, Calum's voice was low and deep at that moment, different from how you heard him on television.
"I think lunch can wait a little while." The nervousness was accompanied by a genuine desire to be back in his arms, especially after receiving a small taste.
Calum's hand, which was on your thigh, slid to grab your hand and bring it to his lips, leaving a firm and loving kiss while looking into your eyes. Maybe it was difficult for him to say "I love you," but this was his best way of showing it to you, being patient, affectionate, and protective.
After a couple of minutes of shared calm and silence, in an environment that, although practically outdoors, felt private, Calum approached and positioned himself above you, just a second before reclining the seat, you fell along with it.
"Can you do something for me, sweetheart?" Calum moved away a little, giving you space, you'll need it. "Turn around"
You looked him straight in the eyes trying to figure out exactly what he wanted, if he wanted to take you from behind he would have simply asked you, but this time he asked for something more, something in parts.
"'Kay..." Your voice trembled as you turned the seat around, ending up face down.
"Now get on all fours." Cal gave you orders while observing every part of your figure, he was clear about it.
Your body was supported by your palms and knees, but you didn't stay like that for long because Calum began to push your torso down.
"Okay, now just breathe and... lean back a little more." His hand moved up your back with a soft, warm pressure, pressing your cheek against the seat, while his other hand held your hips up.
The strength in your arms faltered until the upper half of your body was practically surrendered to the seat, the lower half remaining up, leaving your ass in Calum's view.
Your legs buckled, you tried to adjust yourself in that position, your knees would have slipped down the leather seat if it weren't for Calum's hand.
You heard his low laugh, "Hey, trust me." He adjusted you again, this time with both hands, his movements patient, not rough for now. "I'm going to lift your skirt and I want you to stay very quiet, okay?" And he did as he said, his fingers moving to hold the edge of your dress and lift it up.
When he lifted it and pulled it towards your back, you were exposed, but Calum wasn't shy. He knew what he wanted and he had to do it to get it. "I know you can be a little noisy sometimes when I touch you... I'll be gentle, I promise."
His thumbs began to caress your pussy from top to bottom over the fabric of your panties, each time his touch sank deeper inside, he could feel your folds opening naturally due to the stimulation.
It was more difficult to regain your composure in that situation, you tried to obey Calum, but every caress made you shudder and your legs tremble.
The tension only increased when Calum carefully lowered you. "Are you ready, babe?"
His voice was a private whisper that could have been lost in the ambient noise around them, but you heard it loud and clear, and for a moment you tensed up, could you really resist it?
You nodded, squinting without realizing it, you didn't think about anything else.
Calum unzipped his pants and unbuttoned them slowly; you had all the time in the world. Following that, you clearly saw him lower his boxers enough to reveal his hard cock.
But his expression seemed calm compared to yours, which was attentive to every detail and almost desperate to have a little. It was enormous; you didn't even know how it would feel if he put it all the way in, but you were willing to find out with pleasure.
Cal took it in his hand to place it between your folds and then just plunged it inside you at least halfway, just to see if you could take it. You trembled and moaned, but you endured it like a good girl, so in a slow move he began to push it in deeper and deeper, becoming tight and wet as your folds let it in.
Only then did you understand why he had chosen that position, he wanted to have you at his mercy. Your cheek pressed against the seat muffled your moans. It wasn't enough to have you kneeling or on all fours; he wanted you surrendered and exposed. Calum's hands on your hips and buttocks were heavy and warm, holding you closer or pulling you away from time to time, slapping you when he tried a little harder than normal to get in or out of you because of how tight you were even though you were wet.
Calum loved seeing how soft and malleable you were in his hands, he massaged and caressed your ass without a problem and that only turned you on more, his thickness had you delirious.
He wanted to kiss you and bury his face in your neck, but he'd have time for that later; for now, he was more than happy just fucking you.
Your feet trembled as you tried to maintain strength in your legs to avoid collapsing, because Calum lifted you slightly to penetrate you, but this made it impossible to fully support yourself on your knees.
Your heart beat even harder than when it was racing, keeping you in constant tension and anticipation, an expectation that was fulfilled slowly and painfully, something your numb senses could only feel to the core and let themselves go.
When rhythm and sweat had taken over both of them, their movements became more careless and direct. Calum's hands freely grabbed your ass to separate you and pull out faster, only to put it back in a couple of seconds later.
"Fuck, I can't..." you gasped, you didn't have the strength in your arms to get up and settle yourself, a thread of saliva escaped from your mouth.
"Just a little more, beautiful" It sounded broken, Calum was clearly affected too, his grip was getting weaker, he ran his hand through his hair but it was impossible to hide that he was losing control.
At one point, one of his hands slid down to your waist and pulled your body towards his cock. Cal wasn't trying to be gentle anymore, he just needed to break you somehow because you looked so good like that, a mess, with your dress wrinkled and your eyes clouded, so fucking beautiful.
You let out a moan mixed with your ragged breath, only the shiver that ran through you made you realize the trickle spilling down your thigh, Calum had filled you with his cum.
He didn't stop, he thrust it back in from behind, a wave of heat hit you, you tried to stay on your elbows but it was impossible, your body felt heavy and your legs trembled as Calum fucked you deeper, a drop of sweat rolled from your forehead to the edge of your jaw, you were looking face down with your forehead against the leather of the seat, your gasps hit the material uncontrollably, you were losing it.
"Yeah, you're doing well... keep going a little longer." But ach of his thrusts shook you and left you breathless, even he was having trouble keeping up.
After a couple of minutes he finally gave up, he stayed upright by pure willpower, otherwise he would have collapsed and he didn't want to bother you, it had already been enough to leave you full and sore.
From the way his body relaxed and the low moan you heard from him, you assumed he was finished. You just let out a sigh when he pulled out; suddenly you felt empty without the warmth of his cock against your walls.
"I hope you're pleased 'cause I'm completely exhausted..." He sighed, his voice was warm, even a little animated, he wanted to make sure you were okay.
"Yes, I just need a break... and a shower." You sounded hoarse and breathless as you struggled to calm your breathing. The sex was over, but you were still sensitive and clingy, and you weren't the only one.
You put your panties back on, although now they were wet. Calum saw everything perfectly as he pulled up his pants, his skin was glistening with sweat and still warm, you even could see the bulge between his thighs.
His heavy hand anchored itself on the car window handle, when it opened, a cool breeze entered along with the white sound of the wind shaking the forest trees, Calum's breathing began to calm down.
You turned around to get some fresh air and finally relax, falling heavily, with your hair a little messy.
"Okay, then... we'll go back to your place and take a shower before going to dinner." He didn't even try to hide his smile, his stupid, cute smile.
Your eyes softened with affection and a smile also formed on your lips.
Speaking of lips, he brought his lips close to yours to trap you in a kiss, he definitely wasn't planning on letting you go.
Summary: Tired of a shitty job and the hectic city life, you run away to live with Michael in California after a year without seeing each other in person, almost a "blind date".
Warnings: Mention/representation of anxiety and panic attacks, NSFW, fluff and smut, Michael dom, explicit description of v, basically Michael eating and fingering your pussy. In case you don't like smut, I left a small divider at the part where the sex starts.
A/N: Please let me know if there are any spelling or translation errors. I wrote this quite quickly before I lost my inspiration and I no longer have time to read it completely again </3
Word count: 3.8k
𐔌 .Playlist ֹ ₊ ꒱
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A year had passed since you started dating Michael. You were very close friends, so at the time it seemed like an amazing idea, but then came the plans, work, and distance, and your relationship fell into a dark hole that was difficult to climb out of because you no longer knew how to talk to each other—because you had no idea how the other was doing—but you didn't want to break up either. Because regardless of the complications and awkward silences, you both knew that beneath it all there was something much more special, something that not even distance could erase. And if necessary, you would start from scratch, but breaking up wasn't an option.
Michael had made the decision to buy a house in LA, but he really didn't want to be there alone, so the idea just came to him, even though it was risky, He finally called you.
"Hey, I'm calling because I've been thinking for a while that maybe... you should move with me to Los Angeles. Before you say anything, I know New York is very far away and you can't be without a job, but I promise you I've thought of everything in case you accept"
"Michael, what are you talking about? It's six o'clock, I'm on the subway, y-you can't just drop a bomb like that." You were holding a couple of bags in both hands while trying to maintain your balance among the people and the movement of the train.
"Trust me." It also sounded like he was walking down the street. "...I know things have been kind of... quiet lately, but I'll be back in LA by spring because I bought a house there and I'll start moving very soon. But I eant you there, I need you with me.
You couldn't deny it, between work, the overwhelming nature of the city, and the high costs of housing and food, the idea of escaping with your boyfriend to the other side of the country sounded like a fantasy come true.
"I-I have a friend who can help you find another job, while you stay with me and help me with some things... I'm sorry, I don't mean to do this to you-" You could hear the hesitation and nervousness in his voice. "Just ignore me... I know it's still too soon and that you don't..."
You didn't know if it was because you had only slept three hours or because some idiot was digging his elbow into your ribs to make his way in the train car, but you responded without thinking enough
"Michael, look..." You lowered your head, almost surrendering. "Just give me some time to... quit."
Michael remained silent on the other end of the phone, prepared for a resounding "no" or maybe a "but," but instead she simply gave in and he needed to process it.
"Okay, Then I'll call you later" Michael's voice sounded a little higher because he was trying to hold back his emotions. "I love you"
You let out a breath that was like a silent laugh, the people and the train kept moving around you, but at least now you had the hope of seeing Michael again.
"Love ya too" The warm feeling in your chest remained there even after the call ended.
How could you give up on that person's love? It was crazy, but you were both crazy enough to try.
After some weeks, you were finally boarding a plane to LA. It was a radical change, especially in your lifestyle, because you felt disoriented without your routine.
The house Michael had bought was much bigger than you had imagined, inside, everything was filled with boxes and some disorganized furniture. The kitchen and other important things had already been set up, but the rest of the house felt strangely empty. On the second floor there was almost nothing except in Michael's room, there was the bed made up, a couple of sheets still in their packages, a newly placed vertical mirror, the empty closet and a couple of boxes around.
You were tired and the mattress seemed comfortable, but you had to buy food and other supplies to stock the house before your boyfriend arrived in the afternoon. You went back downstairs, didn't even change your clothes, and left the house–or rather, mansion–and walked for a while until you reached the nearest supermarket.
Everything felt like when you're woken up in the early morning to go on a trip to the beach, or like a Friday after a shitty week, light as a feather.
After shopping you walked around a bit looking at the neighborhood houses, the shade of the trees and bushes that decorated most of the houses around you gave you cool shade from the hot summer in the city.
You still couldn't believe you were actually moving in with your boyfriend, whom you hadn't seen for almost a year, but it actually felt right. Even before all this chaos started, Michael was a comfort in your life, someone you could turn to when you wanted to calm down and feel better. You used to lose sleep talking to him until late; he'd even text you at work or send you memes or silly videos.
You knew there was something bigger beneath those silly or simple conversations, and although it seemed invisible, that affection you had for each other was what drove the machinery of your relationship, in part, that is the main reason why you accepted this.
A car horn blared next to you.
"Shit!" Your heart almost jumps out of your mouth.
A black car was moving towards you, with the window down you saw him, Michael with a stupid smile on his face.
"Sorry, I wanted to break the ice. Come on, get in." He was wearing sunglasses and his blue plaid shirt, his hair slicked back because of the heat.
You just froze, you hadn't seen him in person for MONTHS and the jerk greeted you like this. Your immediate reaction was to drop the bags to the floor and cover your mouth, still not quite believing it.
"What are you...?" You could barely say it before your voice broke, so you remained silent for a second.
Michael had a smile of absolute happiness, seeing you like that, he opened the door and got out of the car, extending his arms to offer you a hug, trying to contain his own euphoria.
You immediately ran towards him, your arms wrapped around his abdomen and cheek pressed against his shirt, but especially, when he wrapped his arms around you, you felt that comfort you had missed and longed for so much.
"God, I thought you'd come later and I'd have more time. I..." You carefully pulled away from the hug so you could look him in the face. For a second, the words escaped your lips. You weren't ready to see those green eyes again. "...really missed you."
"Yeah, I can tell." Pure happiness shone in his eyes despite the simplicity of the moment. Michael pulled you back, took your shoulders, and kissed you. It was improvised, almost clumsy, but feeling his lips against yours again was a total dopamine rush. "I missed you too." He whispered near your mouth, wasn't provocative, but it was intimate.
When he finally returned to reality, he noticed the supermarket bags lying on the pavement. It was quick, went ahead and picked up two with one hand and the third with the other. You had completely forgotten for a second, before you could do anything Michael had already put them in the back seat of the car so you could sit next to him in the front.
"Come in, it's just a few meters from here to the house" He said, walking around the car to open the door for you.
Once inside the house, the empty space was filled with the sounds of the two of them: conversations about tidying up and decorating, the rustling of bags, and the scraping of furniture as it was moved. You no longer felt alone, maybe there were only two of you, but Michael filled the place with his mere presence, even when you were a person of few words.
After putting away the food and the rest of the bathroom, kitchen, and bedroom supplies, they could finally relax. Michael, of course, wanted to start by playing on his console. "I'll hand you the controller," he said. Even though you were just as good as him, you had a great time with wins and losses, but that didn't matter as much as your laughter and stupids harmless pranks.
You hadn't prepared anything, which was normal for their first day settling into the new house. But ice cream was enough for both while you watched the Jujutsu Kaisen finale for the sixth time.
Michael was so comfortable on the sofa, with you leaning on his shoulder, that he really wanted to stay there forever, everything was so... perfect.
When you were apart, he would soothe her doubts by saying that surely everything would be alright when they were together again, but now that you were together, the doubts persisted. Michael was no longer depressed in a hotel room in Paris, now he was by YOUR side in HIS home, and yet he still felt like he had no control over his anxiety.
And that only made him fucking scared. You hadn't seen each other in months, if not a year. What if you didn't feel the same way anymore? Because maybe you didn't have the same trust as before. Maybe this was just the sunny day before the thunderstorm.
He tried to concentrate on the screen, but every thought swallowed him whole and doubt was killing him; in his mind, your timid silence was a supposed sign of your discomfort and annoyance, which wasn't really there.
Even clinging to his own world was difficult within unfamiliar walls, he became disoriented as he looked around in the darkness of the large house.
Michael was so excited to bring you to live with him because he wanted to see you and not feel like you were slipping through his fingers, but now he felt the same way and didn't know what to do. He was afraid to ask and that you'd think he was a paranoid idiot—which maybe he was—but he was actually more afraid of being right, that you didn't love him anymore after he'd made you wait so long.
You were about to fall asleep when you felt it, Michael's breathing bringing him down, leaving him breathless. When you raised your head, you clearly saw the fear he was trying to hide behind his serious expression, Michael was having a panic attack.
"Mikey?" You sat up on the sofa, he didn't answer, so you asked again "Michael?" You didn't quite understand, but your gaze softened with tenderness. "Hey, you know you can tell me anything, I won't leave... Michael, talk to me."
He turned his head at your words, his face pressed against your shoulder. You were surprised, but instead of moving away, you drew him closer, wrapping your arms around him.
Michael's hands gripped your back painfully tight, he was trembling. When he finally spoke, his voice was deep, broken, pained. "Promise me this is real, please."
"Of course it's real, Michael, everything is new, but we'll be okay, I promise." One of your hands went up to his hair, caressing it carefully, as if he could break at any moment. "I promise..." Your lips left a small kiss on his head, you could feel how that simple gesture made his tense body gradually relax.
And you could hear Michael's breathing, the way his grip softened, every sound he made as he pressed against the space between your neck and collarbone, trying to feel that promise in his own flesh. It all felt like throwing a huge rock into a seemingly calm lake. You had no idea Michael had felt so frustrated and anxious all this time apart. It was almost painful how the comfort he offered you had extinguished your doubts about his own processes. A pang of guilt silently pierced your chest.
Michael quickly grew tired of that weakness and vulnerability, you couldn't tell if it was out of embarrassment or just another manifestation of his chaotic personality. He got up from the sofa after a long sigh, leaving you speechless and with your arms outstretched.
"I'm sorry, I—" He looked away for a second, then decided it wasn't worth it and faced you again. "I'm having an amazing time, seriously, sorry for ruining this." His voice was deep, but it was clear he was just fighting off the trembling.
Mikey was in the middle of a step when you spoke to him. "I love you" sounded as if that could keep him safe and steady, like an anchor.
That stopped him, and then he continued walking. "I'll go upstairs and get some blankets. I don't know if you want to sleep in the upstairs room." But he stopped again, took a breath, and sighed. You couldn't see his face or know what he was thinking at that moment. "I love you, too."
The lightness and affection that accompanied those words put you at ease. "Okay, I'll wait for you."
Michael hurried upstairs, he didn't want to be alone right now. He trusted that he would be alright if he held you in his arms once more.
Mikey entered the room without thinking. Inside were only the bed, the wardrobe, and a small table with a lamp that cast a warm light. It felt cold, but it only made him think. If he was with you, maybe he could make his house feel more like home.
Like the mornings if he woke up next to you, or the quick and clumsy departures from home to go to work, or choosing what decorations to buy for the empty house, he had you here, with him, not miles away, he had to enjoy being with you even though you weren't going to leave.
He felt a weight fall from his chest, replaced by a spark of determination and genuine love.
What a strange thing love is, It can give you everything or destroy you in the process.
Meanwhile, downstairs you were dying of nerves. You had no idea why the hell Michael was taking so long. You started imagining horrible possibilities, like a child terrified because their parents are late getting home. The twitch in your leg didn't stop until you decided to stand up and stride to the stairs.
You tried to act normal, but you soon decided to throw it all away and desperately ran up the stairs. You hurried down the hallway; there were no distractions, just one person to find.
"Michael, is everything alright?"
When you opened the door you saw him in the middle of the room, he seemed to have come out of his thoughts, with the expression of a deer dazzled by the headlights of a car at night. "Ah, yeah, yeah, I'm fine, don't worry. I was just going to grab the sheets and a couple of pillows and..."
He fell silent again, lost in thought. But this time he wasn't thinking about the room or his new home, he was thinking about you, about how you two were going to make this work, because you would.
Michael was disconnected, he reacted after you clicked in front of his face, the sound made him blink and his head returned to its place.
"Michael, if you have a lot on your mind, tell me, maybe we can work something out together." You were close, almost inches away. Your eyes and figure were illuminated by the light from the lamp on one side of the room.
"No, this time it's nothing" He wanted to turn away and grab the sheets, but something in that moment wouldn't let him pull away, as if he would die if he let you go. His hands, unsteady, slowly moved up to your jaw. You could barely read his expression; suddenly he was serious, but his eyes said the complete opposite.
He approached so carefully that the movement was imperceptible until his mouth was centimeters from yours. "Can we do this? In these three years, I always feel the same way when I'm with you." His voice was now a whisper, you could feel her breath close. That brought you a certain peace.
"Depressed or...?"
He let out a small laugh, his hand quickly moving to caress your cheek. "In love, okay?" Michael frowned humorously, your pessimism could be study material or something to console. "I only feel empty when you're not with me, so stay."
Something in your own gaze changed, everything was complicated, but Michael didn't seem scared this time, he was willing to take the risk and do crazy things, not everything was bad, not if he did it for you.
It was a simple move, you just moved a little closer to him, to his face. If it were up to you, you could have stared at him for hours, but you had waited too long to just exchange glances.
Michael's hands were gentle as he drew you closer. Your lips met, at first delicately, his hands tenderly cupping your face and hair, while you searched for a way to hold him close. Then his hands moved down to your hips and yours up to his cheeks.
The kiss ended, there was a silence, but it wasn't awkward, another question hung in the air.
"We're alone in this..." But your boyfriend's words felt different this time; with him so close, they no longer sounded like an affirmation of his loneliness, but an insinuation that slipped through the air like a letter slipped under the door.
This space was both of yours now, just you two, it didn't belong to any stranger although it might have seemed that way because of the nerves of the radical change of environment.
Now it was just you and Michael in the darkness.
You breathed with your head down, his fingers caressing your waist in a torturous way, but they stopped... when you started unbuttoning your shirt, or rather, Michael froze. It certainly wasn't due to sudden shyness because right after, he helped you remove the fabric from your shoulders. As it moved down, he approached your neck, leaving slow kisses that clung to your skin and then left a trail of saliva in their place.
At what point did it all start to burn? It felt cynical, the simplicity with which you were handling things now.
The fact that your shirt fell to the floor wasn't enough; his warm touch traveled over you to your back and unhooked your bra.
Michael take a breath when he saw your half-exposed body, his eyes had no shame, he watched you knowing he was allowed to do so.
Kisses filled your mouths again, the small sounds of friction were the only thing that could be heard.
"Please... take it off, babe" His words came out like a lost breath, Mikey was slowly losing his composure. You couldn't look him in the eyes because he was now pressed between your jaw and your neck.
You didn't hesitate to do as he asked. You took off your pants, trying not to lose your balance. When they fell to the floor, you kicked them aside, and they slid away, just like your shirt with your bra. You surrendered, as if you were laying down a gun and raising a white flag before a duel. Michael's soft laughter vibrated against your skin.
You looked up to meet Michael's gaze. He had pulled back to look into your eyes, his expression filled with adoration, affection, and something more—something that made you realize he could devour you at any moment, but not without your command. "Throw me a bone, darling." He whispered intimately, you were alone, yet it sounded as if you were keeping a secret.
Michael took off his shirt in front of you. When you saw his bare chest, you wanted to go straight to him and...
But he knelt down.
It happened in a second.
You felt a shiver run down your spine. He was so close, but you didn't back away. Your boyfriend's hands moved to your thighs, reaching your buttocks. You felt your heart beating too fast, until suddenly he raised his head, looking directly at you with those puppy-dog eyes. That said more than a thousand words, but it summed it all up.
"May I?"
You nodded silently, your cheeks turning a soft shade of red. From below, Michael's eyes remained fixed on yours, reflecting the dim light of the single lamp illuminating the room. "Okay," his voice was a whisper, but in your head it felt as if it resonated against every bone from your hip to your ankle.
Before you could think of anything else, his hands began to gently pull down the fabric of your panties, every touch feeling electric.
By the time the hem of the fabric reached your thighs, you were completely exposed. His face was level with your vagina. There was no doubt in Michael's eyes, he kissed your skin, moistening it, before his hands began to press against your thighs. His lips moved lower, and his tongue slipped between your folds, saliva reaching your clitoris. The kiss intensified, the warmth and softness were addictive to Michael, while you were giving your all to stay on your feet.
Your breaths turned into gasps, you didn't want to move but your legs went numb and you tried to stay firm against the wave of heat that rose throughout your body.
When you grew tired, Michael lifted you up –his arms around your waist– and carried you to the bed. You fell between the sheets with legs open, right after that he also got on the bed, without realizing it was a bit rough when he took off your panties and set them aside. The light, cold sensation of the sheets was immediately replaced by Michael's warm tongue against your wetness. The gentle sucking and licking had you delirious with stars, his tongue was soft and slippery; it felt different but so good. You clutched the pillow and moaned his name, but that didn't stop him, it only made it worse.
A crooked smile appeared on his face, making you grip the sheet a little tighter. You knew how unpredictable Michael could be.
Mikey pulled back a couple of inches, his hands sliding down and his thumbs beginning to part your lips, he had a perfect view of his dessert, watching as they separated stickily because of his saliva.
And his dilated gaze betrayed that he was thinking about a thousand other things at that moment, things he might keep to himself until his grave.
"Hey, don't play with that, okay?" You swallowed hard, trying to keep your composure, but it was difficult with your boyfriend staring at you like you were an ice cream cone in the summer.
Then, taking a breath, his tongue resumed its journey between your folds, fearlessly touching a sensitive spot. He pressed your clitoris with his fingers, just to annoy you. Internally, you cursed his name, could have sworn Michael was smiling as he devoured you, and he just fucking loved the way your fingers slid through his hair to bring him closer.
"Shit- Michael..." He barely heard your broken voice, it was low because you could hardly form thoughts.
It took you a while to realize it because of the overstimulation, but Michael's thumbs were now caressing you, tracing circles on your numb hips."Shhh... I've got you, sweetheart." His breathing was ragged and erratic, his lips still pressed against your skin, as if he needed it.
The silent room was filled with the sounds of wet kisses, ragged breaths, and muffled moans.
There's no better way to get used to a new home than by making "good memories".
Summary: If you could imagine Luke Hemmings in Wonderland, imagine him as the..."the funniest one in all these lands". Imagine that unbirthday parties are his specialty, and he'll bake a huge cake for you if he likes you, but believe me, you won't want to eat it... He can be somewhat unpredictable, he could be a Mad Hatter...
Warnings: Mention of violence, dark alternate universe, Luke Hemmings headcanons.
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The Mad Hatter is always in his enormous party garden, every day of the year is his unbirthday, so he invites all his friends over. They serve tea and eat cake but only the Mad Hatter can do it, because despite their best efforts, his metal and needle friends can't enjoy the feast as much as he does.
Rumors of his parties certainly spread fast. Maybe you're not invited, and that's actually a good thing, because there's a reason most people don't go: he's a little... crazy. Not even the Cheshire Cat knows why, but some believe it's due to the profound loneliness and guilt that always surrounds him. Whatever the reason, he's someone you have to be very careful around.
The host loves to wear elegant clothes for his celebrations, he always dresses in a tie and hat. His dark suits and porcelain-pale skin make his blue eyes stand out like hope and calm amidst the delirium that is Wonderland, but don't be fooled, because what glitters is usually valuable and brings good fortune, but in this world everything works in reverse.
Their parties are always chaotic, as chaotic as the labyrinth of tables and empty chairs that are occupied. His house is a place you should never enter, it's a grand mansion of polished stone and marble, with colorful windows, but its near-abandonment is evident from the dust that surrounds it, although no one really knows what's inside.
Guests are always welcome as long as they don't upset the host; a single broken cup could cost you your heart turned into cake, or tea if you prefer.
And maybe he was sane once too, maybe deep down he is still vulnerable, Maybe there is some reasoning at the bottom of his mind. But being crazy is the best way to deal with Wonderland, maybe you should be too.
Spending the night overthinking only works when you've been through a lot, or so they say. But how can someone who hasn't lost anything do it in the same way?
Many say I'm in a bubble, one where only I matter, and that this makes me a selfish, but they know nothing about this feeling... so strange that it decided to take over my chest. Hours staring at my phone, staring at the message bar without writing a word.
At first, it was all like... the American dream, but like something out of a ghost movie, what I thought was invisible is tearing me apart. I just need a coffee and a couple of p!lls and I'm ready for the show, but sometimes I think that makes it worse because when I don't have them, I feel like shit again. I can't stand the vomiting, the headaches, or the insomnia.
No matter how much I try to push my limits and my abilities, by taking that crap they told me would help or by seeing those girls who wouldn't let me fall into the terrifying silence during the nights, I just feel empty. Like... what am I even doing? This is supposed to feel good, but why do I always end up broken in front of the mirror?
This is all a fucking mess, and I'm getting tired of running away, hiding, and rubbing my eyes, hoping to wake up from this bad dream.
I shouldn't feel this way, but I do.
I should know what to do, I'm supposed to know, but I don't.
I swear that one day I will escape from this city and there will be none of this in my chest anymore, nor all that hatred that I always reproach but never cry about.
#| Berserk #| AU #| Canons #| Dark medieval fantasy
Summary: After years of wandering alone, Michael, despite being a well-known mercenary who seemed to need no one, found solace in your chest. Even though he was cursed and death pursued him everywhere, you were not willing to abandon him, and that made him serve his heart on a plate just for you.
Warnings: Berserk references and parallels, dark fantasy and mention of weapons.
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♱ Michael Clifford used to wander from town to town, usually with his gang of mercenaries. They weren't many, to be honest, but they always got the job done. But he's been walking alone for a while now, since the eclipse that cursed him. Being near him for too long can kill you, and yet you stayed, you were the only one who stayed, so he protects you day and especially night.
♱ He is somewhat distant when he is in front of others, but with you he behaves more relaxed, even playful, sometimes he pinches or bites you suddenly to annoy you.
♱ Whenever he gets hurt, you like to help him, even though Michael is stubborn. First, he tells you it's nothing, then he refuses when you insist, and finally, he lets you treat him. Deep down, you know it's not because he's upset with you, but because he's ashamed of himself.
♱ Michael holds your hand in very crowded places, he holds you tightly and doesn't let go until you are alone. He does the same when they're working; he doesn't trust any king, or any lackey or "friend", Michael simply doesn't trust anyone. He's only capable of turning his back on you and knowing you wouldn't betray him.
♱ You usually sleep together. 'Cause don't always have a place to stay at night because of the long, isolated journeys you make between regions and towns, but when you stop to rest, no matter where it is, you never sleep apart. Michael likes to have his arm around your shoulder, he says it's to protect you if a threat suddenly appears. But it also kept you warm during the cold night all you had to do was be in his arms, wrapped in his cloak. You can confirm that Michael always sleeps with a sword in his hand.
♱ Sometimes, after finishing his work and receiving his pay, Michael invites you for drinks at the first tavern you find. He loves to see you enjoy food and a couple of beers in a place safe from the cold after filling your hands with blood all day. It's one of the few moments when living by your side doesn't seem so dangerous for either of you.
Summary: If you could imagine Michael Clifford in Wonderland, imagine him as the kind of king who rules over the colorful delirium of those lands, imagine him as someone who will have your head chopped off if you don't follow his rules, imagine him as someone who deep down suffers for every white rose, imagine him as the King of Hearts...
Warnings: Mention of weapons, dark alternate universe, Michael Clifford headcanons.
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The King of Hearts is silent most of the time, he is usually found in his rose gardens. Thousands of roses within a great labyrinth, yet he has never gotten lost. How could he, when for him it is pure intuition?
Thousands of roses and he can't see a single one. If Wonderland had blessed him with a huge kingdom and as many subjects as he could ask for, it also had to take something away in return.
His eyes.
The king always walks side by side with the queen, but unlike her, no one dares to look him in the face. Not even his most formal attire prevents him from being intimidating, because of his size, his explosive attitude, his unwavering expression, and the way he condemns anyone to the gu!llotine.
Every day in the palace you can feel the constant anxiety and stress of everyone there, any mistake can provoke his anger, and believe me, there is nothing more terrifying and desperate than not even being able to breathe when the king is near. Or maybe there is something worse... silence.
When he's screaming at the top of his lungs for a guard's head to be cut off, everyone else can breathe because it's not their turn, but when there's only silence, it's overwhelming, completely overwhelming.
Nobody knows what's supposed to happen when there's only silence. But I'll tell you what.
He cries, he cries so much he could fill an ocean. His worse pain is something chained in his black heart, and he would k!ll anyone who tried to access it.
Every white rose is a loss, they must all be red. The last time he found one of another color, his screams echoed throughout the castle. More than anger, it was frustration. Everything had to be his way, but if it wasn't, he just felt powerless. Not all the lands of Wonderland, not all the slaves, not all the ornaments, not the hand of the most beautiful woman, not the cricket matches, not the enormous cakes could fill the void of never being enough.
So he will continue cutting off heads and making life impossible for every inhabitant until he is satisfied.
Summary: You stayed with Ashton at his house in California for a weekend; You were just friends, but your flirting was too obvious. That first night felt completely disconnected from the rest of the world, and it was perfect that way.
A/N: Thank you sm to everyone who voted this one <3
Word count: 2.9k
𐔌 .Playlist ֹ ₊ ꒱
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This summer, Ashton had invited you to his house for a couple of days. The question had come up naturally during a party with friends—nothing out of the ordinary; he'd invited other people over before. But this time it felt different, because it was going to be just the two of you, and you knew there was something between you, even though you never said it out loud. He always treated you with an almost romantic affection, often without even realizing it.
He had picked you up at your house on Friday. The car ride was cool and very chill; you both talked about how the last few months had been and listened to music most of the time.
You arrived at his place a little while later. Ashton parked the car in front of the garage, then got out to help you take your luggage out of the trunk. Even though it was nighttime, you could clearly see how big his house was, the main entrance protected by an elegant wooden gate and a large mural of shrubs covering the front.
You got out right after him to get your things, but Ashton already had your suitcase in his hands and dragged it to the door.
Once you crossed the gate into the front yard, you felt a chill, you were officially in his house, it was real.
Finally entered the house. It was warm and modern inside, with clean and tidy furniture. It felt almost sarcastic, knowing how chaotic Ashton could be. He had been out of town for a while, and it was noticeable from the things that looked strangely like they had been put away long ago, and how everything had remained still and silent ever since. You barely noticed Ashton had gone to leave your things in the guest room, you followed him to find out where it was, after all, you didn't know the place.
"Ashton...?" You went to the half-open door of the hallway, you met him face to face, he had already left your suitcase and was about to leave.
For a second both looked into each other's eyes, but then you let him out by stepping aside.
"I hope you feel comfortable, my house is your house," He said with a calm smile.
"Thanks" you replied, simply appreciating his attitude and hospitality.
There was a silence, but you were both so disconnected that you didn't move away or notice how strange it was. In your defense, Ashton's hazel eyes were beautiful, and in Ashton's defense, you were gorgeous.
After a brief blink, Ashton reacted. "Um... are you hungry? I can make you something to eat." He laughed to lighten the heavy atmosphere.
"Oh, yeah, sure, I'll help you." You realized it a little later, but it wasn't worth making it awkward.
You left the bedroom and went to the kitchen. Normally, you both made a lot of silly jokes and talked as if nothing was wrong, but being alone in that huge house felt... vulnerable, intimate, more so than you were used to.
While you and Ashton cooked, silence consumed you; a couple of glances now and then, not even intentional, maybe you just wanted something more, then you realized they shouldn't, and in the end you were just looking for confirmation of whether you were both doing the same.
They stopped when you put the chicken in the oven. Ashton was the first to speak.
"So... you've ever cooked something like this before? I think I've only done it once because, you know, I'm not usually home, and when I am, I tend to make simpler things. But since you're here and willing to help me" He wiped the sweat from her forehead with her wrist "I'm not going to miss this opportunity to make something delicious for both of us."
The topic was completely pointless, but it helped break the ice and brought a small smile to your face.
"Yeah, Ash, I used to make it at a friend's house, she's practically family but I don't think you've met her in person"
"No, if that were the case I would remember it "
"Just like you remembered to set the stopwatch?" you said, pointing behind him at the small stopwatch, he had forgotten to put it on again.
"Shit, this time I was going to put it on, but you distracted me, okay?" His tone was full of humor and lightness, it made him feel good to be by your side, even if it was weird or uncomfortable, he would never move away.
"Don't make excuses, you're a walking disaster." You laughed.
"Yes, of course, but you're Miss 'I even forget my name'" If he fell he would drag you with him.
Ashton walked to the living room, sat on the sofa, and gestured for you to follow him. You sat down next to him, and almost immediately his arm went around your shoulders. He even flinched nervously, Ash didn't know why he'd done it, but he wasn't going to back down, so he didn't move away.
That simple moment brought you a pure, almost foolish happiness. Because you'd have to lie to say you weren't interested in Ashton, but you knew he'd recently ended a long-term relationship, and you really didn't want to cause him any more trouble.
"You know what, I'm working on a new album with the guys," he blurted out casually while choosing a movie to put on TV.
"Wait, seriously!?" You turned to him in surprise; no one could throw a huge rock at a window and expect it not to break.
"Yeah, but it's a secret." I playfully cover your mouth, moving closer to your face without you noticing. "So please don't say anything. We're trying to innovate, in fact, we've never done anything like this before. I'm really excited about it, to be honest."
"Innovate in what way?" You wanted to know more, even though you were friends and had heard a couple of songs, you almost never talked about his band, partly because you never saw it as necessary and neither did he, but he looked so cute being excited about it that you really wanted to know more.
"Well, let's say riskier, but not like our fourth album, or like the fifth, but more like... the definition of risky..." He focused his gaze, trying to think.
"Like stupid and dangerous...?"
"Yes, something like that" Ashton laughed at your answer, actually, you had guessed correctly.
"In that case I guess it's not so different from the rest of your albums," you replied with a touch of humor, but Ash was the one who burst out laughing.
"What do you mean, that's not true," he called you by your name and then just started shaking your shoulders to annoy you.
"Yes, it is." You tried to hold back your laughter, but it was almost impossible.
You started playfully struggling with him to get him to let go, but instead he just pulled you closer and you didn't refuse the idea at all.
You knew very well that not everything was perfect, but sometimes just being able to spend time with him felt perfect. But there was nothing serious between you two beyond friendship, and just remembering that you were a passing guest saddened you a little, even though you knew it was the truth.
After watching La La Land for a while, Ashton had fallen asleep. You, meanwhile, cleaned yourself up after crying for the end, and got up to see if the food was ready. You walked from the dark living room, lit by the TV, to the kitchen, where the soft light from the lamps gave the place a cozy feel. You put on your gloves and carefully opened the oven to take out the chicken. You put the tray down on the counter and took off your gloves for a moment to go and tell Ashton that the food was ready.
Without realizing it, you went faster than usual, it wasn't even that important, but you wanted to talk to him again, to know what he would say, just to feel him again.
When you pulled his arm he barely moved, you thought it would be fun if he woke up suddenly –and you also wanted to get revenge for what happened earlier– but it didn't work.
Ashton looked really peaceful as he rested; you didn't want to wake him, but you had to. You sat down next to him on the sofa and began to gently shake his arm.
"Ashton," you said the first time, it was almost a whisper as if you didn't want to alarm anyone else even though you were alone in that big house "Ashton, the food's ready... are you hungry?"
"Nmm..." He hadn't woken up yet, he had simply settled into his seat.
"Ash..." You waited at least a minute, you were sleepy too but you didn't move away... Tiredly, you rested your cheek on his shoulder while still looking at his face, his beautiful face.
For a second you didn't mind leaving dinner aside, or ending the night so early, it was more than enough to sleep by his side, feeling his warmth as comfort from the cold night breeze.
After a while immersed in the sleep, you felt something more than that, someone was lifting you up. Your eyes opened slightly; Ashton was carrying you in his arms down the hall. His hands supporting your body gave you a feeling of tranquility. You closed your eyes again, trusting completely.
"Ashton" You buried your face in his chest, your hand gripping his hoodie. "Don't leave me alone..."
"Are you sure?" he said softly, trying not to disturb your sleep. "I'll take you to the guest room so you can sleep. I'll save dinner for tomorrow. Don't worry."
"Please." You pulled back slightly to look at him in the eyes, sleepiness was still evident on your face, but your expression was firm.
Silence fell, but a silence heavy with unspoken words. They were no longer at a party where noise and people interfered with what was obvious, nor were there friends to soften every glance and every flirtation with silly jokes.
Just you and him in the dark of the night.
Ashton let out a sigh, giving in, turned around, and walked to his room. His steps were slower than usual; this time there was no hurry or urgency. When he reached the white door, his breath caught in his throat, he was more nervous than before.
Inside, it was spacious, moonlight filtered through the closed blinds. He placed you on his bed very carefully, as if you were made of porcelain. It was unintentional, but he ended up on top of you to keep his balance.
Your gaze was gentle, you could only think about how simple everything was, just two friends who felt more than they should. It was as simple as you wanted to kiss him, as simple as his relationship had already ended and you could do it if he wanted to too.
"Could you...?" The words caught in your throat. "Can we-?"
Ashton's gaze also softened, as if he had been waiting for only a crumb of the affection that you never quite managed to express. The calm transformed into a smile.
"Of course we can..." he said softly and tenderly, moving closer to your lips. He was looking to finally give you the kisses he'd been saving up.
Your hands reached for his jaw to pull him closer, and when you finally kissed, you felt an enormous weight disappear from your body, and Ashton surely felt it too because when he felt your fingers against his skin he moved closer to you, the kiss became more intense. Ash settled on top of you to be more comfortable, now you knew you were going to be like that for a while.
Between kisses and gasps, the question suddenly arose.
Ashton moved four centimeters away from you, enough to be able to talk.
"Do you want to swim?" The words came out while he was still trying to catch his breath.
"What...?"
You two went to the courtyard, and as soon as you did, you felt the night breeze against your skin, and stepping on the grass in that state wasn't pleasant either. You left the house behind and walked through the dark garden to where the chairs and umbrella were.
"Damn, it's cold... I'm starting to regret bringing this swimsuit." You put your hands on your shoulders to cover yourself a little.
"Yeah, but I think the adrenaline makes it more fun." Ashton reached the pool, looking around and trying to calculate how much it would hurt to get in.
Ash was only guided by the distant lights of the house and the moon, because he couldn't see a damn thing, but he still thought it was a good idea because he was about to jump.
The darkness only made the pool look deeper than normal, you knew there was a bottom, there had to be a bottom, but even so, it didn't seem like a good idea for you to enter so late.
Without thinking twice, Ashton carelessly jumped into the water. It was freezing, no doubt, but he was convinced you'd be fine. He turned to you. "Aren't you coming?"
You took a step back without realizing it.
"I just want to... wait a while, it must be cold." You hesitated, looking at the edge. You felt a little embarrassed; something told you that if you went in, it wouldn't just be "Swim and you'll be fine". But you didn't want to keep running away, so you sat on the shore, dipping your toes in the water. "Ash... I don't know if I'll be able to go in with you, I don't even know how to swim."
"I know, dear." Ashton's voice came out with a touch of humor and tenderness, which calmed you a little. For him it was simple, but he knew it wasn't for you, and he completely respected that. He moved closer to the edge, placing his hands on either side of your knees. "and yes, it's really cold, but it's okay, trust me, I won't let you have a bad time." He extended his hand, his gaze understanding and gentle. Maybe it was agonizing to wait so long to have you close, but he knew how to cherish every moment with you and knew it would be worth it when you finally took the step.
Your eyes lingered on his for a long time. You wanted to trust him, but it was already hard enough having your legs freezing. You'd come all this way just for him; you really wanted to be with him, to be able to hold him.
Finally, you took a deep breath and went inside the pool, you let out a gasp because of the cold water that suddenly awakened your senses. Partly trusting that when you entered the water his hands would hold you. And so it was, your body was submerged in the water, when it reached your collarbone he grabbed your hip, pressing you against the walls of the pool.
His hands were warm compared to the cold water, and although you couldn't even touch the bottom with your toes, you trusted that he wouldn't let you sink.
Your arms encircled Ashton's neck and your chests pressed together, his breath reached your neck.
Without pressing you he moved away from the edge taking you with him. Once in the middle of the pool Ashton couldn't reach the bottom either, but that was okay.
"Now... are you ready?" Part of his concentration was on swimming without letting go of you, but his tone showed some affection and patience.
"Yes..." You hadn't even realized it, but you were looking at him as if he were the only thing that existed at that moment, your eyes fixed on Ashton, although his were making sure to look around carefully so as not to lose his balance.
At one point he stopped swimming and turned towards you. Both of you started to go down, first taking a breath.
Once under the water it was so cold that your breathing quickened, but you still didn't let go of Ashton. His body was the only warmth you could feel; Your hands kept moving over him as you tried to hold on, but there was no good way to do it because he was so much bigger than you. Until he wrapped his arms around you. And maybe you were so focused on the sensations that you didn't even notice his soft kiss on your neck.
The lack of air underwater and the cold gradually faded away.
you'll be fine.
you were in his arms.
You woke up with a start, gasping for breath you hadn't known you'd been holding.
You sat up trying to calm down.
A light layer of sweat still covered your naked body, your breathing slowed. It had been a dream, so you decided not to dwell on it and lay back down on the bed next to Ashton.
He caught you immediately, pulling you close to his chest and gently kissing your forehead. Your hands clung to his back as they had been doing all night. Ash was half asleep, but his gesture brought a smile to your face.
Summary: You were secretly dating Calum for a few months, you didn't want to get into trouble with his fans or be called a "fame fucker" for being much younger than him (you were twenty and he was thirty-one). You wanted to join him on his tour, but Calum doesn't want to share you with anyone.
Word count: 1.8k
𐔌 .Playlist ֹ ₊ ꒱
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You and Calum had been dating for a few months, and his world tour was just a couple of weeks away. Now more than ever, you had to keep your relationship with the bassist from 5 Seconds of Summer a secret.
You both knew there was a significant age difference, but everything had gone smoothly. Calum had never disrespected you and felt at ease around you, as if he could let his guard down. The thing is, the media and the fans don't give a fuck, like, "Why would a twenty-year-old unknown girl be with a world-famous singer older than her? Interest, pure interest and superficiality". And Calum knew it, that's why he avoided mentioning you and was always careful not to be seen together in public. Despite this inability, he had written at least six songs for you, songs he would never show to the rest of his team, songs that would never be released, songs that were about you through his eyes. He truly loved you, so he would never let that be ruined.
Today as always, you got up early to get ready. This time, you put on a white dress with a second layer of tulle, then added a jacket and brown leather boots.
You were going to visit Calum, but in somewhere private. Didn't want to draw attention to yourself, so you took a friend's car to the hotel where he was staying that summer.
The morning felt pretty quiet in LA. The sunlight warmed your skin slightly from the car window. After about thirty minutes you were in front of the hotel; it was a large complex, from the outside it looked with white stone structures, but inside the lobby was elegant and every centimeter seemed planned to perfección. You admired for a moment the ambient lighting, the fountain with plants near the reception, the large polished marble columns and the floor that reflected everything.
Calum was leaning against one of the columns in the elegant lobby, wearing a white shirt and dark soccer shorts. His gaze was fixed on his phone until he noticed your presence, when he saw you, something inside him ignited.
The man sat up and walked calmly toward you.
"I was waiting for you." Calum stopped about half a meter away, his voice deep and a little husky, which you were used to by now.
"Sorry if I took so long, I wanted to make sure everything went well." You laughed nervously, every time you saw him, you felt butterflies in your stomach. Maybe it sounded a little childish, but you were serious about Calum.
"It's okay, you're here now... I actually wish you had been here last night. I would have taken you to the dinner with the band. Everyone brought their partners; it was a formal event, but I think you would have enjoyed it." He moved closer and put his arm around your shoulders to lead you to the elevator.
"Do you think they wouldn't have cared?" You gently raised your gaze to him.
"They already know you, it's just that they don't know about us." Once in the elevator, he pressed the button for the 13th floor
Everything fell silent, but it wasn't awkward, it was comforting. Just being together in a room without anyone to bother you.
You soon reached Calum's room because at that time of day, the hotel was like a haunted mansion—completely silent and empty. Inside, there was a bathroom, the kitchen, and finally the main bedroom, all connected by a hallway illuminated with soft lights.
"The room is over there," he gestured vaguely ahead, not minding you being in his space so you could go wherever you wanted. He gave you a gentle pat on the shoulder and went towards the kitchen.
You walked cautiously down the hallway decorated with paintings, and when you reached the end you stopped at the door, it was ajar.
Unlike the hallway, in the room sunlight filtered through the window. Calum's room was comfortable and spacious, his suitcase was next to the closet and the sheets on the bed were a little messy. You dropped your backpack to the side of the door.
And then, without realizing it, Calum grabbed your hips from behind and lifted you up, he started shaking you, just to tease you a little.
"C-a-l-u-m" Your voice came out dejected, like when you speak in front of a fan, because he didn't stop moving you.
In the end, Calum threw you on the bed. It wasn't meant to be rough, but you fell face-first onto the sheets. You could hear his laughter loud and clear, and you couldn't help but laugh too. It was stupid, but it hadn't been seen in a while, it was justified to act like idiots in love.
After a moment you sat up and tried to fix your hair, kinda embarrassed but also trying to calm down the laughter.
He calmly lay down on the bed right after you.
"You can take off your shoes and jacket, but leave them in the closet" said, settling between the sheets.
You took off your boots and jacket, they fell to the ground.
"I promise to fix it later." You lay down next to him.
"I'm only asking one thing of you, and look how you're repaying me." His tone wasn't even a complaint, he was calm and his gaze was fixed on you.
Calum raised his hand to gently stroke your head.
You moved closer. "I've been thinking that maybe we should go out today, there's a new bar near downtown. No one would see us there."
"That's a good idea, I was thinking of taking you to the fair at the pier," he admitted with a little embarrassment, you knew he was a fan of rides and games.
You burst out laughing again. "I mean, the fair doesn't sound bad either, it's been ages since I've been to one, but I want to see you."
"I hate these kinds of conversations," but from his stupid expression you knew Calum was just playing. "Who cares where we go tonight, the day is ours."
His hand went down to your jaw and he held your face. He looked at you with those dark eyes as if you were exactly what he needed to breathe, the dim light through the blinds illuminated his face, and suddenly the silence seemed perfect, tense but perfect.
You got closer and closer, maybe because you were concentrating, but the movement was almost imperceptible. For a moment you were almost going to kiss him, but everything stopped in an instant.
"I'm leaving next Saturday. Maybe I'll be back here in October." It was just a small movement, but you noticed it; he moved his head away.
You remained silent, but your disappointment was clear. It was a conversation you two had been avoiding, you'd already argued many times about how difficult it was to maintain a long-distance relationship. You knew he'd be traveling for almost a year.
You got up and sat on the edge of the bed Calum also got up; he didn't really want to push you away.
"...in which cities will you be?" You said, disconnected, formulating plans.
He called you by your name, you know it was serious. "I won't be in America until June, I don't..."
"I'll buy the ticket anyway or..." You sounded almost desperate, but you stopped for a second and looked him in the eyes. "Could you... take me with you...?" You hesitated a lot, maybe you were just afraid of the answer.
Calum's gaze softened, he moved closer to you, almost eliminating all space between you.
"Hey." His voice dropped to a whisper, his eyes fixed on you, wanting to be as gentle as possible. "I'd take you with me, but there's a price to pay, and I'm not just talking about money. The press will tear you apart if they see you with me. Even if that doesn't happen… I don't want my fans to hate you, I just-" He brought his hand closer to your face, caressing your cheek with his thumb. "Do you really want that?"
"I don't give a shit what people think about us, Calum. I just want to be with you. I had to wait months to see you here in LA and I also had to wait to see you in New York, and every fucking moment only lasts a second because you always have to leave." You pushed his hand away.
"Baby, please..." Instead of pulling away, he cupped your face in his hands. "You know I love you, but I'm not going to put you in that situation."
"But I'm asking you," you said with a certain tone of desperation. "I swear I can take it"
Calum exhaled and thought about it for a moment. The tour would last a long time and was risky for many reasons. He didn't want to hide you, but he knew better than anyone that privacy was an essential part of his relationship with you and that once he revealed it publicly, there would be no going back.
But then he just imagined you taking pictures of yourself in Paris with him, eating at some restaurant in Berlin or South Korea, enjoying the trip together, and occasionally putting work aside to go on dates with you. The mere thought of it made him want to take the risk.
"Fine, then you'll come with me..." He still didn't break the intimacy of the moment. "But if anyone hurts you, or says anything bad about you, I'll bring you back immediately."
"I'm going to be okay, Calum." Your hand brushed against his arm.
"I know." He whispered to you as he moved closer, still trying to understand your point of view, but he didn't want to argue anymore—he just wanted to enjoy every second by your side.
His lips found their way to yours. It was soft at first, but then his hand slid down to your neck and the kiss grew more intense. Calum grabbed your thighs and pulled you onto his lap to bring you closer to him. His hands moved up to your waist, pressing against it as he kissed you.
Both fell onto the sheets, he wrapped his arms around you, the kisses hadn't stopped but had become gentler, a sign of affection. Calum hugged you from behind while stroking the back of your neck with his nose.
At that moment everything seemed distant, you feel like you could stay like that with him forever and neither of you would complain.
You turned around, facing Calum. You looked at him for a second; your eyes were filled with something you couldn't explain. You wanted to kiss him, or maybe scream with excitement, or just hit yourself to calm down.
"How long has it been?" It came out almost as a sigh.
"How long ago what?" A small smile formed on his face, he knew what you meant, but he just remained silent.
"Since the last time we saw each other like this" You moved closer, your breath brushing against Calum's neck. "I missed you so much"
