If you wanna be my lover, you gotta be my friend

multifandom • Blog title is joke • I'm not a girl • Queer takes ahead • I'm in my 20s but I'm saying with the same vibes as the scene from Mama Mia! • MCU Tony Stark is a piece of shit but you're allowed to like him •

[demirose-colored-glasses]

My page looks better on desktop

➳ I'm Ro. I'm in my late 20s. Please don't gender me. I'm a queer enigma. They/Them works just fine.

➳ My page looks better on desktop and I can't follow back, this is a side blog. I will interact though.

➳ I'm Demiromantic, for me this means that I can't feel romantic attraction towards people unless I have a close emotional bond with them, for me that's friendship/a platonic bond. Hence the joke in my title. (This doesn't mean I am attracted to all my friends, just that I can't feel romantic attraction to people I'm not close with.)

➳ Current hyperfixations/special interests: (most active in bold) Psych (coming back from childhoood), Glee, Stardew Valley, The Summer I Turned Pretty (I love all these characters and they can be as petty and messy as they'd like.), Arrowverse, Harry Potter (I do not support JKR and I fully acknowledge that the goblins are antisemitic, nagini and cho chang are offensive, and that her treatment of indigenous cultures is unacceptable)

Buffy The Vampire Slayer (I'm late I'm sorry)

➳ Flag in banner/background is the demiromantic flag color picked from The Summer I Turned Pretty cover.

➶ I post Demiromantic and other aspec headcanons. Mostly focus on demiromantic/demisexual though. These may be hot takes, and are strictly through the lens of my own experience and you don't have to agree, in fact I vibe with canon or whatever headcanons you may have.

➶ Feel free to send asks and interact in any way possible.

➶ I'll also make icons or color picked flags at some point if people want them. There aren't very many demiromantic headcanons.

➶ reblogging an edit or a fic doesn't mean I ship the ship, I just support Fandom creators. So if you see me saying I don't ship something, then you see it in my reblogs, I'm just supporting Fandom creators.

➵ Allies, non-queer, and people uneducated on queerness are obviously welcome, this is not, nor will it ever be a queer-only space. Despite this you MUST be able to understand that is a queer amatopunk space. It rejects amatonormativity. This means that despite loving the romance genre and experiencing some romantic attraction I will be critical of amatonormativity and allonormativity.

➵I am neutral on RPF most of the time but have zero interest and will not reblog it.

➵ I am neutral on "bad" fandom content existing. As long as they're not harassing real people I'm not even looking in their direction, they tend to trigger me so I don't engage.

➴ Despite being neutral on rpf existing, "Tinhats" can fuck right off. Especially if you talk to the people involved about it or in any way harass them. I hope you have a bad day every day forever.

➴ I'm typically not interested in large age gaps ships where one person is a teenager but I don't think they're evil or whatever fanpolice are on about. Also proshippers are racist trash 99% of the time so don't lump me in with those assholes either please.

🏹 My writing (Dead link for now)

🏹 My Media Takes/Overviews

Tags:

#demirose glasses on - headcanoning characters to be on the aspec in any way shape or form, sometimes used for general queer headcanons as well.

#demirose glasses off - just a general speculation post about a piece of media.

#my stuff - edits I made

[saga-anderson-deactivated202402]

this is how some of y’all look and it’s so transparent…..

[rebellionofthecattle]

In addition,

[chekhovs-claymore]

Or this

[animentality]

[demirose-colored-glasses]

Might redo my pinned post

[demirose-colored-glasses]

Susannah isn't perfect just because she's loving and dead.

[wellsysgarrett]

[demirose-colored-glasses]

I can forgive Inconsistencies in writing at the start of a show easy. Because I know how writing for TV works but I will still find them funny as hell.

Buffy s1 had willow like: idk Xander and I were friends once as kids but not anymore. She is too shy to approach him.

Then five minutes later they've been friends consistently for years and they're always hanging out

[hussyknee]

I’m really not a villain enjoyer. I love anti-heroes and anti-villains. But I can’t see fictional evil separate from real evil. As in not that enjoying dark fiction means you condone it, but that all fiction holds up some kind of mirror to the world as it is. Killing innocent people doesn’t make you an iconic lesbian girlboss it just makes you part of the mundane and stultifying black rot of the universe.

“But characters struggling with honour and goodness and the egoism of being good are so boring.” Cool well some of us actually struggle with that stuff on the daily because being a good person is complicated and harder than being an edgelord.

Sure you can use fiction to explore the darkness of human nature and learn empathy, but the world doesn’t actually suffer from a deficit of empathy for powerful and privileged people who do heinous stuff. You could literally kill a thousand babies in broad daylight and they’ll find a way to blame your childhood trauma for it as long as you’re white, cisgender, abled and attractive, and you’ll be their poor little meow meow by the end of the week. Don’t act like you’re advocating for Quasimodo when you’re just making Elon Musk hot, smart and gay.

[hussyknee]

This is exactly it!! “Villain enjoyer” hardly ever means “I love how they make the best foil for the protagonist/ do evil with flair/ is motivated to do awful things out of interesting logic or compelling internal conflict”. The majority of the time is fandom making them out to be a Misunderstood Woobie and how their actions were justified really, if you think about it, how anyone who makes them suffer the consequences of their actions are big meanies and The Heroes Are The Real Villains Actually. They don’t enjoy villainy they want to whitewash it. They want to project their own victim complex and bigotry onto them.

That’s not confined to villains of course. Anti-heroes are treated the same way. As far as fandom is concerned, the “anti” part stands for “misunderstood and unfairly punished” instead of “fucked up person who does terrible things for good reasons and good things for bad reasons and has to deal with the consequences of each.”

[aspecpolls]

Poll suggestion - I'm curious if aromantic and/or asexual people who engage in shipping tend to exhibit a preference towards the genders of the characters involved in the ship, if that makes sense? For instance, I'm aromantic but I've noticed that most of the time I'm drawn more to fem/masc ships in media, even though I'm not straight. I think it would be interesting to find out whether this is the case for other aspec people, or if I am in the minority in this regard.

Aros and/or Aces, if you engage in shipping, do you tend to have a preference for the genders of the characters?

Aro, not ace. Yes, I usually like male/female pairings

Aro, not ace. Yes, I usually like female/female pairings

Aro, not ace. Yes, I usually like male/male pairings

Ace, not aro. Yes, I usually like male/female pairings

Ace, not aro. Yes, I usually like female/female pairings

Ace, not aro. Yes, I usually like male/male pairings

Aroace. Yes, I usually like male/female pairings

Aroace. Yes, I usually like female/female pairings

Aroace. Yes, I usually like male/male pairings

Aro, not ace. No preferences/I don't care for shipping at all

Ace, not aro. No preferences/I don't care for shipping at all

Aroace. No preferences/I don't care for shipping at all

Voting ended onJan 22, 2024

No "show results" button this time, sorry everyone! All 12 slots got taken up so for this one please try not to vote if it doesn't apply to you. I also apologize that there's no option for nonbinary, genderless or other types of pairings. I originally tried to add them but there was not enough room if I wanted to be able to specify aro, ace and aroace on each answer. Though since there are, unfortunately, not very many examples of those pairings in current popular media hopefully these options are okay

[crocutacanidae]

Do you know how selfish i would die for you is? You would leave me alone knowing your love but unable to grasp it? Evil. Unspeakably evil. Live for me. Kill for me if you must, but live. You have to live.

[astraltrickster]

Periodic reminder that you are not immune to reactionary radicalization through fandom.

We all know the "jokes" about how old bronies either came out as queer or became fascists - except they're not really jokes, and a lot of the queer ones admit to having been in the pipeline before they came out (some in a way that implies they never totally got out of said pipeline and don't understand the gravity of it),

GamerGate was an entire right-wing reactionary movement that was - and this is not hyperbole - partially responsible for turning fascism into a "legitimate" position by the American Overton window, composed entirely of people who feared losing their fan spaces,

We've had terfs right here on tumblr dot com BRAGGING about how useful fandom is as a recruiting space,

TJLC was a big pipeline for acephobia on this hellsite in particular, when people argued that headcanoning Sherlock as ace was inherently homophobic because it was denying a TOTALLY GONNA BE CANON (while the creators were promising that it wasn't going to be canon) gay pairing, and puritanical, and just HAVING that headcanon was saying that people COULDN'T ship Johnlock, all in the interest of a "fake" sexuality and "pretending to be oppressed" and oh whoops there you went,

We see people who all but center their fandom activity and identities around figuring out which people in predominantly queer fandom spaces are SECRETLY PEDOPHILES AND GROOMERS, acting consciously or otherwise under the assumption that predominantly queer fandom spaces are just massively infested with them in a way that other spaces are not for SOME reason, who twist the definition of "pedophilia" in these spaces until it covers shipping a 17-year old fictional character with an 18-year old fictional character, or a 30-year old with a 45-year old, or including an autistic character in a ship, and drawing two 17-year old characters kissing constitutes "child porn", and who unironically say we should bring back the Hays Code and Censorship Is Good Actually And Our Problem Is We Don't Do It Enough and this often becomes a pipeline to "sex ed is child abuse; people shouldn't even know what sex is until they turn 18; you need my consent to wear certain outfits in public if I see them as sexually charged, and Pride SHOULD be an assimilationist sideshow for our corporate overlords family-friendly party with no sadness or anger or ESPECIALLY acknowledgement of sex allowed",

We've seen otherwise progressive people defend literal hate symbols in fanart when pushback against the above brand of reactionaries gets corrupted into zero-nuance "it's us vs. them so anything they don't like is Good",

Even outside of those examples some of the most vicious, unapologetic, blatant queerphobic abuse I've seen in recent years hasn't come from right-wingers but from LGBT+ people, dressing their deep, violent, seething hatred for queer people who aren't exactly like them in a thin veneer of progressive language, who have become so convinced that they're the main character of the fucking universe that they think writing or enjoying a queer story that doesn't resonate with them is more queerphobic than sending a queer person who writes or enjoys such a story countless rape and death threats and denying their identity,

We've seen these examples again and again and again, and we keep seeing it again and again and again, so I am once again on my knees BEGGING people to recognize that this is not Something That Happens To Other, BAD People, or Something That Happens To People In BAD Fandoms, or Something That Happens To People On The OTHER Side Of Perennial Drama; this is something that CAN happen to you.

These things are the result of the fact that fandom is, by nature, a place of heightened emotion and if you don't know what to look out for that is very exploitable; you need to know the methods people use to do this, simply Being In The Right Fandoms or Liking The Right Ships is not enough.

So, if you see someone trying to convince you that you have the ONLY valid approach to any specific character, or ship, or show, or whatever, that your ship is activism and your fanfics are praxis, and liking something else or liking the same thing differently is Only For Bad People, that is the single biggest red flag that YOU NEED TO RUN, THEY'RE TRYING TO SELL YOU SOMETHING THAT YOU DO NOT WANT

[astraltrickster]

Seeing people reblog this with mile-long DNI pages that talk about about "irredeemable media" and "you're a pedophile if you like XYZ mainstream piece of media and I hate you" and "if you like these things that are bad irl happening in fiction in any context that's apologism for them in reality and you should be ashamed" and "if you're okay with consenting adults having weird sex and talking about weird sex with other consenting adults and putting weird sex in appropriately tagged fanfics that means you support rape and pedophilia and bestiality and incest and you're evil" and "terfs and exclusionists and gatekeepers gtfo BUT combination labels aren't valid and trans men aren't really oppressed beyond collateral damage and fuck off if you think they are lol" and doing the biggest facepalm of my life like

👏 THIS 👏 IS 👏 ABOUT 👏 YOU 👏

👏 THIS 👏 IS 👏 ABOUT 👏 YOU 👏

👏 THIS 👏 IS 👏 ABOUT 👏 YOU 👏

👏 THIS 👏 IS 👏 ABOUT 👏 YOU 👏

👏 THIS 👏 IS 👏 ABOUT 👏 YOU 👏

👏 THIS 👏 IS 👏 ABOUT 👏 YOU 👏

👏 THIS 👏 IS 👏 ABOUT 👏 YOU 👏

So I sincerely hope, if you're one of those people reblogging this, you're taking it as a call to seriously reflect on those beliefs and how you came to hold them, and not just sitting there smugly thinking that when I said "YOU are not immune to this" I meant "YOUR FOLLOWERS may not be immune to this, but YOU are, oh great and glorious Knower of Pure from Irredeemable, holder of the True Correct Media Opinions"

[librarymage]

[grabs your shoulders and shakes you] something being widely accepted fanon does not actually make it "basically canon" and it doesn't mean people who don't incorporate it into their fics or acknowledge it are doing something wrong

[teratorex]

[inthetags]

Enough with Male blorbos this, female blorbos that, Put in the tags your NON-BINARY fave!

[perplexingly]

Comic based on the chapter The Field of Cormallen.

[demirose-colored-glasses]

I'm all for challenging amatonormarivity but I am fucking sick of people who pass off LITERAL ABUSE as "proof of love, its so romantic why can't you see by this guy beating up this guy for fun that they are so deeply in LOVE IN CANON OPEN YOUR EYES if you disagree you're just a homophobe!!" telling me ":/ ew why can't they just be friends? Why do they have to be dating??" Whenever I have like THREE friends to lovers ships (many of which are CANON Like I literally just enjoying the relationship to creator gave me but also often does have chatacters who are just friends) like. Shit. I don't know why can't two white guys beat up on each other without a being "true love", Karen. Mind your buisness.

[pauliedraws]

It's the Stardew Valley guys. Took a while to draw because I haven't really had a lot of motivation to draw lately.

[demirose-colored-glasses]

POV: your parents have been "Staying Together For The Kids"