Demon~lover

~born 2003~ ~I’m sorry I don’t do requests~ Feel free to use my posts for fanfic ideas! Please tag me though so I can read them!! THE PUDDLE MUST HAVE SACRIFICES

[demon-lover-669]

Ace no understand

Ace: I heard the pope died… I could do that job what do I gotta do?

Y/n: touch kids

Ace: *without realizing* i could do that

Y/n: 🤣🤣🤣

[demon-lover-669]

Ace and y/n: *watching the show border security*

On the tv

Border officer: is your wife waiting outside for you?

Man under arrest: I dunno

Ace: if I got detained would you wait in the security area for me

Y/n: this is my vacation so fuck no you can get sent back. My passport’s legal

[demon-lover-669]

Y/n: *watching a horror movie with Leona*

Leona: I don’t think I’d get taken down by a slasher

Y/n: 😐 you’d think it’s Ruggie pranking you and go “come on! Kill me! You won’t!” And get killed

Leona: *silent*

[demon-lover-669]

Cold ones on YouTube’s cooking videos are literally Y/N and Carter in the kitchen while Trey watched

Example video

[demon-lover-669]

Ace and Y/n: *reading a sign*

Y/n: Watch out 8 foot tall Ghost from circus crash?! Holy fuck 8 foot!

Ace: yeah 8 foot would be scary but imagine running into the ghost of Neige’s tiny people

Y/n: I need to go home… I hate this place

[demon-lover-669]

Jamal during his chapter: *turning someone into his evil minion* go get me the Perfect

The minion: no i don’t wanna!

Jamal: get me the perfect!

The minion: *starts walking away* i don’t wanna!

Jamal: GO GET THE PERFECT!

The minion: *standing in the doorway* you’re not my real dad!

[demon-lover-669]

Azul: ok so we need to do our taxes

Y/n: my papers are over here *points to papers*

Y/n: my computers over here *points to computer*

Y/n: but! Imma do the shuffle *starts dancing*

[demon-lover-669]

Y/n: *sitting in the hospital waiting room with crewel and Trein making a snap story* accidentally nurtured my boy~

Trein: *filling out Crowley’s paperwork*

Crewel: *keeping Crowley from screaming*

[demon-lover-669]

So I was thinking about Fae…. And their stories specifically the one where they steal babies and swap them for evil changelings

Do you think Lilia swapped Silver for a changeling?

[demon-lover-669]

Idia: *asking to move in with his shy girlfriend*

Y/n: *Silence then says* how am I going to introduce you to my cat?

Idia: what about your family?

Y/n: huh? Oh yeah them too

[demon-lover-669]

Ace: eww why do you watch that…

Deuce: *gagging from watching*

Y/n: I watch Fear Factor because jigsawing people in real life is illegal.

Ace: oh

[demon-lover-669]

Y/n: I scared Riddle yesterday

Ace: how?

Y/n: so I was doing my knuckles deep business

Ace: ok? And?

Y/n: while Riddle came knocking on my door so i turned my vibrator off and slammed it in my drawer

Ace: oooo. And?

Y/n: it turned on because I closed the drawer to hard

Ace: oh… shit

[demon-lover-669]

Ace finds helium

Ace: *breathing helium for the first time*

Y/n: oh no….

Ace: *with high voice* THIS IS MY MOMENT!!!

Deuce: no….

Ace: BABY SHARK DOO DOO DO DO

[demon-lover-669]

lol imagine Rook’s main language(home language? I don’t remember the word shhh!)) is French and y/n teaches him a bunch of medical terms in American

Y/n: rook why are your pants stained

Rook: *had spilled red wine on himself* I have hemorrhoids

Epel: *bursts into giggles*

Y/n: *giggling* um he just learned that word

Epel: yet he still doesn’t know what it means

Rook: *still doesn’t understand* I have hemorrhoids

[demon-lover-669]

Stu Macher would drink your menstrual cup like a shot prove me wrong

[demon-lover-669]

Dorm leader: *explaining something to y/n*

Y/n: I wanna understand but I’m a bimbo and you are standing in front of my desk so I’m face level with your cock

Dorm leader: *has stopped working*

[demon-lover-669]

Leona likes thick partners

Y/n: *straightening their pants in place while explaining something* and so~

Leona: *whistles at them*

Y/n: stop fucking whistling at me!