"Katara would not want Aang to give up his attachment to her for the Avatar State! She literally discouraged him from mastering it at the beginning of book 2!"
No, she didn't. What she said was this:
What she discouraged was trying to rush the process through reckless behavior. The episode makes a parallel between Aang allowing Fong to try and force the Avatar State with Zuko believing Azula when she lies about Ozai wanting him back home. Zuko, like Aang, is rushing into a dangerous situation because of the promise of getting what he wants.
Katara, like Iroh with Zuko, begs Aang to slow down and think things through.
Katara also tells Aang that seeing him in the Avatar State was scary, but not because she is against the Avatar State itself. Seeing Aang unable to control that power was scary for her. What the Guru tried to get Aang to do, master that power through careful control and study, was exactly what Katara wanted.
Atla is a martial arts show that borrows from a lot of eastern philosophy. Strength through study and discipline rather than raw power is therefore a major theme.
Katara voices that Aang's inability to control his power makes her scared, and then because Aang doesn't listen to her, she is put in danger. Physically trapped and in need of rescue. Not because Aang chose the Avatar State over her, but because he made a choice based on raw emotion rather than temperance.
As much as Katara cares for Aang, I do not think that being put in danger because of his recklessness and needing him to save her is what she would want, nor is it a real display of love. It puts her in a position she should never have to be in.
And, upon writing this analysis, I actually realized that when Aang apologizes to Katara in the Crossroads of Destiny, it isn't because he gave up his attachment to her (because he didn't and if he couldn't do it with the Guru, no way could he do it in .5 seconds while she's being threatened by Azula and the Dai Li.)
It's actually meant to be the book-end to this, from the end of the first episode of book 2, after the gaang leave General Fong:
Aang apologizes to Katara and hopes she never has to see him in the uncontrolled Avatar State again.
Then, at the end of book 2, Aang goes into the Avatar State in a desperate moment in the catacombs, knowing that he never mastered the Avatar State, knowing he would break his promise to Katara.
I've never seen anyone take this interpretation, but I'm absolutely sure it was intentional, because it parallels Zuko's narrative so nicely. Zuko who makes a decision to trust Azula over Iroh in the first episode of book 2, putting both their lives in danger, and who makes the choice to side with Azula in the finale, betraying Iroh. Iroh who only ever wanted him to be safe, like Katara wanted Aang to be safe.
This interpretation makes a lot of sense, too, considering how angry Katara is with Aang in the Awakening, and why she felt so betrayed during the Crossroads of Destiny. Unfortunately, Katara focuses on how Zuko betrayed her and Aang's Avatar State arc is rewritten to be an external conflict instead of an internal one, and Katara's anger at Aang is redirected to have her be REALLY angry at her dad, so the show never acknowledges how Katara was actually betrayed by Aang.
That would've been a hell of a conflict if it had actually been addressed, though.
Instead we get Aang threatening Katara with the uncontrolled Avatar State because she won't be his girlfriend.
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