Masterlist I do video games and movie imagines, headcanons I'm taking any requests at the moment so good ahead sent anything with your heart content | 20s blog|
a few months has passed since your daughter becomes the firm's favorite little visitor. ever so kind and charming, harumi befriends everyone in the building. she always has everyone fight over who gets to watch her while you finish up work.
hiromi, (un)surprisingly, always wins whenever he's part of the competition. he only needs to put his palm out before harumi grabs it happily. he is always so smug about it, too.
one morning, as you prepare breakfast, your phone rings. looking over the caller id, you see your boss's name. confused as to why he's calling so early, let alone without sending a warning message, you hastily pick it up.
"attorney," you greet. "good morning. how can i help you?"
"good morning," hiromi replies. you can hear a busy street in the other end of the line. "i've stopped by at a store. what does harumi need for school?"
you pause. your eyes flicker to your daughter who's still fighting sleep at the dinner table.
"...what?"
"harumi. what does she need for school?" you can hear the quiet shuffling of objects before he continues. "i'll buy them for you. i'm already at the bookstore to buy stationeries for the office."
you bite your lip. for some reason, this is all so embarrassing. harumi is your daughter, and you definitely do not want anyone to inconvenience themselves over your responsibility.
with a shake of your head, you reply, "there's really no need, mr. higuruma. i'll buy them myself. you don't have to worry about it."
"then i'll miss out on the discount," hiromi retorts dryly.
you almost laugh. "buy more supplies for the office then," you suggest in exasperation. "everyone leeches off your stuff anyway, attorney. better come prepared."
"i've already talked to them about it," hiromi calmly responds. "they are grown men and women with a salary. they can buy their own brown folders and bond papers."
"yes, so you must be aware that i'm also a grown woman who can buy my own daughter's school supplies."
"i'm aware. you are also the woman whose child i care deeply about."
you stop whatever you're doing right then. your face starts to burn. it means nothing, right? your boss takes care of harumi a lot at work, it's only natural he feels drawn to buying her things.
"miss secretary," hiromi says after a moment. "how about you put your phone on speaker and let me talk to harumi?"
you don't know what has gotten into you when you obliged almost immediately. clicking the speaker button, you cross the kitchen to reach the little girl.
"harumi, mr. higuruma's on the phone. he's asking for you."
harumi, still so sleepy earlier, perks up from her seat. she excitedly takes the phone from your hand.
"mr. higuruma!"
"harumi, good morning," the man warmly greets. "i'm at the bookstore store. would you like anything? what do you need for school?"
harumi looks up in thought. "well... i need the primary colors paint for my art class, i need sparkly paper for my science class, i need snacks for my recess—"
"—harumi," you whisper-shout. you shake your head, embarrassed.
your daughter's mouth forms an 'o' shape. "oh, mama said no. never mind, mr. higuruma!"
hiromi sighs from the other end. "your mother is stubborn and hard-headed. i'll get them for you, sweetheart. anything else?"
you purse your lips as harumi starts listing everything out.
what greets you and harumi at the firm is even more surprising. on your desk are four full shopping bags. your jaw drops as harumi starts excitedly rummaging through them.
your little girl starts squealing.
"wow! glitter pens! i didn't ask for these!"
"a new sketchbook! mama, look—it has strawberry shortcake and her friends on the cover!"
"new color pencils? mama, i've always wanted these! it's the expensive kind we see at the store, remember?"
you heart starts trying to claw its way out of your chest as you watch harumi. every single bag is for her, and it's all full of school supplies and materials for arts and crafts. you've barely had anyone to help you raise your daughter, and now that there is finally someone else so willing to put on effort for her...
just then, you feel someone behind you, and then a large hand on your back. startled, you snap your head to the side where you find hiromi holding up one more bag, this time towards you.
"hello," he greets. "i may have gone overboard with the shopping. i bought some necessities for your cubicle as well."
you take the bag from him, speechless.
"...attorney," you force out. "you really didn't have to. i... do you have the receipt? i'll pay you back—really, this is all too much."
"nonsense," hiromi says with a small smile. "she needs them, doesn't she?"
"the school supplies, maybe, but the other things are just pure indulgent..."
"then let me indulge the both of you."
your brain rewires again. with wide eyes, you look at him again. annoyingly enough, he still looks unbothered.
hiromi glances at you. "i bought us snacks for later. they're in the mini fridge at my office. tell me if both of you are hungry."
okay. so your heart feels like it's finally out of your chest and is sitting in your mouth instead. you feel dizzy, overwhelmed by everything this morning.
before you can say anything, harumi pops her head out of one of the shopping bags.
"mr. higuruma?" she calls out.
"yes, harumi?"
"thank you!" she patters towards hiromi and embraces his hips. "you bought a lot of things for me and i'm very happy. i will make good use of them, mister. i promise!"
hiromi's eyes soften. he gently pries her arms off him before he crouches to her height, holding her hands instead.
"you're welcome, sweetheart," he says. "your mama did mention a while ago that you're part of the honor roll this quarter. treat them as a little reward from me."
the little girl brightens up, nodding enthusiastically. her pigtails bounce against her head, the sight enough for you to finally melt.
you stayed at the firm with hiromi for an overtime. as you two work to finish the remaining documents on his desk, harumi sleeps peacefully on the couch across the office. as soon as everything wrapped up at around seven in the evening, you start packing up.
"thanks for dinner, attorney," you say, back still facing him as you arrange the shopping bags from earlier morning.
hiromi looks at you and hums. "i'll wait at the bus stop with you. you're bringing a lot of things home."
so he did. without much thought, he gently gathers the dozing harumi in his arms while you take the bags. minutes later, you reach the bus stop in front of the building where you wait for your commute home.
"next trip is at quarter to eight," hiromi says as he settles down on the bench, adjusting harumi on his chest. he watches you sit beside him before he adds, "fifteen minutes more."
you hum in response. for a few moments, it is silent as you think about the day you had.
you've never encountered someone so patient with your daughter, going even as far as involving himself in her personal matters. you glance at hiromi secretly, just in time to see him adjust harumi's hair and pulling his coat higher into her shoulders when she shivered a little in her sleep.
your throat run dries at the sight. for so long, you wanted this for your daughter. though harumi had always made it clear that you were already enough for her, you still didn't miss whenever the girl's eyes would linger whenever she saw a father and a child playing together.
now that someone has unknowingly stepped into that role... harumi had stopped. that part always made you wonder. what changed? was it hiromi?
just then, an old lady and her daughter arrives at the stop. you scoot closer to hiromi to make room for them, the old woman smiling when she noticed.
"thank you," she says. after settling on the seat, he glances at the three of you and hums. "your daughter has your husband's eyes. reminds me of my daughter and my husband."
your heart drops to your ass. before you could deny anything, the younger woman laughs quietly.
"mom... let's leave them alone. they probably had a long day."
"what? i'm just saying what i see."
you can feel hiromi staring at the back of your head. suddenly, getting hit by a bus felt less painful than enduring whatever this was right now. you internally start panicking when he doesn't deny anything, so you take matters into your own hands.
"he's not my husband," you quickly say with a pained laugh. "he's my boss, but yes she's my daughter."
the old woman blinks. "oh. well i'll be damned. are you sure?"
"mom," the younger woman covers her face. "please leave them alone."
"what? they look like a family."
you nearly choke. beside you, hiromi finally clears his throat. "she's telling the truth," he says with a small smile. "i'm her employer."
the old woman nods slowly.
"ah."
a beat passes. then, she looks at harumi, still sleeping peacefully against his chest before adding, "very devoted employer."
your face burns hot.
"ma'am..."
"i didn't mean anything bad," she says with an innocent smile. "it's just nice to see a man taking such good care of a child who isn't even his."
that shuts you up instantly because, after everything, it's true. hiromi has been more of a dad to harumi in three months than her biological father in six years. even as something as simple as the school supplies for her you used to beg the guy for was provided by your boss without so much as a request nor a complaint.
if all, hiromi did everything for harumi with a proud smile.
the old woman smiles knowingly and turns back to her daughter.
"young people these days are always so complicated. when your father and i met..."
"mom..."
the bus stop is then filled with stories from older days. you and hiromi remain quiet for the a while, waiting for the bus to arrive.
a few minutes after the old woman started talking the night away, you glance at him apologetically.
"i'm sorry about that, attorney," you whisper. "i didn't expect i'd drag you into something so awkward."
hiromi glances back at you. he looks strangely thoughtful.
"hm?" he hums. "it wasn't awkward. if anything, i think she simply noticed something i haven't."
your heart skips. you force yourself to ask, "what is it?"
he doesn't answer immediately. instead, his gaze settles on harumi again before quietly answering, "how comfortable she is with me."
you swallow.
"she really likes you."
"i suppose she does."
hiromi looks up again and looks at you—really looks at you.
"so i hope you'll have me. even just for a while."
pt. 1 | hiromi higuruma thought he knew everything about his secretary.
then one phone call introduced him to her six-year-old daughter.
pairing: higuruma x f!reader
content: secretary!reader, boss!higuruma, single mom!reader, slow burn, fluff, hiromi accidentally becomes a dad, your daughter's name is harumi
hiromi is in the middle of fastening the buttons of his shirt when he receives a phone call from his secretary. he looks over the screen and sees your name. with one more firm press of a button, he reaches to the device and answers.
"good morning, attorney," you greet him as soon as the line connects. "i have a big favor i have to ask you today. my daughter's baby sitter canceled last minute, and i have no one else to watch her. would you mind if i bring her to the firm? i promise she'll stay at my desk."
hiromi blinks.
"...your daughter," he repeats, bewildered. "i was not aware you have children."
you chuckle awkwardly from the other end. "just her, attorney," you explain, "and it's just the two of us, so..."
he sets his shock and curiosity aside as he nods. "is that so? yes, you can bring her here. just make sure she won't disturb the others."
"thank you, attorney. i'm sorry for the inconvenience."
"don't apologize. i understand your circumstances."
after the line dies, hiromi stares at the caller id. for the three years he's had you as his secretary, he realized just how much he does not know you outside office walls.
you two work seamlessly together—you had all of his work affairs such as schedules and documents and the like handled before he could even lift a finger. for the longest time he's been a lawyer, only you were the one who managed to make his work easier.
when hiromi arrives at the firm an hour later, the air seems different—lighter, as if everyone just collectively forget their burdens for the day. he also notices other employees trying to look over towards your cubicle.
there, by your desk, sits a little girl no older than six years old. all her attention is on the sketchbook in front of her, drawing a pretty pink character.
hiromi slows down to a stop. for a brief moment, he simply watches. the little girl sits with remarkable patience for someone her age, legs swinging gently beneath the chair that was far too tall for her. every so often, she glances up at you before returning to her drawing, content simply being nearby.
you notice him first and immediately stand.
"mr. higuruma, good morning."
it takes a second for him to pry his eyes from the girl before turning his attention to you. "good morning," he greets back. "is this your daughter?"
at being referred to, the little girl looks up from her sketchbook, blinks her big eyes at him, and then quickly slides off the chair. she smooths her dress before giving him a polite bow.
"good morning, mr. attorney," she greets. the girl straightens up with a bright smile. "i'm harumi. i'm six years old, and i'm going to start first grade soon."
hiromi blinks once before he visibly softens up. he crouches to meet her eyes and replies, "nice to meet you, harumi. i'm hiromi higuruma, thirty-six years old, and i'm a lawyer."
you try to bite back a smile. you've never seen your boss this soft. before harumi can try anything funny, you gently take her hand.
"okay, let's leave mr. higuruma alone n—"
"—would you like to see my drawings?" the little girl asks the man excitedly, showing him her sketchbook. "i love strawberry shortcake and i draw her lots."
harumi points at a character in her sketchbook. for a six year old, hiromi thought in surprise, she draws well.
"this one is strawberry shortcake. she has lots of friends, like here—it's cherry jam and raspberry torte. she has lots more of friends but my favorite are the pink ones, so i only drew them."
you cringe inwardly as you watch hiromi nod along, afraid of inconveniencing him any further.
"apologies, attorney, we'll leave you to your work now." you tap on harumi's shoulder. "come on, mr. higuruma's busy—"
"i can spare a minute," hiromi says with a small smile. "i find her drawings interesting, anyway."
harumi visibly beams at this.
soon, your daughter becomes a regular at the firm. thanks to her pleasing personality, everyone starts looking for harumi when you don't arrive to work with her in tow.
"aww, someone else is watching her?"
"where's harumi?"
"when is she visiting again?"
even hiromi starts asking.
the next time harumi visits, hiromi insists watching her while you finish your work.
"i'm free for the next two hours," he told you. "let me watch her so you can move without worry."
so you let him. now, harumi is across his desk, talkative as ever as she draws.
"everyone at school say i'm like strawberry shortcake," she proudly says. "because i make a lot of friends and i'm nice and i fix it when my classmates fight."
hiromi hums, glancing at her from his computer. "that so?" he asks. "i don't know her, but you are a kind girl, so you must be very similar."
"i have a classmate who is like shrek, someone who is like wreck-it-ralph, someone like snow white, and lots more," harumi earnestly responds. "mr. higuruma, i can think of a character like you as well."
curious, hiromi puts his pen down. "yeah?" he smiles. "who?"
harumi thinks hard. she shuts her eyes close and starts humming.
"mm..."
after half a minute, she opens her eyes again.
"never mind," she says. "you're too weird."
hiromi coughs. he clasps his hands together in question.
"...why do you think so?"
"you're so serious," harumi immediately answers. "you always look tired. you also always talk so deeply, like this—" she talks with an exaggerated bass, "—and your eye brows are always down like this."
harumi drops her hand and goes back to smiling brightly. "but i don't think you're so scary anymore."
"yeah? what changed?"
"well... you started smiling more!" she leans in and pinches his cheek. "yay!"
that is the exact moment you walk in. you immediately grow mortified when your daughter starts kneading hiromi's cheek.
"wha—harumi!"
the little girl immediately drops her hand.
"...mama."
you stand in the doorway, equal parts horrified and apologetic.
"what are you doing?" you whisper in disbelief before hurrying over. "i'm so sorry, attorney." you gently pry harumi away from hiromi, who still looks mildly stunned. "don't i always remind you that we keep our hands to ourselves?"
harumi pouts.
"but his face looked lonely."
you look beyond appalled now. the man is your boss, and here is you daughter, being overly familiar with him.
"his face looked what?"
"it looked like it needed this!" before anyone can stop her, she reaches up once more and gently presses both of hiromi's cheeks inward.
"squish."
silence filled the room. the entire office somehow feels quieter as you silently wish for the ground to eat you. before you could apologize again, hiromi snorts out a laugh.
"...is my face no longer lonely?" he asks.
harumi beams again.
"nope!" she leans towards him. "you smile now, you don't sound like this anymore—" she mocks a deep voice, "—law, law, papers, crime, work."
"i never sounded like that," he argues.
the bickering goes back and forth, and you finally let out a laugh.
hiromi's attention shifts immediately. in the three years you've worked together, he'd heard you chuckle politely, laugh with clients, and sighed in relief after winning difficult cases.
but this? it was different. your shoulders are relaxed, your eyes crinkled with mirth—for a second, you weren't his impossibly competent secretary carrying the weight of an entire office.
you were simply... a mother laughing at her ridiculous child.
he'd always assumed your life outside the office was difficult. he just never imagined it could also be this warm. somehow, between harumi's nonstop chatter and your quiet laughter, the office no longer felt like a workplace.
it felt... lived in. warm. the kind of place you look forward to after a long day.
hiromi had spent years returning to an apartment that greeted him with nothing but silence.
tonight, for the first time, he caught himself wondering what it would be like to come home to bright giggles, scattered crayons, quiet laughter, and someone waiting to tell him about strawberry shortcake.
to have someone look up when he walked through the door and say, "welcome home."
pt. 3 | hiromi higuruma thought he knew everything about his secretary.
then one phone call introduced him to her six-year-old daughter.
pairing: higuruma x f!reader
content: secretary!reader, boss!higuruma, single mom!reader, hiromi accidentally becomes a dad, your daughter's name is harumi
part two here.
harumi looks at you as you sit by your vanity getting ready. the little girl tries to match you; every time mama dabs a tissue to fix her eyeliner, harumi dabs on her own face as well. every time mama puts on blush, harumi secretly takes the blush from the table after to put some on her own cheeks. every time mama combs the tangles in her hair, harumi combs hers, too.
harumi looks up to you.
that is a fact. your daughter watches every little thing you do as if you are her sole universe, and, well—maybe you are.
"so pretty, mama," she whispers earnestly as you finish doing your makeup. when you catch her reflection on the mirror, you smile warmly.
"you think so, baby?"
harumi beams.
"the prettiest!" she squeals as she shuffles closer to you. "are you going to see mr. higuruma without me again?"
one thing harumi noticed is that lately, after going to work together, mama and mr. higuruma often takes her home to be with the babysitter.
she would watch as mama instructs the sitter for the evening. after everything that was needed to be said is relayed, you would kiss the top of harumi's head with the promise that you will be back after her bed time.
harumi doesn't really mind. the baby sitter is nice—she lets her watch cartoons and sometimes makes her hot chocolate before bed.
but, even when the bedtime snacks are tempting, she can't help but wonder, mama is going out a lot with mr. higuruma.
like the babysitter, mr. higuruma is nice. maybe even nicer. he brings her gifts, talks with her about her drawings, listens when she talks about what adventure strawberry shortcake and her friends did in the newest episode.
she remembers a conversation she had with a classmate after telling the class about hiromi.
"so a dad," her classmate had pointed out.
harumi paused. "no," she replied after a moment. "mr. higuruma is not my dad."
"but that's what dads do," another added. "they care a lot."
it made harumi think.
mr. higuruma always spent time with her.
always made sure she's happy.
always made sure she's well provided for.
so, yes, the textbook definition of a dad—the textbook being her bedtime storybooks.
but mr. higuruma isn't her dad. harumi is very sure about that. her dad was someone else she'd never met. someone mama never talked about past someone who hurt me a long time ago, so she stopped asking. if it hurts mama, it's not something she wants to dwell on.
it's whatever.
harumi has mama.
mama is enough.
besides, mr. higuruma isn't trying to be her dad—he was just mr. higuruma. just a kind man. her drawing appreciator. her emergency snack provider. her favorite person at the office to sit beside when mama was busy. and, apparently, someone who liked buying too many things at bookstores.
harumi giggles at the memory.
"are you listening, baby?"
harumi looks back at you. you are already standing, slipping your earrings on.
"yes, mama," she nods.
"then what did i say?"
harumi pauses. she definitely wasn't listening. blinking up at you, she murmurs, "you said..." she thinks hard. "be a good girl and don't eat candy before dinner."
you stare at her as you reply, "i didn't say that."
harumi grins sheepishly. "but you were thinking it, mama."
you laugh before opening your arms. your little girl immediately barrels into you for an embrace. kissing the top of her head, you tell her, "be good for the babysitter, okay?"
"okay."
"and don't stay up waiting for me. you have a bedtime for a reason."
"okay."
"and if you need anything, tell the babysitter and she'll call me."
"okay."
you kiss her forehead again. harumi leans towards your touch before asking, "are you going mr. higuruma's house?"
you smile, amused.
"no, sweetheart," you reply after a moment. "just somewhere with him."
"oh."
harumi thinks about that.
"you're spending lots of time with him," she comments. "are you going on dates with him?"
she watches as you bite your lip, face heating up.
"...no, not really. where did you learn that word?"
"tv," harumi replies. "if it's not a date, then why are you extra pretty? why do you always try to look extra pretty when you meet with mr. higuruma?"
"okay, enough questions," you say in embarrassment.
"i don't mind, mama," harumi immediately says with a soft smile. "i'm happy that you're spending lots of time with him."
and really, she is.
mr. higuruma feels safe.
she feels happy when he's around.
mama? harumi sees how mama changed.
work doesn't tire her anymore, especially on the days when mr. higuruma hugs her from behind while she files documents.
she smiles more after coming home late with him.
mama talks a lot on her phone now, too, and it's always mr. higuruma.
he's a nice change. mr. higuruma is a nice addition to team harumi and mama.
the next few weeks become a blur of those little changes. harumi starts noticing that mama doesn't just come hone with mr. higuruma anymore.
sometimes, mr. higuruma comes over.
sometimes, when the babysitter is here, harumi knows mama is going to his apartment.
sometimes, they all go somewhere together.
and sometimes, when she wakes up in the morning, she finds mr. higuruma already sitting at their kitchen table, drinking coffee while mama cooks breakfast. those are her favorite mornings.
it's not that something particularly exciting happens—usually, mr. higuruma just reads the newspaper while mama complains that he keeps leaving his mug beside the sink instead of putting it in the dishwasher.
sometimes they argue about what to have for breakfast.
sometimes mama laughs so hard she topples over.
sometimes mr. higuruma smiles with the tip of his ears tinting red.
harumi likes those mornings because they feel strangely familiar, like something she's known for much longer than she actually has. she doesn't know what exactly happened—she only knows that somewhere along the way, mornings stopped being just mama's and hers.
now there was someone else sitting at the table who knew where the spoons were, how she liked her eggs, and how she wants the crust in all her sandwiches cut. only mama knew that, but now? mr. higuruma knows, too, and it feels right.
harumi thinks it's nice.
mama thinks so too.
right?
and mr. higuruma?
does he?
harumi stands by the hallway where she watches you and hiromi. she takes note of the way your brows furrowed the same way when you're hurt, and how hiromi's do the exact same thing.
maybe that's why you look like you belong together.
she watches as hiromi points at the hallway, unaware of her presence. you were supposed to have dinner in a while. maybe they're arguing about what to eat?
maybe.
so why is mr. higuruma packing up?
she watches as hiromi grabs his things. he says something else before walking out of the door.
harumi purses her lips. mr. higuruma just left, and mama looks... stricken. was it really about dinner? one will never know the answer to something until they ask.
so harumi asks.
"mama?"
your head snaps towards her.
"...baby."
you quickly rub your eyes as she steps closer. harumi glances at the door before returning her attention to you.
"mr. higuruma just left," she carefully points out. "he'll be back, right?"
"..."
you strained a smile as you shake your head.
"...maybe tomorrow then?" harumi tries.
"i don't think so, baby," you force out. you take her hand and lead her to the kitchen. as you prepare some baking sheets, you say, "mama and harumi are a good team. we don't need anyone else, right?"
pt. 4 | hiromi higuruma thought he knew everything about his secretary.
then one phone call introduced him to her six-year-old daughter.
pairing: higuruma x f!reader
content: secretary!reader, boss higuruma, single mom!reader, hiromi accidentally becomes a dad, your daughter's name is harumi, angst (trouble in paradise), not proof-read
part three here.
"here you go!"
hiromi received the letter from harumi. the little girl had been so excited to hand it to him that he couldn't contain his curiosity.
"what's this?"
"read it, it's for my class!"
so hiromi unfolded the paper. it was a letter addressed to parents, informing them of an upcoming family day at harumi's school and requesting their presence at the event.
"oh."
he looked up at her with a small smile.
"are you and your mother going?"
harumi nods enthusiastically.
"every year," she said. then, as though the answer was obvious, she added, "now you can join us!"
hiromi's smile remained, but something in his chest tightened. harumi doesn't understand the distinction between 'boss', her mother's 'suitor', 'parental figure', and 'family.' all she knows is that mr. higuruma is now a major part of their daily lives.
"...do you want me to go?" he asked her after a moment.
harumi looked at him then as if he lost a head. "of course," she responded. "i expect you to come, mr. higuruma!"
hiromi knew deep inside he should be flattered, that being accepted by this specific little girl into her family means something deeper.
that's exactly it—it does mean something more than just 'acting like her dad.'
*if i accept this, what am i promising her?*
hiromi swallows. he folded the paper up again and put it inside his pocket.
"i will talk with your mother about it," he said.
hiromi watches as you set two cups of coffee on the table before settling down beside him. after making yourself comfortable, that's when he brings the letter up. he takes it from his pocket and hands it to you.
"harumi gave me this today."
"hm?"
you take it from his hand. hiromi watches as your expression softens while reading it.
"oh," you chuckle. "family day."
he nods. "she invited me."
"i assumed she would."
"that's what concerns me."
hiromi's shoulder grow rigid when your face falls for a second before you try to brush it off with an amused smile.
"why?" you ask.
"i think it would be better if i didn't attend."
his eyes lift away from yours when he sees you straighten up. his mouth moves before he could stop himself.
"i think i'm becoming too involved—"
"—that's bullshit, hiromi," you laugh out, this time more strained. "you can't... you can't possibly give us everything the last couple of months only for you to... to say that."
hiromi's brows knit together.
"that's not what i meant," he says, a little sharper than he intended to.
"then what did you mean?"
"i meant that i've become too involved in harumi's life before i've made any formal commitment to you."
hiromi takes a deep breath, his hand coming up to run his fingers through his hair in frustration.
"look, this isn't only about you and me," he tries to explain gently, but he can already see you bracing yourself. despite this, he continues. "it's about harumi, too. she's... already attached to me, and i don't want to encourage that attachment unless i know i can stay—"
"—know if you can stay?" hiromi finally looks at you as you stand up in frustration. you start pacing the room as you add, "so, what—all those... those 'indulging us' you asked me to let you do and... and all those 'showing up when it mattered' was just... what? testing the waters?"
"that's not—"
"—what you meant?" you laugh humorlessly. "so you're not sure of this. of us. of my daughter."
"will you just let me finish?"
you finally freeze in your tracks. hiromi starts making his way forward, steps heavy with frustration before finally stopping a few feet away from you. for a moment, neither of you says anything.
he can see it now; the way your arms folded over your chest. the way your shoulders have gone rigid. the way you're refusing to look at him. you're mot angry, at least not emtirely—you're scared.
"...i am sure of you," hiromi says quietly.
you finally looks at him.
"then why are you talking like you're not?"
"because i'm not sure of myself." hiromi exhales. looking down at his hands. "i know what i want. i want you. i want to be with you. i want to wake up beside you every morning and come home to you every night."
he pauses.
"and i want harumi in my life." his voice softens, "but wanting something and knowing that i can give it everything it deserves are two different things."
you stare at him in disbelief. "then what have you been doing?" you ask, voice trembling.
"...what?"
"you keep talking about what you're going to give her, hiromi, but she doesn't want some grand promise from you. she wants you to show up—that's it. that's all you've been giving her, and now you're telling me that was too much? what did you expect to happen from the attachment you've already created?"
"i don't want to make her believe something i haven't earned the right to promise yet."
"you've been doing that!" you snap. "you showed up every time it mattered. you let her get used to you being there. you let her expect you. you taught her that if she looked for you, you'd be there. and now you're telling me you don't want us to think something of it?"
you point at him.
"i never asked you to be her father. i never asked you to provide for us. i never asked you to buy her anything."
"i know," hiromi mutters.
"then why are you acting like this is some responsibility you've suddenly been trapped into?"
his expression tightens. hiromi points at the hallway before saying, "because she is a responsibility!"
because harumi is.
she's a child whose life he would be responsible for when he commits to you, and he refuses to take that lightly. but... you've spent six years being treated as though harumi herself is a burden. hiromi knows this, and he refuses to be another man who walks away.
the frustration in his face immediately melts away when he sees the hurt that flashed on yours.
"...baby," hiromi breathes out after a tense moment. "that... that came out wrong, it's not what you think—"
"out," you mutter. "go out." before he could say anything else, you continue. "no one's forcing you to stay with us. i've spent six years raising her on my own, i don't need you now all of the sudden."
"you're not listening to me," hiromi says. "you're putting words in my mouth. i love you. i love harumi. i love the both of you."
"i'm trying so hard to believe you right now," you say, your voice finally cracking, "but all i can hear is harumi's a big responsibility. she is. a child is." you run your hand through your hair, letting out a pained laugh. "you're right. a child is a responsibility. why am i acting like this?"
hiromi freezes. he watches as you start pacing again, unaware of your own tears. realizing you're spiraling, he steps closer to you.
"...sweetheart," he whispers. "hey. look at me." when you refused to, he tips your chin up towards him. "i'm not leaving."
"please leave," you force out. "please."
hiromi stares at you. for once, he doesn't know what to say. every instinct screams at him to stay—you've already dealt with enough people leaving you in your most vulnerable moments, and he doesn't want to add to the count. he just wants to pull you into his arms, to make you understand that he isn't talking about leaving either of you.
but you're crying.
and you're asking him to leave.
so, slowly, he lets his hand fall from your face. he takes a step back, swallows everything he wanted to say, and nods.
"...alright," he quietly says. "i'll give you some space."
you don't answer him. hiromi lingers for another moment, searching your face for anything that might tell him to stay. when he finds nothing, he quietly picks up his coat from the back of the chair.
just as he reaches the door, he stops.
"i meant everything i said," he says. your shoulders tense.
"i love you," hiromi tilts his head towards the hallway, "and i love harumi. that hasn't changed."
the door closes behind him.
you stand there for several minutes, staring at the door. you know this feeling—you know exactly what happens when someone gets too close to harumi. first, they adore her. then they realize just how much your life revolves around her. then they realize loving you means loving her, too.
eventually, they leave.
you have survived it before, you can survive it again,
harumi can't. she loves wholeheartedly. she trusts so willingly. she—
"—mama?"
your eyes snap to her.
"...baby."
you quickly dry your tears as harumi patters over to you. "mr. higuruma just left," she says, glancing at the door. the confusion in her face breaks your heart even more. "he'll be back right?"
will he?
no one ever came back.
how is he different?
you shake your head.
"maybe tomorrow then?" harumi offers.
you try to reply as gently as you could. "i don't think so, baby." before your daughter could ask any more questions, you lead her to the kitchen to finally start the cookies you promised to bake with her.
then, "mama and harumi are a good team. we don't need anyone else, right?"
just making sure.
just in case you fuck it up even more after a proper conversation with him.
"...yes."
even harumi sounds unconvinced.
your phone notifies you of a message minutes later.
early morning tomorrow, let's talk at the café by the firm. i don't like leaving you angry and hurting.
you stare at the text.
...maybe he is different.
a/n: wowwww this was a lot better in my head lmfao. i was so excited while writing this but ended up hating it after rereading... i'll make it up to u guys in pt 5 !!
modern au ৻ꪆ soft bf!sukuna 𝔁 anxious gf!reader ৻ꪆ sfw oneshot!
warnings. suggestive comfort fluff, mdni. heavy mental health dialogue. viewer discretion. reader has anxiety/adhd. it's a bad day. he makes it okay. mentions of blood. making out.
note: this was VERY self indulgent, i apologize :,) had a bad day and wrote about it. hope it's still enjoyable to read.
masterlist | wc: 4.6k
you knew the day was going to be hard the moment you had woken up multiple times in the night. it wasn't new to you that you had bouts of anxiety from time to time, but this was something you hadn't shared with your boyfriend yet. to be honest, it was a point of fear for you on how he would react, which is why you've been keeping it from him.
when you finally got out of bed, you were desperately not rested. the brain fog from the day prior still lingered, and your stomach felt a little twisted with the growing unease. ryomen laid deep in slumber as it was still early enough for there to be no sun rays peeking through your blinds, and you choose to not bother him. it was best to try and get your act together before he could notice.
your first instinct was to go straight for the bathroom, closing the door as quietly as you could manage and clicking the lock slowly. the tiny orange bottle was right where you left it, tucked away behind unused skincare bottles behind the sink where it was innocuous enough that ryomen wouldn't stumble upon it. he never gave you a reason to hide the fact you took medication for your mental health, but it scared you deeply anyhow. what would he think if he knew his usually confident and loud girlfriend had crippling anxiety? your thoughts began to spiral once more, and before you could allow it to worsen you take it with a dry swallow. not ideal, but today was one of those days.
you sat on the toilet, knees pulled to your chin waiting for the feelings to subside. it seems that your brain was a different demon right now, so the usual ten-minute kick-up was not there. your thoughts continued running in circles without ever landing on a concrete issue to fix. there wasn't a problem you could solve or a conversation you could prepare for, just a mass-less loud certainty that something was wrong and you were somehow behind on remedying it.
eventually, you forced yourself to get up and distract yourself. if the thoughts won't leave, the least you could do is replace them, right? routine usually helped you regulate, or so you believed it did. washing your face, brushing your teeth. you tied your hair out of your face and marched quietly into the kitchen. by the time you heard ryomen emerge from the bedroom, you had half of the refrigerator on the counter, mid-deep clean.
he stopped in the doorway wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants, hair still disheveled from sleep. it would've looked cute to you if you didn't already have a week's worth of thoughts occupying your brain at the same time. he stared at you standing in front of an open refrigerator with three leftover containers balanced against your chest.
"babe, why are you cleaning the fridge before sunrise?"
"oh y'know, i was looking at it yesterday and realized there's a lot of old stuff and weird stains inside. no biggie, i just thought i'd be productive." he raises an eyebrow at you. was this the same girl who had to run three loads of laundry because she ran out of clothes to wear?
"did it have to be the first thing you do today?"
you shut the refrigerator harder than necessary. "yes, ryomen. it's not like you were going to do it."
his eyebrows rose slightly again, and you instantly wished you could eat the words back. it was a blatant lie and unnecessary dig, your boyfriend wasn't really much of a slob. maybe not a neat freak, but he did his part when needed. you feel the dark goo of emotions rise as the guilt trails you, but you stay quiet and keep working around him.
ryomen watched you as you placed the chilled miscellaneous condiments on the counter with considerably more force than you usually would. "good morning to you too, then."
"yeah. morning."
you pulled open a cabinet and began rearranging mugs that did not need rearranging in the slightest, mostly because him studying you right now was raising your heart rate in a very non-romantic way. ryomen had always been annoyingly observant when he wanted to be, and today you couldn't tolerate it. "can you just make your coffee and go? you're loitering," you snap.
you yank another mug from the cabinet and immediately realize there is nowhere else for it to go. the shelf is already organized, and now you're standing there holding the stupid thing. "well? you're hovering. it's annoying."
the man wordlessly takes the mug out of your hand with a gentle motion, not irritated. that surprised you— you would rather he get annoyed by your dramatics, tell you that you're the one being weird and start an argument you could sink your teeth into. at least anger could give you an outlet for the boiling pressure in your mind. it was toxic, you knew this, and it hurt that that's where your heart went instead of just being normal.
why couldn't you just be normal?
he doesn't say anything at all as he starts the coffee machine.
it hums noisily between the two of you while you busy yourself with the rest of the fridge, fighting the urge to look over your shoulder. you can feel him moving around behind you, hear the quiet clink of his spoon against ceramic. every ordinary sound felt amplified enough to crawl beneath your skin. when you feel him reach around you to grab something from the fridge, you jerk away so abruptly that your hip bumps into the counter edge. okay, ow.
he looks a little concerned, but you play it off as if it didn't hurt like hell. "… jus' grabbing the milk."
you simply give him a short nod, unwilling to open your mouth. you couldn't trust yourself to not be more mean to him for no fault of his own. the minutes stretch painfully as he sips from his mug without a single remark to you or your behavior, which bothered you even more. shouldn't he reprimand you for being so horrible? at least then you could feel some relief from the voice yelling in your own head, and it instead be his.
you spent the first half of the day trying to outrun yourself.
you got laundry into the machine, as you were definitely many loads behind as usual. you couldn't muster the courage to answer the number of emails pending in your inbox so you resorted to vacuuming at seven in the morning, which you were sure your downstairs neighbors did not appreciate. you made breakfast and lost your appetite halfway through, abandoned it, then became upset with yourself because wasting food made you feel guilty. every task seemed like it should have provided some sense of accomplishment, but instead each one became another thing you could somehow do incorrectly.
ryomen mostly stayed out of your way the whole time. ideally, that should have made things easier for you to focus. but since your brain loves to be incompetent, you became painfully aware of his absence. you had snapped at him twice already, declined breakfast when he offered to finish your leftovers, and pulled away harshly when he placed his hand against your lower back while passing behind you. every action made you feel worse than the last.
by noon, the anxiety had somehow transformed into the overwhelming conviction that you were ruining everything. you stood in the laundry room once more, staring at the washing machine because you couldn't remember whether you had added detergent to the load that just finished.
"fuck…"
you opened the machine and stared inside as though the answer might suddenly appear among the wet clothes.
a voice comes close by your right ear. "what are you doing?"
you jumped so violently that your elbow struck the drying rack behind you on your funny bone. avoidable injury number two for the day. yay.
"cheese and fucking crackers, ryo!"
his face tightened, you couldn't tell whether he was mad at you or worried. "i called your name three times, i didn't mean to scare you."
"obviously i couldn't hear you!"
you stand up straight and pressed both hands against the edge of the washing machine, trying to slow your breath without making it dead obvious. despite your icky internal desire to ignore him, you ask.
"… did i put detergent in here?"
a pause.
"yeah, you did."
you looked at him, accusatory. "how do you know?"
" 'cause i watched you do it."
"when?"
"about forty minutes ago."
forty minutes? it felt like this load took two hours. your throat tightened. "oh, right."
ryomen leaned against the doorway, his brows knitted. "come sit down on the couch with me."
"i don't need to do that, i have to finish cleaning."
"you've been cleaning since five in the morning. you should sit."
"i said i'm fine, i got this."
his jaw shifted slightly. "i didn't ask if you weren't capable of doing it."
that irritated you because it frightened you. were you even capable of doing ordinary tasks if this was already too much to manage?
"stop acting like something is wrong with me!"
there it was. the second the sentence left your mouth, you knew you had given yourself away. ryomen's expression changed completely, soft and more caring. you immediately turned from him.
"forget what i said, just leave me alone."
"baby, stop. c'mere."
you stiffen as he gets closer to you. "no."
you pushed past him before he could stop you, walking quickly toward the kitchen because you needed something to keep your hands busy, anything that would keep you from having that conversation. you were on a thin line already, the rope of your restraint fraying with the tension. you grabbed the abandoned breakfast dishes from earlier and turned on the faucet.
behind you, ryomen sighed. "seriously, you don't have to keep doing this."
"i don't know what you're talking about."
"you pretend to get busy every time you start getting overwhelmed, babe."
your hand stopped scrubbing the glass cup beneath the running water. the feelings in your stomach start to sink disgustingly. you slowly turned your head. "what?" he looked like he regretted the phrasing, but there was no taking it back now.
"no, nothing. nevermind."
you walk away from the sink, the slippery soaped-up glass still in your mildly trembling hand. "no, what did you just say?"
"i said you don't have to—"
suddenly, the glass in your hand slipped. it falls on the wooden floor with a loud shatter, pieces scattering and a few small shards nick your feet. your chest seized so abruptly that you stumbled backward until your hip struck the counter. the room felt too bright even though you only had the windows with natural light open. your hands were shaking hard and balled into fists. your fingers refused to open and stop digging your nails into your palms. you could hear a dying animal somewhere, it was god awful really. until you realize that noise was coming from you.
"shit."
ryomen was beside you immediately, walking as carefully as he could to reach you without stepping on a piece himself.
"p-please don't..!" you tried to sob out, although you weren't entirely certain understandable words were coming out. tears were fully streaming down your face as your vision blurred and you were too weak to fight him when he lifts you up in a princess carry to your bedroom. you press your balled hands to your eyes until colors burst behind your eyelids. every muscle in your body felt painfully wound up, and the embarrassment of being carried through your own apartment while sobbing uncontrollably was somewhere in the back of your mind.
"ryo, put me down, please, i can't— i don't know what's happening, i can't—"
"i know, baby. i know." there wasn't an ounce of teasing in his voice, he was unjustly soft and soothing with you. ryomen nudged the bedroom door open with his foot and brought you toward the bed, but instead of immediately setting you beneath the covers and leaving like you expected, he lowered you carefully onto the edge of the mattress. he crouched in front of you afterward, putting himself below your eye level rather than towering over you. "you're right here with me. don't worry about nothin' else."
you couldn't even properly process what he was saying. your entire body felt foreign, like somebody had turned every organ in your body into a tightrope. your heart was pounding hard enough to make your chest ache, your face felt unbearably hot, and every breath you attempted became another loud gasp that convinced you there wasn't enough oxygen in the room.
"i-i can't breathe, it hurts—"
"you're taking shallow breaths, lovely." ryomen's response came steady and calm. "you're going to make yourself dizzy. just follow me." he exaggerated his breathing enough for you to see it, slow and deep with his hands motioning up and down. you tried to match him as best as you could, with a lot of shakiness. the first attempt failed, followed by the second.
"i can't do it!"
"then we'll do it badly."
that broke through the panic for split second, but ryomen continued. "there's no prize for doing this correctly. breathe wrong, shake, cry. i don't care. i'm staying right here with you until this passes." you take a couple more breaths and you finally begin to slow down.
your tear streaked face looks properly hurt by just how sweet your boyfriend was. i don't deserve such an accommodating partner, you thought.
"i'm sorry, i'm so sorry."
"you don't have anything to be sorry for right now."
"what?! i've been so horrible to you all morning!"
"you've been a bit of a priss-fest, but i signed up for that when i started dating you."
a strangled noise escaped you somewhere between a laugh and a sob.
his mouth twitched into a small smile. "there she is."
you covered your face again, unwilling to meet his eyes for what you wanted to say next. your shoulders shake as everything you had been holding back since sometime during the night finally spilled over.
"i know it's stupid," you began, voice wavering with the tears. "i know people have certain problems and it not be some enormous secret, but i didn't want you looking at me differently. i didn't want you thinking you were obligated to deal with this every time i got bad, or feeling like you have to babysit me, and i especially didn't want you see me when i get these episodes."
ryomen stared at you for several seconds. "you think i didn't know?"
your face grows warmer. "what?.."
"you chew the inside of your cheek until it's bitten raw, i can feel it when we make out. when you're really paranoid you have me check if the front door is locked. you reread texts out loud before you send them, then reread them in your head after you send them as if the words would've changed."
your lips slowly part. god, were you this easy to figure out?
"when we go somewhere new, you look up the parking situation before we leave because not knowing where we're supposed to park makes you nervous. when somebody's tone changes around you, you spend all night trying to figure out if they're mad at you." his thumb brushes absentmindedly against your knee.
"and when it gets bad, you stop eating. don't you think i'd guess something was up with my girl who loves to cook and eat good meals?"
"but that's just..." you struggle for something to say that could make his list of observations less mortifying. "people do those things."
"some people do, yeah. and you do them when you're anxious."
you scowl weakly at him, but there wasn't anger behind it to be real. "i hate you."
"you'll recover."
you sniff, dragging the sleeve of your shirt beneath your nose before another realization makes your entire body tense. "wait, i never said anything about having anxiety." for the first time since this conversation began, ryomen hesitates. it lasts maybe half a second but unfortunately, you know his face too well.
your eyes widen. "ryo."
"sweetheart, please don't work yourself up again."
"ryomen. you know about my meds?!"
".. you're already having a shitty day, don't make it worse—"
your humiliation reaches levels you genuinely hadn't known were achievable.
"oh my god. oh my god!"
you cover your face with both hands again, wishing with every part of yourself that the mattress would somehow open and consume you whole. "you've seen it? bu—how? when?!"
"it doesn't matter when." his voice turns slightly stiff. "you left the cabinet open one morning, and i went in there looking for toothpaste and saw an orange bottle shoved behind enough skincare products to supply a fucking sephora."
"hey—you buy those for me!" you retort. "freakin' enabler…" you mutter under your breath.
"what i spend my money on is not the topic at hand."
you drop your hands into your lap again. "i'm sure you read the label, then."
ryomen looks down at your hands, watching the way your fingers continue rapidly knotting themselves together before gently separating them.
"yes, by accident. but i figured you would tell me when you wanted me to know."
you stare at him. "that's it?"
"baby—what else was i supposed to do?"
"i dunno, ask me?"
"and put you on the spot about something you were clearly hiding because you were uncomfortable talking about it?" he scoffs quietly. "yeah, that would've gone fantastic."
your eyes fall to your joint hands. he was right. even now, after being forced into the conversation by circumstances entirely outside your control, you wanted to crawl into a hole. if he'd approached you months ago holding that bottle and asking for an explanation, you would've probably combusted on the spot.
"i thought i was hiding it well."
"i know that."
somehow that makes your eyes burn with tears again. ryomen notices, cooing at you. "heeeyy, hey, why're you cryin' again?"
"because that's embarrassing! i was just making a fool of myself sneaking around!"
"you can't even hide my birthday presents well, s'okay."
you gasp. "you already saw the ninja creami?!" you shove weakly at his shoulder, but he barely moves. you sniffle loudly before you speak again.
"i've been hiding my meds in my own bathroom and trying to act normal around you this entire time, and you've just been watching me do it like an idiot."
"i wasn't watchin' you hide pills, you psycho. you're not a drug addict."
"you know what i mean!"
the corner of his mouth twitches, but it fades when he sees another tear spill down your cheek. his hand reaches up, thumb catching it before it can trail farther.
"you're not gettin' what i'm tryin' to tell you. sweetheart, none of this is news to me." your expression falters.
"today was new," he clarifies. "i haven't seen it hit you this hard before, and i didn't know exactly what was going on in your head because you never mentioned it. but none of this suddenly turns you into some cursed version of my girlfriend."
you stare down at your lap. "but it feels different now that you've seen it."
"to you, sure it does."
you swallow and nod. "yeah."
"but not to me."
that pulls your eyes back toward him. ryomen shifts from his crouched position and sits beside you on the mattress instead, close enough that your knees brush. he pulls you onto his lap, noticing the cuts on your feet from the glass. the adrenaline from your anxiety attack is probably keeping you from feeling the pain, so he doesn't pipe up about it yet.
"i didn't want you to think i was..." you trail off.
"was what?"
you hesitate, ashamed of the word even before you say it. "difficult."
his face scrunches immediately. "you are difficult."
you gape at him. ryomen continues before you can summon the strength to strangle him. "you're stubborn, mouthy, and somehow lose every phone charger we own. you start arguments when you're hungry and make me guess what you want to eat as if i can read your damn mind. you're extremely fucking difficult."
"this is possibly the worst comfort speech i've ever heard, babe."
"can you be fuckin' patient? i'm getting there."
despite everything, a tiny smile pulls at your mouth. his expression relaxes when he sees.
"you're difficult sometimes because you're a human. so am i! if you wanted to break up every time i was difficult with you, we woulda been done for a long time ago. and if you honestly think i only want the parts of you that are convenient for me, then i've done a pretty shitty job being your boyfriend."
"that's not what i think."
"you just told me you've been hiding your anxiety because you thought i'd feel obligated to babysit you." you wince at him mention the word again. "you basically decided it for me that this would be too much."
"…i didn't mean it like thaaaat."
"but that's what you've been doing."
you don't have anything to say to that. ryomen leans forward slightly, trying to catch your eyes when you look away. "baby, i'm not saying you have to tell me everything. if there are things you want private, they're yours. i'm not entitled to every thought in your head just because we're together." his hand brushes a stray hair out of your face before cupping your cheek.
"but i want you to be able to tell me when you're having a bad day." you lean into his hand, brows upturned. "what would i even say?"
"you could always start with 'i'm having a bad day.'"
"but what are you supposed to do with that?"
"hmm, whatever you need."
"that's the problem, ryo. i don't know what i need when i get like this." you finally slip your hand into his, clasping it firmly. his fingers curl around yours immediately.
"you don't have to show up with fucking instructions. you can tell me, 'i feel awful and i don't know what i need,' and we'll figure it out."
your lips tremble again. "and what if nothing helps?"
"then nothing helps. you have a shitty day." he shrugs one shoulder, thumb moving slowly across your knuckles. "maybe i can't fix it. maybe you can't fix it. that doesn't mean you failed."
you blink. the elementary idea felt almost offensive after the entire morning you'd spent desperately trying to outrun the feeling. you'd cleaned, moved, organized, distracted, scolded yourself and practically begged your own brain to cooperate, because surely anxiety was something you were supposed to defeat before you were allowed to continue with your day.
"i don't like feeling like a chud."
"hah, i know."
"i want it to go away."
"i know that too."
"so how am i supposed to just accept that i might feel bad all day?"
"you don't have to like it." ryomen squeezes your hand. "just quit punishing yourself because you couldn't make it disappear on command." your eyes lower again, pouting.
"and quit punishing me while you're at it. god damn."
you wail. "i said i was sorry!"
"and i'm allowed to give you shit for telling me i was loitering in my own kitchen. you know i had to hold back my sassy comments all day? that's real hell if you ask me," he scoffs with an eyeroll.
a real belly laugh finally breaks through, and you drop your forehead against his. "i really am sorry, though."
"it's okay. i survived even though you were being a little shit."
"that extra comment wasn't needed."
"i don't lie to my baby."
you pinch his side without lifting your head. "ow! fuck, haven't i suffered enough for one day?"
"clearly not."
"violent little thing."
his arms finally pull you closer, loosely enough that you have freedom to pull away if you wanted to. ryomen tilts his head the smallest fraction, nose brushing yours as if to ask permission. you lean in without a doubt.
the kiss starts tender and loving, the way he does when you ask him for it slow. your lips part against his with a soft, wet sound, and the second his tongue slips past your teeth the resolve in both of you uncoils.
you make a needy noise into his mouth and fist your hands in the loose fabric of his sweatpants at his hips. ryomen answers with a low rumble that vibrates through your chest, one rough hand sliding up your back to cradle the nape of your neck while the other grips on your waist, thumb stroking the plushy skin just under the hem of your shirt.
the heat of your kisses builds up fast. his mouth turns more hungry as his tongue links yours deeper, tasting the salt still clinging to your lips. you shift in his lap without thinking, straddling one of his thick thighs so you can feel him more. the movement drags the tops of your feet across the mattress—and straight over one of the shallow cuts left by the broken glass.
a sharp sting flares white-hot and you break the kiss with a startled hiss, body jerking. he stops groping your body instantly. his eyes open, pupils blown and heavy-lidded, but the fog of lust clears the second he sees the wince on your face.
“fuck, i forgot.” his voice is raspy and still thick from the kiss, but his concern cuts through it.
he lifts you off his lap like a feather and sets you carefully on the edge of the bed again, already sliding to his knees in front of you. “don’t try to get the glass out with your hands, wait here.”
he disappears into the bathroom and you hear drawers opening. the rattle of the first-aid kit, water running. when he comes back he’s carrying the kit, a clean towel, and a shallow bowl of warm water.
he kneels again, settling your injured feet gently in his lap. tiny shards still glitter in a couple of the nicks. he curses under his breath and starts picking them out with tweezers, his movements precise as he could be. you flinch, but he steadies your ankles with a firm hand.
“easy, babe… just a couple little pieces. nothin' deep.” his tone is clinical, but the way his thumb keeps stroking the uninjured skin along your ankle is pure, raw affection. once the glass is gone he cleans the cuts with the damp cloth, then dabs on antiseptic that stings and makes you suck in a breath. band-aids follow with two on the right foot, one on the left and pressed carefully over the tops of your feet with surprising tenderness for such large hands.
when he’s finished he presses a soft kiss to the top of each foot, right above the bandages, then looks up at you with a sly little smirk that doesn’t hide the playfulness still lingering in his eyes at all. "there, you're all patched up.”
he rises from the floor, crowding back into your space until you’re forced to tip your head to meet his gaze. one hand cups your jaw, thumb brushing your bottom lip that's still kiss-swollen.
“we’re finishing what we started,” he murmurs, voice dropping into that tone that always makes your stomach flip, “but only after i'm sure you aren't gonna faint or hurt yourself. lemme get you some water and somethin' to eat, and then—” his mouth curves against your ear, “—i’m gonna pick up right where we left off. deal?”
finally a little hurt WITH comfort ehe
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all dividers + header by yours truly, art by @/innaillus on ig found on pinterest
bad dreams aren’t so bad when you have nanami by your side..
you're tossing and turning in your bed when nanami comes back from getting some water. often in the middle of the night he'd refill his water, check if you needed some too and got you some incase u did but now his focus was on you while his feet quickly moved to the side of his bed to put both glasses down.
"no, no wait, no stop." you were whispering incoherent words which nanami was used to — he knew what to make out of them at this point any other person wouldn't be able to tell what you were babbling but he knew all too well.
he slid back in bed, hands careful not to touch you. you often woke up closer to a heart attack then relief when he woke you from a nightmare. so he didn’t wake you up, he simply sat next to you. patient.
"shh, it's okay, i'm here baby." he whispered while you laid there. hair sticking to your forehead from the sweat you had accumulated by how stressed you were from the dream you were trapped in. your chest rising and falling quicker then usual.
nanami had scoured the entire internet in less then ten minutes to see if there was something he could do. a wet rag.
not too cold, not warm either. room temperature so it wouldn't shock you out of your dream but gradually help you wake up. he dabbed the cloth along your forehead. your collar bones.
"it's okay, you're okay baby. you're safe."
soft comforting whispers fell from his lips while he tried his best to comfort you in your state. to be there for you even if he couldn't really be.
when your eyes finally fluttered open, a gasp leaving your lips at the realisation none of it was real he knew you were properly awake. no sleep paralysis. no dazed dream layer over your eyes.
"kennie? what- what are you doing?" you say up straight confused at your husband who was looking at you with the most loving eyes in the world. "you were dreaming badly again dear.." he nearly mumbled in response.
you sighed because you did dream badly again. it was every other night it would really hit you in the stomach. every couple nights where you seemed like a lunatic to your husband. "i'm sorry.."
"i didn't mean to wake you-"
"wake me? as if i could be worried about such a stupid thing. i am worried about you, are you okay? do you want to talk about it?"
you nearly cooed in awe from how soft your husband became everytime this happened. it was like he didn't want to hurt or scare you any further then ur dream maybe already did. you shook your head, "i would much rather lay in your arms while you tell me a storyyy." you smiled.
nanami knew all too well what that meant that's why he laid down — arms in an open invitation for you to take which obviously you did quicker then he could even tell you to.
"a story? about what?" you shrugged. "something about your childhood." you smiled.
And so nanami began telling you old stories of when he used to live on the farm with his parents, stories you could fully imagine him in when you closed your eyes and softly dozed off in the comfort of your husbands arms.
this is short bc it’s lowk for me bc i slept terrible fuck
inspired by anna’s fic this one || masterlist | @/chrisssiren 4 dividers
The bedroom was pitch black, save for the faint glow of the Tokyo streetlamps filtering through the window curtains.
You lay awake in the middle of the mattress, the sheets twisted around your bare legs, the humid night air clinging to your skin. You were entirely alone in the quiet room. Kento was away on some long, annoying multi-day mission in a distant prefecture. He had been gone for a whole fucking week, and the physical distance between you was starting to feel like a heavy, suffocating weight.
You closed your eyes, your mind instantly slipping into the deep, vivid fantasies that had been keeping you awake for nights.
What if he was here right now?
The thought alone made your heart skip a beat, a sudden wave of heat rushing straight down your spine. In the dark, you began to visualize him with terrifying clarity. You could see his broad, powerful shoulders blocking out the light, his sharp jawline tight with restraint, and his light, piercing eyes looking down at you with a heavy, intense hunger.
You pulled a pillow tightly against your chest, burying your face in it. It still smelled faintly of his expensive, masculine cologne—something sharp, woody, and entirely intoxicating. It was a total mindfuck.
Your thoughts went deeper, picturing the exact texture of his large, warm hands. You imagined those veiny, calloused hands sliding slowly up your thighs, gripping your hips with a sudden, bruising intensity that made your breath hitch in the empty room. You could almost feel the phantom weight of his body pressing down onto yours, his rough baritone whispering sinful, breathless things against the sensitive skin of your neck.
A soft, broken whimper escaped your lips, echoing quietly in the dark. Your fingers rolled the hem of your nightshirt up, your hand trembling as it slid down to touch your own skin, desperately chasing the ghost of his touch.
As your fingers moved, your mind flooded with the intense, scandalous images of him completely unraveled. You imagined pulling his silk tie loose, undoing the buttons of his vest one by one, and burying your hands in his soft blonde hair while he took his fucking time worshiping your body. The fantasy was so raw, so vivid, and so utterly electric that your skin felt like it was on fire.
You knew it was just a daydream. You knew you were just lying alone in an empty bed. But the overwhelming pleasure building in your chest felt so real, so wicked, and so incredibly intense that it felt like a crime.
Guilty as sin, you thought, your breath turning short and shallow as you leaned into the fantasy, completely losing yourself in the thought of him until your body finally shivered and collapsed into a quiet, exhausted bliss.
Two days later, the front door of the apartment finally clicked open.
"I am home, sweetheart," Kento murmured, his deep baritone sending an immediate, familiar shiver straight down your spine.
You were sitting at the kitchen island, sipping a cup of tea, when Kento walked in. He looked completely exhausted from the long mission, his hair slightly messy and his tie loosened. But the moment his sharp eyes locked onto yours, his posture shifted.
"Welcome back," you said, your voice a little softer than usual.
As he walked closer to drop his briefcase on the counter, your mind instantly flashed back to the vivid, sinful thoughts you had experienced in this exact house just forty-eight hours ago. A fierce, sudden blush crawled up your neck, and you quickly looked down at your tea, biting your lower lip to hide your racing heart.
Nanami noticed. He was a highly observant man, and the sudden change in your demeanor, the bright red color of your cheeks, and the way you refused to meet his eyes didn't escape his attention.
He stepped into your personal space, his towering frame completely blocking the kitchen light. He reached out, his large, warm hand cupping your chin to gently force your face up. His thumb brushed over your bottom lip, pulling it away from your teeth.
"You are acting strange, darling," Kento murmured, his eyes narrowing slightly as he searched your flushed face, his voice carrying a low, dangerous edge that made your stomach do a million flips. "You look incredibly flushed. Are you keeping a secret from me?"
You swallowed hard, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you looked into his intense, beautiful eyes. The sheer reality of his hand against your skin was making your mind race all over again.
"Nothing," you squeaked, your fingers gripping the edges of the counter tightly. "Just... really glad you're back."
Kento stared at you for a long, heavy second, his gaze dropping to your lips before snapping back to your eyes. A slow, knowing smirk played at the corner of his mouth, his grip on your chin tightening just a fraction as he leaned down, his breath warm against your ear.
"I can hear how fast your heart is beating, my love," Kento whispered, his deep voice rough and completely devastating. "Whatever it is you are thinking about... we have all night to handle it."
୨ synopsis : you and frat!sukuna break up after going through a rough patch. determined on going no contact , you bury yourself in your work and try to go on , business as usual. that is , until sukuna can no longer ignore the growing ache in his heart ꪆ
୨ warnings / tags : college au : long awaited sukuna's pov : banter : yozoru's sukuna's ex : angst : fluff : reader is still his tutor : mentions of cheating : drinking : rina is reader's roommate , and is lightly inspired by chris from tatilb : tatilb themes : they're both whipped : reader is insecure : sukuna's vulnerable : no use of y/n : sukuna is yearner of the year : sukuna being sukuna : gojo and geto are comedic relief : rina is wingwoman of the year ꪆ
𓂃 . ❤︎ INSPIRED BY "BREAKUP" BY TIFFANY DAY
‹ ︎ ✦ WORD COUNT 13k
⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ MASTERLIST ⟡ TAGLIST ⟡ GRAPHIC BY ME
AUTHOR'S NOTE ⟡ thank you for the support my loves , i appreciate you guys so much. this is just an excerpt / continuation from the last drabble , so there will be some easter eggs throughout the fic. keep in mind that the full one-shot is still otw !
You were gathering your things at the end of class when you heard footsteps behind you. You looked up and saw Yozoru, one of the star athletes at your school, glaring back at you. Due to her being in your graduating class, you knew she was one of Sukuna’s past girlfriends. She had her arms crossed and her eyes bored into you. Your heart dropped to your stomach. Despite having several classes together in the past, she’d never acknowledged you before today…and just based on her expression alone, you could tell that what was about to happen was going to be anything but good.
You furrowed your brows, clearly confused, and she rolled her eyes. You weren’t liking her attitude at all. Everything about her demeanor screamed bad news, but it was as if your feet were planted to the ground. You couldn’t move, you could only watch in horror as she finally opened her mouth to speak.
“Whatever is going on with you and Suki, you might as well end it. You’re just another virgin loser throwing herself at him in hopes of getting lucky. It’s embarrassing.” She emphasized the last word like the thought of it alone made her physically ill. You were at a loss of words. You didn’t know where to unpack the word vomit that just left her mouth. Who the hell was “Suki” and why was she just calling you names unwarranted? He came to you for tutoring, not the other way around. And when did tutoring turn into throwing yourself at him? It was obviously by chance. Your head was spinning from the million things flying through your mind.
“We only just now started dating” you replied, voice shaky, “I don’t know why you felt the need to come at me like this. I haven’t done anything to you.”
“I’m doing you a favor by telling you you’re wasting your time.” She scoffed at your puzzled expression and shook her head. “He doesn’t date girls like you.”
What did “girls like you" mean? You weren’t very popular, but you weren’t actively seeking to be. “Please, just leave me alone.” You side stepped and scurried past her before she could assault you with her words again. Even though you knew she was probably being fueled by jealousy and possessiveness, you still felt uneasy. You weren’t sure when or how her and Sukuna had broken up—you weren’t that invested in everyone’s love lives—but you were pretty sure nothing warranted her confronting you. This was crazy and not at all what you had signed up for.
You finally reached your car and hurried in to lock the doors. Paranoia was one way to describe it, but you’d rather call it being smart. She seemed crazy, and like Rina had told you, she got away with everything because she was so good at her sport. She’s gotten out of cheating on exams, failing drug tests, and so on. It was insane how untouchable she was. You weren’t taking any chances. You took a deep breath and started the car. The drive home was silent. No music, no podcasts, nothing.
“I spend my hours thinkin' 'bout us and the way that things are”
You went over all the events that have brought you here. You couldn’t control that Sukuna ended up being one of the people you were tutoring. You could control how you interacted: focusing more on the actual content, not joking around and indulging in his shenanigans and so on, but you didn’t want to hold back. As much as you hated to admit it at the time, you had looked forward to your sessions. He made you laugh and he kept you on your toes. Each and every session was something new. You never knew what to expect with him. You could have controlled going on the date. Could have said no, could have ignored his texts altogether that night. But once again, you liked talking to him. Him asking you out was the best surprise ever, and you couldn't be more grateful for it. But, was it worth it? How you felt for him, was it worth Yozoru’s wrath?
“It's like I'm over-obsessing over someone I barely know. I convinced myself I think maybe I'd be better alone”
No it wasn’t, you decided. You had other things going for you, all these good things working towards your future. Unnecessary distractions would only make you lose sight of what matters most. Distancing yourself from him might be what’s best. Yozoru would get off your back and maybe then you’d be able to finally find peace of mind. As much as you ran this thought through your head—to the point of exhaustion—you didn’t believe yourself. Your head hurt so badly, the stress from this past week has been getting to you. If it weren’t for your applications already being turned in, you’d explode from the stress of all the pending tasks alone. With a heavy heart, you got in bed and slept off the headache.
The next couple of days, you kept your distance. Burying yourself in your studies was what you knew best. Doing so was anything but healthy, but it was all you’ve ever known. It robbed you of making and maintaining the relationships in your life, but it was a fair trade. Pouring yourself into your work only ever ended with you reaping the benefits anyway. It was your fault for thinking you could have your cake and eat it too.
Rina was in and out of the dorm as usual. You were yet to tell her about the run in with Yozoru. She’d definitely be on your side, but you weren’t sure what advice she’d give you. You knew deep down, you couldn’t ignore your boyfriend forever. He’d never admit it but, he could be pretty clingy behind closed doors. It didn’t help that he could always see right through you. Nothing could get past him.
That night, you came home to the sound of the sink running. You walked into the kitchen and saw Rina washing dishes.
“Rina?”
She turned around and beamed at you. “Oh my gosh hi, how are you?” She dried her hands with a rag and pulled you into a hug. She smelled nice, like a sweet cinnamon, which was fitting for her personality. You pulled away and smiled back at her. “I’m good, how are you?”
“I’m good, I just miss you. I cleaned up the dorm as my sorry for disappearing, I’ve been picking up a lot of shifts at work and school has been…well, you know.” She sighed.
“I understand. I’m glad to see you too. Thank you! You didn’t have to, that's so sweet.” You squeezed her arm lightly. Your eyes scanned the dorm. It was sparkling clean. You weren’t a total pig, but the place had definitely been overdue for some tidying up with you being distracted and all.
“Let me finish up here and we can catch up?”
You nodded and she turned back to the sink. You walked into the bedroom and collapsed on the bed. Your belongings were long forgotten on the floor. These past few days, you’d done every homework assignment available, including the ones due in a few weeks. You watched videos online to be able to understand the ones that went over content you haven’t covered yet in class. That’s how you kept busy: constantly searching for something to do.
You heard the sink turn off and Rina knocked lightly on the door before stepping inside.
“Okay, I’m all done. What’s new with you?”
You started off light, telling her about classes and other school related things. You were afraid of telling her about Yozoru. Saying what happened out loud made it more real, including the harsh things she had said to you.
“How’s your week been though? Tell me about it.” She handed you your favorite snack and took a sip of her water. Rina had always been genuine. Despite her spontaneous disappearances, she always made sure to catch up with you and check in to see if you were okay.
“Honestly, not the best. Yozoru kind of ruined it.”
Rina sat up. “Yozoru?!?”
“Yeah, she confronted me the other day in class.”
Rina choked on her water. “She did what?”
You took a deep breath and explained the incident to her. Her eyes were as big as saucers, and her mouth curved in a deep frown.
“Oh no, I’m so sorry,” she said sympathetically. “She’s insane. Why is she pressing you? She’s acting as if Sukuna gives her the time of the day. He ignores her now and she hates it. Instead of thinking maybe, ‘Oh, I must be the problem,’ she bothers any girls he interacts with to cope with the fact that he doesn’t fuck with her anymore. It’s sick.”
You blinked in confusion “Wait, so she has no place to be bothering me over him?”
“None at all. They broke up ages ago because she was trying to homie hop back to Gojo. I guess Sukuna got tired of her being unfaithful. Are you okay though?”
Her question barely registered in your head. You were too focused on what she just dropped on you: Sukuna was cheated on? He never mentioned that to you. Was it on purpose? Withholding that information seemed pretty deliberate. Then again, maybe it was just a sensitive subject…
“I was a little shaken up at first, but I’m fine now,” you lied, “I can’t believe she cheated on him and expects him to still want her in his life.”
“The audacity of that woman. Honestly, Ryomen Sukuna is many things, but he is loyal. Yozoru’s infidelity was one-sided. Sukuna will break up with a girl out of the blue if it meant making sure she knew how he felt, when he felt it. He’s never been unfaithful, just blunt. And girls hate that,” Rina chuckled, “I don’t blame them, but I’d rather that than finding out my boyfriend is sleeping with someone else. Sukuna might be the last loyal frat guy left.”
“Or ever,” you joked.
You both laughed. The cheating scandals out of that fraternity house were insane. And when they mixed with the sorority girls? Hell on earth.
“Wait. Did I tell you about…” She complained to you about one of the classes she was taking that you took last semester. You nodded and gave your input here and there, but your mind was still stuck on all that happened. You’d made a point not to say what Yozoru had said verbatim, it was too humiliating. Sure, Rina probably knew, but you still felt embarrassed. There was some truth to what Yozoru was saying, and you didn't want to hear what Rina thought about it, afraid of your worst fear being confirmed.
“I think about it time to time, think about what it'll be. To be with somebody similar, somebody just like me. It doesn't make a lot of sense 'cause boy, you give me the world”
It was obvious to pretty much everyone how different you and Sukuna were, that was no secret. But did these differences, specifically your own, make having something together—or him—completely unattainable? All of this would be so much easier if you were dating someone more in your league. Someone as quiet and shy as you, who you could experience your firsts with together: first date, first kiss, first time having sex, and so on. Complications would be minimal compared to what you had going on with Sukuna. Though, what you had with Sukuna was good. Outside of all this craziness, he made you feel seen and loved. There were obstacles of course, but he constantly made an effort for you. Were you really that ungrateful to wish for someone else? You felt guilty for even entertaining that thought. You couldn’t decide what to feel. On one hand you were immensely grateful, but on the other hand, your mind wandered to places it shouldn’t. You just hoped that you were making the right decision.
You felt awful. You’d taken the distancing thing a little too far, and now he was demanding to see you. The notifications from him spamming your phone flooded your lockscreen.
sukuna: feels like i haven’t see you in forever
sukuna: yes i know our session is tmr, i don’t care
sukuna: wanna meet up ?
sukuna: if you say no, i’m leaving you a bad review on yelp
Yelp? You weren’t even on Yelp. You giggled and unlocked your phone.
you: i’m not on yelp, but thanks for the suggestion
sukuna: so she’s alive
Okay, now he was just being dramatic. You have been replying to his texts. Yes, you were dry and the responses were a little delayed, but you were replying.
you: someone’s a bit dramatic
sukuna: k.
you: wow, we’ve devolved from “ok” to “k.” monumental.
sukuna: Ok.
sukuna: is that better ?
sukuna: are you coming or not
You hesitated. You felt like a huge jerk, but if that’s what it took for you to not have a repeat of last night where you felt the insecurities eating you alive, even before the two of you could really start something, then so be it.
you: Can’t, sorry. I have to work on internship applications
sukuna: alright, then. good luck
You’d worked on and submitted them the day before yesterday, but he didn’t need to know that. You yawned and stretched before you laid your head on your desk. A wave of drowsiness hit you. You desperately needed to get your mind off of things. Drowning in schoolwork definitely wasn’t the way to do it. It was starting to drain you more. You glanced at your bed and contemplated going to sleep early tonight. It would help you relax and you’ve been sleeping so late since you were up working…
You got up from your desk and crawled into bed. The second your head hit the pillow, you knocked out.
The beeping sound right next to your ear was not a part of your imagination. You groaned softly and lifted your head up. You fumbled your hand around your nightstand until you grabbed your phone. The bright light blinded you and you winced. The time read 9:07. You rubbed your eyes and blinked at your phone. 9:07…?
Crap. You leapt from your bed and dashed to shower. Of course you slept through your alarm. You didn’t even get to finish reading for your lab procedure for your second class today. You’d fallen asleep in the middle of it yesterday. You dashed out of your dorm in record time and got to class with a minute to spare. The professor started the lecture promptly at 9:30 and you took a second to catch your breath. It felt like your heart was going to jump out of your chest. The adrenaline was still rushing through your blood. The professor droned on about last night’s reading, which you luckily completed before your nap turned into deep slumber, though there was definitely something you forgot to do you just couldn’t put your finger on it…
It wasn’t until you saw Yozoru, who had been shooting daggers your way, as you left the room once lecture was over that you realized. Once again, you had forgotten to prepare a study plan for you and Sukuna’s session. It was remarkable really. You pushed him out of your head so far back you forgot about the one and only that you couldn’t avoid. You groaned and checked your schedule. If you studied during lunch, you’d have time to get some of it done. You dragged your feet to your next class, which was lab, and prayed it would all work out.
It did end up working out, thank god, but barely. By the time of the session, your brain was fried and you just wanted to go home. On top of that, you had to make a point of not engaging with his usual shenanigans, despite you really wanting to. You took off your headphones and reminded yourself it was for your own good and sanity. You just hoped your efforts would be worth it.
The second Sukuna walked up to you, you knew something was off. His eyes narrowed at you suspiciously before he took a seat.
“How are you?”
You looked up from your notebook and blinked at him. “Um, good. What about you?”
“I’m okay. Could be better,” he replied flatly.
You frowned at your paper. You weren’t going to bite. Engaging would distract you from what really mattered: helping him with his statistics coursework. Aimless conversation was out of the picture for the two of you now. “Ready to start?” You asked him cheerfully.
He leaned back in his chair and nodded. “Yeah sure,” he said in a monotone. Great. So he really was upset with you for not hanging out with him yesterday. If you told him upfront that you wanted space, you weren’t really sure how he’d take it. Knowing him, it would probably hurt his ego.
The two of you got to work. You were glad that you squeezed in some time to create the plan. The statistics class he was in was progressing to more difficult material. He struggled a bit, but halfway through he was starting to get the hang out of it.
“This isn’t as hard as I thought.” He scanned the page of practice problems that the two of you just completed together.
“Mhm,” you murmured in agreement.
“Maybe. You’re still speaking in riddles and this class is still a waste of my time.” You blinked at him in confusion. All you said was “mhm.” No, you were not falling for it, you refused.
“Okay! Next page,” you said cheerfully. Trying to ignore it wasn’t the best approach, but it was all you could muster. It killed you not to say something witty back, something that would take him a second to understand. You didn’t even get a chance to mourn your past sessions and appreciate them, you immediately got hit with whatever the hell this was.
“Nah, I wanna take a break.” Without waiting for a response from you, he got up from his seat abruptly and walked off.
You gaped at his empty chair for a few seconds before scrambling to follow after him. He made it halfway across the library by the time you caught up with him.
“I meant a solo break,” He said pointedly. You scoffed. He needed to cool it. He was starting to get on your nerves again.
“We’ve never taken breaks before so I just wanted to clarify,” you chirped. This was starting to put a strain on your resolve. There was no book, no class that could teach you how to handle a wounded ego. Even if there was, you were sure he was too big to tend.
He narrowed his eyes at you for the nth time today before sighing. “We’ve never done any of this before. What’s going on with you?” He put his hands up in surrender. “And I don't mean passing on seeing me yesterday. That’s valid, you have your own things. I mean the fact you didn’t have your lesson plan ready for today, the eyebags under your eyes, and the way you’re treating me like some fucking stranger.”
You were stunned. He just read you to filth in the middle of the library. You were unarmed, completely unprepared to be hit with that. Your brain could barely process what was said before he started again.
“I’ve tried my best to reach out and get to know you. I thought you wanted the same. It seemed like you did, but the way you’re treating me now is like I’m this huge asshole. If I did anything to offend you, please tell me. I’ll fix it, whatever it is, just please…it feels like I’m basically begging you to make fun of me. I kinda am since I miss joking around with you and you using your smart puns and your statistics nonsense on me, but I don’t even care at this point. The vibe is off. Can we go back to the way we were? The day at Pam’s, the party, the everything has been the highlight of my year. Don’t tell me that that was our peak.”
“Sukuna … slow down.” Your head was spinning. You took the chair nearest to you and sat down. His brows furrowed in concern and he sat next to you.
“Shit, sorry. That was a lot to dump on you at once.”
“It was,” you agreed. “How did you know I didn’t do my notes ahead of time?”
“Your handwriting gets super shitty when you don’t. Like our second session, when I saw you with your headphones on right before we were supposed to meet, your handwriting was straight ass compared to the first, third, and so on,” he said matter of factly. You glared at him and he grinned.
“Gee thanks,” you said sarcastically. You made a mental note to write a bit slower when you were in a rush to avoid sloppy notes.
“Anytime,” he said with a wink and you groaned.
“Are my eyebags really that bad?” You braced yourself for his answer.
He shot you a sympathetic look. “Do you want me to lie to make you feel better?”
“Wowww, okay. I’ll just die then I guess,” you deadpanned.
“If you die, who’s going to teach me the wonders of pastel pens?”
You glared at him once more and he laughed. “Seriously though. Get some sleep. You look like a fucking zombie,” he paused, “Respectfully.”
You gasped. “Oh. Oh okay. Noted. Also, saying respectfully at the end doesn’t automatically make it respectful,” you protested.
He stared at you. “Um, yes it does?
“No it doesn't."
“It cancels out,” he insisted, “PEMDAS.”
“PEM—,” you couldn't hold your laughter in, “PEMDAS?!”
“Why are you laughing?” He grumbled.
Your stomach burned as you laughed over how ridiculous he was. You were sure to have abs by the time you caught your breath, your abdomen was on fire.
“Holy shit,” you wheezed. “PEMDAS? Oh Ry, I think the alcohol is starting to seep into your brain and destroy your brain cells."
He scoffed, “Just say you don’t get it, it's okay.”
“You’re right, I don't. Because it’s wrong.”
“Wanna bet on it?”
Not this again. “Err…no?”
“Why not? You get so cute when you win them.”
There it was again. He was doing this on purpose, flustering you so you could get off track. It was the way he could counter your jokes by immediately stunning you into silence. Even though you were together, it still worked every single time. Your eyes glued to the floor to avoid meeting his eyes.
“Uh, I think break time is over,” you muttered, barely audible for him to hear.
He leaned in to hear you better. “Sorry, what was that?” Your heart stopped at how close he was. Memories flooded of the very first time he did this. You couldn’t even tell if he really couldn't hear you, or if he was trying to fluster you again. Honestly, it was probably a mix of both.
You got up from your seat and pushed it back in place. “Break time is over. We have another—” You glanced at the clock on the wall. “Five-ish minutes until our scheduled time is up. Let’s make the most of it!”
Sukuna groaned, but followed you back to your table. He completed two more problems before the session was up. Once it was time, you quickly packed your things up. You zipped up your bag hurried to get out when you heard a soft thud behind you. You turned around and saw Sukuna picking something up. You froze as you realized it was your planner that had your to do list.
“Oops, that’s my fault. Thank you,” you tried to take it from him but he inspected it.
“‘Work on internship applications.’ Huh, it’s dated three days ago. But I thought you told me you were working on them yesterday? That’s weird,” he wondered out loud. He placed the paper in your hand and grabbed his bag. He brushed past you without a word. No goodbye. No “see you next week” with his stupid smirk. Just silence. He had caught you in your very stupid lie, and now he was even more upset at you. You then realized you addressed all of his points except one: why you were treating him like a “stranger.” To be honest, you didn’t have a clear answer yourself. Yozoru definitely was why, but not for the reasons you wanted to admit. You dragged your feet back to your car and drove home.
To no one's surprise, Rina wasn't home. You laid on your bed and tried to unpack the nightmare session you just had. Were you being too prideful? Just coming clean about it would make it all easier. Sukuna could talk to Yozoru and tell her to leave you alone, then the two of you could move on like before. That sounded right, but it didn't feel right. Deep down, the seed that Yozoru planted was beginning to blossom. An ugly, dull flower of self-doubt. This flower couldn't be uprooted from telling her to back off. It was far too late. Her words had done enough damage, confirming the fears that had only lived in the deepest depths of your mind.
“I, I feel selfish
Don't deserve you
Do I even know what love is?
You wanted Sukuna badly. So badly, you considered acknowledging his third point. He didn't deserve to be in the dark, he didn't do anything other than be sweet to you. Now he had reason to believe he'd done something awful for you to pull away. That couldn't be further from the truth, but still...you couldn't bring yourself to tell him what was actually going on.
You wished Rina was here to give you some advice. She'd know exactly how to handle it and explain it to where you'd understand. Even without advice, she's always been a good listener and a shoulder to cry on. Lord knows what you've gotten yourself into now.
SUKUNA'S POV
If Sukuna took a shot every time you’ve sent him a mixed signal in the past twenty four hours, he’d be blackout drunk. Actually, he’d die from alcohol poisoning. He prided himself in being a good communicator—too good at times, girls hated how blunt he was when he wanted to call it quits—but it felt like all his efforts were falling short. You were pushing him away, completely out of the blue at that, and he couldn’t figure out why. “Why?” was the number one thing on his mind. He ran through every scenario in his head, everything he said to you and how you reacted. Did he go too far? Before today’s session, you hadn’t seen each other in a bit, and you weren’t upset with him a few days ago. What could possibly have changed in such a short amount of time?
Geto and Gojo dragged him to a party to “clear his head.”
“We all go through girl troubles, but it’s not the end of the world.” Gojo patted him on the back and handed him a shot. “Not much you can do now.”
“Even you know you’re smarter than that Gojo,” he replied and downed the glass. “I could go over to her place and talk to her so I can finally get to the bottom of this.”
“What happens if you don’t find out what’s going on? What if she pushes you away even further?” Geto pointed out. Sukuna glared at him and huffed. “Then at least I can say I tried and not have run away like a coward,” he gestured at Gojo who was stuffing his face with chips. He looked up and pouted at him. Geto shook his head in disbelief and turned to Sukuna.
“I’m confused. I don’t think there’s ever been a time where you are the one fighting for the relationship. It’s always been the other way around. Is she really that special? Be completely honest with yourself.”
“Obviously,” Sukuna replied, “Why else would I be worrying about all of this whilst being here?” He nodded to the lively party: people were dancing, some were playing beer pong in the living room, and others were scattered around in groups, chatting away. "She's worth it.” Sukuna meant it. When he walked into the library all those weeks ago, he had low expectations. The class wasn’t even that hard, he just couldn’t be bothered to care about it. The promise he made wasn’t a part of the plan at all. He was to only bring his grade up for the time being. He didn’t expect to promise to actually try and make good on it, but he was so glad he did.
Now he sat on the couch, watching other people have fun while he wallowed away. It was ironic really. Usually, the roles were reversed. Sukuna hardly let anyone in enough to care so much about them. If it didn’t work out, fine. He’d find someone else, like he always did. Though, he doubted he could find anyone like you.
“Bro come on.”
Sukuna glanced up and saw Geto approaching him. He looked slightly annoyed and he had his drink in hand. “Guess who’s here?”
Sukuna rolled his eyes. “If it’s not her, I don’t care,” he said bluntly. He was bored of Geto and Gojo’s antics. Shoving him towards another girl wasn’t going to fix the problem at hand.
“It’s a different her…” He trailed off to see if Sukuna would bite. He didn’t. He was extremely unimpressed by Thing 1 and Thing 2's attempts to distract him. He had a bored expression as he watched the football game on the TV screen in front of him.
“Yozoru?” Sukuna didn’t even blink. His eyes were glued on the screen in front of him. “Dude, she’s walking over here right now,” Gojo urged him, waving his hands in Sukuna’s face.
Sukuna barely even acknowledged Gojo. “Move your chubby hands,” he snarled. He really wanted to see which team would score the touchdown. He couldn’t if the idiot got in his way.
Gojo lowered his arms and slowly inched away from Sukuna. Him and Geto scurried off and Sukuna got a whiff of a rather strong floral perfume. He sighed deeply before glaring at the woman beside him.
“What do you want now?”
Her face broke into a grin. Sukuna exhaled, already agitated. He gave her what he wanted—attention—but he still felt as though he was about to suffer for it.
“Just saying hi, I can’t just say hello and be friendly?”
Sukuna rolled his eyes and turned back to the screen. “No.”
Yozoru frowned. She had him, then she lost him, like usual. Still, she needed to rub it in his face. “I met your new girlfriend the other day. She’s cute.”
Sukuna closed his eyes and took another deep breath. Yozoru and her damn games. Her timing couldn't be worse. Did she know the two of you were having issues? Or was she just rubbing it all in his face for the sake of it? Sukuna couldn’t tell, both were plausible reasons. Either way, finding out would give her the validation she was so desperately seeking, and he didn’t want to be the one to give it to her.
“You guys are so different though. I didn’t expect you to go after a girl so… sooo…”
As she struggled to find an adjective, Sukuna was on the edge of his seat. The team he was cheering for was this close to scoring and he was very invested. He silently cursed himself for not betting on a team earlier. It could have been an easy pay day.
Yozoru’s eyes lit up. “Timid, that’s the word. She’s like a little mouse, which is so different from anyone else you’ve been with,” she said, voice dripping with venom. She was back with the condescending tone she always used on him, and now, she was armed with Sukuna’s latest weakness: you.
Sukuna clenched his jaw. He didn’t like that she was insulting you, especially right in front of him, but what she wanted was a reaction. He vowed not to retort, even though she deserved it. His eyes followed the screen as one of the players in red dashed down the last couple yards to the opponent’s side. Come on, come on, Sukuna silently urged, Bring it home.
“And you’re emotionally invested for once. The roles are reversed. This time, you’re the one all in your feelings when she could care less.”
“Anddd…TOUCHDOWN!” The announcer yelled on the TV. The crowd painted in red went wild. The players jumped around and did a celebratory dance, but they no longer had Sukuna’s attention. It had now shifted to her.
“That must fucking suck, huh? The one time you put your heart on the line and actually give a fuck about the person you’re dating, you mean nothing to them.” Her words cut deep, severing whatever tenacity he had left into shreds. Now, fear settled as her words sunk in. Was that what it was? Did you just not care about him anymore? On a random day, you decided he wasn’t worth your time? He thought there was something there, something that was worth risking it all for. Did he have it wrong all this time?
The smirk returned to Yozoru’s face. It was working. Self doubt was closing in on Sukuna, he could no longer out run it. He couldn’t ignore the fact that everything he’s ever wanted was slipping from his fingers, and right before his eyes. The instant replay review played in the background as Sukuna unclenched his jaw and muttering, “Just fuck off Yozoru.”
She scoffed, “What? You’re mad because she’s just using you to get into parties? You really think your selfish ass is actually lovable?” She snickered and shook her head. “No, you’re clearly being used to raise her social status.”
What the actual fuck was her problem? Sukuna’s chest tightened and he glared at her. “Must take one to know one, huh?” His eyes bore into hers and she frowned. “Leave me and the people I care about alone, you parasite,” he spat out.
She blinked at him, slightly taken aback, “Whatever that means. Just know you have to confront the truth sooner or later.” She shot him one last look and walked off. Sukuna finally let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. He knew better than anyone that she was just trying to get under his skin. She’s done it millions of times before, even trying to get in between him and Gojo in the past. As much as he tried to get her words out of his head, her strong perfume was still lingering in the air, so he got up from the couch and made his way into the kitchen.
Gojo and Geto looked up from their game of beer pong and looked at him expectantly. “Well? How did it go?” Gojo demanded.
“You look like you just shit your pants,” Geto noted.
Did he? Sukuna huffed and shook his head. “Shut up. She’s just trying to get at me. It’s nothing.” He shrugged his shoulders casually, but his heart wasn’t in it at all.
“She’s lame anyway. Wanna join us?” Geto raised an eyebrow at him.
Normally, he’d be so down to drink and goof off with them, but after Yozoru’s little stunt, his stomach was in knots. “Nah, I’m good. I think I’ma head out.”
Gojo and Geto exchanged a look before nodding. “Alright man, get home safe.” They patted each other on the back and Sukuna made his way out, away from the prying eyes of everyone at the party.
"Wake up! Gosh, you're a heavy sleeper."
You jolted awake and saw Rina staring back at you. She still had on going out clothes and her makeup was somehow still flawless. You didn’t even bother attempting to contain your jealousy.
"Hello stranger. I'm back bearing news." She turned on the big light and you groaned softly. "Turn it off please."
"Oh oops." She turned it back off and turned on the lamp on your nightstand. You yawned and rubbed your eyes. This better be good.
"Do you want the good news or bad news first?"
What was up with that question lately? Edging you with the illusion of choice wasn't going to make the news anymore digestible.
"Why don't you pick?" You yawned again and stretched. You wanted to go back to sleep. Couldn't the gossip wait?
"So Yozoru approached Sukuna at the party I was at. Obviously he wasn't having it. He ignored her until she had the audacity to bring up you. She basically bad-mouthed you and claimed you just wanted to social climb or some bullshit like that. And holy shit was Sukuna pissed." Her eyes were practically shining as she told the story.
You blinked at your roommate. You were baffled. Here you thought you'd hear about your favorite couple breaking up or something, but no. For some reason, you were being brought up at social events. And for what? You kept to yourself and didn't bother anyone.
"He said that it took one to know one and told her to leave him and the people he cared about alone, then he stormed off."
"Oh." was all you could say. He still cared about you despite you pushing him away lately. That was nice to hear, but guilt was starting to build up. You didn't deserve that loyalty, especially not from him with the way you’ve been treating him away lately.
"I know right. I can't really tell if that's the good news or the bad news actually,” she furrowed her brows as if she was deep in thought. “Anyway, he's here."
You went still. Now you were awake. "Here? As in....?"
"Yep. Told him you were asleep, he said he'd wait outside until you woke up. I stated the obvious and said that probably won't be until morning, and he asked if it was okay if he sat on our front porch..."
"Rina," you said carefully, "How long ago was this?"
"The argument at the party or him coming over to the dorm?"
"Both?!"
"Oh, hmmm. Maybe an hour or two ago?"
You scrambled out of bed and headed to the nearest mirror. You yanked off your bonnet and tried to make yourself look somewhat presentable. There was no drool or eye crust—thank god—but your damn eye bags...You scanned the counter for your concealer before you heard Rina behind you.
"You're seriously wasting time putting on makeup? If he can’t accept you at your worst, he doesn't deserve you at your best. You look fine. Now go. I know you, you're stalling,” she said sternly.
You frowned. Okay, so what if you were stalling? He did mention the eye bags earlier and he was right, they have gotten worse, you hadn’t been sleeping well as of late. Dedicating your blood, sweat, and tears to working came with costs.
"Did he say what he wanted to talk about? I'm scared." Even though he had told his ex to back off, you still felt uneasy about everything. You didn't feel worthy of his touch, his praise, his anything. The more you spiraled, the more you pulled away from him.
“I have zero clue. All I know is he asked for privacy, so I offered to drop by Jason’s while you talked. I’ll slip out the back door,”
You gaped at her. “You’re leaving me?!”
“Yes, it’s for your own good. This way, you can finally resolve whatever’s going on between you and be happy. The weird ass bitch has been dealt with now. And I don’t know, he seemed pretty angry when he came by, but sad too,” she squeezed your shoulder, “I think he misses you.”
Your heart ached at her words. You missed him too, how could you not? But that didn’t mean you were ready to confront the feelings that had been looming over you.
You slowly made your way from your bathroom into the living room. You turned on the light and held your breath. A few seconds later, you heard a light knock at your door. You took a deep breath before unlocking it. Your boyfriend stood there in a disheveled state. His hair was slightly mused and his eyebrows were furrowed in concern, eyes wide as he took you in.
"We need to talk," he said instantly, brushing past you as he walked in uninvited. You blinked at him and closed the door. He made his way into your room and sat on your bed like he's done hundreds of times, but this time was different. You could feel it.
You sat down beside him and stared at your feet. Moonlight poured in from your window, shining down on the two of you like a spotlight. Taking center stage was you, anxious out of your mind for what was to come, and Sukuna, who was silent despite coming all this way just to talk.
By the time he cleared his throat, you had convinced yourself it was over. Everything felt wrong: the awkward silence between you too and how far away he was from you. Sukuna always wanted to touch you somehow, by hugging you, holding your hand, and so on. Despite your nervousness surrounding it all, you didn't dare look up. You weren't sure if you could stomach the look that was probably crossing his face. A stricken expression, you were sure, that said everything that was on his mind without him even uttering a word.
"Whatever is going on, please just say it," he sighed and shifted on the bed. "I can't keep continuing like this." The soft creaking snapped you out of it and you snuck a glance at him. He was staring right back at you and your heart broke right there and then. Sukuna, your ever so arrogant boyfriend, looked so meek sitting there on your bed. He loved being in control, and he was anything but right now. The uncertainty that surrounded your relationship had seemingly crushed his ego and confidence. "I’ve been up all night, trying to pinpoint where it all went wrong, but I can't. Help me understand," he swallowed hard, "Like you always do."
Your stomach lurched at his words. You felt sick. Help me understand, like you always do. Did he really have to make this harder than it needed to be? Reminding you of tutoring sessions that brought you together, and ultimately, here. Your eyes flew to the door like you were planning to get up and run if need be. Of course you were being ridiculous, but it felt like your dinner was what was to leave your mouth instead of an answer. You pressed your lips in a firm line and sighed.
"I've just been thinking a lot about things...How you and I differ and it's affected the way I view us." That was the best way you could put it. You didn't know how to put your newfound insecurity into words. It crept up on you before you saw it for what it really was.
From the corner of your eye, you saw him shake his head and scoff. "Yeah, we're pretty different, that was obvious when we first met. But we've always made it work, haven't we? What in the world could have possibly changed since then?" he asked, his tone strained. He was once again, using every ounce of patience left in his body, on you. Why? He never gave anyone the same grace. If you were anyone else, he'd sure have dismissed them out by now. Written them off without a second thought. The special treatment made you feel sick. You weren't some charity case…you hated the fact that it was what made you stand out from everyone else in his life. You finally pinpointed it: over time, it felt like the entire relationship was built on pity for you.
“Maybe we should break up, I don't wanna feel this way, It's not enough to stay with you in the dark”
"Maybe we've been wasting our time here," you heard yourself say, "Maybe it's all just a lost cause." You don't remember rehearsing that line over and over in your head like you typically did. It seems like you were on autopilot with the goal of ending the conversation as soon as possible. Even if you were too scared to be anything other than subtle.
The silence after your insinuation was gruesome. You fought the urge to sneak another look at him because you knew you would fold. Dealing with those thoughts every day was absolute torture. You felt stupid in your own skin. It wasn't enough to stay with him and suffer silently, nor was it worth sacrificing your sanity over.
"Alright, if that's how you feel then,” he finally said. You heard shuffling as he got up to go to the door. He paused, and you felt his eyes on you. Of course he just had to shoot you one last glance before leaving entirely.
“Maybe I'm the one to blame”
When you heard the front door slam shut, the ache in your chest was almost instant. The reality of what you'd just done crashed down on you. Were you really walking away over that? Like he said, the two of you always made it work. Well, not as of late but—
And him. He didn't even fight for you. If the roles were reversed, you'd have insisted on actually discussing things and having a productive conversation about each other's feelings. Four, maybe five sentences were exchanged between you two, all of it anything but productive. What did you just do?
Those five words rang in your head as you fumbled for your phone. He couldn't have gotten too far. Maybe if you just called him, he'd hear you out. You found your phone around where he was sitting and froze. You didn't see him go on it...but then again, you barely looked at him for longer than two seconds.
You opened it and immediately found his contact, or, his number. The contact was deleted and his number was blocked. The asshole did the rest of the hard work for you. You were speechless. Had he secretly wanted things to end too? Did he see the opportunity and ran with it, letting you do all the hard work? Whatever it was, you were stunned. You didn't unblock his number. You didn't call him and beg for him to turn around. Instead, you spent that night drowning in your own tears, reminiscing all the good times before it all went wrong.
At first, you didn’t cry. You were too numb to. That shocked you to your core. Wasn’t that the normal reaction to such a loss? After that night, you were back on autopilot: getting your school work done, tutoring other peers, going to interviews and so on. Life moves on, you reminded yourself, even when it feels like it shouldn’t.
If you said you didn’t miss him, you’d be lying. Texting and calling him was a part of your everyday routine. The day felt empty without it. You tried finding other things to distract yourself: mediating, starting a new show, listening to music. Each time, your mind somehow drifted to him and that night. You were trying to ignore it, but you couldn’t. Somehow, you found him in aspects of your everyday life: The toothpaste you used in the morning, how he teased you one day and said that he was shocked your toothpaste wasn’t also a vibrant pink. Anytime you saw someone do something stupid on the road, you were instantly reminded of Sukuna and his horrific road rage. Visiting that one corner at Pam’s shop made your heart break. The bowls and mugs you made on your second date? Stored in the very back of the kitchen cabinet. The playlist you played that first date was now deleted. Your pink bonnet? You swapped it out for a black one. It was the little things that made him cross your mind, and you hated it. No matter how hard you tried, he was inescapable.
When the day of your following session came, you weren’t sure if it was worth showing up. You doubted he would. But unlike him, you were obligated to. So you sucked up your pride and made your way to the library. You sat down at your usual spot and waited. Then waited some more. Your eyes flickered back and forth from the clock on the wall to the time on your phone as if you were convinced your mind was playing tricks on you. He actually flaked, as if it was your grade on the line, not his. It was laughable, and so him. When things proved to no longer serve him, he deemed them a waste of his time and discarded them. Turns out you were one of those things.
With fifteen minutes left of your now solo session, you packed your things up. You stopped by the front desk to check in with your manager, one of the upperclassmen.
“Hey Lia, do you know if a ‘Ryomen Sukuna’ no longer needs tutoring services?”
She tilted her head at you before her hand flew to her mouth. “I’m so sorry, I forgot to let you know he called at the last minute to pull out.”
You plastered a smile on your face. You were right. Again. And you really wished you weren't.
“I was checking to make sure, thanks!” You waved goodbye and headed out. Even though you were just doing your job, you still felt like an idiot. Why did you show up? What did you expect? He took your phone and blocked himself for you. If that didn’t scream “I want nothing to do with you,” you weren’t sure what did. Still, a fraction of your heart held hope he would have shown.
You had told Rina what happened that night the following morning. She hovered, constantly asking you if you were okay, bought you your favorite snacks and kleenex just in case. You didn’t cry, you haven’t and you had no plans to. She insisted that it was normal and okay to, but put the box back on her dresser anyway. The tears never came, even as finals and winter holiday approached. Rina was now hesitant of bringing up her boyfriend around you, but you encouraged her to.
“I’m happy for you, the stuff going on with me won’t ever stop that,” you reassured her. She was hesitant at first, but over time, she got comfortable with it again. Turns out her boyfriend was going back home with her to meet her parents. You hyped her up and assured her that it was going to go well. You ignored the icky feeling creeping up on you, sadness and a hint of jealousy that that wasn't you and Sukuna like the two of you had originally planned.
Now that you weren’t dating one of the most popular guys at your school, your social life was lack-luster. No parties—though Rina urged you to at least consider going to one—no dates, no football games, no nothing. It was quiet, too quiet. It’s pretty much exactly how it was like before you met Sukuna, but you were no longer the same. He changed you: he encouraged you to speak your mind and be yourself, pushed you to give things a chance and step out of your comfort zone. Emboldened you to believe you could share your time and energy with someone else. You hated change, especially when it had to do with the fundamental parts of what made you who you were. But, the change was only for the better. You were so happy then and you didn’t fully appreciate it then. You wished you had, because here you were.
Visiting home filled you with dread. You had told your parents about him when you first started dating. You remember it like yesterday. They were so excited for you:
“Mom, Dad, guess what?” You had grinned and wiggled your eyebrows at your phone. You loved being corny and cheesy with your parents. They had the romcom meet cute and have been married for over twenty five years. They were the literal definition of couple goals. So you getting your first boyfriend was a huge deal.
“What?” They asked in unison. You giggled at their expressions. They were so invested in what you had to say.
“I may or may not have a boyfriend…” You trailed off and snuck a look at your phone.
Your mom squealed and clapped her hands together. Your dad raised an eyebrow, but you didn’t miss the way his mouth curved into a smile.
“Is it the one you’ve been tutoring?”
“Yes actually,” you asked, surprised. Were you that predictable? And had you talked about him that much? Surely you hadn’t.
“I knew it, we haven't heard the end of him since the two of you met,” your dad chuckled. Oh. You stand corrected.
“It couldn’t have been that bad,” you said defensively. You swore you talked about other things too.
“It was,” they said in perfect unison again, and the three of you giggled.
Now, they were concerned with the way you were processing your first major breakup. With your mom being a psychologist, she was pestering you the most. The amount of Facebook videos she forwarded you about processing your emotions was bothersome. It would only get worse when it was actually time to visit.
Finals week was your Super Bowl. Instead of taking it on begrudgingly like you used to, during your first year of college, you gaslit yourself into loving it. You romanticized studying and hyped yourself up for the feeling of being free once you were finally over. Rina, on the other hand, was much different.
“I’m going to rip my hair out.” She said to you the second she shut the front door behind her.
You glanced up from your computer and gave her a sympathetic look. “Hello to you too, and no you got this.”
“No, I really don’t.” She dropped her textbook on the coffee table and a cloud of dust hit your face. You sneezed and waved the air in front of you frantically.
“Oops sorry. As you can tell from the dust, I haven’t touched my textbook in ages. It might be over,” she dragged her hands down her face.
“How have you been surviving this whole time?” You asked her carefully.
“She posts like small parts of the reading on Canvas for a need to know basis. She just told us today that for the final, we need to have a ‘broader understanding of the content to succeed.’ Does she want us to fail?”
“I’m sorry,” you squeezed her arm gently, “You still have time, there’s about a week left. I can try to help. What class is this again?”
“Organic chemistry…”
Yikes. You took orgo chem your first year and it fucked you over so bad. You still made it out with an A, but barely. Rina took one look at the hesitant expression in your face and shook her head, “See, even you know I’m fucked. It’s fine, thank you for the offer though. I know you have your own finals, plus you have to prepare your mentees for theirs.”
That was a fair point. Of course, you were well prepared to help them succeed and you were confident in your own abilities. As long as everything stayed as is, you were fine. With Sukuna dropping out of the tutoring program, your workload was significantly lighter. Your mind wandered to how he was preparing, if he was at all. He’d pinky promised to try, but you weren’t sure if the promise was still valid given the current circumstances.
“Wish me luck,” she sighed dramatically before taking her textbook and making her way to the room. She was smart, you believed in her, though her professor deserved jail time for leading everyone on like that.
You checked your email for the millionth time today. You too were paranoid of professors dropping random stuff on you related to finals without warning. Instead of an email for one of your courses, you had one in regard to tutoring. The subject line read: Addition to Tutoring Agenda
Hello, I hope all is well. I want to apologize in advance for the inconvenience. There's a student that was placed on academic probation this afternoon. It's listed as an emergency, as he's at a high risk for failing the course. His scores soared when the two of you worked together, but after he pulled out, they've since plummeted. I hope this isn't too huge of an ask. You're one of the best tutors in the program, I believe in you. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!
Thank you,
Lia Herring
Student Leader of STEM Tutoring
You were speechless. There was no way this was your life. You were being forced strongly encouraged to re-admit your ex boyfriend into your tutoring lineup. Cut the fucking cameras. Your life was a joke.
You got up to tell Rina and she was upset for you.
"She can't just dump that on you, that's pure laziness on his fault! You have your own finals and your current mentee's finals to worry about already," She blinked rapidly, "Does she expect you to conduct some sort of miracle and magically make his dumbass pass?"
"I honestly don't know." You liked Lia, she was always sweet to you, and she was the one who told you about Pam's shop. You didn't want to lose your spot as one of the best in the program. Him being mandated to return to tutoring most likely meant that he was on severe academic probation. Which meant he was at risk of being kicked out. You wished a lot of things on Ryomen Sukuna, but you didn't want him to get kicked out of college. He wasn't dumb either, he just didn't care when it mattered.
"If it's too much for you to handle, don't be afraid to say no, " she said firmly. "And don't do it if you feel like you owe him. You don't owe that asshole shit, remember that."
You nodded, but the two of you knew you were going to accept it. Even if it wasn't him, you would have. That's just who you were. You exhaled slowly. Now it was time to face him, just a few weeks after it all went down. Were you ready? Absolutely not, but like you keep reminding yourself: Life goes on.
SUKUNA'S POV
"Did you know that the longer you stare at her Instagram page, the more likely it is she’ll post?" Geto said sarcastically.
Sukuna ignored him and refreshed it once more. Nothing. He knew you didn’t post on social media like that, but this was the only way for him to keep up with you from afar. He called out of tutoring with you and blocked his number on your phone. He knew you didn’t want anything to do with him, but that didn't automatically mean the feeling was mutual.
“This is kinda pathetic,” Gojo called over his shoulder. Thing 1 and Thing 2 were busying themselves with Mario Kart. They offered the controller to Sukuna numerous times, but he didn’t feel like getting up.
Sukuna wasn’t good at showing his affection through words. He never claimed to be. Showing it was always easier for him. He’d always believed they expressed more than any words could ever convey. So he gave it his all, gave you his all. Somehow, that wasn’t enough for you, and it killed him. Yozoru was right, the one time it mattered, really, truly giving himself to someone else, it didn’t count. He even tried words: showing up to your dorm in the middle of the night, urging you to say something, anything before he wrote you off for good. And you didn’t. So now he was here, instead of with you where he belonged.
“Dude, what the hell?” Gojo yelped. To no one’s surprise, he had just lost, again.
“Not my fault you’re awful at the game,” Geto rolled his eyes. He turned back and looked at Sukuna. “Are you done with your whining? I want an actual challenge. Gojo sucks ass.”
“I’ve literally been silent this entire time,” Sukuna countered.
These two have never been in love before, so they had the privilege of nagging him about moving on so quickly. To them, having someone was solely a benefit for them. Sex, status, you name it. Sukuna used to be like that too. He detached from relationships so easily that he would forget girl’s names at times. You changed him for the better. You humbled him so badly he had to sit with himself and realize he needed to improve. To be better for you.
He wanted to be the one to give you the world. He couldn’t do that with the way he’d been moving previously. The full one eighty he did for you didn’t go unnoticed either. Everyone around him pointed it out. It wasn’t until they met you that they understood. You had a big heart and you were genuine. You cared for Sukuna in a way no else had. They teased him and called him whipped, but when he asked them, “She’s great, who wouldn’t be?” they’d all murmured in agreement. You were beautiful, smart, and funny. He missed you so badly it physically hurt.
Blocking himself from your phone that night? A petty move for sure, but it would stop him from reaching out and folding. You had Sukuna in the palm of your hand and you didn’t even know it. If you called him up at a time like now, he’d be up and out the door to see you. He melted like putty at your touch. He knew how special it was for you. To you, anything physical was sacred. It was about sharing an actual connection with the person you loved. Sukuna cherished it. He missed you playing with his hair when you cuddled. Missed wrapping his arm around you when it started to grow colder. Missed peppering kisses down your neck and watching you squirm. Missed your warm hugs. Life felt so empty without you. He can’t believe he went so long without knowing what it was like to have loved you.
He pried his eyes away from the TV screen when he heard his phone ding. A notification, from mail? When did he turn those on?
Subject: Academic Probation Notice
Dear RYOMEN SUKUNA,
Your current academic performance indicates that you are at risk of failing INTRO TO STATISTICS.
Due to your current standing, you are required to resume tutoring sessions effective immediately. Continued tutoring attendance is mandatory through the remainder of the semester.
Please take immediate action to improve your academic standing. Failure to meet these requirements may result in further academic consequences.
This is an automated message. Please do not reply.
He tossed his phone to the side and groaned. Gojo and Geto looked up from the came and frowned at him.
"Don't spoil it for me," Gojo said mockingly, "She didn't post?"
"Shut up," Sukuna snarled.
Geto tilted his head at the pink haired man. "Wait what happened?"
Sukuna rubbed his neck and muttered something under his breath.
"I can't really hear you from over here, you gotta speak up man."
With a vexed exhale, Sukuna dropped the bomb. "I'm on academic probation, so I have to go back to tutoring." He dragged his hands down his face and look up and saw the horror on their faces.
"With her."
You were currently hiding in your car with no plans of leaving anytime soon, even though the scheduled time to tutor your returning student was soon. No matter how hard you tried to pretend, you knew it was going to hurt seeing him. You'd avoided going to places he was bound to be, so you hadn't seen him since that night. Your mom insisted that the first time was always hard and that it was normal. She advised you to take it easy and not to stress over it, and the best way to handle it is to just let it happen. You begged to differ. You were going to show him exactly how you felt about him.
When he walked up to the usual table, he took the seat across from you instead of beside you as usual. You almost laughed at his arrogance. Like it or not, the both of you were here because of his incompetence.
"I know this isn't the ideal situation for either of us, but I really need to pass."
You pressed your mouth in a thin line and nodded.
“So um, where should we start?” He asked awkwardly.
“I have no idea. It seems like all my efforts from those weeks helping you were thrown out the window,” you said flatly. “These test scores are awful. It might take a miracle for you to pass,” you echoed Rina from earlier. The two of you were screwed, royally.
“I got kind of distracted,” He shrugged. His nonchalance was bound to get on your nerves. Once again, his grade is on the line, not yours.
“Snap out of it then.” You let out a sigh of disgust and opened your previous notes. Looking back now, it was obvious how hard you were crushing. The pages were filled with notes with little doodles on the side. Some attempts to draw him, some hearts, some things you wanted to say but couldn’t find the courage to. Your parents were right. You were smitten. Key word "were."
“I’m trying,” he shot back.
You snorted. “It doesn’t seem like it.”
He fell silent and glared at his textbook in front of him. You wondered if that if he stared hard enough, would it burst into flames?
“I’m sorry if my efforts aren’t enough for you. I’ll try harder,” he hissed. You paused. Has the King of Kindness graced you with a double meaning? You sure hoped not. He was not ready to get into it with you, right here right now.
“Wonderful,” you said sarcastically. “Now tell me, how would you approach this problem?” You reached across the table and tapped your pencil at the problem he had open.
“Obviously I don't know or else I wouldn’t be here?” He replied, attempting and failing at keeping his tone level. His frustration was evident, but you didn’t care. Yours was too. In fact, you’d argue that you had more of a right to be considering how much of a major inconvenience he was being.
“Just try it,” you waved your hand dismissively, “Be sure to block any distractions and really focus your attention on what matters most,” you said coldly. His eyes met yours and it felt like time slowed. You held his gaze and you narrowed your eyes at him. Good, it seemed like the message was received. If he really wanted to do this, you were now ready to.
After a beat of silence, he swallowed hard. “Okay,” he muttered.
You watched for a couple of minutes as he struggled. He used things you’d gone over together, but it could only do so much to help his level of understanding.
After repeating the problem over and over, erasing his work and rewriting so much his hand hurt, he met your eyes once more. “I need help.”
You fought the urge to roll your eyes. “I could have told you that fifteen minutes ago.”
“That’s fair,” he said carefully, “I just wanted to make good on my promise.” He held your gaze and that’s when tears started to prickle in your eyes. You quickly looked away and busied yourself with organizing your already neat notes. You wanted the floor to open and swallow you whole. This could not be happening to you right now. Crying in front of him over of a stupid pinky promise made ages ago was pathetic at best. And yet, here you were.
You cleared your throat and took a deep breath. “To start off, you shouldn’t be doing this,” you tapped your pencil at his paper, “That just threw you off entirely.”
He erased all of his work and looked up at you eagerly. “How do I do it then?”
“When we have problems like this, we always make sure to…”
After the session, you took the long way to your car. You survived. Sure you were this close to screaming at him and bawling your eyes at simultaneously, but all in all, you survived.
Rina was waiting for you in the living room to hear how it went.
“Well?” She asked, voice full of hope. She supported you when you told her you’d still help him. You knew she definitely would have refused to, but you were appreciative of her.
“I was really rude, which is so unlike me,” you replied and put your bag down on the couch, “l almost cried too? It was him bringing up this promise we made at the very start that brought up memories and I don’t know I—” You tripped over your words as you tried to rationalize it all. “I thought I was okay, but I’m not. I’m angry and sad and I miss him, but also hate him?” You plopped down on the couch beside her.
“That’s completely fine. Feel how you feel, but don’t suppress it,” she gave you a side hug and you rested your head on her shoulder.
“I can’t believe I have to do that until his final next week.”
“You don’t have to,” she reminded you, “You’re doing him a favor you know.”
“I know,” you sighed, “but I guess I decided it was time to make good on my promise too.”
After coming to terms with how you felt, you decided you didn't have it in you to pretend to be nice to him. Each and every session, you were aloof, and in return, he was extremely patient. You watched him grit his teeth, mutter under his breath, and clench his jaw each time you dismissed him. And yet, he held his tongue. You guessed that even though he left, his pity for you still hadn't.
He didn't even tell you how his final went. You got an email informing you about his results: he passed the class with a B minus, just like you had originally hoped. Against your better judgement, you were so proud of him and considered congratulating him. But he didn't tell you the news himself, so that ultimately stopped you from reaching out.
Rina applauded you for a job well done. "You might be a wizard, holy shit. You passed your finals with flying colors, of course—"
"Of course," you echoed with a grin.
"—And also helped the other people you tutored succeed too. Not to mention you coming in clutch to save your evil ex boyfriend from expulsion. You're literally an angel sent from heaven." She clasped her hands together as if to pray. "Please thou' angel, I need fifty bands by Friday."
You giggled and shook your head. "You're ridiculous."
She huffed and rolled her eyes. "Just taking advantage of rooming with the best."
"My services are limited to academics only."
Her eyes lit up. "Can you make my orgo chem professor mysteriously disappear?"
"Er...that sounds like a crime."
"So what? You'd totally mog everyone in prison with your mugshot," she exclaimed.
The two of you laughed at how silly she was being before turning back to packing. You'd won the championship, and now it was time to reap the benefits. You were excited to go back home and see everyone and Rina was excited for her parents to finally meet the guy she was absolutely smitten with. Winter holiday meant new beginnings too. The New Year was quickly approaching. You wanted to be able to say you were entering the New Year with high hopes, and expectations. That meant leaving any bad feelings in the past. Even though you were surrounded by so many blessings, your heart still called for the one thing it shouldn't.
Your parents picked you up from the airport and pulled you into a warm hug. You hadn’t realized how homesick you were until you were finally in their arms. Your heart swelled as they beamed at you.
“How’s my angel?” Your dad asked, squeezing your cheeks.
“Hey…” You swatted his hand away playfully and he laughed. “Don’t do that, we’re in public,” you whisper shouted. “I’m good I just missed you, how are you guys?”
They caught you up on everything you missed. Some petty beef going on between the neighbors on either side of them. Your dad’s thoughts on real Christmas trees. The two of them were considering getting a puppy. “Considering,” your mom emphasized, and side eyed your dad. It was all mundane really, but it was nice to talk to them face to face.
The feeling of being in your childhood room was so overwhelming. A rush of nostalgia hit you as you walked around and reminisced. Your mom was the biggest neat freak ever, so she made sure to clean it periodically and make it look nice for your visit. The holidays always made you remember your childhood and how excited you were for Santa. When you got older, and you found out the truth about the man in the North Pole, you just asked for more of your nerdy interests. You couldn’t bring most of your things with you to college, so you loved coming back home to them during break.
Your phone buzzed on the counter beside you. You glanced up and unlocked it to see a few texts from Rina.
rina: how was your flight?
you: it was alright, there was a crying baby though
you: didn't get a wink of sleep
rina: dang, i’m sorry
You bit your lip and sighed. You wanted to ask her about how her trip with her boyfriend was going, but it made you think of him. What was he up to? He didn’t really talk much about family. You wondered if he even went back home to visit during breaks like this. Back then, you brought visiting home with you since you wanted him to meet your parents. There was so much you got to know about him, yet so little in the grand scheme of things. What was he up to now, you wondered. And another thought crept in: Had he already moved on, just in time for the holidays?
SUKUNA'S POV
Sukuna hated being the bigger person. He found it pointless, letting the other person basically get away with doing whatever they wanted and taking it like a bitch. Each time you snapped at him, he froze and reminded himself you were hurt, and reasonably so. All things surrounding the breakup were hazy and there were definitely left over feelings. Hard ones at that.
"These test scores are awful. It might take a miracle for you to pass,”
“Snap out of it then.”
“I’m trying."
“It doesn’t seem like it.”
"Be sure to block any distractions and really focus your attention on what matters most."
Those last two hurt a lot. He knew what you were implying. He tried his hardest to communicate with you. And he wasn't proud of blocking you that night, at all. Did you hate him for it? Did you hate him in general? It sure seemed like it. Whatever it was, you were probably on your way home to see family, even though he was originally supposed to come along. Now, he was crashing at his knucklehead of a friend's apartment until winter holiday was over. They were playing Mario Kart again and he was stalking your Instagram once again. It hadn't changed since before the breakup, but he still stared. He rolled his eyes each time Gojo and Geto yelled at each other during the game. Was this really how it was going to be?
Before he could stop himself, he left Instagram and opened his messages.
sukuna: rina, can you do me a favor
The three dots popped up almost instantly.
rina: no, and you shouldn’t be contacting me. you know better
sukuna: please. i want to see her, just one last time. then i’ll never bother her ever again. i swear
rina: she’s out of town visiting family
sukuna: i know
The three dots stayed there for a while. Then, finally:
rina: what are you implying?
sukuna: you know damn well what i’m implying
sukuna: i know she’s the smarter one but c'mon
sukuna: oops. i mean dang well.
rina: okay, woah. humble yourself. drop the attitude if you want my help
It was his turn to take a bit to reply.
sukuna: got it
rina: if this blows up, it is all your fault, not mine.
rina: i’m only doing this because she’s in denial, not because you deserve it
Denial? What did that mean?
sukuna: i appreciate it, thanks
Rina forwarded the details of your itinerary. She instructed him to only reach out when you weren’t around your parents. He looked bad enough, he didn’t want to add stalker to the long list of names he was probably already being called. Sukuna complied, grateful for the advice. He knew he definitely didn’t deserve it. Nonetheless, it was time to catch a flight.
He got up and started to pack his things. Gojo and Geto watched him suspiciously from the couch.
“Am I that trash at the game that you’re packing up to leave?”
“No, but you’re that dumb,” Sukuna shot back.
Geto laughed at Gojo’s shocked expression and shook his head. “He’s right. How many classes did you end up passing this semester again?”
“That doesn’t matter.” Gojo turned back to the game, but Geto wasn’t done with him yet.
“It should if you don’t want to take summer classes. Ryomen, how many did you pass?”
“All.”
“Even the stats class? Weren’t you skippi—oh. The girl.” He gave Sukuna a knowing look. “Take notes,” he said and swatted Gojo.
“That would require studying, and I’m good. Where are you going anyway Ry?” Gojo questioned.
“None of your business,” Sukuna replied simply. He wasn’t in the mood to be talked down by these two. He was on a mission.
“Ryomen,” Geto paused and frowned at him, “Don’t tell me you’re…”
“He’s going to the girl? Isn’t she visiting home?” Gojo finally caught on. He chuckled at his friend and leaned back on the couch. “Wow, I never thought I’d see the day. Ryomen Sukuna is chasing a girl halfway across the country. Miracles really do happen.”
Sukuna let out an exasperated sigh. “While I’m gone, do me a favor Gojo and get your head out of your ass. You’re starting to get on my nerves,” he paused and glanced at the screen, “And get better at Mario Kart before Geto flings the controller at your head.”
Gojo grinned at him. “Roger that.”
Sukuna rolled his eyes at his corny reply. “And Geto, call me if you need anything.”
“Got it,” Geto replied. Sukuna made his way to the door with his suitcase in hand and reached for the doorknob before Geto continued: “And good luck man.”
Sukuna lowered his hand and nodded. “Thanks.”
“This is some shit straight out of a romcom I'm not gonna lie, but you got this. You really like her to the point it’s kinda gross, so I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Gojo called from the couch.
Sukuna chuckled. “This is no romcom, this is real life. If she doesn’t want to see me then,” he shrugged, “At least I can say I tried.”
“Isn’t flying across the country to beg for her back more than trying?” Geto wondered out loud.
“I’m not begging,” Sukuna frowned.
Gojo and Geto gave him a look.
“Okay, whatever the technicalities are, it was worth the risk. It always has been.” And with that Sukuna stepped out and slammed the door behind him. He was ready to bite the bullet and stop mopping around. The fear of you rejecting him never left the back of his mind, but he still had meant what he said. You were a risk worth taking, and he’d make that same bet again, and again, and again.
♡ 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐃𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐓... to professor!reader giving them an f?
THEY'RE PISSED ♡ because seriously? no way. you're just trying to get back at them for all the lip they give you in class. well today's your unlucky day cause they've got more where that came from! so here they are, at their grown age, squabbling with you after class over your clear discrimination of them. so what if you may be right? or that you're pretty? or that the way you fume and purse your lips makes them wanna kiss you? wait... run that one back. now they're staring at your lips as you fuss at them, telling them to work harder— actually, how about work smarter? now you're here, against your desk and their mouth hot on yours. pinning your hands down that crumple at their assignment. tongue down your throat, groaning at your little whimpers. god you piss them off. they'll just fuck their way to a good grade instead. spread.
THEY'RE DESPERATE ♡ oh they're well aware this is a stupid idea; but hey, maybe they'll live the fanfic of their dreams and seduce their professor... plus up their grade. a win-win, right? they slip over to you, too much confidence in their smooth smile for someone who tanked a class. leaning up against your desk, sweet-talking you. “y'know... I could always put in the work for some extra credit.” boldly, they slip a finger beneath your chin, pop it up. “so what's it gonna be, professor?” their lashes hang, their voice sultry— it's almost embarrassing. “wanna teach me another lesson? how to please that pretty bod—” they gulp when you actually press into them. put your mouth on their ear. hitch their breath. then whisper... “try harder next time, pretty boy.” oh fuck. they're hard. and you're out the door, leaving them with their own shame and now a throbbing boner.
SATORU · SATOSHI · toji · suguru · high choso
THEY'RE PATHETIC ♡ what. a fucking. mess. it's official folks, their life is over. how will they face you again? what, they're supposed to just trot on into class and pretend their name isn't tarnished in your books? impossible. they are nothing, they are worthless, they have succumbed to the lowest of low. y'know what? when they end up working at a mcdonald's they hope you show up to their drive-thru and expose their grades to the intercom. they're a failure. so they decide to do the only logical thing: approach you after class, all big puppy-eyes and quivering pouts, and apologise. “I'm sorry I let you down, I'll try harder.” hell, it's a miracle they aren't on their knees. they can't even look you in the eye! so when you reached over and patted their head with a little, assuring croon? they were done for. staring at you like you were an angel, heaven, fucking god herself. “marry me.” they're spluttering before they can realise— hey. maybe you could be their sugar mama while they work at mcd!
YUTA · choso · IJICHI
THEY'RE VINDICTIVE ♡ you picked the wrong game to play missy professor. wanna dance? let's tango. they're up all night, making a fake tinder, designing an ai persona, searching for you. ( how do they know you're on a dating app in the first place? don't ask questions. ) they pretend to be an established gentleman in his forties, chat you up, catfish you by running all their texts through a damn dialect checker cause they need to play the part of a geezer your age. now they've got a date— perfect. you'll arrange the restaurant, the time, and when they find you all dolled up? hah! they pull the chair in front of you out, plop down in their outfit they spent wayyyy too much time picking, and prop their head on their fist. “check,” they pop a complimentary olive into their mouth. “mate. now about that fucking grade—”
Pairing: Nanami Kento x Hiromi Higuruma × FemReader
Rating: Explicit / 18+ MDNI!!
Word Count: ~ 1k words
Sum: A long day of work leave has you planning a lazy, lace-clad surprise for your husband, Nanami. But when the front door clicks open to reveal an unannounced, equally exhausted guest, your quiet countdown turns into a hot, breathless lesson in consensual sharing.
Content Warnings / Tags: Accidental exhibitionism, caught in lingerie, bi threesome (MMF), male masturbation, voyeurism/watching, unprotected vaginal sex (P-in-V), fingers-in-mouth play, throat play/light choking, praise kink (good girl/command kink), face-climax, fluid-swapping/snowballing, fem reader, SMUT.
……
It had been a long day on work leave for weeks after asking for a time off work, completely bored out of your mind until tonight. Eager to surprise your husband Nanami you tracked down the lace lingerie he’d bought you slipped it on and rushed downstairs where you curled up on the living room couch under a throw blanket.
He’d texted that he was finally on his way home and as you waited, you let the blanket slip just enough to expose the lace, counting down the seconds until his keys turned in the lock.
….
The door clicks open and Nanami’s deep, gravelly baritone fills the hallway overlapping with the quieter, smoother voice of someone else. Your heart actually tries to escape from your chest.
They step into the dim light of the living room both of them looking completely drained. Nanami has his suit jacket slung over his forearm his tie already slightly loosened at his collar. Higuruma is right behind him his dark hair a little messy from the wind outside his hands buried deep in the pockets of his slacks.
Nanami takes one step into the room and freezes dead in his tracks. His eyes drop to the exposed lace of your lingerie, his face drained of colour, behind him Higuruma stops too his sharp gaze accidentally locking onto you before he can even process what he’s looking at.
Shit.
You quickly throw over the blanket to cover yourself, astounded, you laugh awkwardly “ah darling you’re home!” You exclaim “didn’t expect you to have company” you say, your voice pitching high with panic and attempt to play it off like nothing happened.
Nanami says nothing and just clears his throat. Higuruma tries way too hard to look the floor. After seconds of pure silence you excuse yourself and rush upstairs and throw on an oversized shirt and check your phone you see the unread message Nanami had sent you before arrived. Oh my god
……
You walk down, nervously holding your phone trying to apologise “l-I’m so s-sorry Mr Higuruma, m-my phone was u-upstairs, I didn’t see the t-text…”
Nanami doesn’t accept the polite apology. He steps forward, closes the distance and grips your waist. He clears his throat, a low dark rumble vibrating in his chest as his hands grip your waist tightly “ she’s apologising to you, Hiromi,” he rasps, his fingers dragging slightly into your hips. “Look at her”
Higuruma’s throat bobs as he swallows hard. His gaze slowly rises from the hardwood floor, dragging up the expanse of your bare thighs before finally locking onto your wide panicked eyes. His usual neat composure is completely gone, he’s entirely flustered .
“I-it’s… fine,” Higuruma rasps, his voice rough and stripped of all its formal eloquence. He takes a single, slow step closer into your space, his hands coming out of his pockets. “You don’t need to apologise “
A low, satisfied hum vibrates against your back from Nanami’s chest. Without breaking eye contact with Higuruma, Nanami’s large hand slides down to the back of your thighs, using his weight to gently but firmly herd you backward, back into the dim light of the sitting room. “Good,” Nanami murmurs against your hair. “Now let’s go back to the couch darling. We have a lot to discuss”
Oh.
…..
Now you’re bent over the cushions of the couch, your hands desperately clawing on the cushions. Higuruma is a heavy, relentless weight behind you. His large hands are locked firmly on your waist, anchoring you in place as he hits a deep, bruising, pace that completely steals your breath.
The room is filled with the wet, slick friction of the act, the quiet creak of the couch and Higuruma’s low guttural grunts vibrating against your ear with every deep, rolling thrust. You can only let out broken whines and breathless gasps, completely overwhelmed by the sensation.
Every time you manage to look up through your blurred vision, your eyes land straight on Nanami. He’s sitting back in the heavy armchair right in front of you, his legs spread wide.
His lone hand is working himself slow, heavy, agonising strokes. His knuckles are white and his eyes are entirely blown out, tracking every single shudder of your body. “F-fuck… you’re taking him so well sweetheart,” Nanami rasps, his breathless baritone pinning you just as hard as higuruma’s weight. “Don’t stop, Hiromi. Take every bit of her”
Higuruma lets out a broken groan at Nanami’s praise, his pace turning more frantic, more desperate. He reaches around, his hand sliding up the front of your tits, over your collar bone. Before you can even gasp, his long fingers find your lips, sliding slickly into your mouth, letting you suck on them, tasting the salt of his skin as he continues to wreck you.
Your head falls forward, your chin dropping forward the cushions as sheer pleasure of Higuruma’s pace completely breaks you.
“Don’t look down sweetheart,” Nanami’s voice cuts through the haze sounding less like a request and more like an absolute demand. He gives a slow stroke of his own length in the chair. “Look at me while another man uses your cunt”
Behind you, Higuruma lets out a low groan. Agreeing to the command, he slides his wet slick fingers out of your mouth, leaving your lips parted. His hand doesn’t stay gone for long, it trails down to your neck, palm flattening over the centre of it with a heavy, grounding pressure.
Before you can even let out a sound, higuruma hooks a single digit firmly beneath your jawline. He tilts your head upward and back, forcing your gaze to Nanami.
“Why don’t you look at your husband, hm?” Higuruma murmurs against the shell of your ear, his voice vibrating straight down your spine.
His pace stays completely merciless as he continues to ram straight into your pussy. His dual grip completely anchors your body, one hand pinning the front of your throat with a suffocating, possessive pressure, while his other hand digs deep into the flesh of your hips, ruthlessly pulling them back to meet every deep, rolling thrust. The thick, wet sound of his pelvis slamming against your ass fills the space between your broken, helpless whimpers.
Across the small gap, Nanami’s stroking turns frantic and rapid. His knuckles turn white around his leaking shaft as he quickens his pace, his head tilting back slightly with a ragged groan.
He rises from the armchair, his dripping dick fully flushed as his towering frame looms directly over your face. Standing over you completely undone, he looks down at you and he lowers his voice into a breathless, unyielding command.
“Tongue out, sweetheart”
You oblige instantly, the view from below completely consuming you as his rapid strokes finally push him over the edge. Thick hot ropes of cum spurt across your face, coating your skin and tongue. Nanami lets out a broken groan, his towering posture finally slouching down as he leans over you. He uses his tongue to slowly, deliberately lick his own fluid from your skin, kissing your wet lips to claim every drop before he finally pulls back.
But he doesn’t step away.
Still completely breathless, Nanami shifts his focus directly to the man behind you. Reaching across your trembling body, his hand wraps firmly around the nape of Higuruma’s neck, his fingers digging into his hair. With a sharp, possessive tug, Nanami pulls Higuruma forward, crashing their mouths.
They share a deep, desperate taste of Nanami through that open mouthed kiss, their tongues tangling over your head while their breath hitches in unison.
Still locked against Nanami’s lips, Higuruma’s lower body kicks into a frantic overdrive from behind, his pelvis slamming ruthless against your soaking wet core with everything he has.
The double stimulation of the messy kiss above you and the blinding friction below trigger your own release. Your core clenches violently around his length as a loud, completely undone moan is torn from your throat, your entire body trembles as your orgasm finally clashes over you in heavy, pulsing waves.
Feeling you clamp down around him, Higuruma lets out a muffled growl straight into Nanami’s mouth. His grip on your waist tightens as his own release hits him, his hips bucking one last, deep thrust as he floods your twitching pussy with thick, boiling ropes of his own cum.
…
A/n - this is lowkey my first time writing a fanfic😔. I had to write for the plot because the vision was too specific to ignore.
notes: catboy!cho had been suspiciously distancing himself from you since the first time you had cuddled, you thought he hated you since every single time you encountered, his tail would curl but little did you know he couldn’t have stop thinking of how your body was pressed against his.
tags: catboy!cho x afab!reader, slight angst, happy ending, whimpering, whining, rutting, grinding, p in v, oral, neediness, kinda mean reader, choso is flustered easily, fluff, smut with plot, subby cho, kinda dom reader, fingering, reader as nipple piercings.
it’s been two weeks. two weeks since you two cuddled, and catboy!cho couldn’t stop thinking about it. your breasts pressed against him, your soft thighs intertwining with his, your hands unconsciously playing with his hair, his hands trailing down to feel your sweet and plump sides. he couldn’t stop, his brain was filled with the nastiest sex positions he could get you in.
ever since catboy!cho had moved in as your new roommate, you guys were closer than ever. he got more comfortable with having his ears and tail around you, got comfortable with purring and his sharp canines whenever he ate. he was adorable, always flustered too, you had a feeling he liked you… you just weren’t too sure.
you came home, the house smelled… clean for the most part, he must’ve done some cleaning. when you walked in, taking off your shoes by the door and calling out that you were home, catboy!cho didn’t respond. which was rare… and out of the ordinary because catboy!cho never missed a moment to see you or talk to you. you walked further in, seeing the kitchen was clean and nobody was around.
typically he would be in the living room, taking his afternoon nap which always goes into the evening before you wake him up but he wasn’t, you called for him, knocked on his door and opened it. he was on his bed sleeping, well what you thought was sleeping, he was actually two seconds away from cumming after jerking off to your voice.
you padded over, sat on the bed and adjusted his hair. fuck, this was not the timeeee, he wanted to cum, nor be edged and if anything with you touching his hair and face so gently, he was about to cum under the sheets. “such a good kitty…” you said softly, caressing his head and softly touching his ears, they flicked as he pretended to wake up.
he blinked up at you, speaking in a low and kinda raspy voice, “you’re home?” you nodded, taking your hand away. he nodded and rolled over, his back to you. you frowned, typically he’d nuzzle into your thighs or pull you down but… he’s just going back to sleep. “are you hungry?” he shook his head, “i ate.” you mumbled an “oh” and got up before saying, “are you okay?” he paused.
“i’m fine. tired.”
“you’re always tired.”
“i’m a cat.”
“true.”
it was awkward, which was rare, catboy!cho was awkward but never ever would he try to shorten a conversation. “did i do something wrong?” he shook his head, “i’m just tired.” you sighed and walked out, closing his door before pausing outside of it. you thought if he was okay, maybe his heat is coming, or maybe he’s hurt… you started to overthink, maybe something was wrong with you and you had pissed him off.
as you walked to your bathroom, the thoughts were endless, you washed off and went to make yourself dinner, leaving a plate for him too just in case. you knew typically that if he was going to sleep already, he wouldn’t be up until morning, so you put the plate in the fridge as you ate your own. eventually you got up to go to bed and brushed your teeth, catboy!cho was still in his room, sometimes he’d come out to say goodnight, or you’d go in there…
but you were scared, not frightened, just scared that if you did say goodnight he’d get upset… more than you think he already is. you sighed and got into bed, you really tried to sleep, but it just didn’t work, until you heard his door open. you sat up quickly, as much as catboy!choso was the one with the heightened hearing, you could hear everything he was doing outside of his room.
he was pacing, he didn’t know what to do, he wanted to apologize for his cold mood, curl up into your bed and smoosh his face in between your breasts, he chewed on his thumb nail, before he smelled the food you left in the fridge. as he made his way over, you got up, of course he pretended not to hear as you opened the door and peeked out to watch him heat up the food.
at least he was eating, but you saw him as he had his thumb in between his teeth and his tail swaying behind him frantically. you creeped out, he looked up, then looked away at the microwave. “what’s wrong choso?” he shook his head, “nothing, i’m fine, i’m sorry i woke you up.”
“you didn’t, i couldn’t sleep anyways.”
…
“do you want me to make more food?”
he shook his head.
“choso.”
he looked up at you, before his eyes darted around and landed at his feet. you walked closer, “what’s wrong? is it me?” he shook his head, refusing to look at you, as his tail started to curl. he frowned, “do i make you uncomfortable?” he looked up at you, before looking away.
you took it as a yes, it was truly a ‘no’ and a way of saying ‘please don’t leave i’ve been blue balled since you came home’ but you didn’t catch it, of course because when you studied how cats react and their body language, a tail curling wasn’t the best sign.
you frowned and walked back to your room, choso could tell you were at least pissed, your feet were a bit heavier, you didn’t turn the knob when closing your door for a quieter sound. he stared at the microwave beeping before taking it out, he stared at the food. he didn’t really want to eat, he just felt bad.
he felt undeserving of food too, he wanted to starve… and to beg, he wanted your forgiveness, your sweet voice to coo and calm him down whenever he hysterically cried in your arms. he sniffled before taking the plate to his room, and sitting on the desk. he started to eat mechanically, small tears falling as each fork full came up.
once he finished, he laid down and cried into the pillow, eventually falling asleep with his eyes red and puffy. when he woke up in the morning, his eyes were super red, he splashed water on his face and brushed his teeth before walking out to the kitchen.
as always you were there cooking, you didn’t really hear him over the stove but he hovered a bit while grabbing the gallon of milk and pouring a cup. you glanced at him and smiled softly before going back to cooking, he hid his face as much as he could as he watched you cook.
once you finished, he sat down to eat, thanking you for the food in a very hushed tone before diving in quickly. you watched him eat, “were you hungry?” he nods, keeping his head down. you knew something was wrong, his eyes seemed red and he didn’t seem okay… well he hasn’t been okay since you came home yesterday.
you ate, keeping an eye on him before speaking. “i’m going out for groceries, do you want to come?” knowing that whenever you asked he normally always came. he shook his head, you froze, “huh?”
“i don’t want to go.” you blinked,
“but… you always go? what if i miss something you want? cho, you know im not always reliable with the list-“
he cut you off, “you’ll be fine.”
you stood up, “what’s the problem?”
he looked up at you, and shook his head. “nothing is the problem-“
“no! you’ve been moping and clearly avoiding me and i don’t know what i did cho, can you just talk to me?”
he stayed silent, he looked back down at his almost empty plate.
“really? you’re going to continue to ignore me?”
he didn’t speak up. just stared at his plate, on the inside he was beating himself up, he wanted to plead, to beg, to say how much he’d fucking missed you and how much it hurt him to not talk to you but he couldn’t bring himself to. you scoffed and got up, putting your barely eaten plate in the sink.
“at least do the dishes, since you’re not coming.” you put your shoes on and left, he stayed until he heard your car leaving and got up. he put his plate in the sink and took yours out, packing away the food and putting it in the fridge since he knew you’d regret not eating. as he washed, he got mad at himself, his eyes watering again before he wiped it away with his shoulder.
for the next two hours he waited, and waited… and waited again before he heard the door open, he was actually on the couch this time. he wanted to apologize, but he wasn’t gonna say anything, he was going to offer to help put groceries away and hoped that would convince you enough to forgive him… but he knew he’d have to do more.
he watched as you brought bags in, he hesitated before getting up and following you out for the second trip. as he grabbed the bags, he watched as your face seemed to have been frustrated, you grabbed the reusable bags roughly, stomping up the stairs, pushing the door open, huffing when he wouldn’t get out of the way. you didn’t seem happy, and he knew that only putting groceries away wasn’t going to do jack shit.
once you two finished with the bags, he helped put all the stuff away, methodically putting things away in cabinets, helping when you needed things up high. he also watched while your face seemed to have softened as you two moved along. it was progress, but not much. eventually as you two finished, he grabbed a water bottle and gave it to you. you mumbled a thanks and took a sip before handing it back to him, a simple gesture, something you two always did. you always shared drinks.
choso counted it as a kiss, like a middle schooler but he loved it. he could taste the lipgloss, seeing the rim of lipliner on the bottle, he enjoyed it all. he enjoyed you, but he didn’t take a sip, just put the cap back on and put it away. you turned away, starting to cook for lunch before he put a hand on your shoulder. you paused, he mumbled a sorry.
“for what?”
he grumbled, “for not going… and ignoring you… and avoiding you… i didn’t mean to.”
you hadn’t turned around, “how do you “not mean to” avoid me, cho?”
he placed his hands on both of your biceps, needing to be grounded, “i- i didn’t plan to… it just- i’m sorry.”
“what happened?”
he swallowed, “it’s- i can’t say.”
“did i do something?”
“no… not inherently.”
that made you turn around, “ ‘not inherently?’ what kind of bullshit is that cho?”
he shrugged, “i just- it’s hard to say… it’s- it’s kind of uncomfortable.”
you waited, staring at him while he stared at the floor, his hands had dropped. when he didn’t speak, you did.
“are you in heat?”
his eyes widened and he looked at you while his face flushed, “what?! no i- i’m a male cat i- i can’t i- that’s not it!”
you shrugged, “or rut? is that the proper term?”
“i’m not in heat or rut! it’s just you!”
you blinked. “me?”
he nodded and looked down, “remember the time we cuddled?”
you raised an eyebrow, “when?”
“on august fifth… at 7:30pm…”
you snorted, “so… two weeks ago?”
he nodded.
“what about it?”
he shifted, “i can’t stop thinking about it.”
you blinked, you didn’t expect that. considering choso and you had always been touchy with each other, you didn’t know why that one in particular had stuck when him so much. you tilted his chin so he could look at you instead of stare at the floor. “what about it can’t you stop thinking about?”
you had an inkling it was about something he couldn’t address, considering choso is so bad with his feelings. you never really considered choso in a romantic way… it doesn’t sound too bad, just something you never expected.
“i- i keep having weird thoughts… s-sexual ones.”
you blinked, you? he was having sexual thoughts about you? you expected choso to say he couldn’t sleep without you or he wanted a hug not… he was needy. your hand dropped, “about me?”
he nodded, staring into your eyes. “i couldn’t handle it… i’m sorry, it confused me and i- i panicked.” you shook your head, “it’s fine i just… didn’t expect it, since that day?” he nodded.
you stared at him, stifling a laugh. his eyebrows curved, he was worried, embarrassed too, he thought you were making fun of him. you laughed in your hand before muttering a sorry. he shook his head, his eyebrows were still drooped, he was definitely upset.
you started to pet his head, “it’s fine cho, i just laughed because i didn’t think you were serious.” he nuzzled into your hand, purring gently before speaking, “of course i’m serious, i can’t stop thinking about you.” you smiled and fiddled with his ear, scratching lightly at the back. his tail moved side to side slowly while his hands made their way up to your hips. he was needy, always needy but right now, you touching him made it so much worse.
he buried his face into your neck, his purring rumbling on the side, both of your hands made it up to his hair, rubbing and scratching lightly into his scalp and rubbing the pads of your fingers. you continued your ministrations for about five more minutes before patting his back and saying that you needed to cook lunch.
he frowned, “can i stay with you? please? or help? please?” you smiled and nodded, going ahead to cut the vegetables. he watched as you cut, admiring the way you held the knife… it wasn’t much, but for him, everything you did was admiring for him.
once you started to roast the vegetables, he watched as you stirred, his arms wrapped around your waist, his face buried in your neck. as you continued to cook, he was glued to you, waddling with you as you served the plates. he helped set the table, but he did it quickly just to get back to you. once you two sat down to eat, he moved his chair closer to you, his tail wrapping around your chair and he ate quickly.
he would not let you go, the next week went on with him being absolutely glued to your side, when you went out, he was there, when you went to sleep, he was there, bathrooms of course were different… sometimes, since he still stayed outside the door.
this night… was different. he was different, not bad but… yeah. he was so touchy, more than normal, his hands were on your thighs, he started to leave small kisses on your nape and neck, his hands moved up and down on your sides whenever he was watching you cook. until it all came down to bedtime, typically choso will lay down in bed, cuddle you, ask for pets then drift off.
he didn’t do any of that, he laid down, watched as you changed for bed, cuddled you, then slooowly started to rut up against your ass. every other night, you had held him in your chest, his face buried in your breasts but tonight he spooned you. he kissed your neck, licking sensually as he slowly moved his hard on onto your ass.
“cho… so bold.”
he nodded in your neck, “can we? please?”
you teased, “hmmm as long as you be a good boy and make me feel good before you stick it in.”
he nodded fast, kissing your neck, “i’ll do whatever you want, please, i wanna make you feel good.”
you moved your head to look at him and kissed him, he was so eager, his lips and tongue moved passionately against yours. his hands creeped down to your thighs as your tongue grazed his canines. he whimpered, his hands squeezing gently. you rolled over, sitting up and looking at him and spreading your legs.
“use a little kitten lick on me yeah? make me feel good.”
he nodded eagerly, crawling and pulling your pajama shorts and panties off. he whined at the smell and the slick and juicy wetness on your cunt. he sniffed, his nose buried into your folds, before he started to lap at your cunt.
“fuck-! cho- cho don’t stop.”
he couldn’t, he could never stop, he wanted everything to do with pleasing you as he lapped away at your juices, he sucked your clit, his canines grazing softly, you jolted, feeling the sharpness of his teeth in your clit. he looked up, asking if you were okay. you nodded and pushed his head further into your thighs.
“cho… cho i’m gonna cummm… make me cum, be a good boy.”
he moved his tongue faster, his pupils dilating as if he was on catnip, his claws slowly coming out as he got excited. he was careful not to dig into you though. once you came, he licked it all up, as if he was grooming you. you watched him, his gentle and quick licks on your folds, licking the small skin from your two holes to clean it all up.
once he crawled back up, he kissed you, allowing yourself to taste the sweet and tanginess of your cunt as he started to take his shirt off. you watched, he was so lean… but muscular, he was so fucking hot, his stupid fucking happy trail, practically begging you to pull his pants off and suck his life out of his cock.
he kissed you again, he whimpered… and whined, so much. he started to pull off his pants, leaving him in his boxers, he looked at you.
“can i take this off of you?” he fiddled with the end of your shirt. you nodded, he pulled it off, and he stared at the silver bars in between your nipples. he started to lick, gently at first, he never knew you got these, they weren’t there the last time you two cuddled, so he knew they might’ve been sore.
“mmm cho… suck a bit, i don’t mind.”
he sucked on your nipples, softly when you winced, harder when you pulled his hair, this was all turning him on even more, he looked up at you, watching as you threw your head back onto the pillows. he pulled off and tilted your chin down, “can i please fuck you now? please?” he whimpered, his ears and eyebrows drooping.
you pet his head and nodded, “go on and fuck me then, please me kitty.” he was so eager, he took his boxers off, he was fucking hung. the small moments you had felt his cock on the back of you, you knew he might’ve been average, maybe bigger but… but not this. you swallowed and looked at him.
“are you scared? don’t be scared, i’ll make you feel so good, please, i won’t hurt you.” he kissed your cheek, his tip rubbing his precum onto your clit. you bit your lip, “just fuck me cho… please… need you.” he nodded, and mumbled something about prepping you before shoving two fingers in.
you moaned loudly, gripping his wrist as he pumped his fingers in, he didn’t take his eyes off of your face, he started to curl with each pump. “you look so sexy… i can’t believe i’m making you feel good, please cum, gotta make you cum.” you nodded, arching your back at each curl before your climax hit you.
he watched as you panted, he whimpered again, “can i put it in now?” you nodded and looked down, watching as his cock twitched before he slid it in between your folds. he moved the tip slowly in, he watched your face, stopped when you winced, continued when you moaned.
he couldn’t wait anymore, he bottomed out in a second, he panted into your neck, listening to your moans and waiting for you to say go. he moved slowly at first, but didn’t stop to hit your spot, he gripped your hips as he started to thrust harder.
“harder cho… need it… need you.”
he didn’t stop, pounding into you, the sound of skin slapping, his whines and moans and your moaning all mixed in made him ache. he moaned in your ear, whispering and mumbling praises.
“gonna cum- gonna cum cho-“
he lifted you up, sitting you up as he thrusted, you squealed, gripping his shoulders, your sharp nicely painted nails dug into his blades, you bounced with him, feeling his cock hit the tip of your cervix. he mumbled into your neck, “gonna cum… can i cum? please let me cum in you.”
“yes! fuck- cho! cum- cum in me.” he didn’t think twice, he emptied fucking buckets into your cunt, his tail curling in pleasure and his ears perking up at his thrust, moving slowly as he watched your face twist in pleasure from your third climax. as the mixed fluids dripped down your and his thighs, he laid down with you in his arm, not even pulling out.
only you and catboy!cho know how many more times you two went after that, the kitchen, bathroom, shower, couch, his room, everything was used as a prop for sex, but he only cared about you and your pleasure as he wiped you down and cuddled you in the bed. you kissed his head and whispered sweet little nothings in his ear, he purred and clutched your body so tight as his face stayed in your stomach, since your nipples were freshly pierced.
“how long have you liked me cho?” he traced circles on your back, “since i saw you… the first time i moved in.”
“that long ago?!”
“yeah… i never thought we’d get as close as we did.”
“i didn’t either but wow…”
“did you like me?”
you caressed his head, “i wasn’t opposed to dating you, but i never really thought about any feelings towards you. maybe here and then when we were drunk or when you’d cuddle me.”
he looked up at you, “i’m glad you’re here now… i wouldn’t have been able to hold off, i was edged for the last three weeks.”
you laughed, “edged!?”
he nuzzled into your stomach again, flustered and blushing, “don’t bring it up.” you laughed and pet his head before he drifted off to sleep, “such a cute kitty.”
a/n: much much longer than i expected, i had absolutely no clue how to end this. i’ve never had a cat, so don’t trust my word on the body language. catboys/girls tho 🤤
mdni. obsessed boyfriend satoru loves showering with you
content. | fluff into smut , mutual masturbation , nipple play , use of ‘princess’ , ‘pretty girl’
a/n: shout out to inventors of mutual masturbation gotta be one of my fav genders
gojo satoru was clingy. very clingy. some of his coworkers even teased him for being so pussy-whipped. he never tried to defend himself against the accusations.
he wanted to be with you all the time and his favorite way of spending time together was none other than in the shower.
morning sunlight streamed into the bedroom. you were grabbing a pair of cute pajamas from the dresser while gojo sat on the bed. he watched with a slight pout and those puppy dog eyes, huffing and puffing.
“why won’t you let me shower with youu?”
you two had been going back and forth for the past five minutes.
“because babe, I know it’s gonna escalate and I have class.”
he rose from the bed and made his way over, long arms snaking around you from behind. he lowered his head to close the height distance and pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head.
“noo, it’ll be innocent. come on, please?” he murmured against your hair.
you sighed and stared hard at the clothes in your hands. it was so hard to keep a strong resolve when he was all clingy like this. he did work long days and sometimes you guys missed out on quality time.
it was probably unfair of you to limit your already limited time together.
you pulled away from his grasp and led him to the bathroom, glancing over your shoulder. “fine baby, let’s go.”
once you two were undressed and were standing under the warm water, mischief was already swimming in those cerulean eyes. he was so tall and the way he peered down at you sent butterflies swarming in your tummy.
he was semi-hard just from the sight of you but who could blame him? it was the proper reaction upon seeing his perfect girlfriend’s naked body.
“you’re so beautiful, princess.” he said softly, meaning every syllable.
his slender fingers reached out to grab your shampoo before he was pouring an appropriate amount into his open palm. you watched as he lathered it in his hands, a smile tugging at your lips.
“you’re so obsessed with me, ‘toru.” you teased lightheartedly while turning so he could shampoo your hair.
he hummed in agreement and stepped closer, his semi poking your ass while his chest met your back.
with a gentleness, his fingers came up to your head and began working in the soapy liquid. “mhm, gotta problem?”
you smiled and melted under his touch. his fingertips massaged your tender scalp, earning a relaxed sigh from you. “not at all.”
he chuckled and moved closer so your skin stuck together. a part of you was convinced satoru simply couldn’t live without constant skin-to-skin contact. it was fine by you, considering how toned and beautifully built he was.
eventually the shampoo was washed out and he faced you towards him again with a firm hand on your hip. “my favorite part.”
he reached for the washcloth and drizzled your vanilla scented bodywash onto it. you smiled but there was a faint ball of heat forming in your tummy. this was where things usually escalated.
his stare was glued to your body as he dragged the cloth against your neck and shoulders and then lower.
he used the washcloth to lather your chest with airy suds of soap and you felt your entire body warm how it always did. he put the cloth aside for the moment as those same slender fingers came up to rub the foamy soap into your tits.
you blushed and watched his expression. how it was filled with desire and his lips were parted as if he was fantasizing about wrapping them around your nipples like he often did.
he continued rubbing the soap into your plushy skin and slowly inched his fingertips towards your hard points. his eyes met yours as he caught one nipple in between his thumb and forefinger, tweaking it the way you liked.
your lips parted around a soft gasp, the familiar feeling sending all too familiar sparks down to your core. “innocent shower.. ‘toru.” you reminded but there was no strength behind the words.
his mouth quirked up into that cocky smile of his and he just shrugged, pinching the bud.
“just making sure you’re nice and clean.” he mumbled back, his other hand exploring the soft skin around your areola.
you nodded with a small sigh and focused on his touch.
his fingers traveled down your abdomen so slow that it was torturous. you bit back a whimper, the change in his touches already making you weak for him.
he walked you closer under the stream of water while his eyes tracked the soap being washed away from your body.
“pretty girl..” was all he said before he was lowering his head to press soft lips to your waiting mouth. the kiss was wet from the downpour of water and the exchange of sticky saliva.
the rush of water and his mouth hungrily moving against yours muffled the needy noises you let out.
his curious fingers were brushing against your bare mound now while his other hand searched for yours. you knew what he wanted but it was so much better letting him guide you.
his large hand grasped onto your much smaller one and led it towards his fully hard cock that stood out, seeking your attention.
the kiss was broken only for satoru to trail soft kisses down your freshly clean skin. he breathed you in greedily, your signature vanilla so much stronger because it had just barely been rinsed off.
then his pink lips were latching onto your nipple, biting and sucking. you let out a shaky moan and wrapped your fingers around the base of his cock. his girth made it difficult to properly hold him in your hand.
his deep groan reverberated against your breast as he kept his lips in place. meanwhile, one of his hands tightly held onto your hip and his fingers were dipping down to slide through your folds.
“‘toru please..” you whined and pushed your cunt into his hand with desperation. your own hand was working him up, pumping him slowly.
he flicked your nipple with his tongue and at the same time, sunk two slender fingers into your needy hole. velvety walls tightened around the invasion and forced a loud whimper from you.
“move that hand, princess.” he encouraged against the skin of your tits, curling those fingers that were buried deep inside of your cunt.
you nodded wordlessly and pumped his cock faster, squeezing the base in between movements. his fingers began fucking into you at a quicker pace as well, mimicking you.
his breathy groans against your chest mingled with your own cries of pleasure.
“good girl.. keep going for me. wanna — hah — fall apart together.” he breathed out, shaky and uncontrolled.
“wanna come with — ngh — you so bad ‘toru.” you said back in a breathless jumble of words.
you moved your hand with frantic movements, stroking him faster while he brought you closer to your orgasm. he forced a third digit into the tight space, making you cry out.
the pressure coiling in your stomach quickly exploded at the same time his release poured out in white ropes of cum.
“fuck just like that, princess.” he groaned loudly, hips weakly jerking towards you as you continued moving your hand. he was making a mess all over your hand and the shower wall.
your own hips were bucking into his palm as he fucked you through the rushing waves of your orgasm, working you towards another.
his lips found your nipple again and he began suckling loudly, tongue swirling skillfully. the sensation added with the fullness his fingers gave you tore another release from you.
loud whimpers poured out as you soaked his hand with sticky fluids. he pulled out once you came down from it, your own hand falling limp from his softened cock.
“knew this would happen..” you mumbled breathlessly with flushed cheeks and shaky legs.
a slow lazy grin lifted his lips and he was rinsing you off again, reaching for the washcloth while his own chest rose and fell quickly. “whoops.. sorry princess.”
⋮ ⌗ wherein the puppy boy you thought hated you, was actually down bad for you. like, literally. on his knees, eating your pussy.┆
• 1.3k words ; smut ; hybrid puppy choso ; sub!cho ; swearing ; somnophilia ; pet names ; mommy kink ; praise ; oral sex (f receiving) ; mentions of rut ; fingering ; mdni !!
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he was from an underground illegal fighting ring, bred to fight other hybrids and keep the cash rolling. eventually, the owner had been caught, and things escalated from there on.
for the first few months of staying with you, choso was cautious and had his guard up around you. of course, you couldn't blame him. nonetheless, you helped him settle throughout the months, letting him adjust at his own pace.
soon enough, he was less snappy towards you, finally tolerating you— but still, cold. :(
but you're sure you can make him warm up to you even more!!
...
though you didn't mean like this...
it was already midnight, you were comfortably tucked in your bedroom, sleeping peacefully, wearing a cute babydoll nightgown with spaghetti straps and lacy hems.
until, you felt stirring in between your thighs.
you thought you were having a wet dream— wherein your cute puppy boy choso was slurping and messily eating your pussy out.
it was just a wet dream you had because you'd been fantasizing over him.
right?
but the moment you opened your eyes, your sleepy gaze first registered the mop of black hair in between your legs that had fluffy ears?
wait.
fluffy ears?
you gasped, back arching off of the mattress as a wet muscle of tongue lapped you up from your twitching hole to your hooded clit.
choso was immediately alerted, pulling away from your sopping wet pussy momentarily to look up at you with those teary, widened chocolate brown orbs of his that you always seem to get lost in with every eye contact.
his cheeks, marked with a horizontal black ink, was dusted with blush and... pussy juice.
"c-cho? what— what are you doing?" you asked, voice still raspy and soft from slumber, supporting your upper body on your elbows.
"fuck— s-so sorry mommy, couldn't— couldn't help myself— please, please please please can i continue?" he hiccuped, panting and drooling over your lapped cunt. choso was shirtless, giving you a view of his ripped upper body, and wore only his black boxers that had a prominent bulge on the crotch, half-hidden by the way his hips rutted against your sheets.
his beefy arms were wrapped around your thighs, spreading you open, flexing ever so slightly around your soft skin, while his own skin was adorned with a thin sheet of sweat, almost burning.
burning? hot? heat— a rut?!
"u-uhm, y-yeah, yeah g-go ahead cho..." you gulped, relaxing on your bed again, your nipples now pebbled and pressing against the fabric of your thin nightgown.
you were not going to pass on a chance of a lifetime.
or maybe choso liked you from the start, but just didn’t admit it.
instantly, choso's eyes lit up, "t-thank you, thank you mommy... i-i'll make you feel really good, i'll be a good boy..!" his lips wrapped over your pussy with no struggle, a choked gasp coming from your throat as his lips slid around your clitoris, his thumb pulling your hood back so he can suck on your sensitive pearl freely while his other hand rubbed sweet tight circles over your pulsing hole.
"o-oh my fu-ck," you gasped out weakly, toes curling on the sheets, your thighs itching to close shut from how good it felt, but with choso's arms around your thighs, you doubt you can.
your puppy was so fucking good it had to border on a crime!
"does it feel good mommy?" he blinked up at you, his narrowed tongue circling your nub, thumb slowly pushing inside your hole.
"mmmnggh! y-yes, it- f-fuh-feels g-good baby, keep going... be a good boy for mommy..." you mewled breathlessly, reaching down to tangle your fingers in his locks (careful not to harm his ears) and push him down on your wet pussy (to which choso didn't seem to mind), buckling your hips for more.
your room was illuminated by the moonlight that seeped through the windows, filled with obscene slurping and squelching accompanied by your whorish voice and choso's grunts and whines.
the moon shone over your squirming form and choso's sweat-slicked one, hips desperately grinding on his face while he happily took it, his own hips humping your sheets.
"good boy, good— mng— boy... y-you're going to make mommy cum if y-you keep doing that," your cheeks were flushed, sweat forming on your skin, body heating up, but it was nothing compared to choso's.
his face had been buried deep in your cunt with no intention of pulling away, drowning in the scent of your feminine musk, drinking your juices greedily like a starved man.
every naughty flick of his tongue on your exposed pearl, every sweet kiss on your fat labias, and every suck on your pink pussy flesh was driving you insane.
he knew every external spot that made you keen out.
the same spots you abuse and rub when masturbating.
of course, choso still pulled away ever so often.
... to ask for praise and reassurance.
"a-am i doing good, mommy?"
"i'm your good boy, right? only i get to eat you out like this, right?!"
"not there? are you sure, mommy? but you leak so much when i kiss your clit!"
gods, you needed to train his filthy mouth.
but then again, that same filthy mouth was the same reason why you're so fucked out already.
"g-good boy, right there, pup— m-mommy's gonna cum soon," you gasped out, scratching your nails over his scalp that made his fluffy black tail wag behind him, his small fangs grazing your sensitive flesh with each dopey smile.
"then cum for me, mommy, please give me a reward for being a good boy." he begged, whining and sucking harder on your pussy— kissing and licking all over, your juices spreading all over your inner thighs, biceps flexing on them.
"o-oh, fuck, cho— d-don't bite my clit like that!" you keened, trying to push him off as he gently grit and grind his teeth over your pink pearl.
your stomach was getting tight, the forming knot slowly uncurling, and your pussy throbbed like crazy.
finally, choso unwrapped one arm on one of your thighs and slid two fingers in while kissing your clit (as an apology? you didn't know), pumping his middle and ring finger in your tight heat with wet squelching, chocolate doe eyes hooded with deep lust as he eyed you from below.
"k-kyaaaahaahh!!!~~ ♡" with one last pump, you finally came undone, your juices spraying everywhere.
choso pulled his fingers out at the last second, lips closing over your cunt as he drank your pussy squirt greedily, pink hearts forming in those hungry eyes.
after the last drops of your juices spilled from your pulsating hole, choso finally pulled away after placing a soft kiss on your clit that received the most of his relentless hunger. he began to loosen his remaining hold on your thigh, rubbing and kissing them instead while sitting back on his haunches.
"h-haah, thank you, cho..." your voice was soft and shy, a tired smile painting on your lips.
you felt tired, thus made you pull your nightgown back down and close your legs.
but choso splayed his palms on your thighs, spreading them open. his eyes were lidded and had hearts for pupils, a crazed, hungry grin painted on his lips, exposing his pearly whites and sharp fangs, tail wagging behind him. his voice dropped an octave down, though still deceivingly sweet.
his voice was low and smooth like honey. you were sitting on the lumpy couch in his basement, sharing a blunt with your boyfriend.
your legs are sprawled over his lap, his big hand caressing your thighs while the other hand brought the joint to your lips.
you coughed after every hit, making him chuckle while he rubbed your back comfortingly.
“feelin’ it yet?” he asked lowly, his voice ringing through your ears. you nodded, blinking blearily. it felt like you were dreaming, your limbs limp.
“think so…” you mumble.
“just relax. it’ll feel real good soon.” he added, tracing shapes on your thigh as he finished the blunt himself, stubbing it out.
“hey… there was a few more good hits left in that…” your voice is a little slow, eyes bloodshot as you gestured vaguely towards the ashtray with a lazy hand.
he just smirks softly, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you fully into his lap. “you don’t need any more right now.”
“mm..” you hum, melting into his embrace. you try to say something in protest, but your words slur together unintelligibly.
“shh. it’s alright. i got you.” he murmurs, his hand moving to card through your hair gently. “lemme kiss you.”
he presses his lips ever so gently to yours, not forcing anything, just a soft press.
choso murmured sweet, soothing words into your ears and held you close until you passed out.
he lit up another joint for himself after you’d fallen asleep, smoking it while watching you in the low light with a little smile on his lips. god, he was so in love with you.
your needy boyfriend begs you not to go out with the girls
(spoiler alert— it doesn’t work)
“please don’t go. please? i’ll be so good…”
choso’s needy pleading went in one ear and out the other. maybe this would’ve worked in the early stages of your relationship, but a year in? really?
“babe, i made these plans a week ago, and you knew about them.” you reminded him, ignoring his whines as you fixed your hair in the mirror.
“i know…” he mumbled sadly, coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist. he buried his face in your neck, planting a series of slow kisses along your throat.
you sighed. “this isn’t gonna work.” you muttered, glaring at him in the mirror reflection.
he pouted, his hands traveling lower and slipping under your skirt. “are you sure…?” he whispered against the shell of your ear.
“choso.” you say flatly, pushing his hands off of your thighs. “i’m leaving. you’re not making me late.”
he frowned as you turned around to face him, his expression like a kicked puppy. “will you be home late?”
“mm.. probably not too long after midnight.” you lean up to press a little kiss on his jaw, smiling sweetly.
“and you’ll call me?”
“mhm.”
“if anything happens?”
“yes baby.”
“you won’t go anywhere alone, right?”
“nope, i’ll stay with my friends.”
he just stares at you for a few moments, blinking down at you.
“… be safe.”
you nodded, leaning up to press a few more kisses around his face, making him blush.
“see you later, baby. i love you.”
“i love you too.”
~
and then he waited…
and waited…
and waited.
until he knew that you had finally come home safe.
||a/n: we love when reader has a life of her own rather than just being a mindless ho who’s life revolves around a man 🙌🙌🙌
you are not a "femcel" you are not a "foid" you are not a "hon" you are a woman worthy of respect and taking up space and being happy and the world is yours for the taking you're ALIVE!!!!!!!!! you're a HUMAN!!!!!!! FUCK what they told you!!!!!!
Hey y'all. I'm a black trans woman in need of help with a few bills and some food. I expect a larger payout from teaching this monthbut I still expect to be 200 short on rent. As well as my phone and internet bills coming up. I've had no new donations in a week.
I am setting a goal of 400 to keep things together.
