☆ — That special Enemies to Lovers flavoured spice
Last Updated: 21/09/2024
— Fics involving my original characters [oc x canon & oc x oc works]
Resident Evil Village
One Man's Trash is Another Man's Treasure: Colvyr Covali x Karl Heisenberg — ♡
What's His is Mine and What's Mine is Mine: Colvyr Covali x Alcina Dimitrescu, Colvyr Covali x Karl Heisenberg — □
Alcina's Notes on Colvyr: Features Colvyr Covali, Alcina Dinitrescu and her daughters — □
Kiss on the Forehead: Colvyr Covali x Karl Heisenberg — ♡
Hope: Features Darius Lupan, Ethan Winterd and the Duke — ◇
Far Cry 5
SMFYaM CH1, CH2, CH3, CH4, CH5, CH6: Deputy Dean Sinclaire x Jacob Seed — ◇♤♧
Safe & Sound: Features Dove & Pheobe Ash (@/deputyash's oc's), Dean, Caleb, Charmeine & Ace Sinclaire — Single Parent Crossover AU □
The Angels Right Hand: Features Anya Cherkov, Faith Seed, Simon Dallas and Sharky Boshaw — ◇
Unwanted Visitor: Features Jerome Jeffries, Baptist!Dean Sinclaire and Peggies — Reverse Fc5 AU ◇
Misguided: Features the Seeds, the Sinclaires, Herald!James Rook and Marvin Brooks — Reverse Fc5 AU ◇
Not a Diva: Peggie!Dean Sinclaire x John Seed — ♡
A Glimpse: Deputy Dean Sinclaire x the Seeds — ◇♡☆
A Moment of Bliss: Deputy Dean Sinclaire x John Seed — ♡
Hard Decisions: Baptist!Dean Sinclaire x John Seed — Reverse Fc5 AU ♡☆
Ain't No Rest For The Wicked: Features Marvin Brooks, Deputy Dean Sinclaire, Deputy James Rook, Jess Black, Grace Armstrong, Earl Whitehorse and Peggies — ◇
A Mistake and a Saving Grace: Deputy Dean Sinclaire x Joseph Seed, Features Sharky Boshaw — ☆♡♧
Guilty Conscience: Deputy Dean Sinclaire x John Seed — ◇♡♧
Tired: Deputy Dean Sinclaire x Joseph Seed — No Cult AU ♡
Head For Breakfast: Deputy Dean Sinclaire x Deputy James Rook — ♤♡ [Consensual Somnophilia, Oral, Barebacking]
Dying Light 2
One Minute More Love One Minute More: Nikolas Reeves x Hakon — ♧
24/03: Nikolas Reeves x Hakon x Lawan — ♡
The Boy From Never and Ever [original fiction]
Scars & Ink: Nym Rosemerry x Eden Noble — ♡
May I?: Nym Rosemerry x Eden Noble — ♡♤ [Blowjob, Face sitting, Barebacking]
Shiptober
Day 1, 2 & 3: Wade Wilson x Dean Sinclaire — ♡♤◇ [Day 3: Praise kink, Butt plug, Oral, Handjob, Doggy Style, Overstimulation]
Day 4, 5 & 6: Heather Lucille Valentine x Deputy Dean Sinclaire — ♤♡ [Day 4: Thigh Riding, Handcuffs]
Day 7, 8 & 9: John Seed x Deputy Dean Sinclaire x Deputy James Rook — ♡♤◇ [Day 9: Thigh Fucking, Masturbating, Oral]
Day 10, 11 & 12: Mary May Fairgrave x Anya Cherkov — ♡
Day 13, 14 & 15: Faith Seed x Piper Vasquez — ♤♡ [Day 13: Dry Humping, Intoxication, Oral]
Day 16, 17 & 18: Karl Heisenberg x Colvyr Covali — ◇♡♧
Day 19: Cooper McCoy x Gabriel Stokes — ♡
Day 20: Rai Anderson x Casper Vasquez — ♡
Day 21: Michael Sinclaire x Alexys — ♡
Day 22, 23 & 24: Faith Seed x Deputy Dean Sinclaire — ♡♤◇ [Day 23: Intoxication, Strap On, Bareback, Public Play]
Day 25, 26 & 27: Jacob Seed x Deputy Dean Sinclaire — ♡♤◇☆ [Day 25: Public Play, Vibrator, Edging]
Day 28, 29 & 30: Joseph Seed x Deputy Dean Sinclaire — ♡◇☆
Day 31: Audrey Marshall x Deputy Dean Sinclaire — ♡
Underworld
Under The Bleachers: Razahir 'Raze' Khemse x Salvador Hale — ♡
You Shouldn't Have: Razahir 'Raze' Khemse x Salvador Hale — ♡
Valentine, Bryne [original fiction]
The Rain Fell My Love and So Too Did We: Sybil Bryne x Eliad Bryne — ♧◇
— Fics where the reader is the main character [reader x canon & reader x oc]
Resident Evil Village
Lunchbreak: Male!Lord!Reader x Karl Heisenberg — ♡
Tearful: Features GN!Reader and The Duke — □
Doll: Features GN!Reader and Salvatore Moreau — □
Dating Karl Heisenberg: GN!Reader x Karl Heisenberg — Headcannons ♡
Far Cry 5
Between the Pages: GN!Reader x John Seed — ♡
You're Important to Me Idiot: Male!Deputy!Reader x Sharky Boshaw — ◇♡
Hope County Residents Dating a Plus-Size, Pre-op Trans Man hc's: M!Reader x John Seed, Jacob Seed, Joseph Seed, Faith Seed, Jerome Jeffries, Sharky Boshaw, Mary May Fairgrave, Adelaide Drubman, Grace Armstrong, Eli Palmer — Headcannons ♡♤
Nights Like These: GN!Reader x Jacob Seed — ♡
Through the Pouring Rain: GN!Reader x John Seed — ♡
By The Fire: GN!Reader x Grace Armstrong — ♤ [Oral]
Good Boy: GN!Reader x Sharky Boshaw — ♤ [Praise, Doggy Style]
Intermission: GN!Reader x Nick Rye — ♤ [Public Handjob]
After Hours: GN!Reader x Joey Hudson — ♤ [Fingering, Oral]
You, Me and a Bottle of Whiskey: GN!Reader x Mary May Fairgrave — ♤♡ [Accidental Stimulation]
Caught Up In You: GN!Reader x John Seed — ♤◇☆ [Thigh fucking, Doggy Style, Barebacking, Creampie]
I Always Come Back to You Don't I?: GN!Reader x Eli Palmer — ♡◇
Tongue Tied: M!Reader x Faith Seed— ♡□
Dusk Till Dawn – Part 1: GN!Reader x John Seed — ◇♡
Marvel
Ouroboros — Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6: GN!Reader x Wade W. Wilson — ♧◇♡
what if,, ficfight 👀 oc based writing events my beloved <3
These are concepts I based on artfights usual templates, with an added squick section that I may or mat not scrap since I also want to have author and indivual character profile sheets as well where you could go into more detail about do's or don't's for each character specifically!
If anyone has any feedback/ideas i'd love to hear them!! i'm currently working on designs for the profile sheets and trying to figure out how points would be calculated if this were to be a real event!
These designs are all WIPs and i'm happy to hear any ideas for what people would actually want included or removed on any of them! I went down a rabbit hole of character pages and i'm thinking making a design on google sheets for the final might actually be a better way to go about it!
I also think it might be good to design a wishlist sheet since, being an oc focused event, it'd give people and easier time coming up with what to write!
Summary: Julie has been planning her and Didi’s first date, turns out like with everything she went a bit overboard. But Didi doesn’t mind it, just offers a compromise that Julie doesn’t mind either. Not totally.
Wordcount: 1.3k
11:31 AM …
11:32 AM …
She was late.
11.33 AM …
11:34 AM …
Julie checked her watch, the clock on the wall, her laptop, her phone—11.35 AM … Five minutes late, not a big deal.
11:36 AM … Maybe a bit of a deal.
11:37 AM …
Did she send her the right time? Yes. The seventh check of her text assured her, again, she had undeniably, one hundred percent, said 11:30 AM.
It was a work day, maybe she should have just sent her a pdf, of course she’s busy. Julie’s busy too. They're all busy.
She straightened the manilla folder on her desk for the twentieth time, she had spent all night and some of the morning getting it ready. It would have been easier to email than print out, maybe it was weird she printed it out, maybe this was a mistake—
A knock on the door jolted her out of that panic inducing thought. Didi’s face peaked in from the doorway and Julie stood up on instinct, those dark eyes set in a warm smile leaving her feeling far too seen for her liking.
“Hi, come in.” She said, clearing her throat and gesturing to the chair in front of her desk.
“Goodmorning, I thought we weren’t meeting up until tomorrow for that coffee?”
“We aren’t, today I mean, tomorrow coffee is still happening.” Julie sat down as Didi took the seat across from her. Julie’s brows furrowed and her mouth was set in a tight line while Didi watched her with a curious smile. Didi could tell by Julie’s unsubtle glance at her watch she was late, but seven minutes wasn’t worth making a thing so they both chose to ignore it. Julie decided to ignore it.
“What’cha got there?” Didi asked, pointing at the manilla folder Julie was once again fidgeting with. Oh. Okay. Right to it then, awesome. No turning back now.
“Right, yeah—this,” Julie patted the folder with a proud smile, “is our itinerary for tomorrow, I printed this copy for you to look at so you can dress accordingly.” Julie slid the manilla folder over to Didi, locking her fingers together as she looked at her expectantly. She hopped her bouncing foot wasn't noticeable. Didi blinked once, nodded, her mouth opening and closing for a moment as she flipped open the folder.
Paragraphs of text with highlighted words and sentences were accompanied by photographs and post-it notes on each page, timestamps underneath activities laid out neatly in columns. It was impressive—and a bit overwhelming. Just like Julie.
“You… Have an itinerary sheet… For our first date?” Didi trailed off, trying to give her question a neutral, inquisitive tone rather than a judgey one. It wasn't weird. Okay no, it was a teeny tiny bit weird. But cute weird. Julie’s eyes seemed to flick through a quick game of mental chess as she tried to decipher said tone before nodding curtly.
“Yes… Is that… Not normal to have?” She followed her affirmation with a question of her own and Didi found herself smiling fondly at her squinted stare. What a weirdo.
“How about we,” Didi closed the folder gently, watching Julie’s jaw tense, “wing it?” She knows the words alone make Julie squirm uncomfortably but planning the whole thing was a bit too rigid for her.
“What?” Julies clears her throat and messes with a strand of her behind her ear, her eyes flicking between her perfectly planned afternoon and Didi’s cheeky smile.
“We go out, have our coffee and just see what happens after.” Didi flexes her fingers wide as she shrugs, picturing a lazy stroll with some window shopping or spontaneous adventure somewhere if that’s how it so happened. Julie was not at all envisioning the same thing.
“Uh, let me see, how about—no?” Julie pulled the folder back to herself and flipped it open again, readjusting herself in her chair as she scanned over the activities with a fierce eye. Maybe the ferry ride was over the top, or the gallery could be boring, or maybe they were all boring—No, stop. She was overthinking it, again.
“I mean this is a perfect date,” she gestured, looking back to Didi as if she couldn’t possibly fathom wanting to go with the flow naturally and not following a strict plan. A very good plan. Didi wasn’t that surprised. But she was sure she could get her to budge a bit.
She leaned over the desk, Julie’s eyes glued to her face as it came closer while Didi looked over the itinerary again.
“How about a compromise then?” Didi offered, looking up to find Julie’s face had gravitated closer.
“I’m listening.” Julie said after a brief pause, the stretch of prolonged eye contact was enough to tell Didi she was going to have at least half her way. Half of what she wants and half of what Julie wants; not a bad deal.
“We hit some of these spots but not on a time schedule, we get to them when we get to them.”
“I have a meeting—” Julie paused as Didi raised a brow and sat back in her seat, “which I can reschedule. Yes. I can do that.” Julie straightened in her chair as well and nodded to herself. Her mum's advice echoing in the bqck of her head as she chewed on the inside of her cheek; she had to be open. Open to change, open to push and pull, open.
“Okay, I suppose, the timestamps were maybe, possibly, a bit overkill.” She drummed her fingers on the desk and Didi nodded, scrunching her face up as she held her forefinger and thumb up millimeters apart.
“Just a bit.” She chuckled and Julie cracked a smile of her own.
“Alright fine, as long as we can follow my itinerary for the most part i’m… Happy.”
“And it’ll be okay if we don’t get to everything, or get sidetracked?” Didi tilted her head as she studied Julie closely.
Julie seemed pained at the idea but nodded despite it.
“Yep. Yeah. Totally okay, totally cool.”
“Totally.” Didi grinned.
“I’m trying really hard right now okay?” Julie let her exasperation slip a bit as she raised her hands and dropped them back to the desk. According to her record she was being extremely accommodating right now actually.
“I know, and I appreciate it.” Did grabbed one of Julie's outstretched hands and smiled, her eyes crinkling at the corners and her dimples captivating Julie thoroughly. Both their hands lingered there, a gentle touch that reassured fraying nerves.
“So i’ll pick you up at eleven?” Julie asked, voice breathier than she had planned, which had been not at all. Didi delighted in it and nodded.
“Eleven.” She stood, letting go of Julie’s hand and the warmth was missed by both in an instant. Julie watched as she took the itinerary and walked to the door, bag slung over her shoulder and hair bouncing with each step.
“See you tomorrow froggy.” Didi teased, the beloathed nickname ruining the mood yet somehow Julie couldn’t snap about it; she was only able to nod and offer a stiff wave as her heart beat against her ribs like a bull in a small pen.
“Crap.” She whispered as soon as the door shut, the quiet of her office doing nothing for her racing mind. She was fucked. And for once, she wasn’t upset about it.
Freaking out, yes, but not upset.
End note: Hello and thank you for reading!! I wanted to try my hand at writing Didi and Julie interacting, I loved their dynamic and chemistry in the show and hopefully I captured a bit of it here! If I find the drive I may write a part two of the actual date, I imagine it will be a hot mess <3
I got back into reading physical/published books last year and I found some of them thanks to review lists here on tumblr so; I wanted to share three books I read last year that have trans protagonists!
1. A Lady For A Duke by Alexis Hall
A Lady For A Duke is a historical romance novel that follows Viola Carroll, a trans woman who got the chance to live life as herself after being presumed dead after the battle of Waterloo. The price of her freedom is the loss of her wealth, title and childhood friend Justin Gracewood. In the wake of her return home she discovers how deeply her absence affected Gracewood, finding him a shell of the man he used to be, struggling with addiction to stave off his grief and PTSD. As Viola tries to help her old friend return to himself old feelings with new names reaurface and she's forced once again to face the possibility of losing everything all over again.
Reading this book had me on the edge of my seat, kicking my feet and covering my face at times and clutching my pillow with anxiety and holding my breath at others. It's an emotional journey from start to finish and the individual character development as well as the different relationships present is so well done. The writing flows so well from one scene to the next and the author does an amazing job with Viola's internal conflicts and the handling of everything in relation to the time period. I closed this book feeling attached to more than one character and overall extremely satisfied with the conclusion, as a transmasc enby I get overjoyed reading any book with trans joy and I adore Viola with my entire soul.
Characters: 5/5
Plot: 5/5
Worldbuilding: 3/5
Pacing: 5/5
Enjoyability: 5/5
2. The Spirit Bares Its Teeth by Andrew Joseph White
The Spirit Bares Its Teeth is a historical fantasy horror novel set in London in 1883, following sixteen-year-old Silas Bell, a trans, autistic boy with violet eyes that mark him as a medium capable of communing with spirits under the watchful eye of the Royal Speaker Society. Silas resists the societal expectation that he become an obedient Speaker wife and attempts to escape an arranged marriage by stealing another boy's identity, but he is caught and sent to Braxton’s Finishing School and Sanatorium, where he is subjected to abuse and mistreatment. The school is a place where students are either molded into eligible wives or disappear, and when the ghosts of missing students begin to seek Silas's help, he uncovers the dark secrets of the institution
This book had me on the edge of my seat and biting my nails the whole way through, it is gripping and anxiety inducing and more than once I cried for and alongside the characters. Silas is a compelling protagonist and as a fellow trans person I resonated heavily with him, so reading through everything he was going through was an emotional punch after punch; you definitely have to be in a good headspace to read this as a transman/transmasc. There are happy moments sprinkled within the horror of the entire situation and I clung to them just as much as Silas did, they offered breathing room that is well needed. This is my first time reading medically leaning body horror and it was incredible, the imagery is masterful and it made me just as squeamish as it set out to. This one is a must read, I plan to reread it after I'm done with the author's other books.
Characters: 5/5
Plot: 5/5
Worldbuilding: 4/5
Pacing: 5/5
Enjoyability: 5/5
4. Ardently Yours by Gabe Cole Novoa
Ardently Yours is a Pride & Prejudice Remix that follows Oliver Bennet, the second eldest Bennet child, a young trans man struggling with hiding his identity and the constant pressure from his mother and the rest of society that expects him to play the part of Elizabeth Bennet. He is constantly masquerading in dresses and only ever feels truly free when he is able to sneak away dressed in proper gentleman attire. During one of his secret excursions he runs into Mr Darcy, who had been particularly rude to him when he was presenting as Elizabeth, he expects him to be just as disagreeable but quickly finds that away from the peering public eye Mr Darcy is very kind and warm hearted. As tension grows at home and Oliver spends more time as himself, he has to soon decide if he's willing to settle and be miserable for the rest of his life or be himself and follow his dreams for his future.
After reading Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice and then jumping into this Remix not long after I can say I was quite pleased with this rendition. I will admit I was biased as a transmasc with a huge crush on Mr Darcy, this book was a giant wish fuffilment with the fluff and happy ending I would expect in a fix-it fanfiction. Some events were changed or removed to properly fit the new plot of this book and it's done so pretty effectively, some things did leave me missing the depth and back and forth between Darcy and Elizabeth in the original though. Oliver and Darcy have a more positive relationship through the book due to them meeting and spending time together while Oliver is presenting as himself and I did love this but I would have loved to see Oliver be more 'prejudiced' as Elizabeth was in the original and be less lenient. It all feels a bit too easy and the conflict that is there didn't feel like an actual barrier to the happy ending. I did cry near the end of the book and I would recommend it for any transmascs into fluffy historical romance.
(Been listening to Yaelokre and thinking about family dynamics and.... yeah <3)
"But, how did you find us, father?" She chirped, owlish eyes picking apart each scratch and dried flake of blood on his tanned, speckled face.
He held them closer still and laughed from his belly; hoarse and wild, before burying his face into their hair and their furs, breathing them in deep like they often had done over bubbling pots of their favourite stews.
"A father always knows where his little ones are darling heart, you're here," He presses her small hand to his dirty, thrumming chest, a jackrabbit trying to escape his ribcage, "I follow my heart and it will lead me to you always." His tears stain their cheeks, and his hands brush and fret over their hair and shoulders and tear sodden faces with the loving touches of a mother hen.
(inspired by. me accidently killing spider.. I'm so sorry)
It had been just a flicker, a sliver of neon in the kaleidoscope of life and death. It was never going to last, but it snuffed out too early; a thoughtless brush of the knuckles, and it swept away into grey matter. A smudge on the fabric of reality, a tiny ink blot on the long history of this tiny world.
It had not been malicious. No ill intent shuddered under the weight of incomprehensible fingertips. Just misunderstanding, unaware of their own enormity. The fragility of the speck could not have been predicted by something so alien and above. It had crushed many lights under it's thumb but there had been knowledge. They had been predetermined. Justified.
This was thoughtless.
An accident.
A shocking, gut-churning mistake.
But more lights swayed and continued down their short wicks, unaware of their fallen. And so it would repeat.
Currently obsessing over the idea of a sleeper build gn!Deputy with either the seeds or the hope county folks! I'm talking someone how can absolutely chuck a Peggy across a room like Vi did Savika while looking nowhere near strong enough to pull it off
Okay but now you're going to make me obsess over this; across the board you're getting an overwhelming response of shock and surprise, everyone is stopping in their tracks when they see you really show off your pure strength and resilience.
Sharky, Hurk and Nick would hoot and holler the first time they really see you in action; turning into your own personal hype team anytime they tag along with you.
The first time you launch a Peggie over a truck and take down three guys with nothing but your hands Sharky is all but swooning and shaking your shoulders, asking why you were holding out on all of them. Hurk falls over in his attempt to avoid getting hit by a VIP Peggie who got boomeranged using their own bat and he calls you some obscure superhero that just has you laughing and shrugging it off. Nick sees it from his plane and as soon as he lands he’s clapping you on the back and begging you to teach him how to do that.
The three of them boast about you being a badass, way less wimpy superman to whoever will lend an ear and no doubt it does boost your reputation within the County rather quickly; not that everyone believes them.
Mary May and Jerome are more than caught off guard, when you came rocking into Falls End to free them they’re expecting you to slink around and do things quietly due to your size but as soon as you lift a Peggie twice your size in one smooth motion they let go of all the preconceptions about you. They shower you with gratitude and get more than over-eager to sign you up for all sorts of missions across Holland Valley; to say they have confidence in your abilities after that display would be an understatement.
John and Faith brush it off as the three stooges spouting their regular nonsense while Joseph and Jacob are a bit more weary. Jacob saw quite a few small, feeble looking soldiers holding their own weight and using the enemy underestimating them to their advantage; he would never make that mistake. Joseph had a gut feeling you were more than you appeared, so he kept an open mind to the rumours of your strength being true.
When John first sees you in action it’s when you’re causing chaos in his bunker, instead of trying to escape you delved deeper and deeper after him and Joey; hellbent on freeing your colleague. John had never felt like a cornered animal in quite the same way he had when he saw you toss his chosen like they were sacks of sand; he was only thankful the reinforced steel doors where enough to keep you at bay. He obviously relayed the information to his siblings, which allowed them to be a bit more prepared for their own encounters with you.
Jacob was impressed and intrigued, he wanted to see you in action and he didn’t have to wait long. A few missteps had you at St Francis in no time and watching you tear through his trials like a starving wolf in a chicken coop was something to behold, there was really something artful about it. You even almost got to him, charging through three of his men like they were a flimsy fence made up of matchsticks. But while you had strength that didn’t do much to stop Bliss bullets putting you down.
Faith's encounter with you was not quite so violent or harrowing, for either of you. She had her own trials for you, tests to ensure you were worthy. While disappointed by how feverishly you clung to the past and your vices, unwilling to fall into her guiding hands she couldn’t deny she admired the way your unassuming figure twisted and flexed as you ploughed through her angels. It made her itch to get you under control, placating such a powerful person would not only impress the father but give her yet another step up the food chain.
Joseph is outwardly unmoved by your shows of strength, the crease in his brow the only indication he was affected. He could see you knew how to use all your available skills to your advantage and throwing people off guard by being unassuming was one of the most dangerous. Seeing how ferociously you defended the people who put you up on a pedestal was terrifying, but also inspiring. It wasn’t long after his mind filled with visions of you using that ferocity for his family instead of against it, you would be invaluable—but he couldn’t tell if that was a path you’d ever tred.
Your muscles were sore and ached, each shuffled crouch run and ducking down onto your bruised knees made you wince. Any more of this crap and you were gonna go down one day and not get up again, the thought was gloomy and hung over you every time you woke up. This was life for you right now and you just had to deal with it. You sucked in a deep breath through your nose before pushing yourself up, racing through a narrow alley and ducking behind some barell's. Your knees dug into the dirt, sweaty and bare shoulder leaning into the cool, rusted metal. You clutched the shovel you'd found in one of the dingy store rooms in your hand and peaked around just enough to see three Peggies frantically searching for you.
One was coming towards you, one heading up stone steps into the small warehouse while the other was shouting down their radio and holding their machine gun steady at their side. You duck back and wait with baited breath as you listen to the Peggie approach, once he passes you it takes only a few seconds to leap up, tuck your shovel against his neck and wrench him to the ground. You hold either side if the shovel as he crashes into you chest, you hold the pressure on his windpipe as he lashes around, dropping his gun as he tries to wrench the shovel away—it's no use of course. You can feel your muscles working hard but not as hard as you can push them, it's almost too easy to overpower the guy and in a minute or two he falls limp against you.
It's almost like pushing off a blanket as you roll his body off of you and gather yourself again behind the barell's, trying to peek through them and see if the other Peggie has moved at all. Your scuffle apparently went unheard but they latch their radio back onto the belt and start heading towards a ladder to the roof, that sort of advantage would be inconvenient at best and you make a split decision to get up from your hiding spot. You go wide, giving you enough time in their blindspot to gain enough distance to be hitting their legs out from under them before they have enough time to pull their gun on you.
On their way down however their fingers tighten over the trigger and bullets fly, clipping your hair and getting close enough to your ear that you hear ringing as you knock their gun out of their hand land a dizzying blow to their nose. Their disorientation let's you get a few free hits in, just enough to incapacitate them and take them out of the race for this fight. You hear boots crunching in the dirt and you turn just in time to see the butt of the gun above you before it cracks down against your cheekbone. You fall into the Pegfie under you and groan in pain, the nerves in your face exploding unpleasantly.
You raise a hand and grab a fistful of the Peggies shirt, pulling your back into their knees and aimlessly clawing your other hand in their air until it could also find purchase in some fabric. The Peggie laughed, amused by what she mistook as disoriented and pitiful attempts to block her attack, but it was soon cut short as you dug your heels into the dirt and used your body to lift her off the ground and toss her over your head. She yelped and cried out as her body crumpled into the ground, sliding and knocking into a tree with a loud thumb. She groaned as she hit the ground, pulling herself up and looking at you with a mix of anger and fear.
She hadn't been expecting that and was obviously off-put by your apparent strength but just like you she wasn't in this fight to be the one to go down and she collected herself as you did. Both of you down to your fists as you got to your feet, as she raced forward, you waited and watched. Dodging to the left you brought your leg up and dug your knee into her stomach, her body curling around it like a speeding car wrapping around a pole. You push her back and land a punch to her chest and then her cheek, trying not to give her time to recover as you hammer into her. She lands a messy punch to your jaw but it doesn't have enough weight to stop you.
You swivel, grabbing her arm and pulling the same trick to launch her and toss her into the ground. Your body can feel the strain from tossing another human around, her weight straining your tendons and tiring you out. But the second knock to the ground followed by a knock-out worthy punch was enough to put her down for good. You panted, throat scratchy and coarse as you kneeled over the bloody face below you. God, you could not wait until you never had to do this again, you were tired of this. All of it.
But hey, there was one more outpost down. Ain't that nice?
Faith didn't particularly think so, staring down the monitor at your blurry and bloody visage as you limped to meet the Hope County citizens rushing towards you with joy on their faces. They were hopeless and misled. They rejoiced when they should have been weeping, what you did wasn't justice—it wasn't freedom. It was just making a big mess of things, especially for her. She chewed on her nails as she counted off her outposts you'd taken over now, at this rate Joseph would… Well, there was no knowing what he'd do. Faith frowned, but her eyes lingered on the bodies you left beaten into the ground.
For such an unassuming little thing, you'd really done a number on them, she'd never seen someone toss another human like a ragdoll before. She had a feeling Jacob would be thrilled to hear about it, not that she really felt like telling him. She zeroed in on your face again, exhausted and obviously only accepting the praise out of obligation. You were proving to be more than she thought, so much stronger than any of them had thought you possibly could be. You were dangerous, and she wanted to pick you apart and put you back together—if she could only figure out how. Getting you under her thumb would wipe the slate clean, no more disapproving scowls and dark glares would be tossed her way during their family meetings.
She made up her mind. It was time for another visit, if she couldn't get through to you this time, then she would just have to get rid of you.
Notes: Check out Part One, Two, Three, Four and Five! We made it to the final part, huzzah! Thanks for comin' along on this ride with me, hope you had fun, I sure did! 😊💜
Warning/s: Canon Typical behaviour, explicit language, mending relationships, gross abomination of a burger
Words: 4k
Despite all the progress, all the steps in the right direction and the confidence from what Wade said today—you were scared. You didn't want to be torn apart again on the off chance you had put on a different pair of rose coloured glasses and were making it all up in your head. You wanted to trust Wade, you wanted him back in the apartment, you wanted to wake up to him and kiss him and make breakfast while he sang along to whatever pop song was on the radio. You wanted Wade. You wanted him so badly you could barely focus at work, when he stopped by it was like the moon eclipsing the sun and he was all you could see and hear and smell and—Fuck.
You loved him so damn much.
And you couldn't even try to say he didn't love you, it wasn't six months ago where you were on the tail end of that nasty breakup and everything had finally started levelling out now. You couldn't hide behind insecure, angry hypotheticals. Wade loved you, he wouldn't be standing beside you in normal clothes without his safety net on underneath if he didn't. Wouldn't be showing up to every session an hour early and still bringing you groceries when you could perfectly well buy your own.
There was a free fall ahead of you, a deep dive you needed to commit to for this to be a two way street of really trying. Wade had put all of himself on the table and now it was your turn. You just had to jump.
"Are you hungry? I'm starving." Wade, seemingly growing itchy from the growing silence in the long elevator ride, mused out into the air, "Lenny's got a new burger, apparently Weasel got to design it so it should be fuckin' terrible." He grinned and you snorted, a warmth filling you as you finally got to know and understand those names completely. You'd been able to step into that side of his world and meet a whole lot of people who had been nothing but blurry shapes, names and stories before. Lenny was an ex-merc now running a burger-bar joint and it was actually damn good.
And Weasel was what Wade could call a friend, as close as he was getting in his line of work—you'd met him a couple of times now and he wasn't all that bad. Kinda rude, a little lame; perfect fit for Wade.
"I could go for a burger." You hummed, stepping out of the elevator when you reached the ground floor. Wade fell into step beside you and for a moment you could feel his hand hover at the small of your back; there had been so many almost touches now it was driving you crazy. You almost wanted to stop so you'd fall into his hand, feel his bare palm through the fabric of your clothes. But you kept going and tried not to be disappointed when his hand ended up in his pocket again. Time, you just needed time.
Wade stepped ahead of you when you got to the door, making a show of pulling it open for you and bowing playfully. Your heart swelled and you rolled your eyes, walking past and thanking him as your feet made contact with the concrete walkway. The street bustled before you and something felt different about the air, maybe it was just you. Everything felt a bit lighter now, even more so than before. Who knew being open and honest felt so damn freeing.
Wade led you down a few main streets then into the usual back streets you'd slowly gotten accustomed to; it had gotten easier going past alleyways. Despite every shadow or movement causing you to stiffen, you had Wade there to remind you nothing was going to touch you with him by your side. He was back to being your unfriendly, neighbourhood shadow and you'd be lying if you said it didn't make you feel a whole lot safer. And a whole lot less lonely.
"Lenny, two of the Weasel specials, my good slime!" Wade called out as you two entered the small tucked away bar, the industrial interior and neon lights setting a cosy yet sleazy atmosphere. Lenny turned to greet you, ignoring Wade completely as he wiped down the bar.
"Nice to see you back, how ya been?" He smiled and Wade gripped the back of a chair with a haughty huff; pulling it out for you. Just a Wade thing he did no matter where you were. He'd tried to pull the couch out for you once or twice, being on it as he pushed it back had always led to a burst of giggles from the both of you. You missed how extra he was about everything, even when you were alone. It was always just for you, all for you.
"You too Len, been doin' pretty damn good honestly, you?" You sit down with an easy smile, leaning back and noting the way Wade's fingers skirted against your shoulders.
"Len? Since when is it fuckin' Len?" Wade muttered, pushing you in and pulling the other seat right up to your side, sitting in a smooth motion and tucking his chair even closer still. Your knees knocked together, neither of you moved them. Your eyes met, you glanced down at the table, his blue eyes doing far too much to your poor heart right now.
"Had better days, got Weasel's burger on the menu for one thing."
"It's a good fuckin' burger, the people love it!" Another voice joins the ring and you all turn to the bathroom door as it slams open, Weasel marching out and strutting to the bar with a quick greeting and pleasant smile shot your way. It was nice, feeling so welcome in a place Wade probably felt more at home in than anywhere you'd take him usually. The bar's patrons were a mix of mutants and humans, mercenaries and people with work more aligned with your realm of reality. It was crazy how normal it felt and how nicely you found yourself fitting in.
Lenny waves Weasel off and walks back into the kitchen, shouting to give him a bit and your burgers would be out in no time.
"I gotta say the customer service leaves a lot to be desired, hopefully the burger doesn't kill us." Wade holds his hand up and leans over to you, a conspiratorial tone wasted by the fact he didn't lower his voice any. You feel yourself leaning in closer anyway, pulled in by his gravity like you always had been. A stray planet somehow caught in the tide of a supernova, skirting on the edges of something so beautifully dangerous and not knowing what would happen if you let yourself get fully pulled in.
"It's a—"
"Good burger, heard you before Wease." Wade waved him off dismissively, hand falling to the table between the both of you.
You snorted and Wade's attention was back on you, blue eyes crinkling with a smile and knee bumping into yours again. You let your hand fall, your fingertips brushing against his knuckles and palm resting against the top of his hand. You felt him tense, saw his shoulders go rigid before he eased into it; melting under your touch.
"You know if the burgers shit I can probably make an even better frankenburger with all your favourites."
"That would probably be just as gross Wade," you grin, curling your fingers around his, "I'll take you up on that though. If it's that bad." You mused and you could see the moment his eyes lit up, glee shining back at you.
"It's Weasel. It's gonna be ass."
"Man, I'm right here."
"Don't care, talking to the love of my life, go back to your toilet dwelling or something." Wade tried to shoo the brunette away and you quickly slapped his other hand down.
"Oh my god, Wade,"
"What, he never gets this many lines," Wade grumbled, but his gaze fell to your hands now both resting on top of his, losing interest in the previous topic quickly.
"Okay well how about we just stop shitting on his burger and talk about something else." You suggest, trying to save some of Weasel's feelings as you rested your elbow on the table, tucking your cheek onto your palm as you watch Wade's eyes which seem to follow your hand as if hypnotised.
"Fine." He paused, seemingly thinking it over in his head, "Al put leeches in my bed yesterday."
"What did you do?"
"I forgot—Honestly it felt kinda nice, so I was just gonna let 'em hang around, but they dropped off after a while. The milkshake of cancer and whatever else is in my bloodstream didn't vibe with their lil stomachs." Wade shook his head as he recounted the tale, pinching his index finger and thumb together to emphasise the size difference.
"That is so gross and so sad," You tried your best not to laugh as Wade nodded somewhat solemnly. Wade sighed and looked up at the ceiling above you.
"I held a toilet funeral for them, it was very moving." He held his free hand to his chest and you wholeheartedly believed him. If anyone would hold a funeral for leaches it would be Wade.
You couldn't keep it in, you laughed, your head falling forward to meet Wade's shoulder as your own shook. The mental image of him on his knees in front of the toilet, saying a few words for each leech as he flushed them was too much. Wade giggled along with you and when you looked up at him you felt your heart drumming like a racehorse's hooves against the race track. You took in a breath and tried to keep a clear head but it was near impossible.
A thought fluttered by like a stray butterfly, enticing you to follow it as it swirled around Wade's head.
"I was thinking," you muttered, voice quieter than you meant and you almost lost your nerve as he leant in to hear you, "maybe, uhm." You felt a lump in your throat at the mere thought of what you wanted to say. Which was the concept of him moving back in. Al had let you know she was not happy with the current arrangement and kept asking when you were taking him back and you'd been putting it off. You didn't want anything messing up the progress you two were making and didn't want any chance of falling into old habits.
But damn, did you want him back home.
"You got me on the edge of my seat here babe, cliffhangers are for books and marvel movies." Wade tried to coax the words out of you and you found yourself leaning back, shaking your head with a small chuckle.
"Maybe you and Al need a mediator, those pranks are getting outta hand."
"Right," He stares at you for a moment before leaning closer, "is that really what you were gonna sa—"
"Order up love birds, the Weasel special." Lenny interrupted just in time to help you avoid the reality that no, it wasn't what you were going to say and you were too chicken shit to face it right now. Wade scowled up at the other man, who just offered a confused, disgruntled glare back.
The burgers were a good distraction, they looked entirely inedible. Three layers of beef patty, orange oozing cheese and tofu, a thick layer of pickles right on top with beetroot, lettuce, onions, chives, bacon, a thick slice of pineapple and some mysterious white sauce with other ingredients you couldn't quite make out sitting between two thick buns. You had no idea how you were getting your mouth around even a chunk of it.
"First you put pineapple on pizza and now this." Wade tossed an accusing finger at Weasel who simply shot him the finger in return.
"You try and tell me if it's good, fuck his opinion." Weasel turned to you, expectantly waiting as Wade scoffed and took the burger in his hands. Somehow in his large hands it almost looked like a normal sized burger, you on the other hand couldn't even figure out how to pick it up. You shrugged and did your best, tucking your fingers around it the best you could and getting it an inch off the plate. Wade took the messiest bite you'd ever seen, half the burger exploding out onto the plate and sauce covering the bottom of his face. You held in your laughter and attempted to take your own bite. You got some patty, cheese, pickle and lettuce.
That alone tasted like a pretty normal burger. When the rest of it came together in your next bite however it was a whole lot of tastes competing in your mouth and you weren't sure if it was good, fine or downright nasty. You glanced at Wade, seeing he was already looking back at you; both of your mouths stuffed full and expressions mirroring each other. It was bad. You swallowed and Wade did the same, however while you paused he shrugged and went in for another bite. You didn't know how he did it.
"So?" Weasel pressed and you rolled your lips into a tight line. You could tell the truth or you could do the easier thing and lie through your teeth. You mulled it over for a second, before slowly nodding to yourself.
"It tastes like… When you first move out on your own and have to cook for yourself for the first time with like—three groceries and some leftovers."
Wade choked on the food in his mouth as a laugh tried to fight its way out of his throat and Lenny snorted from behind the bar. You smiled apologetically at Weasel as he pouted, sinking into his seat dejectedly. You could have been way more harsh, especially as the after-taste hit your taste buds. You tensed your jaw and rolled your lips into a straight line, setting the burger down and wiping your hands on a napkin. You figured it'd be a waste to ditch the whole burger so you picked off the worst offenders and left a mostly normal burger on your plate.
It was huge even still and you made it through half of it before you had to call it quits. Lenny brought you over a takeaway container and muttered something about Weasel making him waste product, you couldn't see the Weasel special lasting much longer. Wade finished off his burger and messily wiped the sauce off his face with a bunch of napkins, still managing to miss some on the edge of his jaw. Your hand moved before you even process it, your thumb swiping it off of his skin and moving back to your own mouth. It wasn't until you'd licked it off did you actually realise what you did—that and Wade staring back at you with a look in his eye that was familiar and foreign all at once.
You'd felt it plenty. It was another thing to see it.
"Uhm—sorry," You laughed and it seemed to break Wade's trance and he shook his head.
"Did'ja get it all?" He made a show of turning his head and you made an equal show and inspecting every inch of his face.
"Mhm, sauce free. You're good." You make an 'okay' sign with your hand and he grins, bowing playfully in his seat.
"Why thank you, wouldn't want to walk down the street with kids pointing and calling me Mr.Mustard." He tosses the napkins down onto his plate, making a bold assumption any percent of that sauce was mustard.
"Yeah that would suck—for you, I think that'd be funny as hell." You grin, enjoying the feeling of being able to joke around with him again. It felt different but in a good way, you weren't afraid one of your jokes would maybe hit an invisible nerve you had no warning of. No fear of him throwing any nasty ones back in defense. It was wierd, being past that, knowing it most likely wouldn't come back again at least not for a while and not without a lot of genuine apologies afterwards.
"Oh, I see how it is—I'll remember that buddy."
It was nice to see him grin and welcome it, knowing he was probably thinking the same thing as you.
You sat in the bar for about a half an hour, Wade intermittently teasing Weasel about his burger while Lenny tried to get you to design a burger of your own. He'd name it after you and everything. You could just feel Wade getting huffy anytime Lenny was talking to you, he wasn't one for jealousy but possessiveness had always been something he struggled with. You were surprised and proud however, he wasn't insulting Lenny or threatening him for his pleasant banter with you or anything. Just resting his arm over the back of your chair and leaning closer to make sure everyone saw who you were there with and maybe remind himself too.
And just for extra measure you leant back into him to remind him you were there for him, no one else. He'd smiled and you'd felt him relax against you, his chest heaving out a breath and his eyes skirting across your face with a gentle look in his eye.
After a while you relented to design a burger, your favourite with some home-brew flare that made Lenny pause before shrugging—Couldn't be worse than Weasel's abomination is all he said. At that Wade shifted and you glanced up at him, he rested his chin on your shoulder and you felt so tempted to twist around and kiss his temple, his jaw, his cheek—his lips. But you didn't.
"Can I walk you home?" He asked and you blinked, trying to listen to the question while wishes and wants danced behind your eyes.
"You'd follow me anyway so why not," You tossed out, smiling as he looked at you with wide, fake innocent eyes.
"Don't know what you're talking about sweetness, but cool. You ready to bounce?" You rolled your eyes at the choice of pet name but nodded, leaning away and pushing your chair out. Wade followed suit, shooting the fellas a lazy goodbye as he walked to the door. They offered their own goodbyes, mainly in your direction as you waved back at them. Wade held the door open for you again and this time as you walked out his hand rested against the small of your back.
It felt right.
You made your way back the way you came, taking a left instead of a right at the main street in the direction of your place. Your hands brushed past each other multiple times as you walked, and after a block you got fed up and just grabbed his. He giggled at the look on your face when you did it and you tried to fight your own smile as you told him to shut it. When you made it to your building you both slowed to a stop.
"So."
"So." You both laughed, an unusual awkwardness between you as you stagnated outside your building. You wanted to invite him in, you wanted to do so many things. Looking at him made you think he was holding back a few things of his own.
"I saw there's this new shitty movie that came out the other week, it looks like a trainwreck," Wade scratched the back of his neck idly as he pretended to inspect the architecture of the building beside you, "Thought maybe we could watch it together." He suggested, gaze flicking back to you. You nodded, not even needing the title or the plot—it didn't matter.
"Yeah i'd love to, is it like, a theatre kinda movie or a couch movie?" You asked and Wade seemed to pause, mulling it over as he watched you.
"Couch movie. Definitely gonna need snacks and popcorn to throw at the TV." He wagged his finger in the air and you rolled your eyes with a chuckle.
"Naturally," You took a step closer to the front doors before turning back to him. It was as good an excuse as any and you really didn't want to say goodbye just yet.
"We could do that now if you're free?" You barely finished your sentence before he was right next to you again, hand back in yours and leading you inside the building at breakneck speed.
"For you? I'm always free." Wade dragged you to the elevator, waving to Rich as you passed by reception. The other man offered an awkward wave back and you didn't have time to think about it as Wade bundled you inside the elevator, you laughed at his eagerness and how giddy he seemed to be pressing the button up to your floor. He told you a bit about the movie as you felt yourself going up, some kind of comedy horror that was filled with B-list actors and the trailers promised terrible writing and innuendoes. It sounded awful and you were looking forward to making fun of it for an hour.
You got into your apartment, stopping to watch as Wade strode in and started prepping. He knew where everything was, he picked out your movie blanket, got the popcorn and snacks from the snack drawer. Watching him take up space so easily and glide around the apartment made you feel fuzzy and melancholic. You missed just watching his large form dwarf your things and now getting to see more than just a red and black suit—It really felt like he was fully here with you. Present and not hiding or pretending in any way.
It was just Wade and it was just you.
It felt good.
You decided to whip up some drinks as Wade found the movie, finishing up once he'd slipped into the kitchenette with you excitedly announcing it was ready to go. He was right behind you and had planted his hands on the counter on either side of you, heat radiating off of his chest as you bumped back into him. He didn't move and he was inspecting the drinks as you turned halfway to face him, his mask, hat and hood all gone and leaving his face completely out in the open. Your eyes traced every inch, your fingertips wanted to run along his jaw—wanted to touch him in any way you could.
When he looked back at you, you felt yourself giving way under his gaze. This was so ridiculous.
"I think—Do you want to move back in?"
The words tumbled out before you could stop yourself and frankly, you didn't want to. It'd had been damn long enough and you wanted him back home.
"My answer is my bags are packed, let's get some celebration pizza, fuck yes, but—and this is the counsellor talking—are you sure? Are we… Are we good?" Wade didn't miss a beat and he looked ready to knock you over in excitement. The shining in his eyes and unrest of his body as he tried to keep himself a respectable distance was incredibly endearing in the moment. Normally he'd just sweep you off your feet and not think about it, he heard what he wanted and typically that'd be all he needed. But he was asking you, checking in, caring about what you were ready for.
It just made you all the more sure it was time.
"I think we're almost there, I think this is the next step. I'm ready if you are." You reach out and Wade's hands find yours instantly, wrapping around them and pulling you forward. Your foreheads knocked together and you both laugh, giddy and excited about what this meant. Wade's eyes flickered down and you really wanted him to kiss you, but you weren't gonna push it. You'd both get there again in no time, every torn seam was slowly threading back into place and the hurt was so low down you could barely focus on it past this feeling right now. The closeness with the one man that had truly gotten under your skin in the best and worst ways, the one who had made you feel a million different things.
The man you loved.
Wade's expression softened into that serene, gentle appreciation and one of his hands slid up to cup your cheek. His thumb traced your cheekbone and you melted against his hand, closing your eyes to just enjoy the moment. You felt Wade's lips press against your forehead, bumps and divots of his skin comforting and electrifying all at once.
"I can take the couch for a while,"
You looked up at him, shaking your head before he even finished his words.
"No you—I want you back in Wade. All the way in." You lift your hands, running them around his waist and diving into his chest to hug him tightly. He doesn't miss a beat, engulfing you in his arms and shielding you from everything around you. You'd missed being held by him like this, you felt like you were in your own bubble and nothing could touch you; nothing else mattered. Home hadn't felt like home in a while for you and this, right here—this felt like home.
Wade was home.
And like hell he was leaving again.
End notes: Sorry for missing last week, my work load has piled up and I didn't want to post a half-assed final part. I might end up writing an epilogue but I'm not making any promises! Thank you again for reading and leaving comments, the support was super appreciated! <3
could you do the hope county folks (whoever you want!) with a gn reader (friends/acquaintances to lovers) who’s really affectionate caring and protective with them but cold distant and indifferent to other people?
This sat in the drafts for a while, I could only manage four before it felt repetitive, but I hope you like them nonetheless!
Sharky is over the moon the first time he notices it, he's never really been super special to anyone before so seeing the distinct way you treat him compared to others makes him all giddy.
At first he's bragging about being your best bud, saying he gets best bud privileges like all your smiles, hugs and fussing over his well being.
He feels like he's won the lottery and he's gonna rub it in everyone's faces for as long as possible.
He may do stupider stunts in front of you because he enjoys it when you dote on him.
He never finds it off-putting when you're being sweet to him one second and cold to others in the next, he thinks of it like a cool superpower.
Over time he starts getting really comfortable with you, he loves spending time with you and joking around with you and all the affection you direct at him always leaves him with a goofy smile.
He figures out he might have more than friends feelings for you after some point.
Of course he doesn't know how to tell you and he figures he can get away with just being your best bud forever, you already treated him special as it was.
But then he starts to notice other people trying to get your attention and he starts wondering about what would happen if he wasn't your sole best bud who you treated so nicely.
And it scared him enough to confess—in his Sharky Boshaw certified way. aka half of a field ended up on fire with your name scorched into the ground and Sharky looking at you with the biggest puppy dog eyes ever.
Of course you didn't leave him hanging and Sharky ends up with double bragging rights of being your boyfriend.
Mary May is flattered by it, confused but flattered.
She figured it was because the company at the bar wasn't your cup of tea but after spending time with you outside of the bar she catches on to it being something a bit more.
She doesn't question it, since she doesn't really know how.
It doesn't really bother her, after a while she barely notices your cold attitude towards others since she's just happy to see you.
If anyone asks she just laughs and says she's just the best company around and you liked her best.
She teases you about it a few times but ultimately doesn't make a huge deal about it.
She enjoys spending time with you and having someone be so caring and protective of her for the first time in a while means a lot to her.
She slowly starts giving back the same amount of care and protectiveness, to the point where if people call you cold she'll go to bat for you about it.
She knows how warm and caring you are and she's not listening to any disrespect.
This leads her down a rabbit hole of slowly falling for you, all your alone time and special attention slowly bubbles into something she can't ignore.
So she sets up a cute little date for the both of you and asks you out, ready to accept either answer but being over the moon when you say yes.
After that people know not to whine about your indifference to them in front of her, because she will ban them from the bar and tell them they just need to work on their personalities.
Jerome is a people person, a proud man of community, so admittedly he is utterly bafflee by how little you care for everyone other than seemingly himself.
At first he's perhaps even put off by it, caught in the considerations of what it could mean without taking it at face value.
He's a grown man so he asks you about it eventually and after your simple and casual explanation he comes to accept it.
He's not one to tell others how to feel after all and despite your coldness to others it wasn't as if you were cruel to them, you weren't hurting anyone and he enjoyed your company.
And if he was honest after the beating the years had done to his pride, being so important to someone was almost needed.
Having your sole attention in a crowd of others was nothing like he'd experienced, even during his sermons, and he began to seek it out.
He enjoyed spending time with you alone, talking for hours about your interests and slipping into some debates here and there.
He felt challenged, appreciated and engaged whenever he was with you and it didn't take long to figure out he had feelings for you.
Figuring out how to go forward was a struggle for him, he hadn't considered being in a relationship for a long time but you sparked the want in him again.
After months of dancing around his feelings and trying to search for answers in prayers he invites you over for dinner to gauge your own feelings.
When it's out in the open you both feel the same the only thing left to do is accept it; so he laughs at how stupid he was being and asks you if he can take you on a proper dinner date.
He never truly understands your cold attitude towards people but he easily balances it out with his warmth and other people soon see you as a pair that cannot and should not be separated.
Faith seeing you be cold and indifferent to others the first time was like a dopamine hit, the cogs in her brain turned as a delighted smile spread across her face.
Realising all your affection, sweet smiles and joking words were solely reserved for her, made something in her do backflips.
She was hooked.
In a way she was somewhat similar, her sweetness to others was part of her darling act after all.
And perhaps it was an act towards you at first as well, but after seeing you go from apathetic to beaming upon seeing her she quickly changed her tune.
She reserved the genuine side of her just for you, the good and the bad.
She confided in you, trusted you like no one else and in turn you did the same.
She felt seen again, you made her feel real and like someone worth admiring.
Of course, as all addictions go she became antsy when she couldn't be with you, couldn't have your warmth showering over her.
She realised over the course of your friendship that she couldn't stand the thought of that warmth being directed at someone else.
Of losing you and having your smiles and secret whispers lost to someone who didn't deserve you.
So she confessed her feelings, promised to make every day more blissful then the next if only you stayed with her.
And you never had any intentions of leaving so of course you say yes.
And thus the project members hail you as their angel's brooding lover and protector, someone to be respected and equally admired despite your indifference to them.
I do like reading ridiculous and silly Wade sometimes! Definitely didn’t mean that in a mean way btw! :)
Just sometimes I’m in the mood for the serious shit ya know? Like uncomfortable and complicated and real human feelings and all that. Bc of his personality in the movies, I feel like there’s not a lot of fics covering more serious topics and more serious overall fics. So I just really appreciate finding a story like that but of course all the love to every single Wade writer out there :)
I totally got you, I just didn't want to sound up myself in my reply and make other writers feel any type of way, you're all good!
And yeah I totally feel that, my main fandom is fc5 so I enjoy real gritty fics that go into the complexity of human emotions and relationships. And I do agree his movie personality has seeped into a lot of his fandom depictions, which isn't a bad thing, but I am in the same boat in how I enjoy the more serious subject matters being explored every now and then! Sometimes you just want to see that merc going through the whole mixed bag of human emotions while trying to make a relationship work around his avalanche of issues.
I really appreciate that you've enjoyed my depiction of him and the story and I do hope other writers venture into more serious Wade stuff since I'd love to see more of it too lol
I love your deadpool story so so much. It’s so amazingly well written and I love the depth you write him with. So many other stories just make him so ridiculous and stupid and I like that you’re showing that side of him too. Absolutely loving this story!
Thank you so much for your kind words!! 💜💜 I've been a Deadpool fan for a long time, so i'm glad I can do him justice in my writing! I love every version of Wade but the comics that really flesh him out and show the darker and sadder parts of his character are important to me and I wanted to portray that so I'm glad people are really enjoying it!! ☺️
I do also wanna give love to people who write Wade stupid and ridiculous though because that was me when I was a teenager, and we all start somewhere, so I hope they have fun writing him being absolutely insane and they continue to flourish and grow in their writing <33
The night had been long, Wade somehow managing to sequester your couch for the night while you curled up in bed. Both of you felt like pure and utter shit, more than once Wade considered crawling into your bed just to hold you again and you fought the stray thoughts of going to join him on the couch. It was frustrating and you tossed and turned until three that morning. You had no intentions of going into work or calling in, luckily for you having your ex be an infamous merc meant they wouldn't fire you over it—they'd met him, they heard about the breakup. If anything they were more likely to file a missing person's report to the police.
Which would actually be annoying so maybe you should call in. You groaned, rolling over and searching for your phone on the nightstand—only to realise those fuckers had taken it. You slapped your hand uselessly against the wood with a whine, face falling back into your pillow as you added up the amount of paychecks it would take to replace it. God dammit. Fuck.
The door to your room squeaked open and you dragged your eyes across the room to spot Wade's baby blue eyes staring back at you, it almost made you jump up—seeing his eyes again. His expression was sullen despite the comical way it poked into your room and you rolled onto your back with a sigh.
"Come in Wade." You waved him in, your arm heavy and sore and you winced, your senses coming back to you enough for you to finally note how all of you was sore. You hadn't taken stock of the scrapes on your body or the rough treatment you'd be given yesterday, they hadn't done much besides tie you to that chair but they'd been anything but gentle getting you there.
Wade skulked in and sat himself on the very end of your bed, strong back to you—still in the suit. Of course. He didn't say anything and neither did you. You didn't know what to say and you figured Wade was in the same boat. Yesterday had been a lot to process. You squeezed your eyes shut and exhaled, all the tiredness from the month finally caught up to you and you felt like a used rag. You'd been cleaned up at the hospital but you still didn't feel clean.
You felt a weight on your lap and lifted your head, recognition flooded you as the thin rectangle caught your eye. Your phone. You glanced at Wade as his hand retreated, his bare face directed at the adjacent wall as you slowly reached down to grab it. It was dead and more than a little scuffed up, a crack now etched into the top right of the screen leading halfway down to the middle. Great. You fumbled with the charger and plugged it in, hoping it worked. Even if it was a bit more janky from here on out you did not want to spend any cash fixing it or getting a new one. If you were gonna spend your money it'd be on a damn vacation, you more than earned one.
You set the phone down on your bedside table to await the reveal of its fate and flopped back, sighing and staring up at the ceiling. Now back to your relationship issues. You rubbed a hand over your eyes, unsure of where to even begin, you felt stuck and you knew there were only two ways this could go. Both would be tough but in one maybe you both had a chance at being kinda happy again.
"Were you serious about the counselling?" You really did fucking miss him and despite yourself you couldn't see any way to get through this without him. Problematic details be damned, you had a lot of worse issues you could deal with in therapy first. You pulled yourself up and watched the back of Wade's head, the visible tissue and missing skin deforming between the rest of his marred skin. His shoulders rose and fell, the indication of a deep and heavy sigh.
"Yeah, don't blame me if it doesn't do nothin' though."
"The only way it doesn't do anything is if you don't try. Are you willing to try for me or not?" At your question Wade turned, facing you and matching your steely gaze with a sincere one, a deep burning flame in his pale eyes you never usually got to see. It kinda sent chills through you, at how serious he looked.
"I'd burn this entire universe to the ground for you," he paused as he took on your expression, "I can do the counselling," His tone smoothed into something genuine, easing up as he leant back. You didn't know what to say at first, your heart was trudging through a dance it usually did so smoothly and you were aching all over. This was a start.
"Now if they start talkin' about us separating for good, I might have a bullet with their name on it—"
"Wade." He could never let the air still for a moment, could he? You cut him off and he smiled, it was an almost easy smile—almost relaxed. He held his hands up in surrender and you bit down your own crooked smile. It felt so similar to how you used to be, just with an overcast of what had happened. An undercurrent of that pain that would be there for a while. But maybe you could get used to it and eventually it'd fade away. You could only hope.
"So uh, does this mean I can move back in?" Wade broke the silence again as he picked at some imaginary lint on your bed, flicking it away as you shook your head. You tried not to give in at the kicked-puppy look that etched into his face when you did.
"Not yet." You murmured, trying to soften the blow. It wasn't forever, just for now, just until you two really sorted this shit out properly. Maturely, if you were capable.
"Okay, but can you tell Al because man has she not been happy to have me back." He leant back and it was almost like you felt him putting back up the wall of comedy to save himself from drowning in—all of this. You wished you could do that as easily as he did, but you were still clawing at the surface with water in your lungs. You did find it within you to chuckle though, the thought of Al having to deal with him crashing in her apartment again was pretty funny. Not for her, Wade was a terrible roommate—before you set up some big boundaries and house rules anyway. And that apparently never worked for her.
"Maybe that's because you replace her sugar with salt and other dumb shit." You mused, pulling an extra pillow behind you so you could prop yourself up and lean back.
"She crushed laxatives into my mayonnaise, it's a free for all in there—she's not as innocent as you think." He wagged his finger at you and you actually laughed, a real laugh. You knew Al wasn't innocent, she was in her seventy's for fuck sake. She was also a riot, you'd seen her beef with Wade and the shit they got up to and it was a great show from the sidelines. Until they dragged you into it, then shit truly became a free for all. Wade didn't follow up to keep making you laugh like he usually did, he stayed quiet and watched you with a kind of smile that twisted your stomach into knots. It was so gentle, as if he was just enjoying taking you all in.
It was maybe too much for you right now.
You covered your mouth and glanced at your phone, seeing the two percent enough for you to pick it up and turn it on. You would deny it being a distraction, you had a good reason.
"I should call my boss so they don't sick a welfare check on me."
"Right. You do that, I'll get breakfast."
"You—Wade I don't—" You struggled, split down the middle with what you wanted and what you were ready for. Having breakfast with Wade would feel like you were just pushing everything under the rug and like you'd said the night before that is not what you wanted. Wade paused and nodded slowly, reading between the lines, your choppy protest and your eyes.
"Good point, I already promised Al waffles so I should get on that." He turned his back on you again and you felt your chest tighten, his tone deflating with each word. He stepped halfway out your door and stopped, turning to face the wall and visions of the night he came to see you dusted over your eyelids.
"Call me, for the uh, counselling thing." He sounded so awkward even talking about it and you could tell this was going to be hard for him. It was going to be hard for you too, that was the whole point. You both had to walk through the well of garbage before you got anywhere close to getting out of the sewers—and as long as he was willing to walk with you, you'd give it your all to make it out the other side.
"I will Wade, see you."
"See you."
When he disappeared from view you listened to his heavy, thudding footsteps and felt your heart matching his pace. It followed him out the front door, catching on the hinges at it shut. You deflated against your pillows, emotionally exhausted as you stared down at your contacts. Your thumb felt like lead as it hit your boss' number and your voice felt flat when they picked up and you gave them a very vague rundown of why you wouldn't be in. To your surprise they gave you a few days off and once you'd hung up you had nothing to do but lay back down and get some more sleep. You could worry about everything else later.
Six months later in fact; you found yourself walking out of your couple counsellors office.
Wade was hot on your heels, his hands stuffed into his sweatpants as he once again fell into step as your faithful shadow. He had a black mask covering the bottom of his face, cap pulled down far enough to hide the top half, and hood pulled over his head to guard the back. It was a whole other mask, the mask of Wade Wilson, and it was one you were getting well acquainted with. Your first session had been fucking awful, Wade did not cope with being counselled—not that either of you expected him to in the first place. He almost made it to the end of the hour before storming out after the counsellor asked some touchy question he felt was stepping over the line.
It wasn't great, but you'd chosen to let it go. It was the first session, and you were equally as uncomfortable answering many of the questions and hypotheticals they posed to you. The second session was a bit easier, the counsellor backing off the topic that had set Wade off and manoeuvring to another part of your relationship you could work on first. The mask. There was a lot of mumbo jumbo and therapy speak about how it was not only keeping him hidden from the world but keeping a wedge between the both of you and yada yada. You'd never considered it that way, it had always just been a part of him—but Wade had taken it to heart so maybe it had some truth to it.
The few times he was at your apartment after that he started taking the mask off, then the whole suit. You'd see him partly naked in the past, of course, but there was always some piece of Deadpool still clinging onto him. The mask, the boots, the gloves—he was never fully exposed. But that had changed. You were nowhere near having sex again, you still had barely touched aside from brushes of the hand and legs bumping into each other on the couch. But your counsellor had suggested small acts of intimacy, focusing on the emotional connection with nothing sexual to any of it. Wade had fussed about it and you hadn't been sure if it was another defence or if he genuinely had never considered non-sexual intimacy but you hadn't dwelled on it.
For your sanity and the hope of your relationship, you needed to let a lot of things go.
All of this led you to a few nights ago where you'd invited Wade to shower, no innuendoes, no wandering hands on his part—just a shower to get clean and be close. Your heart had been thudding in your ears when you asked, and the way he'd stared at you had made you want to take it back, but he agreed just before you did. And you were glad he did. It was the first time there had been nothing between you, just bare skin and steam from the shower. He was beautiful, all of him, all the jagged scars and bumps and divots—the contours of his muscles and shape of his jaw and width of his hands—okay so he'd touched you once. Just his hands on your biceps as you gently lathered him in soap suds, you hated that they'd been shaking and that you had tears in your eyes as your fingertips traced over his torso.
You thought you and Wade had been close before, you were inseperable and always touching—but that shower had been something else and it had taken everything in you not to kiss him and tell him you loved him a million times over. Afterwards you'd actually almost cuddled on the bed, side by side on the bed and holding hands. Wade had not said a single word through the whole thing and you had been dying to know what he was thinking.
You were hoping he would have said in today's session but he had been unusually quiet, letting you do a majority of the talking. When asked why he just looked at you, and what he'd said still had your insides fluttering incessantly.
"I don't know how I thought I could live without you, you are my whole fuckin' world. We can keep doing this," He had gestured to the counsellor without taking his eyes off of you, "but I'm gonna be stuck to your shoe like a mouldy piece of gum until the universe goes lights out or they figure out a way to kill me. As long as you don't give up on me—even if you do." He had grabbed your hand with such a strange mixture of gentleness and roughness, a perfect mix of him, tense as he held it to his chest so you could feel the thudding of his heart.
"I'm yours, no matter what or who happens, I'll always drag what's left of me back to you."
The elevator binged, pulling you back into the present and you stepped into the elevator with your heart in your throat. Wade had never spoken like that, never used that tone before—even in those moments where he was serious and genuine. This had been a whole other level of raw and real and it had shaken you off balance. The months and the counselling had been slowly putting back the pieces, scrubbing away at that anger and pain that was slowly becoming an unnoticeable simmer in the very back of your head.
Wade had been doing what you wanted; he'd changed. Made the effort to do better for you, for both of you. Fuck, he was even taking less jobs, he'd been dropping by your apartment and work every other day and everything was almost easing back into something akin to comfortable again. It was almost like the old days but so much better, no slamming doors and words muttered under your breath that you couldn't say to each other's faces. Your eyes could finally meet and your words could come out gentle and understanding, sometimes still rough around the edges but never enough to tear down the progress. Never enough to send that wall back up.
Things were better and now all that was standing in the way—was you.
End notes: Next one should be the final part just to wrap things up and get that much needed happy ending! See you then!!
gn!reader/deputy and eli get stuck in a bunker or cabin together and gasp there's only one bed!
seriously tho I love your writing and thank you for writing for Eli there's not enough fics with him 💚💚💚
Title: No One I Trust More
Notes: This is truly the only trope ever <3 Thank you for the kind words, this was a treat to write! I love writing for Eli, blessed golden-hearted mountain man with a tragic storyline <333
Bullets whiz through the air like miniature torpedoes, the tiny metal pellets digging into the bark of trees and the hard soil of the earth. You follow Eli through the mass of trees and foliage, your heart beat pounding in your eardrums and adrenaline coursing through your veins and making everything seem too slow and too fast all at once. Eli ducks behind a tree and you copy his movements, ducking behind the tree opposite of him. You hold your gun in your hand, taking a second to recollect yourself as Eli offers a small amount of cover fire with his arrows raining down on the peggies like hellfire.
You heard the drop of at least two bodies in the onslaught and quickly swivel on your heel, pressing your shoulder into the hard bark to steady yourself as you aimed at the incoming threats. You fire off four rounds and three bodies drop, you duck behind the tree in sync with Eli and you both look at each other with approving nods as you suck in deep breaths.
"We can't keep running all night Eli, we gotta lose 'em." You say with urgency, checking your clip and counting your bullets. You only had one spare clip left and it would not last another round of a firefight—You also noted Eli's dwindling supply of arrows. He cursed and hit his head against the tree he was behind, knowing Wheaty wouldn't be able to find you both if you kept moving. The distress call you'd made twenty minutes ago was about a few miles south of where you were now and you were nowhere near the Wolf's Den. You were a little bit screwed but oddly with Eli here you didn't feel too helpless about the situation.
You were a good team. You'd made it outta worse.
"Okay," he breathes out harshly, "there's a bunker stashed west of here if we're where I think we are. C'mon." Eli nods to the right and goes low to the ground, taking advantage of the tall grass as he crouches. You follow suit after firing two warning shots at the hidden peggies, the sound of metal hitting bark following after you.
You follow Eli through the tall grass, sneaking to one patch of foliage and another, slowly making your way down hill. You watch his back and make sure to keep close behind him, your feet are aching and you're desperate to get to this bunker, a moment of reprieve would be heaven. Eli holds a hand up and you halt instinctively, ducking further toward the ground and watching his hand like a hawk. You listen as rushing footsteps go over the hill you were just on and a shuffling goes a mere foot in front of you.
Brown fur peeks over the grass and you can't believe how unlucky you both have been today, first stumbling upon a small peggie camp and getting spotted immediately and now running into an adult brown bear.
Your hand reflexively reaches out to rest on Eli's shoulder, as a way to reassure as well as making it possible for you to pull him back if necessary. The bear pauses ahead of you, turning its large head and huffing out a deep breath as its big brown eyes survey its surroundings. Your heart hammers in your chest but you're grateful to hear the footsteps from the hill have fallen away. Eli leans back into your hand, lowering his own slowly as the bear begins to move in the direction you both had just come from. It makes a throaty noise and you feel your nerves fray at the way the ground shakes with its heavy steps. At least that would keep the peggie's busy if they felt like coming back around this way.
Your head falls forward, leaning on Eli's backpack as you exhale as quietly as possible. He exhales as well, his shoulders sinking as the bear continues on its way.
"Fuck this day man." You almost laugh but you're too tired to muster it, Eli manages a chuckle in response however.
"I second that."
You both continue on slowly, feeling your heart beat skip at every noise and too harsh a breeze. You run out of tall grass and make a run for the bunker Eli was leading you too. He stops beside some foliage and digs his hands under the piles of dead leaves, grass and twigs. A metal mechanism is muffled under the mass and he grunts as he tries to pull it upward.
"Gimme a hand here dep." He asks and you oblige, digging your hands under as well and clumsily finding his holding a large circular handle. You adjust so you're holding it and begin tugging alongside him, the grass rips away and dirt falls as you manage to bring it up. You both stiffen at the sound of running and shouts, far too close for comfort. Eli stops when the hatch is open enough for you to duck past him and get situated on the ladder. You slide down the ladder quickly and move out of the way for Eli. As he makes his way inside he pulls the circular door shut, almost falling but catching himself and making his way down the ladder at a more cautious pace.
You walk further into the bunker, it was dark and damp, the first small section full of shelves of canned food and water bottles by the dozen. The second room had a single bed and a desk pressed up against the opposite wall; a radio and map were on the desk with what looked like a conspiracy theory wall meticulously pinned up above it. Further on it looked like it dipped into another storage area and possible bathroom, a small bunker compared to some you'd seen already but it would do until the coast was clear.
Eli walks past you, on guard as he checks under the bed and then stalks towards the end room, aimed to maim at any sign of threat or unwanted company. You ease your gun into its holster and sit on the bed, needing to rest your legs and your lungs.
"Coast is clear…" Eli mutters as he walks back into the main room, stopping by the desk to fiddle with the radio. It was working, surprisingly, and he quickly put it on the Wolf's Den channel. The first thing you heard was Wheaty, his voice listing off the coordinates you and Eli had given him thirty minutes prior and affirming you both were in fact, not there. Eli would have just grabbed his good ole handheld radio to get in touch with him but he'd lost it during a struggle with a particularly unruly peggie. Seriously, shit luck today.
"I reckon we hole here a half hour before headin' back to the Den." Eli sighs, turning and crossing his arms over his chest, leaning back against the desk. His usually messy hair was absolutely mangled and clung to the sweat on his forehead, leaving him looking even more haggard than usual. You were sure you looked similar, if the grime on your arms and clothes had anything to say about it. You nod and swivel around, falling back onto the bed and letting out a groan as your body protests to being straightened out. It felt like heaven though, finally getting the weight of your feet and knees and just laying completely still.
You glance at Eli who averts his eyes to the roof a little too quickly, you roll your eyes and scooch over on the bed. It wasn't big but it could fit you both, it'd be snug but hey, you wouldn't complain.
"Get over here Eli." You slap the bed beside you. Eli clears his throat and looks like he's about to move but decides to stay put.
"I can just, uh, sit over here, s'fine."
"Eli, we're not twelve. Get on the bed man." You snort and Eli pauses before laughing gently. He rubs the back of his neck as he walks over, sitting on the edge of the bed gently before falling onto his back beside you. You're both shoulder to shoulder and you fall into a comfortable silence as the seconds ticked by. You notice Eli shift ever so slightly now and then but choose to be nice and not tease him about it, he always got a bit flustered when the two of you were alone and in close proximity for a long time. It was cute.
You exhale, closing your eyes and soaking in the absolute quiet of the bunker, only the subtle electrical buzz rang through the air.
You couldn't put into words how moments like these were near sacred, the calm and quiet was near extinct in your life and you savoured every second of it. Especially with Eli, despite the circumstances of your meeting you'd had plenty of serene moments with him, he gave you a chance to breathe in a place where it felt as if all the air was being stolen away. You appreciated having him in your life and every day you hoped you'd both make it to the other side of this thing; maybe if you did you'd have time to test the waters of your relationship. Maybe follow the spark that ignited everytime you two looked at each other for a tad too long or your hands lingered a few seconds longer than they should.
"I'm sorry about this dep."
Eli's voice is quiet and you turn your head to look at him, brows furrowing as he stares long and hard at the ceiling.
"What're you talkin' about?" You mumble, perplexed by the sudden apology.
"For getting you into this mess, feels like I keep dragging you into shit when you're already doin' all you can for the County and I just– I'm sorry." Eli cleared his throat and shook his head, flexing his hands over his stomach as he breathed through his nose. You stare at him for a moment before shaking your head and pushing yourself up onto your elbow.
"Eli Palmer, you have not once dragged me into something I haven't been ready for. Neither of us signed up for this shit but we're doin' what we can and I prefer doin' it with you than on my own. I'll follow you to hell and back until I take a bullet between the eyes or the Seeds put me down, you got that?" You say sternly, not letting Eli drop his gaze.
"I won't let them put you down dep." Eli responds just as quickly and earnestly.
"Yeah well, you watch my ass and I'll watch yours. No one else I trust more honestly." You smile, patting his chest before shifting back down, now laying on your side with your hands tucked against your chest; hovering just an inch away from Eli's bicep.
"Really?" He seems surprised by your wording, you'd done everything in your power to keep yourself guarded, even from the rest of the resistance. Trust wasn't something you gave easily, Eli had figured that out pretty early on. He would like to say he was the same but he still found himself a tad trusting when faced with someone he thought had a good heart. He had some hope in humanity left in him that you struggled to have on a good day—of which there weren't many nowadays.
"Eli, you are the only reason I've made it this far. You've saved my ass plenty so, yeah, really." You affirm.
Eli's mouth falls open, as if to say something more but he closes it as his gaze flutters down your face. He nods, swallowing hard and turning his gaze back to the ceiling. Time ticks by with the two of you laying in the peaceful silence, your bodies melting into the bed and your weary muscles relaxing after hours of being tense and straining. You can't remember the last time you took a nap, you'd snuck in small sleeps where you could but you wouldn't consider them a nap. Right now you could almost say you felt safe, enough to close your eyes and drift off for just a bit.
And you did, all but cuddled up to Eli's side.
Eli felt frozen, his body stiff as he counted down the seconds. Your head was resting on his shoulder, one of your hands lazily tossed over his forearm and foot tucked under his ankle. He wouldn't dare move a muscle, he didn't want to even think about waking you, you of all people deserve a rest and the idea that he could guard you while you took it had a warmth spreading through his chest.
It was obvious to everyone that Eli was sweet on you, ever since he and Wheaty found you and brought you back to the Wolf's Den. There was something about the way you carried yourself, the way you looked at him—talked to him. It didn't take long for him to be constantly checking up on you and worrying about you non-stop. It had even gotten to the point Tammy had snapped at him about acting like a lovesick schoolboy while there were people out getting killed.
It was a solemn reminder whatever was going on between you two was not something he could really focus on—as much as he wanted to anyway. He'd love to finally have a damn shower, show you he cleans up nice and take you to whatever restaurant or fast food joint you want to go to. He wanted this madness to be over so he could enjoy more moments like this, you curled up by his side sleeping soundly. He wanted you to be safe. He wanted you both to be safe, together if you wanted that too.
Today had just driven that into his head more, every bullet that grazed your skin, every knife narrowly dodged was another moment Eli felt sick to his stomach—he couldn't even fathom what he'd do if you got seriously hurt. Like, down for the count, probably not gettin' back up, type of deal. It wasn't an option he could fathom, you were the deputy, nothin' had stopped you yet. He dares to tilt his head, just to be able to look at you. Admire the way your eyelashes fan over your skin, the way your mouth was squished by your cheek thanks to the contact with his shoulder. You looked so human and so damn breathtaking.
Another bold move—he reaches up to trace his fingers along your forehead, lightly across your cheek. Aside from the grime and dried blood, your skin was soft and Eli allowed a stray thought of what you'd look like cleaned up for a date. You'd probably look too damn-good and he'd trip over himself like an idiot, he wouldn't be surprised. You'd had a way of making him act like a kid around their first crush, a side of himself he hadn't seen in a long time.
He wondered if it was bad luck that timing had made you both meet in the middle of a cult takeover or a weird twist of fate that'd have a happy ending. With the Seeds behind bars, Hope County freed and you two welcome to do whatever the hell you damn well pleased. Eli smiled, he wanted to be there the moment you let all of this weight off your shoulders—to finally see what you looked like when you weren't being Hope County's personal Atlas. Probably something just like this, soft and serene. He didn't know how he'd end up by the end of all of this but if he had you around he wasn't too scared, whatever pieces of him were left on the ground he could tape back together again—with you standing by him, he could do just about anything.
The radio spurts to life a few more times while you're asleep, snippets of Wheaty's worried voice and Tammy's harsher scolding telling you two to get your asses back to the Den if you're not dead. It's only after the half hour is well and truly gone by that Eli shakes your shoulder gently, freezing as you grumble in your sleep and shuffle closer. Your arm skirts over his belly before clutching onto his waist, your head smoothly gliding down to his chest; right over his racing heart.
"You awake dep?" He asks, unsure of the answer and if he would prefer if you were still asleep or not. If you were asleep and cuddling up to him he could say it was nothing but if you were awake… How was he supposed to ignore it? While friends could absolutely cuddle and share a bed, the circumstances had you both dangling over the edge of 'more-than-friendly'—to the point where you cuddling up to him like this could be what gets him to admit a thing or two. To himself and to you.
But after a beat of silence he notes, with disappointment, that you were, in fact, still asleep.
Maybe it was for the best.
"We gotta get goin'," He shakes your shoulder more firmly, needing an out now that he realises how fast he was ready to throw aside focusing on the matters at hand at just the mere thought of you doing something with a smidge of a hint that you reciprocate his feelings. You groan in protest and burrow further into his side, and Eli can't help but laugh, he had never seen you woken up before and he had not expected you to be like this. He wasn't a fan of getting up after a good nap either, but you were both needed elsewhere and any more time here was the possibility of more lives lost.
"C'mon dep." He cooes, and you finally stir back to consciousness, looking up at him blurring with a squinted gaze and unhappy frown. He sees your eyes refocus, sees you realise what you're doing, and is almost gleeful when you drop your head back to his chest with a grunt.
"Five more minutes, you're comfy."
He throws his head back with another laugh, if only to cover the rapid acceleration of his heartbeat within his ribs. He wondered if you could hear it—feel it.
"Thanks for letting me catch a few winks, haven't slept next to someone in… I don't even know how long." You murmur quietly, and Eli nods, unconsciously lifting a hand to hold your shoulder as he stares at the ceiling. He could soak up just a few more minutes, a few more minutes in an embrace with you that was too good to be real. That thought makes him want to roll his eyes at himself, he was losing it over cuddling. Damn, what did you do to him? And did you know you were doing it?
"You didn't get any sleep, did'ja?" You turn, resting your chin on his peck as you look up at him, and Eli feels himself fall short of breath. Your eyes are half lidded from drowsiness, mouth set in an inquisitive pout, and it's just all too much for him. He sits up, taking you with him—and maybe that was a worse idea since your horse ends up strewn over his lap. You grumble as you push yourself up, hands on his thighs and sending all sorts of shockwaves through him.
"I—Uh—Nah. Someone had to keep watch, just in case…"
"Well, thanks for looking after me then, I'll spot your next nep to make it even." You offer a tiny grin, and the magnetism of it is all too much for Eli. You're too close, the proximity making your usual charm hit him full force and drag him under its waves with no mercy. He's leaning into you despite himself, one hand resting over yours as you watch with an unreadable glint in your eye.
This was ridiculous.
"Awe to hell with it, dep, I gotta tell you," he sucked in a deep breath, ducking his head down and squeezing his eyes shut, "I know we ain't really got time for this type of thing and it's fuckin' stupid of me—"
"I like you too, Eli."
Your voice cuts off his soon to be long-winded ramble and he flings his head up so fast that he gets an ache in his neck. You smile softly back at him, and his mouth opens and closes a few times as he takes you in—you were being serious. One hundred percent genuine. He almost couldn't believe it, despite the flirting here and there he never could have guessed, or maybe he just didn't want to get his hopes up.
"Huh? Wh–You do?"
"I was waiting for you to say something, I didn't wanna make shit more complicated for you if you weren't up for it." You shrug, as if it's the most casual thing in the world and he can't help but reach out to grab hold of your shoulders. He didn't want you to slip away, for him to blink and have this just be a dream. You felt the same way, and you had for a while. God how long? How long had he been missing out on whatever it is you two could have had already?
"I think given the circumstances you are the least complicated thing I got in my life right now." He grins and you snort.
"I'll take that as a compliment but watch yourself." You waggle a finger at him with your own grin and if he were standing he would have gone weak at the knees. Everything you did was mesmerising and he was down for the count here. You had him wrapped right around your pinky finger and he wouldn't have it any other way.
"So.. Shit what now?" He laughs and you join in, shaking your head at how ridiculous this is.
"I don't know, I've been wanting to kiss you for six months, how about we start there?" You suggest, one hand resting over his heart as your eyes flicker to his lips. All the air escaped him at your words and he felt starstruck at just the idea of kissing you. He nods, owlishly glancing from your eyes to your mouth as his mind goes blank. He can't remember the last time he kissed somebody and he had a feeling he wouldn't remember at all after kissing you. And he was right.
You make the first move, leaning in and pressing your lips to his, he's stiff at first—in fear of fucking up. But then he relaxes and his lips move against yours smoothly, sharing a kiss that's been building up like a wildfire. And it ignites like one too, soft and curious pecks turning into passionate, long kisses with maybe a bit too much tongue on his part; he was drunk on just the taste of you and you didn't seem to mind one bit. This was more than he thought he'd ever get to share with you, lips and teeth and tongues—a small frenzy full of the feelings you'd both kept hidden for months. It was more than enough, all he needed to get back into the fight and make sure you both got outta this damn thing alive.
"I'm gonna take you on a date," He breathes once you both back off for air; foreheads pressed together and hot breath mingling between you both. You laugh and grab his jaw, fingers running through his hair and pulling him in for another burst of short kisses.
"Where you gonna take me?" You ask, a smile brighter than any you'd graced him with before shining in the small bunker like the sun. Blinding and warm.
"Anywhere you wanna go, anything you wanna do. We'll have dinner, watch a movie, cuddle up on a couch. You smiled as he rattled on breathlessly, closing his eyes to enjoy the feeling of finally being able to be totally honest with you.
The radio crackles. You both look at each other, clinging to the other's body and not wanting the happy moment to end. You sigh first, letting your head to his shoulder and hand fall to his neck.
"After this is all over, I think I'd really like that Eli." His name dances off your tongue and it just melts Eli even more. He kisses your hair and wraps his arms around you, you'd head out in a minute and face the wrath and worry of your friends when you got back to the Wolf's Den but for right now—right now you soaked in the happy ideas for the future. Your future.
Notes: Miniseries my ass—Don't forget to read Part One, Two and Three! Are you ready for Wade POV :) Typical Meta and fourth wall breaking ahead. Wade gets his action sequence and reader gets some mild trauma but they're cool about it.
Warning/s: Canon Typical violence, kidnapping, graphic depictions of violence, decapitation, blood and gore, unhealthy relationships, angst, explicit language, hospital mention
Words: 4k
Wade was like a gargoyle, the personal gargoyle of your shitty little apartment elevator. Stone still in the back with his arms crossed and head down—no one else daring to step into the cramped space with him anytime the doors opened. He'd been in there for the better half of the afternoon, going up and down the floors at the will of others button presses but not working up the guts to step onto your floor. Part of him hoped the doors would open and you'd be standing there, make the decision for him and pull him out of it or step in with him so you could both ride the hellevator of your relationship problems together.
The problems that he wasn't stupid enough to ignore were all his fault.
He was pissed, pissed at himself, pissed at the fuckers who got him into this mess and most of all pissed at the author for putting you two together and giving him a chance to fall so fuckin' badly in love with you. These guys never gave him a break in the love department and if he ever got his hands on them he'd shove their keyboards and pens right up their asses—It was the plot's fault that it hinged on the breakup trope, he and you the unwilling puppets strung along to amuse and entice whoever clicked on the title in their fanfic scroll.
The doors to the elevator opened and your building's security guard, Rich, stared back at him, nervous and tired as all hell. Any other day Wade would have been happy to see him. But right now he wanted to decapitate anyone who didn't have your simmering eyes, he just wanted to see you.
"Heya Wade, uh, people have been callin' the office about a thug in the elevator. Think you could uh," He gestured to the front door of the building and Wade would have tossed him out of it himself had he not soon followed up. with the fact you weren't even home. He froze, hand slapping on the closing doors and shoving them open as he barged out of the elevator.
"Where the fuck are they then?" He snapped, a sudden fear and fury overtaking him as he gripped the guard's uniform tightly. The one time he offered you some privacy and didn't follow you home of course something fucking happened, it was just his damn rotten luck. Rich trembled under his masked gaze and tried to lean back as far as humanly possible.
"I-I have no idea! Didn't come home last night, just assumed they were with you!" He yelped as Wade tossed him to the side, storming out of the building with homicidal intent rolling off of him in waves. A kidnap plot—his favourite. Note the sarcasm. He fumed as he hopped into the car he'd parked on the curb, not his, he didn't own one—he was borrowing this one. Indefinitely. He sped off, at first he was too blindsided by his anger to know where he was going but as it began to simmer realisation bit into the back of his skull like a sneaky bullet.
The fuckwads from the gig. The ones that said if he didn't behave like a good doggy they'd pop a cap in your pretty skull—He should have taken the risk and taken 'em all out Keanu style when he had the chance. But he got preoccupied by, well, you, and trying to get you as far away from him as possible. He was scared, plain and simple. Out of everyone he couldn't watch you get hurt because of him—ironic as he hurt you all the same. Maybe even worse.
After a hasty u-turn and aggressive tapping of coordinates into the shitty GPS Wade put his foot on the gas; his grip on the wheel tight enough to bend the metal beneath the silicone protection. All of this, all of the pain, the nights alone and the nights watching you cry while watching your comfort movies—all of it for nothing! The same song and dance he'd been avoiding was playing out all the same. He scowled, cursed the hostage-for macguffin-trope and promised himself he would not sit through any monologues or negotiations. He was getting you out of whatever crusty basement they had you in and taking you home and then when he had you back; he wasn't letting go.
You could hate him, throw things at him, the whole lot; but he wasn't leaving your side ever again.
He couldn't handle it even when it was self inflicted, fuck whatever your therapist said about it. Fuck whatever anyone else said about it. He needed you, more than he needed oxygen—and back in the day people called that romantic, not unhealthy or concerning.
A wire fence gave way as Wade swerved into the shady, abandoned apartment complex lot. The car sputtered in defiance as he drifted to a stop in front of the building. They knew he was coming, if they didn't they were idiots. He jumped out, heading to the front door, he wasn't going to give them a dime or a batted eyelash but he didn't have time to sneak in the back. He needed to see you were okay and if there was even a hair out of place every mother fucker in this building was going lights out for good.
The doors creaked open, his heavy steps reverberated off the walls and the prior chatter died into bated breaths. When he rounded the corner into a large open room his sights zeroed in on you immediately, tied to a chair and eyes burning with fury and panic. Blood dripped from your lips and anger flared within him before he noticed the guy beside you on the floor clutching the bloody place where his ear used to be. Oh shit. Said ear stared back at him from the puddle on the floor by your feet and he had to admit, he was impressed and dare he say, a little hard.
He wished he could've seen that.
Fuck you were awesome.
"Are you waiting for something?" You asked him, voice strained as you ignored everyone else in the room; eyes solely on Wade. You had no doubts he was getting you out of here and that made his chest swell with some emotion he couldn't quite place. Pride? Love? All of the above?
He titled his head up, noting the faded tune of 'Hit the Road Jack' coming from another room. Oh good, a backing track. He tapped his foot and nodded along for a moment as he lifted his hands, guns were on him—and you, and he chuckled. A low and dark rumble that left the room feeling colder than when he walked in. These chucklefucks had no idea how bad of an idea that was. But they would find out.
"Alrighty sluggers, you ready to dance like monkeys while I take you down in nasty ways for the author's lil action sequence?" Confused looks were shot his way and quickly dismissed as he grabbed his guns in a smooth motion. Shooting two of the guys closest to you, the bullets whizzing through the air and nailing them both in the same eye. Blood and viscera smattered the wall as their bodies went down and you winced as some of it got on you. Whoops.
"Sorry babe." He sang, receiving an unimpressed and somewhat disturbed glare from you. Yeah okay, not funny, he got it.
Wade moved on to the guys nearest to him, neither fast enough to dodge and one got a nice fat bullet to the lower jaw; ripping through skin and cracking through bone as it cut through him like a hot knife. His body fell into the guy behind him who shrugged him off with terror in his eyes. Wade loved it when they got all squirmy, made him all tingly and warm inside. It was fun—for him, anyway. The other guy got a lovely little bullet to the nose, the cartilage shattered and the middle of his face bloomed like a red rose, his body flying back until he landed on the floor looking like a Francisco Goya painting.
What was Wade if not an artist and his weapon's his tools?
Shots began to fire, none from his gun and Wade got started on the left side of the room, swerving past a baseball bat before kicking it into the air and smacking the butt of his gun into the guy's nose. Blood squirted all over the front of Wade and he didn't flinch, sheathing one gun to catch the bat and toss it across the room at one of the guys taking shots at him. It hit him square in the face, breaking his shades and it knocked him back far enough that he tripped over a chair. Wade turned back in time to knock away a punch from the guy now bleeding profusely from his bruising nose.
"You look like you just watched a naughty anime buddy, you should really be careful because the guys upstairs can see everything in your search history," He grinned at the utter despair and confusion on the other man's face, taking even greater pleasure in headbutting him and kicking him back into three of his buddies.
Two other guys ran at his side and he dodged and weaved, shooting one in the kneecap and pulling out one of his swords; decapitating the other guy in a swift motion. As his head rolled off of his body, blood and bone and muscle spilled over the floor and Wade shot the screaming man in front of him in the head. Brain matter coating his boots much to his chagrin, he pulled a face no one could see and tried to shake the shit off of him.
"Nameless bad guy number five got his brain goo all over my boot, gross."
"Wade!" Your voice cut through the pandemonium, followed by a cacophony of gunshots and Wade felt his body ripped open at multiple points. It hurt, it always did, feeling the shrapnel dig into his muscles and the bullet skid past his bones. The ones that hit his fun zone were always the worst and he made a show of bending over and groaning unhappily. His one good feature just got turned into swiss cheese. Again.
He looked up at you, making sure the fire show was reserved solely for him and there was something about the worry in your eyes that stirred something within him. You still cared, even if he wouldn't die you cared that he was getting hurt. That was something. More than enough.
He pushed himself back into action, sword swinging and cutting a guys arm off, gun lifting and blowing a guy's junk into oblivion—the howl of agony a nice backing track to the slowly fading in 'If I could Turn Back Time' by queen Cher herself. Maybe this was it, the big show that he was willing to go through hell to get back to you. Once he'd finished off these guys and untied you, you'd throw your arms around him and he'd get to whisk you off into the sunset. He smiled as he kebabified mister one arm and mister no junk in one go, their bodies tossed to the ground by inertia as he slid his sword back. He spun across the bloody pool of a floor, right into the path of a knife that twisted into his abdomen painfully—but he was too lost to his daydream to give a fuck.
He tucked his gun under the guys chin and blasted his brains out with a boyish glee, sheathing that gun as well to rip the knife out of his gut and toss it into the head of the guy who had the gall to leave the fight and start running toward you. It landed in his temple, slotting in like a perfect tetris piece and his body fell by your feet. You flinched and closed your eyes, rearing Wade back into reality somewhat. Now wasn't time to be playing, you absolutely weren't having fun so neither could he. Double time.
The last two guys went down with fierce efficiency and Wade cleaned off his sword in the crook of his elbow, sliding it back into its place as he rounded the back of your chair.
"Are you—"
"Just get me the fuck out of here Wade." Your words were sharp even though they were quiet—shaky. Wade shut his mouth with a clack of teeth. His jaw tensed as he cut the ropes on your wrists with his tactical knife and freed you from the chair. You didn't jump into his arms, more like fell limply against his chest in exhaustion as he picked you up. He could see scuffs on your skin, dried blood and scratches that made his blood boil. He'd come back and do some unspeakable performance art with these bozos corpses later, if only to make himself feel better for not being there to stop them getting you in the first place.
Having you back in his arms cemented a few things to him, cradling you to his chest and feeling the rise and fall of your own reminded him of so many nights where you were fast asleep next to him trusting your life in his hands. Something not one other person ever did, which was wise, really. But having your arm over his shoulder and knowing how you'd been so sure of him saving you; he needed that. In the world of people that saw him as a failure of a human being who was only good at killing and nothing else he needed you, who had always seen him as something more. Something that could be good, even when he did everything to prove you wrong.
He took you to the hospital despite your protests and stayed by you as they checked you over and patched you up, he threatened each and every one and you scowled and told him to shut it each and every time. It was almost like old times except you looked fatigued and sad and he was rougher and angry. When you were good to go Wade tossed around a few bills and walked out the front door hot on your heels, it was only when you started walking in the opposite direction of his car did he reach out to stop you.
"Wade—" You let him turn you around but you kept your feet planted in place and his heart twisted as your usual facade of anger had melted away into utter sadness and confusion.
"You just got kidnapped and you wanna take the bus?" He asked and you shook your head, but still didn't move. A beat of tense silence filled the space between you before you shrugged and laughed roughly, his hands hovered; wanting nothing more than to hold you again and ward off that blanket of hurt covering you.
"Were those the guys that shot you into a black hole?"
You didn't look at him as you asked and he slowly nodded.
"Yeah. I skimped on my end of the bargain and they thought they could get back at me, I'll take care of it, you'll be okay." He tried to sound reassuring, but his whole being was the opposite of that word. He would be making them all go away, that wasn't a question and he knew you wouldn't doubt that. As soon as someone went after the people he cared about, the list being very short and easy to find, they weren't destined to be in this plane of reality for much longer. They all joined the pile of the dead nameless characters only put in place to show off his wicked skills and mad devotion.
Of which he had entirely too much, he felt like he could burst at the seems from all the feelings inside him specifically labelled with your name. How could one person consume him so wholly? He had never figured it out and he doubted he ever would; despite the obvious inclination to wonder if it was the puppeteer playing him the feelings he felt were far too real and too deep to just be shrugged off as some shallow dialogue. You and him, right here and now, you were real and what you made him feel was real.
And right now he had a whole lot of fear.
You shook your head and turned away from him again, a humourless smile on your face that was hard to look at. Wade watched on carefully as you wrapped your arms around yourself and felt his arms fall to his side.
"I don't think I will be," you looked back at him, "I don't think we will be." That was the opposite of what Wade wanted to hear. He played through the scenario where he threw you over his shoulder and put you in the car, driving you home and ignoring everything you had to say about it. He tried to figure out if being with you and having you actively hate him and trying to get away from him was better than letting you go and getting the small moments of less than stellar small talk or worse; total silence.
Both sounded like garbage.
"I want to go home Wade."
"Then get in the car." He gestured back to the lacklustre scrap of metal and you shook your head, a small action that felt worse than the bullets that had ripped through him earlier. He felt his frustration boiling over, he wanted to rewind time and take back all of his stupid mistakes and all the angry words you'd thrown at each other the last few weeks. He just wanted you. He swore you still wanted him too.
"I can't."
For a moment Wade just stared at you, long and hard as you stepped away from him. He really felt like he was stuck between a rock and a hard place and definitely not in a good way. The worst way possible actually. He racked his brain for what to do and grovelling and being honest seemed the only way to move forward that didn't end in you running away from him for the rest of your life. As much as being stupid or aggressive would have been so much easier, he had enough brain left to realise that's how he ended up here in the first place.
"I can't lose you." He hated the way the words sounded so fragile in his mouth, he wanted to bite his tongue off as soon as he said it. You looked just as surprised as he was by him saying it and your mouth fell open as you failed to put together a reply. He watched as you pulled yourself together, the small physical cues he'd mesmerised showing him you were trying desperately to keep up the wall that had been slowly building up. But he wasn't gonna let you hide from him, not now.
"You already let me go, Wade."
He knew that, the reminder stung and he shook his head to rid himself of the flashes of your pained face, the tears he'd seen you shed when you thought you were alone.
"I fucked up, I'll wear that. I fuck up all the time and I'll keep fucking up but I," He sucked in a deep breath, holding his hands out to the side as he stepped forward, "I love you. You are the only good fuckin' thing in my life and I thought as long as you were okay and happy I could live without you, but I can't." He gritted out the words one after the other. God he hated this genre, he always ended up sounding like a wimp. But he wasn't lying, the only time he'd ever lied to you was when he told you to get lost on what had slowly become one of the worst days in his entire damn life.
He wished he had just told you the truth, he'd been getting pretty good at doing it before but something about seeing a reticle trained on you with a little red dot shook him hard to his core. He could disarm a guy in under a second but a drone with more than one controller was another matter and it had just wrecked him, his progress, his resolve; all of it. For that one second he'd lost you and then in the next he really did lose you. But it was in a far worse way as you were still walking around and breathing; just without him being able to be there breathing in that same air.
God this fucking sucked. Relationships always sucked, people were too complicated and he hated feeling how he felt right now. Utterly hopeless—the one guy in the world who could survive a nuclear bomb head-on couldn't handle a simple fucking relationship and like hell he knew how to salvage it in the wreckage he made. But he had no choice but to try and you weren't walking away. So he had to try, even when you didn't want him to.
"I'm always going to love you Wade," that was never a good start to a longer sentence, "I need time. I think we both do. Our relationship was never gonna be normal but there's a little unconventional and then there's our personal, hellish little train wreck that we got stuck in." You gestured between the both of you and Wade sucked in a breath through his teeth.
"Please don't make me keep going with the pathetic grovelling babe please, the author sucks at writing it," He whispered, a half assed attempt to skirt around the heaviness of the conversation. He wasn't good at this, he never had been. Class clown extraordinaire whose way of dealing with conflict was stabbing pencils into eye sockets struggled with relationship talk, go figure.
"Wade can you be fucking serious please, no bullshit." You stressed, stepping forward and he nodded quickly, matching your step with his own so you were only a foot apart.
"I'm sorry, you know I ramble when I get nervous."
"Fucking hell," You groaned and covered your face with your hands, inhaling deeply before dropping your hands and seemingly giving up the fight for now. He was grateful because he wasn't really sure how much fight he had left in him. Well, for you he couldn't fight for eternity, fight with you even. But man it would wear him out.
"Okay just. You have a raw fucking moment with me here and I'll let you take me home, are you actually gonna do anything different or are you gonna sweep everything under the rug and hit me with the same shit in another two years?" Your question is valid and Wade mulled it over as he thought about what you might be looking for in terms of a change. His behaviour was never gonna get any better, neither was his potty mouth—but yours was no better so it wasn't that. He lifted a hand to hold the back of his neck, to think but also to pluck out the bullet that was starting to itch like hell.
"You want couples counselling or whatever I'll do it, I'm gonna be me about it but I'll sit the full hour. The quack might not make it but—" He waved his other hand in the air as he rattled off the one possibility he could think you'd like to hear and you were quick to follow up, a light full of hope flickering behind your tired eyes.
"And you'll talk to me? The next time shit hits the fan in a scary way you'll trust me enough to tell me instead of calling off our two year relationship with gross ass insults—which fucking hurt, by the way." You crossed your arms over your chest and Wade had never nodded so fast or so hard in his life. He jumped toward you like a man running from fire into the arms of a sexy fireman; except he was holding onto your arms and no one's feet were being whisked into the air—but still.
"I will—and i'm sorry. I didn't mean any of it, if that helps," The author didn't even write it so good luck getting him to remember what he even said. All he knew is that it was bad and left a terrible taste in his mouth, a mouldy taste that lingered and clogged up his throat. You didn't lurch away as his hands rested on your forearms but you didn't lean into him like you always used to, it was some uncomfortable thing in the middle that made his skin prickle uncomfortably.
"It doesn't…" You roll your lips into a thin line before sighing and moving your feet, slipping your arms out of his hands and each step lead you back to the shit box Wade drove you here in. A small win, one he'd gladly fucking take right now.
End notes: Some movie!Wade seeped through here, I cannot deny a good backing track for a fight sequence, writing it while listening to those songs was an absolute blast—let me know if it was as fun to read as it was to write! As always, see you in the next one!
Summary: Dean Sinclaire used to consider Jacob Seed his best friend, the only person in the world he could rely on. Now, he was the only person he couldn't run from fast enough. In their years apart the little boy who had promised to take him to the stars had become a living nightmare hellbent on making him the same, would he succumb to his trials or was there a chance he could bring his old friend back to the surface?
Wordcount: 4k
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Night rolled in quickly and Dean and Grace made use of an old abandoned camp off a small trail, it was out of the way enough they figured it would be safe—planning to take turns keeping an eye out while the other slept. The camp had a duffel bag with some soup cans and after Grace had made a fire in an impressively short time they both had cracked one open and began chowing down on the soup.
"If we're gonna be working together you might wanna get a handle on your gun phobia." Grace remarked before shoving the spoon into her mouth. Dean blinked, leaning back and furrowing his brows as her words registered. That came out of nowhere.
"I don't have a gun phobia?" He said, confusion clear in his tone as he rested his own can of soup on his knee. Grace shot him a look, wiping her mouth before gesturing at him with her spoon.
"I didn't see you shoot a gun once, you hit a lot of people in the face with 'em but they're more effective when you shoot with 'em." Grace set a firm stare on him, nodding to his gun and Dean couldn't help but drop his head in embarrassment. His gaze fixed on the small campfire they'd set up. He knew that he just…
"I just—I didn't sign up to kill anyone." He muttered, sticking his spoon into the can with a small frown. He stirred it mindlessly as he heard Grace sigh.
"You ain't the only one, but when it's you or them you ain't got a lot of choices." She shook her head, resting her forearms on her knees as she also turned her gaze to the small flickering fire.
"Yeah I know, I…" Dean trailed off, thinking back to that first night. The peggie he shot. The peggie at Fall's End. The people he wrote off under their title instead of having to think about their names and ages and families. He already felt their ghosts hanging off his ankles, anymore and he didn't know if he'd be able to walk. He swallowed the lump in his throat, he felt pathetic. There was so much going on, people suffering, and he was worried about his feelings. What a joke.
"I'll tell you something, deputy. You're not a weak man for not wanting to kill. You're a good one from what I've seen. But these people don't care about that, they're blinded by their faith in Joseph Seed and you're the big bad enemy standing in their way." Grace spoke again, leaning back. Dean met her gaze and tried to soak in her words, maybe if he heard it enough it'd finally sink in and stay there. He highly doubted it would but there was a chance. Maybe there was a chance he'd stop seeing an oddly serene little kid when he heard that name too.
"I got a body count i'm not too proud of myself, goin' up even more now. But I have it for the right reasons, i'm protecting people. If we don't fight this battle innocent people will die. I don't know about you but I'm willing to forfeit a few good nights of rest if it means saving those lives." Grace bowed her head for a moment, the fire and her hat casting a dramatic shadow over her eyes for a moment. She looked up at him again after a pause with a heat to her gaze, mirrored by the fire catching in them.
Dean felt some of her conviction rub off on him, a swell in his chest motivated by her words making him sit up a little straighter. She made a good point, Blair did too. He really needed to start taking notes from these people. The first step was listening, he guessed. He nodded, to her and to himself. He thought back on what he'd told himself at Fall's End, he had to be ruthless. Be ruthless to be good in a way. Fighting fire with fire. If Grace could do it and still get some sleep surely he could too.
He dug his heels into the dirt, stirring the soup again as he let his thoughts arrange themselves. He was tired, right down to his bones and he knew he would be for the foreseeable future. He heaved a sighed and rubbed at his eyes with his knuckle.
"I never got any firearms training." He admitted and Grace took a moment to process what he'd said before she burst out into a small fit of laughter. Dean's lips quivered as he fought his own laughter—It was funny, if not also a comment on subpar regulations. He hadn't complained because he didn't wanna use it anyway. Grace smiled then, a broad one that made Dean feel a bit lighter after that heavy topic.
"Tomorrow you'll show me what you can do and I'll see if I can give you some pointers." Grace offered and Dean felt himself genuinely perk up. Not a reaction he thought he'd ever have over someone offering to teach him to shoot.
"Thank you Grace,"
She offered a non-committal nod and Dean ducked his head down. They finished their soup and Dean volunteered to take first watch, promptly shut down by Grace with little argument being allowed. So he curled up on top of an old sleeping bag, arms wrapped around himself. He stared at the dirt and grass for a while, his mind wandering with no alcohol to conk him out into blissful slumber. He thought about his siblings, about his coworkers, his new acquaintances and his old friend. He couldn't help it, no matter what his mind wanted to run through a reel of his brief childhood in Atlanta and the boy he spent most of his time with. Even as he tried to scrub it away and remind himself of who that boy was now.
Some habits were hard to break, feelings hard to throw away and forget.
He squeezed his eyes shut, counting in his head in attempt to focus. The fatigue through his body made the method more effective than it ever had been and with one last inhale and numbers trailing off in his mind he succumbed to sleep.
The air was tense—more than normal. Jacob shifted through his blueprints, tuning out the way John's heel made an irritating clacking noise every time his bouncing leg fell. Faith sat opposite of his little brother, lazing in her chair and reading through a file he'd tossed her way earlier, reports on the judge tests they'd been doing and the bliss effects. He wanted it amped up, she said she'd have to look into it. He could do it himself if it really came down to it but he deigned to wait. Follow the invisible rules laid out around them like a web. There was an order to their chaos and he'd follow it until it got in his way.
John toyed with his watch, glancing down at it and to the doorway Joseph still hadn't graced, an obvious furrow to his pinched brows.
"Starin' at the door won't make him show up faster, John." He mused and John let out a small, near unnoticeable scoff.
"Thank you Jacob, i'm well aware." He huffed, leaning back in his chair and placing his fidgeting hands in his lap. He never was good at waiting, never had been. Especially not when he was in the middle of getting his hooks back into Fall's End, or reclaiming their stolen land as he put it. But when Joseph called they all answered no matter what. Faith seemed to be the least bothered by the situation, naturally she had no connection to the brunette who'd left the three brothers shaken in some way. Jacob still remembered Joseph's words after the crash, the look in his eyes as he held onto him with a grip tight enough to pull him from the seventh circle of hell. Joseph hadn't told him everything, he could always tell when he was holding some puzzle pieces for himself.
Some visions he shared and some he didn't and for the most part Jacob was okay with that. He didn't need to know, it wasn't his job to know. But this one time, he had an urge to ask. He wanted to understand what Joseph had seen, what mechanism was Dean in his holy construction? Maybe knowing the answer would help him get his head on straight and help reaffirm his own place in it; his assured understanding unequivocally changed since the moment they were in the same room. And damn if that wasn't infuriating.
John's radio buzzed on his belt and he ripped it out with ferocity, holding it up as one of his chosen's voice rippled through the static.
"The deputy was spotted near the Lamb Of God Church with Grace Armstrong. They should still be in the area, do we move in?"
So he was tracking him—he thought so. John held grudges like nobody's business.
"Yes, yes. But don't engage, just follow him. I want to know what he thinks he's up to." John hissed, dismissing the chosen quickly and slapping the radio down on the table. Irritation rolled off of him in waves and Jacob just shook his head, closing his blueprints for now and tossing them onto the table. Faith followed suit, discarding the files he'd given her on the table and standing. She glided across the floor to a tray with a jug of water, pouring herself a glass and humming to herself. She did a small playful spin as she made her way back, swaying gently as she eyed the door.
She was bored, it wasn't hard to tell. They all had other things to be focusing on in the very beginning of the reaping. Chess pieces they'd set falling into their checks and mates just as planned. With the one unplanned rook sweeping John's out from under him and causing a mess. Before Jacob could follow that thought the door they'd all been eyeing finally swung open. Joseph stepped through and the air stilled, John and Jacob standing as he walked up to the table. He greeted Faith first, holding her upper arm and resting his forehead to hers and gently uttering her name.
He stepped to Jacob, mimicking the hold he had on him after the plane crash but with far less force. And then he did the same to John before making his way to the head of the table. They all sat and waited, Joseph looked around the paperwork on the table, his elbows on the wood and fingers interlocked—resting in front of his mouth.
"I know we've all been quite surprised by the deputy, I knew there would be someone coming to open the seal—I never saw their face. But now knowing what we know I believe it was fate, Dean was destined to find us again and be a part of this reckoning. This is his trial, once he's passed it he will be with us and our family will be stronger. We need to show him the path," He rests his hand over Faith's, reaching for John's as well, "we need to guide him with understanding and love. He knows nothing of what is coming—but he will." Joseph's tone is as sombre as ever, his gaze intense as he takes his time to look at each of his siblings.
John and Faith offer a chorus of, "Yes Joseph," while Jacob simply nods in affirmation. Understanding and love was the last thing Jacob was going to offer his former friend, it wouldn't achieve the outcome Joseph actually wanted and deep down he knew it. Not even to mention he'd lost the ability for things so soft a long time ago, beaten out of him by belts and cables and bullets. Dean was in for tough love, the kind they were both well acquainted with. Joseph leant back and folded his hands over each other, the beads of his rosary scraping across the wood.
"Do we know where he is currently?" Joseph asks gently, his eyes automatically drifting to John as if he already knew the answer.
"He was last spotted by the Lamb of God church, I have people watching him." John puffed out his chest like a peacock showing off its feathers, a pleased smile on his face as he waited eagerly for Joseph's approval. which he of course received in a smile and pat on the shoulder.
"We'll have to begin with his cleansing,"
"I have a room prepared for him." John answered instantly, as if on script and Joseph nodded in approval.
"Jacob, Faith will lead him to you once he is ready, that will be his path. You will be his judge and his final trial, only you will be able to walk him through the gates." Joseph turned his gaze on him and Jacob held steady under it. He tried not to pick apart the choice of words and nodded, glancing at Faith who offered a serene smile. Seemed like she had the easiest job here, or the hardest. From what Jacob remembered Dean was not so easily swayed, even if he followed people around the playground like a puppy eager to please. He had his hard limits and was harder to budge than a concrete slab in a cemetery.
"The collapse is nearing faster now, how are other preparations coming along?" Joseph eased back into his chair and Jacob felt strangely relieved at the change of topic. The more Dean came up the more it felt like he was picking at an old wound, a reaction he wasn't really expecting from himself.
John straightened up in his chair and adjusted his vest, kicking one leg over the other as he addressed their brother.
"My gate is fully prepared and we've collected a hundred souls so far, twenty of whom have gone through their cleansing, Deputy Hudson has just begun her own. I'm working on retaking Falls End and recollecting Mary May Fairgrave and Jerome Jeffries." John cleared his throat at the end, obviously hating to admit he'd lost them in the first place.
"Let me know when you do." Joseph replied, tone stern but gentle, just like how he'd talk to him when he was younger and had forgotten to clean up his corner of their shared room.
"My gate is nearly ready, a few supplies are still coming in. The Marshal has taken quite well to the Bliss, he'll be walking his path shortly. All my priestesses are busy collecting souls across the Henbane, I'll have a number by next week." Faith hummed, voice slow like a sloth and flittery like a hummingbird all at once. Joseph nodded, a small hum coming from him that didn't help discern whether it was approval or not. Faith shifted ever so slightly at it, a near unnoticeable sign of discomfort—or perhaps annoyance—as her smile became forced.
"Judge trials are nearly wrapping up, just waitin' to get the go ahead on ampin' up the bliss concentrate. Our militia is comin' along well and peaches—Pratt, has just started his conditioning." Jacob is short and sweet with his report, he'd have a proper one ready later. He'd been preoccupied at the moment, something he refused to rightly acknowledge.
"Will he be ready by the time Dean comes to you?" Joseph asks and Jacob doesn't need to think on it much before nodding.
"He's weak. He'll break quick." He affirms and Joseph bows his head in a deep nod.
"You're doing so well, my family. If we stay on this path we'll all be walking through the gates together soon." Joseph offered one of those smiles that didn't quite fit him anymore, broad and creasing his eyes but offset just slightly and crooked.
"There's still some things we must discuss…" Joseph continued, clasping his hands together and the three siblings settled in to listen. Once it was Joseph's turn to speak they were destined to be there for a while.
Dean adjusted the gun in his hand, still blinking the sleep away from his eyes as he stared down the barrel at the row of bottles Grace had lined up. She stood off to the side scrutinising his form with her gaze, arms crossed as she made her way around him.
"Hold steady. Feet apart, back straight. There you go. Fire when ready." Her words were firm and steady, with a nice hint of reassurance that made her sound like she'd trained a thousand men to shoot.
He took a deep breath and fired. And he missed.
Well—that was embarrassing.
"Open both your eyes, deputy." Grace said, words dry, but smirk heard loud and clear in the drawl.
"...Right," He coughed. He decided to take the defence of having just barely woken up, that was absolutely it.
He fired again, the bottle on the left shattering and falling to the ground in a hundred pieces. That was better, it felt kind of good too. When his target wasn't a person it wasn't so hard. He took a few more shots, managing to get all the bottles Grace had lined up for him. He didn't rush but he tried not to be embarrassingly slow and it seemed to pay off for him. Once all the bottles were nothing but piles of broken glass in the grass he lowered the gun.
"Not bad for an old dog?" He grinned cheekily, Grace rolling her eyes.
"Old dog?" She snorted.
"I'm probably older than you, you know." He mused.
Grace let out a short disbelieving scoff, smacking his arm as she walked past and that was the end of that discussion. He didn't bother elaborating that he wasn't joking, it didn't really matter and he didn't help his case with how he still managed to act like a nervous schoolboy half the time. It's probably what helped him fit in so well in the sheriff's department though if he really thought about it. His boyish attitude and obedient nature didn't really scream old man, he could only imagine how he'd seem next to Jacob. Life had really taken them in two totally different directions and Dean couldn't see any of his old friend left while in comparison he was still waiting to feel like a proper adult.
"Let's try out some moving targets, s'all good and well if you can shoot a stationary one but peggies don't sit still and wait for you to shoot 'em."
Dean nodded, holstered his gun and followed after her out of the clearing and back into the dense trees. He hoped she wasn't suggesting shooting animals, he didn't want to shoot humans but he really didn't want to shoot defenceless animals.
Luckily for Dean Grace wasn't thinking anything of the sort. She'd led him back to the burnt down house, where he found out it had been her home. The fact had left him speechless but she'd moved on quickly, treading around the rubble and to a shed; singed but not destroyed. Dean dragged his eyes over the charred wood of the home, feeling a second hand loss and anger at the sight of it. This was so fucked. He'd had no home a few times in the past but under much different circumstances, in most of them at least he had somewhere to crawl back too. Grace pulled out something that looked like a heftier automatic ball thrower from the shed and walked over to him.
"My old man made this when I was younger, so I could practise shootin'. We'll see if it still works." She offered a smile as Dean took it from her after she held it out to him. It was about as heavy as a small generator. Grace ducked into the shed again and came out with a small bag, setting off again and Dean once again followed after her. They went out into the large clearing again and set up near the edge of it. Just in case they needed to make a quick exit. Grace struggled to get the thing to work but after a sharp kick it made some whirring noises, the sputtering afterwards didn't sound too good but it was running.
Grace directed Dean to a spot much like a drama teacher guiding their pupil, it made him giggle and she told him to take it seriously despite her own amused smile present for half a second. He followed her instructions and copied his earlier motions of aiming his gun. Both eyes open, stance wide, back straight.
"Now these are gonna go out fast, hopefully, there'll be a second where they're gettin' ready to fall but you gotta be quick." Grace instructed, loading in something that looked like a frisbee into the machine. That was now smoking, for the record.
"Ready when you are." Dean said with a confident nod, after the bottle he figured it couldn't be that hard.
A loud thunk was followed by the quick woosh of air, similar to the sound that came from spinning a rope in a circle really fast. Luckily this didn't have a chance of smacking him in the leg, that always hurt. But it was also hard to keep track of amongst the clouds and Dean fumbled instantly, taking a shot and missing. He tried to catch it on its way down to the ground but that also failed. He heard a snort and scowled at Grace who had covered her mouth. She shook her head and he noticed the small shake of her shoulders.
"Okay, yeah, very funny, i'll get the next one. Probably." He grumbled, pouting as he readied himself again for another go. Grace didn't say anything, maybe to spare his feelings, as she loaded the thing back up. Another loud bang and Dean was ready this time, but still only managed to clip the edge of it. He cursed gently under his breath but followed it down and managed to get it a foot off of the ground.
"I kinda wish I'd made them give me training now, man." Dean grumbled, shaking his head in frustration and Grace chuckled.
"Really lowerin' their standards nowadays,"
"It wasn't all exactly up to regulation, no." Dean couldn't help laughing a bit at the ridiculousness of it all. It felt good to laugh, he appreciated how easy it felt to laugh in the moment. He was thankful Grace agreed to tag along with him, he needed this.
She chucked in another mark and Dean scraped the side of it but there was definitely a hole in it. The next two he hit right on the edge, the third he got a lucky hit close to the middle. Grace made hums and other noises, sizing up his shots and judging his skill—Or, lack thereof. He didn't mention he might have had glasses for a few years until he got sick of having to renew the prescription and the tan coloured Frisbee blended in a bit too much with the sky when they were at their highest point. He figured it wasn't that big of a deal, he could blame it on his inexperience anyway.
"Your aim's inconsistent, you gotta keep your eye straight down the barrel. Try to predict where the mark is gonna be, don't focus on where it's coming from." Grace walked over to quickly fix Dean's form, pushing his spine straighter and nudging his arms up higher, he felt like a kid getting his first shooting lessons. Minus the kid part, he was. Grace walked back over to the machine which was starting to sputter more consistently, the grey smoke tainting black as it fought to cooperate.
The next row of shots were a bit better but weren't gonna win him any awards, he managed to only miss two out of seven which was better. For him. Grace chucked the last one in and Dean breathed out, trying to really make this one count.
Bang!
The bullet skirted under the bottom of the mark and its directory changed, aiming directly for Dean who made a less than dignified noise as he dropped to his knees to avoid it. That had Grace huffing with laughter, shaking her head as Dean caught himself with one hand before he face planted into the dirt.
"Jesus." He muttered through disconnected giggles, pushing off his hand and letting himself fall onto his ass, pulling out the gun's clip to check how many bullets were left as he shook his head. He really made it count in some type of way. The machine breathed its last whirring, sputtering cry before giving out with an odd pop. Grace sighed and pushed herself up from the ground, tossing her rifle over her shoulder and walking slowly back over to Dean.
"How bad was it?"
"I've seen a twelve year old shoot better than that but, it'll do. At least you can hit a moving target." Grace smiled, holding out her hand to him. Dean sighed and took it, allowing her to pull him to his feet.
"Thanks for that… uh, guess we should get going. Plenty of people who could use my excellent marksmanship about now I'm sure." Dean offered a lopsided smile and Grace rolled her eyes.
"Maybe not your marksmanship but they sure do need you deputy." She replied smoothly, patting his shoulder before starting the trek along the clearing; most likely towards a road. Dean paused for a moment, taking stock of her words as he watched her back. He shook it off, taking stride after her. People needed the deputy, the symbol, the strong and resilient persona he put on anytime he wore his uniform. Just now they needed him a little more brutal. What's one more thing to tack onto the long list? After that short and sweet shooting lesson he was feeling a bit more prepared, he wasn't gonna go around shooting everything that moved but he knew he could if he needed too.
And considering the past few days there was no doubt he would.
