the crowd is silent. we anxiously await for someone to appear on stage. we realize nobody is coming. i decide to take one for the team. i sneak through the aisles and crawl up on the stage. my sweaty palms reach out for the microphone. i begin to speak but the piercing sound of the mic feedback cuts me off. i try again. "fem losers club band au", i speak into the mic. the crowd is still silent. i fear i have ruined my reputation. just then, the audience starts to clap erupts in cheers of joy. i am lifted off the stage and i crowd surf through the audience. the people carry me out of the auditorium and through the streets. i end up at the mayor's office. i am given the key to the city. i am then automatically elected president of the united states. the people love and worship me endlessly. my legacy lives on for centuries. thank you.
