The Absolute Bullshit that Stark Industries Interns have to listen to because Tony and Peter don't have any situational awareness whatsoever #1 (masterpost here)
Peter: Mr Stark, i swear to god, that is NOT WHERE THAT GOES?
Tony: i make the rules, 'roos. and i say, it does in fact, go right here.
Peter: did you do any math? like...at all? you have like, a bajillion doctorates, and yet you haven't done the math for this?
Tony: hey i did- i did the fuckin' math, Pete.
Tony, hesistant: ...okay, what does THAT mean?
Peter: no, i'm believing you. you did the math.
Tony, actually terrified: shit, what the fuck am i missing? i did the math, Peter, i swear. what the actual fuck are you on about?
Peter: *snorts* oh, NOW you're thinking your missing something?
Tony, distracted: uh huh, yeah. hey, pass me that screwdriver real quick?
Peter: yeah, catch- *hums* nice. anyway, you're good now.
Tony, confused, and a little scared: ...underoos. what the fuck are you on about?
Peter: take a look at the equation you were following, what you actually did, and what you almost did.
Tony: ...oh my god i almost blew up the lab.
Peter: yeah- *snorts* yeah, you did.
Tony: how did you catch that?
Peter: well, unlike someone in this room, i've actually slept. when was the last time you had a proper meal and like...a minimum of five hours of sleep?
FRIDAY: three days ago, Mr Parker.
Peter, smug: yeah, that's what i thought. thanks FRI, you're my favourite.
Tony: SHE'S YOUR FAVOURITE?
Peter: she tells me the intern gossip if i ask for it. by the way, lab 14D's coffee machine broke, and they sent a repair request that you never answered. they're gonna start a coup if you don't replace that.
FRIDAY: already ordered, boss.
Tony: if the interns start a coup, you're getting the company early. actually, what do you think of-
Peter: if you haven't talked to May, i don't wanna fuckin' hear it.
Tony: ah, yes. aunt hottie.
Peter, flat-faced: *gets up and just starts walking closer*