I’m writing this because when I first started my transition, I worried that most of the trans people I’d meet, binary trans men and trans women, wouldn’t be supportive of me because I’m a medically transitioning non-binary and genderqueer teen.
I’m glad to find that I’ve been welcomed in the LGBT community despite that worry.
I’m an active participant and member of the LGBT community- I came out publicly as gay at 13 and trans at 15, I’ve attended many pride festivals and parades, I’ve been to LGBT youth groups, I’ve attended many trans and LGBT conferences, I’ve presented workshops myself 3 years at LGBT conferences, I’ve been to high school GSAs and college LGBT organizations, I’ve been a guest speaker on trans issues for a panel for doctors at a local hospital, I’ve presented to school nurses and teachers, to police officers and parents, I’ve been to general trans support groups, I’ve been to transmasc lower surgery support groups, I mod a trans advice blog here with 55,000 followers, etc.
I’ve also had my fair share of interactions with professionals, including psychologists, endocrinologists, and surgeons. I’ve always been open about being non-binary, and all of these medical professionals have been totally supportive of it.
So yeah, I have some “trans experience“ if you will.
But after I first posted about being non-binary and starting testosterone, I got a lot of truscum in my inbox telling me that I would regret it and I’m taking resources from “real trans people” and so on.
This negative reaction is something that I’ve never encountered from other trans people and medical professionals IRL. I’ve found that the vast majority of trans people are totally chill with non-binary folk. I’ve never, ever had another trans person refuse to use my pronouns, or tell me that I shouldn’t be medically transitioning. And none of the medical professionals I’ve seen second guessed me or my goals or said I wasn’t valid.
Yep, I’ve seen many psychologists (some who specialize in trans care) and all of them have been respectful of my non-binary identity and written me the WPATH letters I need.
Yep, I’ve seen two endocrinologists who were happy to prescribe me testosterone- first at a low dose, as I requested, then at a regular dose as my transition goals evolved.
Yep, I’ve seen a top surgeon who asked me about my pronouns and gender then said “I can leave in as much tissue as you want, you can have a breast reduction, top surgery, or in between, whatever you need.” I explained my goals (sensation and a flat chest) and he respected that, and I got top surgery.
Yep, I’ve seen a surgeon for my hysterectomy and I explained that I’m non-binary and wanted to keep my ovaries in case I decide to go off testosterone but get my uterus removed, and he said “Does July work?” And I said it did, and I got a hysterectomy.
Yep, when I walked into the lower surgeon’s office she asked me my pronouns and I said they/them, she asked me my gender and I said non-binary, then she said “Do you want meta or phallo?”. I said I want phalloplasty without urethral lengthening and a vaginectomy. Never did she say “Oh no, it’s not valid to be non-binary and want a penis and vagina.” What she said was “I can do that.”
That isn’t to say that there isn’t any nb-phobia at all, but in my experience, the people who are the best educated about trans issues (medical professionals and other trans people) are supportive of non-binary identities.
While those hateful nb-phobic truscum voices may be loud online, they really don’t represent the vast majority of the trans community at all, or the opinions of the medical professionals who actually treat trans people.
The only issues I’ve ever encountered were with cis laypeople who needed some education about non-binary folk, and truscum + radfems + conservative trolls online- not exactly good company there.
So if you’re a young non-binary person and you’re feeling like you aren’t trans enough, or that you won’t ever have a place in the trans community, I’m here to tell you that you belong.
My version of non-binary may not be the same as yours, but whether or not you want to medically transition, you belong. You belong no matter how you want to present yourself. You belong no matter what pronouns you use. You belong no matter what micro-label you find the most comfortable. You belong with dyed hair, you belong if you’re androgynous, you belong if you’ve switched your labels a few times while figuring yourself out, you belong if you aren’t gender nonconforming, you belong if you’re afab and feminine, you belong if you’re amab and masculine.
If you’re non-binary, you belong in the trans community (if you want to be) and you are trans enough, and you count, and you are valid. Full stop. No exceptions.
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