x

eternal nightmare

[wishing-for-deathx]

Some things break you so fucking bad that you spend the rest of your life wishing you hadn’t survived it. Because death would be better than the pain you have to live with everyday

[poetictooth]

you feel like rest in it’s kindest form

it’s as if all my life i’ve been on this perilous walk, and you’re like finally sitting down

[surqrised]

“So often we try to make other people feel better by minimizing their pain, by telling them that it will get better (which it will) or that there are worse things in the world (which there are). But that’s not what I actually needed. What I actually needed was for someone to tell me that it hurt because it mattered. I have found this very useful to think about over the years, and I find that it is a lot easier and more bearable to be sad when you aren’t constantly berating yourself for being sad.”

— John Green

[desolate-dismay]

It's a very sad life to live when you know that you are only temporary to the ones around you, that no one actually needs you, and that you are simply beneficial, until you aren't anymore..

[thebluewaitingroom]

beyond repair - a poem

He had to convince himself that he wasn’t a criminal stealing her heart, and carelessly losing it. Deep down, he knew what a reckless man he could be and though he knew that she was trying to fix him, he knew he was beyond repair. Her heart was found crushed in the crossfire and she had to convince herself that she was fine living without it.

✰ - k.

[quotefeeling]

“Time always exposes what you mean to someone.”

— Unknown

[terminally-unlikable]

Actually upon further inspection that shit really hurted my feelings

[desolate-dismay]

Sadness consumes the soul, weakens the spirit and tortures the heart. It then leaves the host empty, profoundly unreceptive and maybe even incapable of love. However, you should know, that sadness does not have to triumph. Do not shield your heart, lose your essence, and yield to misery. Find happiness in doing what you love, and in exploring what you desire. Take this time to rest, heal, and reinvigorate your mind. Recapture your sense of wonder and the essence of your being. Be grateful for that which does bring you joy, no matter how small and trivial it may seem. You’re incredible, you’re special, and within you, you’ll find the strength to overcome all that comes your way. Do not give way to sadness and fear, but rather bask in all the qualities that make you remarkable. I believe in you, and your power to persevere!

You deserve everything beautiful that life has to offer. Thank you.

[desolate-dismay]

The only time that I ever held value was when I wasn’t wearing any clothes..

Maybe that’s why I don’t feel beautiful in them anymore

[forlornalbatross]

“People think rejection is painful. But rejection has a body , it shows you exactly where you need to stand. Rejection means the road is closed / do not trespass. Rejection has a shape that tells you it is not your size. But what’s painful is being ignored or “ghosted”. Because this does not speak , it has no sound , no noise - it’s a dead end but you have no idea if it is concluded or just a temporary mirage that you’re stranded somewhere with no other sign because it is foggy & misty. You do not exist that your value & worth were stripped from you & you are naked , unseen , invisible , erased in an open vast space to which anything can harm you or save you. So rejection is where it is a clear indication to steer away while when being ignored is where your titanic heart will soon be pierced by the iceberg of such cruelty - (what I meant by this wickedness is when you are talking to someone then you ignore them without addressing nor give a reason why the communication suddenly dried up but the next time you see them again you acted like nothing had happened thus not only you have put them in a place of being invisible but also invalidates the motive behind why were they even treated as a phantom in the first place - ) & the sad part is or more so a barbaric part is when you are well aware that you are ignoring someone & the repercussion to that act is based on your selfishness instead of an actual self-care. Know the difference. For ignoring someone based on selfishness is when you do not communicate your intention to end things fairly or that things can no longer be fixed that the only way out is to go your own separate ways for the sake of each other’s wellbeing & not just expect the other person to mind read your intention since you’re also continuously giving them a mixed signal that you still want to work things out — on the other hand if you’re ignoring someone based on self-care is simply by having to relay many different options & giving chances to whatever the form of relationship that you’re having with the other person & they are still not willing to meet you half way or respect your decision & boundaries thus it’s necessary to execute the ignore mode since that seems to be your only way out to keep your peace— at the end of the day remember how you wanted to be treated when you act in a selfish ignorant mode to a self care one. Because the consequences of it can be damaging to their mental , emotional , psychological , physical & spiritual well being mostly to the ones you were selfishly intended or even unintended to ignore. We always make our own bed whether we consciously or subconsciously aware or not & we will have to lay on it eventually -”

— D C de Oliveira | From: Hēsychazō, Surdus| January 15, 2023 | Sunday, 4am

[surqrised]

“The ‘what ifs’ and ‘should haves’ will eat your brain.”

— John O Callaghan

[desolate-dismay]

I feel like I don’t belong here in this world.

Everyday is just passing by me. The only thing that runs through my mind is ‘’Survive’’.

But, the sad reality is that I'm not sure how to do that anymore.. Or, if I even want to.. I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired.. Everyone says "put yourself first” then when I do that it’s always wrong or it hurts someone. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I just want to stop hurting and I dont want to have to hurt anyone to do that.

[fromdarzaitoleeza]

{Quotes :Alice Oseman, Radio Silence//R.Arnold}

[desolate-dismay]

The hardest part of letting go is the "uncertainty"

when you are afraid that the moment you let go of someone you will hate yourself when you find out how close you were to winning their affection.

Every time you give yourself hope you steal away a part of your time, happiness and future. However, once in a while you wake up to this realization and you have to hold on tightly to this truth because your heart will tear away the foundation of your logic, by making excuses for why this person doesn't try as much as you.

The truth is this: Real love is simple. We are the ones that make it complicated. A part of disconnecting is recognizing the difference between being desired and being valued. When someone loves you they will never keep you waiting, give their attention and affection away to others, allow you to continue hurting, or ignore what you have gone through for them. On the other hand, a person that desires you can't see your pain, only what they can get from you with minimal effort in return. They let you risk everything, while they guard their heart and reap the benefits of your feelings.

We make so many excuses for the people we fall in love with and they make up even more to remain one foot in the door. However, the truth is God didn't create you to be treated as an option or to be disrespected repeatedly. He wants you to close the door. If someone loves you and wants to be in your life no obstacle will keep them from you.

Remember, you are royalty, not a beggar.

Shannon L. Alder

[resqectable]

“I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.”

— Scarlett O'Hara, Gone With The Wind

[tanzende-marienkaefer-deactivat]

|Es tut so verdammt weh,wenn du spürst, dass sich jemand von dir distanziert und damit super klar kommt,während du daran zerbrichst|

[perfectfeelings]

“She’s never where she is. She’s only inside her head.”

— Janet Fitch, White Oleander