kafka @desvenlaflaxine - Tumblr Blog

Hello my name is kafka

I enjoy dead dove content including: incest, guro, evil (gender neutral), problematic age gaps, rpf, and sexualization of religious institutions

My pronouns are she/he

My ao3 is https://archiveofourown.org/users/desvenlaflaxine

And my twitter is https://x.com/desvenlafaxinee?s=21

And my art blog is @loqendipity

My main fandoms are: おそ松さん/くん and Outer Wilds, but I enjoy other things

#(If you are uncomfortable interacting with me for any reason please feel free to block or mute no hard feelings!!)

csavii

Outerwilds is making me fucking ILL

#oh……..#time buddies #outer wilds #gabbro #hatchling

aiboumatsu

the big Flowey & Toriel & Asgore analysis of the g-route monologue.

TW: post written at 4am with no typo checking; all the usual warnings applying to flowey discussions.

I think a lot about the fact that, out of all the horrible shit that happened to him, Asriel keeps replaying and repeating the "nobody came" thing.

In some ways, I think that this experience is genuinely the real kernel of his PTSD. Not because the other stuff wasn't awful, but because this being made him feel so completely alone and abandoned by his parents in a way he hadn't ever felt before, which just kept being confirmed by everything that followed.

Can we just unpack how fucked it & their family dynamic was.. Please.

The fact that he just stayed there for however long it lasted. And the fact that he explicitly mentions his feelings on the limb issue

Both of these pretty much point to the fact that, by all intents and purposes, he was paralyzed. On account of not being able to move or walk. Also keep in mind that, from his point of view, seconds ago, he was dying. And also 8-12yo.

I feel like if this fandom can read sexual assault symbolism into weirdroute (not unfounded! not unfounded at all!!), i feel like we are grown up enough now to examine the disability angle of Asriel being beaten to death by a mob and then waking up unable to move a single limb & how there's no fucking way that Asgore and Toriel had the emotional stability and support to deal with this well enough to actually help him in any way)

It is implied that he just kept crying for help until he was found, but a considerable amount of time between him waking up and Asgore finding him had passed for him to feel abandoned. Hence it being traumatizing.

Maybe he came back to life at night, and Asgore was asleep for the 5-8 hours Flowey just stayed alone in the garden. The characters in the game do mention "night, day, afternoon, morning" as concepts, so it's safe to assume that there's some sort of an artificial day/night cycle in the underground. Or maybe Asgore was out of the city altogether and instead of hours it was days!

Both possibilities would add on to the already existing kernel of abandonment and estrangement from his parents.

(also look at this neurodivergent minor talking about not having feelings in the same breath as saying things as "i was so scared", "i was crying", and the admitting that he wanted his parents to help him... he might be stupid. thank god average ut fan in 2015 couldnt read )

This moment is so juicy that I want to unpack it for hours and hours, but I don't even know how to. The way he recounts it here feels to me like it's something that's stuck in his mind.

How happy Asgore was that he was back. How everything was going to be alright. But, that's not real, is it? Asgore didn't help him for hours because nobody came. He's a flower and he can't move or walk. His best friend is dead. His parents are divorced and Toriel wants nothing to do with Asgore. It's just an invalidating platitude.

I think that in Asgore's mind this moment was a reunion, or something. Instead of him managing an active crisis situation. A lot of time has passed on his end. When you hadn't seen someone in ages you miss them. He just wanted hug his son and think that finally everything will be alright, I think. But the gap in emotional weight is so different.

The worst day in life of Asriel Dreemurr aged 8-12 ends in a "everything is going to be alright" and his dad crying.

There's a very big gap in perception and timing of this trauma for Asriel vs. Asgore and Toriel. But there's also the gap of time between him being found and him becoming awake.

I know a lot of older trauma-centric Flowey analysis considers PTSD/anhedonia as the culprit, but I'd also like to propose another addendum: I think one of Asriel's main "there is something deeply wrong with me" traumas is his own reaction to his father's emotions.

I think he never thought of himself as someone who wouldn't feel anything about this. But! Once again! Put yourself in his shoes! Why would he feel anything about Asgore's emotions? He's the one that died violently and then spent hours crying for help. I think Asriel might just have passed into the dissociation state of being traumatized at that stage.

Another ~fridge uncomfortable discussion~ i'd like to propose is...

Did Asriel have any relatives/friends besides Chara at all? Who is he talking about here? Because, as far as we know, enough time has passed between his death and his awakening for the events to become a bit mythologized. He woke up years later and 99% of people he even might have known are dead. Did Asgore take him to his friends, like the Holiday family (unless Rudy already died)?

What was his life with Asgore like, anyway? Did Asgore have to spoon-feed him and carry him around? Was Asgore hanging around him 24/7 out of the fear that he would die again? Was Asgore really emotionally stable enough to do all alone, without any support? Did he get Asriel like..... help.... or something?

(the freudan slip of saying "i ran away from home" instead of something more impersonal...)

Was Asriel just like... stuck in a pot, unable to walk or move without his help? Watching Asgore have all those emotions while relying 100% on his care to survive? While also dealing with whatever he felt after learning that his father killed people (which was against Asriel's moral complex at the time as seen from the following dialogue about his own violence—)?

Was there an expectation that things should become normal? Did Asgore vent to him?

I feel like that emotional gap of "this is the worst time of my life because of [literally everything that happened]" and "this is the best time of my life because my son is no longer dead" definitely went unaddressed. And unaddressed long enough that this guy learned how to walk again, fueled by desire to GTFO ASAP.

Where was Toriel, anyway? Did Asgore try to get her to help him with caring for Asriel? Did she refuse?

This is edgyspeak for "I thought my mom could help me".

But more seriously, I really love the way this uses "whole". I think a lot of people who survived trauma feel broken/tainted.

Instead of "she could make me feel emotions" or "she would make me feel" he adds that "whole" here. Another accidental little slip from the narrative he's trying to convince himself of to distance himself from the emotional impact of every horrible thing he's done.

My belief is that a lot of Asriel's neuroticisms & things he conveys to Frisk&the player are an attempt to dissociate from the monster equivalent of being an 9yo liveleak user who keeps posting about how "human life is meaningless and we are all just zeroes and ones/meat/programs".

It's also one of the reasons I refuse to call him "Flowey" in this analysis. Buddy even talks about it like it's an MMORPG username. Get to an age that ends in "teen" first then ill consider calling you that my guy.

This hurts my heart so bad.

I have a lot of thoughts on this too. But I feel like instead of conjecture and personal thoughts, it's more effective to just point something out real quick.! haha

Obviously ut! and dr! Toriels are quite different. ut!Toriel is more overprotective due to losing many kids (can't imagine Asriel liking it!can't imagine him not feeling replaced and disgusted after seeing the children's room with many different-size shoes in it!).

But the fact remains the same — Toriel is not an alcoholic (in deltarune, we do not know how true this is about undertale), but she can go overboard, and it can make her inattentive to her childrens' needs.

Did Asriel ever have to take care of her while still dealing with all of that trauma or was this only an occurrence after his resets started? This fact is never stated. Maybe she remembered his real name due to reset deja vu. But maybe this sort of thing happened while he was still living with her.

Could he, also, yk... blame her and Asgore at least a little for not noticing that something was up with Chara and him and stopping their plan? Maybe I'm overthinking it though.

What really strikes me, once more, about this monologue, is how emotion-driven it is. An emotionless being doesn't "want" to love and care about others.

I think what he wanted was for his life to return to normal. A normal state with both of his parents and his best friend there, where he isn't feeling all this weird resentment towards his parents. But after spending time with both his parents (neither of whom bothered to try and make up with the other one to try and co-parent him so that at least SOMETHING is stable FUCK i cannot do this anymore!) it really sunk in that this is just...

how life is going to be forever, now.

This isn't a Chara & Asriel relationship analysis post, but it really makes sense that he latched onto them even harder.

In his mind, had he listened to them, he wouldn't have become disabled a flower. He also remembered the last times he was happy as having involved them. And they weren't able to disappoint him like Toriel and Asgore.

He doesn't mention it in the monologue, but, of course, there was a lot of self-hate involved in his decision to take his life.

I don't know if... Toriel and Asgore could have prevented that. This analysis isn't about that. But I do think they made a lot of errors that probably prevented Asriel from healing.

(also once again, he is talking about his experience as asriel and his experience as flowey as being the same person. ok ok ok.)

The reason I feel safe suggesting that Asriel was kinda parentified until he kinda killed himself, is that even at the end of the game he prioritizes Asgore and Toriel's feelings over his own, definitely recalling their reactions after he became a flower & his experience living with them. Which genuinely makes me want to gnaw through cement bricks. please papyrus, frisk... fucking save him.

There's really no conclusion to this post beyond "always bet on flowey apologism" but yeah. I hope you can see my vision.

(I feel like we Could examine dr!Asriel and the lowkey helicopter-ish way Toriel is shown to have parented him in that game, together with his implied moral ocd-like qualities.... like Praying Away His Sins After Killing Yoshi In Mario;

We could try to compare it against ut!Asriel's seeming friendliness, what makes him feel broken for being Mad At His Parents, what makes him prioritize his parents' comfort over himself, and what drove their relationship to complete rupture after he became a flower. Could also be interesting to note how not having a Dess&Kris type figure, a "safe" kind of scary & safe gateway to rulebreaking, made him susceptible to Chara, his best and seemingly *only* friend, bullying him into participating in a death mission with them. Could examine how it parallels Noelle's monologue about Susie vs. Noelle in weird route, as well as Noelle's own ideation and dark thoughts and suceptability to the player in the weird route. Safe scary vs. dangerous scary... Both of them being an "angel of the prophecy" in their respective games.... Both having issues with their moms..... But this post is already extremely long and being written while I should be sleeping.

Anyway i hope that in big 2026 I'm not going to be called an abuse apologia chara-hater for saying that a 9-12yo scaring another quivering 9-12yo into assisting their death & then trying to pilot that other kids body to kill people is actually not very wholesome relatable bean .)

#undertale #flowey #flowey…….#jesus christ

aiboumatsu

flowey leaves the underground and the first thing he does is get groomed on the human-monster amino

aiboumatsu

people grooming him online keep trying to get nudes and he keeps being saved by the fact that theres nothing to send

desvenlaflaxine

flowey is convinced to get monster discord and stays up late chatting with groomers and ends up getting caught by frisk

#undertale #flowey #flowey……..

yesimbeatle

noel giving liam lyrics to sing

desvenlaflaxine

@basilettes

#gcest

aiboumatsu

ohhhh true love is real and possible in this world....... "im just scared of heights" "your problems are my problems"

allthingswhumpyandangsty

sorry if this is bothering you, but do you know any media which has canon incest pairings? Like not implied, explicitly canon. Till date, I've only found GOT, and GOT's genre isn't really my thing, so...

incest trope isn't my thing personally so it's not something I actively seek and I can't think of any off the top of my head besides game of thrones right now.

that said, if anyone has any rec for anon, feel free to chime in

aiboumatsu

only one i can think of rn is The Coffin of Andy and Leyley. It's a psychological horror & comedy RPG maker game where you walk around. It has puzzles. Some more casual fans really suck due to how victimblame-y they can get about the protagonist's younger sister.

It's about two siblings, one is 22-23yo and the other is 20-21 from what I remember. They were abused by their mom and reacted in severely different ways to it.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Their relationship is very abusive, but in what ways depends on the route/ending. I would warn for SA and domestic violence in some of the routes where their relationship escalates towards it. In some routes, it's more of a mutual/actually, uh, non-forced thing. The brother is in love with his sister, hates himself for it and dates around trying to pretend he's normal. The sister is not in love with her brother (honestly implied aromantic/asexual) but is willing to "use her body" to keep him around because she thinks nobody will ever love her, due to their mom's abuse. (Hence the SA warning. There is an ending were she sexually assaults her brother after he assaults and bruises her physically while drunk. He also sexually abuses her in that ending.).

As someone with a cluster B personality disorder, I think this game is genuinely really good at representing (unintentionally, since the dev didn't assign any diagnoses they were trying to portray) people with BPD (the sister, Ashley) and ASPD (the brother, Andrew. maybe the sister as well though.). Both of these characters suck badly. I love them.

If anon is a fan of more lighthearted incestmedia, I'd recommend trying out anime/japanese media. There have got to be romance stories somewhere (though it might be a bit porn-y.)

@desvenlaflaxine are you aware of any other incestgems? I'm more new to this incestmedia stuff than you dfjsdlakfjsdlfjaladsf.

desvenlaflaxine

*Cracks my knuckles*

((Most of this will be GL))

Flowers in the Attic by V.C. Andrews:

(the entire dollanganger series if you’re really insane) ((cheesy movies)) follows the horrors of child abuse, neglect, generational trauma, generational incest, growing up locked in an attic, revenge, and brother/sister incest

I highly suggest investing in V.C. Andrew’s as an author because of her propensity for familial incest, as well as the lifetime adaptations of her books and the spin off series focusing on the incest between the parents uncle/niece

Our Love At The Core Of It:

One shot manga following the love between two twins, sister/sister, after being separated during their parents divorce, codependency in the best way possible

Happy End:

Another one shot centering around an older an younger sister, sister/sister ((I have a favorite trope)) and their years from childhood to highschool, very light hearted, the younger sister is a tomboy always protecting her older sister

Contract Sisters:

I’m putting this here because despite the main pairing being not biologically related, the reason the younger sister seeks out a dynamic with another girl playing as her sister is because of her unrequited ((and consummated)) love with her older biological sister, sister/sister

Yamibo: Darkness, The Hat and the Travelers of the Books:

Genuine incomprehensible goings ons here, but basically adopted sister is in love with her sister who doesn’t reciprocate and she has to go on a weird quest with a hat girl witch after her sister disappeared in a magic library, sister/sister

Ran out of allowed images

Ookumo-chan Flashback: Son who begins getting flashbacks from his father of the romance between him and his mother during highschool, not end game but damn if it isn’t full of incest, manga, mother/son, made by the mangaka who made the spit girl manga

Citrus: manga, adopted sisters, we’ve been known this one

Revolutionary Girl Utena: explorations of toxic incestous dynamics between siblings, not healthy not end game, brother/sister

Blood on the Tracks: horror, emotional incest between mother/son, manga, mom kills for her son and just ruins his life

Wuthering Heights: adopted incest, longing never consummated, in the original book movies have sex

Sister my Sister: movie LOOSELY based on the real life killings of a mother and daughter by two sisters who worked as their servants….so loosely it isn’t even really based on the actual events outside of the ending, very dark and dramatic

Honorable Mentions: Crimson Peak, Lolita, Family Chronicles, Twin Peaks,

The most important link: every incest manga, ever

There’s more on my to read list but here are my recommendations currently

#incest mention #recommendations