Peach or pancake, Hawks fat ass or Hawks flat ass? The internet splits in outcry.
His fans faction offābetween the bubble butt truthers and the firm pancake believers.
Is it photoshop or a trick of light? Is it an illusion, a trick of an eye? Something of a phenomenon between the internet breaking over the gold or blue of a dress?
The answer is unclear. Inexplicable. Debated, between the ages of kids on the streets comparing the bounce of their handballs to the shape of Hawks' bubble, to the grandma and grandpas across the streets, adjusting their glasses to squint and ask 'what ass?'
The forums explode. Hawks' rankings and public approval skyrockets. Is it Hawks' FLAT ass or Hawks' FAT ass?
Hawks laughs with talk show hosts, gossips with magazine columns. Cheeky grin and another line about he's certainly eaten enough pancakes to become one, that leaves the world wonderingāis he serious, or is it another joke?
And Hawks will be seen flying across the city from one pancake house to another, enjoying another delectable stack.
Hawks winks in front of cameras too, a juicy ripe peach bitten through in one hand, to announce to the world that he's doing just "peachy" and the cameras will follow him as his unfold to uncover the round shape of his very own peach, as he takes off for another flight.
There are photoshoots of Hawks from all his modeling gigs paired side by side like perfectly realistic detective boards across the web. Snaps of perfectly round globes of flesh shot from high quality camera lens of those who caught a fluttering Hawks across their skies, body hunched over as he lazily passes by. And then there are modeling shoots released on myherogram, some new pair of jeans for Best Jeanist' line and he's so painfully flat from every shot of an angle, every swipe of the postāan arguably perfect flat pancake.
It's the baggy give of his hero costume, it's not Hawks' actual ass.
It's the reality of Hawks' actual ass, the costume just hurries that fact along.
'Hawks got ass. Seen it in person,' HawksPlumpAss writes. 1451 ButtLikes. 578 Rebutts.
'Hawks got no ass. Accidentally brushed past me once and didn't feel a thing. That man is flat as a board,' User AForHawksStandsForAssless writes back. 1454 ButtLikes. 524 Rebutts.
'Pics or it didn't happen,' User HawksOneTrueAss demands. 3769 ButtLikes. 1769 Rebutts.
'Top-hero. Plush ass. You'd best believe,' User HawksUnsuspectingAss writes.
'mfs out here thinking pro-hero hawks has got nothing when he's constantly flying and saving lives...YOU KNOW BIRD BOIS GOT ASS' User HawksBirdAss screams into the void. 2170 ButtLikes. 727 Rebutts.
'Who you calling bird boi like he's yours or smthg???' User HawksOneTrueAss comments. 4069 ButtLikes. 2569 Rebutts.
And then there are those who swear, upon the fan sight meetings of Hawks on the streets that they know ass when they see it. The debate takes the heroic world by a storm, and Hawks never confirms or denies the rumors, never justifies or settles the matter.
On an unsuspecting afternoon after months and months of Hawks peach vs pancake, villain Dabi dubbed user HawksOneTrueAss across the socials, snaps a shot, uploads it. Puts the discussion to rest.
The photo shows what is undeniably pro-hero Hawks' familiar golden locks, framed against the bare of his muscled back and a pair of ruby red wings. A pair of pants are slipped half way up to his thighs, undeniably plush ass hanging out and scandalously--a purple scarred hand grabs a fist full of the delectable globe, middle finger stuck out.
"Hawks true FAT Ass," User HawksOneTrueAss comments. 6969 ButtLikes. 6969 Rebutts.
The internet goes off its rails.
Shout-out to @hawks-flat-ass for the name that started this to begin with šš
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