be kind to people ✨

all about duskwood | part time writer | full time lover of jake | send me a request :)

[jakesduskwood]

hi! you havent posted in a long while, so i was wondering where you were. i am trying to find active, or at least semi active, duskwood creators. :)

hi!! I’m here! I usually pop up when a new episode comes out for some time :)

honestly, I’m never sure what to post when there’s not a new episode, and I don’t know how many duskwood creators are still active either, but I’m more than happy to talk duskwood/moonvale, always!

[jakesduskwood]

Wow. It has been…a long freakin’ time. The last time I posted was when Episode 2 was released which was over a year ago…and now, I’m posting after finishing Episode 3.

Anyway, SPOILERS BELOW!

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It’s hard to put feelings into words, because with Duskwood, I was all in. Like, I remember the wait from episodes 9 to 10, and I literally stayed up to wait for it. I was so excited for episode 10 to come out. And Duskwood will always hold a place in my heart. Every time they announce a new Moonvale episode, I’m like…well, time to play Duskwood for the twentieth time. I want that feeling with MV so badly. Not just for the Duskwood storyline (which is what I’m more drawn to, I think) but for the actual main story. And the things that happened at the end of Episode 3 definitely have potential to make me more excited. But I miss that Duskwood feeling.

First, I’ll start with the Moonvale storyline. I have always had the idea, coming into this, that when it was all done, I would replay the game without the Duskwood side story and romance Eric, because I did really like him in Episodes 1 and 2. However, after he literally became a whiny bitch in Episode 3 (and then disappeared??), I much rather prefer to romance Charlie (even though I kind of feel like a home-wrecker in his relationship with Julie?!).

But Charlie’s awesome. I love the conversations we had with him. His ideas. Our executions. We would make a lovely pair if I wasn’t already taken by a hacker. And Ash—I absolutely love. She’s giving the relationship I had with Jessy in Duskwood, and I hope we become best friends with her by the end of it. Maybe me, her, and Jessy can go on friend dates somewhere between DW and MV.

The story…I don’t think the body at the end is Adam’s. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that it’s Sophia. Or that the guy Ash texted at the end has something to do with it. There’s a lot of characters popping up that I feel like I don’t know what to do with yet. I also don’t really know what to make of Violet yet because I feel like we haven’t had many conversations with her. Also, wasn’t there another guy Eric was supposed to call in Episode 1? What happened to him? Is tbh at who Ash is talking to, or even Eric?

Now, onto Duskwood…we got so much from the Duskwood characters in this episode, it almost felt like I was playing it again. It felt like it was being incorporated into the main story. Like, how long is the playthrough if you’ve never played Duskwood before? I’m curious. It was so refreshing to see our favorite characters again and get to talk to them. I know it’s only been a few days in game play, but in actuality, it’s been years, so I was very happy to see them.

The ending??? I mean, I’m not going to say it’s never crossed my mind that Richy would be alive. It definitely has. I just didn’t know that was the way it was going to go, and especially so early on. But I do think Jake rescued Richy from the mine, which is how Cleo thinks we’re going to find him. I just want to talk to our favorite Hacker again. Seeing his picture in the group chat was a bit of something we’re just going to have to wait for.

Hopefully, it won’t take another year, but I do understand if it does because I know a lot goes into making these episodes, and this was definitely a long one. But that just makes me think how old I’ll be by the time Moonvale and the Duskwood story is complete, haha.

Anyways, thoughts, feelings, concerns? How did you like Moonvale E3?

[jakesduskwood]

I’m back after a long few months to confirm I did in fact finish my first playthrough of Episode 2 of Moonvale; let’s talk about it!!

SPOILERS BELOW!

I will say…I did like that there was a premium pack at the beginning of the episode—didn’t so much like that it’s PER episode when Duskwood’s was overall, but it’s still better than Episode 1 where I had to use gems for everything.

Let’s talk about the stories—

Moonvale; I’m getting more into the story now that we’re in Episode 2. We’re starting to learn more about the characters and I am intrigued by Unknown. Also—I feel like posting the story was a really fun edition to the game because that’s not something we were able to do in Duskwood and we were able to chat with others beyond just the scope of Moonvale. I DO really like Charlie. I just think it would help if more of these characters had real people so I felt connected to them. The episode did feel slightly longer than usual—which isn’t a bad thing—and there were definitely videos that I feel moved the story along and were intriguing.

Duskwood; I feel like we got a really good chunk of Duskwood content in this episode. The unsent messages and the video from Cleo and Dan—and even being able to message Nymos (even though he can’t message us back) brought back feelings of playing those ending Episodes from Duskwood that we all loved so much. I’m still more attached to the Duskwood characters than the Moonvale characters but maybe that will change as more Episodes come out (or maybe it won’t and I will never leave Duskwood). I know this is a different story and I have to keep reminding myself—but I can’t forget how I felt playing Duskwood for the first time.

Anyway—I did like Episode 2 more than the first Episode and I’m excited to find out where it goes from here.

Also—I haven’t been here in a while. What do we do in between Episodes? Are we still interested in talking Moonvale/Duskwood/Jake while waiting? I’ve missed writing MC/Jake but that feels like a lifetime ago (or at least a game ago) 🥲

Tell me your Moonvale thoughts/theories! Let’s chat 😁

[jakesduskwood]

even statues crumble if they're made to wait

Pairing: Jake x Fem!MC

Genre: Post-Episode 10 Duskwood, Post-Episode 1 Moonvale

Words: 8,916

Summary: It's been three months since the explosion in the mine. Three months since Hannah was found. And MC's accepted that Jake is never coming back. When she gets roped into another missing person's case, it makes for the perfect distraction. Jake is dead. It's fine. That is, until she finds herself on the phone with Alan Bloomgate who says he has something to show her. But it's fine. Jake is dead.

Until he's not.

EPISODE-1 MOONVALE SPOILERS AHEAD (MAYBE)!

[ A/N: Hello! :)

I know it's been a while since I've done this, but I finished Moonvale Episode 1 and if you've seen the ending (and used its Duskwood code), you know what happened and how excited I was to receive that bit of Duskwood. So, I took it and ran with it, and out came this extremely long fic. I did not proofread this as it took me literally almost 12 hours to write so it is completely and 100% me and my love for Jake and I hope you love it.

Side note: I suck with anything related to timelines, so I made one up on my own. I know Episode 1 of Moonvale takes place over the course of a day or two, but for the purpose of this fic, it made sense to make it longer, so it's not a typo, or me losing my mind, it's just the way my brain processed this.

Enjoy! :) ]

It’s been three months since the explosion in the mine.

Three months since Richy had been killed. Three months since Hannah was rescued. Three months since I had last spoken to Thomas or Cleo or Lilly or…or Jessy. I didn’t blame her then and I don’t blame her now. Any of them, really. I didn’t share the bond they had with each other. I wasn’t from Duskwood. It didn’t matter that we’d experienced a tragedy together—and yes, perhaps them more than me, but I loved Richy too. I had lost Richy too. And Jake—

But mostly, I think they just wanted to forget. To move on. They didn’t want to remember that their friend had been capable of…of that. And I was a constant reminder of that to them. So I understood why we didn’t necessarily talk anymore.

The one person I did keep in contact with from Duskwood, oddly enough, other than the occasional update from Alan Bloomgate, was Dan. We weren’t best friends or anything, but he allowed me to check in on our friends in a way that I didn’t know how to do with anyone else. Maybe because I thought he was the least affected among them. I knew he cared about Hannah, but he wasn’t to her what Thomas or Cleo or Lilly were. And he wasn’t to Richy what Jessy had been.

I’d learned from him that Thomas and Hannah had broken up. There was no bad blood, but Thomas hadn’t quite figured out how to accept the things he’d learned about his girlfriend when she’d been gone, and Hannah hadn’t quite figured out how to re-trust someone after Richy. Even if that person was Thomas. But I’d hoped they would find their way back to each other in the end.

I thought about reaching out to Jessy every once in a while—even just as an apology for everything that had happened. I’m sorry that Hannah was found at the expense of Richy. I’m sorry that he did this to you. I’m sorry I didn’t realize it sooner. We should have. We should have. We should have. I miss you. But I never send it. I’m not all that sure she’d respond anyway.

Cleo and I were never all that close. She has her best friend back, so I think she’s probably as okay as she can be. Helping Hannah find a new kind of normal in a time where her childhood friend had kidnapped her in order to prove a point. I don’t know how you come back from that—I don’t know how you come back from knowing that you killed somebody at all.

I hadn’t found the courage to ask if somebody had told Hannah about Jake.

Not that I think it would matter anyway. I hadn’t heard from him since before the explosion in the mine, which was, like I said—three months ago. I waited the appropriate amount of time—twenty-five days—before I broke down and concluded that maybe he hadn’t survived. Which just piled a shit-ton of guilt onto my shoulders because it was supposed to be me in that mine. He had gone in place of me and now he was dead.

It was the only explanation that made sense. I was used to Jake disappearing for days at a time, but never as long as he had been now. And he didn’t seem like the type to tell me he loved me and then leave without a single explanation. Not unless he had to. But it had been three months and as much as I missed him, as much as my chest ached with the thought that we would never eat Chinese food out of shitty motels and have that on-the-run ending we talked about, I had accepted that he wasn’t coming back.

I wonder if he had known about Richy or if he had died still thinking Michael Hanson was the one who had kidnapped Hannah. I wonder if his last thoughts were of me. Maybe it’s selfish, but I kind of hope they were, because I’m pretty sure I’ll think about him for the rest of my life.

I wonder what it would have felt like to run my hands through his hair. To kiss him. To spend every waking moment with him and know it was because I loved him. Because I would have. Talking to Jake became about more than just finding Hannah. It became a part of my day I looked forward to more than anything else. He confided in me in a way that told me he never had with anyone, maybe not even Hannah, and I needed that from somebody. I needed somebody to trust in me the way that Jake did. I needed somebody to love me the way that Jake did.

It was strange—and maybe a little ironic—the thought that something so beautiful could come out of something so tragic.

Anyway, my point is: it’s been a long couple of months. Of thinking about my friends. Of thinking about Jake. Of wondering if I should have done things differently. I should have gone to Duskwood to help. Not even with the mine, but sooner. I could have. I could’ve gone when Jessy was attacked on the way home. I could’ve gone when the group made plans to cut out of town and hide away in the house Richy had found. Selfishly, I should have. In that moment, when they were settled around the fire and Lilly called me, I had never remembered wanting anything more. I should have grabbed Jake—metaphorically, maybe even literally—and rode it out with them to the end.

I don’t stop missing them after three months. Of wishing things could have been different. Wishing I could have done more. But exactly ninety-five days after the explosion in the mine, seventy days since I had accepted that Jake was never coming back, twenty-two days since I had last heard from anybody from Duskwood (Dan included), my phone dings with a new message.

And the cycle starts all over again.

It’s somebody named Eric, who claims he needs my help to find his friend Adam, who disappeared while he was waiting for a ride in someplace called Redlog Pines. And much like with Duskwood, I have never heard of Redlog, and the case reminds me way too much of Thomas’ first message to me, so much that it makes my chest ache, but I can’t say no because there’s somebody missing, and if I’d say no the first time, God knows where Hannah would be.

So, I say yes, and I help out where I can, and Eric decides he needs to bring about four more friends in on his little plan and I try my best to stay emotionally unattached because I remember everything that happened the last time and I can’t go through that again. I offer up information when I can and keep my words short and careful because I’m not ready to get attached to somebody else I know I might never meet.

I know how this ends.

Two days in, Ash, one of Eric’s friends, brings up my Duskwood past and the unhealed wound I’ve been trying to mend breaks open again. She asks about Richy, and about the mine, and then because I’m me and I can’t help myself, I tell her about Jake. She tells me the news never mentioned another body and I shove that thought to the back of my head because hoping for something that will never come true will kill me.

Four days into Adam’s disappearance, and the police not giving a shit—as Charlie, somebody who reminds me far too much of Richy for comfort, points out—my phone beeps with an incoming call from somebody I haven’t spoken to in a while.

“Go for [MC].” I answer my phone.

Ever since Hannah had been found in the mine and Jake had…you know, my phone had been more silent than I’d gotten used to. Until this new case. But even that—it was only a few days old and I didn’t want to go down the same path with them that I did with my friends in Duskwood. We didn’t really know each other that long, sure—even though sometimes it’d felt like it—but it felt like I’d finally been a part of something. Like, I had found these people who had chosen me for me.

And originally, maybe they had. Maybe they’d had every intention of keeping me around, but then Richy was the Man Without A Face and Alan Bloomgate had rescued Hannah and nothing was the same as it had been when we’d met each other. We knew too many secrets about each other by the time the town settled. Secrets we would have to take to the grave.

Or maybe I’m losing my mind a bit and I had really only been a means to an end.

Either way.

“Alan?” I raise my voice when there’s nothing but breathing on the other end of the line. “Did you mean to call me?”

His tone is clipped. “I found something.”

“You found something.” I repeat.

My heart clenches. For all I know, it might fall into my stomach. As far I know, from watching the news, from what Ash told me, Jake’s body was never found. Richy’s was. Or what was left of him to find, anyway. I had assumed that there just hadn’t been enough of Jake left. The thought left me nauseous, but it was better than hoping for something I knew I could never have.

“I’m sending it to your phone now.” He responds. “Let me know what you think of this.”

And then he hangs up.

That was a riveting conversation, I think as my phone dings with a message. I do my best to ignore my other messages—contacts from Duskwood I’m still not ready to acknowledge—and click Alan Bloomgate. He sent me a video that looks like—oh God.

Immediately, I’m overcome with emotion as an all-too-familiar forest pops up on my phone. It’s a video of Alan’s bodycam footage. He’s searching the Duskwood forest. A forest I’ve seen too many times in the background of other video calls.

I watch as he stumbles upon an object that’s too dark to make out at first. When he gets closer, it’s clear that it’s a backpack. It’s simple. Black. Nothing about it that screams this is mine and I left it here about anybody in particular. You stupid, stupid idiot, I tell my heart when it rattles against my chest in hope. He’s dead.

Alan stands and treks away from the backpack—I want to scream at him to go back, to open it and look through it and tell me if it’s what my heart aches to believe, but I can’t, because this is a video and I’m simply watching with wide eyes, waiting for…for something. But then. But then, he moves further into the forest and I watch as he stumbles upon an object that makes my knees tremble and tears rush to my eyes and my hands shake. A black hoodie. It looks like it’s been through hell, with holes scattered up the sleeves and dirt cakes into the hood, but it’s unmistakably his.

And then—Alan lifts the hood and picks up something that makes me sink to my knees with a sob that wracks my entire frame. Because I’m staring at Jake’s mask. The mask he doesn’t go anywhere without. The mask that protects him. And so my relief is short-lived, because I realize that even if he’s alive—which seems like a very big possibility at this point—he’s alive without the things that he needs to survive.

And then the anger kicks in. Because if he’s been alive, on his own, for three months—why has he not contacted me? Unless he survived the mine but he didn’t survive the after. But that didn’t make any sense. So, okay, he wasn’t dead. But that didn’t make any sense either. He told me he wouldn’t let them catch him. Because catching that meant he would be apart from me. Did something happen that prevented him from being able to reach out and tell me he was at least okay? A quick text that said didn’t die in the explosion in the mine, you don’t need to mourn me, by the way, going off radar for another year. Did he think I would have given up on him?

I wipe my eyes and shoot a message to Alan.

ME: Recently?? Did nobody search the forests before?      

ALAN: Searched the forests for what, [MC]? The logical assumption seemed to be that if anybody was inside the mine when Richy set the fire, they would have perished alongside him. Officers were stationed outside every known entrance and exit. Besides, after the story you and your friends spun around this town, do you think anybody would have gone back into its forests?

ME: But it’s possible?

ALAN: I would say these items had been there for some time. But I would say it is likely he ditched them when he fled the mine, yes.

Another sob tears through my throat. Jake is alive. I don’t know quite what that means for us as of now, but I know it’s the best news I’ve heard since Hannah was found. Jake is alive. He’s out there somewhere. And even if it’s been three months, and even if I’m a little bit mad at him right now, I know that if he was here, I would throw my arms around his neck and hold on to him until someone dragged me off, and even then—I would fight kicking and screaming.

I close out of my messages with Alan and pull up a conversation I haven’t had the heart to look at in quite some time.

ME: Jake’s alive.

LILLY: …

LILLY: Have you spoken to him?

ME: Alan called. He found some of Jake’s things in Duskwood. I don’t know a lot of details. But I know he made it out of the mine.

Lilly types for a long while, but she doesn’t respond. I don’t take it personally. I think it’s probably hard for her to be happy that her brother’s okay while also trying to accept that her sister may never be okay again. Her sister, who had once-upon-a-time been kind-of-sort-of in love with their brother she didn’t know she had. I think that would probably mess with any family’s heads. And on top of all that, you throw in manslaughter and a kidnapping. I wouldn’t wish anybody, not even my worst enemy, to have had to go through what the Donforts had.

When it becomes adamant that Lilly isn’t going to respond, I start scrolling through messages with the rest of the group in Duskwood. I click on Jessy. I’m here if you need me. That had been the last thing I sent to her, a couple of days after Richy’s death. She hadn’t responded. I click out of Jessy’s contact and click on Thomas’ instead. Thank you for everything. That had been his last message to me after we found Hannah. I’d liked it. I hadn’t expected at the time it would be the last thing we’d ever say to each other. I click out of Thomas’ and click on Richy. So, you want to turn yourself in? I’d asked. That was before he called me. Before he lit a match and burned himself and the mine to the ground. Some people would call that heroic. I mostly call him a coward.

I click on Jake’s name. It’s been a while since I read messages between the two of us. Maybe before I had accepted—thought—he was dead. In that twenty-five-day period when I’d hoped with all I’d had that he would come back. I love you. That was the last message he sent me. I’d responded with I love you too, Jake. Then, four days later: Are you okay? A week later: Jake, please, you’re starting to scare me. I know you said you would contact when you could, but it’s been a week. After twenty-five days, when I had finally accepted our fate, I’d sent one final message: I hope you know that I love you, and I will always care about you, but I think it’s time for me to move on. I’m so sorry that I sent you into the mine. It should have been me. And I will probably feel the guilt from that for the rest of my life. Thank you for everything. Take care of yourself, wherever you are.

After that, I had closed out of our messages and hadn’t looked back. Partly because I couldn’t bear the pain of it. It felt like I had given up on him. I hadn’t—if I had thought for a second that he was alive, if I knew then what I know now, I would have never sent that message. But holding out hope for somebody who I thought was a ghost at the time? That was slowly killing me.

It’s only then that I notice the screen flickering. Much like the way it used to whenever Jake would hack into my phone. I don’t think he’s much in the mood to be hacking right now, but somehow, I know it’s him. When had he done this? Recently? If I had opened our messages, would I have seen this ten—twenty—even fifty days ago? It hadn’t looked like this the last time I texted him. Did he see my last message about needing to move on? Was that why he hadn’t reached out to tell me that he was okay? Because he thought I was moving on happily without him?

No, my brain supplies. He wouldn’t. He would reach out anyway, because he knows how much the thought of him not being okay would have destroyed you.

The screen flickers once more and then a message pops up, bright and blue-tinted and clear as day on my phone.

[MC]

I WILL FIND YOU

And the world around me shifts.

--------------------------------------------------

Maybe it sounds crazy, considering I’ve never seen his face before, but I always thought that if I’d ran into Jake one day, maybe on the street or at one of those motels he stayed at or maybe even in Duskwood, surrounded by all our friends, I would know it was him. I would, because it’s him, and it’s me, and we’re the only two people who understand each other quite the way we do.

I still believe that.

I believe it when I book my flight to Duskwood (or rather, twenty miles outside of town, which is the closest airport). I believe it when I board the airplane and find a seat next to a mother with her screaming child and when I shoot off a quick text to Eric to let him know I’ll be MIA for the next few hours, but to message me if he needs anything—and I think about how much easier this case would probably be to solve if we had Jake.

Maybe it would have been harder to find Hannah without me, but I know damn well they would’ve never found her without Jake.

Dan picks me up from the airport. I haven’t told the others yet. Something about it felt off—like I shouldn’t message them and say hey, I know we haven’t spoken in a while, but I’m booking a flight to look into why my maybe-slash-not-really boyfriend left his belongings in a forest we really wish we could forget about, and by the way, can I crash at your place?

It’s quiet on the car ride back into town. I’m looking through my messages from Eric and the group from Redlog Pines and thinking about how I’m Duskwood with this group and I want so badly to laugh because it’s ironic, but Dan wouldn’t understand. He might just call me crazy. Better yet, he would ask how I manage to get myself into these situations, and really, I don’t have an answer for him.

“How have you been?” I ask, just to break the tension, as Charlie, in my messages, tries to persuade his friends to head back into that creepy cave in the middle of the forest. He’s going to get someone killed, I think.

Dan looks over at me. “Are you still with Hackerman?”

My chest squeezes. “His name is Jake, Dan. And we were never really together.”

“Hm.” He nods like he doesn’t quite believe me. “You already know mostly everything that’s been happening here. Thomas and Hannah called it quits. They say it was some mutual decision, but it’s hard to find them in the same room together. Jessy hasn’t been out with us since. I think we remind her too much of Richy. The group’s all changed.”

“And you?” I ask.

He gives me a cheshire-like grin that doesn’t quite meet his eyes. “I’m always the same.”

We make it to Duskwood just as the sun’s going down. Much too late for me to try and trek through the forest and retrace the steps Jake might have taken that night. Not that I think it would help give me any clues as to where he might have gone, but mostly because I wonder if it will make me feel closer to him. We’ve never been in the same place before, and even if he’s not there now—he once was.

“Can you drop me at the police station?”

Dan blinks. “The police station.”

I nod. “Yeah.”

“We answered their questions for weeks, [MC]. I don’t think anything you have to tell them at this point is going to help. The investigation’s closed. Everybody knows Richy did it. He died with the fire in the mine. Everybody’s trying to move on from that.” He works his jaw. “Did you come here to open old wounds after all this time?”

I try not to show the hurt look on my face. “This isn’t about Richy. Look, Alan called me. He asked if I could look at some things. I figured it was better for me to do it in person. That’s it. Nothing to do with Richy. Nothing to do with Jessy. Nothing to do with you.”

He sighs, and I’m not entirely sure he’s going to abide by my wishes until we pull in front of a tiny building—tinier than most—that says Duskwood Police on the sign. Duskwood must not have that much crime. Well, not until this, I suppose.

“Thank you.” I tell him as I reach over to undo my seatbelt and climb out of the car. “This is a nice ride, by the way.”

He raises a hand in some mock-salute. “Need me to pick you up?”

“Nah.” I shake my head. “Think I’ll explore the town for a little bit.”

“Suit yourself.” He shrugs and then he’s off.

I square my shoulders and take a deep breath before opening the door to the police station. It wasn’t like Alan asked me to come down here. He hadn’t. Even during the investigation into Richy’s death and Hannah’s kidnapping, when he questioned us, he never asked me to come to Duskwood. We’d done way too many video calls and phone calls and at one point, I had asked if he thought it would be easier for me to come to Duskwood, to which he responded back, are you ready for that?

No, I hadn’t been. I’m not even so sure I was now. But knowing that Jake was alive, that here was the last place was, I had to try.

“Can I help you?” The woman at the front desk asks.

I clear my throat. “I was wondering if I could speak to Alan Bloomgate. I’m one of—I was involved in the Hannah Donfort case. My name is [MC].”

Her eyes widen. “Give me a moment.” She stands and heads to some back office—which looks to me more like a closet—and then returns with a clipped smile. “He’ll be right out.”

Apparently, she isn’t lying, because not two minutes later, Alan is stepping out from the same door and staring me down. I hold his gaze and hope it says that I’m not here to argue. I will tell him my truth, but only my truth, not Hannah’s, not Jake’s, not anybody else’s.

“I was wondering when I would see you.” He says.

I shrug one shoulder. “Isn’t a few months later better than never?”

“Let’s go into my office.” He says, and leads me around the desk and back into the closet space he had come out of. He sits behind the desk and motions for me to take a seat opposite him. “I’m just going to guess you’re not here to talk about Miss Donfort.”

“I want to see them.” I tell him. “His things. I want to see them for myself. And whatever you want from me in return, I’ll give to you.”

“You’re playing a dangerous game here, [MC].”

“He isn’t a game to me.” I snap back and then sit back and try to relax. “I appreciate that you called me. It’s—I helped you find Hannah. I would do it again. Even with knowing the things that we do now, I would do it all again. That’s how much that group means to me. That’s how much he means to me. I’m not asking you to break any rules or to lie for him or to—to let him hide in your basement for the next five years. I’m just asking you to show me what you found.”

He stares me down for a moment. Then, he sighs, says “wait here for a minute” and disappears to another room. When he comes back, it’s with an evidence bag in his hand filled with the objects I saw on his bodycam footage. My breath hitches in my throat.

“I can’t let you touch them.” He says as he lays them in front of me.

I stare into the eyes of the mask. “Did you tell anybody that he’s alive?”

“I don’t know that he’s alive,” is all the answer he gives, which is an answer to my question. I slide my gaze down to the black hoodie, to the dirtied sleeves and muddy hood, and think about the fact that Jake wore this. I’m so close to him.

And yet I’ve never been further away from him.

“Thank you.” I tell him. “For—for this. And for listening to me about Hannah. If you hadn’t, I—I don’t know what would have happened. How much longer he would have gone on for. If he would have ever stopped.”

Alan’s silent for a minute. Then, he clears his throat. “You know, it was strange to me. Both Hannah and yourself swore to me that neither of you knew the other.”

“I don’t.” I swear.

It was one of the (albeit many) things that didn’t make sense to me. How Hannah got a hold of my number. How she sent it to Thomas. She’d told Alan she hadn’t really remembered texting him my number at all.

“I believe you.” He reassures. “I just think it’s strange. One mistake, if you can call it that, and you throw yourself into a missing persons case to help a stranger.”

“They’re not strangers.” Even though Hannah is kind of still a stranger.

“But they were.” Alan reasons. “You had no reason to say yes to helping Thomas. I doubt anybody would have held it against you if you turned the other way. But you decided to follow this until the end. To make sure they found Hannah. And you care about them. Maybe that’s why I find that I’m more lenient with you than maybe I should be. Why you’re sitting across from me right now calling the shots. Why I’m not asking you about the hacker.”

“I wouldn’t tell you if you did.” I look him in the eye so he knows I’m telling the truth.

He returns my gaze. “Maybe that’s the other reason.”

“Hm.” I acknowledge before I turn my gaze away—from him, from the objects that I know belong to Jake and it takes everything in me not to snatch them up and run. “Well. Thank you for allowing me to steal some of your time. For letting me—” I cut myself off before I say something that makes me break down in a fit of tears in front of him. “—just thank you.”

Leaving the station is easier than coming in. I’m still not any closer to knowing where Jake is than I was when I arrived here, but there’s a comfort in knowing he walked these streets. I wonder what he would think if he knew I was here. He hadn’t wanted me to come to Duskwood when everything was happening…but now that it was over, would he be happy that I was here? That I had come to Duskwood to piece together where he might have gone? Would he track my location and come to find me and…or was I grasping at straws?

It felt like I had just gotten him back. Not really, not entirely…but knowing that he was alive, that he was out there somewhere, maybe thinking of me and looking for ways to come back, to live the life we talked about when he asked me if I was sure…that was worth it. The thought that we could maybe someday have that—even if it was a twenty percent chance.

I check my phone again to see a new message from Ash. She’s asking me if I’ve heard from Charlie in the last few hours. Apparently, he’s AWOL, and I want to help, really, but…it doesn’t really feel like that’s where I am at the moment. Not just physically—obviously—but mentally. We got lucky with Hannah. And that was really only because we had Jake. Adam didn’t have a Jake. Or…maybe he did and I just hadn’t met him yet. But I already had a Jake and I didn’t want another one.

Maybe—if I found him, I could convince him to help. That was a big maybe. Not because I thought Jake would say no. He would say yes to anything I asked of him. The maybe was whether or not I could find him. More likely, the maybe was whether or not he would find me.

Three months ago, I would have been able to come to Duskwood and have no shortage of things I wanted to do and people I wanted to see. Now, as I stand outside Duskwood’s police station, I feel nothing but loneliness. Nobody knows I’m here. I could pass Thomas on the street and he wouldn’t even know it. I could run into Jessy at the library and she would walk by me without even a second thought. Why would they? I hadn’t told them I was here.

So, with nothing left to do, I walked. Toward the town center. Toward the library that Jessy showed me on our walk through Duskwood. Toward the Rainbow Café where I knew that Cleo and Hannah had spent a lot of their time. Toward the Black Swan. Toward—

Ah, what the hell.

I had nothing better to do and The Aurora seemed like a great place to drown my sorrows. To think about my next steps. To figure out—now that I was in Duskwood—what I planned to do. The thing about Jake being so secretive (and on the run) was that I couldn’t retrace his steps. I wasn’t able to ask if anyone had seen him. One, because he would make sure nobody had. And two, because three months was a long time to forget somebody’s face if you didn’t know who you were looking for.

I pull open the door to the bar and step inside. Immediately, I’m hit with the stench of whiskey and a handful of chatter. Duskwood’s a small town. And The Aurora definitely proves it. The bartenders move melodically around each other, serving patrons on the other side of the bar. If you walk down further, there’s a handful of tables.

And dead in the center is a table with my friends. Or, some of them. Dan and Cleo and Lilly. Could I still call them my friends? Ex-friends, maybe? Acquaintances? I didn’t know what they were. Or how to address them. It wasn’t like we had gotten into a fight. We didn’t stop talking for any reason other than that we did. We stopped talking.

I make a beeline for the bar to avoid a confrontation and plant myself on one of the stools. One of the bartenders—a girl cute with bleach blonde hair and brown Bambi eyes—asks what I want and I channel my inner Dan to order a whiskey—neat.

Looking over my shoulder, I focus on the table of them. On Lilly, who’s smiling at something Cleo said. On Dan, who’s the only one of them who actually knows I’m here. But even he’s focused on the conversation they’re having. It’s strange—to see Dan a part of something I’m not sure he would have been before. It’s nice.

“[MC]?”

I turn my head away from the table of my friends and focus my attention across the bar on someone I should’ve expected to see. “Phil.”

“I thought I recognized your voice from when we talked.” He smiles. “I wasn’t sure, but I saw you staring longingly at them—” He nods towards Dan and Cleo and Lilly. “—and I knew. What brings you around here? I expected you to show up maybe a few months ago, but by now, I thought you’d moved on without us.”

I was tired of the words move on. Like I’d had a choice. Like the people from this town might open their arms and welcome me back into their lives. So I’d been part of the group who’d saved Hannah Donfort. So had a lot of people. It didn’t make me special and everyone here knew it.

I offer him a smile in return. “I’m looking for somebody.”

“Anybody I know?” He asks.

I shake my head. “Nah. At least nobody you would recognize.” I pause. “How’s Jessy?”

“She’s—Jessy.” He answers, like that is an answer. “I don’t know if she’ll ever really be okay with the way things happened with Richy. I wouldn’t expect her to. Obviously. But I don’t know. I think I just thought she would have gone back to her normal life by now. And then I remember that most of her life revolved around him. He was her best friend. She worked for him. And I’m trying to be patient about that. But—” He shakes his head. “Maybe you should talk to her.”

“She doesn’t know I’m in town.”

“Okay.” He hums. “So, you’re not in town for my sister. And you’re not in town for your group of friends because they’re over there and you look like you’d rather be anywhere else. There’s always Hannah, but I don’t think you knew her that well. Or at all. Would I be right to assume this is about a certain hacker who helped to find Hannah?”

“He didn’t help find Hannah.” I defend. “He was the entire reason we found Hannah. I would have never been able to do it on my own. Even with the others’ help. He’s the only reason we found out about—” I pause before I say something I maybe shouldn’t. “It doesn’t matter. He’s the only reason we found her. Everything I did was just dumb luck.”

“That wasn’t what the news said.” A voice cuts in and I turn my attention from Phil to focus on the stranger that slides into the seat beside me. Not too close—a couple inches away. I don’t recognize him. I don’t know him. But I don’t know every person in Duskwood. Maybe a total of like nine or ten. “I’m sorry to interrupt. But I heard you had a lot to do with finding Hannah Donfort. The news said you were some kind of hero.”

I offer him a tight smile. “That’s nice of them. But…if they knew my—friend—knew what he did to find her, I don’t think I would be as much of a hero as everybody says.”

“That’s noble.” He says, eyes meeting mine, and it strikes me at once how handsome he is. He has dark hair. Bright green eyes. Focus, [MC]. I scold. You have a…a someone.

My phone buzzes.

ERIC SENT A PHOTO.

ERIC: What do you make of this?

I sigh and click on the photo. It’s of—some object. Much like the one that was addressed to me on the envelope in Adam’s glove compartment. The image is a bit different—but I don’t know enough about what it means to have an answer as to why.

ME: Was this one addressed to me?

ERIC: Nope. Ash.

“Are you okay?” Phil asks.

I clear my throat. “I’m a popular person—apparently.” A thought strikes. “Have you ever heard of a place called Redlog Pines?”

Phil frowns. “No.”

I turn to look at the stranger. “You?”

“Redlog Pines is a small town about two hundred miles north of Duskwood.” He answers. “Known for their wooded forests, much like Duskwood.”

“Why are you looking into a place with forests as creepy as ours?” Phil asks, incredulously. “Didn’t you get enough of that with Hannah’s case?”

“Yeah.” I sigh. “You would think.”

“Hey, [MC]!”

I wince at the sound of Dan’s voice. Shooting Phil a look that screams please help me to which he shakes his head amusedly, I turn and plaster on a fake smile as I take in the shocked looks on Cleo and Lilly’s faces. I should have known better than to come to The Aurora and talk to Phil when the three of them were having a conversation across the room. I should have known they would sooner or later see me. I just hoped it was later.

“Hey.” I hop off my stool and make my way across the bar to them. “It’s, uh, fancy seeing the three of you here.”

“What are you doing here?” Cleo asks.

“I haven’t really figured that out.” My eyes meet Lilly’s. “It sounds crazy to say it out loud. But I was hoping that—I’m not sure if Lilly told you—”

“That Jake’s alive.” Cleo nods. “None of us ever really thought he wasn’t.”

I don’t think she means it as a dig—but it still feels like one. Like she’s saying you gave up on him you gave up on him you gave up on him even though she’s not and she didn’t really know him and the only person I can talk to at this table who even might understand is Lilly and even—Jake didn’t confide in her the way he did me.

“Right.” I acknowledge. “So I thought that maybe if I came here, I could trace his steps from when he was here and—I haven’t really thought that far ahead. It’s not like I thought he left me any clues in the forest or anything like that. I don’t think he expected me to be here. He hadn’t wanted me to be the last time we talked. But that was before everything happened.”

Lilly’s eyes track behind me. “Does Jake still have Nymos on your phone?”

“Uh.” I furrow my brows. “I think so. I hadn’t heard from him in a while, but I went back and read through our messages after I talked to Alan and…my phone glitched, like it used to when Jake had hacked it. And then this message appeared on my screen.”

“And by chance, can Nymos track your location?”

“What—” I shake my head. “Maybe. I don’t think I ever really asked him. It didn’t seem necessary at the time.”

“Uh huh.” She focuses on me once more. “Let’s say, for one minute, that Jake has access to Nymos who has access to your location.”

Cleo must catch onto something I’m not sure of. “Jake didn’t want you here.”

“Uh, thank you?”

“You know that’s not what I mean.” She waves me off. “He didn’t want you in Duskwood. He had been adamant about that when we were talking about the mine. That’s why he went. If you showed up in Duskwood—”

“Nymos would have alerted him.” Dan finishes.

“Okay…” I’m not entirely sure I’m on the same page as them. “So—you think that Jake found out when I came to Duskwood.”

“Correct.” Lilly beams like she just solved life’s greatest mystery.

“And you think he would—come find me?”

She smiles sympathetically at me—like I’m the world’s biggest idiot for not realizing what she has been trying to say sooner. “I think he already has.”

“You think Jake’s in Duskwood.” I deadpan.

“[MC].” Cleo grabs my shoulders and turns me around. “We think he’s in this bar.”

Stranger, as I had nicknamed him—AKA the guy sitting beside me at the bar, with Phil and Redlog Pines (which he probably only knew about because of me) and the whole Hannah being kidnapped and not taking any of the credit thing—was looking back at me. So was Phil. Like they thought I was the crazy one. Like it would’ve been so hard for him to look and me and say it’s me or anything that might have clued me into the fact that—

“Jake?” I whisper, because I’ve lost quite a bit of sleep over the past couple of months and I’m not one hundred percent sure what—or who—I’m seeing is real. “Are you here?”

He tilts his head and smiles at me. Actually smiles. A bit shyly, like it’s something he’s not used to doing, but maybe like it’s something he could get used to. And I think about how terrible I probably look right now because I’m not wearing makeup and my hair is tousled from constantly pulling at it and my clothes are wrinkled from the plane and the police station and I look like a mess. But our relationship has never been about looks. Clearly. I didn’t even know the person I’d been talking to until Lilly and Cleo and even Dan pointed out the obvious.

“If I—” I close my eyes and open them again. Nope. Still there. “I need you to still be there by the time I reach you because it’s been a—” I sniffle. “—it’s been a rough few months and I don’t think I could handle you disappearing again.”

He stands from the stool he was sitting on and shuffles his feet. Like he’s not quite sure where he’s supposed to stand. If he thinks about moving, I’ll tackle him onto the floor of The Aurora and then apologize to Phil later. It feels like everything I wanted is right here in front of me. And I’m scared to death that it’s not real.

“What’s one thing you would take with you if you were stranded on an island?”

His smile stretches. “My computer.”

And that—that’s what breaks me. I think I might start blubbering like an idiot but I don’t remember the time it takes for me to cross the measly twenty feet between us. All I remember is grabbing his black hoodie—because of course—and dragging him to me. I don’t kiss him, despite how much I want to, because I don’t want our first kiss to be tainted with my snot and tears. Instead, I bury my face in his collarbone and wrap my arms around his neck and hold on for dear life.

Because I can. Because he isn’t dead.

“Y—You’re here.” I pull back and cup his face with my hands. “How are you here?”

“You came to Duskwood.” He responds, and then—hesitantly—he presses his lips to my forehead in a kiss. “Alan called you.”

“He found your things in the forest.” I whisper back. “He said they’d been there a while. The police hadn’t searched the forest because they assume you died in the mine.”

“They aren’t looking for me here.” He confirms. “I didn’t expect it to take so long for them to find my belongings, but I anticipated that you would find out. At the time, it wasn’t safe for me to reach out and contact you. They kept on my trail for a while before they assumed I died in the mine with Richy.”

“Why didn’t you contact me then?” I ask. “Is it because of what I last messaged you? I didn’t mean it—I swear, I thought you were dead. If I had known you were alive, I would have waited, however long it took. I wasn’t trying to give up on you.”

“Hey.” He places both hands on either side of my face. “I know. I know that, [MC]. That was never why I didn’t reach out to you. I know you said you wanted this life with me. But I didn’t want that for you. But I was selfish. I couldn’t let you go. So I was trying to find a way to make both of those things true. But I was always coming back to you.”

“And did you?”

“Come back to you?” He asks.

I sniffle. “Find a way to make both of those things true.”

“Not entirely.” He admits. “Nymos alerted me you had boarded a plane headed in the direction of Duskwood and I—” He shook his head. “I knew I would find you here.”

“You could have found me sooner.”

He lets go of my face and he feels like he takes my skin with him. “It wasn’t that easy.”

“It could have been.” I demand.

I’m angry again. Now that I know he’s alive and okay and that he could have found me, I’m angry that he didn’t. I told him I would choose that life with him. Over and over and over. He didn’t need to make the decision for me. He didn’t need to try and protect me. And yes, maybe the fact that he did makes my heart flutter a tiny little bit, but that’s besides the point.

“I told you before you left me.” I tell him and I’m aware it sounds like we’ve been in a relationship for five years and I’m aware that everybody in here is watching and listening in on our conversation and they probably all know we’re who we are, two people involved in helping to find the kidnapped Hannah Donfort, and maybe that’s all we’ll ever be in this town. But I would rather be the girl who found Hannah Donfort in Duskwood with him than be me anywhere else. “You told me you would let me go with you.”

“That was before I told you I loved you.”

My heart skips a beat. It screams I love you I love you I love you back, but I say— “What does that have to do with anything?”

He looks somewhat amused. Like he knows I would never hold it against him. It’s clear to both of us that I wouldn’t because even though I’m glaring up at him with my furrowed eyebrows and my lips pouted, I’m still pressed tightly against him. His hands—even though they’ve moved from my face—are now resting on my hips. Pulling my tighter to him. There’s no space in between us. If it was up to me, I’m pretty sure there never would be again.

“[MC].” He says, and oh god I wish he would say my name every day for the rest of his life. “Have I—in the short time we have known each other—ever struck you as the type of person who says I love you? But with you…” His words are a whisper against my lips. “It’s easy to fall back into old emotions with you.”

“I want to be angry with you.” I tell him.

He shakes his head. “No, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t.” I agree. “But I might be if you don’t kiss me.”

He brought one finger underneath my chin and tilted it up until our lips were separated by a fraction of an inch. My eyelids fluttered. I didn’t care that everyone in here was about to see just how much Jake meant to be. I didn’t care because I had waited too long for this. And then—just as I’m leaning toward him to press our lips together, he whispers— “[MC]?”

“Hm.” I acknowledge.

“Who’s Eric?”

My eyelids crack open and I shove at his chest. “That’s what you’re worried about right now? Here I am, in front of you, covered in snot and tears and who-knows-what-else because you’re here right now, and you’re worried about some guy I don’t even know?”

“Who’s Eric?” He repeats.

“Ugh.” I run my hands through my hair and take a step back. “I don’t know. He’s the other side of Thomas or whatever you want to call him. If we lived in a different town.” I glare back at him and try not to admit that I think his jealous side is a little cute. “He messaged me. Thought I picked up his friend from some parking lot and I didn’t, but his friend sent him my number, and it was Hannah all over again. I’m trying to help them.”

“This Adam has been sending you a lot of videos.”

“You know I hate when you hack my phone.” I complain, even though I really don’t. Even though I had prayed for him to help me with this case. “I really don’t know Adam. Like—even less than I know Eric.

“But you know Eric.”

“For like a week.” I reassure. “He added me to this group chat with him and like three other friends of his. They’re desperate to find Adam who has apparently dropped off the face of the earth and I don’t know what to do. I had you with Hannah’s case. And you knew her. And they—” I look over my shoulder at Cleo and Dan and Lilly, who are pretending like they’re not listening in even though I know and Jake knows they are. “—they knew her. And obviously Adam’s friends must know him but I don’t and you don’t and there is no Jake in Redlog Pines.”

“I don’t trust him.” He shakes his head. “Any of them.”

I laugh. “Jake, you didn’t trust half the people in this bar when we first started talking.” I look over at Phil and then Dan. “It doesn’t mean they committed a crime. If I had backed off when you asked me to help you find Hannah, we may never have.”

“I thought that was all thanks to me.” He sounds smug, like that little smiley face he loved to annoy me with (AKA make me fall in love with him). “Did he flirt with you?”

“No.” I deadpan. “I think he was focused on his missing friend.”

“I was focused on my missing sister.” He shoots back.

I close my mouth. Alright. He has a point. But I wasn’t flirting with Eric. He was focused on finding Adam and I was focused on mourning—and then finding—Jake. Maybe it felt like Eric and I were two sides of the same coin. Maybe that’s why I agreed to help him. Because I didn’t want to happen to him what I thought had happened to Jake—to me.

“You’re being ridiculous.” I say instead. “How do you think I could ever entertain the idea of being with somebody else when for the past three months—more than that if you count the time we have actually had together—I’ve been focused on you? On discussing Hannah with you and then talking to you about anything and everything and then worrying about you and then hating you a little for convincing me you should me the one to go into the mine and then mourning you when it was hard to even think about you and then finding you?”

His eyes are wide. I think I’ve rendered him speechless. Which—serves him right. I know he’s not somebody who serves their feelings up on a silver platter. I know that. Obviously, I knew that from the first time I spoke to him. Back when he was nothing more than ??? and I was almost convinced that Dan was right and he was the Man Without A Face—a thought that I now hate with everything in me. But I need him to trust me. Jealousy streak and FBI and the missing persons cases aside, he needs to trust me.

“Trust me.” I cup the sides of his face again. “He’s nothing like you.”

He swallows. “Some people might consider that to be a perk.”

“I don’t.” I say.

And then I’m kissing him and it feels like coming home.

[jakesduskwood]

Do we still do Duskwood fanfics here? I haven’t been active on here for a while, but after finishing Episode 1 of Moonvale, I’m 800+ words into writing a Jake/MC reunion fic that I don’t know if I should eventually post when it’s done 🥲

[jakesduskwood]

Decided I’m posting this when it’s finished 🥰 I’m at 5000+ words now so be prepared for a long one 😃

[jakesduskwood]

Do we still do Duskwood fanfics here? I haven’t been active on here for a while, but after finishing Episode 1 of Moonvale, I’m 800+ words into writing a Jake/MC reunion fic that I don’t know if I should eventually post when it’s done 🥲

[jakesduskwood]

Episode 1 Conclusion, May Contain Spoilers if you don’t want to know:

Here are my overall thoughts:

Will I be continuing Moonvale because I love Jake and want every possible path back to Duskwood I can have? Yes.

Am I happy with the way this gameplay is? Not necessarily. The fact that towards the end of the game, it was 25 diamonds each to see 2 videos within the span of literally 5 minutes of each other is outright ridiculous. And yes, I could have played around the videos and photos—and sometimes I had to, just because it felt like I was spending a ridiculous amount of money and I was still only on episode one—but where is the fun in that? I want to be able to play with the videos and have every opportunity I can.

Duskwood pulled me in right away. I loved it from the very beginning, and while I am still learning to know the characters in Moonvale and the story could possibly be fun, I am really only playing at this point for the opportunities and paths that lead us back to Duskwood. If it wasn’t connected, I think I would have honestly stopped playing at this point because the things we had to do in this game to continue the gameplay were outright annoying.

[jakesduskwood]

Finally finished episode 1…

SPOILERS BELOW for the end of the episode!!

The end of the episode needed so many freakin’ diamonds to do things and I was THIS close to quitting…

And then I saw that Alan Bloomgate bodycam footage and that ending message and I remembered how much I love Jake and how excited I am to see him again 🥲🥰

[jakesduskwood]

Okay, so I’m almost done with Episode 1 of Moonvale and here are my thoughts…

Spoilers if you haven’t started playing the game yet!!!

Duskwood is probably my favorite game that I’ve ever come across. But one of the reasons why it’s my favorite is because it always felt realistic. The work that was put into it paid off, between the phone calls and the profiles and the messaging, it felt like you were a part of something and I loved that.

Moonvale, to me, does not feel like that at all. I’m not sure what’s happening with the AI photos, but it makes me feel very disconnected from the game. I loved in Duskwood how you could explore each characters profile and their status updates and see them outside of the story, and Moonvale does not give that same vibe.

And probably the most important note to me…Duskwood NEVER felt like a money maker to me. You paid a single price for the premium package, and you got to say what you wanted and click on any photos and experience the real joy of the game, which was what I was expecting going into Moonvale. Paying 19-20 diamonds for a single photo or video seems crazy because that’s not what Duskwood was about and it seems like we lost what everyone really loved about Duskwood.

I don’t know, it just almost feels like it was made by a completely different company.

With that being said, there are things I do enjoy about the game. I like the story so far, and I like that we can utilize our gameplay in Duskwood through conversations with the characters in this game. Talking to Ash about Duskwood really brought back playing it and I liked that.

I just think I was expecting so much more from the company who created Duskwood.

[hacked-by-nymos]

𝘿𝙪𝙨𝙠𝙬𝙤𝙤𝙙, 𝙀𝙥𝙞𝙨𝙤𝙙𝙚 10 — 𝙏𝙝𝙤𝙢𝙖𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘿𝙖𝙣

[jakesduskwood]

i think i liked me better lonely

Pairing: Jake x Fem!MC | Phil x Fem!MC (one-sided, platonic, don't worry, it's a Jake story)

Genre: Post-Episode 10

Words: 4,604

Summary: After the events of Episode 10, MC is ready for a fresh start in Duskwood. All her friends, and she thinks, her maybe-not-so-maybe boyfriend, are there. Except Jake never shows up. She's not angry. Really. She's not. Except well, really, she is.

[ A/N: Hi!!

I'm so sorry I haven't written anything in like three months. I truly did start this story in June and just now had the energy to finish it. Hopefully you guys are still with me and want to read it.

Enjoy! ]

“[MC].”

Hannah reached across the table for my hand and gave me an almost sympathetic smile. Like she knew the reason behind my shaky hands and bloodshot eyes and the reason I double-checked my phone three times a day despite the fact that I knew he would never reach out. It had been exactly one month since Hannah had been found. One month since Richy’s death. One month since I had packed up my things and moved to Duskwood. One month since the MWAF had become another painful memory we didn’t talk about.

In some ways—I think all of us missed Richy. The parts of him we knew. The parts that couldn’t be hidden underneath a mask. Maybe that’s why we didn’t talk about it. We needed to remember him the way we wanted to. Still—Hannah had been doing well since Alan had rescued her out of the mine. We had become rather close in the time since I’d come to visit her in the hospital a few days after her rescue. Thomas had been there. Stayed by her side the whole time. Hannah seemed to welcome his touches—seemed much more content to be with him than Thomas said she had in the days before her disappearance.

I was happy about that.

They were good for each other.

Somehow—I felt like Hannah was the only one who really understood me. Despite how close I’d become with the others—our weekly Aurora hangouts and occasional movie nights and being the talk of the town together—the town of Duskwood didn’t feel full. I didn’t know if Thomas would understand that. If Jessy would. Cleo. Dan. Lilly, even. But Hannah did. She was the only person who had known him the way that I did. Who had to lose him the way that I did. She was the only person I felt like I could tell I missed him and she would be okay with it—she wouldn’t try to tell me he had been captured or killed or had chucked his phone into the nearest lake in an attempt to abandon me. She would simply squeeze my hand and nod and tell me that she did too.

And—the thing with Hannah and Jake had been years ago. Hannah had told me herself—she had never seen a future for them. She had always known it would never work. But he was nice to talk to and she liked that about him. I understood that. Still—I couldn’t help but feel relief when Lilly had sat her down and told her they had a brother who risked everything to find her—and that that brother was Jake. Hannah had taken it better than I expected her to. Almost like it made sense for things to work out that way. Well—when you go through what she had to—most things probably did make sense.

I didn’t blame him—in the end. For wherever he was. Captured. Arrested. Across the world with his hand in someone else’s. Dead. My heart clenched at the thought. Perhaps he had forgotten me already. After all—our mission was complete. We saved Hannah. We were safe. Maybe that was enough for him. But—if he was out there in the world, alive somewhere—maybe I would always hold a part of me that wished he missed me too.

“I’m fine.” I responded.

She narrowed her eyes at me. “I don’t believe you.”

We both knew she was in the right. My eyes still scanned across every dark-haired, hoodie-laden  guy they came across, hoping that maybe. Still—my texts stayed unread. The ones I’d written the days after he’d left, praying that he was okay and would make it to me soon. The ones I’d written in anger, towards Jake and towards myself. The ones I’d written on the nights I felt alone, hushed ‘I love yous’ falling from my lips as I begged him to respond. Hannah didn’t know about those. I didn’t plan to tell her.

“We were never together.” I told her honestly. “I don’t have a claim to him. If he wanted to—run off and start some new life in another country with a new name, he can do that. I don’t—we were never together.” The words felt like a lie. “He can do whatever he wants.”

“You don’t know that’s what he did.”

I reached for my coffee. “I don’t know that’s not what he did either. Just—the FBI is still looking for him, as far as we know, right, and he hasn’t been found dead. Look, Hannah. I’m happy that I met Jake, because it lead us to find you. But—falling in love with a wanted hacker is high on the list of things I’d like to punch myself for.”

“Yeah.” She hummed. “Falling in love with a wanted hacker and then realizing he’s your brother is pretty high on that list too.”

“It probably should be.” I smirked. “Do you want another coffee?”

She shook her head. “It’s okay. I have to meet Thomas in a few minutes anyway. He’ll call if I’m even two minutes late.”

“We went through a lot to find you.” I reminded her. “I think it’s sweet that he worries about you the way he does. You never know when somebody might need to.”

She paused. “Jake cared about you, [MC]. I know I wasn’t there when you two—” She motioned with her hands in a circle. “And I don’t know why he did what he did. But—I did know Jake. He was there for me. Even when we hadn’t spoken in years. He risked his life to make sure you guys found me. I can’t repay him for that. Even if he does come back. Didn’t you tell me he made sure you would be safe?”

“Yeah.” I swallowed hard. “He installed this program on my phone. It let him know whenever he had to interfere.”

“Right.” She hummed. “Just—Look, I don’t really know much. But from what he used to tell me about himself, I kind of gathered he didn’t just blurt out ‘I love you’ to people. So, if he said it to you—I think he meant it.”

“Hannah.” I ran a hand through my hair and tugged at the ends. “I know he helped find you. And I know he’s your brother. I would never—I’m not angry with him. Not really. But—I really think I’m losing my mind sometimes.”

“I understand that.” She sympathized. “But—even if he doesn’t come back, you will always have us. Although—I suppose being friends with your ex-boyfriend’s sister is probably a bit weird.”

My face scrunched up. “He was never my boyfriend.”

“Officially.” She smirked. “Anyway, I should probably go.” She waved her phone around, where a display of texts—presumably Thomas—were taking up her lock screen. “I think we’re going to lunch, but—you can come with us if you don’t want to be alone.”

“I love you,” I told her. “And I love Thomas. But I really do not want to crash your lunch date. If anything, I think that would make me feel more alone.” I cracked a smile. “I’ll be okay. Probably get another coffee and head home.”

She reached across the table to squeeze my hand. The truth was—moving to Duskwood had been good for me—with or without Jake. I’d needed a new start long before Thomas had contacted me and asked me to help find Hannah, and however bad the circumstances might have been, Hannah had been found, and somewhere in the chaos, I’d found a new family. A group of friends to share Friday nights with. To drink with. To hang out with.

Hell. Even Phil started hanging out with our group more often. Jessy told me it was to spend time with me. I was flattered. Phil was cute. He’d tried to ask me out a couple of times—all of which I had turned down. Jessy had told me to give him a chance. Please, [MC]. He asks about you—like all the time. Please go on a date with him. I told her I’d think about it.

Though—it wasn’t like I’d been moping around for the past month. I had been staying with Jessy while I figured things out. She assured me it was fine. Her spare bedroom was available and after everything with Richy, she felt more comfortable with someone around. I had moved most of my things to her place, and what I couldn’t, I’d put in a storage locker. All I knew was that there was no going back.

Hannah was gone by the time I snapped out of my daze. I grabbed my keys and my empty cup of coffee and made my way inside. The place was a bit more crowded now than it was when we had first arrived. The barista must have changed shifts or gone to lunch, because there was somebody else behind the counter—a college-aged kid, maybe, with light hair and a far-too-bright smile for someone being criticized by an older customer.

I tossed my empty cup into the trash and folded my arms over my stomach as I got in line behind two teenagers. Their eyes moved wildly as they motioned to someone in front of them. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and shot off a quick message to Jessy, letting her know I’d be back in a few minutes.

ME: Are you around? Just finished coffee with Hannah. Be back in a few.

My phone buzzed only a moment later.

JESSY: Went to the library, should be back soon.

By the time I made it to the front of the line, the barista had a tight-lipped smile and looked much less happy to be making coffee mid-day on a Saturday. I wasn’t here that often, maybe only once or twice a week, but I made a mental note to ask her name before I left. I placed my usual—black coffee with two sugars and an extra shot of espresso—and reached into my pocket to pull out my wallet.

“Oh, don’t worry—” She waved her hand. “It’s been paid for.”

I blinked. “Uh—I’m sorry?”

“This nice gentleman.” She explained. “Must’ve seen you in line.”

I furrowed my eyebrows. “Oh.” I murmured dumbfoundedly. “Right. Well—that was really kind of him. Uh—thanks.”

I stepped to the side to wait for my coffee and scanned the place for anybody I thought may have done so. I’d circled the place a few times with my eyes when a hand grazed my shoulder. “Fancy seeing you here.”

I rolled my eyes playfully. “Of course it’s you.”

“Ouch—” Phil laughed teasingly. “Good to see you too.”

“Are you stalking me now?”

“How was I supposed to know you were going to be here?” He raised an eyebrow. “It’s merely a coincidence. Though—if you’re free,” He gestured to an open table with raised eyebrows. “Want some company?”

I accepted my coffee with a quick ‘thank you’ and turned back to Phil. I really wanted to politely decline and head home. But—Jessy’s words rang in my head and—he did buy me coffee. Would it be rude to accept his gift and not a date? Probably. I pinched the bridge of my nose. Okay. One date.

“Fifteen minutes.” I accepted.

He nodded and led me over to the table he’d been eyeing. I took a seat across from him—cups of coffee in between us—and tried to think of a topic of conversation. The truth was—Phil wasn’t a bad guy. He was fun to hang out with. Fun to be around. Fun to tease. Maybe he’d even be fun to date. I don’t know why I was adamant against it. Maybe because I wanted to be.

“How has your day been?” He wondered.

I smirked behind my coffee. “It’s barely noon.”

“And yet you’re already on your second cup of coffee.”

“So you are stalking me.”

He shrugged. “I’m merely observant.”

“It’s—I don’t know. I keep waiting for something to happen. And nothing ever does. I’ve moved into Jessy’s place. I’m applying for jobs. I’m—out, you know. It feels like a breath of air—we all can move on. We all should have moved on. Richy’s dead. Hannah’s back. But—I hear Jessy cry out for Richy in the middle of the night all the time and I reread texts from Jake all the time and I wonder if it will ever really be over.”

“Jake—your hacker boyfriend.”

“Not my boyfriend.” I fiddled with the lip of my cup. “But—yeah.”

“He helped clear my name.”

I snorted. “Actually, I’m pretty sure he would have left you in jail if he could have. Jake—wasn’t your biggest fan. But—Hannah was his sister. That meant more to him. He wouldn’t have let you rot behind bars for a crime you didn’t even commit. I wouldn’t have either.”

“Figured I owed you for all your help.”

“You don’t.” I promised. “That’s what friends do for each other.”

He smiled softly. “Friends? You risked your life for someone you’d never met. Actually, for a lot of people you’d never met. Hannah. My sister. Jake. Me. That’s not something somebody forgets about easily.”

“And that’s why you thought you would ask me out five times?”

He grinned. “Can you blame a guy?”

“And buy my coffee.”

His smile faded. “I didn’t buy you a coffee.”

I blinked. Lowered the cup down from my mouth and stared at him. “Uh—you bought my coffee right before I sat down with you.”

“I’m pretty sure I would have remembered that.”

My mouth fell open. “Then how—but you—you’re here!”

“You realize there’s like one coffee shop in this town.” He raised his eyebrows at me. “I saw you waiting to get your coffee and thought I would come and talk to you.”

I groaned. “Well, then—who—”

“It could be that guy who’s been staring at you for like ten minutes.” He nodded toward the other side of the bar, where, sure enough, there was a guy with black hair and bright green eyes glaring daggers into Phil’s skull. “But that’s just my opinion.”

“You’re incredible.”

His smile faded. “You’re really just not into me, are you?”

“Phil.” I sighed heavily. “It’s—it’s not you, I promise. I’m really not into anyone right now. You are an amazing guy, and you’re Jessy’s brother, and I like spending time with you. But—”

“But you don’t like me.”

“No.” I admitted. “Not like—”

“Do you like him?”

I laughed. “I don’t know him, Phil. Just—he bought me a coffee. I think the least I can do is have a conversation with the guy. Kind of like you and I are doing right now.”

“Because you thought I bought you a coffee.”

“Because we’re friends.” I corrected. “Because I like talking to you. Because you are in this with us whether you like it or not.”

He hummed. “And if this hacker guy doesn’t come back?”

“You’ll be the first person I call.”

He smiled. “I think I can live with that.”

“Right.” I could feel the stranger’s eyes staring into me. “Well. I should—” I motioned back over to where I knew the guy was sitting. “I should at least go turn this guy down before he thinks I’m cheating on him.”

Phil gave a three-fingered wave and went back to his coffee. Sighing, I grabbed at my phone and opened up my texts with Jake. Unread. Unread. Unread. Unread. Unread.

ME: I hate you for what you did to me.

Read.

My mouth opened. I held my breath. One second. Two seconds. Three seconds. Nothing. I shook my head, shoved my phone back in my pocket and grabbed my cup before making my way to the coffee-guy, who was now staring at the wall beside him. He turned to look at me when I was still a few feet away, meeting my eyes with a hardened gaze that softened just a bit when he saw who I was.

“Uh—hey,” I offered softly, waving my half-empty cup of coffee around. “Am I right to say you bought me this?” He frowned. “Right. Okay, well—I’m sorry. My roommate’s brother is—a flirt like almost all of the time, so I assumed he bought me this. Uh—do you mind if I—” I glanced at the seat across from him to which he nodded. “Great.”

“Do you live here?”

It was a weird question from someone I’d just met. Duskwood was beautiful, sure, but there were seldom people that visited the town for its pleasantries. Still—I was more focused on the break in his voice. It was deep, husky like he didn’t use it often. I watched as he uncrossed then recrossed and then uncrossed his arms again. Finally, he settled them on the table between us.

“Uh—” I remembered his question. “In Duskwood. I moved here about a month ago. There were some—things—that happened to a couple friends of mine. I figured it was better to be closer and not towns away.”

He hummed. “Are they okay now?”

“They’re okay.” I supplied without much context.

“And are you okay?”

I paused. “Uh. We don’t have to—I mean, you don’t even know my name. It’s going to take a lot more than a cup of coffee for me to unpack that baggage.”

“Like falling in love with a hacker?”

I blinked. “Excuse me—”

“And helping to find his kidnapped sister?”

“What are you—”

“And then, when you finally think you will meet him, he is a complete idiot and leaves for weeks without telling you—”

Suddenly, the coffee in my stomach felt like lead. My mouth opened and closed repeatedly like a fish. There was no way. The man in front of me—Jake?!—stared at me like he was trying to read my expression. He offered a smile—a smile, like he wasn’t gone for a month, like he didn’t leave me behind with no explanation and a broken heart.

“I can see you’re angry.”

“Fuck you.” I spit out at him. “You have no idea.”

“[MC].”

“I can explain.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “I don’t want your explanation.”

“Please.” He reached across the table to take my hand. “You are allowed to be angry. But, please do not shut me out. I didn’t want to leave you.”

I blinked back the tears I felt coming to my eyes. “Then why did you?”

“I had to.” He shook his head. “After the mine—I barely escaped. If it wasn’t for the fire, I might have been caught. Everybody was looking at you. If I had come back, they would have gone after us both. I couldn’t risk putting you in anymore danger.”

“Isn’t that for me to decide?”

His face fell. “[MC].”

“And why did it take a month?” I demanded.

“I wasn’t—”

I sat back in my seat. “You weren’t sure if you wanted to come back.”

“No.”

I shook my head. “You’re unbelievable.”

“I was under the impression you would be happy to see me.”

“Jake—” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I waited for you for a month. I—I texted every time I thought about you. I packed up my things and moved to Duskwood and I prayed with everything in me that you would follow through and meet me here. I—I ran through every single scenario in my head—of you being kidnapped and arrested and gone and dead—and I would constantly have debates with myself about which one I thought was worse. I—you told me you loved me and you left me. I am ecstatic to see you. But—I’m worried about which part of my heart I’ll have to pick up when you turn around and leave again.”

“I came back for you.”

A tear slipped down my face. “Please don’t tell me that.”

“I’m sorry that I hurt you.”

“You know—” I whispered quietly. “Phil is a really good guy. He’s—he likes me and he doesn’t have to come and go and he’s—he’s really, really good for me.” Jake made a noise like he didn’t quite believe me. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I believed me. “And I—I love you.”

“And that’s—not a good thing?”

I wiped at my tears. “I want to love you in public. I want to go on dates and have our friends hate us because we’re so disgustingly cute and I want to hold your hand and—”

“Like this?” He reached back for my hand and covered my fingers with his. “Exactly what we’re doing right now?”

I sniffled. “I want to kiss you in public.” He raised his eyebrows. “You know—two people called me your girlfriend today and it—it made me realize how much I wanted to be. And—also, you’re ridiculously hot, if I haven’t told you. And it’s kind of unfair, because you look like that, and I’m sitting here crying, which is definitely not how I wanted to meet you for the first time.”

He shook his head. “I think you’re beautiful.”

“Oh.” I blushed. “Well. Okay then.”

“You don’t believe me?”

“I don’t know what to believe right now,” I admitted quietly. “I am angry. I told Hannah I wasn’t angry with you, but seeing you here—I am angry. Just—I’m not angry enough to want to tell you to leave.”  

“I don’t want to leave.”

“But you will.” I supplied, taking a sip of my now-cold coffee. “Won’t you?” He hesitated. “And what happens then?”

“I will never leave you forever.”

“But you’ll still leave me,” I explained. “You’ll still make me wait around and hope that you will come back eventually. And I will—because I’m in love with you. Jake, I don’t want to be in love with you. I want to be happy.”

“Then come with me.”

I scoffed. “Come with you?”

“You can.” He offered hopefully. “We talked about it.”

“That was before I lived here, Jake.”

“I thought—” His face darkened. “I thought you came here for me.”

“I did.” I told him. “But—I love everyone here. Jessy. Dan. Your sisters. I stayed for them. After I realized you weren’t going to—to come, I moved here. Hannah and I have coffee every week. I live with Jessy. We—we hang out at the Aurora on Fridays. Phil will open the bar back up for an hour after he closes. Just for us.”

It sounded weird. Justifying all the reasons I had to stay in Duskwood to him. Like I thought that he might not understand them. In actuality, I thought Jake would probably understand better than anyone else. He had ties connected to this town. His sisters. His father. Me. Maybe I was the one who didn’t understand. Maybe I needed to justify my actions to myself. Give myself a reason not to go. To not get hurt again.

“I can’t do this.” I told him and stood, clambering my way out of the seat. He reached out to grab me, but I backed away, clutching the coffee cup to my chest like it was my last lifeline. “I—No. I really can’t do this. I’m sorry, Jake.”

With shaky hands, I backed away until I was out the door. My hands ran messily through my hair and I stood in place for a few seconds before I turned and headed back toward Jessy’s place, only a quick walk, luckily. Tears streamed down my face as I quickened my pace. Passersby probably turned to look back at me, but I didn’t care.

By the time I got to Jessy’s place, the door was unlocked and her keys were hung up on the stand by the walkway. I tossed my keys in with hers and made my way to the living room, where Jessy was sitting with her feet kicked up on the coffee table. When she saw me walk in, she jumped up from her spot on the couch, her face falling as she made her way over to me.

“What happened to you?” She demanded.

I shook my head. “Jake happened.”

“Jake?” Her eyes widened. “He contacted you?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “He showed up at the Rainbow Café when I was there. Phil was there too, and I thought he bought me a coffee, but really, Jake bought me a coffee, so I had to go and talk to both of them.”

“You talked to Jake.”

“Mm.”

“Why are you crying about it?”

I shook my head. “He wants me to—run away with him. Or something. I don’t know. All I know is that he came back to tell me that he can’t come back. Not fully. Not ever. But, he loves me and he wants to be with me and he doesn’t want to leave me. But—how do I just wait around for him to come back and visit once every month? I can’t.”

“So, what did you tell him?”

“I told him that I have a life here now.”

She paused. “Do you want to go with him?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters!” She argued back. “Do you remember when we had that talk about getting out of Duskwood when everything was done?”

“That was before, Jessy.”

“Isn’t that reason enough to get out of here?” She wondered. “I—I would have wanted for you to take me out. Of Duskwood. If you’d wanted to. And you want Jake to. Don’t use us as an excuse as to why you can’t. You can always come back. To visit. If things don’t work out. I really doubt any of us plan to be in Duskwood for our entire lives, [MC].”

“So, you think I made a mistake?”

She shook her head. “I think you’re making a mistake—this one is still fixable.”

“And I’m supposed to call him and—”

“—tell him that you want to spend the rest of your life with him, yes.”

I pursed my lips. I hated that Jessy was right. That I wanted to be with Jake—in Duskwood or on the run or wherever he would allow me to. Because that was what I signed up for. The constantly on-the-move. The secrecy. I knew that when I had fallen in love with him. And yet—watching as he constantly left and came back would slowly destroy me. Maybe it already did.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and hit the ‘PHONE’ button.

He answered on the second ring. “[MC].”

“I want to come with you.” I blurted before I could change my mind.

“What?”

“Wherever you go—I want to be there,” I told him. “I think I would probably move to Antarctica if you asked me to. Just—don’t go there without me.”

I could hear the smile in his voice. “Really?”

“I love you,” I told him. “So—yeah. I’ll—I’ll pack my things. You’ll let me know where to meet you?”

“I will send it over in a message.”

I smiled. “Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Jake?”

He paused. “Yeah?”

“I—” I shook my head. “Just making sure.”

[incorrectnessduskwood]

Jake: You have a nice face. MC: Damn right I do. Jake: A very... nice face... MC: Thank you? Jake: I mean, a very nice--dear lord, please accept my miserable attempt at flirting, I have no idea what I'm doing.

[incorrectnessduskwood]

*after MC finds out everything about the group + Hannah + Richy*

MC: Wait! Wait! Did everyone hear that?

Group: No?

MC: Ah, you missed it.

MC: The sound of my sanity breaking into a million pieces.

[blssmjpg]

To the person reading this, I hope tonight treats you gently, and that tomorrow looks brighter. 

[loubuttons]

actually @ every fanfiction writer whether you wrote something that got thousands of reblogs and comments and became a staple in your fandom, or you wrote one fic and deleted it, or you write mutilchaptered fics that never get a final update, or write short fics, or long fics, or used to write and now you don’t, or you deleted/orphaned your works, or you only share with friends:

thank you.

sharing your writing is hard. and sometimes it’s thankless. sometimes it’s such a negative experience that I wonder how anyone does it at all. but you are needed; you are wanted. whether or not we properly acknowledge it, you are a vital part of fandom culture. thanks for sharing.

[2soulscollide]

WEBSITES FOR WRITERS {masterpost}

E.A. Deverell - FREE worksheets (characters, world building, narrator, etc.) and paid courses;

Hiveword - Helps to research any topic to write about (has other resources, too);

BetaBooks - Share your draft with your beta reader (can be more than one), and see where they stopped reading, their comments, etc.;

Charlotte Dillon - Research links;

Writing realistic injuries - The title is pretty self-explanatory: while writing about an injury, take a look at this useful website;

One Stop for Writers - You guys... this website has literally everything we need: a) Description thesaurus collection, b) Character builder, c) Story maps, d) Scene maps & timelines, e) World building surveys, f) Worksheets, f) Tutorials, and much more! Although it has a paid plan ($90/year | $50/6 months | $9/month), you can still get a 2-week FREE trial;

One Stop for Writers Roadmap - It has many tips for you, divided into three different topics: a) How to plan a story, b) How to write a story, c) How to revise a story. The best thing about this? It's FREE!

Story Structure Database - The Story Structure Database is an archive of books and movies, recording all their major plot points;

National Centre for Writing - FREE worksheets and writing courses. Has also paid courses;

Penguin Random House - Has some writing contests and great opportunities;

Crime Reads - Get inspired before writing a crime scene;

The Creative Academy for Writers - "Writers helping writers along every step of the path to publication." It's FREE and has ZOOM writing rooms;

Reedsy - "A trusted place to learn how to successfully publish your book" It has many tips, and tools (generators), contests, prompts lists, etc. FREE;

QueryTracker - Find agents for your books (personally, I've never used this before, but I thought I should feature it here);

Pacemaker - Track your goals (example: Write 50K words - then, everytime you write, you track the number of the words, and it will make a graphic for you with your progress). It's FREE but has a paid plan;

Save the Cat! - The blog of the most known storytelling method. You can find posts, sheets, a software (student discount - 70%), and other things;

I hope this is helpful for you!

(Also, check my blog if you want to!)

[v-lynx-2]

Jake, five seconds away from losing it : what. Did. You. Do.

Mc : in my defense, you left me unsupervised.