This is my delusional radioapple prediction for Episode 5 of Season 2. I was going to make a comic, but there is NO way I could draw all this before the new episode comes out, so I figured I’d post my script for it.
Lucifer pops into V Tower with the intent of getting Alastor back on behalf of Charlie… and also because he’s bored without him at the hotel to bother, but he’d never say that out loud. A small heist has been planned to steal Vox’s shark to give Lucifer time for the rescue.
Lucifer is seemingly alone and starts to walk around.
Lucifer: “Hey Bellhop! I’m here to rescue you!”
Lucifer is looking around. Touching stuff. Looking for Alastor.
Lucifer: “No need to thank me, I’m just here to save your ass, Again.” *laughs
Lucifer sees Alastor, but doesn’t really see him yet. He only sees his back and shoulders from where he is leaned over, but Lucifer would know that tacky coat and tragic bob anywhere.
Lucifer: “There you are! Let’s get out of here before anyone notices.”
Lucifer finally sees Alastor. He’s tied to a chair and muzzled looking miserable. Lucifer immediately feels bad about gloating.
Lucifer: “Let’s get you out of there.”
Lucifer reaches for the wire around Alastor
Alastor, who’s head was down, immediately flings backwards to try and get away
Lucifer: “Hey! It’s okay, I’m trying to help you!”
Alastor’s mouth is covered, but by his eyes Lucifer can tell he’s pissed. He starts to talk through a nearby sound speaker.
Alastor: “Your reputation precedes you, you really do make it your mission in life to butt in and fuck up everything at every given opportunity, don’t you?”
Lucifer: “Wha-?” *lowkey hurt and high key confused
Lucifer: “No way! I don’t think you heard me. I’m here to take you back to the hotel.”
Alastor: “I made a deal that does not allow me to leave. You are ruining everything. I’m exactly where I want to be.”
Lucifer: “Yeah it sure looks like you WANT to be here. Being chained up to a chair and muzzled is always a great clue in that someone’s a willing participant.”
Lucifer: “Okay clearly you are in the middle of evil scheming at such a level, that I could never hope to comprehend.” *sarcastic and with a lot of hand movement
Lucifer: “Is there anything I can do to speed this thing up. I’d rather Charlie stop being upset sooner rather than later *waves his hand and gets rid of the muzzle”
Alastor: “If you want to help, bring Charlie here.”
Lucifer: “She’s keeping that Box guy busy! If she comes here, he’ll just follow!”
Alastor: “Perfect.” *close up sinister smile
Lucifer poofs Charlie in, she is confused. Vox zaps in behind her.
Vox: “What did you think? You could just waltz right in here and take what’s mine?!” *pissed
Charlie gets in Vox’s ways as he tries to make his way towards Alastor. Vox gives her space.
Charlie: “I don’t know what is going on…”
Charlie pointedly looks at Lucifer, Lucifer looks bashful
Charlie: “But surely we can work something out!”
Charlie and Vox are animately talking in the background while Alastor and Lucifer talk quietly.
Alastor: “He’s being too careful about keeping up his end of the deal.”
Alastor: “Tell me, would you do anything to make Charlie happy?”
Lucifer: “Yes, anything.”
Alastor: “Then play along”
Alastor still being tied up, hooks his leg around Lucifer and pulls him in close. Then Alastor kisses him. Lucifer is confused but goes along with it.
Vox immediately freaks out and shoves Charlie out of the way hard. She goes flying.
Vox: “What do you think you’re doing?! I won! You belong to me!”
Alastor starts laughing as he breaks away from Lucifers mouth. He puts a foot on Lucifers chest and with one swift kick Lucifer goes flying. Presumably to where ever Charlie landed.
Alastor: “No, it looks like I won. You just violated our deal. You know what that means don’t you?”
Alastor: “It means you belong to ME.”
Alastor melts into the floor and reappears easily escaping his shackles, meaning he could have done so at anytime.
Alastor: “For your first task, be a dear and fix this for me.”
Alastor throws his staff at Vox as he shoves past him and walks away
Vox can presumably do this as tech is his specialty.
Cut to Lucifer and Charlie sprawled on the ground from getting shoved.
Charlie: “What just happened?!”
Lucifer: “I have no idea.”
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