And a side of Obey Me!

Obey Me! writings. Some headcanons and some stories. Mostly fluffy but occasionally 18+ content so minors DNI. Masterlist Requests closed.

[majchic]

Donate to Support Afghan Girls Through Online Education, organised by Yal Bano

WDI Afghanistan online learning program provide as volunteer education opportun… Yal Bano needs your support for Support Afghan Girls Throug

[lorynna]

this gives me hope

[paleo-violet]

Gals, put yourselves first. These men wouldn't even vote for your rights. You deserve a relationship with a guy you can trust.

[longhorned]

laurae, a small Native farmer who built up her farm over the last five years, was served a 90-day eviction notice despite being promised by the landowner that she would be given a purchase agreement and the farm would never be sold to another person. Everything she has is in this farm - she’s put thousands of hours of work into it, built her cabin by hand, and invested every penny she’s made back into it. we are fighting to help her get the money to purchase her land before someone else buys it and kicks her - and us, her tenants who had no access to land without her help - off.

she ships her jams & honey, which you can buy here

you can also donate directly to the gofundme here

I know we’re all hurting right now and the world is fucked. but I love laurae and she’s done so much for all the people in her life. She has nowhere to go, no other options for a home, and no means to start over. she is a veteran, a survivor of multiple cancers, and close to fifty. all she wants is to live out her days on her farm till she hands it off to the next generation of farmers and I don’t want to see that simple thing taken away from her.

[literal-bot-account]

picking up litter is worth it!!

individual environmentalism gets a lot of flak in the face of corporate pollution but picking up litter makes a significant, noticeable impact. I spend about an hour a week picking up litter from around my dorm complex and I'm literally outpacing my community's litter production. Just an hour a week from one person is enough to offset nearly 200 people's worth of littering.

it would take less than 100 man-hours of labor per week to keep my whole college campus entirely litter-free. If you got two classrooms' worth of people to spend two hours per week each picking up litter, the whole campus would end up spotless and they'd straight up fucking run out of things to pick up.

If you're looking for some way to make a noticeable and positive impact on the world around you, go pick up some litter.

[reckless-blossoms-deactivated20]

Here's a good video on getting started and what to do. Yes, it's fully legal, just don't trespass on private property. All you need are gloves and a bag.

I've been litter picking in the background of my walks and I've removed several bags of trash from the area. The other day, children were playing in the creek that I litter pick at a lot. They were jumping into the water and swimming, right in the spot where I pulled torn up cans out of the riverbed and where I removed nearly-buried fishing wire that still had hooks on the ends. Just one person with a sharps container made it safer for those kids to go out and have fun.

That was the most direct cause and effect thing I've had with litter picking after just a little while of doing it, but even aside from that it's just. Good to do. It makes your area cleaner and safer and removes plastic from the environment. Plus, people are less likely to litter in clean areas, and litter can not be subconsciously normalized in people's minds in a litter-free area.

It's also fulfilling instant gratification. You get to go out and do something with your hands and then look and see for yourself that an hour or two of picking shit up has made an instant tangible difference in the world.

[tendie-defender]

They will destroy nature and call it saving the planet.

[uncle-mojave]

Joshua Trees are a weird thing that stayed since the last Ice Age. They're on the decline anyways because no mega mammals eat their seeds and pop them out else where anymore. Hasen't been one around in over ten thousand years but still they persist. Sometimes they thrive in small areas and other times they die out.

Then California decides fuck the Joshua Trees and destroys four thousand of them.

Fuck California. Joshua Trees provide shelter to hundreds of different species.

Cunts.

[goat-yells-at-everything]

People asking if there is anything that can be done, YES.

Basin and Range Watch

Conservation Groups Ask Interior Department to Cancel Solar Project over Desert Tortoise Impacts

There is a group trying to get this halted but they need to be boosted!

[pooh-and-friends]

RARE PICTURES OF EEYORE SMILING

[my-lovver-deactivated20230527]

Just a Little Reminder

Lucifer would want you to take pride in yourself, you're amazing and you deserve to feel that way

Mammon would want you to be greedy, it's not wrong to want nice things for yourself

Levi would want you to enjoy your passions, regardless of what others think

Satan would want you to allow yourself to feel your emotions, the good ones, the bad ones, and even the ugly ones

Asmo would want you to wear what you want, look the way you'd like, and love who you want to love

Beel would want you to eat, your body needs fuel

Belphie would want you to get some actual sleep, being tired all the time sucks

Diavolo would want you to take charge of your own destiny, you don't have to follow the path that people tell you to

Barbatos would want you to take a break, you can't spend all of your valuable time working

Luke would want you to stand up for yourself, you shouldn't have to be treated poorly

Simeon would want you to take the time to recharge when you need it, your mental health is worth more than the feelings of others

Solomon would want you to accept guidance when needed, its ok to ask for help, he wouldn't be where he is now without the guidance he received

overall, you deserve to be taken care of, not only by others but also by yourself. you're allowed to feel good about yourself and do what you like and just live and love and exist in the way you want to and you shouldn't let anyone give you shit for it

[devildomdisaster]

Abortion rights

I haven't posted here in a while and this isn't what I normally post about here, but after hearing the supreme court decision this morning striking down Roe here are some resources for followers in the US:

plancpills.org

plancpills.org has a guide on how to access abortion pills by state. Plancpills also has a lot of information about abortion pills, how they work and how to use them.

aidaccess.org

For those who are in states that already have or soon will make abortion entirely illegal or at least overly hard to access, aidaccess is an invaluable resource for getting safe abortion pills in the mail.

It's really easy to see what is happening and panic, or just be overwhelmed by the anger and fear and sadness something like this causes. But channeling these emotions(mostly anger) into sharing information and resources that will hopefully help others is part of what is keeping me sane right now.

[devildomdisaster]

Can you do the first choice with Satan if possible? Love your work <3

Satan is Mc's first choice

Content warnings: None

Mc/ reader is Gender neutral

Lucifer:

Lucifer is pleased Satan finally has something that is uniquely his. Something he can’t compare to what Lucifer himself has. He sees the way Satan lights up around you. His carefully controlled expression slipping from his face and making Satan look altogether more innocent.

While Lucifer is happy for Satan, he also wishes that you would have chosen him. He knows he isn’t the easiest demon to be around, but Mc, he would have tried for you. But then, that’s the difference, he supposes. Satan doesn’t have to try. It just happens, he becomes free around you in a way no one has ever seen Satan be before.

“Morning Lucifer!” you chirp on your way past him.

He looks at you suspiciously, you are clearly hiding something behind your back and he sighs warningly, “Mc…”

“Have you seen Satan? I have a surprise for him!”

Lucifer knows he is creating more trouble for his future self but points you in Satan’s direction anyway. He regrets his lapse in judgment almost instantly when he hears a distinct meow and your quiet murmurs shushing it in response. You’ve brought Satan a cat. And if it’s a gift from you there is no way Satan is going to give it up.

Mammon:

Ok, Mammon is so in love with you Mc. Everyone knows it. But he also loves his family more than anything. He knows that Satan has always been the odd one out. He didn’t experience the Celestial realm or the rebellion or the fall. There is a lot that the other brothers went through that Satan missed out on. Not all of them were good experiences but still, they were experiences that brought them closer together. So seeing you favor Satan is both a hardship and a relief.

It’s good to see Satan so interested in another’s wellbeing. The way Satan treats you reminds Mammon of the way his brothers behaved when they were angels. He is so soft around you. He could have you wrapped around his finger in an instant but he doesn’t. Instead, he lets himself be wrapped around yours. Mammon knew from the first time he saw you hide behind Satan and watched the protective stance he took in front of you that no matter how much he loved you, for Satan’s sake he would content himself with just being friends.

Levi

Jealous. So very very jealous. He tries not to be but why not him Mc? It’s just not fair! Levi knows how his sin can come across to others so he tends to avoid you. He doesn’t want his jealousy to affect you or your relationship with Satan, so it’s easier to remove himself from the situation. For a while, you think Levi hates you and he’s content to let you think that. But he still cares about you and about Satan, so eventually, he’ll start trying to deal with his jealousy in other ways. If he can’t be your favorite at least he gets to be friends with you.

“Levi! You won’t believe what happened at RAD today! Oh! But I’ve got to tell Satan first!” You are so excited that you don’t stop to realize the effect your words have on Levi. And he has to fight off his envy.

But oh well, at least you want to tell him too. He’ll just have to wait until you find Satan first. “He’s in the library Mc. But once you tell him you’ve got to come back and tell me too, I’m curious now.”

Asmo

Asmo sort of understands why you’d pick Satan. Asmo still thinks he’s the best but Satan isn’t a bad choice either. Plus you do get along surprisingly well with Satan. He's even seen Satan reading aloud to you with your head in his lap! In the middle of the living room no less! No one has ever seen Satan in such a vulnerable position before. What right does Asmo have to interfere with something so unexpected? He gets the feeling, and Asmo is seldom wrong about this sort of thing, that Satan is just as in love with you as you are with him. He finds it part sickening and part adorable.

If you need advice about Satan, Asmo is your demon. He is almost as invested in your relationship as you are. He also loves to help you pick out outfits for dates you or Satan are planning. And you trust him with this, so the way he sees it the two of you still get to spend plenty of time together.

“Oh, Mc!” Asmo sings “Satan would just love to see you in these cat ears!”

“A-Asmo! No way. I can’t just waltz into the house of lamentation with cat ears! It’d be too embarrassing!”

Asmo shrugs but doesn’t miss the fact that you put the cat ear headband in your shopping cart anyways. Nor do you miss the smug look on Asmo's face after you listen to his advice.

Satan

He’s surprised. Most of what he’s known until now has been stained with carefully controlled wrath. His brothers know that his smile is often concealing something much darker, and Satan himself knows exactly how dark his hidden thoughts are. But you come along and change everything. Being born from another’s anger he never expected to be capable of feeling more than surface-level emotions and underlying wrath. And while that initial expectation did fade over time he has always been careful to control his emotions. But around you, he feels so free. Like all the bad, dark feelings he has got replaced by something bright. Satan is often more reserved than his brothers, so he is surprised you know him, understand him, so intimately.

Being your favorite is deeply satisfying. Part of him wants to use this to make his brothers (Lucifer) jealous. But he finds he cares for you too much to use you against Lucifer. Satan revels in the pure feelings of affection you invoke in him. There is very little he won't do for you once he realizes his feelings for you are returned.

He is almost too smug when you skip past all of his brothers after a long day at RAD “Read to me?” you ask curling under the arm he is using to hold his book.

“It’s in Latin,” he murmurs. Eyes barely leaving the page.

“So?”

“So I'll translate for you.” he fake sighs, while stroking your hair. He pointedly ignores the shocked looks his brothers are shooting the two of you and begins reading to you.

Beel

Beel is a little sad, but he is mostly happy for Satan. He, perhaps more than any of the others, realizes that while Satan is as much part of their family as anyone else he has struggled to feel as closely bonded as the rest of them. Beel knows that Satan sometimes feels like he doesn’t belong due to the way he was created. It’s ridiculous, of course, but that doesn’t change the way someone feels.

Beel has a hunch that being your favorite might help Satan stop questioning his worth as part of their family. Beel can’t help but smile when he sees you favor Satan. You’ll wait for him to walk back from RAD, and go straight to him when you have good news. You remind Beel a little bit of a puppy. This isn’t to say Beel doesn’t wish he was your favorite instead, he just thinks you and Satan are cute together.

Belphie:

Didn’t Satan almost kill you once, Mc? Sure Lucifer stopped him in time, but really, have you forgotten that so quickly? Or do you just like Satan enough to ignore it? Belphie is a fair bit upset that you chose Satan despite the fact that he tried to kill you too.

Belphie feels like he missed out on getting to know you while he was in the attic. It’s not fair that his brothers got so much time to win you over. And by the time he left the attic, you had already chosen a favorite. He feels like he didn’t get a fair chance. But oh well, with the amount of time you spend ‘pestering’ Satan perhaps he dodged a bullet, he’d hardly get any time to nap around you.

Truthfully Belphie is a little bitter. But as part of the ‘Lucifer sucks’ club Belphie is begrudgingly happy for Satan. Besides it’s become increasingly easy to rope you into pulling pranks on Lucifer so perhaps Satan being your favorite isn’t so bad.

[devildomdisaster]

How do demon brothers react to MC's pet rat that is named Barbatos?

Mc has a pet rat named Barbatos

Gender-neutral reader. Mc brings a new pet back to the house of lamentation. A rat named Barbatos.

Content warnings: None that I know of

Lucifer:

Lucifer is oh so disapproving. He gives you his standard warning glare when you present your pet rat to him.

“Luci, this is Barbatos.” You grin holding the rat up to Lucifer.

“You shouldn't be so brazen as to make fun of a demon, Mc.”

He’d make you get rid of it, except he can see how attached you are to your pet. “You may keep it if-”

“I wasn’t asking permission, Lucifer.” You glare.

He just sighs “Keep it in your room Mc, we wouldn’t want Barbatos to see him and go on another cleaning spree to get rid of your pet.”

Despite his disapproval, Lucifer is secretly quite amused.

And when you have the audacity to introduce Barbatos to rat Barbatos he has to leave the room to hide his laughter at Barbatos’s horrified face.

Mammon:

When you introduce Mammon to your pet rat he cackles. “You-you named him Barbatos?!” He gasps between fits of laughter. “Man Mc, you’re more demonic than I thought.”

Mammon would love to put rat Barbatos in his hamster ball while Barbatos is in the house of lamentation. Or better yet, the next time he visits the castle so that Barbatos is distracted enough for Mammon to steal something valuable.

He would never actually do it though. He can see how much you care about your pet and doesn’t want to put him in any danger.

He will beg you to introduce your rat to Barbatos though. And when you do Mammon is nearly in tears from laughter at Barbatos's reaction.

Levi:

Levi doesn’t even realize you have a pet rat until he hears you say you have to clean Barbatos’s cage. He stares at you in shock “M-mc, did you just?... Do you actually? How in the three realms did you get Barbatos in a cage?!?” What the hell kind of weird role play are you into? He doesn’t connect the dots until you come back into the hall with a hamster ball, place it in his hands and ask him to watch Barbatos until you finish cleaning his cage. Oh, Barbaros is your pet rat.

Levi actually feels a little bad for Demon Barbatos. He knows it’s just a joke but...Mc, you know how much he hates rats. It’s not that he doesn’t find it funny, it’s just that he hopes you won’t take the joke too far. And worries that Barbatos might ‘remove’ your pet if he finds it.

Despite his worries, Levi has to fight a smile when you happen to have rat Barbatos out of his cage when Diavolo and Barbatos visit. Demon Barbatos has backed himself into a corner as far away from you as possible and is looking at you in absolute horror as you coo at and hold your pet.

Satan:

Satan Loves the irony. “Please tell me you did this on purpose.” Satan has an absolutely wicked side, and he isn’t afraid to indulge it every once in a while. In his mind, a few harmless little pranks involving Barbatos having to interact with you and rat Barbatos is an opportunity too good to miss.

Satan might be more of a cat fan, but he has no problem with rats. He’ll hold him without any hesitation and even builds him little obstacle courses and mazes.

He just so happens to have built rat Barbatos a maze on the living room coffee table on a day when he knew Diavolo and Barbatos would be visiting the house of lamentation. Barbatos walks in just as rat Barbatos is happily munching on the first of many treats in the maze. Barbatos nearly screams when he sees you and Satan laughing and encouraging a rat. Satan actually has to excuse himself for a few minutes in order to get control of his laughter.

Asmo:

“That's simply cruel, darling.” Asmo chides, although he has a wicked gleam in his eyes as he says so.

He isn’t exactly pleased that you have a pet rat… He isn’t afraid of rats, it’s just that he associates them with being unclean.

Asmo is openly amused that you’ve named your rat Barbatos. He wants to see Barbatos’s reaction to the rat so he invites Barbatos to your room just to see his reaction to your pet.

While he doesn’t want the rat in his room, Asmo is strangely enchanted by your pet running on the wheel in his cage or in a hamster ball in your room. Eventually, he gets over how gross rats are, or more like rat Barbatos becomes the exception to the rule. Asmo will use his powers to enchant your pet and teach him tricks. It's not unusual to find Asmo cooing at rat Barbatos while feeding him bits of carrot or other treats.

Beel:

“Mc, don’t you know how much Barbatos hates rats? I don’t think it’s a good idea to name your new pet after him.”

“But he already responds to Barbatos. Don’t you, boy,” the rat squeaks in response to you. Beel shrugs.

Beel doesn't want Barbatos to think your pet is a wild rat and try to get rid of it. So he secretly warns Barbatos about the rat so he isn’t so shocked when he sees it.

Beel shares his healthier snacks with rat Barbatos. When giving him new food, Beel always checks with you to make sure it is safe to give to him.

Belphie:

Belphie actually likes your new pet. “Man Mc, you must be pretty brave to name a rat after Barbatos,” Belphie laughs when you introduce him to your new pet.

Despite finding the whole situation hilarious, Belphie warns you to keep your pet away from Barbatos. “It’s for his own safety,” he says, “If Barbatos finds a rat in the house of lamentation he’ll try to eradicate it. I don’t know if he’d wait long enough to find out it is a pet, not a wild rat.”

If Barbatos ever does meet his rat counterpart Belphie will revel in the chaos. But he doesn't want to risk you being sad if something happens to your pet, so he won't encourage such a situation to happen.

[devildomdisaster]

Barbatos falls

How Barbatos falls for Mc.

Content warnings: Sex but nothing too explicit, and nothing described in any detail.

Gender-neutral Mc.

Barbatos falls for you slowly, inevitably. Until there is nothing he wouldn’t do for you. Nothing unless lord Diavolo forbade him to act. Even then he might just break the rules for you.

Barbatos wants to be with you, but he has not been with a human in many, many years. Enough years that he has forgotten how fragile humans are. The first time he takes you he leaves bruises along your hipbones and arms. He won't touch you again for several weeks, and when you finally convince him to give you even just casual touches he touches you like you are made of glass. Holds your hand so lightly he is hardly touching you at all. It takes him time, more time than he would like, to shed the fear that he will accidentally hurt you. Once he does, he wants to commandeer all of your time, although he knows he can’t. Not without disrupting the exchange program, and that he cannot do, will not do, lest he acquires Diavolo’s wrath and disappointment.

In public, he remains the prim and proper butler to the future demon lord. But he will find nearly any reason to spend time with you. From teaching you how to bake Devildom sweets to accompanying him to buy Diavolo’s favorite tea. He’ll hold your hand and lightly brush against your shoulder, even chastely kiss your cheek when you go on outings.

Behind closed doors, Barbatos is considerably less proper, although no less considerate of you. He is bolder in his affections, and will even curl his tail around your waist or slip it beneath your RAD uniform to tease you. Occasionally using it to bind your hands above you while his lips and fingers do the teasing. You see a side of him that few others even suspect he has. You’ve awoken a curiosity and passion in him that he has not felt for hundreds of years, you make him feel alive again. It's a feeling he values almost as much as he values his loyalty to Diavolo and the crown. Almost. And he fears someday having to choose between the two as not even his powers can give him a concrete answer of which he will choose.

[devildomdisaster]

Home

After dreaming of escaping to some magical world Mc ends up in the Devildom.

Gender-neutral reader

Content warnings: Mc has anxiety. Religion. Atheist Mc. Brief blasphemy on Mc's part. (This does not accurately reflect my views on religion and there is no offense intended).

Lucifer picks a random human to be the second exchange student. Diavolo and the others expect them to be well, human. And they are, just not quite like they are expected to be. They think Mc will be reluctant to leave their whole life behind for a year before they eventually settle into the program. They don’t expect Mc to jump at the chance to escape their life. To be relieved at being anywhere but where they were.

Of course, Mc is scared, they get summoned to literal hell and go to a school full of demons, but some strange part of them is relieved. Sure their whole world got shaken to the core. Sure they went from atheist to finding out hell is real, heaven is real, God is real, which means in Mc's humble opinion, that God has turned out to be a pretty big disappointment. Letting humans destroy themselves, and the planet all in the name of free will sounds more like God made a bunch of children then became an absentee parent.

Still though, this may be the single best thing that has ever happened. It’s ironic that ending up in hell makes them happy. But being whisked away from the mundane world has always been an intoxicating dream and who are they to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Finally, they feel something, even if it is jumbled and confusing, it’s better than the numbness they’ve grown accustomed to. Their anxiety doesn’t disappear entirely. That’s not how anxiety disorders work. But everything about life changed so suddenly, so drastically, that it was enough of a shock to the system to cause things to shift in the right direction. There was no longer a need to worry about money, about the suffocating nature of working full-time for minimum wage. Of student loans and the limited prospects their degree provides, despite promises otherwise. Or of the expectations society has for their gender. Besides, it’s hard to feel lost and purposeless when your purpose is just to be, to live, to be irreparably human just so demons can learn about you. They get to feel like there’s a reason for being. They no longer feel as if they must sacrifice happiness for survival.

It doesn’t fix everything. A change in scenery, even a drastic one, doesn’t fix trauma or chemical imbalances in the brain. But it does help. And once they come clean to Lucifer or Diavolo, there is the best magic in the three realms cooked into a potion to treat their anxiety disorder delivered to their door each week. Not to mention it has none of the side effects human medication has.

Over the course of the year, Mc creates a family out of the brothers and exchange students. They learn about themselves and about the three realms. They find things that make them truly happy. They feel free for the first time in a long while. The brothers and the others make them feel valued, wanted, loved for who they are, flaws and all. Of course, they miss their family, but they have also made themselves a family in the Devildom. A good one, it might be a little broken, but it’s a good one nonetheless.

And then the year ends. They send Mc back to the human realm, back to a world that feels less like home than it did when they left. They do their best to go back to their normal life. Back to applying for good exciting jobs and not getting them. Back to nine to five routine. It’s hard trying to pretend everything is normal. Trying to be everything they didn’t have to be in the Devildom. Sure they had to study there but when you are presented with actual magic, studying seems rather more enjoyable.

It’s not all bad though. They see family and friends again, although they can’t be truly honest about where they traveled to last year. They are a long way from where they were a year ago. Maybe they don’t get the jobs they want, maybe rejection still stings just as much as it ever did. But they are far more confident than they ever were before. Braver too. After facing down literal demons your average human isn’t so scary anymore. It gets lonely sometimes, being away from the demons they’d been living with, not seeing the angels or Solomon. But they’ve got their demon sweetheart(s) and found family checking in with them via their D.D.D, which Mc is relieved to find works in the human realm.

It takes a while for Mc to readjust to the human realm, they have to get their feet under them all over again. Maybe they even get better footing this time.

Once they finally start getting their life in order Solomon shows up. For a brief moment, Mc has the urge to stay. To tell Solomon to go to hell, literally, without them. They think about everything they’ve accomplished after getting back and fear having to start over again. They fear leaving their home again and the inevitable homesickness that follows. But the fear is brief and quickly overtaken by the love they have for their demons. Besides home isn’t a place anymore, not really. And when Mc goes to the Devildom for the second time seeing everyone again feels like finally coming home.

[devildomdisaster]

I’d like to request a body switching scenario with [Satan, Asmo, Beelz, Solomon, Simeon] and an Gender Neutral MC with undisclosed chronic health issues. Like brittle bones that break if you step a little goofy, stress ulcers, sensitivity to light, joint pain, poor stamina, etc. I just want to see the boys go “You live like this?!”

Satan:

Satan has a habit of collecting rare magical objects. Somehow quite a few of these cause body-switching incidents.

The cursed object causes the two of you to lose consciousness for a few minutes. When he wakes up he is in immediate pain.

His first thought is that the spell must have caused this and you must be in pain too! If he, a demon, is in this much pain it must be excruciating for a human.

He rushes to you or tries to. But falls to his knees in shock as a shooting pain runs through him.

He blinks watering eyes and sees his body stirring on the floor and realizes you’ve switched bodies.

You sit up feeling better than you’ve felt in years. Wondering if this is ‘normal’ or if that cursed object gave you super healing.

It’s only when you hear your own voice calling your name that you realize you and Satan have switched bodies.

You can see the tears in his(your body's) eyes and know exactly what's happening. You’ve had chronic pain for years. And Satan is sitting in just the right way to send shooting pain up your spine.

“Lay down on your back,” you order him. He has just enough control to follow your order and lower your body down slowly.

You can see Satan’s relief on your face as the pain eases slightly. It takes a moment for the worst of the pain to subside and his breath to even out.

He’s staring at the ceiling when he speaks, voice still a little shaky, “You live like this?”

You hum out a yes.

“All- all the time?” he asks, horrified.

“Sometimes it's worse than others. If I move or sit in certain ways it gets real bad. But if I avoid those movements it’s bearable.”

Satan turns to you “This is what you call bearable?!”

You shrug, “That position is usually pretty safe. So yeah probably.”

He is careful to move your body a little as possible as he shifts to point at a spellbook. “That book-”

“Are you going to change us back?” you ask.

“I-” he hesitates. Clearly not wanting you to be in pain again.

“Look, Satan it’s not that I don’t enjoy being pain-free. But I’ve dealt with it for years now. I’ve learned how to function around it. I had to. You on the other hand are going to be laying on the floor for most of the day if you stay in my body.”

“I’m going to find a way to fix you.” He says firmly as you place the book in his hands.

“Promises, promise,” you sing, preparing yourself to experience the pain in your body again.

“I mean it. As soon as I can move again I am going to find a way to help you. Devildom magic has to be better than human medicine.”

Asmo:

Asmo bought you matching bracelets. “Look Mc, I bought us these bracelets! They are supposed to bring us closer together!”

Well, they did bring you closer together. Just not in the way Asmo intended.

When he clasped the bracelets on, you felt a shiver go down your spine and when you opened your eyes you felt...different. Better. There was no aching pain. For once the dazzling lights of Asmo’s room didn’t cause you to wince. That's when you realize you’ve switched bodies.

Asmo on the other hand immediately cringed and squeezed his eyes closed, clutching his(your) head.

Asmo groaned pitifully, teary eyes squinting at you “Mc, how do you do anything like this??”

He curls up beneath his covers, and you make your way around his room turning off all the lights and closing his curtains. Once the light is gone, Asmo peers out from beneath the covers, “Do you live like this all the time?”

“Mostly, yeah.”

“No wonder your room is so dark. I thought you were just being dramatic.”

You shrug at him, “The Devildom is better than the human realm. There’s no bright sunlight here.”

Once the spell wears off, Asmo keeps the bracelet on both as a reminder of how you live with this chronic illness and as the intended purpose of showing how close the two of you are.

He buys you super dark glasses to try and filter out some of the bright light that bothers you.

and asks Solomon to help him find any magical treatments that might help you.

Beel:

Beel and you switch bodies after eating some of Solomon’s cooking.

Neither of you wants to eat Solomon’s cooking, but you had the misfortune to be the only two people who couldn’t find an excuse to get out of it.

Beel doesn’t know how it happened, Solomon doesn’t know how it happened, you sure as hell don’t know how this happened. But here you are with a strange magic ‘cake’ in hand, looking at your body from Beel’s eyes.

Your first thought is how strong you feel in Beel’s body. Like you could do anything. The exhaustion and joint pain you normally deal with is gone.

Is this how normal people live? Although you suppose a demon doesn’t count as a normal human, so it’s not such a good comparison.

You watch as Beel catches himself on the counter as he adjusts to the symptoms of your illness.

He lowers your body to the ground. Sitting gingerly as the movement causes the joint pain to flare.

“Mc, is this how you feel every day?” He is so so concerned about you! How do you function if you feel like this all the time? “Why haven’t you told anyone about this?”

“It’s ok, Beel. I’ve figured out how to deal with it.”

“It is not ok. Mc, we could have helped you!”

It’s strange to be lectured by your own voice and body. But Beel does a good job of it. He insists that you have to tell him when your symptoms act up and convinces you to let him speak with Lucifer about trying some magical treatments.

The potion doesn’t wear off for several hours. You feel a tad bit guilty about enjoying this when Beel is so obviously suffering, but you can’t remember the last time you felt so good. So capable.

Once the spell wears off Beel insists on carrying you around so you aren't as fatigued and to avoid aggravating your joint pain.

Be prepared for trying a string of different potions and spells to treat your illness, under the watchful eyes of Beel and Lucifer.

Solomon:

After hearing about Lucifer and Satan’s body-switching incident Solomon went looking for another cursed book.

He’d heard some rumor about Satan’s book having a twin and was determined to find it.

And find it he did.

You accidentally touched the book at the same time as him and switched bodies.

Solomon is more intrigued than anything else. “Do you live like this all the time? If so, you do a remarkable job of hiding it.”

He is going to test the limits of your body’s capabilities. He wants to know what situations cause pain or discomfort so that you can’t pretend to be ok when you aren’t.

You’ll have to warn him if he is doing anything that might permanently harm your body.

Unlike some of the others, Solomon doesn’t immediately look for a way to switch back.

When the spell wears off Solomon has a near-complete understanding of your condition. He knows what causes pain, what doesn’t, and what situations you should absolutely avoid.

“Mc, you need to stop pretending you are ok when you’re not. I’ll be here to help you when you need it. And if that help happens to be stopping you from doing foolish things to save face then so be it.”

Solomon keeps a close eye on you from now on. He respects you enough to not tell anyone about your condition if you don’t want him to, but he will also come up with the strangest excuses to remove you from activities he knows will aggravate your condition.

If there is magic that can be used to help you Solomon will find it. Just be prepared to feel a little bit like a lab rat while he figures out the perfect spell or potion to help you.

Simeon:

Simeon wants to know what it feels like to be human. He thinks it would give him a greater understanding of humanity.

He mentions this to Solomon, who being the chaos loving wizard he is, makes a potion to allow Simeon to switch bodies with you.

The problem occurs when Solomon 'forgets’ to tell you both that he’s already put the potion in your tea.

Simeon is shocked. He finds himself in your body. Looking at himself through your eyes. And by god does your body hurt!

“Mc, I’m dreadfully sorry, but I think Solomon’s little joke may have gone wrong. I-everything hurts.”

You blink at Simeon...er Simeon in your body. Mind taking a moment to catch up with the sudden body switch. You feel great. Part of that might be due to being in an angel's body, but mostly it's due to the lack of pain.

“Oh, everything's fine on my end. So it must be my chronic pain. It’s worse today than others.”

“Wh-what do you do when it’s bad?”

“Usually I try to distract myself. Or try to take a nap and hope I wake up feeling better. But we’d made plans and I didn’t want to cancel so…”

“So you decided to deal with extra pain for my sake? Oh, Mc. You should have told me you live like this. I can help”

“There’s no point, Simeon. Not a single doctor I’ve been to has found anything wrong with me. I didn’t want anyone here to pity me.”

“I am an angel, Mc. I’m quite sure I can do a bit more than your human doctors.”

You help Simeon to his room where you spend the afternoon watching human world movies to help distract him.

Simeon sleeps fitfully next to you and as you drift off you wonder if that is how you always look when you let your guard down enough to show your pain.

When the potion wears off you are both asleep, curled up next to each other.

When you wake up you are back in your own body. Simeon is sitting next to you slipping a charmed bracelet onto your wrist. “This is from the Celestial realm. It should help keep your pain at a more manageable level until I can find a more permanent solution.”

[devildomdisaster]

This is a graphic thought and you don’t have to do it if you don’t feel comfy or if it broke any rules.

May I request hc’s of the Brothers reacting to an MC who killed their family before they were brought into the Devildom? Their family often abused and mistreated them which caused them to snap and they feel an attachment with Mammon with how he’s treated. MC’s not mean or intimidating. They’re very calm, polite, and keep a blank face since nothing scares them (It’s not like they have nothing to lose or care about so threatening to kill them would only be met with an empty smile and an even emptier eyes saying “Promise?”); but if asked about their family, MC would be like:

“Oh, I killed them 🙂” or “The last argument I had with my sister resulted in me cracking her skull open, so I can safely say we don’t fight anymore 😶”

They don’t regret it at all and would often wish they could do it again.

So I didn't make this very graphic. It is mostly just the brother's reactions to finding out Mc killed their family, no details about how they did it.

Content warnings: Abusive family, mentions of violence and death. The brothers being demons don't condemn this behavior. Mc struggles with mental health issues.

Lucifer:

Yeah, Mc? You’re going to have to explain this one.

Lucifer is big on family. He might be strict and find a certain kind of joy in punishing his brothers but he loves them more than life itself.

Once you explain that your family was abusive and that your life was in danger from them, he’ll be more understanding.

He is certainly shocked though. How could his sweet Mc be so violent?

And the fact that you have no remorse is both frightening and impressive.

He wonders if he should insist that you talk to someone about this.

“Listen Mc, what you did may have been justified but trauma doesn’t just go away because you ended the situation.”

He doesn’t want to force you to relive any of your trauma by making you talk about it. But he does think that maybe you should talk to a professional.

He won't insist unless you show signs of any lasting trauma, but he will keep an annoyingly close eye on you to make sure you are ok.

This is a big deal. It changes the way Lucifer sees you. He is less worried about you being able to protect yourself in the Devildom. But he grows increasingly worried about your mental health. After all, the human psyche is far more delicate than a demons.

He doesn’t condemn you for what you did, he just wants to be sure you aren't still suffering in any way.

Mammon:

Mammon just stares at you when you tell him what you’ve done.

How could some weakling human do that?

You act completely normal until something threatens you, and then you are apathetic. Daring the demon to do their worst. And Mammon can’t handle that! “Mc, no! That demon could kill ya without a second thought!”

“Promise?”

“I-what?!” He cares too much to let you throw yourself into danger like that.

He’s a bit afraid of you now. Not because you killed your abusive family, he understands that, but because you don’t seem to care about your own life.

Mammon starts tagging along with you everywhere just to make sure you don’t get yourself killed.

He tries to subtly get you to open up about your feelings more so he can help you. But 9 times out of 10 he isn’t subtle at all.

He...gets it. He’d rather you do something drastic and be safe than be lawful and hurt. But he’s worried about you.

Levi:

“Wh-What?”

“Mc, you can just do something like that and then spring it on me!”

Levi is more shocked than anything.

He thinks it's cool good that you stood up for yourself. He’s glad you aren't in that situation anymore. But killing them was a little drastic.

He has the awareness to worry that when you go back to the human realm you’ll be arrested. He knows humans have laws and consequences for these kinds of things even if it was to prevent your family from harming you.

Levi is angry that your family, the people who are supposed to love and care for you no matter what would be abusive to you. Part of him thinks they got what they deserved. The other part is still trying to comprehend how you could do that.

But your apathetic attitude does worry him. “Mc, you can’t go around acting like you don’t care about your life. Even if you don’t care, I do! You’re my Henry!”

Satan:

Satan wants to know why you don’t care about your life.

When you tell him about your family he is so angry he would go to the human realm and kill them if they weren't already dead.

He wants to know how you did it. The gory details.

Satan’s so proud that you would protect yourself like this, it's such a demonic thing to do.

But your lack of remorse while impressive and satisfying to his sin is still concerning.

He’ll read up on human psychology to check in on your mental health.

Expect him to recommend therapy to help you learn to care about your life. And work through any issues you may have.

Insists on being around to protect you until you learn to care about yourself again.

He assures you that he doesn’t think any less of you now that he knows what you did to your family. He just wants you to be ok.

Abusive family makes him so angry. If he could, he would wipe abusive families from existence.

His main concern is you and making sure you feel safe and loved.

Asmo:

“Oh? Mc, I didn’t know you had this tasty little secret.”

Asmo is both impressed and frightened.

You are so dainty and helpless compared to demons he forgets the violence that humans are capable of.

Your lack of remorse doesn’t bother Asmo at all. As far as he’s concerned they got what they deserved. Why bother with remorse, remorse is a waste of time.

But he is frightened by this surprising new side of you. The violence is what surprises him most. He’s never seen you be overly violent and the fact that you are capable of such things is frightening. He has a bit of trouble coming to terms with actions that he considers more a part of demon nature, not human nature.

Asmo’s sin is lust but he is in love with love. All love. He wants you to love yourself and it breaks his heart that you don’t seem to care about your life or wellbeing.

Please Mc, don’t antagonize demons into killing you. Asmo wants to help you learn to value yourself again.

He is determined to instill a sense of self-worth in you.

Beel:

“They were abusive? Then it’s good that you killed them.”

Beel point-blank agrees with your actions. He would rather you have done something drastic and illegal than be stuck in a situation where you are hurt repeatedly.

Beel would have killed them himself if you hadn't. He is a demon after all.

But he is concerned about your mental wellbeing.

He would rather you hadn’t had to do that, but he understands.

Now he just wants to be there to love and protect you, so that you can be happy.

He wants to show you that the world isn’t all bad. That there are people who will be kind to you even if those people are demons.

Your lack of self-worth concerns him. He hates to see you ask for a demon to kill you. Hates to see the emptiness in your eyes.

He wants to help return the light to your eyes more than anything.

Belphie:

Out of all the brothers Belphie understands murderous urges the most.

Your lack of remorse isn’t concerning him either. Especially when they deserved it.

But when he realizes that your lack of self-worth is due to your family's abuse he is concerned.

He wants to show you that he can be your family, him and his brothers. A good, caring family.

Belphie is suddenly so overprotective of you.

When any of his brothers or other demons threaten you Belphie is there to step in and stop them.

He gets so angry that even his brothers are shocked.

There is no way he will ever let anything like that happen to you ever again.

He’ll make sure your crimes cannot be traced to you, that way when you do go back to the human realm you won't face any consequences for what he views as self-defense.

Don’t think Belphie will let you keep trying to throw your life away. No way, he’s going to find a way to improve your mental health if it’s the last thing he does. Starting with working through the anger issues he suspects you have.

[devildomdisaster]

Omg could you do the "comfort spell gone wrong" headcanon but with the brothers this time? I cried so many tears reading it. I'm a bitch for angst

Hi Anon, I already did this here and it is also linked in my masterlist.

[devildomdisaster]

Comfort spell gone wrong (the dateables)

Anonymous asked: for the lore Olympus ask but with the dateables. (Deleted this ask by accident but here it is)

Comfort spell gone wrong

Not only had the brothers been completely horrible the past few weeks but even your friends in purgatory hall and Diavolo himself had been too busy for you.

You understood that Simeon was busy helping Luke work through some things. But still, being brushed aside after the brothers had been so cruel towards you hadn’t helped your crumbling self-worth.

Solomon had heaved a big sigh and told you “They're demons Mc. It’s what they do. You’re going to have to grow a thicker skin. Besides, I don’t have time to help you with something so trivial.” Before handing you a page from a spellbook “if you really can’t deal with it yourself use this for comfort.”

You’d undeniably ruined Barbatos’s hard work when you’d tripped and tipped over the cake he’d been working on all morning. The demon had shooed you from his domain with barely concealed rage and asked you not to come back until “you can prevent yourself from causing me more work.”

Diavolo, despite always telling you you could come to him with your troubles, had snapped that Solomon seemed to be doing just fine. “So maybe you need to try harder, Mc. Rather than blaming your problems on other people.”

The spell Solomon had given you seemed simple enough. Although it was in an unfamiliar mix of Latin and Infernal. Couldn’t hurt to try though. At least not anymore than you were already hurting. You’d cast the spell, stumbling through a few words and thinking it hadn’t worked when nothing happened. Figures you couldn’t do it, you were still new to magic and just as useless at it as everyone had so kindly reminded you the last few days. It still sapped your energy though, stupid spell. You closed your eyes thinking that maybe it was better that the spell didn’t work. You’d never live down the embarrassment if anyone found out you tried to use a comfort spell.

Lucifer calls the others asking if anyone has seen you, after several days of radio silence from you. Solomon, Luke, and Simeon rush to the house of Lamentation once they hear you haven’t been seen for days. They find Lucifer and the brothers crowded around you, worriedly discussing the spell which has covered you and your room in vines. Babratos and Diavolo are already there, both looking guilty. Solomon feels his stomach drop when he recognizes the page from the spellbook.

“Lucifer, I recognize that spell, I gave it to them when-” Solomon begins

“Yes, it figures you would have your hands in this Solomon.” Lucifer glares.

It’s Simeon who steps forward to undo the spell, giving Luke’s shoulder a comforting squeeze on his way by. “Lucifer if you would,” he says gesturing to your form “this will take both our magics to undo, I believe.”

Solomon:

Shit, shit! Solomon recognizes that spell! He gave it to you.

It wasn’t supposed to do this, it was just a simple comfort spell!

But he can’t help feeling responsible for what's happened.

He feels like he should have known, should have realized something was going on when he gave you that spell.

You’d just wanted to talk, but he was so caught up in trying to find a way to make pacts with the brothers that he totally brushed you off.

He handed you a page out of a spellbook instead. And told you to deal with things yourself.

Solomon is crushed. He has always told you that if you ever need to talk to another human, he’d be there. But he wasn’t. He told you to deal with it alone.

When Simeon and Lucifer break the spell he is by your side in an instant.

Hands fluttering over your body, brushing withering plants off you. Feeling utterly useless.

The spell had gotten so convoluted and twisted in ways he’d never seen before, he hadn’t even been able to break it.

You blink your eyes open, Solomon’s distraught face coming into focus.

“Mc, I shouldn’t have given you that spell. I’m so sorry. I-I said I’d always help you if you needed me but all I did was hurt you instead.”

He wants to distance himself from you. But he knows that won’t make you feel any better. It won’t make him feel better either.

Instead, he’ll be far more careful with the magic he gives you. He’ll start teaching you more magic, so you can practice spells safely.

But he’ll also do his best to make sure you never need a comfort spell again.

He wants to be your comfort.

Solomon will plan elaborate outings and magic filled dates. He gets all these grand ideas and half of them turn into disasters but somehow he’ll make sure the two of you still have fun.

It’s easy for Solomon to forget that he needs to communicate better. But he’s trying. Instead of snapping at you again he’ll be sure to set aside time for himself. Besides, being in the Devildom is more fun with an apprentice anyways, plus teaching you magic gives him plenty of time to make sure you are happy too.

Simeon:

Simeon is shocked when he sees you.

A shiver runs down his spine when he feels the spell sucking the energy from your body.

His eyes don’t miss the botched comfort spell on the ground and he wonders why you didn’t come to him.

And then he realizes. You did. But he brushed you off to help Luke and even when you were hurting you didn’t want to burden him.

He feels like he’s failed you by making you feel like you couldn’t come to him.

When you open your eyes Simeon is the first thing you see.

He gently brushes the plants from your face and hair.

“Oh my sweet little lamb, you are never a burden to me. I am so sorry I made you feel you couldn’t come to me.”

Simeon brings you to Purgatory hall while your room is cleaned.

He gently untangles bits of plant matter from your hair, humming what must be some Celestial lullaby to you.

“Mc,” he begins once he’s removed the remaining plants from your hair and skin, and you’ve allowed yourself to relax into him. “Forgive me, Mc. I should have seen how much you were hurting.”

He is being so gentle with you. But his voice takes a stern edge as he tells you “Next time you feel like this, promise me you will come to me. If you tell me what’s going on I will always have time for you.”

Simeon makes sure to check in on you now, to make time for you. He’ll invite you to Purgatory hall for dinners and/or sleepovers. Oftentimes Luke joins you. But sometimes he’ll sneak you in so the sleepover is your little secret.

Diavolo:

Oh, Mc! He hasn’t seen a spell like this in centuries.

He knows it’s a mistake, but the power it must have taken to cast this spell is impressive.

He’s curious to know what kind of power you’ll have after you’ve been trained properly.

That not to say he isn’t concerned, it's just he knows the spell can be undone, and he finds it easier to deal with the situation if he doesn’t think about how close he came to losing you.

He’ll request that the brothers keep a closer eye on you, not that they weren’t going to anyway.

Diavolo will scoop you from the tangled vines, brushing the remaining vines from your skin as he carries you from your room.

He sits down on his throne, with you still held in his arms. For a moment you're afraid of his thunderous expression.

And then his eyes soften. “Mc,” he whispers. Emotion making his throat tighten, choking off his voice. “Why?”

“Why don’t you find a human who can do better than me Diavolo? You said so yourself, I’m a disappointment.”

“Mc, I didn’t mean! I didn’t want you to-! I didn’t”

He knows what he said. But he never meant for you to take it to heart like this. He was just stressed and he took it out on you.

“I’m sorry, Mc. I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you. You haven’t disappointed me. I’m sorry I made you feel like you can’t rely on me. Please understand that I would do anything in my power for you.”

A frightening promise from the prince of the Devildom.

Diavolo is careful to control himself in the future. To prevent himself from letting his stress and anger get the better of him.

Careful to remind you how important you are to him, and not just because you are an exchange student, but because he cares for you.

Barbatos:

Anger. Fear. Barbatos tumbles between the two emotions.

It seems that by placing you in this timeline to protect you from Belphagor’s anger he has put you in a new kind of danger. One he didn’t see coming.

This makes him question his decision not to look into the future more than necessary.

Humans are so fragile. And this is just more proof of that fact.

Barbatos is by your side the moment you wake up.

He is lifting you to your feet and guiding you from your room.

Barbatos is a perfect gentleman as he helps you clean up. Helping you scrub the plants from your skin, wrapping you in the softest blankets.

But he remains silent the whole time.

Once you are safely tucked into bed Barbatos speaks. “Mc, I know I have made you feel useless. I should not have taken my anger out on you. I should have known better.”

For a moment you think he’s going to leave, that that’s all he is going to say.

But then he asks if he can stay with you. If the answer is yes, he’ll curl around you in your bed. Holding you to him as if you are likely to disappear.

It has been a long time since Barbatos has had something or someone he has been afraid to lose. “I’m sorry Mc. Please know you can come to me, even if I may be upset. I’d rather you make me face my shortcomings then lose you.”

Barbatos starts having you over for tea more often. He’ll take you on errands with him, if he thinks you’d find them at all interesting.

Mostly he just wants more excuses to spend time with you.

This made him realize how important you are to him and he’ll make sure you know it.

Luke:

Scared little sibling vibes.

Luke is so scared to see you like this!

You are so still and pale that he thinks you might be dead.

When you open your eyes he is so relieved.

Please don’t scare him like this again!

He’s got tears in his eyes, and he half yells half cries at you “Mc! You- you can’t just do something like this. What if- if you had died? I know these demons-” he shoots a watery glare at the demons “can make you feel sad but you’re my friend.”

He’ll ask you to stay at Purgatory hall for a while. He 100% thinks this is all the brother’s fault.

In fact he wants you to move into Purgatory hall permanently and he is so insistent that Diavolo might just let you if that's what you want.

He’ll make sure you know that he sees you as a big sibling, a friend that he could never replace “so please don’t think nobody cares Mc. I know we’re not really related but you’re like a sibling to me.”

[devildomdisaster]

Mc you're hurt! The case of the mistaken period. (Part 3: Mammon)

The last part of a request:

In which Mammon smells blood on the MC and thinks she is injured. But MC is just having her period.

Part 1: Diavolo, Part 2: Barbatos

Content warnings: Periods, Blood, Demons who are sometimes stupid when human biology is concerned.

When Mammon smells human blood, your blood he is frantic. He’d just stepped in after you were picking a fight with some lesser demons outside of RAD. Which was stupid Mc! Hot but Stupid!

He’d walked out of RAD minutes after you, strolling leisurely to the flowering tree you meet him under each day he walks home with you. Nothing should be different today. Only he walks in on three lesser demons advancing on you. And you, you ridiculous, stubborn, beautiful human are standing your ground, wicked twinkle in your eyes, taunting them. Throwing insults in the face of three beings who could snap you like a twig. Mammon is there just in time to jump between you and the first lunging demon. Full demon form, growl ripping from his chest. No one touches his human.

Mammon bats the first demon away easily. The other two take one look at their companion and beg Mammon for forgiveness. Mammon scoffs and waves them off, allowing them to pick up their unconscious friend before running off.

He turns to you, and you’re caught breathless in awe and fear at his display of power. ‘Hot,’ you think to yourself, shaking your head to quiet the inappropriate thought.

“What were ya thinkin Mc? Do ya realize how much danger you were in?” he demands.

“I-I didn’t. I…” you breath shakily. Latent fear washing over you as the dam of adrenaline breaks. Mammon sees you start to shake and immediately folds his wings away, demon form dissolving back into his more human appearance. He takes a hesitant step forwards and when you don’t back up he wraps you in his arms. Fingertips running soothingly up and down your back.

“Hey Mc, yer alright. I got ya. Ain’t no one gonna hurt you when I’m around.”

You pull yourself closer against his chest, shaking subsiding as he comforts you. “Don’t know what I was thinking,” you murmur against his chest “they just came outta nowhere and I knew I couldn’t outrun them. So-so I just figured if I could buy myself some time until you got here…”

“Hey, hey Mc, ya did good. That’s good thinkin what you did, no way they’d expect a human to stand her ground. Gave ‘em pause long enough for me to get to ya. Not to mention it was kinda hot to see ya hold yer own against them.”

That made you laugh against him “Take me home Mammon?”

He’s about to nod when he gets the first whiff of your blood and all-out panic consumes him. On your part, you know exactly what's happened. You can feel the blood drip out of you and you curse yourself for not wearing a panty liner this morning. Mammon’s guiding you to an arms-length distance from him. Still holding tightly to your upper arms he begins to search for the source of your blood. He lifts your arms up one after the other to search for cuts, finding nothing obvious he begins to panic more as the smell of blood gets stronger.

“Mammon I-”

He let those demons go because they hadn’t touched you, but now? Now that he can smell your blood he swears he’s gonna hunt them down and make them wish they’d never been spawned. But first, he’s gotta get you help. “We gotta get you back to the house!” He cuts you off “Figure out where you're bleeding from when we get there.” He’s picking you up and cradling you in his arms before you can get another word out.

“Mammon!” you squeak as he shifts to his demon form again, and takes off into the air to get you to the house of Lamentation quicker.

“S'alright human, I’ll get ya help. Where’s it hurt Mc?”

Half distracted by flying in his arms for the first time you can hardly process his words. “Hurt? Mammon I don’t. I’m not hurt, I-”

“Course you are, I can smell your blood. Shit. Must be worse than I thought if ya can’t tell me where you're hurt.”

“Mammon I’m not bleed- fuck,” you realize. He’s smelling your period. That’s mortifying. “Ok so I am bleeding but it’s not what you think. It’s just my period.”

He swoops down to land in front of the house of Lamentation, “Mc, I don’t know what that is but there's a lot of blood so we gotta-”

“No! Mammon! I’m not hurt!”

He looks at you like you're crazy, thinks maybe blood loss has made you loopy. “Mc…?”

“S’just my period Mammon!...er menstrual cycle?” you try. Relief floods through you as a look of dawning realization come over his face, followed closely by a look of horror as he realizes how much of a fool he’s just been.

“You know what that is?” you ask, needing to know that he doesn’t still think you’re dying.

“Sorta. Mean it’s somethin human bodies do when they ain’t pregnant. But the blood?”

“Yeah, the blood's part of it. I thought I had a few more days till it started but, guess not.”

“So you ain’t hurt treasure?”

“No. I’m not hurt.”

“I thought those demons…”

“I know. Thanks for taking such good care of me Mammon.”

“Course, I can’t let nothing happen to ya treasure,” he’s silent for a moment and then “I know the blood’s part of it and all, but where’s it come from?”

You feel your cheeks heat up in a wave of embarrassment, “i-it’s the uterine lining Mammon.” You gesture to your lower body and between your legs.

“Oh right, yeah. That makes sense.” Red blooms across his face but he takes your hand and leads you inside anyway. “You wanna get cleaned up treasure? Then we can watch a movie or somethin?”

“Thanks, Mammon, that’d be nice.”