Ever Was
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

★
sheepfilms
taylor price
Monterey Bay Aquarium
hello vonnie

JVL
Peter Solarz
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Three Goblin Art
trying on a metaphor

oozey mess
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
dirt enthusiast
we're not kids anymore.
DEAR READER
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Kiana Khansmith
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Misplaced Lens Cap

seen from Türkiye
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seen from United States
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seen from United States
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@devonlyonellie
Ever Was
Desperation Games: A lost flash game I don't understand
This post discusses all forms of child abuse.
There are multiple weird perspectives inside of this story, so forgive me if this gets confusing.
On the early-ish internet, games made with Adobe Flash Player were a big deal. You probably know that. Unless you’re 15. In that case, something really cool happened that ended when you were a toddler and was completely discontinued when you were 10. You will never get to experience it or have the fun that I had. It was a better time. You were born in the wrong generation.
Flash was at its peak popularity in a notable context. Around the same time, people enchanted by the internet’s freedom were creating a kind of edgy art movement. The edgy art movement, really. Censorship-free mass communication was a new thing. It was the peak of humanity’s self-expression so far. It might still be. Quite a lot of people created some amazing things because they finally could. Weird and upsetting things found audiences who understood them.
The impulse absorbed Flash and the community of Flash creators. It became a tool of the movement. I have zero issues with this. I would not be alive today if I hadn’t discovered The Binding of Isaac when I was nine.
I just want to make sure that, before I begin, you understand that it’s not weird for Flash games to have dark humor and disorienting ideas.
This shit’s a lot weirder than that.
THE GAME
If you know where to look, you can find discussion online for an old game called My Kidd Blob (MKB). MKB was, allegedly, the kind of Flash game to be around on different sites, not really having a single home. To quote the eponymous My Kidd Blob Wiki:
“My Kidd Blob was a virtual pet game that ran on Adobe Flash. Players raised a wad of putty known as a ‘Kidd’ from birth to adulthood, where it then ‘graduated’. As of December 2020, the game is now lost media… In order to take care of their Kidd, players balanced health meters, including food, smell, and exercise… Along the way, Kidds would be placed in a variety of situations involving dark humor. The game also featured a variety of grim easter eggs.”
This wiki has some quirks. It’s incomplete and oddly written. Among other things, it focuses on the darker elements of the game near-exclusively, neglecting general information about the gameplay loop. It also separates these moments into two piles, “dark humor” and “easter eggs.” The author(s) are particular about this. The former ones appear during “normal” gameplay. This can include dialogue, things you can do in minigames, or other gags that establish a tone in-line with indie games of the time. These aren’t stomach-churning. They make the game sound cute. The wiki separates the latter for reasons it can’t quite articulate, but I understand why. These “easter eggs” don’t follow the “edgy Flash game” genre conventions. They’re unnerving, unexpected, and have a different style entirely.
We’ll start with the former.
There are a few different wiki pages detailing the funny stuff you were supposedly able to do. This is an excerpt from the page titled “Death Events:”
“Scenarios where you killed your Kidd were discoverable. These scenarios were temporary and beneficial, each giving you a random number of Kidd Coins upon execution. A comprehensive list does not exist.
You could bludgeon your Kidd to death using a Toothbrush item.
You were able to use the Milk item to feed your Kidd when its Hunger meter was maxed out. Doing so enough times would trigger a pop-up stating “Lacotse intolerant, dumbass.” Your Kidd would then explode.
Kidds were one of the most efficient fuel sources.
Animals during the Zoo minigame could eat your Kidd.
Your Kidd could have a Trait where it was naturally drawn to dumpsters. Failure to catch your Kidd in time would result in certain doom.
Kidds could be thrown off of cliffs, gorges, and ravines.
Psychological warfare was possible.[what does this mean?]
Kidds could be thrown from windows. This was originally a glitch. It was added as a feature in update 1.4.2.
During the Shopping minigame, you could leave your Kidd in the car. The game would then continue as normal until you left the store, in which case you would watch your Kidd die of heat exhaustion.
Kidds had a random chance of committing suicide via hanging. It is unknown if this was random or related to a hidden mechanic.
A rare event allowed you to sell your Kidd to the Glue Factory.
Various purchasable items existed only to kill your Kidd.
You could force a Kidd to eat its own feces.
Your Kidd could die after an unfavorable election result.
Kidds could chew on wires, killing them instantly.”
The funniest thing about this page is that the phrase “psychological warfare” is a dead hyperlink. There used to be a page about that.
The wiki does explain some of these minigames and what they did. It seems to be straightforward: minigames gave you coins to buy things, which increased your level, which unlocked more minigames. Here’s a decent example of how the wiki describes them:
“Sweeping was a rhythm-based minigame where you and your Kidd cleaned its house. When performing well, you would encounter trash that could be disposed of for extra Kidd Coins. These items included banana peels, candy wrappers, worn blankets, cigarettes, plastic forks, old shoes, beer cans, soda bottles, worn dog collars, children’s drawings, pizza boxes, and more.”
If this is the gameplay loop, some of the information on the Death Events page feels funny. For Kidds to die via cliffs or electrical wiring, the game would need to be somewhat expansive. This could be a lack of information or even misinformation. Lost media is vulnerable to that.
So far, this is a supposed browser game with flimsy, funny attestations.
EASTER EGGS
The wiki lists all of these on one page. It’s the longest one.
The page starts with a subsection of easter eggs called “scare events.” These follow a specific pattern. According to the wiki, completing certain goofy scenarios in pursuit of a death event would instead trigger one of these. It lists three.
“Touch scare event” would purportedly occur after petting your Kidd for an extended period, “usually around a minute straight.” This page attests that doing this would result in a death event most of the time. Some other percentage of the time, the screen would fade to black and the player would see this text:
“Don’t be scared. Just one time. I just want to do this one time. I love you. I’m not trying to hurt you. I would never want to hurt you.”
Like the previous, the requirements for the “Neglect scare event” are roughly tied to things that should kill your Kidd. This one would occur if you leave your Kidd running in an unattended tab for “too long,” the amount of time being unknown. Upon your return, you’d see your Kidd with a small tear in its eye and all of the health meters would be at zero. When attempting to interact with the game again, you’d get a similar fade out with text:
“What do you want me to do? Do you really think I’m so bad? I can’t believe I have to deal with someone so ungrateful. It hurts me.”
I have zero idea how the health meters worked, how fast they usually depleted, etc. I also have no idea if there was a save feature or how you’d play this game over a longer period of time.
The wiki simply titles the last one “scare event.” You were able to pick up your Kidd and throw them around while in the Bedrooom, something that “functioned similar to other stress games of the time.” Doing this “excessively” would give you a death event. Doing this a second time would give you a message:
“Piece of shit.”
Then, if you did this a third time, you would get this text instead:
“People judge you for it, but they’ve never lived like you. What else were you supposed to do?”
Doing it any time after the third would give you this:
“What else were you supposed to do?”
It isn’t hard to imagine that there might have been more of these. These are the only ones on the wiki.
A special Fourth of July minigame, “originally thought to be a hoax,” is also an easter egg by the wiki’s definition. The page also says that this was the game’s anniversary.
The minigame would only be accessible on that day to “a select number of players.” If you were lucky enough to access it, you would be able to help your Kidd set off fireworks. Players then lucky enough to achieve some sort of high score would unlock a slideshow cutscene.
The slideshow was a series of crude crayon drawings, each with a number scribbled on top.
The first two, titled “SIXTEEN” and “SEVENTEEN,” were the exact same. They both featured a child crying in a bedroom.
“EIGHTEEN” depicted the same figure, now smiling. They had a birthday cake, a crude little party hat, and some balloons scattered around the room.
“NINETEEN” showed the child in a different bedroom, crying again.
“TWENTY” was reportedly left blank.
For this section, I’ll cover one last Easter Egg. This doesn’t create an exhaustive list. There are a few more that I will sprinkle into the story where I find it to be appropriate, but this example deserves a dedicated look.
The wiki claims there’s a complete second game hidden inside of the first one.
“Haunted House” is supposed to be a point-and-click adventure/horror game reminiscent of an entirely different genre of Flash game. While MKB makes most sense as a product of Newgrounds humor, the wiki lists games like the Exmortis series, The House, and The Ugly as “contemporaries” to Haunted House. If none of those names are familiar or it’s been a while, I would take a moment to watch some gameplay.
The wiki decidedly lacks a definitive way to enter the game. It uses weasel words like “some people” to describe different methods, none of which have much in common. The only through-line is an item called the Feather, which is described as an obscure find on its own. One method states that the Feather can be obtained after completing “all” death events and can be used as a key on a door in your Kidd’s house. Another claims that you have to obtain a secret code from the Park minigame, use it on a secret numberpad hidden in the wall tiles of the Pizzaria minigame, and then use it to unlock a chest in the Shop minigame, thus giving you the Feather and unlocking the game from there.
The game itself is always the same.
Once you get in, Haunted House would apparently start up on a black title screen, the words “HA UN T ED H O USE” displayed in Times New Roman with terrible kerning. Clicking the screen would start the game proper.
You would start on an old, rural driveway facing a white modular/double-wide trailer. Broad daylight. The yard would look overgrown. Everything would lack color. Clicking an arrow on the path would display a message:
“Do you want to see something you shouldn’t?”
You could click the screen to continue. Doing so would cause you to face two garage doors, both locked. After some time, another arrow would appear, leading you around to the side of the garage where there’s an unlocked door.
From here, you’d enter the garage. The place would be absent of cars or bikes or anything like that. Instead, to your left, there would be trash strewn about on the ground. A white refrigerator would lean against the wall, leaking fluid. Its distant humming would be a signal to interact. Inside the fridge would be your first collectable item: a styrofoam takeout box called Meat. Going back with Meat in your inventory would allow you to enter the house through another door.
“Where are you when you feel bad?”
Dismissing the message would lead you to a laundry room, a small rectangular room that opens on one of its shorter walls. To the longer wall on your left would be another door. To your right would be a pet crate and a window, the latter serving as your only light source. The back supposedly had a washer and dryer. Holes and claw marks in the drywall would litter the walls in every spot, including above the washer and near the window.
Selecting the window would allow you to look out into a scene of a forest surrounding the home. You’d find nothing of note. At least, not so obviously. Reports claim that, on a small hill in the background, barely noticeable, there would be a small smudge of a winged creature.
You could inspect the dryer, but there wouldn’t be anything of note. The washer lid would be stuck. You could instead search the holes in the drywall. In a randomized one of them, you’d find a Crowbar that can be used to pry open the washer. The washer is where you can find your second key item: the Crate Door. You could then proceed to the kitchen.
“Nothing’s in here with you.”
The kitchen would be a large square. Counters were filled with trash and old takeout boxes, the sink full of dishes. There’d be an entryway to the dining room, but you wouldn’t be able to go there yet. Some kind of mold would seem to be on the walls. There would be another window, another refrigerator, and plenty of cabinets above the counters.
You could again inspect the window, but you would see nothing. You might then head over to the fridge, given the luck you had with the last one. It wouldn’t open. Clicking on it would allow you to listen to an ice machine drop. This is odd, since the house doesn’t seem to have electricity.
Hidden among the takeout boxes, again in randomized locations, would be five greasy scraps of paper towel. Four of these would have four digits: 0, 7, 0, 4. The fifth would have a drawing of the Feather.
Inputting the numbers in that exact order, 0704, into a microwave would open it. Inside would be a Can Opener to collect. From there, a can of peas could be discovered in one of the cabinets. Inside would be a Sink Key. This would allow you to get a Brush from under the sink. This is what you’d need.
“Wouldn't it be nice to not do this anymore?”
The dining room floor would be covered with feces and shattered glass. There’d be nothing at the table, nor chairs. A few cupboards and glass cases would be filled with clutter and indiscernible knick-knacks beyond capacity. There would, again, be a doorway to the next room that you couldn’t use yet. There would also be a screen door delivering light and revealing the forest outside.
You were supposed to start this section by examining the screen door. Doing so would present you with a few messages written in a blue children’s window marker. One drawing would resemble the character from My Kidd Blob, while another would look like the drawing of a feather from before. A nearly-erased arrow would seem to point back to the hill, where you could again barely see something. Finally, one drawing would resemble a small figurine of a man that could be found in one of the glass cases.
You were supposed to then click on the Figurine to add it to your inventory. Attempting to use it anywhere would cause you to throw it at a different glass case, shattering it. Inside the case was the Dog Collar.
“Here. There. Here. Back again.”
The living room is said to have been a mess of ripped furniture and smashed belongings: a shattered fish tank, a broken television set, books and DVDs ripped and scattered across the floor, and an old family computer. The blinds would be closed, making this the darkest part of the house so far. You could gain more light by turning on the computer.
This would also trigger a faint, ghostly face on the TV.
This room would apparently not have a puzzle or items to use. Instead, you’dhave to inspect the face on the TV. Clicking on it would cause you to zoom in on the screen. After a few seconds, the face would disappear. Going back to the room allowed you to pick up a Bowl from the floor.
“You aren’t part of the world. You’re part of the house.”
The last few rooms would all be accessed from a hallway at the back of the house with four doors. You could never enter the first door on the left. Your next destination would always be the first door to the right. This could take you to the bathroom.
The bathroom would be entirely dark. There’d be nothing to turn on for help and no way to access your inventory. In order to navigate, you’d use sound cues.
When entering the room, clicking around the bottom left would play the sound of a bathtub tap. Clicking again would start a sound more like a shower. Clicking a final time would turn the tap off. You could do similar with the sink in the middle of the screen. To advance, rather than doing either, you were supposed to click near the bottom right. You would hear a faint few footsteps. While you couldn’t see, you’d then be in a separate part of the bathroom.
Clicking to your left would sound as if you were opening a door. You would then need to click a bit near “the left of the middle” of the screen, then to the upper right. A small jingle would trigger both times to let you know you succeeded. Clicking the bottom of the screen would let you hear the door close.
Upon clicking “slightly above the middle” of your screen, you’d hear the sound of smashing porcelain. Clicking again, you’d hear a drill running. Clicking a third time would bring your inventory back. You would now have the Tail. You could then click anywhere to end the section.
“You just don’t know how to act right.”
Back in the hallway, you could then access the second door on the right, leading to a master bedroom.
The center would have a tattered king-sized mattress on a wooden bedframe. It’d have one pillow. There would be a nightstand to one side and a rocking chair to the other. Faint light would come from the curtains, initially stuck together and to the wall, preventing you from accessing the window. You’d also find a shattered gun case.
In the gun case would be two items, a Receipt and a Lighter. After placing the Receipt on the rocking chair, you could burn it with the Lighter. This would reveal the Nightstand Key inside one of the charred cushions.
The Nightstand Key would reveal a small safe. To open the safe, you’d repeat the code from earlier: 0704. You’d find Scissors inside of the safe.
You’d then use the Scissors on the blinds, cutting them open and allowing you to see out the window. The view would be too foggy to see much, but it would appear as if two faint, white hands were lunging toward the house. These hands couldn’t move.
Exiting the window would let you pick up your last major item, a ball from the floor called You Two’s Favorite Toy.
“People put dogs down for being raised wrong.”
Entering the hallway again, you’d now be able to access the second door on the left, taking you to the only room in good condition. A bed, a desk, and a few other side tables would be there. All of these would be a bit messy with toys and other things, but nothing unreasonable. Yet, you could see a broken window and hear faint sounds of wind from outside.
You could clear the desk of a child’s drawings by clicking on them. The first depicted the outside of the house. The second was of a child playing with a dog. The third had a disturbed piece of land, the top soil drug up and placed back down, with a shovel beside. Once all drawings were removed, you could pick up the Bullet from the desk.
You could then click on the bed, taking off the mattress to find an item called Your Key. On the side tables, you could find a piggy bank. Using this key on the piggy bank would allow you to find Your Other Key. You would then need to find a locked diary. Using this key on the diary would reveal a secret container. Here, you would obtain the Gun.
Attempting to use either the Bullet or the Gun after this point would trigger a gunshot sound, taking you to a black screen with one final message:
“I am going to find you. We will do worse things than die.”
ATTESTATION
There are pages on the wiki that reference outside information, other attestations, and some semblance of the MKB community that existed at one time.
According to the “Hoaxes and Rumors” page, a “popular interpretation” of Haunted House concerns a vengeful “Angel.” The wiki claims that this Angel has inspired some hearsay. Here’s an excerpt:
“While it is unclear where the rumor originated from, multiple players claim that the Angel can appear in-game outside of Haunted House. Some users state that it leaves messages in the style of other Easter Eggs. None of this has been verified… Less realistic renditions of this rumor include a compressed audio clip where the Angel says ‘I see you. Do you see me?’ before fading away.”
While the wiki often engages with differing reports (despite poor sourcing), and even though it often uses “some people say”-style weasel words to bridge these gaps, these anecdotes allude to a larger world that seemingly no longer exists. The same page details a fanmade ARG based on MKB. The entire section, unedited, is below:
“During 2017, HomestarCummer hosted an Alternate Reality Game on YouTube where he plays a character who claims to have seen the Angel in real life. The series was a collection of gameplay clips interspersed with narrative text and videos taken from inside of his house.
The series was criticized as ‘incredibly boring’ by reviewers, primarily due to the Angel never appearing on camera. HomestarCummer would instead mime as if the Angel were in-frame, insisting that something was there. Despite controversy, the series is beloved by some for the main character’s acting abilities. Infamous community member ZormaG2 gave the series a rave review, stating ‘Starting to believe this guy is actually being stalked by an otherworldly entity, shit’s crazy.’ ZormaG2 has since been accused of being HomestarCummer’s alt account.
The series ended abruptly on July 4th, 2018.”
HomestarCummer is a recurring character here. Before this, he was apparently a prominent community member in the MKB scene. The wiki even attributes some of its information to him.
There are a few out-of-place personal details about HomestarCummer on the wiki. A comment by the administrator on the “Angel” page mentions him having a kid. He was also a fan of The Grateful Dead, if you have any strong opinions about that.
This Hoaxes and Rumors page encourages you to browse a different page titled In The News. If you decide to, you end up finding a few weird stories. The first one is especially bizarre, detailing the game’s entanglement with a true crime case. This is best read in full. I have again provided the complete subsection here:
“The game played a crucial role in the discovery of one Kaycee Murdoch in 2013. On January 13th, Diane Murdoch complained of receiving a strange package on her doorstep. The package contained a USB drive with an .exe version of the game. As her daughter had been reported missing a month prior, this led to a lengthy conversation with police and an investigation of her home. Police found Kaycee deceased in her bedroom. Cause of death was determined to be a combination of starvation and physical injury.
Murdoch was a leading suspect among internet sleuths, leading some to believe that an amateur vigilante sent her the package as a taunting prank.”
The page claims there to be a number of stories like this. The adult son, Daniel, of a Trey Schatz reported him to CPS after the game “gave him the confidence.” A mailman delivering another USB drive discovered the abuses of a couple named Ann and Lee Trusler. Rodney Klein was found guilty of the rape and murder of multiple teenage girls after an anonymous informant going by M.K.B. sent in a few tips. In all cases, the game played an active role in the situation.
Another case concerns a man named Pat Tulane, who, according to the wiki, is a conservative media pundit and owner of a large podcast network. He apparently complained of receiving the USB drive with the game on a 2013 edition of his flagship The Pat Tulane Show. He found the incident “a bit of a sick joke,” but he thought the game was funny. This is the wiki’s theory:
“It is widely believed that the incident was motivated by a comment Tulane made the prior episode. Tulane mentioned that his two eldest children ‘don’t call much.’
Tulane’s eldest son, Matthew, took his own life on July 4th, 2015. It was his twenty-second birthday.”
I’m inclined to again post this section in full:
“Jason Sapp is the founder of Hidden Voices, a US-based nonprofit with a mission to ‘end human trafficking and child sexual abuse in our lifetime.’ HV has been criticized by news outlets and subject matter experts for its ties to conspiracy groups that spread misconceptions about the nature of human trafficking. During an October 2021 interview with Pat Tulane, Sapp confessed to receiving the same USB as Tulane ‘earlier that month,’ nearly a year after the game became lost media.
Sapp has described himself as a ‘warrior’ for abused children with a ‘fervent disgust for the idea anyone could ever harm a child.’ Sapp is a devout member of the Church of Latter Day Saints and often goes on speaking tours to various Mormon and Protestant churches to speak about his mission. In his free time, he offers personal life coaching for teenagers in need.”
A PROBLEM
Here’s the thing about the game’s attestation outside of the wiki.
There is none.
When I mentioned “some discussion online,” I was being purposely vague. The truth is that MKB’s wiki is the source of discussion. Anything online that you find will lead back to the wiki easily. There are no gameplay videos, archives, or forum posts that don’t mention this wiki. Outside of this bubble, the game has been so poorly archived that it might as well not exist. Some of the stories and people from the previous section seem to be entirely made up.
This wiki could be some sort of art project, victim of vandalism, or fifty other things, but it’s not normal. In order to narrow those possibilities, it might be a good idea to look at its authorship.
The administrator of the wiki, Suberstishus, is a fascinating character. Most content on most pages is his doing. After eliminating obvious vandalism, vague speculation, and minor changes, he is essentially the sole author. This happens, especially with smaller wikis and archive attempts for obscure media. It is also what would be expected if someone is making a wiki as a piece of art. But this guy is weird.
Suberstishus has an uncontrollable temper. He will often argue with others on page comments, which leads users to threaten to report him before they learn he’s the owner. These scuffles are often when he feels as if other users are not taking the content seriously. Half the time, he accuses this other person of likely having committed a violent crime. In his mind, you have to be demented to troll next to some of the subject matter on the wiki. Maybe he’s right about that.
This does seep through to wiki content every once and a while. Some of his writing conveys a deep hatred. His writing on the “Hallway” easter egg, one I’ve yet to cover, is a section that foregoes convention entirely:
“The Hallway was accessible only to the worst parents. After abusing your child enough, a new door will appear in your home. You might be afraid of the door. You might try to run from the door. You will know why it’s there. It’s not going to leave you alone.
You can do whatever you want. You can try to ignore it and go about your time. You can pretend that nobody else notices. You can pretend it’s your little secret. There are a lot of things that might make you feel better. You can even move. The door still will be there.
Your friends will find the door, Your family will find the door. You cannot avoid it. You cannot get rid of it. The door is in your house. The door is part of you. The door has now existed before you were born and it will continue to exist after you die.
Nobody will care if you scream. You can throw a tantrum if you want to throw a tantrum. You can cry for sympathy. You can try to exist in a world where nothing has ever been your fault and everybody loves you for doing your best. There is no world where you did your best.
You really think you’re an okay person. You just think you’ve made mistakes. You think you’ve been in positions nobody else has and did what you had to do. Nobody thinks of themselves as the villain. Evil may or may not exist. You are the closest thing that does. You know as well as I do that everyone agrees. When it comes to others, you agree too. But the others weren’t like you. You’re special. I know. You always think that you’re special. There is nothing special about you.
You cannot avoid the door in your home. You cannot ignore the bleeding in your walls when you want to go to sleep. You don’t deserve sleep. You don’t deserve sleep because of the door in your home. Because behind that door is the body of a child who loved you more than anything.”
Suberstishus will often voice his opinions on other community members. Due to their dubious existence, this is a bit confusing. Regardless, he and the aforementioned HomestarCummer do not appear to be friends. This might be a one-sided issue, as HomestarCummer has never commented on the wiki. When asked about a specific method for accessing the Haunted House minigame, Suberstishus responded with this:
“HomestarCummer (real piece of shit) found it.”
Another user once asked Suberstishus why he and HomestarCummer have a sour relationship. Suberstishus was hesitant to answer at first, seeming unusually guarded. When teased out of him, he went on this tirade:
“I fucking hate HomestarCummer with every fiber. He’s worth less to me than dirt mixed with shit. Do you have any idea how hard all of this is? Fucking bastard. HomestarCummer thinks he’s cool for doing what he does. He’s so fucking cool, He’s not fucking cool. It’s ridiculous I even have to do this. I go in and out and in and out of everything and back and forth and back and forth every fucking day of my life. Do you people not care? I know far more than you. I am worth more than you. I am everything that you are not and I hope you know it. This is the work of a thing you don’t get to see. Fucking HomestarCummer. Fucking bastard bitch. You are the one with a problem. Bitch.”
This is not the only time, and HomestarCummer not the only topic, where Suberstishus carries himself like this. He’ll often mention “a thing you don’t get to see.”
Here’s a rant from the comments of the wiki’s homepage. This is not in response to anything:
“I am here with the thing you don’t get to see. I always am. We are going to do it. These are some large reasons. We are all going to do it. It doesn’t hurt me. I like it. It feels like something else you might find but can’t. I feel patterns when I close my eyes and feed it with my arms when we need a release. It writhes and I just have to say yes. We do things so often. We are myself. The blood is who I am sometimes. It’s a bit like a god but without the hassle. Touch what used to be there. Love it. He’s really coming in for it. Could you stop freaking me out, old man?”
Someone asked him what this meant:
“Frankly, you people freak me the fuck out. You really, really, really freak me out.
I believe in things I don’t understand. You don’t fucking get it, so stop fucking around.”
ANOTHER PROBLEM
At the top of the previous section, I lied again. To say that there are no attestations outside of the wiki is an oversimplification.
You can find small scraps of information related to the game or to events discussed on the wiki. These scraps, though, are incredibly weird and don’t demystify anything. They do the opposite.
The Diane Murdoch case seems to be real and the wiki’s version of events seem to be reliable. The issue with this section is that the contents of the USB drive that led to her arrest were never publicly disclosed.
There are also references circa 2018 to a webseries by HomestarCummer. Its connection to MKB does not extend past the wiki.
You can find vague references to MKB on forums, too. Some of them say they used to play the game and use the wiki as a discussion topic. Other mentions predate the wiki entirely.
I could continue. It’s possible that these things got woven into a creepypasta to make it more believable. There is nothing here that directly contradicts the art project theory. It’s just strange.
Every event could also have been orchestrated by the same person or group of people. Suberstishus or a friend could have mailed out a few thumbdrives as a vigilante. There are ways to make this work, I guess.
It’s hard to make sense of. I’ve done my best to narrativize the narratives, but there are certainly things that I’ve missed.
A HAUNTED HOUSE
I’ll conclude this post with one final real-life connection.
Haunted House was stolen from somewhere. Either that, this is a marketing stunt for the game Haunted House twenty years after its prime, or the developer of MKB has been making games for a while.
If you sleuth through posts from the early 00s, you’ll find a game called A Haunted House (not Haunted House, A Haunted House). There’s weird about this game’s existence, though it wasn’t preserved in a playable format either and none of this extends beyond 2007. You can find discussions, screenshots, videos, etc. all where you would expect them to be. It’s the exact same as the Haunted House described on the MKB wiki. In a way, this essentially provides us with the only gameplay footage of MKB.
Except for one change.
In the dining room, when given the statue, you have control over where to throw it. Mind you, missing the Dog Collar by a bad enough margin can softlock the game.
In both Haunted House and A Haunted House, you could find a glass case that appears already cracked. In the original game, if you throw the figure at this case, you can retrieve a different item called the Glass Door Key.
Using this item on the glass door allowed you to exit and enter the yard. Here, you’d be able to enter the forest. For a few screens, you’d just click forward. This path did not lead to the hill or to the Angel. Instead, you would eventually end up back at the first screen of the game.
Should you enter the house again, everything would be reset. You could then try to complete the game as normal until you’re about to enter the last room. Instead, you could open the locked door across from the bathroom. The door does not unlock. Instead, you gain a Framed Picture.
You’d then finish the game, but instead of the gunshot and final message, you were taken to the master bedroom. If you inspected the gun case, you could see the Framed Picture inside. Interacting with it would allow you to access an alternate ending screen:
“This picture is of a man named Dennis Ronald McCray. In 1975, McCray accidentally killed his son Mark. He was drunk. Instead of doing the right thing, he hid his son’s body in the woods and reported him as a missing person.
This isn’t his house. He’s just one of many.”
This is a real case.
McCray wasn’t found out until 2014.
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Killing For Pity
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i comp.ly
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An edit of a screenshot of a scene from a cool movie that isn’t out yet.
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