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YOU ARE THE REASON

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

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noise dept.
Sade Olutola

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i don't do bad sauce passes
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
we're not kids anymore.

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KIROKAZE

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@dezgasting
For those out of the loop.
sketched a Kazzy at 6 AM because i had insomnia again.
i find the difference in tone between Peace Walker and Ground Zeroes borderline hilarious. we go from "invite your lieutenant to a beach date and have gay sex in a cardboard box" to digging in the guts of a young woman for C4.
especially Kaz. man who kept it cool throughout the entirety of PW is the first one to absolutely lose every bit of his shit at the Mother Base destruction.
slept 5 hours and woke up with an urge to draw more kaz
[shoves my transfem leland coyle headcanon/theory back in the closet and nails the door shut]…. Anyway.
@fungusmungus26 Okay okay so!!!
When I first found out about Coyle and the deal with the stun baton, my first thought was, “huh- isn’t a weapon like that typically associated with femininity? What with the prevalence of handheld tasers specifically marketed towards women?” But then I told myself, “dude, don’t be sexist- this makes sense for a character who canonically grew up raising cattle in abusive circumstances. Plus this character is meant to be a gay man, so that’s just a shitty thing to say.”
So I stuffed that thought aside and it sat there in a pile on the floor like a pile of dry leaves in Texas during wildfire season. Which was fine. I could just leave the pile of what is effectively kindling there forever!
BUT!!! Then I saw something that lit a spark and now my backyard is on fire!
See, my friend and I were playing the Trials and they took me to this area of one map that’s canonically Coyle’s (think it was the Courtyard map), and pointed out a mannequin [s]he had dressed up to look like our favourite pig- aviators, cigarette and all. Not the weirdest thing Coyle’s done, I know.
But the thing is, [s]he chose one of the FEMALE mannequins to do this to
And in fact this behaviour with the mannequins is quite interesting- we all know [s]he’s very violent with them in general, not to mention the shenanigans [s]he gets up to with corpses, but the primary target of all the SEXUAL violence seems to be towards male bodies. [S]He uses that overcharged stun baton to basically castrate these mannequins, melting their genitalia- same with the real corpses. There are a few female mannequins [s]he’s implied to have used as masturbatory aids, and they all have their breasts charred and melted as well.
My friend suggests that this is Coyle grappling with both repressed sexuality and sexual frustrations. The idea they pitched to me was that the charring and melting and burning of the breasts is an attempt to destroy the femininity of the mannequins, so that [s]he doesn’t have to think about the fact that [s]he’s not fucking a man. Or [s]he’s frustrated by fucking a female body and lashing out while the deed is being done.
To be clear, I agree- I think this was the intention behind this behaviour by the writers and designers and I love it. I just think another interesting take on this could be Coyle expressing loathing of more masculine bodies coming from a more internal place, as well as jealousy of female bodies.
You know how eggs can sometimes lash out at people born with the gender they want out of jealousy? I think that’s a perfectly reasonable way to look at what’s happening here.
In an attempt to destroy the masculine and the feminine, since [s]he doesn’t feel like either is an option. [S]He isn’t comfortable being who [s]he was born as, and the person [s]he wants to be is completely unacceptable, both socially and personally.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who saw that mannequin and thought "huh?" and immediately had a transfem Leland headcanon form in my head.
Though I personally prefer a transmasc Leland headcanon instead, since a lot of his behavior makes sense through the transmasc lens too.
One thing that is canon is that he is bisexual who is struggling to accept his attraction to men, so he lashes out violently and basically conveys his love through abuse. He's like me in a sense that he never learned what actual genuine love feels like, so his way of loving is conveyed through abuse. Torture is foreplay. Someone once told me that Coyle has "at least a little bit of a crush on each of his victims" and it fascinated me. When your way of loving somebody is hurting them, and you spend your entire time just torturing and harming random people, well, it just makes sense.
As a trans man myself who has been wrestling my entire life trying to attain masculinity and feeling genuinely insecure in it constantly, feeling like I should fight for it and prove myself to be a man, I saw myself in Coyle in a way that he's also somebody who is highly insecure in being a man, and as such needs to present as masculine as possible to justify being male. (Ironically, this is something both transfems in denial and transmascs attempting to affirm their gender identity would do, I recognize that)
But what really tipped me off towards the transmasc headcanon specifically is that Coyle's weapon is very explicitly a phallic metaphor. In one of the pre-trial animations he thrusts it against a mannequin's ass. Many mannequins in the Police Station have burn marks in suggestive spots, both male and female. While in a cis man's symbolism (like Franco, who wrestles with impotence) this could read as "my penis isn't good enough", in a trans man's symbolism this could very well read as "I don't even have a penis, so I will use my weapon as one instead".
Which in turn actually makes Coyle's tendency to pleasure himself with his own baton even more interesting (the crotch-shocking pre-trial animation). That animation is actually what gave me the idea for this headcanon in the first place, as it looked kind of like how someone with a pussy would use a wand toy. Leland's animation of furiously rubbing his crotch in a circular motion as a response to reagents getting incapacitated also reminded me of a way someone with a clitoris would stimulate themselves. That's probably me thinking too hard, but, you know. Funny thought.
Coyle's also got so much issues, especially parental issues, that his loathing for any gender would make a lot of sense. (trust me, as a fellow mommy issues haver [and Coyle definitely has mommy issues, no one without mommy issues marries women 3 times in the span of less than 20 years and immediately fails the marriage; he also remarks that Gooseberry reminds him of his mother while actively admitting he finds Phyllis attractive], the internalized misogyny that I have to wrestle with every day for it to not become overt is real)
It's very much possible to read his misogyny as a manifestation of his mommy issues, where his mother and the shaky bond with her gave him a template to what a relationship with woman would be like, so his future romantic relationships with women always end up in abuse or otherwise failure, and that only cements the loathing for women. (is it me projecting too much? probably~)
That's really the beauty of Coyle's character. There is so much room for various representations of gender and sexuality issues taking a form of something severely depraved and harmful.
Although a transmasc headcanon wouldn't make any sense in the time period, but this is fucking fiction, who fucking cares, this is just a funny headcanon I got and I toy around with sometimes. Stranger things have happened in the Outlast lore!
Are you saying my guy is one of the magical characters who can be read as multiple flavours of gender??? Oh hooray!! Love it when that happens!!!
I would also like to point out that- in the line of your last point- a lot of Coyle’s behaviour pre-murkoff makes sense with this line of thinking! Because yes, being a trans man in the 1950’s would have been VERY difficult, that could explain why his marriages seem so turbulent. In addition to all the misogyny you’ve described, it could also be that he simply refused to let any of his wives see him naked, which would have told them the truth and thus, his first marriage ended after six months.
I can even make a line for how he got away with this- if Gooseberry is as erratic and detrimental to a child’s presence as Coyle’s mother, then he could’ve absolutely gotten away with telling people his insane bitch of a mother wanted a girl and behaved accordingly. I guarantee this is something Gooseberry would do.
Anyway, more importantly, you’ve pointed out shit I didn’t even notice but are absolutely correct! Like, it totally didn’t occur to me that he’s using the stun baton the same way someone with a cunt would use a wand, but he absolutely is!! And yeah, the circular motion of him grabbing his groin is definitely something I recognize.
I did get the phallic metaphor, because how could I not, but it didn’t even occur to me that it could be just, a substitute for a penis full stop. I guess that’s another thing that works for both- if [s]he’s transfem, then it’s being used to say, “well mine hurts me to touch so why shouldn’t I get to hurt everyone else with something similar”, and if he’s transmasc, it functions as a substitute for a nonexistent penis that he’s violently upset about.
I can feel the different fanfic avenues opening as I type this. Off the top of my head:
Transfem Coyle: the Primes are all given disguises to look like the reagants at a moment’s notice and Coyle is given a female one that [s]he smuggles back when the trial is over
Transmasc Coyle: He overhears Gooseberry talking about his “nightstick” and is overcome with euphoria because “she thinks I got one!!!”
There’s so many possibilities! But I think it was put best here by @1merfairy :
No fucking wonder I'm obsessed with Coyle lately, he can be read having such an insane gender fuckery, that I can finally relate to a man that passes as cismasculine until you read too deep into him and suddenly he's everything. He's just like me for real!!!!!
[shoves my transfem leland coyle headcanon/theory back in the closet and nails the door shut]…. Anyway.
@fungusmungus26 Okay okay so!!!
When I first found out about Coyle and the deal with the stun baton, my first thought was, “huh- isn’t a weapon like that typically associated with femininity? What with the prevalence of handheld tasers specifically marketed towards women?” But then I told myself, “dude, don’t be sexist- this makes sense for a character who canonically grew up raising cattle in abusive circumstances. Plus this character is meant to be a gay man, so that’s just a shitty thing to say.”
So I stuffed that thought aside and it sat there in a pile on the floor like a pile of dry leaves in Texas during wildfire season. Which was fine. I could just leave the pile of what is effectively kindling there forever!
BUT!!! Then I saw something that lit a spark and now my backyard is on fire!
See, my friend and I were playing the Trials and they took me to this area of one map that’s canonically Coyle’s (think it was the Courtyard map), and pointed out a mannequin [s]he had dressed up to look like our favourite pig- aviators, cigarette and all. Not the weirdest thing Coyle’s done, I know.
But the thing is, [s]he chose one of the FEMALE mannequins to do this to
And in fact this behaviour with the mannequins is quite interesting- we all know [s]he’s very violent with them in general, not to mention the shenanigans [s]he gets up to with corpses, but the primary target of all the SEXUAL violence seems to be towards male bodies. [S]He uses that overcharged stun baton to basically castrate these mannequins, melting their genitalia- same with the real corpses. There are a few female mannequins [s]he’s implied to have used as masturbatory aids, and they all have their breasts charred and melted as well.
My friend suggests that this is Coyle grappling with both repressed sexuality and sexual frustrations. The idea they pitched to me was that the charring and melting and burning of the breasts is an attempt to destroy the femininity of the mannequins, so that [s]he doesn’t have to think about the fact that [s]he’s not fucking a man. Or [s]he’s frustrated by fucking a female body and lashing out while the deed is being done.
To be clear, I agree- I think this was the intention behind this behaviour by the writers and designers and I love it. I just think another interesting take on this could be Coyle expressing loathing of more masculine bodies coming from a more internal place, as well as jealousy of female bodies.
You know how eggs can sometimes lash out at people born with the gender they want out of jealousy? I think that’s a perfectly reasonable way to look at what’s happening here.
In an attempt to destroy the masculine and the feminine, since [s]he doesn’t feel like either is an option. [S]He isn’t comfortable being who [s]he was born as, and the person [s]he wants to be is completely unacceptable, both socially and personally.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who saw that mannequin and thought "huh?" and immediately had a transfem Leland headcanon form in my head.
Though I personally prefer a transmasc Leland headcanon instead, since a lot of his behavior makes sense through the transmasc lens too.
One thing that is canon is that he is bisexual who is struggling to accept his attraction to men, so he lashes out violently and basically conveys his love through abuse. He's like me in a sense that he never learned what actual genuine love feels like, so his way of loving is conveyed through abuse. Torture is foreplay. Someone once told me that Coyle has "at least a little bit of a crush on each of his victims" and it fascinated me. When your way of loving somebody is hurting them, and you spend your entire time just torturing and harming random people, well, it just makes sense.
As a trans man myself who has been wrestling my entire life trying to attain masculinity and feeling genuinely insecure in it constantly, feeling like I should fight for it and prove myself to be a man, I saw myself in Coyle in a way that he's also somebody who is highly insecure in being a man, and as such needs to present as masculine as possible to justify being male. (Ironically, this is something both transfems in denial and transmascs attempting to affirm their gender identity would do, I recognize that)
But what really tipped me off towards the transmasc headcanon specifically is that Coyle's weapon is very explicitly a phallic metaphor. In one of the pre-trial animations he thrusts it against a mannequin's ass. Many mannequins in the Police Station have burn marks in suggestive spots, both male and female. While in a cis man's symbolism (like Franco, who wrestles with impotence) this could read as "my penis isn't good enough", in a trans man's symbolism this could very well read as "I don't even have a penis, so I will use my weapon as one instead".
Which in turn actually makes Coyle's tendency to pleasure himself with his own baton even more interesting (the crotch-shocking pre-trial animation). That animation is actually what gave me the idea for this headcanon in the first place, as it looked kind of like how someone with a pussy would use a wand toy. Leland's animation of furiously rubbing his crotch in a circular motion as a response to reagents getting incapacitated also reminded me of a way someone with a clitoris would stimulate themselves. That's probably me thinking too hard, but, you know. Funny thought.
Coyle's also got so much issues, especially parental issues, that his loathing for any gender would make a lot of sense. (trust me, as a fellow mommy issues haver [and Coyle definitely has mommy issues, no one without mommy issues marries women 3 times in the span of less than 20 years and immediately fails the marriage; he also remarks that Gooseberry reminds him of his mother while actively admitting he finds Phyllis attractive], the internalized misogyny that I have to wrestle with every day for it to not become overt is real)
It's very much possible to read his misogyny as a manifestation of his mommy issues, where his mother and the shaky bond with her gave him a template to what a relationship with woman would be like, so his future romantic relationships with women always end up in abuse or otherwise failure, and that only cements the loathing for women. (is it me projecting too much? probably~)
That's really the beauty of Coyle's character. There is so much room for various representations of gender and sexuality issues taking a form of something severely depraved and harmful.
Although a transmasc headcanon wouldn't make any sense in the time period, but this is fucking fiction, who fucking cares, this is just a funny headcanon I got and I toy around with sometimes. Stranger things have happened in the Outlast lore!
Last couple of doodle requests for my wonderful amazing sticker club subs! I sent out April's sticker mail earlier this week btw.🤓 look forward to your Kanto starter + Marine animal facts in a week or so.
My type are characters missing limbs, evidently.
Yoji Shinkawa's art singlehandedly got me back into drawing again
Q: What bad habits does your operative have? A: Yura smokes. He smokes a lot, trying to drown out the voice inside himself (maybe it's his conscience that he's forgotten about a long time ago?)
translation:
-Definitely… This is smoking
why would u want disgusting characters
the best stories will always present you with a weird little freak i hope this helps
oh hOLY SHIT i woke up to 50+ notes on my drawing 😭😭 thank you outlast community
Y'all're equal under the law.
wait did i really not draw anything for outlast trials. or outlast in general. i need tae fix that
and i havent drawn anything for invincible for way too long. UGH i need to stop playing videogames and focus on the real shit
says he as he goes to play outlast trials for the next 5 hours
wait did i really not draw anything for outlast trials. or outlast in general. i need tae fix that
and i havent drawn anything for invincible for way too long. UGH i need to stop playing videogames and focus on the real shit
wait did i really not draw anything for outlast trials. or outlast in general. i need tae fix that
holy shit you guys n gals n pals loved the ocelot sketch. alive fandom
why is this stupid gilf so fun to draw
How did you learn to analyze art?
just look at it innit