For men who dislike women posting how bad other men are online...an EXCELLENT REPLY!
I saw this posted by OkCupidSexcapades and just had to re-post it. I have had men confront me about posting emails, although they have no names, from men that have been assholes and rude to me as well as worse. I have unsolicited hate emails about my profile online. I have had men approach me as if I was nothing more than a gutter snipe or a slut here to service them. I have had men go from saying I am so pretty and they want a date to calling me every vile thing they can think of when I reply back that I am not interested. When I am told that posting these makes ‘all men’ look bad and women start hating ‘all men’, I reply that it doesn’t. I am trying to show them what women go through online. They may not be that kind of guy, but there are tons of these kinds of men out there and we have to face them every time we wake up it seems. Well, this post and reply are one of the BEST replies I have ever seen, so I am sharing it now.
I’m a guy who’s earnestly looking for someone on Okcupid. Blogs like this make me so angry because I’m not like these men and your blog turns girls off of online dating so they never even give me a chance
OkCupidSexcapades answered:
I honestly do understand your frustration, but it is misplaced. The problem isn’t with women who are vocal about their bad experiences with men; it is with men who treat women badly. If lots of people had a bad experience with a restaurant and posted it about it on Yelp, you wouldn't blame the customers for sharing their experience, you would expect the restaurant to improve.
It’s the same idea here: Women don’t have a responsibility to keep it to themselves when men treat them badly, men as a whole have a responsibility to improve. If you actually aren't like these men, then you should be encouraging the men you know to treat women better or, at the very least, you should be reading through these blogs so you can better understand what it’s like to be a woman in the dating world, but you definitely should not be blaming women.
Gentlemen, no one 'owes’ you sex online or offline. If it was YOUR daughter/sister you wouldn’t like men approaching them with their penis hanging out and saying “give me a bj’ or “wanna f*ck” I am sure you would KILL that guy. Many men joke that they wish they were women and they would be down at the docks every day looking for sex. In reality you would not because you wouldn’t like being treated like nothing more than a piece of shit. When women like sex we are called whores not studs. Even when we are not looking for sex, maybe we just want a friend, it seems so many men just have one thing in the back of their mind, how can I get her in bed? IT GETS TIRESOME AND LAME to be seen as nothing more than a hole to be used. If YOU were seen as nothing more than a wallet and no one wanted to talk to you or do anything with you other than take your money you would be pissed off SO quickly and you would speak out about it.
Before you condemn women you think are giving you a difficult time trying to find a partner by posting these types of blogs keep in mind that it isn’t us with the problem. Re-read that post and think of that restaurant that you would be grateful someone told you it had bad food and you don’t want to go there. Realize that you as men CAN help by making the asshole men learn to behave in a more respectable way rather than telling women to shut up and take it. You wouldn’t tell your daughters or sisters to just take it, so why do that to us? Try to understand what it is like to have this crap in our lives every day online and offline and realize it isn’t so fun.
