Diamond Ultra

Mid 20s | She/Her

[diamond-ultra]

Cool Rabbit Girl Furry Called Nina:

Realized I have a bunch of art that I only uploaded to like one site so I'm going through trying to get everything everywhere.

I think/hope this counts as artistic nudity but warning for boobs and also the rest of the renders under the cut.

This fucking project... oh goodness gracious it went real bad. What was supposed to be a base for more characters quickly became unworkable complex I made so many mistakes so much technical debt, understand that while these renders might look nice they are basically all I could make without everything collapsing.

I just desperately wanted to just move on to anything else, start again with something new and not fuck up this time which... did not work out but hey that project IS better than this and I will finish it sometime hopefully.

This particular render is from an early test, the outlines and silhouette fur are mostly separate objects floating in front of the character which is why it all looks so clean.

[diamond-ultra]

Fanart 3D model of a design by Jazz-dude, who appears to have deleted everything during the like 2 years it took me to finish this, ok.

Anyway I made the mesh for this back in 2024 thinking it would be a quick project and than left it till now to actually make all the shaders and textures and whatnot. I made some changes to the original design like adding the heat vent to the back and making the treads way more realistic.

The shaders are pretty straight forward with the only vaguely complex part being the highlights though that's just a metallic shader with an edge highlight texture masking off a lot. I did make try to make various more dynamic versions that didn't need any textures but this version looks best.

Properly gonna really only make low poly stuff as high polys kinda annoying and didn't really add anything. Got a whole bunch of mecha designs to make and a pixel shader to finish.

[diamond-ultra]

Fanart 3D model of a design by Jazz-dude, who appears to have deleted everything during the like 2 years it took me to finish this, ok.

Anyway I made the mesh for this back in 2024 thinking it would be a quick project and than left it till now to actually make all the shaders and textures and whatnot. I made some changes to the original design like adding the heat vent to the back and making the treads way more realistic.

The shaders are pretty straight forward with the only vaguely complex part being the highlights though that's just a metallic shader with an edge highlight texture masking off a lot. I did make try to make various more dynamic versions that didn't need any textures but this version looks best.

Properly gonna really only make low poly stuff as high polys kinda annoying and didn't really add anything. Got a whole bunch of mecha designs to make and a pixel shader to finish.

[transmanrageroom]

what gets me is that there's no equivalent tma-tme language for any other system of oppression that i can think of. i saw a post a few weeks ago saying this wasn't true because of terms like ablebodied and nonblack, but like. that's very much not the same thing, when i say this i mean the [type of oppression] exempt/affected language specifically. like, i wouldn't say i'm "racism-exempt," i'd just say i'm white, and that already communicates that i'm not a person of color and therefore not targeted by racism. or, like, i wouldn't say i'm "audism-exempt" i'd say i'm hearing - i'm disabled, so i experience ableism, but i'm not deaf/hoh so i don't experience audism. and it'd feel not just weird but actively wrong and dehumanizing to call people racism-affected or audism-affected instead of just saying they're a person of color or they're hard of hearing. and we already have words for "tma" or "tme" too: "transfem" + "trans woman" or "not a trans woman/transfem." which is more specific and a million times less dehumanizing. but considering how often "tme" is used to mean "transmascs" without directly saying that, & to imply trans people who aren't transfem have it easier (because we're not "transmisogyny-affected" & they consider that the most Important axis of oppression), i don't think people are going to be willing to actually hear out criticism of the term anytime soon

[lumsel]

are you tme or tma

"i know you're nonbinary but which of these two arbitrarily constructed gender categories do you fit into" genuinely are you having a laugh

[theothin]

[gwenderling]

Referring to the distinction between those who are and aren’t affected by transmisogyny as “arbitrarily constructed gender categories” tells me exactly which of the two you fall into lmao

[thewarmvoid]

evergreen lmaooo

[diamond-ultra]

Pixel dithering shader in Blender, kinda.

I kinda just threw it on my previous pixel shader and ehhhhh, not the best looking but it could become something.

I'll put the shader online with some documentation later as I want to make it a bit easier to use and also add some other shapes.

[diamond-ultra]

Updated fully dynamic pixel art shader within blender for a game I'm working on.

Both the outlines and the inner lines grow and shrink based on camera distance.

[diamond-ultra]

Fully dynamic pixel art shader within blender for a game I'm working on.

[junkyardzeny]

I apologize in advance to anyone putting a tutorial on youtube who's voice I end up hating for having to constantly scrub the timeline back and forth because no one bothers to do written tutorials anymore

[junkyardzeny]

My toxic boomer trait is knowing some types of tutorials just do not benefit from the video format at all. I miss written tutorials so much but the current internet as it is doesn't incentivize writing. It's easier to record a video in one take and then just put it up on youtube than it is to make a written tutorial for a few reasons:

Youtube revenue

Most websites for written articles are either short-form micro blogs or for bedroom journalists like Substack

It's way easier to record something than to write it out and add images/gifs to supplement it

Most people browse the internet on a phone which means creators are taking that into account when weighing their options and often a video someone can watch on a commute ends up being the go-to.

Regardless, I really miss written tutorials. I miss them so much. I hate video tutorials so fucking much.

Also for the love of god if you're going to make a video tutorial, please edit it first! I've had too many situations where I do exactly as the video says only for there to be a jump cut to the creator going "Uh whoops! My mistake, you actually have to do it like THIS!" or they'll realize they skipped a step so I end up having to backtrack because of that.

[diamond-ultra]

Different people learn better through different methods and videos can be extremely helpful for demonstrating things. However text will forever be the fastest way of conveying and finding information in a way that video can never compete with, this is why I will always write tutorials.

[diamond-ultra]

I've opened a few too many post with "this took to long" so I'm just gonna stop doing that and accept that time hates me, anyway heres: The Revealing Frostbite Collection

As the name implies it's a set of model swaps for the upper and lower frostbite set! Get it Here: https://gamebanana.com/mods/490001

(this was so frustrating to make)

[vadlings]

Represention of Autistic Frustration in Laios Dungeon Meshi

Like many other autistic people, I related strongly to Laios Touden while reading Dungeon Meshi. This post isn't going to spend time disputing whether he displays autistic traits or not—while I could do that, I want to focus on why specifically his portrayal struck a chord with me in a way the writing of most other autistic-coded characters has not.

Disclaimer: as the above suggests, this post is strongly informed by my own experiences as an autistic person, as well as the experiences of my neurodivergent friends with whom I have spoken about this subject. I want to clarify that in no way am I asserting my personal experience to be some Universal Autistic Experience. This post is about why Laios' character feels distinct and significant to me in regard to autistic representation, and while I'm at it, I do feel that I have interesting things to say about autistic representation in media generally. This also got a bit long, so I'm sticking it under a read more. Spoilers for up to the end of chapter 88 below.

The thing that stands out most to me in regard to Laios' characterisation is the open anger he displays when someone points out his inability to read other people. This comes up prominently in his interactions with "Shuro" (Toshiro Nakamoto):

The frustration pictured above (Laios continuing to physically tussle with Toshiro, using crude language toward him) becomes even more notable when you remember that this is Laios, who, outside of these interactions, is not easily fazed and often exists as a lighthearted contrast to the rest of the cast. Then we get to Laios' nightmare.

In Falin's words: "Nightmares love emotional wounds. Wounds you hold in your heart. Things that give you stress, or things that were traumatic for you. They aggravate memories like that and cause the dreamer to have terrible dreams." (chapter 42, page 10.) (damn. i'm properly citing for this post and everything.)

Thus, Laios' nightmare establishes an important fact: even if he is unable to recognise social blunders while he's making them, he's at least subconsciously aware that other people operate on a different wavelength to him, and that he's an outsider in many of his social circles (both past and present). His dream-father's disparaging words stress the impact this has had upon his ability to live up to the expectations set out for him, and we also get a panel of kids who smirk at him (presumably former bullies to some degree). Toshiro's appearance only hammers home how much Laios is still both humiliated and angered by his misunderstanding of their relationship.

I've thought a lot about anger as concomitant to the autistic experience. When autistic representation portrays ostracization, it's generally from an angle of the autistic character being upset at how conforming to neurotypical norms doesn't come easily to them; as a result, they express a desire to 'get better' at meeting neurotypical standards, a desire to become more 'normal' (whether the writing implies this is a good thing or not). In contrast, not once does Laios go, "I need to perform better in my social interactions, and try to care less about monsters, because that's what other people find weird." His frustration is directed outward rather than inward, and as a result, it's the people around him who are framed as nonsensical.

The Winged Lion starts delineating Laios' anger, and Laios' reaction is to think to himself, "It can sense all my thoughts, huh?" (chapter 88, page 16.) This is the scene that really resonated with me. I'm not saying I have never felt the desire to conform to neurotypical norms that is borne from insecurity, but primarily, I know that I don't want to work toward becoming 'normal'—I don't want to change myself for people who follow rules I find nonsensical. It's the difference between, "Oh god, why can't I get it," and, "WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT?" (phrasing here courtesy of my friend Miles @dogwoodbite). And for me personally, Dungeon Meshi is the first time I've seen this frustration and the resultant voluntary isolation from other people portrayed in media so candidly. Laios' anger is not downplayed or written to be easily palatable, either.

The culmination of Laios' frustrations in this scene wherein we learn that Laios has fantasised about "a pack of monsters attacking a village" drives home just how alienated he really feels. I need not go into his wish to become a monster himself, redolent of how many autistic people identify/have identified with non-humans to some degree as a result of a percieved disconnect from society (when I was younger, I wanted to be a robot. I still kind of do.)

Obviously, wishing death upon other people is a weighty thing, but the unfiltered nature of this page is what deeply resonated with me. The Winged Lion is laying Laios' deepest and most transgressive desires bare, and they are desires that are a product of lifelong ostracization by others (whether intentional or unintentional). This is the brand of anger I'm familiar with, and that my neurodivergent friends express being familiar with, but that I haven't seen portrayed in writing so explicitly before—in fact, it surprised me because most well-meaning autistic representation I've experienced veers toward infantilisation in trying make the autistic character's struggles easy for neurotypicals to sympathise with.

Let's also not neglect the symbolism inherent to Laios' daydream. "A pack of monsters attacking a village". Functionally, monsters are Laios' special interest—he percieves everything first and foremost through his passion for monsters. His daydream of monsters attacking—killing—humans, is fundamentally a daydream of the world he understands (monsters) overthrowing the world that is so illogical to him, that has repeatedly shunned him (other people). I joked to my friends that it's an autistic power fantasy, and it actually sort of is. And in it, his identity is aligned with that of the monsters, while his anger manifests in a palpable dissociation from the rest of humanity. This is one manga page. It's brief. It's also very, very raw to me. I think about it often.

To conclude, I love Laios Dungeon Meshi. This portrayal of open frustration in an autistic character meant a lot to me, and I hope I've sufficiently outlined why. Also, feel free to recommend media with autistic representation in the notes if you've read this far—I would really like to see if there is more of this nature. Thank you for reading. I'm very tired and should probably sleep now.

[diamond-ultra]

The bots are breaking.

[diamond-ultra]

Fanart of Legotora mech designs: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/75025548

This was supposed to be a quick style test for a larger project but man did I not realize how complicated this would be.

First I didn't realize how complex the design actually was with things like the pipe things connect the torso to the elbows and the back feather parts (also somehow I didn't notice this is a Linebarrels of Iron OC till the 80% mark, so that's kinda funny).

Second I've found that I just kinda hate painting more traditional textures, I should just go back to focusing on more heavily stylised stuff.

Third was all that vertex painting stuff, like this wasn't actually that hard to make, it was just modifying what Pawę Piotrowski https://blenderartists.org/t/animated-vertex-lighting/1468617/4 already made but it didn't come together till the very end which is pretty demoralizing.

[diamond-ultra]

Creating Custom Characters - A Bomb Rush Cyberfunk Modding Guide

Creating Custom Characters for BombRushCyberFunk [Bomb Rush Cyberfunk] [Tutorials]

Creating Custom Characters... A Bomb Rush Cyberfunk (BRC) Tutorial in the Character Modding category, submitted by Diamond Ultra

I wrote a big long guide on how to mod Bomb Rush Cyberfunk.

[diamond-ultra]

I made @chknnuggs-the-eel cyberhead designs into a actual mod!

Get it here: https://gamebanana.com/mods/475226

[diamond-ultra]

fshi

[diamond-ultra]

This took far to long but hey she look cool! Made this for a BRC modding tutorial I'm making.

Get It Here: https://gamebanana.com/mods/473932