Carmie

This is my creative outlet where I will document my style, travels, fancies, and life through writings, photos, and (at times) videos.

[drxgonfly]

Mount Rainier, Washington (by Protik Hossain)

[diannecarmie]

I feel like I’ve abandoned this space but I miss writing terribly. 

[diannecarmie]

2017′s over

2017 was quite eventful, too eventful rather that I often had to pause because I could barely keep up. This year was nothing but a challenge but I’m definitely most grateful for everything. I graduated from college, started working, been to beautiful places with family and friends, and maintained relationships with people who matter most. Despite all the mishaps, I am still one lucky girl. 

I still have that same desire to share stories and craft them creatively but I have been stuck lately in a massive creative rut. That is one excuse and the other is quite practical-- my life has been revolving around my work. It isn’t the job I dreamed about but it’s a good start for someone who’s still new to all of this. But I’d be lying if I won’t say that there were numerous times that I almost wanted to quit. Hey, adulting is not easy after all. 

This year, I hope to live more and long for people and places that makes my heart happy. And here’s to also hoping that I’d be able to maintain this outlet for everything that happens and whatever comes in between. 

[diannecarmie]

Bitch Trip 1.0

See Vlog: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thJghBcwwd4

It seemed appropriate to come back with a life lately post but I couldn’t get my head on working on one. So here goes a long overdue post of a beach trip with high school friends last July.  This is one of those trips that finally turned into reality. 

As I try to recall what happened in this trip, echoes of laughter and a sudden rush of mixed feelings peep through my heart-- reminding me of an honest episode that lead to a drastic change that I failed to foresee. And something else that I remember about this trip is this unexplainable comfort that my heart longed for. 

The place we stayed in Calatagan wasn’t exactly breathtaking. It wasn’t the place that made this trip worthy of recollection. I am certain it was the people I got to spend time with. After all, about seven years of friendship means something to each one of us despite its different forms. 

[diannecarmie]

Just when I was so close to giving up with all the ‘adult’ stuff I have to deal with, I got hired! I didn’t even have the time to take it all in because work started immediately. I have been employed for almost a month now and I just have to say that I’m already missing life as an undergrad. Life is just happening too quickly and I hope I won’t lose my grip. 

[diannecarmie]

Iloilo 2017

Here’s a video diary for our quick trip in Iloilo. The trip was actually pressed for time because we only had about 24 hours to explore the city.

[diannecarmie]

Boracay 2017

This video diary I made takes me back to my three-day island life in Boracay and here I am finally sharing it here. Unlike my blog posts that are taking me forever to draft and/or write, I finished this video a few days just after the trip. Better late than never, right?

[diannecarmie]

salt water heart

Taking you guys with me to my most awaited escape right after university graduation in para para paradise-- Boracay! Think finishing your college degree and waking up in a beautiful paradise such as this. Besides my mom and dad, my three closest cousins tagged along with us which means I had my favorite cousin to take my photos. ;)

Upon seeing the sea shore, my salt water heart was beaming with excitement. I mean, it has been a while since I went on a beach trip and this time, I didn’t have to worry about anything. No homework, paper, report, or undergraduate thesis to get in my way and I was kind of in a celebratory mood the whole trip because I graduated from my dream university (UPLB represent!) and life just couldn’t get any better.  But I have to admit, a part of me was still holding back and I couldn’t help but recall the university life that I had and most especially the people I spent it with.  

Our second day was the most eventful one. The whole day was saved for different activities that will allow us to explore the beauty of Boracay. Case in point, we hopped from one island to another, parasailed, tried helmet diving, and rode the banana boat. I started to feel tired and unwell in the middle of it all but it just took some sriracha wings from Yellow Cab to make me feel a bit better. I was in such a beautiful place and I would forever regret it if I missed out on anything. 

Night life in Boracay is a whole different story. Let’s just say that my cousins and I checked it out and cue in parental guidance from my mom and dad. So let’s just talk about how we ate so much seafood and grilled meat that having to wear a cute swimsuit or outfit the next day didn’t bother me at all. 

I took home with me some tan lines, a shade darker skintone, and lots of crazy good stories from this trip; all from Boracay with love. And as I walk away with sandy toes and sun kissed skin, I couldn’t help but wish for the moment to last a little longer. 

[diannecarmie]

halt

I

I should be writing about finally graduating from college, my one week vacation in paradise, and how challenging looking for a job is but lo and behold-- my life just stopped and all the happiness I feel faded away as I got slapped by the cold and harsh truth. 

Honestly, I’m forcing myself to write right now because I would like to believe that it will make me feel better. But I’m not so sure anymore. It’s funny how something I love that could give me comfort before cannot mend even just a little bit of the pain I feel today. 

I am livid. I am hurt. I am scared. I am tired. I am confused.  My heart feels so fragile yet a part of it tries to remind me of the good things. Although, my mind is nagging me that what I am trying to hold onto may have changed through time. 

No one ever told me how hard these things could be. I am fighting to reclaim myself and it is not easy but definitely necessary. 

You

But you were a mix of opposing elements that I have loved and admired for the longest time. Thinking about you reminds me of endless conversations and comfortable silence that composed happier times and foolish arguments. Although, many had their eyes on you, it felt surreal to know that yours was mine alone. 

You are a collection of endless possibilities. You are not a single identity trapped in specificity. And I’d always be glad that I knew you better than anyone else. You allowed me into your world and boy, ain’t I lucky? 

Writing about you makes me realize how we have grown so much together, and most especially it reminds me of stories and adventures that could go on forever. The universe just has its way of filtering people in our lives and you will always be my constant among many others. 

Isn’t it quite ironic that I am writing about you fondly? 

So here it goes, you swore you wouldn’t but you did. 

We

And now, how did we end up here? How could something so perfect spiral down to something like this? 

[diannecarmie]

declutter

Remember how I said I wanted to start over as I started this blog as thedreamingbelle? Well, I kinda feel stuck again nor do I still feel like that branding suits me. With the recent changes I’ve been making in how i present and write my content; I felt the need to make some room for change. Hence, changing my blog name and url. 

So why didn’t I delete everything or moved to a different platform? Well, unlike my old blog way back in high school, I am still convinced that the few posts I made here since 2014 definitely still speaks a lot about me (though some of them kinda make me cringe and makes me wonder why I wrote about such things). And I don’t feel like leaving tumblr completely, I have grown in this website and I cherish all the memories I’ve made here. For the reasons as to why I create content, I think tumblr is still the right avenue for me. 

Now, why Carmie? Simple, it’s my first name (actually it’s Dianne Carmie) but using Carmie instead of both did sound fancy. I realized that it’s about time I embrace my identity. I could have used my nickname but it’s kinda overused because all of my social media accounts are named after it. 

Thus, here I am again, feeling bits of excitement and apprehension. I really hope that this time I will be able to post on a regular basis. I have some trouble with consistency because life is just so hectic sometimes. 

[diannecarmie]

life lately

I am still a college senior struggling to finish her manuscript because of all the distractions life has to offer. I have to say, juggling a normal academic load with an undergraduate thesis takes a lot of time management, sudden break downs, binge eating on ferrero rocher and gummy bears, and consistent caffeine dosage. 

Manuscript deadline is this month (seven days left to be exact). Hence, I have been meaning to write posts here but I couldn’t just find the time. Right now, I am using my ten minute break according to my pomodoro timer in this chrome extension called lanes to draft this. 

I never thought writing could be this exhausting, props to university life! Every time I stop and read through my progress, I always feel like some thing is lacking or it could be written better or maybe I should overhaul a specific paragraph or section. 

[diannecarmie]

glimmer

Often times, the moments I remember not caring about anything academic or personal is whenever I do something spontaneous-- case in point, having 30-minute photo shoots for a creativity boost with my friend, Roi.

My consistent affinity with boho clothing comes in handy in this kind of weather for it gives me the freedom to feel at ease despite the heat. Though, I couldn’t say the same for my sunburnt legs.

Currently, as I rattle my brain out to write something creative, I find myself being haunted by my undergraduate thesis-- which is a total opposite of what I’m trying to do here but is my key to finally get out of college in two to three months time.

Nonetheless, if there’s any takeaway from this post, is that 1) despite all the hardships, I have managed to survive without resorting to hibernation; 2) campus life is beautiful if you choose to see past through all those sleepless nights and excessive caffeine intakes; and 3) I have to go back to writing my manuscript.

[diannecarmie]

When you’re practically there for everyone

then comes your turn,

and you had no one;

you start remembering everything,

feeling everything,

until you feel nothing

all at once. 

[diannecarmie]

All Night

Strolling with light up crowns in our heads, delivering food bouquets, walking around stalls twice or thrice a night, having a couple of drinks, singing along with bands, going home late and not even going home at all-- that was about it for my last fair (as a student).

There was something different about this fair that I couldn’t pinpoint. Maybe, it’s just the thought that it’s my last as an undergrad. But among all these last things I’ve experienced during the fair, I never thought I’d feel another that felt like a first. 

For some, I always have everything planned out. But this specific Saturday night, I was out to listen to Moonstar88 live with my bffs. Extremely nonchalant of all my responsibilities, I had the whole night til sunrise to fit all my adventures and forget about all the stress in my life. There was no room for a time check. Whatever, I had to live a little. 

Moonstar88′s Migraine started the long night. Aside from my bffs, the troop grew for we were with some of our high school friends-- a mix of the constants and people I missed. Amidst, there were glances, blank stares, hopeful smiles, and a whole lot of silence. 

Around three to four songs later, the silence was gone. 

While most people were catching up on sleep, we had none. It was almost 4:00 am and we ended up at the terrace of a friends’ house; five friends, two bottles of liquor, and one pack of tortillas. 

As the night grew deeper and the liquor starts to kick in while I hear all the endless queries, my guard was down. It only took one question in which the answer was yes. Everything else just disappeared and it was probably one of those nights that I should regret but I’m grateful. 

Now am I happy?

Yes. 

[diannecarmie]

embroidered

Ever since we came home from Bangkok, I have been obsessed with anything that has embroidery on it. I love how embroidery makes every detail intricate and it has this specific yet subtle boho vibe. 

I’m currently experimenting on how I want my posts to be like after my supposed “declutter.” So far, I like what I’m heading towards. 

[confidenc-e]

To evolve, you have to dismantle, and that means accepting the idea that nothing you’ve created in the past matters anymore, except that it brought you here.

John Mayer (via confidenc-e)

[diannecarmie]

Unicorn Cafe

Of course, our Bangkok trip wouldn’t be complete without a visit to the Unicorn Cafe! Since I loooooveeee unicorns, I just had to check the place out. It wasn’t breathtaking and I wasn’t really impressed with the place. As for the food, it was okay.   

I guess, what I really enjoyed was borrowing a unicorn onesie and being surrounded with unicorn stuffed toys in a fancy studded sofa. At least during my stay in the cafe, I was able to fulfill a bit of my unicorn dreams.

Anyway, here’s the link to a short video I made about it: https://youtu.be/7W5gVKvG3J8