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@diavorchid
company (what the living do)
[holmward (jack x arthur) | +quincey +lucy mentioned | post-canon, 7 years gap, hurt/comfort, grief, happy ending]
[ ao3 link ] rated T, 15.9k words
instead of an excerpt, let me just dump the illustrations here haha
cat pics
Looping (Trade)
READ THE FIC ON AO3 NOWWWW
Strattland are truly the platonic soulmates doomed by the narrative, you can’t convince me otherwise. Just look at them:
Chasing after him personally to bring him onto the project, to watching him run, having neither the heart to stop him personally nor the choice to let him go anymore.
Going from needing two coffees to function and heading straight to work, to sharing one cup each and simply being still for a moment, together.
From bringing him into rooms and making everyone there appreciate him, to leading the room that is fully aware he is their only saving grace.
From “Must be hard, having to ask everybody to… you know.”
“Actually, it isn’t.”
To... “Don’t make this harder, please.”
The first and last time he makes her smile, by acknowledging her intelligence, (and being snarky about it).
By being surprised that she knows he was fired for calling the leading scholar in his field a “staggering waste of carbon,” rather than for standing by what he said as he tried to imply. And years later by throwing the phrase, “You’re smart, you’ll figure it out,” right back at her.
(& I could go on and on, like even about the items passed between them... the hackysack that’s not lava, and the xenon Grace figurine that’s not a gas :))))
re-reading the explosion and the aftermath for personal reasons and oh my god i'm going insane. eva stratt i'm in your head i'm in your walls.
there's an explosion nine days before the launch and he's the first thing she's worried about.
you know she immediately is freaking out over how she let this happen. it's her fault. they shouldn't have been there and she didn't spot it.
and who can she rely on to find the answer she needs?
but immediately once she knows the stakes she cuts him off.
doesn't speak to him for four whole days. the person she has involved for everything. and then when she does!!!!
she says the first of very many mean things to him. and I know she doesn't mean it because it's one of the first things she says about him to the others!! all the way back in chapter 5 before they even knew he had the coma gene!!
i'm going insane.
thinking about how stratt packed for grace, got him ramen, made sure the coffee was to his liking, packed him the earth bean bag she took when they first met, packed him all of his silly shirts, even the cat one she judged him for, got tons of letters from his students to encourage him and packed a picture of him, topping it all off with a fox because she knew he liked them.
and people try to say they hated each other.
The deep grief of being a student of Ryland Grace and learning that he has gone on the mission. You are excited because he said the best minds were on it and, well, he's the smartest guy you know! And then you hear that he's not coming back in time for the school year. Or the next. Or the next. Or, well, at all.
Everyone finds out differently. Some are religiously reading everything about the mission and go still in the darkness of their beds, phone glowing in front of their face. Some of them get sat down gently by their parents, maybe even with a counselor or therapist, to explain what's happening. Still more feel like a bolt of lightning has hit them when their friends whisper the news in class.
Undeniably -- and many of them try -- the fact that haunts them is that he went up for them. For their future. For everybody's future, some manage to rationalize, but those who think too hard cannot ignore it. Not for any faceless group of children -- their names and faces and laughs and questions must have been on his mind when he said yes.
It becomes a solid weight between them all. Ex students of his feel it too. If you know someone used to know and love Dr. Ryland Grace, you drop everything to help them when they fall, even if it's just a silent hand. The older students in particular latch onto the class he disappeared on, becoming fiercely protective. New kinship is formed. When they're old enough (even 16, if their parents relent), many of them get tattoos to remember him, even as they're covered up by the increasing layers they need to go outside. A beanie ball of the Earth. Laika the dog. His glasses. The date he left. Sometimes, just a red Petrova Line.
The first year that ex students of his graduate high school, he's mentioned in the Valedictorian's speech. She wasn't even a student of his, but she's grateful that he saved her best friend's life with his care and compassion. She says she hopes that his dreams are sweet. Ryland Grace hasn't even woken up yet.
When his class graduates, there's a seat saved for him in the teacher's row. The principal, throat thick, says that Dr. Grace would be proud of all of them. People leave flowers on the seat and his students get a special tassel.
Babies start being named after him, this time by people who actually knew him. Grief doesn't fade, but the space it occupies gets smaller, turns into an extra jolt of pain when they look up at the darkening sun and know that someone very smart is up there, trying to fix it.
On his "wake-up" day, a bunch of them get together again. They forget old grievances and brush past the awkwardness that time has grown. They show how their tattoos look now. They tell stories and try to guess what alarm clock music he would pick. They try to think of how he'd react to their lives. Many of them are teachers now. One of them has a framed selfie of them on their desk. They laugh about how embarassed he'd pretend to be while being deeply touched.
Eventually, eventually, they see his face again. It's so odd -- they have grown and loved and lost and yet he looks exactly the same. Wears the same shirts. When the government brings those who want to come to a naval base to show them exclusive footage, he teaches the same way, too. They all get a hard and digital copy of the special message he left for them. It confirms what they've known all these years -- that he is happy to serve for the future that they've been having, that their kids and grandkids will have, that he hopes has been treating them well. Listening to all of his adventures, all that he has gained and done for them, it doesn't feel like blame anymore.
eva stratt online shopping coping mechanism
Wanted to do this trend. Thank you to @themornal for the voice work!
His home got blown up while he was sleeping :/
the past few months @tizzymcwizzy and I have been writing a fic (still not finished) where Phoenix wakes up to find that he's switched places with himself from 13 years prior. age gap narumitsu galore!
Growing up is actually all about realizing people don’t inherently dislike you and it’s a bit odd to assume they do
This
there are more tweets in this thread
fucking SLAY
this isnt even the full thread, there are even MORE tweets to this thread that i think are really necessary to read if you do what op is talking about! it is not enough to know that feeling this way hurts the people you love, we already know that.
this rest of the thread continues after the third tweet from the reblog.
like THE FULL THREAD is genuinely so reassuring.
sometimes, it is not enough to just know, sometimes you might need that reassurance of "do you really think of me when i'm away?" and someone reassuring you that yeah, they do. and evaluate that! trust that! just like op did.
and then learning that ykw, it's NOT any of my business really. and finding comfort in that trust that like. whether they are or aren't thinking of me, they really do love me.
this full thread changed my life and i am ALWAYS going to give the full thread because the parts people cut out aren't enough for the people experiencing these things, speaking as someone who does. it, really it just makes us, made me, feel bad about my own capabilities when i saw the unfinished thread.
why do i like you so much (batlantern)
i went with bruce, the idea of hal crashing on of his fancy events is too fun
i have many thoughts on lee gilyoung and kim dokja but i fear i may explode if i try to articulate them fully
there is something to be said in the way kdj and orv as a whole really tends to sidestep lgy. like kdj cares about lgy of course. and orv obviously wants us to care about lgy or else they would have killed him off for shock value or fridged him way earlier than they did or something. and yet he remains in the main story but still on the sidelines
i think there is something very sad to be said about how kdj very openly tends to love on/lavish attention onto sys and like consciously acknowledge that she is, in many ways, his daughter, yet doesnt really do the same for lgy. there is something very sad to be said about the way kdj tends to refer to sys individually, but only to lgy in the collective "kids." there is something very sad in the way kdj saw himself in lgy the first time he saw him on the subway and saw him both as a boy to be saved and a tool to be used and i dont think their relationship ever really recovered from this.
like he cares about them because he doesnt want to be a shitty father-figure but hes a shitty father-figure because he cares. and while sys is saved from the brunt of this to a degree because shes a character so he can just mimic how yjh treats her in worldlines where she's saved and get by on that, lgy doesnt have that kind of support. lgy is not a fictional wunderkid or pitiable, fragile little girl (however true or false that assessment of sys is). hes a snot nosed foul mouthed violent boy obsessed with bugs and death and kdj, i think, knows he ought to care for him but he doesnt know how and doesnt bother to learn and that, i believe, the not-bothering that is, is what truly incriminates him as a shitbag father. hes afraid so he doesnt try and lgy spends 90% of orv being terrified kdj secretly hates him and the worst part is hes almost right
copic acrea stuff
