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‘ my kink is getting some fuckin sleep. ’ ‘ omg here goes your lil crybaby ass. ’ ‘ the beatles wouldn’t even fucking exist if big time rush hadn’t paved the path for them so shut the fuck up. ’ ‘ don’t start buddy. don’t you dare. ’ ‘ gay rights? true, as a gay, i am always right. ’ ‘ not to vent, but: fuck. ’ ‘ the worst pain is to make small talk with someone you once told everything to. ’ ‘ i think i accidentally break my own heart a lot. ’ ‘ sometimes ‘brb’ stands for ‘be ready bitch’ so you have to be careful. ’ ‘ i want to kiss you in a way that makes you not want to kiss anyone else ever again. ’ ‘ shout out to the people who are still friends with me even though i’m a fucking idiot. ’ ‘ it’s safe to assume that at any given moment i want to go back to bed. ’ ‘ i’m a big fan of anything that will help me chill the fuck out. ’ ‘ i don’t go through people’s pictures on their phone cause i wasn’t raised in the jungle. ’ ‘ i think we, as a people, just need to have a glass of water. ’ ‘ i don’t have enough black clothes. ’ ‘ sweetie, i could sleep for ten years and i’d still be tired. ’ ‘ i would sleep so much better with your arms wrapped around me. ’ ‘ me??? tired??? sleepy??? yes, constantly. ’ ‘ i’m pb&j – petty, bitter, and jealous. ’ ‘ the fact that sloths aren’t extinct somehow proves that if you go at your own pace and mind your own fucking business you too can succeed. ’ ‘ i wish i could be the person i want to be, but i’m too tired. ’ ‘ i always look sleep deprived. is that hot? ’ ‘ just because there’s always room for improvement doesn’t mean you’ll never be good enough. ’ ‘ my heart is a soft and sensitive mess. ’ ‘ all i want is a big garden and no responsibilities. ’ ‘ honestly someone not liking beyonce is a deal breaker and not for any political reasons, but just like you’re probably, definitely really boring. ’ ‘ hey guys, i’m a huge fan of genuine love and affection. ’ ‘ now i’m falling asleep and she’s calling a crab and he’s having a smoke and she’s kissing the crab. ’ ‘ i’ve been ever since i heard ‘lonely’ by akon at 9 years-old. ’ ‘ my new years resolution is to stop. ’ ‘ i’m irritated cause i’m not lovable in a romantic soulmate way. ’ ‘ i hate knowing that people that ruined parts of me still live and function like nothing ever happened. ’ ‘ i know i’m cute, but you can remind me. ’ ‘ hey, just wondering, but are you fucking kidding me???? ’ ‘ i can’t wait to be in love with someone who is also deepfuck in love with me and we love each other forever n’ ever. ’ ‘ me? clingy? yes. please don’t leave me. ’ ‘ girlfriend application compatibility question: do you keep your depression pile on the bed or on the floor? ’ ‘ anything heart shaped is automatically 200% better. this is a fact. ’ ‘ today’s agenda: screaming into the abyss. ’ ‘ going from ‘today is a good day’ to ‘i hate my life’ takes me approximately 2.6 seconds. ’ ‘ everyone needs to wash their face and go to bed. ’ ‘ i’m worth so much more than the ways i’ve been treated. ’ ‘ hey, can i claim you guys as dependents on my taxes? ’ ‘ i really just ignore phone calls. like leave a message. i don’t check those either but like ’ ‘ i honestly just want to pack my bags and go travel the world and see and explore everything possible. ’ ‘ remember being little and thinking dandelions were fun or a pretty color or something and every adult in an 80 mile radius wouldn’t let you say that without screaming IT’S A WEED. ’ ‘ why did we just accept catdog? ’ ‘ my ‘stay in bed all day’ game’s too strong. ’ ‘ you deserve to be loved without having to hide the parts of yourself that you think are unlovable. ’ ‘ i always forget that i literally don’t owe anyone anything! ’ ‘ i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on. ’ ‘ honestly… us girls? us women? we always out here, knowin. ’ ‘ would an alien think i’m pretty? ’ ‘ i love boys, but only as a concept. ’ ‘ why do parents get mad when you sleep in all day? like i’m staying out of trouble and i’m not spending your money like what’s the issue here???? ’ ‘ i identify as an inconvenience to the world. ’ ‘ i seriously regret telling anyone, anything, ever lmao ’ ‘ dating me is like dating a five year-old. i need all of your attention and i’m cranky if i haven’t had a nap. ’ ‘ i’m literally tired of myself. ’ ‘ don’t introduce me to ur parents unless you plan on marrying me because they’re going to love me and ask about me for the rest of your life lol ’ ‘ what the hell is a straight person? only straight thing i know about is the edge of my beloved sword. ’ ‘ i highly recommend never having feelings. ’ ‘ self care is going into a cornfield at night to get abducted by aliens. ’ ‘ staying up late with another human is such a weird thing like you get this special bond and a what-is-this feeling ’ ‘ do u ever feel like ur not even friends with ur friends? ’ ‘ um no offense but whom’st’ve going to loveth me? ’ ‘ date a girl who fucks everything up. ’ ‘ not all who mcfreakin wander are mcfreakin lost. ’ ‘ i may legally be an adult but don’t be fooled. i have no idea what i’m doing. ’ ‘ a fun and interesting fact about me is that i’m a fucking idiot. ’ ‘ you can start again anytime! ’ ‘ all you can do is learn your lesson. there’s no point in wishing you had did differently. the past is the past. ’ ‘ i can’t believe an angel like me has to suffer so much. ’ ‘ you’re all so obsessed with love and being loved. what about just going to sleep? ’ ‘ i’m smart, but i do dumb shit anyway. ’ ‘ tbh i never deal with my emotions. i just let them ravage my body and then go to bed and then i wake up and do it all over again. ’ ‘ first of all: i don’t know shit, so jot that down. ’ ‘ i’ll just ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯ my way through life. ’ ‘ i’m tired of things costing money. ’ ‘ don’t you hate it when you’re dead inside and run out of apps to refresh? ’ ‘ who cares? do better, move on. ’ ‘ i don’t need a significant other. just a significant income. ’ ‘ appreciation for everyone who’s ever talked to me bc i’m annoying and dumb. ’ ‘ thnks fr th mntl llnss. ’ ‘ what hasn’t killed me has just made me overly sensitive and defensive. ’ ‘ i don’t know shit ya’ll!!!!! i’m just out here. ’ ‘ binge-watching is great until you run out of the show and have to start watching it weekly like some sort of medieval peasant. ’ ‘ i’m in the wrong realm and i think everyone can tell. ’ ‘ this might come as a shock but I’m Not Feelin too good my dudes. ’ ‘ i’m alive, but only ironically. ’ ‘ there she goes again being over dramatic and by she, i mean me. ’ ‘ do you ever feel like have tried Too Hard to a friend and now you have become That Obnoxious Weirdo? ’ ‘ lgbt: lasagna! garfield’s beloved treat. ’ ‘ my favorite phrase in the english language is ‘i shit you not.’ ’ ‘ i’m a real boring bitch! a snoozer! ’ ‘ i honestly look so good lounging in an oversized t-shirt and no pants. when will someone experience the blessing of domestic living w/ me? ’ ‘ you don’t understand how hard it is to take a selfie when you’re ugly. ’ ‘ you son of a mumford! ’ ‘ hi, i’m here to ruin everything. ’ ‘ you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their hands. for example, if it’s a skeleton hand then they’re dead. ’ ‘ the year is 2020 and i am found guilty of treason against the united states for vague blogging that i hate someone and donald trump thought it was about him. ’ ‘ everybody calm down, we’re going to be fine! :))) we’ve weathered worse than this! :) :) :) :) really all this panic just seems like a huge overreaction imho ’ ‘ no beta readers. we publish our crap writing like men. ’ ‘ i need $$$$$ not feelings. ’ ‘ ‘idk imma see’ = i ain’t coming, never was coming, never considered it, never gave it a single thought, only remembered cause you asked again. ’ ‘ oops, i don’t care lol ’ ‘ why girls always crop the halo out of their selfies? stop being so modest. we know the truth. ’ ‘ maurice, you’re not gonna fucking believe this, ’ ‘ i always get told i look like a bitch bc i’m always glaring while i walk, but i’m not glaring, i’m squinting. i have sensitive eyes. they’re watering. ’ ‘ concept: it’s 3 am. candle lit room. a record is spinning. you’re kissing me. we have no worries in the world. we’re warm and content. ’ ‘ i need to go into the forest and scream for an hour and a half. ’ ‘ pls kill all men who yell at girls from cars. ’ ‘ life really isn’t what i expected it to be. less quicksand. almost no quicksand to be honest. lots of metaphorical quicksand tho. ’ ‘ i have a question for u: like are u done… like is it over? ’ ‘ we all have that one person who ruins your day by being alive. ’ ‘ we all have that one person who ruins your day by being alive. for me, it’s myself. ’ ‘ whenever i see police i always try not to act suspicious and fail internally even though i never did anything wrong. ’ ‘ new years resolution: less bitter, more glitter. ’
