I’m sorry to hear that this division is happening in our fandom when we should be sticking together the most. I’ve stayed off this topic other than voice a few encouraging post about supporting SHINee and the domes. But I’d like to point out the following, and hopefully, people reading this will find understanding with each other.
Moving “ON” vs. Moving “FORWARD”
Let’s think of the context of moving “on” as different from moving “forward.” Moving on implies leaving something behind versus moving forward where one has to gain momentum or overtake/pass an obstacle to advance from a current state. What SHINee is doing is trying to move forward. They’re trying to overcome their grief not forget Jjong. And that should not be seen as anything other than admirable. (I don’t want to talk to you if you think otherwise).
Agreed that no one should be policing how anyone feels. Emotions are not controlled by a flick of a switch, but they can be contained. Please don’t say that SHINee is moving very fast or that continuing with the domes is too soon. Or that you’re not ready to see only 4 people on stage. While all of these are valid feelings, it’s not necessary to voice them out on a platform where SHINee could see them and be made to feel guilty for moving forward. Let’s not police their feelings and make them feel like our support died with Jonghyun. (or make them ask us for it). Create private groupchats and lament with people who are grieving the same way as you are so you have a release valve. But on public platforms, please show solidarity with SHINee.
Yes, it hurts a lot, but here is our chance to return the strength we gained from SHINee’s music. This time around, let it be our smiles that gives them the courage to continue on. We can’t really know how hard this is for them, but we do know they’re hurting and they could use all the support we can give.
You are not hurting any more than I am or vice versa
I think each of us should consider - really consider - what we mean when we say grieving and coping is different for everyone. Some may take longer than others in their grief, and that’s fine. Some might prefer not to dwell on the emotion associated with a loss because 1) their grieving period is shorter than others - that’s fine. 2) a form of self-protection because they can’t handle intense emotions - that’s fine. 3) they only want to remember the good times - that’s fine too. However, you’re dealing with Jjong’s passing, don’t pass judgment and resist the urge to inflict pain just because you’re in pain.
However fast or slow you are grieving remember you have to move forward. You can’t stay rooted in a place of sadness and grief. Whether, it be with SHINee or another group that can put a smile on your face again - find something/someone that can make you happy. Sadness and death are not Jonghyun’s legacy. It’d be tragic if those were the first things you associated Jonghyun with. Take your time grieving but plan to move forward.
Respect Onew, Key, Minho and Taemin’s choice. They’re doing their best to cope, the least we can do is smile and tell them they’re doing great.
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