Hi

I'm Maddie??? Idk.

[mar4nda]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[shownoshade]

my friend got kicked out of stats because she was eating a banana and she didn’t appreciate it

[theyslayedthedragon]

[dennys]

If you’re up really late studying for finals, try swapping your contact solution with coffee for a quick pick-me-up.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

dennys you’re taking a serious risk here don’t forget people actually tried drilling holes in their iphones to get the headphone jack back

[onlytwitterpics]

[catoverlord]

[iamonlykidding-deactivated20210]

[ouchmyworm-deactivated20190708]

[verdeinvolumes-deactivated20190]

[braetsch]

[jean-kirschtussy]

pumbloom-initiative

when you hear your name said in a public place even though nobody you know is there and your name is rare af

[bob-belcher]

[redriyo]

"what's your sexual orientation"

[misterlupin]

so in writer’s craft our assignment is to write the worst poem we can possibly create

and we’re having a contest and i think i’m going to win

[proseposeur]

Okay here’s a dramatic reading of it

[misterlupin]

aRE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME I’M GONNA PISS

[fall-out-pan]

EVERY FUCKING TIME

[thehausoftay]

[croutoncat]

[gunvolt]

im going to have a stroke

[drunp-archive-deactivated201711]

[dat-soldier]

[dat-soldier]

25 years ago, Ice Cube had a good day.

[kimreesesdaughter]

My child: Who became President after Obama?

Me:

[pro-gay-deactivated20170112]

Me at work: wow I can’t wait to go home and take a shower and make some food and wash my clothes and learn advanced biology and apply for NASA and make a breakthrough in modern physics Me: *Gets home and falls asleep on the door handle*