Different Ipsum

Filling gaps since 2013

[differentipsum]

For when... it’s sporty

And so, as we enter the final minutes, it looks like it's not going to be the fairytale ending the home side were hoping for. Still they've put up a magnificent fight, and it's all credit to the visitors that they were able to take their chances when they came. The manager there, a fan favourite, is right to smile as his team see out the final minutes. And, despite the defeat, today will of course be long remembered for that landmark goal from their ever present talisman. A goal that takes him to 100 goals for the club and puts him third on the all time list. There's some people on the pitch, they think it's all over. It is now. But you can just paste this paragraph again if you need more copy.

[differentipsum]

For when... it’s political

If there's a box somewhere, you should think about putting a cross in it. Shows intent. It's important people get the sense they're meant to partipate in democracy. Of course, in real life it doesn't have to be a cross. Legally I mean. As long as you mark the ballot clearly and there's no confusion as to who you're intending to vote for. Tip for the future there. File it away. If you're designing something right now and it's not in black and white, then maybe have a think about the colours you've used. They can, after all, be rather suggestive in this context. Yellow you've covered a couple of bases, blue or red you're really nailing your colours to the page, as it were. Purple you might want to avoid.

[differentipsum]

For when... it’s your birthday

Once this is done I'll be rushing straight out the door, across town and into as dark and dingy a hovel as I was able to book last minute. Once there I'll while away the next several hours at the expense of friends, family and hopefully complete strangers too. There may be more candles on the cake than I'd strictly like to see at this stage in my career, but hey, you've got to embrace the future, right? There may not be a Scalextric wrapped up at the bottom of my bed, and it may not be appropriate to invite a clown into my home anymore, but it's still my birthday and I'm going to blow the lid off it in every way I can.

[differentipsum]

For when... it's overdue

So look, I'm sorry. But it was out of my hands. For the most part anyway. You never got the brief to me in time and you chose to have this job run over the last couple of weeks of the football season. So fine, it is late, but you know what? I think it's really good. And it's not late late. It's just 'late' based on your timeline. It's still going to hit the printers in time. As long as you approve it. Guess you'd better approve it then...

[differentipsum]

For when... it’s late at night

I'm barely concious of what I'm doing right now having been awake for a sum total of 20 hours. These words? Could mean anything. That box I just drew? Could be a circle. I've had the same Family Guy episode on in the background for hours now and I still don't really know why they keep going fishing. I've run out of batteries in my mouse so I'm solo on the trackpad and I keep getting confused as to how I'm supposed to scroll. On my frequent trips to the kitchen to get more grapes (I love a good grape) I've now seen seven foxes. Might have been the same fox multiple times. Or a subset of seven some other number of times. Yep. Probably best to finish this in the mornugnifdjk

[differentipsum]

For when... there's not much text

This should do for now.

[differentipsum]

For when... it's sunny outside

Here I am, tapping our words, when I could be out there. Out in the sun. The developers joke about being put down in the basement away from the prying eyes of the world, but I call them the lucky ones. They have nothing for their eyes to pry upon and, on a glorious day when the sun weighs heavy in the bold blue sky, and the grass fills with green and the streets with smiles. There is nothing more leadening to my heart than the tippy tap tap of keyboard and screen and fingers on desk being able to see that. I could be throwing a frisbee that twists towards an unknowing picnicker, or dropping an ice cream only three licks in. I could be shielding my eyes with a pamphlet for open air Shakespeare, or putting my socks back on. Instead I'm filling these boxes of text and shutting the blinds.

[differentipsum]

For when... it's a website

It's amazing to think this text exists only as binary information translated by computers from tiny 1s and 0s into this wondrous literary quip you see before you. Given that, it's amazing what you can do with the text when you have the power of programming at your finger tips. You can make it link to things. You can style it. You can even make it responsive to actions from the user, passively based on the device their using, or actively if you really want to have some fun. Of course, having text online also means people can easily copy and paste it and save it via email, or an online bookmarking tool, or share it directly to their networks. Online text really is the most forward thinking of all the text offerings. Catalogues, annual reports and crisp packets quake in the presence of the all conquering online text box.

[differentipsum]

For when... you're in a rush

There's probabyl some typos and stupid mistakes in this text but don't worry, it's just been (being!) thrown down on the fly to fill the white space while there's more important things to be getting on with (it will be changed later to the actual content and then none of this will matter, so what's the point wasting time on it?) None, that's the point. So that's why we're here. Good. Done. Now can we stop worrying about exactly what's being said in this entirely random box of text and get on with the more important things that need doing like working out where this text is actually going to end up in the first place and what it should actually look like.

[differentipsum]

For when... you're working on a newspaper

The news just in: this lay out is fantastic. Some minutes ago, right here on this very page, the final touches were applied to what is being talked about by many as 'the design of the decade'. Eye witness reports from those present at the creation of this paper however, suggest that it wasn't an easy task. Matilda Worthing, 42, of Evesham told us "there were times when we weren't sure that it was all going to come together, but we're glad it has". At the time of writing the design team weren't available for comment, but pictures leaked from inside the studio showed many smiling faces, and even an eyebrow-raise of pride. In other news, there has been some dispute over the ownership of photos used in an initial layout of this newspaper, with an unnamed antagonist claiming illegal use of images pulled from Google. The designer hit back claiming that these were merely placeholders never intended for public consumption, and that every image used was done so under an appropriate Creative Commons licence. The case continues.

[differentipsum]

For when... the client keeps making random amends

Now don't worry - because I know you already are - this can change. This sentence, this font, this spacing, this colour, this whole thing if need be. In fact, since this project reached a second week of amends I've decided to drop in fairly random elements safe in the knowledge that you will point me in the right direction once you get a proof, even if you don't know what you're after beforehand. Really, it saves us both time. I don't have to do any thinking, and you don't have to sit down and bring your vision to life. Win win! And of course, I've kept all of the previous versions that we've worked on together so that when you decide that in fact, the very very first lay out we looked at is probably the right one (or when your wife sees it, likes it and you concur), then I can whip it up for you quick enough. There's even a special folder on my desktop for you now. Isn't that neat?

[differentipsum]

For when... it's all been rushed together

These words are all spelt correctly, but they could not be. They could just be a mangled crumble of bits of the alphabet all dribbling into each other for all the care that's been taken on this. This text is a mirror image of the craft and care that has gone into the space it's sitting in. A brethren to the image choice and lack of kerning that is all quite happy to be just about good enough, and is probably being optimistic about that. At some point in this text - if it hasn't already - you can expect to see something totally random. It might be a spelling error, it might be a stray copy and paste. It could even be a sign from God. But it won't be. It will be a product of throwing down something that should have had a good day spent on it in two hours without much of an idea of what's trying to be achieved. If the layout could read its own text, it would feel sad for itself. Paper can't self harm, but this is about the closest you'll get. John sat idly by while the Jesuit minister talked his mother out of her more questionable funeral arrangements. Imagine if all the dull, blighted, so-what elements on this page where to club together to take over the world. It would be like living in a world designed by committee. A crap committee, one who would eschew chocolate biscuits from their meetings and have their minutes taken in Esperanto despite not one of them being able to understand it.

[differentipsum]

For when... the project is awesome

Wow. No really, wow. This piece of work is so awesome that it deserves to be filled with text so sparkling and shimmering and wonderful that it makes the layout want to feel up every word, then buy each of them dinner. More than that, this work is so fantastically sublime that each letter in every word in every sentence has been hand selected from a special selection of organic, free-range letters. It's credit to the brilliance of the whole set-up that the letters have been able to form themselves into a coherent block of copy. Bravo letters, bravo. And as if that wasn't enough, if you look incredibly closely at the full stops, you'll notice that they are made up entirely of joy. But it doesn't stop there. Hiding behind every full stop, faded into the backdrop of the awe inspiring layout universe are hundreds of unicorns who are just glad to be invited to the party. Most of them are just happy to trot around smiling, but a few, a committed, observant few, are nodding sagely, completely blown away by the brilliance of everything that they have in front of them. And that's just the full stops. You don't even want to know what's happening round the back of those commas, it would blow your mind.

[differentipsum]

For when... you're passively aggressive

So, this is the text. It's on the page, obviously, and it's performing its function perfectly well thank you very much. It might not be Shakespeare, or Conrad or Nabokov (you've heard of those guys right?) but it does the job it's supposed to do. Some of you reading this will overlook the 'function' and focus on the content complaining wildly that without the exact copy that will appear in the final version, you can't pass judgement, but in doing so, do. You can see that right? Anyway, how your imagination is so entirely incapable of assessing the layout of this magazine/brochure/website without everything being spoon fed to you is beyond me. How did you even get this job anyway? I mean seriously, you're being trusted to take decisions about the quality of a product and you can't even suspend disbelief for one second to look at a lay out devoid of content so we can keep this project moving on time. I guess you'll force some poor chump to throw together the 'final copy' for review in this layout pretty soon and, despite the print deadline being weeks away, you'll insist it's ready for 9am on Monday morning. Then, over several tedious email chains, conference calls and even one awkward breakfast, you'll hack away at the words and the punctuation until all that remains of the original content is one solitary 'the'. You make me sick.