todays bird
Jules of Nature
One Nice Bug Per Day
$LAYYYTER
Cosimo Galluzzi
cherry valley forever
Sweet Seals For You, Always
KIROKAZE
occasionally subtle
Show & Tell
Three Goblin Art
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Not today Justin
Game of Thrones Daily
trying on a metaphor
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AnasAbdin
izzy's playlists!
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@dijonnoginger
text 💬 grijon
Greta: You have 14 days to rock my world if you want me to be all yours, Colonel Mustard. Tick, tock.
Dijon: It's taken me way less time than that to make you a shaking mess, babe 😉 challenge accepted. I'm picking you up tonight to get started on the list, so you might want to stretch.
text 💬 dispen
Aspen: HAS THE FACT THAT WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS SINCE BEFORE I WAS EVEN OUT OF THE WOMB MEAN NOTHING TO YOU???
Aspen: I'm trying to save you from TOP SECRET FREDERICKSON TWIN SHENANIGANS that were intended for a different target!
Dijon: IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME BUT STILL!
Dijon: FINE, FINE, I'll do this, no questions asked! Or, okay, ONE question asked... who was it meant for?
text 💬 bojon
Bowie: BECAUSE THEY WANT YOU TO HAVE A SUBSTANTIAL SNACK. If the gummy bear was too skinny it wouldn't be filling!!
Bowie: I don't know, porno plots are funny sometimes! The ones that don't have some crazy silly scenario going on I can never finish, they're too weird.
Dijon: I GET THAT BUT THEIR ASSES IN PARTICULAR LOOKED EXTRA JUICY! THEY COULD'VE DISTRIBUTED THE SNACK!
Dijon: Hold up, are you saying you watch porn for the plot? You cannot be serious right now.
if you could only pick one of your friends to talk to for the rest of your life, who would it be? (not including your fuck buddies)
First off, don’t be disrespecting my fuck buddies like that! Some of them are some of the best friends I’ve ever had, and they shouldn’t be exempt from that tier just because of the killer orgasms we share. Second, if you think I’m allowed to do something like pick just one person out of my San Fransokyo friends, you’re mistaken, so I won’t.
honesty hour!
Have you built your own girlfriend yet?
Nah, I gave up on that dream when I was like in high school, and even if I didn’t, I’m not sure I’d make the best boyfriend right now, and any invention of mine deserves the best. Besides, now I know the girl I’d want to be my girlfriend, you know, in theory, and there’s no way I could get any machine even close to being as bad-ass as @gretagesundheit is.
honesty hour!
what would your superhero name be?
Techno-Bro? Mustard Man? I don’t know! What’s a good superhero name that implies that I both work with machinery and am unbearable sexy?
honesty hour!
if the little hero group didn't have a sex/relationship ban, who do you think would make the best couple in there?
I’m pretty sure they both know this, but I back @heath-lemon and @aspenfrederickson all the way! Those two crazy kids would be adorable together, plus it’d get Heath off my woman. Win-win.
honesty hour!
Where do you fall on the kinsey scale?
I didn’t actually know the answer to this one because I know I’m straight, but I went and took the quiz for y’all and apparently I got a 1, which means I’m “heterosexual with incidental homosexual tendencies”, which feels wrong if you ask me. ONE sex dream about @heath-lemon in a three-way situation shouldn’t set me back like that!
honesty hour!
text 💬 jorjon
Jordan: So a little birdy tells me you and your cult are going on some camping trip?
Jordan: Please, PLEASE keep me posted on if something scandalous happens out in those woods.
Dijon: Damn Jordan, what the hell do you think is going to "scandalous" thing do you think is going to happen? An orgy?! 😂 I guess I can let you know if Bowie accidentally sets a bag of Cheetos on fire or something but that doesn't really scream your speed.
text 💬 hijon
Heath: I mean, it was just song lyrics but I have no problem adding that to the daily routine. Would you prefer the reminder in the morning or before bed?
Dijon: Uh uh, I want it when it's organic and when you actually FEEL it, not when you schedule it!
text 💬 zijon
Zoe: hmmm I feel like it'd be something like your journey is in the place you'd least expect it? I guess that's more like a proverb or something, right?
Zoe: yeah i've been a little scatterbrained lately. nbd it always happens. i found my phone in aspen's bed. like why would i put it there? i feel like i'm going full heath on the sleep.
Dijon: Yeah, a little bit, or it sounds a lot like a clue in a treasure hunt or something!
Dijon: Girl, you need to get some more rest, damn. It sounds like you're stretching yourself a little thin and you know as well as I do that when there's too much on your plate, efficiency goes downhill.
text 💬 hijon
Heath: Have I ever told you you’re my hero and everything I would like to be? I can fly higher than an eagle for you are the wind beneath my wings 😘
Dijon: You haven't, but you should. In fact, you should be telling me that every day 😘 but why are you telling me that now?
TEXT 💅 AUSTON
Austin: SEE! That is nice normal information for a best friend to know! Thank you!!
Austin: SAME SHIT DIFFERENT WORDS!
Dijon: Yeah, you're welcome, pretty lady. In fact, in the spirit of giving you the much wanted sexy info about your friends, I feel like I should let you know I'm not as big of a sub as I thought I was. Like, I AM, but I'm more than capable of being on the other end of that too. Fun fact!
Dijon: NOPE, it's actually a really important distinction!
TEXT 💅 AUSTON
Austin: I’M NOT ASKING FOR YOU GUYS TO TALK DIRTY TO ME! I JUST WANT THE FUN LITTLE DETAILS OF LIKE KINKS AND WHO’S GETTING PEGGED!
Austin: It’s extremely complicated because i’m being excluded from being a ten because I’m not knocking boots with you! I’m not the weird one here!
Dijon: For what it's worth, I'd be down to get pegged. I think that'd be really interesting, even if it's not the first thing I'd suggest.
Dijon: It's not because we're not having sex, it's because I'll literally never be able to see you at your hottest to gauge it accurately! Chill@
TEXT 💅 AUSTON
Austin: HOW IS THAT WEIRD! IT'S CALLED CURIOSITY!
Austin: SECOND TO ALL THE GIRLS YOU'VE SLEPT WITH! SOUNDS LIKE CASTING COUCH SEXISM I THINK! CALL OUT POST UPCOMING!
Dijon: ITS WEIRD BECAUSE BEDROOM TALK IS USUALLY KEPT BETWEEN LOVERS, BABY.
Dijon: Not second to ALL the girls I've slept with! The only people that CAN achieve tens are the people I've seen at their hottest, but not all girls I've slept with are automatic tens! It's not that complicated to grasp! You're still tied for second overall, weirdo.
TEXT 💅 AUSTON
Austin: ALL I DO IS ASK QUESTIONS!? I'M NOT TRYNA SMASH!
Austin: I CANNOT! I'M IN THE LOWEST PERCENTILE FOR HOW HOT I AM!
Dijon: I KNOW, THAT'S WHAT'S WEIRD!
Dijon: YOU AND YOUR TWIN ARE THE HOTTEST NON-TEN GIRLS IN THE WORLD! THAT'S HIGH! YOU'RE TIED FOR SECOND!