Certified Fresh

She/Her Are you fucking shitting all over both of my nuts?

[maybemoonbeams]

I’ll be honest kitten, business is booming at the pissing daddy off factory 🚬

[memewhore]

[skodasforge]

*Valley Girl voice*: I must, like, not fear. Fear is literally the mind-killer. Like it’s basically the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will totally face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me, and? When it’s gone? I’m gonna like turn the inner eye to see its path! Where the fear has gone there will be literally nothing. Only I will remain.

[djeeba]

Read this in Brennan Lee Mulligan’s voice

[vengeancemoths]

on a scale of bogariel frogariel to wisconsin p toad, how well received by the party was your amphibian familiar?

[bogleech]

I haven’t done anything for 4 hours but watch whatever cartoon loads up next so anyways there’s a whole episode of american dad bout klaus the fish dating an ancient malevolent wraith

[bogleech]

alright so he was super in love with her but he found out she’s just bound to whoever holds this cursed artifact he bought and therefore she never had any agency in their relationship, which he didn’t know because all she could do is shriek and he was inferring whatever he wanted to hear. He shatters the item to set her free and she tries to kill everyone but now that he can talk to her for real he finds out what she’s really into is baseball trivia so they go on a baseball road trip as platonic friends and that’s how the episode ends

[redbuddi]

[gaytanic-panic]

[oakdll]

way ahead of you buddy

[sleepy-bebby]

[grimoiremanifest]

people peg me as a wizard which is most unfortunate. i respect the arcane arts but I am far too martial a person to be a weedy little rat who shrieks LIGHTNINGBOLT and cries when they're out of spell juice. i'm a battlemage. i do not need to snipe my enemies from afar with lame-o spells. i can bring the pain to them directly myself

[grimoiremanifest]

[gripping the table a little tighter] i would like to remind our chittering warlock friends that they are well within melee range.

[misscryptidart]

There's a tone of tenderness and romance in the way he says it, but also a keen note of desperation to never be alone with 3 fuckass robots who all have very simular but also somehow completly different bits again.

[misscryptidart]

I have never read anything that summerised the circumstances more perfectly. This is great. This is wonderful.

[herpsandbirds]

[tattooedlane]

If Van and Bert have no supporters, I am deceased.

[scribblesandscrawls]

Just some text posts I found for the crew of the Zephyr <3

[kaashina]

maomao when every important figure in the empire keeps asking for her help

[c0ckonfettii]

listen-

[linwelinloves]

The utterly insane cackle I just cackled

[allmightydepression]

Not having gintama as the blueprint of this trope is insane

[milanesa42]

Rickrolling you via pigeon next summer

[ruinedchildhood]