how to write a character who suffers a PTSD from their past toxic relationship, how they can react / what they might say in certain situations
trigger warnings for abuse, domestic violence, ed
how they can react in certain situations
✘ avoid making eye contact, but will look up to meet caretaker’s eyes immediately if caretaker tells them to — for instance, caretaker is concerned about whumpee who keeps their gaze on the floor all the time; so, without thinking, caretaker says, “ look at me”. it doesn’t matter if they say it in a soft, comforting tone, they immediately regret it because whumpee quickly jerks their head up to meet caretaker’s eyes, fully thinking caretaker will hurt them if they don’t obey.
✘ whumpee is used to receiving orders. they don’t understand the concept of saying no and not being punished for it. so anything caretaker asks them to do (keyword; ask, whumpee can absolutely say no), whumpee will comply whether or not they want to (but they will do their best to make sure it looks like they want to).
✘ avoid staying in a crowded room or even an open space. whumpee will most likely seek comfort from some quiet corner where they’re away from anybody and nobody can bother them.
✘ an open space where there’s no one around can also bother whumpee, because it’s not just about being surrounded by a lot of people that’s triggering to whumpee. being alone in an open space can make whumpee feel extremely exposed, like an easy target.
✘ so mostly, whumpee will seek some quiet corner where they are alone and aren’t easily seen.
✘ they don’t like being the center of attention or being talked about. because this can also make them feel vulnerable, uncomfortable and exposed.
✘ physical touch that comes with no heads up, the ones that catch whumpee off guard, can result in a terrible reaction from whumpee, even if it’s an act of affection (a hug, a friendly pat on the shoulder, etc), because whumpee has already associated all kind of physical contact with pain and violence. so if someone touches them, they reflexively expect it to hurt.
✘ being jumpy in general. they may flinch away at any loud noise, any physical touch.
✘ lack of opinions in general. if they have to engage in a conversation where more than two people are talking about something, whumpee will remain quiet. not because they’re shy but because they 1.) think their opinions don’t matter 2.) are afraid they might say something wrong that’ll get them punished 3.) don’t want to risk speaking out of turn.
✘ whumpee expect themself to be punished if they make a mistake, doesn’t matter how small the mistake is — for instance, whumpee accident knocks over a glass of water, causing it to shatter, and immediately starts to panic, because they believe they will get punished for it.
✘ the rules whumper previously set for whumpee may still be effective for whumpee, even if they’re with caretaker now; whumpee still follows whimper’s rules because 1.) it’s an old habit 2.) they just want to stay safe.
✘ they can react poorly to food. whumpee may have no appetite at all, and can develop a wave of anxiety that can lead to nausea if they’re forced to eat. (this doesn’t mean caretaker is supposed to just let them starve though, only that it can be challenging and caretaker has to be very careful about how they approach this, how they handle the situation to help whumpee.)
✘ insomnia. whumpee having trouble sleeping at night, this can cause them to feel tired during daytime.
things they can say in certain situations
✘ “it’s okay.”
✘ “I’m used to it.”
✘ “I can be good. I’ll be good.”
✘ “I don’t deserve this.” (on being shown kindness)
✘ “it’s what I deserve.” (on being hurt)
✘ “why are you kind to me?”
✘ “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” (on making a mistake)
✘ “please, don’t be mad at me.”
✘ “I’ll do better next time.”
✘ “you’re not angry?”
✘ “it’s up to you”
✘ “either is fine with me.” (on being asked to pick something or to give an opinion)
✘ “it’s my fault.”
