Disability Confessions

This is a a place for disabled people to post confessions, whether it be venting about their disabilities, venting about abeliest people, or more this is a place were you can talk about disabilites.

[disability-confessions]

About

FAQ

Rules/Policy

If something is considered a major trigger (abuse, ableism, transphobia, homophobia, etc) then PLEASE add a trigger warning.

You can use the ask/confession box to send both confessions and questions.

Please mark (clearly) if your confession or question is in multiple asks

The submission box is generally best for submissions, questions, or confessions that are in a longer format.

Do NOT ask for a diagnosis, nobody (the one person running this blog) is professionals and anyone commenting or reblogging is most likely not a professional

Please be remindful and respectful of all disabilities

(Extra information will be added if needed)

[disability-confessions]

TW: ableism

I broke up with my friend and now she tries to convince me that Im just egocentric about my disability and my blindness is the same stuff as difficult job or college

I was sighted a year and a half ago but then my right eye went completely blind and my left one barely sees anything

Damn I need friends who understand me, I feel so lonely :(

I am sorry you have to deal with this, you are absolutely not being ego-centric about your disability. It is a disability, it is not a difficult job or college, it is something you have to deal with const for the rest of your life, not something you have to deal with for a few hours a day before you can go home and relax, it is constant. Your ex friend is just being a shit person and I’m sorry about that. Some people just don’t understand disabilities and refuse to try to understand.

-Mod K

[disability-confessions]

mild cw for ableism,

i just recently bought my first wheelchair. i was so excited about it since i have a series of genetic conditions that just make moving around risky and painful, though im capable of walking a bit, i've been excited for this because i knew it's gonna make my life so much easier.

i'm broke as fuck, though, and don't have the means to get a custom fitted chair, so i bought a pretty good standard chair. I went out to the shops in it today and well. i feel a bit defeated. it was a struggle, my town is small, the pavements are narrow and tilted and up or down hills, a small trek to the store left me exhausted since this is my first time being Active in a chair. everyone in my family is going "see?? i told you so" at me over this, and now i just feel worse about using my chair, despite it being useful and making me so happy initially. i feel like ive made a mistake, and now everyone's punishing me, and maybe if id just held off, saved up and bought a better chair and just toughed it out and kept walkign with crutches things would be fine. it just makes me feel like a worse disabled person compared to most of the wheelchair user community who all have their custom built active chairs, you never see people in standard chairs, it makes me feel like i'm doing something wrong or like i'm disabled wrong.

i guess i just wanted to get this off my chest. sorry for yapping.

It’s fine to yap anon! I’m sorry you feel that way, I can assure you, you do not need a custom built active chair, there’s tons of wheelchair users who don’t have one and that is 100% okay. You are not doing anything wrong and there’s absolutely no way that you are being “disabled wrong”. I know many places are unfortunately not built for wheelchair users or disabled people in general. It’s unfortunate and sad but it’s due to disabilities not being as recognized and stuff until more recently. It sucks but there’s not too much we can do about it unfortunately. You might be able to petition your town to make the sidewalks a bit wider so they can be more wheelchair accessible but that’s all I can think of. Ignore your family, if you need something, you need something, you can always try saving money for a custom built active chair in the future, a non custom built wheelchair should be fine for now. Your family can leave you alone about it, you are doing the best you can for yourself right now and sometimes you just have to get something that may be considered ‘less helpful’ than other things in others eyes. Non custom built wheelchairs are just as helpful as custom built ones, they serve a purpose and do it decently. I wouldn’t worry about what your family says.

-Mod K

[disability-confessions]

tw ableism abuse

I suffer from a self diagnosed invisible disability. People treat me like I'm subhuman for making mistakes, my parents constantly down play my struggles and abuses me verbally when I can't do something. They say I'm making up excuses.

idk what to do, so I started pretending I can't walk (I can but it's painful), I'm overreacting to my pain so they take me seriously. They finally did and I was in a hospital and they can't find anything wrong with me, now they're catching on that I'm overplaying my pain. I'll never be diagnosed at this point I should just give up...

You shouldn’t give up on getting diagnosed anon. I’m sorry your parents are acting that way towards you. People should not be treating you sub-human, they are just being stuck up assholes. I hope you are able to get a diagnosis soon if you haven’t already. -Mod K

[disability-confessions]

I want a cane so badly. Walking hurts so much all the time and I know it would be easier if I could just take the pressure off of my bad knee but I just. Can’t stomach the judgement that I know would come with it. And the questions that’d get asked, because there’s never a way to answer that type of question that won’t either get you unsolicited advice *or* “okay but do you *really* need a mobility aid just for *that*?”.

I brought the idea up to my mom once. She laughed because she thought I was joking. I haven’t brought it up again.

I’m sorry you had to deal with that anon. I can assure you, you are not overreacting or anything like that. You know you’re body best, you know what you need. Your mom shouldn’t have laughed and I hope you are able to get a cane soon! -Mod K

[disability-confessions]

I am fucking exhausted. I am in pain, my whole body aches and I just want to sleep but I have so much shit to do. I need to work on schoolwork, I need to find resources to move out, I need to find some way to make money, and more. But I feel so gods damn exhausted still. I hate having sleep disorders, I hate being chronically ill. I hate having chronic pain, it makes it hard to write things, it makes me constantly need to crack my neck and back and even that only provides a brief small relief. Other parts of my body. I’m literally falling asleep while doing this

.

[sleepysleepysleepybaby]

chronic illness really makes the weirdest ‘would you rather’ scenarios come to life.

like, would you rather: show up to christmas with no presents for anyone or show up having not showered for a week?

would you rather: feed yourself or do the dishes?

you can choose both but your penalty is to spend an unknown amount of time bedbound afterwards.

[chronicillnesshumor-deactivated]

Source: iluvmyheatingpad on Insta

[disability-confessions]

It's been awhile...

Hi! So I know it's been awhile and I haven't been posting confessions for like a year and I apologize for that. At the time I started handling this blog I was nearing the end of my senior year in high school. I then got caught up on and, focused on some pretty toxic people. I am only now coming to this account after I have started college (literally last week lol), discovered I have C-DID, possibly have FND and / or MS, and left some multi year friendships. I'm in a much better place and I will be starting this blog up again. I'm sorry for being gone for so long, I will try to keep up with the blog as best I can.

-Mod K

[tortagnamgnam]

This is the lucky clover cat. reblog this in 30 seconds & he will bring u good luck and fortune.

[disability-confessions]

(TW: Ableism towards invisible disability)

I'm a young adult with cerebral palsy who has difficulty walking. It's really gotten bad for me as of late. Stairs have become my worst enemy and by the end of every day, my whole body is always in immense pain.

I've asked my parents if I can buy myself a cane since I strongly believe that I need one, however, they don't want me to because they fear I'll become 'too reliant' on it.

As someone whose disability is invisible, I experience this kind of thing every day. It shouldn't matter if I look like I'm okay on the outside; I'm still in pain and I should be entitled to a mobility aid if I feel that I need one.

.

[disability-confessions]

// racism, abuse, ableism

I honestly feel very torn between my race and disability/ies as an Asian unDXed person. I’m told to just tough it out by my parents, Disabled white people (unintentionally) frame my struggles with these intersecting as a result of my culture being inherently more ableist because “haha Asians are workaholics” (look up the Protestant work ethic I beg y’all), and I feel alienated from abled POC because I rely on unethical services and products to fucking live and I was forcefully assimilated by my parents and teachers. There should really be a disability equivalent to the term pinkwashing with addressing these issues.

I’m sorry, I can’t say much on the POC end of things because I am white. But I know how it feels to be told to just “suck it up”, it’s awful and frustrating, it’s like talking to a brick wall when it comes to explaining what you are having to deal with and the help you need. There’s no reason for white disabled people to frame your struggles with them intersecting, they are just being stupid and there is no excuse for that. I don’t know what else to really say, seeing as I can’t comment on the POC stuff but you shouldn’t feel alienated from a group that you are apart of.

-Admin T

[disability-confessions]

tw ableism

Sometimes I just... don't feel like a part of the disabled community.

I know I have some kind of physical disability, most likely fibromyalgia. But it's just really hard to get a diagnosis, being a minor AND having not-so-great parents who tell me that all this pain is normal. It's not. I know it's not.

But other people can't feel my pain.

Although I probably should use a mobility aid, I don't have one, due to a general not being able to get it (see above). Because it is generally assumed that people with disabilities have mobility aids with them at all times, no one knows I am disabled. It is hard to tell people I am disabled too, because I have no doctor's stuff or anything! I know I am though, I know it.

Someone has to believe me.

No one does. At least not where I live.

They think I'm stupid. They see me enter the room, and they still say nasty shit about me. Usually about my unathleticism; although I do exercise, I am fat and disabled, so exercise is hard.

No one I know IRL is part of the disabled community. The only people who I know would believe me are on Tumblr.

I'm scared and angry.

I just want someone to accept me.

Hello anon,

Apologies for taking so long to respond but I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. I wish I could provide some sort of help but all I can provide is comforting words. You shouldn’t have to go through this denial of basic healthcare. I also struggle with getting a diagnosis and being told by my parents that it’s “normal”, I can assure you it’s not “normal”. You should not be consistently in pain in any part of your body. The only “excuse” is that sometimes for AFAB people it is normal for them to have period pains but that’s all, and in some causes that’s not even normal.

I am sorry you don’t feel apart of the disabled community, I can assure you that you absolutely are, no matter what your disability is. Even if it’s as simple as a speech disorder then you are apart of the disabled community. If anyone says otherwise then they are outright wrong. Even if you don’t have mobility aids it doesn’t make you disabled either, I personally don’t have mobility aids (I usually don’t need to use them thankfully), but I am still disabled. There are plenty of disabled people who don’t have mobility aids and no matter what if you don’t have mobility aids it doesn’t make you less valid. I hope you are able to get some help soon, whether it be just some mobility aids and not a diagnosis, anything helps.

I am sorry you are being told you are “stupid”, you aren’t, I am sorry you are being told nasty things, you shouldn’t be. I am sorry you are scared, I wish I could do more to help. Just know that I do accept you, even if I’m just one random stranger on the internet I do accept you and I believe you.

-Admin T

[disability-confessions]

We went to the mall and our feet began to hurt really quickly. Like really badly. We are pretty sure we have chronic pain and it’s just like!!! dude!!! why??? we didn’t even walk that much, our friends feet weren’t hurting, we literally had to sit down several times because we physically couldn’t stand. its so frustrating

.

[cripinpain]

-> heart confession game <-

i’m about to go to bed so feel free to send in some hearts in my askbox!

(they’re more fun on anon but you do you!)

❤️ = i have a crush on you

🧡 = i want to be friends with you

💛 = i consider you a close friend

💚 = your blog is nice, i don't know much about you though

💙= i want to be mutuals

💜 = you are intimidating

🤍 = your content worries me

🩶 = i don't know why i follow you

🖤 = i don't like you very much

feel free to rb <3

[cripinpain]

i might be moving to another town soon to get closer to my best friend & get an accessible apartment building but i’m kinda scared bc i don’t know what services they have for disabled people or if they have the same things i currently have in my town. i’m scared that the medical professionals there won’t be good, because i don’t know them like i do at my new health care centre place. it’s scary being physically disabled.

[headpainmigraine]

Sometimes I really wish that it was cripplecore or cripple-other-suffix because SO MANY PEOPLE are getting confused by the "punk" part in cripplepunk

It's not an aesthetic.

Battlejackets and mohawks and spiked collars with the cuffs, it doesn't mean anything. It's just windowdressing.

You're a cripple and you're a punk. And that's cool. But you can wear business suits 24/7, or only white knee length flowy dresses, or dungarees and nothing else, and still be cripplepunk. As much as anyone else in a battlejacket and studs.

The thing that makes you cripplepunk is your crippled body, regardless of what you dress in.

It doesn't matter if you're into strictly runway fashion only, or you're in a pair of jeans you haven't taken off in 6 months, a step is still going to stop you getting into a place if you're in a wheelchair.

Websites still won't accomodate your sight loss, even if you and your service dog have matching dyed hair.

Medical professionals aren't going to believe you about the amount of pain you're in regardless of what you wear (yeah, that 'dressed like a professional at the doctor's office' thing wears off fast if you keep going back there)

Cripplepunk didn't need to be carved out of the disabled community because it looked and sounded cool.

We were being talked over, online and in our real lives, expected to be quiet and pleasant.

We needed a space, so Ty DIY'd one for themselves, and for all of us.

Worried about not looking punk enough for cripplepunk?

Can't make that intricate battlejacket because you haven't got the energy or dexterity or steady hands or means?

Can't afford a pack of studs and a tool off eBay to stud your own clothes?

Can't make your own but can't afford store-bought?

Doesn't matter.

Live unashamed of your disability, live in plain sight with your disability, be angry and loud and rude and disabled because we don't need to be palatable to the physically abled.

Cripplepunk is not about being seen as punk, it's about being seen as a cripple.