He Yu / Milo @disabled-cheetah - Tumblr Blog

🪭0962-4C-15’s Journal🪼

Hello! You can call me He Yu, Hawks/Keigo Takami, Shi Qingxuan, or Milo! (I also have other names so if you see me use a different name that’s why.)

He/him pronouns! Masc terms! Cheetah, human, dragon, sea slug vivterms!

We are a median. We go back and forth using i/me and we/us pronouns. (Just ask if it ever gets confusing!)

We are literally He Yu, Hawks && Shi Qingxuan. We call ourselves a Cryptid- a werecheetah, infected with Sea slugs. We are also Sasquatch hearted.

We have other types here (/link-WIP)

Played animal hospital and the slime showed up. I decided I wasn’t gonna clean it, even said “what if I don’t just clean it.” I went about my game. Then I walk by and it’s gone??? I questioned everything. I have a bad memory, so I was like must’ve been a system thing-but who cleaned it 😭. Turned out it was a glitch!!! So fucking mean, good thing I was recording or this would haunt me 😭😭

There’s a moment of the past—grade 7 I think? Maybe 6?—I think back to it a lot. I have a phobia of dogs, it has severely impacted my life, and I had pet my friends dog. My friend was very happy about this. I mean I’m sure they wanted me to love their dog like they did. (I mean I didn’t not like the dog, I was just scared of her. Rip, hope doggy paradise is treating you well.) They took pictures of me petting the dog and sent it in the group chat. They were happy and I felt they were proud of me, that’s the biggest motivator for me getting over this fear-others being proud of me. Anyway it was the next day and it was just me and a different friend at school. That friend was in the group chat and had seen the pics, she then told me “no offence, but I don’t care.” Like, oh yeah, great, no offence taken, not like I was hoping you to be proud that I was facing my fears, and not like our other friend was happy about it or anything. (/sar).

I also recently figured out I wasn’t afraid of ferrets (I’m afraid of all animals but cats-and apparently ferrets) this same friend, that had said that, never even replied. It really doesn’t feel like she cares about my progress with my anxiety disorder. (She also made fun of me when I was spiralling thinking a dog was gonna come after me!)

I got other people who are proud and I try my hardest to just think of them whenever I start thinking of this friend. But sometimes it’s hard. I’m grateful for those I do have 🫶. Though this friend is not a friend I will ever trust. I trust dogs more then her :/ but what’s 1 person not caring compared to the like 20 others that do care. Only reason it’s noticeable is because it’s different and hurts. If I stop letting it hurt me and start ignoring it, then I’ll be fine.

#tw ableism #cw vent #vent #tw vent #anxiety disorder

andr3w-th3-w0lf

What’s something you like? I’d love to hear you just yap about something you love. Maybe it could help you feel a little better if you think of something you like?

I can start with something I like first! I love plushies and started an insta for them yesterday. I have a teddy bear that I got the day I was born, who is my favourite (don’t tell the others 🤫)

Now you talk about anything you like! :3

Sorry for not getting to this right away,,, I wanted to think about it for a bit since I wasn't really sure. But I think I'd have to say one of my favorite things in life is artwork and crafting.

It's so broad, I know, but it's been the biggest and most stable comfort for me throughout my whole life. If I'm having a bad day, I'll draw or make something. If I need a distraction, I'll create. It's calming, and you can listen to music or watch movies while doing it a lot of the time.

And I totally get loving plushies! I have a hugeeee Amazon wishlist of stuffed animals I want :3 (I don't plan on buying them off of Amazon, it's just easy to create lists on there). I specifically adore stuffed cats! I have a shelf in my closet that's full of cats. I'd say it's about 90% cats- with a couple foxes and other creatures.

Thanks for letting me yap a bit :] /gen

disabled-cheetah

Wow those plushies are so cool 🤩! arts and crafts is so fun :3 I understand how you can love it!

And you’re welcome, I love hearing people talk about things they like! :D /gen

I made a public insta account for my plushies but I’m too scared to post 😭😭 I’ve just saved them all as drafts… one day I’ll get the courage. Maybe when I get my new plushies the dopamine will make me impulsive and I’ll post them 😝 I’m just worried about doxing myself but I’ve looked over everything and there’s nothing that would give myself away but anxiety disorder be disordering 😞

positivitygenic

your phobia is a serious issue that is inherently worthy of both being treated seriously and also treating you with compassion. a phobia is a genuine disability, regardless of what said phobia is about. and i really do hope that one day you shall have access to appropriate care in which you are able to live the kind of joyful life you deserve, unhindered by your phobia.

disabled-cheetah

Slowly being more open on my insta… debating putting “partial posic+” in my bio. I put median in there so I feel like I also wanna add the posic+. But I think back to how my friend said “I’ll let you believe in your delusions” when I was playing with my care bear. like how could I now ever admit I fully believe my plushies have feelings, identities, and (for some of them) have thoughts. But my insta account I post about me, my plushies, and my cats. So it feels fitting to add the partial posic+ to the description.

disabled-cheetah

I think the next time I post something I’ll add it. My friends probs won’t even notice i changed my description. Idk how much they look at it at least.

Slowly being more open on my insta… debating putting “partial posic+” in my bio. I put median in there so I feel like I also wanna add the posic+. But I think back to how my friend said “I’ll let you believe in your delusions” when I was playing with my care bear. like how could I now ever admit I fully believe my plushies have feelings, identities, and (for some of them) have thoughts. But my insta account I post about me, my plushies, and my cats. So it feels fitting to add the partial posic+ to the description.

#nothing even wrong with being delusional #plus I have actual delusions-or used to #tw ableism #cw ableism

I’m actually a bunch of non-human animals and fictional characters put together, that have to work together to try and pass as a regular normal human, even though we are part cheetah.

I ordered plushies and they’ve been sent out now!!! I can’t get the tracking to work but I assume it’s because they were just sent and I’ll try again tomorrow 😞 but I’m so happy :D I can’t wait for them to come!!!

disabled-cheetah

Something has gone wrong with my phone??? I clicked on my Google docs and it took me to Google maps and since I use like a shortcut thing I thought maybe I did it wrong but not I didn’t and then I went looking for my Google docs and it didn’t exist??? Where did it go??? Did I really delete it 😭 but why does my shortcut take me to Google maps now???

disabled-cheetah

Fuck my life why do I need to update my phone for this. MY PHONE ISNT THE RIGHT UPDATE FOR GOOGLE DOCS 😭😭

Something has gone wrong with my phone??? I clicked on my Google docs and it took me to Google maps and since I use like a shortcut thing I thought maybe I did it wrong but not I didn’t and then I went looking for my Google docs and it didn’t exist??? Where did it go??? Did I really delete it 😭 but why does my shortcut take me to Google maps now???

Want to organize my Pinterest boards better

Want to organize my journaling app

Want to make cards for my different identities

Want to read

No motivation to actually do any of it. Hate this 😞 how does one motivate themselves when they don’t have the energy.

the-d0llh0us3-system

Things that I firmly believe are ableist

1: "npd abuse" "BPD abuse" "cluster b abuse"

2: using "do you lack empathy" as an insult

3: "oh you have BPD? My friend has NPD so I think you'll get along!!"

4: "you and your partner work so well because you have BPD and they have NPD"

5: people who DON'T have BPD calling it "beautiful princess disorder"

6: "I want a BPD girl to be obsessed with me so bad!!"

7: non cluster b people using the terms "psychopath" and "sociopath" ESPECIALLY on other people who don't have a disorder.

8: using "narcissist" to describe someone who's just self-centered

9: "you have ASPD? You're probably gonna become a serial killer in the future lol" (actual thing I have been told. Multiple times. By several people.)

10: "you have the same disorder as (horrible person) so I don't trust you!!"

thisis--ableism

Boosting this post

Not my dumbass looking through a disability website shops products and seeing they have binders thinking to myself “oh I’ve been needing a binder to put my papers in!” Only to click on it and realize they mean like binders for your chest. 😭 my bad. I should’ve known

Ahhh I’ve just seen a thing hating on misanthropes. Y’ALL ARE JUST ABLEIST!!!! The shit they say about misanthropes is the same shit people say to me about my phobia of dogs. PEOPLE CANT CONTROL THE FACT THEY DISTRUST A SPECIES. GET THAT THROUGH YOUR BRAIN. “Omg you’re traumatized and now can’t trust humans??? Kill yourself!!! Get help you bigot!!” Like what. Sure I think misanthropes need help, but not in the way y’all say. They need help because it negatively impacts their life. Living in distrust of a species you are surrounded by is hard. I know that as someone with a phobia of dogs.

If you shit on misanthropes stay away from me. You are ableist and unsupportive to anyone with a phobia of any species. Anything you say to misanthropes can just be applied to any phobia disorder related to animals.

#tw ableism

I feel sick with grief. I should try again to get back into counselling.

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He Yu / Milo