SO ANYWAY, our neighbor on that side used to be May, a lovely lady who was an absolute sweetheart. But, sadly, she WAS 91, and passed away from a heart attack after a good long full life.
Her son, Tom, decided to remodel the house (he’s a contractor). Part of this involved tearing out all of his mother’s lovingly tended gardens and cutting down all her shrubs and trees. (I snuck over in the middle of the night before the chainsaws and backhoe showed up, and stole rescued a bunch of her plants.)
One of those trees was a native chokecherry growing RIGHT on the property line. It shaded our big back windows, which we liked, and birds loved the fruit. As I was puttering around the yard one day, Tom came over and asked if we wanted it left there. I said yes, for the aforementioned reasons.
He said “OK”, and then cut it down anyway. This slightly annoyed me. I asked him about it, and he said, quote, “Well, it’s pretty messy and drops fruit all over the grass. Oh, and could you trim your hedge down? I can’t see over it.”
(I did not trim the hedge down, for the record. Fuck u, Tom.)
Because I am a creature highly motivated by spite, I knew immediately what I had to do. I went on the Jung’s website, and ordered a peach tree and a cherry tree. As soon as they arrived, I planted them securely on our side of the property line.
He noticed them, and asked about them. I happily told them what they were, as I was putting up a ‘no spray, sensitive crops/apiary’ sign I’d ordered from the county. Because I KNOW if someone’s fussing about fruit in the grass, they’ve probably got a stash of Roundup and pesticide, and I was damn sure gonna nip that in the bud.
He frowned. “Oh, well. Those’ll probably drop fruit, won’t they.”
“You’re welcome to pick some if you like!” I answer cheerfully. “I just love fresh peaches and cherries, don’t you?”
He keeps shooting them dirty looks now. The cherry is big enough this year to give fruit for the first time. It’s delicious.
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