wth

a vent blog bc I hate knowing that people irl follow my big blog

[disappearingcigarette]

i feel like I’ve made a terrible mistake

[itscoldinwonderland]

Deconstruct your amatonormativity!!

Take yourself out on dates. Go to the movie theater alone. Go out to eat alone. Enjoy life alone, it's okay. Enjoy life with friends. Take you're friends out on dates. Have sex with people you don't love. Have sex with people you don't want to marry. Have friends with benefits and hook ups and one night stands and situationships. Never have sex. Never get married. Marry your best friend. Kiss your friends. Date multiple people. When people say you'll never be happy alone kill them with hammers 🔨🔨🔨🔨. Live alone with several pets. Be happy. Be free. Do you.

[disappearingcigarette]

I have to stop

[disappearingcigarette]

ugh and he told me to come BACK after I gave him a wimpy handshake AND he high fives my hand hard as fuck

[disappearingcigarette]

like if I was really crazy, I could point out that two young men were looking at me in the burrito place and he told me to be on my team and did start grabbing my axes for me and I feel like maybe wanted me to thank him more than once and when I was looking at Matthew’s thought I was looking at him and said “hey” in that stupid fucking way men day that

[disappearingcigarette]

ridiculously ***** when not on antidepressants

[orpheuslament]

(no beers in) does anyone wanna keep me as their house pet forever

[disappearingcigarette]

I have to get up. I feel like I’m ruining my life. I have to make something. I have to watch a movie. I have to move my body. I have to get strong. I have to get attractive i need to eat. I want to shower. I should cook. I can’t smoke yet. I feel shitty. I’m messing things up. I want to return to something familiar because I’m uncomfortable? I feel inadequate? I feel lost? I feel listless? I feel stuck. I feel like my world is small. I think i didnt give it a fair chance at first and it left a bad taste in my mouth. I think I’ve given it a chance now and now this decision is more difficult. Ugh. I’m getting up now.

[disappearingcigarette]

we’re not going up to WA this weekend. I’m going to try to swap my schedule around to get two days off in a row sometime next month before the week I have off. I just. want to hang out with them casually. I still need to figure out what I’m doing.

[disappearingcigarette]

been smoking less lately. I’m sick right now but I do plan on maybe either getting silly tomorrow or someday this weekend. might also make brownies. might make gooey butter cake. trying to get rid of Stuff. im tired.

[disappearingcigarette]

too excited over hypothetical stuff

[evergreen-femme]

im just so happy i live in a time period where actual meaningful biological transition is possible. even if we lose rights or the ability to exist in public, nothing can turn back the clock on that, and just by having any sort of access to that our lives are made immensely better. millions of our sisters throughout history would never have dreamed of a day where they could have what HRT does for us.

please don't lose the plot of this. if you're a trans person on HRT you're a living miracle, the dream of hundreds of millions of your ancestors. your lives are all deeply meaningful no matter what anyone says.

[t4t4t]

תפילה להפך – מאבן בֹחן | Prayer for Transformation, from the poem "Even Boḥan" by Rabbi Ḳalonymus b. Ḳalonymus ben Meir (1322) • the Open Si

A prayer by Kalonymus b. Kalonymus ben Meir that appears in his poem ספר אבן בוחן, יג Sefer Even Boḥan (§13), describing the author's wish t

[unabashedllamamusic]

Cursed be the one who announced to my father: “It’s a boy!"... ...How could he twist the course of the stars so much? How could he have erred so in his astrology? A lying tongue, a fool’s mouth it had given him For he foolishly transformed justice to poison He altered the law and transposed the lines

Oh, but had the artisan who made me created me instead – a worthy woman... ...I would say "how lucky am I"

Father in heaven who did miracles for our ancestors with fire and water... ...Who would then transform me from a man to woman? Were I only to have merited this being so graced by goodness...

What shall I say? why cry or be bitter? If my father in heaven has decreed upon me and has maimed me with an immutable deformity then I do not wish to remove it. the sorrow of the impossible is a human pain that nothing will cure and for which no comfort can be found. So, I will bear and suffer until I die and wither in the ground. Since I have learned from our tradition that we bless both, the good and the bitter I will bless in a voice hushed and weak: blessed are you [HaShem] who has not made me a woman.

I think I'm gonna go lay down for a little while.

[positivelyqueer]

You have options. I promise you, you have options. Even if you blow up your whole life, change your name and train hop half way across the country- you still have options. So long as you are alive you have choices and chances. If you can’t see them, ask someone else. Ask a stranger or someone who loves you. Anyone not in your situation will have different a perspective. Stay safe and stay alive.

[maidthings]

no one is worth not transitioning over

[maidthings]

no one is worth not transitioning over

[maidthings]

no one is worth not transitioning over

[armandology]

i love being single except every few months when i want to be loved so bad that it eats me alive and makes me physically ill for two weeks but like the rest of the time im chill