The Disasters

@disastrous-dm

DM fo The Disasters. Chaos ensues.

39 posts

If you wouldn’t fuck a vampire you’re a liar and a bitch

@archaicbluebird

I love you, you’re not a bitch, but you are fucking a vampire

archaicbluebird

There are some semantics that technically make this incorrect

Oh she’s close enough.

Things I learned (Session 38)

- This session was a long time in the making. And it's finally here.

Graveyard time!

Oh shit. The family crypt

Well… I can't turn down a challenge…

Bets on it's a necromancer?

Charcoal! They have a name now!

Ew. Slimes

Oh no. I've been dominated by a hot lady. What a problem.

I'm sorry, Mari.

Thank you, Torkin!

It wasn't a necromancer. It was a shiny new weapon!

I now hate slimes so far. They basically melted my clothes away.

OH MY GODS THIS BLADE IS SO COOL

HI PERNAN

Also, Wynn gets cool new flute.

With… with a djinn inside it. Hoolly fuck.

Oh my gosh, he's awesome

We… We could resurrect Yrilisse…

But, I know how desperate Torkin is for Celica.

It's a hard choice

FUCK THE ELVES. PEREN CHOSE ME. I WENT THROUGH ACID FOR THIS SHIT

*Shakes bars* Let me in. LET ME IIIIIIINNNNN

Peren:

yourplayersaidwhat

“Congratulations, you have a SECOND eldritch being trapped in your consciousness now.”

@neongreennarwhal

This was NOT supposed to happen to me, ok?!

*loud cackling*

Stop putting people in my head, please. Syrion and Thor is quite enough, thank you

I SAID STOP PUTTING PEOPLE IN MY HEAD

*louder cackling*

It's currently raining and I can't stress enough how much I don't like rain. It's the one thing I can't stand. I like staying nice and dry.

So. Um... I still don't like rain. But it seems that now that I follow a literal storm god... I don't really have a choice, do I?

bronzedragonman

Yeah, bad news on that one. Precipitation kinda comes with the territory.

archaicbluebird

Lol, “precursors precipitation.”

Be the only fire that rages stronger in a hurricane.

yourplayersaidwhat

““I’m terribly sorry, I am not able to be contacted due to my schedule. Please leave a message with your Raven after the beep.” “CRAAAAAW””

— - The Raven Queen’s answering message via Sentinel Raven (Yes you boop the beak to dial and record messages)

Wynn, does Tillsby take messages too?

archaicbluebird

Um…I don’t know?

I don’t even think Cori does that

i love seeing cardinals and bluejays together i’m always like “hehe.. evil siblings”

this is what i’m all about babyyyyy

archaicbluebird

Well, close

Neither of you are evil.... Right?

archaicbluebird

Genuinely got so excited about the birds that I missed that singular word

weirdnessisgood

fullmemetalalchemist

why are the pigeons so green

chlorophyll

Wait, these are pigeons?

archaicbluebird

NO.

Are you sure? Have you seen pigeons before?

archaicbluebird

I miss Torkin so much, but especially in these moments

You both hear the distant sound of bones aching.

don’t FUCKING forget your buddy or I SWEAR TO GOD–

We’re never going to be allowed to split up ever again.

Soley so I don’t fry my arm off.

Remember when I said that I’m not allowed to split from the party?

Yeah, so now Torkin isn’t allowed to split from the party.

Wynn is the only one who’s allowed to go anywhere alone. As long as it’s Dandruin because I don’t trust Kelrick. As I shouldn’t.

archaicbluebird

I’m not even the biggest fan of being alone.

Hence why I’m not worried about anything happening to you.

archaicbluebird

Maybe…don’t say something like that? It sounds like a borderline challenge to the world…

*cackling continues*

yourplayersaidwhat

“Congratulations, you have a SECOND eldritch being trapped in your consciousness now.”

@neongreennarwhal

This was NOT supposed to happen to me, ok?!

*loud cackling*

@bronzedragonman

You mind taking this hammer back? As cool as it is, it's not really my style and I kinda can't attune to it anyways

A bold strategy. You are greeted with silence.

can i politely murder you

archaicbluebird

Um…You good there Cirene?

No.

Thanks for asking, though :)

archaicbluebird

Torkiiiiiiiiin

Nononono don’t call him please. I’ll get suffocated in a hug and then put in a zone of truth

archaicbluebird

Well you already had one of those coming to you. But too late! I called!

bronzedragonman

I was called?

Nope. Nothing’s wrong. Goodbye!

bronzedragonman

I disagree.

I’m fiiiiiiiineeeeeee

bronzedragonman

Hmmm, hmmm, what’s that I say about liars?

I dunno, ask Wynn

Would you like to make a charisma saving throw?

Things I have learned (session 18):

-fuck that dead dragon

The desert does not have the same climate as a volcanic wasteland!

- "whoops, all seabears"

-sea bears are just tardigrades, by the way

- and I don't know what either of those are!

- How do Dnd again?

- The terminator; Sea Bear edition

- Torkin did the thing! It's been a while.

- oh, so Wynn can touch orbs, but I can't?

- the Hunt begins!

-fucking. Magic. Snakes

- he swang. He swangs mightily.

-very large bird!

-HOLY SHIT I WAS RIGHT

-sesame street is canon

- Denys= Grover

-fuck you metal monster. I was negotiating.

-Barbarians; we get the job done.

-Thank Thor it wasn't who I thought it was

- Denys making the DM's brain hurt

- Why. Is. This (Denys searching). A. Thing.

- Run with him, Wynn. Run with him.

- let's not make this r-rated please. Please no hentai

- a drow?!

- aaaand nevermind. Torkin killed him.

archaicbluebird

I was careful about the orb.

I was careful about it toooo

I’m not so sure about that.

After a tense past few days, it'll be nice to enjoy this festival. And to celebrate the life of a good friend. May she watch over us as we get revenge for her in the nearby future.

Tomorrow, I raise my drink to her and celebrate.

Move too quickly and you will be meeting her sooner than you expect.

I know... I may not like to wait... But I will wait. Solely to keep my companions and family safe.

Learning. Good.

After a tense past few days, it'll be nice to enjoy this festival. And to celebrate the life of a good friend. May she watch over us as we get revenge for her in the nearby future.

Tomorrow, I raise my drink to her and celebrate.

Move too quickly and you will be meeting her sooner than you expect.

Things I have learned this session (session 15):

- one, Two, three, four, Gurgen, five.

- girl scouts are now canon

-fire dogs= hellhounds

- I... I can't believe she (Yrilisse) is dead...

- I'll need time to deal with this.

- but once I'm strong enough, Mavis will suffer for what they did.

- comfort russian nesting dolls

- I never say this... And don't tell anyone I said this, but I'm grateful to have Mari with me. She's so caring and so loving. And it's so... New.

- Acorns are apparently not subtle

- neither am I, apparently?

Some loss is necessary.

Things I have learned (session 11);

-The entire time I was going "SHIT SHIT SHIT I'M GONNA DIE"

-so... Nope. No more speaking from me.

- Mari is such a wonderful girlfriend. Thank you for not killing me for defending someone you hate.

-Sulas. Fucking. Sulas.

- I've never seen Wynn so happy in my life.

- I've also never seen her so scared.

- I'm going to kill this man

-people think I'm cool!

- we're not READY to fight a DRAGON

- why do people think they can seduce them?!

- (DM didn't expect this to go so badly)

Note from Khanna:

HOW DARE YOU END THE SESSION THE WAY YOU DID. HOW. DARE. YOU

Maniacal cackling

ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ ᴍᴇʀᴄᴇʀ ᴇғғᴇᴄᴛ | ᴛᴀʟᴋs ᴍᴀᴄʜɪɴᴀ - ᴀ ɢᴀᴍᴇ ᴏғ ɴᴀᴍᴇs

😁

This… This sounds familiar…

You have noooo idea yet.

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