Cirene Asonlos

just a dumbass barbarian that's a part of a family of disasters. (this account is more just for me to put memes and jokes that relate to a DnD campaign I play- Khanna)

[yourplayersaidwhat]

We were visiting the barbarian’s family and we walked into a conference room to discuss our next move.

Monk: Why does your dad have a war room?

Barbarian: He do war.

[giantfirelady]

Can I have a war room?

[magical-bunnies]

Lanelle says no

[giantfirelady]

Damn

[yourplayersaidwhat]

We were visiting the barbarian’s family and we walked into a conference room to discuss our next move.

Monk: Why does your dad have a war room?

Barbarian: He do war.

[giantfirelady]

Can I have a war room?

[fanghusband]

may your 2023 be vampiric and homoerotic

[giantfirelady]

For Wynn :)

[wizardpotions]

We need to start objectifying wizards. We can't slap them on the ass though they only have 4 hit points they may perish

[giantfirelady]

Can't slap my wife on the ass or she might put me in a bubble...

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Barbarian: I'm done being careful.

Cleric: You think you've been careful so far?

[giantfirelady]

I've been more careful recently. I'll concede when I was younger I was way more reckless

[archaicbluebird]

This has been a long time coming.

[giantfirelady]

Fuck him up, Wynn. We got your back!

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Yes, you have disadvantage on this stealth check BECAUSE YOU ARE ON FUCKING /FIRE/!

– Our druid was wildshaped into a big flaming spider.

Small problem: we were in the underdark.

[yaoinurse]

If you wouldn’t fuck a vampire you’re a liar and a bitch

[giantfirelady]

@archaicbluebird

I love you, you’re not a bitch, but you are fucking a vampire

[archaicbluebird]

There are some semantics that technically make this incorrect

[giantfirelady]

Fair. You're fucking a vampire, so not a liar and a bitch.

[yaoinurse]

If you wouldn’t fuck a vampire you’re a liar and a bitch

[giantfirelady]

@archaicbluebird

I love you, you're not a bitch, but you are fucking a vampire

[yourplayersaidwhat]

(We split up to check a couple rooms in an abandoned mansion for loot…)

Rogue: Oh hey [Wizard]. [Fighter] found a Mirror of Life Trapping in the other room.

Wizard: What. How? He can’t even detect magic?!

Rogue: …

Wizard: …

Rogue: …

Wizard: … he’s in the mirror isn’t he.

Rogue: You know… reflecting on this, splitting up was a bad idea.

(Took a bit but we got him out lol)

[giantfirelady]

Wait... why does this feel familiar?

[giantfirelady]

Things I have learned (Session 44) (THE FINAL BATTLE)

• Man, what a crazy dream…

• Love ignoring any and all resistances

• Wynn has a new trick? Sweet!

• Ok, this… this is so. Fucking. Cool.

• It's such a beautiful Wonderland

• Birdies!

• Fireflies!

• I GET A ROOM?!

• I'm gonna cryyyyyyyyyyy

• Wynn is so nice, and so sweet.

• THERE'S A FIGHTING PIT AND A GARDEN!!!!

• Torkin got some new tricks too, lol

• To Sulas so I can murder Rokan

• Fuck, I forgot he could do that

• FUCK, HE CAN DO THAT

• *sigh* Hey Thor, can I come back to life please? Thaaaanks

• Oh THANK GODS I GOT TO FUCKING KILL HIM

• But I will gratefully take this rest in whatever temple we're in.

• FUCK MAVIS

We now take this brief intermission To recuperate as this was a very, very long session. It is also our last actual one, and I for one am sad to let go of Cirene. This was a wonderful year, and I love my DM and my fellow player so much. Thank you for this wonderful, amazing campaign. And Now, Onto the final boss!

• Hate how smug Mavis is

• THAT MOTHERFUCKER TURNED FUCKING INVISIBLE

• Thank you Wynn for dispelling their invisibility.

• Honestly, she was the MVP of that fight

• TORKIN! FUCK.

• KILL HIM AGAIN MAVIS I FUCKING DARE YOU

• FUCK. THEY CHARMED ME

• FUCK

• AHHHH

• Whew. It's finally over.

• Didn't expect Mavis to be some form of tortured soul. Huh.

[giantfirelady]

Things I learned (Session 43)

I got to sleep in; what hero ever gets to sleep in?

I found Zel!

He was in a closet

Tempting offer, to be queen. But no thanks!

Wonder what the second and first worst day of Zel's life was.

Fun to watch Zel be uncomfortable.

Gods I love Mari so much. So much

Is… is six months too soon? I feel like it's too soon

I have other things to worry about anyways!

Oh look, it's the bandits we terrified

I'm not sure I'm ready to settle down after this…

I mean, yes I want to spend time with Mari…

But also, adventure fun?

I like fighting? I like the rush?

Wonder if there's anyway for me to keep fighting and stay in Dandruin.

Velen!

Johan and Tarryn are married!

And also, Torkin with a flower crown. It's so fucking wonderful

Why is everyone excited to see Wynn?

Like, she's a famous performer from the circus

But like, she's in hiding?

We are disasters! :3

Poor Johan, lol

Welp. Time to go to Sulas now.

I DIDN"T TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER

SHE IMPRINTED ON ME

So much fuck you to this mama dragon.

We were literally just passing by!

the flower crown has the blessing of invincibility!

Hi Thor!

OMG THESE BLESSINGS THOUGH

[the-unseelie-court-official]

Breaking: CDC announces if you are fully vaccinated you can walk into a fairy circle.

[stpndsbdss]

*squints at username*

.....nah, I’m good.

[peanitbear]

point me to the nearest circle.

[giantfirelady]

If you think I'm walking into the feywild again you're very wro- is someone singing?

[archaicbluebird]

Cirene! Bad!

[giantfirelady]

I didn't even go anywhere! I thought it was you singing!

[the-unseelie-court-official]

Breaking: CDC announces if you are fully vaccinated you can walk into a fairy circle.

[stpndsbdss]

*squints at username*

.....nah, I’m good.

[peanitbear]

point me to the nearest circle.

[giantfirelady]

If you think I'm walking into the feywild again you're very wro- is someone singing?

[giantfirelady]

Things I have learned (session 42)

Thank gods Zel is alive and well

Maybe Sylvaera knocked some sense into him.

Worried about Aluona… hope she's ok

New outfit for Wynn!

Also, amazing new Tattoos

So… Wynn got… distracted

BEAN TIME

Geyser!

And a tree. Nice!

A FUCKING BULLET BIT ME. WHAT THE FUCK, TORKIN?!

Sc…. Sc…. Screaming mushrooms

OH MY GOSH CUTE PINK TOADS

SO ADORABLE

Sir… sir I don't wanna fight you?

You're too cute to fight?

WHAT WHY DID IT TURN INTO THAT?!

A LICH.WE BEAT A LICH

Love that we can do that now

Cirene statue is mean

We now have a giant beanstalk in our backyard

No Jacks allowed.

A GIANT PYRAMID?!

So… never eat magic eggs.

But at least I got smarter

Zel returned!

Haha he has to go through a coronation

But it is good to have the whole crew here

[giantfirelady]

Things I have Learned (session 41)

I'm home!

THEY'RE ALIVE THANK GODS

I… I have a brother….

I HAVE A BROTHER

HAHAHAHA TORKIN LIZARD

Oh fun. Fire giants.

I hope they're ready to deal with us, because they aren't touching my home.

Oooh, new weapon for Torkin!

Spending spell slots like they're candy!

I am now just an Arms character

Wynn perching on Torkin's shoulder

So… Sometimes I should just let Mari put spells on me.

I'm in soooo much trouble

NIGHTINGALE AND TURTLEDOVE AHHHHH

THEY"RE SO CUTE

Oh poor Tasha

Wynn so naïve

MULTIPURPOSE TOOL

Now to find Zel

STORM GIANTS ARE REAL?!

Oh my gods. Zel is pulling off a me.

[perhapsdragon-deactivated202308]

[giantfirelady]

@archaicbluebird

[archaicbluebird]

Birbs!

[giantfirelady]

Birbs indeed!